All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S19E18.WEBRip.x264-XEN0N

Oxygen is the human body's fuel.

♪ Today ♪

It powers our brains,

organs, and bodily tissues.

- ♪ It's a light,
come and see it now ♪

♪ Today, today is ♪

Without a proper supply,

our bodies can't function.

- I haven't written mine
yet, but I will by Friday.

Wait, you already wrote

and memorized your
vows, didn't you?

I'm excited too.

I just need more hours in a day,

but I did book a car to
pick up your parents.

- Our brains...
- Okay.

Hearts, and kidneys...

- See you soon.

Can only tolerate
a lack of oxygen

for a limited time before
their cells begin to die.

- Wow, you really know
what you're doing.

- I have had seven sister's
worth of hand-me-downs.

This is nothing.

Wouldn't have pegged you
for a vintage dress though.

- I was gonna rock a jumpsuit.
- Fierce!

- But then my grandma
pulled my mom's dress

from the attic, because
she thinks I'm my mom.

And it just felt like a sign.

I'm just lucky you
have tailoring skills.

- Lucky, and also,
you're getting a bill.

About five minutes
for the brain...

- ♪ Come and feel it now ♪
- Wow.

About 30 for the
heart and kidneys.

- Don't look.

It's bad luck for the
bride to see the roommate

before the wedding.

Yeah, you're fine.

- Have you guys seen this email?

Apparently, Dr. Webber has

a special announcement
this morning.

Wait, do you think
the residency program

is coming off probation?

- Or maybe Grey or
Pierce is coming back?

- Or they're finally
putting cheese curls

back in the vending machine.

It's more likely
than either of yours.

We're leaving in five minutes.

I'm only gonna tell
you once, okay?

- She's still in
a wedding dress.

- And you're slow.
Get in the shower.

- ♪ Your moment shining down ♪

When a patient loses oxygen,

doctors know the
clock is ticking.

- ♪ It's a vibe, can
you feel it now? ♪

- Matcha latte, your favorite.
- Thanks.

- You could have one every
day if you came back.

- Could have one every day now.

- Well, yeah, but you wouldn't
need to cross the street.

Plus, you could wear scrubs,
which are basically pajamas.

- Are those your
big selling points?

- Well, Webber has an
announcement this morning.

That's gotta be good news.

- Yeah, well, don't
get your hopes up.

I only agreed to
talk to a few people.

Ooh, I gotta go.
- Oh!

You get to save lives...

in pajamas!

- BokHee, hey.

- Um, uh, attention,
everyone. Attention.

- We have some exciting
news that we want to share.

As you know, each year,
the Catherine Fox Award

recognizes surgical innovations

that push the boundaries
of modern medicine.

- It's been some time since
Grey Sloan's had a nominee,

but this morning, we
received word that not one

but two of our doctors
have been nominated.

- Please join me
in congratulating

Dr. Nick Marsh

nominated for his work
on xenotransplantation.

- Wow, thank you.

- And Dr. Winston Ndugu,

who's been nominated along
with Dr. Maggie Pierce

for their groundbreaking
partial heart transplant.

We look forward
to celebrating you

at the award ceremony in Boston.

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Congratulations
again to both of you

I've got seats on the
Fox Foundation jet.

- Thank you.

I'm headed to the OR now,
but I'm truly honored.

- Congratulations.

- I'll have information
about the ceremony

and travel plans later today.

We're just finalizing
a few things.

- That's okay. I'm good.

I'm... I'm not going.

But thank you.

- Sam Sutton post-op
day two status.

Post upper and lower
limb fracture repairs

and right lower
extremity gastroc flap.

All Doppler signals are strong,
and no sign of infection.

- I hear I'm gonna be famous.

- Well, it depends
on how you define it.

We're writing up your case
for a medical journal,

not "The New York Times."

- But we do hope it'll help
other doctors and patients.

- So they know how to treat

the next guy who
breaks 93 bones.

- Well, your vitals look good.

I'll come back and check
on you later tonight.

- Great. What happened
to my other doctor?

- Uh, Dr. Griffith, the intern?

- No, no, no, she
had light brown hair,

Disney princess eyes,
heart-stopping smile.

- Dr. Wilson?
- Yes.

Is Dr. Wilson single,

or did she just say that
because I was dying?

- She said that?

- Well, she's with
other patients,

but Dr. Yasuda will
be taking your data

for the rest of the day,
so if you need something,

just ask her.
- All right.

- Yeah.

- You can call me
a Disney princess,

but I don't date patients.

- And we should also
monitor her urine output

and fluid status.

- Uh, Dr. Bailey?

May I please be on your service?

- I thought you
were on Shepherd's.

- I was, but I know this case,

and I can provide a
high level of care.

- You know the patient,

which is a reason for you
not to be on the case.

- She and I are not family,

and we've barely
known each other

for more than a few months.
I can be professional.

- I'm happy to switch.

- Okay, Millin, you're with
me. Kwan, go find Shepherd.

Hello.

- Hello, Doctor.

- Maxine Anderson, 81 years old.

Diagnosed with a UTI

complicated by
delirium and sepsis.

Treated with IV antibiotics.

Her delirium has resolved,

and she's been off
pressors for 24 hours.

She's being downgraded
to a stepdown bed today.

How are you feeling today?
- Much better, thank heavens.

I lost my marbles
there for a minute.

- Well, glad you're
feeling better.

- Jules... I mean, Dr. Millin,

if that happens again,

I want you to know a few things.

First, please remember
to feed Mr. Darcy.

- The cat.

Got it. What else?

- I want to be cremated.

Spread my ashes in
the Grand Canyon

and play Tom Jones
at my funeral.

- Max...

- And if I'm going,

just let me go.

I do not want to lie around

like a turnip for
the rest of my days.

No shocking with paddles,
no tube down my throat.

I want to be remembered
as a vibrant 81.

- Max, you're not dying.

You're being moved from
the ICU to a regular room.

- But we understand your wishes,

and we'll get you the paperwork.

- You'll be able to go
home in a day or two.

- Oh, that's great news,
not that I mind it here.

The food's edible,

the orderlies are
quite good-looking,

and with Jules
sleeping down the hall,

it almost feels like home.

- I've had a couple
of late nights.

That's what the on-call
room is for, right?

- Okay, Mrs. Anderson,
Dr. Millin will transport you,

and I will see you
in your new room.

- Max.
- Oh, I forgot.

- Either of you ever seen an
abdominal aortic aneurysm?

- Only in textbooks.

- I read that triple
As are super rare,

Basically unheard of
in patients under 60.

- That's right.
Keep up, please.

- Well, our guy's only 29,

and he's a
non-smoking vegetarian

with no predisposing
genetic history

of cardiac disease.

- What are the triple As
most serious complications?

- Dissection, a tear
in the aortic lining

requires stenting or surgery.

- Rupture, if the
aneurysm bursts,

we gotta take him
straight to the OR.

- Good.
- Is that why we're rushing?

- Not exactly.

No, no, no, no, no,
not again. Ray, listen.

- Look, I'm sorry,
Dr. Altman, okay?

I can't do this today.
- Ray.

- Sorry, sorry.
Excuse me, excuse me.

- Uh, what are we
supposed to do now?

- We run after him.

- Hey, I just saw the
funniest thing at day care.

Scout was annoyed that
Luna had this hedgehog toy,

and he made this face.

It looked exactly like you look

when you're annoyed with me.

- Excuse me. Sam
Sutton asked for you.

He said it wasn't
urgent, though.

- Yeah, I just saw him.

- No, he's asking
for Dr. Wilson.

- Oh.

- Mm.

- That's it. That's the face.

Wait, why... Why are
you annoyed with me?

Don't you think it's
a little inappropriate

to tell a patient
that you're single?

- He asked, and he
thought he was gonna die.

- He said you have
Disney princess eyes.

- You think I don't?

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I appreciate the
misplaced chivalry,

but do you remember
how many times

I would get hit on at
Jimmy's Crab Shack?

I think I can handle myself.

- Dr. Angle to the Psych Unit.

Dr Lea Engle to the Psych Unit.

- Ray, can we just stop
and talk about this?

- Look, you said I didn't
need the surgery right now.

- Right now and never are
two very different things,

plus that was two months
and three failed attempts

at surgery ago.

- Okay, well, I'm still alive,

so I'm good, great,
fantastic, really.

- You have a weakened
aorta, which supplies blood

to all of your major
organs. If it bursts...

- I know, okay? You told me.

But those consent forms,

they say I could
have renal failure

or heart problems or
bleed out during surgery.

No, thanks.

- There is a less than 5% chance

of renal failure, bleeding
out, or heart problems,

but there is a 10% chance

that your aneurysm will
rupture at any moment,

and if that happens,
your chances of survival

are worse than all of
these numbers combined.

- Okay, just stop. Just stop.

I don't know about
all the statistics,

but what I do know is
that those consent forms

say I could die a
dozen different ways

if I do the surgery.

I'm an illustrator.

I sit at a desk all day.

It doesn't require
much exertion.

- At this point, it
might not take much.

- I'll take my chances.

- Those chances would be so
much better with surgery.

- You can't force me to do this.

- Ray.
- So we just let him go?

- He's a ticking time bomb.
- Informed consent.

We can't force a patient
to get a procedure.

His mom will work on him,

and hopefully he will come back.

All right, you two,
go to the skills lab,

and I will page you
if something comes up.

- Mm. Coming?

- Yeah, go ahead.
I'll catch up.

- Hey, you were looking for me.
- I was.

I have a question about
the... The, uh, the plate

that you put in my arm, and...

Okay, yeah, obviously, I
don't really have a question.

I just wanted to see you
so I could thank you.

- For what?
- Saving my life.

- Okay, I know that
post-op can be boring...

- It is. It is so boring.

I thought I could flirt with you

while we play a game of cards.

You'd be holding all
the cards for real.

- Well, my day is
anything but boring, so...

- Okay, okay, go
cut people open.

I'll be here all
week. We have time.

- Actually, I'm
delivering twins.

I am both an OB-GYN
and a general surgeon.

- You're pretty
and multitalented.

We are a rare breed.

- Uh, so what do you do now
that you're no longer military?

- Oh, I'm still a pilot,
just not military.

- So flying hundreds of
people through the air

wasn't terrifying enough.

You had to put on a
shiny sleeping bag

and jump out of a plane.

- I'm actually a
pretty simple guy.

- Yeah, because
simple guys are always

jumping off of pyramids and
rainforest cliffs, or...

- You stalked my social media.

- I wanted to know
what wingsuiting was.

- Um, I have to get back to OB.

Is there anything
else that you need?

- Not at the moment,

but I will keep
your offer in mind.

- You realize that
she meant medically?

No, she didn't.

- Ray, hi.

Uh, can I have a minute.
- Oh, my God.

Stop with the consent forms.

What, do you get a commission
on the surgery or something?

- Uh, no, no, no
commission. Just my notes.

I just want to talk.
- Yeah.

You mean talk me
into the surgery.

- No, no, no, talk
about the surgery.

Okay, it's your
decision. I just...

I won't be able to sleep

knowing I didn't do
everything I could

to make sure you were informed.
Let's just take a walk, okay?

You're leaving anyway, right?
I could use some fresh air.

- Are you coming?

- Dr. Brooks to Oncology.

Dr. Brooks to Oncology.

- We got you one with a window.
- Oh, how nice.

Surprise!

- Norma, Lois!

- Welcome to your new room.
- Did we scare you?

I didn't want to yell,
but Norma made me.

- I'm fine. I loved it!

Come here, you two.

Mwah!

- I told them they could
only stay for an hour.

You need to get your rest.
- Oh, don't listen to Jules.

She's in doctor mode.

- Speaking of Jules, we
brought your crochet bag.

- You know, my treble stitch
is getting much better.

- Wow, nice, but
that's a half double.

I can show you the treble
this afternoon again.

- Oh, you see how
she talks to me?

- She's an angel, if a
doctor can be an angel,

like in that movie.

- Oh, we put your
toiletries in the bathroom.

- Oh, thank heavens. My
hair needs a good brushing.

- "Angel Doctor."
- That's not a movie.

- Uh, "Doctor Angel."
- That's not a movie either.

- Max.
- I'm fine. I'm fine.

- Okay, okay.
- Thanks.

- Oh, Doc.

- Her color's good.
- How's her appetite?

- Uh, it's back.
Her appetite...

Ow!

Max.

- Oh, Max, are you okay?

I... I... I don't know. Am I?

- Okay, all right.

Okay, just take deep breaths.

- Winston.
- Hey.

- Will it be awkward for
you seeing Maggie so soon?

- It'll definitely
be awkward, yeah.

- But, uh, you're coming anyway.

- Very few Black men have been
nominated for this award...

So I'll be there.

- I'm proud of you, son.

I'm proud of me too.

Excuse me, a consult.
- Okay.

The Catherine Fox
Award means something

to people around here.

You know, if Winston can
rise and face Maggie,

I think you'll be able to
handle seeing Meredith.

- Dr. Webber, I don't believe

in ranking medical
contributions.

I just don't.

I also don't feel the need
to go all the way to Boston

for some rubber chicken dinner.

Listen, I'm sorry, but it's
a little presumptuous...

- Your absence would be an
insult to this hospital,

your fellow
nominees, and my wife

for who the award is
named, so I suggest

you get off your
moral high ground,

set aside your
feelings about Boston,

do your job, and join us.

- Dr. Olivares to
Labor and Delivery.

Dr. Olivares to
Labor and Delivery.

- Floor wasn't even slippery.

There weren't any obstacles.

I was just walking to the sink.

Ow.
- What do you see, Millin?

- Uh, she has a fractured rib,

which explains her pain when
she moves her upper body.

- What's the treatment for that?

- Rest. It should
heal on its own.

- What about her head?

- The cut doesn't
appear serious,

but I'd like to get a scan.

So let's get her up
to CT and page Neuro.

- Maxine...
- I'm not up to visitors today.

I think you two better go.

- I'll be here, and I will
call with any updates.

I promise.

- Left open comminuted
humeral fracture,

right open femoral fracture...

- Do you always narrate
your data input?

- Helps keep me accurate.
What are you working on?

- I'm watching an
old triple A surgery

while double checking
the wedding spreadsheet

for the RSVPs.

- Oh, you know
I'm coming, right?

- Never sent in a card.

- I live with you.
It was assumed.

- Adams isn't coming.

- That is different,
and you know it.

You bringing a plus one?

- Did you even read
the invitation?

- I was working two jobs.

It's this weekend,
right, isn't it?

Why'd you move it up again?
- Grandma's getting worse.

She's got maybe a good 90
minutes in the morning,

and that time is shrinking.
- That's rough.

- You know what she
remembers though?

Weddings, she loves them,

the colors, the
flowers, the favors.

We actually have conversations
about the wedding

that feel completely real.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I'm just gonna
take a look around.

How's the new space?
- Can't complain.

- Is everything okay?
- I don't know, let me think.

You complained to
Altman about a job

you haven't worked
at for months.

You projected your own
trauma onto my situation

resulting in half of
the surgical chiefs

meeting about me.
- I'm sorry.

I... how can I make it up to you?
- I'll get over it.

I just need to be mad
at you for a minute.

- Is that a literal minute or...
- Figurative.

Right.

I'm just gonna...

- I always thought
you two had chemistry.

- What, me and Helm? Why?

She hasn't made a move.
- You could.

- I don't like rejection.

I once had very embarrassing,
somewhat traumatic rejection

during a prom-posal go
viral at my high school.

I don't make the
first move anymore,

and it's worked out fine for me.

- Okay.

Who's your plus one again?

- So you're an illustrator, huh?

- Yeah, yeah, graphic novels.

I draw, and my friend
Sunita writes the stories.

We're working on one
right now about a kid

whose big brother is afraid
to die before he turns 30,

so they're building a portal
to a parallel universe

so that they could time jump
and that he could turn 31

and then reenter the real world.

- Cool.

Also very specific.

I had a really vivid
dream when I was a kid.

Um, my grandpa who
died before I was born

sat at the edge of
my bed and told me

we'd be together for
my 30th birthday.

It scared the crap out of me,

so I've never smoked.
I don't drink.

I stopped eating meat.
Hell, I don't even drive.

I take public transit.

And maybe it's
completely irrational,

but I always thought,
if I could just make it

past 30 I'll be okay.

I need to stay alive for my mom,

and I'm helping with my
sister's college tuition,

so I can't die.

I don't wanna die.

- I don't want that either.

Look, I'm not a
professional like you,

but here is your aorta.

- Dr. Adams, look, I appreciate
what you're trying to do.

- Look, the statistics
freak you out,

so let's draw it.

Okay, so we'll access your
aorta through your groin,

and then we'll
thread a small wire

up through the
abdominal aneurysm,

and then we'll deploy a graft,

which will expand to
reinforce the weak area

and simulate an artery,
which will allow blood

to flow through safely.
- Is that a potato?

- That's a kidney.
- With a Slinky?

That's the graft.

Bruh, you suck at drawing.

Fair.

But I promise

this procedure has been
tested over and over,

and if a problem comes
up like you mentioned,

we have ways to address it.

What we can't do is be with
you if the aneurysm ruptures

while you're at home.

- Did you feel dizzy before
you fell, Mrs. Anderson?

- I don't think so.

I just remember
losing my balance

and stupidly hitting
my head on the sink.

Maybe it's a sign.

- Loss of balance
can be a symptom

of a variety of conditions.

- Or a sign that my time is up.

When the racehorse
breaks its leg,

they usually put it down.

- Max, you're not a racehorse.

- No, not anymore.

- Oh, an active brain bleed
in the subdural space.

We should prep for
a decompression.

Kwan, book an OR.
- On it.

- Uh, Dr. Shepherd, could
I scrub in if that's okay?

- Uh, no, it's not.

You were on neuro this morning,
and you traded with Kwan.

- I could trade back.
- You will do no such thing.

- What is happening here?

- Ah, Millin just
confirmed my suspicion

that she's too
close to the patient

to be her doctor.
- What? No, no.

I just... she's talking
about being euthanized

like an animal.

- Look me in the eye and tell me

that you do not consider
that woman family.

Mm-hmm, you're off
the case for good.

- Dr. Altman.
- Yes, yes.

We're all very excited.
Thanks, Catherine.

You know, technically,
Grey Sloan can claim

three Catherine
Fox Award nominees

since Pierce performed
her transplant here.

- That's great. About Ray...

- Yeah, I know it
can be disappointing.

Sometimes patients
just don't understand,

but there will be other
triple As to repair.

- Yeah, but I still
think we should do Ray's.

He signed the consent forms.

- Page Griffith, and
let's get him to radiology

before he bolts
again. Well done.

- Oh.
- Seriously?

You're lucky the twins'
mom is still dilating.

What is it?
- I have an itch to scratch.

No, literally, it's... help.

- This is what
orderlies are for.

- I know.

I could've called somebody else,

but then you wouldn't be here.

- Don't move.

Okay. That?

- Oh, you are the best doctor
I've ever had in my life.

- If you ask for a
sponge bath, I'm leaving.

- You know, last
time I had a cast,

they let me pick the colors.

How old were you?

- Seven. Fell off
the monkey bars.

- You had a death
wish even then, huh?

- I was so bummed.

My dad was taking me to
my first pro ball game.

I had been practicing catching
fly balls for three months.

Glove doesn't fit over the cast.

Can't catch anything.

But the first baseman
saw me in the stands,

ran over, signed my cast.

I cried when they cut it off.

- Well, you're, uh, lucky
with all the dumb stuff you do

that you haven't
had a cast since.

- Yeah, I have had
half a dozen surgeries

and one metal plate,
but yeah, no casts.

The twins.
- Oh.

Gotta go.
- Lucky bastards.

- Thank you.
Thank you so much.

I'm... hey, I'm glad
to be nominated.

- Do you know how
many codes I ran

to save lives in
the ER last year?

Where's my award for that?
- For doing your job?

- He was doing his.

- My research is helping
to cure Parkinson's.

You don't see me
nominated for anything.

- Listen to you two complaining
about your lack of recognition.

- You're right.

- We're happy for him and Marsh.

- I mean, I oversaw

a simultaneous
12-person domino surgery

wherein six people
got new kidneys.

You know, I used deactivated HIV

to save a boy with SCID.

I mean, I spearheaded
changes in post-op protocols

to reduce post-op fistulas,
basically curing the problem.

If anyone should ask,
"Where's my award?"

it's me.

- I was almost out of here.
- You will be soon.

Dr. Shepherd has
done a lot of these.

- You're drilling into my
81-year-old skull, right?

If it were only me,
I'd tell you to put me

out of my misery and
send me to the farm.

I talked to Norma about Jules.

I said she was an
excellent roommate.

Not sure I can say
the same about Norma.

That woman snores
like a freight train.

Let's hope it
doesn't come to that.

I know that Jules
loves living with you.

- Mm.

Pete, my son, he went to college

right after my husband
and I divorced.

I brought him up
to be independent,

which was maybe my excuse
for not being more involved.

By the way, it worked.

He graduated and
moved to London.

I hardly ever see him anymore.

He doesn't need my
homemade split pea soup

or my special herbal
teas to ward off colds

or my hugs after a long day...

but Jules, she needs
all of those things.

It seems she didn't have
them when she was a child,

and now I get to
give them to her.

She's lucky to have you.

I'm the lucky one.

- What did you do
to convince him?

- I drew a bad picture.

I thought he'd respond
to a different approach.

- Chief, I just
wanted to say thanks

for funding the intern
skills practicum.

I appreciate it.
- Of course.

And congrats, again,
on the nomination.

- Sure, yeah.

- Oh, uh, Richard wanted me
to ask you about the dinner...

- No, count me out on that.

- Ray, what's wrong?

- My back, it really hurts.

Something's wrong.

- Damn it.

- Oh, my God, is that a...
- It's a rupture. Come on.

Code blue!

- Code blue,
Radiology. Third floor.

- Call the blood
bank. Activate an MTP.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

- ♪ Somehow ♪

- I need a vascular setup.
- I'll assist.

- Alert the OR!
- There's no time.

I'm opening him up right now.
- On the CT table?

- There's nowhere
else. You heard Altman.

Let's go. Come on, let's go.

- Come on. Come on, Ray.

Betadine, let's go.

All right, I need suction setup.

Lap pad. Ten blade.

- ♪ What are you gonna do? ♪

- Here we go.
Stop compressions.

- ♪ Oh, can't hide
the skeletons ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

- More irrigation, please.

- ♪ This is hell
out on the loose ♪

- Almost through.

We need to hang more blood.

- I need better visualization.

- Keep the compressions coming.

- ♪ From a shallow grave,
every choice you made ♪

♪ Shaking the ground,
ground, ground, ground ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

- Still no pulse.
- Scissors.

All right, got it. Clamp.

- ♪ Running out on you ♪

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

♪ Can't cage the elephant ♪

All right, more lap pads.

♪ What are you gonna do? ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Can't hide the skeletons ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ This is hell
out on the loose ♪

- Charge at 200.

All right, clear. Come
on, come on, come on.

Charge again to 200. Clear.

Come on.

Damn it. Let me in there.

Come on. Come on.

- Altman.
- He's 29 years old.

- I know. We did
everything we could.

- Come on.

- ♪ This is hell
out on the loose ♪

- Beautiful work, Dr. Shepherd.

- ♪ Can't hide the skeletons ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ This is hell
out on the loose ♪

- Time of death...

15:21.

- Dr. Webber, hi. Exciting
news this morning.

- Well, I wish everyone
shared your enthusiasm.

- Well, you know who
loves awards? Helm.

- Oh, she does, huh?
- I don't know.

I'm just looking
for a good segue.

- Ah.
- How did things go with her?

- She said she'd think about it.

- Did she seem upbeat?

- Well, honestly, she
was asking for things

we hadn't done before.
- Were they unreasonable?

- Well, not terribly,
I suppose, but...

- With all due respect, sir,

I don't see why
this is a question.

This hospital is bursting
at the seams with patients

and not enough doctors.
Helm is a proven asset.

You know exactly what
you're getting with her,

because you trained her.

You've worked with her
long enough to know

her talent and her
dedication, and frankly, sir,

we need more senior
residents, so please, please,

just give her what she wants.

- Nurse Kingsbury to Five West

Nurse Kingsbury to Five West.

- Again, it ruptured, and we
couldn't control the bleeding.

- I am very sorry,
Mrs. Sanchez.

I...

the hospital will mail

your son's belongings
to you in Tempe.

- Thank you, Doctor.

- Yeah, those calls
are never easy.

Hey, you got him
back to the hospital.

Adams, there's...
There's a thing with ADHD

where we feel the
losses really deeply,

so you have to take equal time

to give yourself
credit when you win.

You fought for him. Hey, hey.

You fought for
him. That matters.

- He knew in his
gut he was dying.

He knew he wasn't gonna see 30.

I knew in my gut
that I was different.

There was something different
about me my whole life.

I knew I wasn't just lazy,
which is what they called me.

You know, I went down
a rabbit hole online,

and I have pretty much
every single symptom.

I mean, difficulty focusing,

time blindness,
short attention span,

and my family is
full of doctors.

It's not like ADHD
is rare. You saw it.

Why didn't they?

I... I think parents,
sometimes they see their kids

through the lens of
their own experience.

Your parents were overachievers,

so they expected you to
be, and when you weren't,

they were so busy pushing
and pushing you to live up

to your potential, they
didn't think to look

for why you weren't

- Yeah, or maybe they
were just too busy

being disappointed in me,

they didn't bother.

You know, I hope you win
the Catherine Fox Award.

- Why?

- I don't know, because
I feel like a failure,

and I feel like I
caught this too late,

and if you win, then...

- If I win, we
aren't just losers?

Is that it?

Yeah, something like that.

- You know, Adams, this award,
it doesn't mean anything.

- If that's your
acceptance speech,

it's gonna need work.

- How long does a
delivery usually take?

A couple hours?
- Like, from Postmates?

- Never mind.
- Dude, you gotta take it easy.

Women don't love
aggressive flirting,

at least not from men.

- You don't get anywhere
if you don't ask.

You gotta at least ask.
- False alarm.

- You paged her again?
- Wasn't me.

- The twins do not
want to come out.

- So you came back
to get cheered up

by your favorite patient.
- No.

I was making sure that
Yasuda is checking...

- I am.
- On... okay.

Here.

That sounds...
- Weak.

- It does sound weak. Here.

Take this. Ready?

The flap's congested.
- What does that mean?

- We moved muscle from
the back of your leg

to the front to cover the bone.
- The flap.

- Yes. Yasuda,
what's happening?

- A hematoma, it's
putting pressure

on the flap and cutting
off the blood supply.

- Why do I feel
like this is bad?

- It is bad, if the flap dies.
- Is that gonna happen?

- Not if I decompress it.
- Another surgery?

- We can do it right
here if you consent.

- Do it. DO it.

- Yasuda, push
additional morphine.

- I'm good. I have a
high pain threshold.

Plus I kind of want to see this.

- Okay. Ready?

- Okay, more gauze.
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

Just breathe.

- The decompression went well.

- I know those are a regift.
I'm the one who brought them.

- I thought you'd want
to keep these for Maxine

while she's in the ICU.

Or I could keep them
by the nurses' station.

- No, leave 'em there.

- Well, hopefully, it
won't be that long,

and you can both
get out of here.

I know what it feels like

to sit by the side
of someone you love

and worry they're
not gonna make it.

I know that fear
and anger and grief.

- It's okay. Professional
distance and all.

- I'm just saying it's okay
to have those feelings.

I'm here for you.

- I'm fine, Kwan.

I need to call Norma and Lois.

- I've done a lot
of cool things,

but you just sliced into
my leg like it was nothing.

- It's no swimming with sharks.
- Oh, you went deep.

That post was from at
least three years ago.

- Wow, I never thought
I could be a third wheel

in a patient room.
- What was that, Yasuda?

- Nothing.

- Dr. Wilson, OB
called for you.

Cathy Han is headed into L&D.

- For real this time?
- I don't know.

I don't work up there.
- Okay.

- You just cut my leg open,

and now you're about
to deliver twins?

You are my hero. Sign my cast.

No tears when they remove it.
- No promises.

- See? You gotta at least ask.

- Richard.
- Here you go.

- Marsh.
- Yeah.

- I care about this program.
- I do too.

- Not like I do.

It's my legacy, and I need to
get it back to where it was,

and a nomination for
our residency director

is a big deal.

- I was about to ask
about a seat on the plane.

The residents, they need
me to get over myself,

and apparently so
do you, so yes,

I can put aside my
feelings about...

Boston if there's still
room on that plane.

- I think that can be arranged.

Good night.
- Good night.

When a patient codes
or loses their airway,

a doctor's first priority
is to get oxygen flowing.

We have a limited time
before damage sets in,

so we spring into action...

- Cheeseburger, no
mayo, extra pickles,

and a side of fries.
- I didn't order.

- Did you want something else?
- No.

I've just never been a
regular anywhere before.

- Yeah, well, don't
get used to it,

because I just gave notice.

- You're coming back
to the hospital?

- Yep.
- Ah.

- And there's something
I should tell you.

- Okay.

- Uh, as you know,
resident wellness

is important to me.
- Same.

- Uh, and I told Webber
that if I came back

I wanted to be in a
position to help with that,

you know, make sure
people don't burn out,

that they have mentors,
and so Webber agreed

to make me co-chief
resident with you.

That's the best news ever.

- Okay.

I'm so glad you think that.
- Are you kidding?

It's way too much work
for any one human to do,

plus it's you and me.
- I know.

- Were you surprised
when Webber agreed to it?

- Not nearly as much
as when he agreed

to give me eight
weeks' vacation.

- Eight weeks?
- Yeah.

But don't worry, though.

I'll give you plenty of
notice before I take it.

- Eight weeks.

But in life, time
limits aren't as clear.

- Do you want to
go to a wedding?

- Do they need a bartender?

- Okay, I have to
say something to you

that is not very
comfortable for me to say...

which is that I like you,
and I don't mean that

as a boss or a friend.

I like you like you, and
if you're not interested,

that's okay.

I will simply walk
away and possibly

never step foot
in this bar again

due to my previously
mentioned discomfort,

but at least I asked...

and if you are interested,

my roommate Simone
is getting married,

and I know it's
very last minute,

but there will be
food and drinks,

and I think dancing.

I still haven't fully
read the invitation,

but I...
- Uh, Yasuda...

- I thought we could go together

on a date in case
that wasn't clear.

It can be hard to gauge

whether it's better to hurry up

or take things slow.

- Uh, Yasuda, I'm
about to be your boss.

Co-chief resident with Schmitt.

- Oh. It's inappropriate.

- But...

if the wedding is
this weekend...

- It is.

- Then our date would
predate my employment.

- It would.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Do you want a drink?

- Yep.

We don't always know
how much time we have

before the clock runs
out on opportunity.

- ♪ I get weak ♪

♪ Whenever you're around ♪

- Babies?
- Babies.

- Yay. Fist bump.

No.

- Okay, well, your
signal sounds good.

Is there anything else
I can get for you?

- Another itch
scratched, please.

- Where?
- Back of my neck, right side.

Okay.

Okay.

- Mm-hmm.
- There?

You know, if being an OB and
a surgeon doesn't pan out,

you could switch to this.

- Oh, I was just
coming to check on you,

but I guess you're covered.
- This woman is my hero.

She cut my leg open like
it was a piece of steak.

- I heard.

Okay, I guess I'm
gonna head out.

I'm gonna grab some
food on the way home.

You want anything?
- Oh, no, I'm fine.

- Wait, you two live together?

- We do.
- We're roommates.

Okay, I'll see you later.

- ♪ Dungeons and
ivory towers ♪

- Let's see here.
- So twins, huh?

- Mm-hmm.
- Identical?

- Identical.
- Oh.

- I know.

- ♪ But as long as we
keep ♪ every promise ♪

Often we can't even be sure

if our time has passed...

- ♪ I know ♪

♪ There'll be heavy days ♪

- Is Yasuda home?
- Joe's.

To eat, not work.
- Huh.

- I'm so sorry about Ray.
- Yeah, yeah, me too.

- So...
- Oh, you can...

You can... you can have one.

There is plenty.

- ♪ Sweet symphony ♪

- So there's this
thing with ADHD,

which I'm figuring
out I probably have,

but there's this
thing, this symptom

where you get stuck in
your head, you overthink,

you have a hard time
saying what you mean,

because you can't
help but think about

all the possible
ramifications, and so...

Don't get married.
- Lucas.

- Maybe... maybe I'm too late,
or maybe I lost my chance.

But I wouldn't be able
to live with myself

if I didn't tell you
while you still had time

to change your mind.

Trey doesn't see you,

or maybe he sees an
old version of you,

but I see you.

Simone, I see you...

and I love every
single thing I see.

- ♪ Even if the world ♪

♪ That we built
falls at our feet ♪

♪ We're still right where
we're supposed to be ♪

♪ Together through
ups and the downs ♪

And all we can do is
seize the present.

- ♪ Dungeons and
ivory towers ♪

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