Original subtitles

[Judith Hill's "Today Is"]

Meredith: Oxygen is the human body's fuel.

[together] ♪ Today

Meredith: It powers our brains,

organs, and bodily tissues.

- ♪ It's a light, come and see it now ♪

[together] ♪ Today, today is

Meredith: Without a proper supply,

our bodies can't function.

- I haven't written mine yet, but I will by Friday.

Wait, you already wrote

and memorized your vows, didn't you?

I'm excited too.

I just need more hours in a day,

but I did book a car to pick up your parents.

Meredith: Our brains... - Okay.

Meredith: Hearts, and kidneys...

- See you soon.

Meredith: Can only tolerate a lack of oxygen

for a limited time before their cells begin to die.

- Wow, you really know what you're doing.

- I have had seven sister's worth of hand-me-downs.

This is nothing.

Wouldn't have pegged you for a vintage dress though.

- I was gonna rock a jumpsuit. - Fierce!

- But then my grandma pulled my mom's dress

from the attic, because she thinks I'm my mom.

And it just felt like a sign.

I'm just lucky you have tailoring skills.

- Lucky, and also, you're getting a bill.

Meredith: About five minutes for the brain...

- ♪ Come and feel it now - Wow.

Meredith: About 30 for the heart and kidneys.

- Don't look.

It's bad luck for the bride to see the roommate

before the wedding.

Yeah, you're fine.

- Have you guys seen this email?

Apparently, Dr. Webber has

a special announcement this morning.

Wait, do you think the residency program

is coming off probation?

- Or maybe Grey or Pierce is coming back?

- Or they're finally putting cheese curls

back in the vending machine.

It's more likely than either of yours.

We're leaving in five minutes.

I'm only gonna tell you once, okay?

- She's still in a wedding dress.

- And you're slow. Get in the shower.

- ♪ Your moment shining down

Meredith: When a patient loses oxygen,

doctors know the clock is ticking.

- ♪ It's a vibe, can you feel it now? ♪

- Matcha latte, your favorite. - Thanks.

- You could have one every day if you came back.

- Could have one every day now.

- Well, yeah, but you wouldn't need to cross the street.

Plus, you could wear scrubs, which are basically pajamas.

- Are those your big selling points?

- Well, Webber has an announcement this morning.

That's gotta be good news.

- Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up.

I only agreed to talk to a few people.

Ooh, I gotta go. - Oh!

You get to save lives...

in pajamas!

- BokHee, hey.

- Um, uh, attention, everyone. Attention.

- We have some exciting news that we want to share.

As you know, each year, the Catherine Fox Award

recognizes surgical innovations

that push the boundaries of modern medicine.

- It's been some time since Grey Sloan's had a nominee,

but this morning, we received word that not one

but two of our doctors have been nominated.

- Please join me in congratulating

Dr. Nick Marsh

nominated for his work on xenotransplantation.

- Wow, thank you.

- And Dr. Winston Ndugu,

who's been nominated along with Dr. Maggie Pierce

for their groundbreaking partial heart transplant.

[applause]

We look forward to celebrating you

at the award ceremony in Boston.

[applause]

[light dramatic music]

Congratulations again to both of you

I've got seats on the Fox Foundation jet.

- Thank you.

I'm headed to the OR now, but I'm truly honored.

- Congratulations.

[sighs]

- I'll have information about the ceremony

and travel plans later today.

We're just finalizing a few things.

- That's okay. I'm good.

I'm--I'm not going.

But thank you.

- Sam Sutton post-op day two status.

Post upper and lower limb fracture repairs

and right lower extremity gastroc flap.

All Doppler signals are strong, and no sign of infection.

- I hear I'm gonna be famous.

- Well, it depends on how you define it.

We're writing up your case for a medical journal,

not "The New York Times."

- But we do hope it'll help other doctors and patients.

- So they know how to treat

the next guy who breaks 93 bones.

[all chuckle]

- Well, your vitals look good.

I'll come back and check on you later tonight.

- Great. What happened to my other doctor?

- Uh, Dr. Griffith, the intern?

- No, no, no, she had light brown hair,

Disney princess eyes, heart-stopping smile.

- Dr. Wilson? - Yes.

Is Dr. Wilson single,

or did she just say that because I was dying?

- She said that?

- Well, she's with other patients,

but Dr. Yasuda will be taking your data

for the rest of the day, so if you need something,

just ask her. - All right.

- Yeah.

[light quirky music]

- You can call me a Disney princess,

but I don't date patients.

- And we should also monitor her urine output

and fluid status.

- Uh, Dr. Bailey?

May I please be on your service?

- I thought you were on Shepherd's.

- I was, but I know this case,

and I can provide a high level of care.

- You know the patient,

which is a reason for you not to be on the case.

- She and I are not family,

and we've barely known each other

for more than a few months. I can be professional.

- I'm happy to switch.

- Okay, Millin, you're with me. Kwan, go find Shepherd.

Hello.

- Hello, Doctor.

- Maxine Anderson, 81 years old.

Diagnosed with a UTI

complicated by delirium and sepsis.

Treated with IV antibiotics.

Her delirium has resolved,

and she's been off pressors for 24 hours.

She's being downgraded to a stepdown bed today.

How are you feeling today? - Much better, thank heavens.

I lost my marbles there for a minute.

- Well, glad you're feeling better.

- Jules--I mean, Dr. Millin,

if that happens again,

I want you to know a few things.

First, please remember to feed Mr. Darcy.

- The cat.

Got it. What else?

- I want to be cremated.

Spread my ashes in the Grand Canyon

and play Tom Jones at my funeral.

- Max--

- And if I'm going,

just let me go.

I do not want to lie around

like a turnip for the rest of my days.

No shocking with paddles, no tube down my throat.

I want to be remembered as a vibrant 81.

- Max, you're not dying.

You're being moved from the ICU to a regular room.

- But we understand your wishes,

and we'll get you the paperwork.

- You'll be able to go home in a day or two.

- Oh, that's great news, not that I mind it here.

The food's edible,

the orderlies are quite good-looking,

and with Jules sleeping down the hall,

it almost feels like home.

- I've had a couple of late nights.

That's what the on-call room is for, right?

- Okay, Mrs. Anderson, Dr. Millin will transport you,

and I will see you in your new room.

♪

- Max. - Oh, I forgot.

- Either of you ever seen an abdominal aortic aneurysm?

- Only in textbooks.

- I read that triple As are super rare,

Basically unheard of in patients under 60.

- That's right. Keep up, please.

- Well, our guy's only 29,

and he's a non-smoking vegetarian

with no predisposing genetic history

of cardiac disease.

- What are the triple As most serious complications?

- Dissection, a tear in the aortic lining

requires stenting or surgery.

- Rupture, if the aneurysm bursts,

we gotta take him straight to the OR.

- Good. - Is that why we're rushing?

- Not exactly.

No, no, no, no, no, not again. Ray, listen.

- Look, I'm sorry, Dr. Altman, okay?

I can't do this today. - Ray.

- Sorry, sorry. Excuse me, excuse me.

- Uh, what are we supposed to do now?

- We run after him.

[light dramatic music]

[sighs]

♪

- Hey, I just saw the funniest thing at day care.

Scout was annoyed that Luna had this hedgehog toy,

and he made this face.

It looked exactly like you look

when you're annoyed with me.

- Excuse me. Sam Sutton asked for you.

He said it wasn't urgent, though.

- Yeah, I just saw him.

- No, he's asking for Dr. Wilson.

- Oh.

- Mm.

- That's it. That's the face.

Wait, why-- why are you annoyed with me?

- [sighs]

Don't you think it's a little inappropriate

to tell a patient that you're single?

- He asked, and he thought he was gonna die.

- He said you have Disney princess eyes.

- You think I don't?

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I appreciate the misplaced chivalry,

but do you remember how many times

I would get hit on at Jimmy's Crab Shack?

- [chuckles] - I think I can handle myself.

- Dr. Angle to the Psych Unit.

Dr Lea Engle to the Psych Unit.

- Ray, can we just stop and talk about this?

- Look, you said I didn't need the surgery right now.

- Right now and never are two very different things,

plus that was two months and three failed attempts

at surgery ago.

- Okay, well, I'm still alive,

so I'm good, great, fantastic, really.

- You have a weakened aorta, which supplies blood

to all of your major organs. If it bursts--

- I know, okay? You told me.

But those consent forms,

they say I could have renal failure

or heart problems or bleed out during surgery.

No, thanks.

- There is a less than 5% chance

of renal failure, bleeding out, or heart problems,

but there is a 10% chance

that your aneurysm will rupture at any moment,

and if that happens, your chances of survival

are worse than all of these numbers combined.

- Okay, just stop. Just stop.

I don't know about all the statistics,

but what I do know is that those consent forms

say I could die a dozen different ways

if I do the surgery.

I'm an illustrator.

I sit at a desk all day.

It doesn't require much exertion.

- At this point, it might not take much.

- I'll take my chances.

- Those chances would be so much better with surgery.

- You can't force me to do this.

[light dramatic music]

- Ray. - So we just let him go?

- He's a ticking time bomb. - Informed consent.

We can't force a patient to get a procedure.

His mom will work on him,

and hopefully he will come back.

All right, you two, go to the skills lab,

and I will page you if something comes up.

- Mm. Coming?

- Yeah, go ahead. I'll catch up.

♪

- Hey, you were looking for me. - I was.

I have a question about the-- the, uh, the plate

that you put in my arm, and--

okay, yeah, obviously, I don't really have a question.

I just wanted to see you so I could thank you.

- For what? - Saving my life.

- Okay, I know that post-op can be boring--

- It is. It is so boring.

I thought I could flirt with you

while we play a game of cards.

You'd be holding all the cards for real.

- Well, my day is anything but boring, so...

- Okay, okay, go cut people open.

I'll be here all week. We have time.

- Actually, I'm delivering twins.

I am both an OB-GYN and a general surgeon.

- You're pretty and multitalented.

We are a rare breed.

- Uh, so what do you do now that you're no longer military?

- Oh, I'm still a pilot, just not military.

- So flying hundreds of people through the air

wasn't terrifying enough.

You had to put on a shiny sleeping bag

and jump out of a plane.

- I'm actually a pretty simple guy.

- Yeah, because simple guys are always

jumping off of pyramids and rainforest cliffs, or--

- You stalked my social media.

- I wanted to know what wingsuiting was.

- [clears throat]

- Um, I have to get back to OB.

Is there anything else that you need?

- Not at the moment,

but I will keep your offer in mind.

- You realize that she meant medically?

- No, she didn't. - [sighs]

- Ray, hi.

Uh, can I have a minute. - Oh, my God.

Stop with the consent forms.

What, do you get a commission on the surgery or something?

- Uh, no, no, no commission. Just my notes.

I just want to talk. - Yeah.

You mean talk me into the surgery.

- No, no, no, talk about the surgery.

Okay, it's your decision. I just--

I won't be able to sleep

knowing I didn't do everything I could

to make sure you were informed. Let's just take a walk, okay?

You're leaving anyway, right? I could use some fresh air.

[sighs]

- Are you coming?

- Dr. Brooks to Oncology.

Dr. Brooks to Oncology.

- We got you one with a window. - Oh, how nice.

[together] Surprise!

- Norma, Lois!

- Welcome to your new room. - Did we scare you?

I didn't want to yell, but Norma made me.

- I'm fine. I loved it!

Come here, you two.

[laughter]

both: Mwah!

- I told them they could only stay for an hour.

You need to get your rest. - Oh, don't listen to Jules.

She's in doctor mode.

- Speaking of Jules, we brought your crochet bag.

- You know, my treble stitch is getting much better.

- Wow, nice, but that's a half double.

I can show you the treble this afternoon again.

- Oh, you see how she talks to me?

- She's an angel, if a doctor can be an angel,

like in that movie.

- Oh, we put your toiletries in the bathroom.

- Oh, thank heavens. My hair needs a good brushing.

- "Angel Doctor." - That's not a movie.

- Uh, "Doctor Angel." - That's not a movie either.

- Max. - I'm fine. I'm fine.

- Okay, okay. - Thanks.

- Oh, Doc.

- Her color's good. - How's her appetite?

- Uh, it's back. Her appetite--

- Ow! [loud thuds]

- Max. - [grunts]

- Oh, Max, are you okay?

- [gasps]

I--I--I don't know. Am I?

- Okay, all right.

Okay, just take deep breaths.

[dramatic music]

- Winston. - Hey.

- Will it be awkward for you seeing Maggie so soon?

- It'll definitely be awkward, yeah.

- But, uh, you're coming anyway.

- Very few Black men have been nominated for this award...

- [sighs] - So I'll be there.

- I'm proud of you, son.

- I'm proud of me too. [phone chimes]

Excuse me, a consult. - Okay.

[taps]

The Catherine Fox Award means something

to people around here.

You know, if Winston can rise and face Maggie,

I think you'll be able to handle seeing Meredith.

- Dr. Webber, I don't believe

in ranking medical contributions.

I just don't.

I also don't feel the need to go all the way to Boston

for some rubber chicken dinner.

Listen, I'm sorry, but it's a little presumptuous--

- Your absence would be an insult to this hospital,

your fellow nominees, and my wife

for who the award is named, so I suggest

you get off your moral high ground,

set aside your feelings about Boston,

do your job, and join us.

- Dr. Olivares to Labor and Delivery.

Dr. Olivares to Labor and Delivery.

- [sighs]

- Floor wasn't even slippery.

There weren't any obstacles.

I was just walking to the sink.

Ow. - What do you see, Millin?

- Uh, she has a fractured rib,

which explains her pain when she moves her upper body.

- What's the treatment for that?

- Rest. It should heal on its own.

- What about her head?

- The cut doesn't appear serious,

but I'd like to get a scan.

So let's get her up to CT and page Neuro.

- Maxine-- - I'm not up to visitors today.

I think you two better go.

- I'll be here, and I will call with any updates.

I promise.

[light dramatic music]

♪

- Left open comminuted humeral fracture,

right open femoral fracture...

- Do you always narrate your data input?

- Helps keep me accurate. What are you working on?

- I'm watching an old triple A surgery

while double checking the wedding spreadsheet

for the RSVPs.

- Oh, you know I'm coming, right?

- Never sent in a card.

- I live with you. It was assumed.

- Adams isn't coming.

- That is different, and you know it.

- You bringing a plus one? - [sighs]

- Did you even read the invitation?

- I was working two jobs.

It's this weekend, right, isn't it?

Why'd you move it up again? - Grandma's getting worse.

She's got maybe a good 90 minutes in the morning,

and that time is shrinking. - That's rough.

- You know what she remembers though?

Weddings, she loves them,

the colors, the flowers, the favors.

We actually have conversations about the wedding

that feel completely real.

- Hi. - Hi.

- I'm just gonna take a look around.

How's the new space? - Can't complain.

- Is everything okay? - I don't know, let me think.

You complained to Altman about a job

you haven't worked at for months.

You projected your own trauma onto my situation

resulting in half of the surgical chiefs

meeting about me. - I'm sorry.

I--how can I make it up to you? - I'll get over it.

I just need to be mad at you for a minute.

- Is that a literal minute or-- - Figurative.

- Right. [chuckles]

I'm just gonna...

- I always thought you two had chemistry.

- What, me and Helm? Why?

She hasn't made a move. - You could.

- I don't like rejection.

I once had very embarrassing, somewhat traumatic rejection

during a prom-posal go viral at my high school.

I don't make the first move anymore,

and it's worked out fine for me.

- Okay.

Who's your plus one again?

[quirky music]

♪

- So you're an illustrator, huh?

- Yeah, yeah, graphic novels.

I draw, and my friend Sunita writes the stories.

We're working on one right now about a kid

whose big brother is afraid to die before he turns 30,

so they're building a portal to a parallel universe

so that they could time jump and that he could turn 31

and then reenter the real world.

- Cool.

Also very specific. - [chuckles]

I had a really vivid dream when I was a kid.

Um, my grandpa who died before I was born

sat at the edge of my bed and told me

we'd be together for my 30th birthday.

[chuckles]

It scared the crap out of me,

so I've never smoked. I don't drink.

I stopped eating meat. Hell, I don't even drive.

I take public transit.

And maybe it's completely irrational,

but I always thought, if I could just make it

past 30 I'll be okay.

I need to stay alive for my mom,

and I'm helping with my sister's college tuition,

so I can't die.

I don't wanna die.

- I don't want that either.

Look, I'm not a professional like you,

but here is your aorta.

- Dr. Adams, look, I appreciate what you're trying to do.

- Look, the statistics freak you out,

so let's draw it.

Okay, so we'll access your aorta through your groin,

and then we'll thread a small wire

up through the abdominal aneurysm,

and then we'll deploy a graft,

which will expand to reinforce the weak area

and simulate an artery, which will allow blood

to flow through safely. - Is that a potato?

- That's a kidney. - With a Slinky?

- That's the graft. - [laughs]

Bruh, you suck at drawing.

- [chuckles] Fair.

But I promise

this procedure has been tested over and over,

and if a problem comes up like you mentioned,

we have ways to address it.

What we can't do is be with you if the aneurysm ruptures

while you're at home.

- Did you feel dizzy before you fell, Mrs. Anderson?

- I don't think so.

I just remember losing my balance

and stupidly hitting my head on the sink.

Maybe it's a sign.

- Loss of balance can be a symptom

of a variety of conditions.

- Or a sign that my time is up.

When the racehorse breaks its leg,

they usually put it down.

- Max, you're not a racehorse.

- No, not anymore.

- Oh, an active brain bleed in the subdural space.

We should prep for a decompression.

Kwan, book an OR. - On it.

- Uh, Dr. Shepherd, could I scrub in if that's okay?

- Uh, no, it's not.

You were on neuro this morning, and you traded with Kwan.

- I could trade back. - You will do no such thing.

- What is happening here?

- Ah, Millin just confirmed my suspicion

that she's too close to the patient

to be her doctor. - What? No, no.

I just--she's talking about being euthanized

like an animal.

- Look me in the eye and tell me

that you do not consider that woman family.

[light dramatic music]

Mm-hmm, you're off the case for good.

♪

- Dr. Altman. - Yes, yes.

We're all very excited. Thanks, Catherine.

You know, technically, Grey Sloan can claim

three Catherine Fox Award nominees

since Pierce performed her transplant here.

- That's great. About Ray--

- Yeah, I know it can be disappointing.

Sometimes patients just don't understand,

but there will be other triple As to repair.

- Yeah, but I still think we should do Ray's.

He signed the consent forms.

♪

- Page Griffith, and let's get him to radiology

before he bolts again. Well done.

♪

- Oh. - Seriously?

You're lucky the twins' mom is still dilating.

What is it? - I have an itch to scratch.

No, literally, it's-- help.

- This is what orderlies are for.

- I know.

I could've called somebody else,

but then you wouldn't be here.

- Don't move.

Okay. That?

- Oh, you are the best doctor I've ever had in my life.

- If you ask for a sponge bath, I'm leaving.

- You know, last time I had a cast,

they let me pick the colors.

- [laughs] How old were you?

- Seven. Fell off the monkey bars.

- You had a death wish even then, huh?

- I was so bummed.

My dad was taking me to my first pro ball game.

I had been practicing catching fly balls for three months.

Glove doesn't fit over the cast.

Can't catch anything.

But the first baseman saw me in the stands,

ran over, signed my cast.

I cried when they cut it off.

[quirky music]

- Well, you're, uh, lucky with all the dumb stuff you do

that you haven't had a cast since.

- Yeah, I have had half a dozen surgeries

and one metal plate, but yeah, no casts.

- [exhales] [phone chimes]

The twins. - Oh.

Gotta go. - Lucky bastards.

♪

[applause]

- Thank you. Thank you so much.

I'm--hey, I'm glad to be nominated.

[applause]

- Do you know how many codes I ran

to save lives in the ER last year?

Where's my award for that? - For doing your job?

- He was doing his.

- My research is helping to cure Parkinson's.

You don't see me nominated for anything.

- Listen to you two complaining about your lack of recognition.

- You're right.

- We're happy for him and Marsh.

- I mean, I oversaw

a simultaneous 12-person domino surgery

wherein six people got new kidneys.

You know, I used deactivated HIV

to save a boy with SCID.

I mean, I spearheaded changes in post-op protocols

to reduce post-op fistulas, basically curing the problem.

If anyone should ask, "Where's my award?"

it's me.

♪

- I was almost out of here. - You will be soon.

Dr. Shepherd has done a lot of these.

- You're drilling into my 81-year-old skull, right?

If it were only me, I'd tell you to put me

out of my misery and send me to the farm.

I talked to Norma about Jules.

I said she was an excellent roommate.

Not sure I can say the same about Norma.

That woman snores like a freight train.

- [laughs]

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

I know that Jules loves living with you.

- Mm.

Pete, my son, he went to college

right after my husband and I divorced.

I brought him up to be independent,

which was maybe my excuse for not being more involved.

By the way, it worked.

He graduated and moved to London.

I hardly ever see him anymore.

He doesn't need my homemade split pea soup

or my special herbal teas to ward off colds

or my hugs after a long day...

but Jules, she needs all of those things.

It seems she didn't have them when she was a child,

and now I get to give them to her.

- She's lucky to have you. - [chuckles]

I'm the lucky one.

[elevator dings]

[tender music]

♪

- What did you do to convince him?

- I drew a bad picture.

I thought he'd respond to a different approach.

- Chief, I just wanted to say thanks

for funding the intern skills practicum.

I appreciate it. - Of course.

And congrats, again, on the nomination.

- Sure, yeah.

- Oh, uh, Richard wanted me to ask you about the dinner--

- No, count me out on that.

- [groaning]

- Ray, what's wrong?

- My back, it really hurts.

Something's wrong.

- Damn it.

- Oh, my God, is that a-- - It's a rupture. Come on.

Code blue!

- Code blue, Radiology. Third floor.

- Call the blood bank. Activate an MTP.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

[Lxandra's "The Elephant"]

- ♪ Somehow

- I need a vascular setup. - I'll assist.

- Alert the OR! - There's no time.

I'm opening him up right now. - On the CT table?

- There's nowhere else. You heard Altman.

Let's go. Come on, let's go.

- Come on. Come on, Ray.

Betadine, let's go.

All right, I need suction setup.

Lap pad. Ten blade.

- ♪ What are you gonna do?

- Here we go. Stop compressions.

- ♪ Oh, can't hide the skeletons ♪

♪ Oh-oh

- More irrigation, please.

- ♪ This is hell out on the loose ♪

- Almost through.

We need to hang more blood.

- I need better visualization.

- Keep the compressions coming.

- ♪ From a shallow grave, every choice you made ♪

♪ Shaking the ground, ground, ground, ground ♪

♪

♪ Hold on

- Still no pulse. - Scissors.

♪

All right, got it. Clamp.

- ♪ Running out on you

♪ Do you feel it?

♪

♪ Can't cage the elephant

All right, more lap pads.

- ♪ Oh

♪ What are you gonna do?

♪

♪ Oh

♪ Can't hide the skeletons

♪ Oh

♪ This is hell out on the loose ♪

- Charge at 200.

All right, clear. Come on, come on, come on.

Charge again to 200. Clear.

[defibrillator humming and thudding]

Come on.

Damn it. Let me in there.

Come on. Come on.

- Altman. - He's 29 years old.

- I know. We did everything we could.

- Come on.

- ♪ This is hell out on the loose ♪

- Beautiful work, Dr. Shepherd.

- ♪ Can't hide the skeletons

♪ Oh

♪ This is hell out on the loose ♪

♪

- Time of death...

[heart monitor droning]

15:21.

[tense music]

♪

- Dr. Webber, hi. Exciting news this morning.

- Well, I wish everyone shared your enthusiasm.

- Well, you know who loves awards? Helm.

- Oh, she does, huh? - I don't know.

I'm just looking for a good segue.

- Ah. - How did things go with her?

- She said she'd think about it.

- Did she seem upbeat?

- Well, honestly, she was asking for things

we hadn't done before. - Were they unreasonable?

- Well, not terribly, I suppose, but--

- With all due respect, sir,

I don't see why this is a question.

This hospital is bursting at the seams with patients

and not enough doctors. Helm is a proven asset.

You know exactly what you're getting with her,

because you trained her.

You've worked with her long enough to know

her talent and her dedication, and frankly, sir,

we need more senior residents, so please, please,

just give her what she wants.

- Nurse Kingsbury to Five West

Nurse Kingsbury to Five West.

- Again, it ruptured, and we couldn't control the bleeding.

- [sobbing]

- I am very sorry, Mrs. Sanchez.

I...

the hospital will mail

your son's belongings to you in Tempe.

- Thank you, Doctor.

[phone beeps]

- Yeah, those calls are never easy.

Hey, you got him back to the hospital.

Adams, there's-- there's a thing with ADHD

where we feel the losses really deeply,

so you have to take equal time

to give yourself credit when you win.

You fought for him. Hey, hey.

You fought for him. That matters.

- He knew in his gut he was dying.

He knew he wasn't gonna see 30.

I knew in my gut that I was different.

There was something different about me my whole life.

I knew I wasn't just lazy, which is what they called me.

You know, I went down a rabbit hole online,

and I have pretty much every single symptom.

I mean, difficulty focusing,

time blindness, short attention span,

and my family is full of doctors.

It's not like ADHD is rare. You saw it.

Why didn't they?

- [sighs]

I--I think parents, sometimes they see their kids

through the lens of their own experience.

Your parents were overachievers,

so they expected you to be, and when you weren't,

they were so busy pushing and pushing you to live up

to your potential, they didn't think to look

for why you weren't

- Yeah, or maybe they were just too busy

being disappointed in me,

they didn't bother.

- [sighs]

You know, I hope you win the Catherine Fox Award.

- Why?

- I don't know, because I feel like a failure,

and I feel like I caught this too late,

and if you win, then--

- If I win, we aren't just losers?

Is that it?

- [chuckles] Yeah, something like that.

- You know, Adams, this award, it doesn't mean anything.

- If that's your acceptance speech,

it's gonna need work. - [laughs]

- How long does a delivery usually take?

A couple hours? - Like, from Postmates?

- Never mind. - Dude, you gotta take it easy.

Women don't love aggressive flirting,

at least not from men.

- You don't get anywhere if you don't ask.

You gotta at least ask. - False alarm.

- You paged her again? - Wasn't me.

- The twins do not want to come out.

- So you came back to get cheered up

by your favorite patient. - No.

I was making sure that Yasuda is checking...

- I am. - On--okay.

Here.

That sounds... - Weak.

- It does sound weak. Here.

[light dramatic music]

Take this. Ready?

♪

The flap's congested. - What does that mean?

- We moved muscle from the back of your leg

to the front to cover the bone. - The flap.

- Yes. Yasuda, what's happening?

- A hematoma, it's putting pressure

on the flap and cutting off the blood supply.

- Why do I feel like this is bad?

- It is bad, if the flap dies. - Is that gonna happen?

- Not if I decompress it. - Another surgery?

- We can do it right here if you consent.

- Do it. DO it.

- Yasuda, push additional morphine.

- I'm good. I have a high pain threshold.

Plus I kind of want to see this.

- Okay. Ready?

♪

- [groans]

- Okay, more gauze. - Yeah.

- Thank you. - Okay.

- [groans] - Just breathe.

♪

[knock at door]

- The decompression went well.

- I know those are a regift. I'm the one who brought them.

- I thought you'd want to keep these for Maxine

while she's in the ICU.

Or I could keep them by the nurses' station.

- No, leave 'em there.

- Well, hopefully, it won't be that long,

and you can both get out of here.

I know what it feels like

to sit by the side of someone you love

and worry they're not gonna make it.

I know that fear and anger and grief.

- It's okay. Professional distance and all.

- I'm just saying it's okay to have those feelings.

I'm here for you.

- I'm fine, Kwan.

I need to call Norma and Lois.

[light dramatic music]

- [sobbing]

♪

- I've done a lot of cool things,

but you just sliced into my leg like it was nothing.

- It's no swimming with sharks. - Oh, you went deep.

That post was from at least three years ago.

- Wow, I never thought I could be a third wheel

in a patient room. - What was that, Yasuda?

- Nothing.

- Dr. Wilson, OB called for you.

Cathy Han is headed into L&D.

- For real this time? - I don't know.

I don't work up there. - Okay.

- You just cut my leg open,

and now you're about to deliver twins?

You are my hero. Sign my cast.

- [sighs]

No tears when they remove it. - No promises.

- [laughs]

- See? You gotta at least ask.

- Richard. - Here you go.

- Marsh. - Yeah.

- I care about this program. - I do too.

- Not like I do.

It's my legacy, and I need to get it back to where it was,

and a nomination for our residency director

is a big deal.

- I was about to ask about a seat on the plane.

The residents, they need me to get over myself,

and apparently so do you, so yes,

I can put aside my feelings about...

Boston if there's still room on that plane.

[tender music]

- I think that can be arranged.

Good night. - Good night.

Meredith: When a patient codes or loses their airway,

a doctor's first priority is to get oxygen flowing.

♪

We have a limited time before damage sets in,

so we spring into action...

- Cheeseburger, no mayo, extra pickles,

and a side of fries. - I didn't order.

- Did you want something else? - No.

I've just never been a regular anywhere before.

- Yeah, well, don't get used to it,

because I just gave notice.

- You're coming back to the hospital?

- Yep. - Ah.

- And there's something I should tell you.

- Okay.

- Uh, as you know, resident wellness

is important to me. - Same.

- Uh, and I told Webber that if I came back

I wanted to be in a position to help with that,

you know, make sure people don't burn out,

that they have mentors, and so Webber agreed

to make me co-chief resident with you.

[upbeat bluesy rock music]

♪

[laughs] - That's the best news ever.

- Okay.

I'm so glad you think that. - Are you kidding?

It's way too much work for any one human to do,

plus it's you and me. - I know.

- Were you surprised when Webber agreed to it?

- Not nearly as much as when he agreed

to give me eight weeks' vacation.

- Eight weeks? - Yeah.

But don't worry, though.

I'll give you plenty of notice before I take it.

- Eight weeks.

Meredith: But in life, time limits aren't as clear.

- Do you want to go to a wedding?

- Do they need a bartender?

- Okay, I have to say something to you

that is not very comfortable for me to say...

which is that I like you, and I don't mean that

as a boss or a friend.

I like you like you, and if you're not interested,

that's okay.

I will simply walk away and possibly

never step foot in this bar again

due to my previously mentioned discomfort,

but at least I asked...

and if you are interested,

my roommate Simone is getting married,

and I know it's very last minute,

but there will be food and drinks,

and I think dancing.

I still haven't fully read the invitation,

but I... - Uh, Yasuda...

- I thought we could go together

on a date in case that wasn't clear.

Meredith: It can be hard to gauge

whether it's better to hurry up

or take things slow.

- Uh, Yasuda, I'm about to be your boss.

co-chief resident with Schmitt.

- Oh. It's inappropriate.

- But...

if the wedding is this weekend...

- It is.

- Then our date would predate my employment.

- It would.

[Joy Oladokun's "Sweet Symphony"]

- Okay. - Okay.

- Do you want a drink?

- Yep.

Meredith: We don't always know how much time we have

before the clock runs out on opportunity.

♪

- ♪ I get weak

♪ Whenever you're around

- Babies? - Babies.

- Yay. Fist bump.

- No. - [chuckles]

- Okay, well, your signal sounds good.

Is there anything else I can get for you?

- Another itch scratched, please.

- Where? - Back of my neck, right side.

- [sighs] Okay.

♪

- [chuckles] - Okay.

- Mm-hmm. - There?

You know, if being an OB and a surgeon doesn't pan out,

you could switch to this. - [chuckles]

- Oh, I was just coming to check on you,

but I guess you're covered. - This woman is my hero.

She cut my leg open like it was a piece of steak.

- I heard.

♪

Okay, I guess I'm gonna head out.

I'm gonna grab some food on the way home.

You want anything? - Oh, no, I'm fine.

- Wait, you two live together?

- We do. - We're roommates.

Okay, I'll see you later.

- ♪ Dungeons and ivory towers ♪

- Let's see here. - So twins, huh?

- Mm-hmm. - Identical?

- Identical. - Oh.

- I know.

- ♪ But as long as we keep every promise ♪

Meredith: Often we can't even be sure

if our time has passed...

♪

- ♪ I know

♪ There'll be heavy days

- Is Yasuda home? - Joe's.

To eat, not work. - Huh.

- I'm so sorry about Ray. - Yeah, yeah, me too.

♪

- So... - Oh, you can...

You can--you can have one.

There is plenty.

- ♪ Sweet symphony

- So there's this thing with ADHD,

which I'm figuring out I probably have,

but there's this thing, this symptom

where you get stuck in your head, you overthink,

you have a hard time saying what you mean,

because you can't help but think about

all the possible ramifications, and so...

♪

Don't get married. - Lucas.

- Maybe--maybe I'm too late, or maybe I lost my chance.

But I wouldn't be able to live with myself

if I didn't tell you while you still had time

to change your mind.

Trey doesn't see you,

or maybe he sees an old version of you,

but I see you.

Simone, I see you...

and I love every single thing I see.

- ♪ Even if the world

♪ That we built falls at our feet ♪

♪ We're still right where we're supposed to be ♪

♪ Together through ups and the downs ♪

Meredith: And all we can do is seize the present.

- ♪ Dungeons and ivory towers ♪