Original subtitles

Ohh.

Would you Excuse me For one second?

Of course.

Darlin', I don't Mean to pry, but...

Would you mind Telling me

Just what the hell it is You're doing down there?

It depends. Would you Mind telling me

What that girl's hand Is doing knee-deep On your lap?

Excuse me?

You heard me. Or perhaps You'd like me to involve The entire table,

'cause I'm sure her date Would at least be Marginally interested.

Ok, great. You've made your point.

Which is what, exactly?

Pacey... I want to go home. Now.

I'm tired, I'm cranky,

And I know You didn't read The fine print

In our little Rent-a-day contract,

But it expires In exactly 35 minutes,

So maybe you could just Skip the subtleties and Get her phone number?

Ok, sis. Hold it down. It'll be fine.

She thinks I'm your sister?!

Oh, will you Look at that?

Oh!

Did I not mention to you

What a wonderful networking Opportunity this was for me?

Yes. That's how you Suckered me into coming In the first place,

But you know what? We've networked, We've schmoozed,

And unless You take me home now, As in right now,

I think little Miss thing over there

Isn't going to be So interested when She sees your sister

Lean over the table And give you the tongue Kissing of your life.

5 minutes. We'll leave in 5 minutes.

Thank you.

Great. Well, Everything seems to be Fine down there.

Sisters. You know?

Yeah, and the guy I'm with Is really my brother.

He is?

No.

Oh. Right.

Well, look, I don't want To beat around the bush.

You seem like a nice guy.

So then you wouldn't Mind if I called you?

Sure. You could call me, I could call you,

Or I could ditch my date, And you could ditch Your...Sister.

And we could meet Back here in an hour And go to my place.

Look, if you don't Want to do this,

I mean, if you're Really with that girl...

That girl?

The one that's Under the ta--

Oh, that girl. That girl.

Oh...No. No, no, no.

I am most definitely Not with that girl.

So...It's a date?

Yes.

I'll see you back here In an hour.

Finally. I got my shoe.

It was all the way Across the table.

Was it really? Great. Then problem solved, Whatever the problem was.

We should probably Be going. Ok?

Wait, pacey. Let me get my shoe. Come on, cinderella.

You have a hot date Or something?

No, but A beautiful woman Did just offer

To have sex with me, No strings attached.

You're so cute When you're delusional.

Pace...I just have One question.

Shoot.

What the hell is happening To my butt right now?

That'll be The seat warmer,

Which comes standard On all your finer German automobiles.

Huh. My lower half Thanks you

For moving so far Up the socio-economic Ladder.

Pacey, wasn't that turn We just sped past

The way out of these Godforsaken suburbs?

Yes, it was, but you and I are gonna be makin' A little pit stop.

Pit stop? Oh, no. Perhaps I didn't Impress upon you

The importance Of me being home, in bed,

And out of these Ridiculous clothes As soon as possible.

I have An entire book to read Before hetson's class.

Ok, simmer down. This is gonna delay you, Like, 2 minutes.

What do you need, Anyway?

Need?

Yeah. The reason For the pit stop?

The thing You can't live without Until tomorrow morning?

Uh, laundry detergent.

Laundry detergent?

Yes. Laundry detergent.

Pacey, in the entire time I've known you,

I don't think you've Ever once done laundry.

Uh, you don't Have to come with me. You can wait in the car.

You're seriously Expecting me To wait out here

While you're traipsing Around the world's Largest superstore?

Right. Wrong!

It's cold, it's scary, And if you must know,

I have to use The bathroom.

How could you Possibly have to go To the bathroom?

2 minutes ago, You didn't even Want to stop.

Do you want To argue about this, Or shall we continue

The 10-mile trek To the front of the store?

Why did we have to park So far away, anyway?

I just spent 2 1/2 months' salary

Gettin' dawson's house Scraped off her front end.

You think I want to leave her In the hands of those fine, Upstanding citizens? Nooo.

Great.

It's closed.

It can't be closed. There's still people inside.

Good night, now, Folks. Drive safe.

Hey!

What the hell Are you lamebrains Doin' out there?!

The monte carlo!

Watch the monte carlo!

Oh. I'm gonna go--

I know where You're goin'.

Um...We're gonna Be closing soon?

Ok.

Very nice.

There you are. Come on. Let's--

Uh--I--could you Just hold on For one second?

No. I need you. Need me...For what?

You can't go To the toilet By yourself?

Yes. That's exactly it. What?

Ok. C-can you Just wait-- No. I can't.

And why weren't you At the laundry?

Ok. Let's go.

Thank you.

You're welcome. You just have to ask The right way.

You know? You're so bossy.

Is your sense Of adventure Really so lacking

You could not have Used this washroom Unattended?

Pacey, the outer door Doesn't lock.

Somebody could've Walked in at any point.

So? So...

Stall-to-stallchatting with strange men

In public washrooms Isn't really

A life experience I need to have, Thank you.

Who is going To walk in?

There's nobody here.

And the whole store's Gonna close In 5 minutes anyhow.

Oh, my god. They're still here. Yell. Yell. Yell.

Hey!

Mister! Mister!

Hey! Hello! Help!

This isn't happening. Tell me this isn't Happening.

It's ok. He's Gonna see the car.

Pacey, we're parked In, like, Another zip code.

All right, if we want To start pointing fingers,

We should probably point them At the bladder that got us Into this situation.

He's leaving. I can see that, Thanks.

Look. He's getting In his car,

And he's leaving Us here trapped.

Ok.

Let's not panic.

Who's panicking?

I'm panicking, pacey. This isn't exactly

Where I want To be right now. I have an en--

"I've got a book To read." I know.

When don't you Have an entire book To read?

And just so you know, This is not exactly

My ideal situation, Either.

Well, look, let's not snipe At each other anymore.

Ok. You know what?

We need to think Logically.

Right. Well... This one's locked.

Hey. Hey, any luck?

They're not Real phones.

What do you mean, They're not real phones?

Clean up on aisle 4.

They're just intercoms.

We can call housewares,

But we can't communicate With the outside world.

Please tell me you found Some kind of a back door Or something.

No. Not one That we can open, But I was thinkin',

There's always Your ever-present Cell phone.

In my purse. Great.

In the car.

Hmm.

Pay phones!

I think they're-- Yeah.

No, officer. Not...Stuck, Like, in the snow,

Stuck, As in locked in.

No. Nobody's life Is in danger.

But please don't Put me back on hold--

Ok, fine. That's it.

Just hang up. We'll call 911.

We can't call 911.

Why not? We're stuck, Aren't we?

Pacey, we're stuck In a giant barnlike Structure

With massive quantities Of food, clothing,

And all the latest In home video equipment.

How does that qualify As an emergency? I mean,

Are we in some sort Of a danger I'm unaware of?

Yes. We're in danger Of getting you Home late,

And we can't have that, Now, can we?

Since when do you care?

About what?

Getting me home On time?

Since...Forever. I don't want you to be Lax in your studies.

There's important Homework to be done, Books to be read.

What book is it You're reading?

fear and loathing In las vegas.

fear and loathing?

You're paying $35,000 A year to be told

To read fear and loathing In las vegas?

You could do that On your own time.

I could do that On my own time. Shut up.

Something's happening. It's ringing.

Ok. Good. I'll have you home In no time.

Or we'll rot here.

It transferred me To some sort of Automated response system.

"Press one to file A complaint about noise.

Press 2 For traffic violations."

Here. you listen.

Can I have your coat? I'm freezing. It's freezing in here.

My coat? What's wrong With your coat?

Mine just looks nice. It wasn't intended To keep anyone warm,

Especially not Someone wearing only A thin layer of silk.

Ok, fine. Hold this For a second.

Better?

Thank you.

I think you should Press zero,

See if we can get A real person Back on the line.

You don't have Any gloves, do you?

No, I didn't br--hello! Yes. Look, we're stuck

In a gigantic kmart.

Yes, as a matter of fact, You did talk to us earlier.

Uh, hello? No, Please don't put me Back on...Hold.

God!

What?

Are these yours?

Those?

Yeah. These...Prophylactics I found in your pocket.

Oh. Those. Uh, yeah. Actually, they are.

But, look, we should Probably concentrate

On the matter At hand here.

This is why We stopped?

Pacey, we're Stuck in here

Because you had Some pressing need For birth control?

Yes. Ok? Because that's The kind of responsible Guy I am.

But seeing as it doesn't Look like we're gonna get Outta here anytime too soon,

It's kind of a moot point, So if--uh, hello?

Hello. Hello. Yes. Hello.

Ok. No. No, that's fine. If you could just Please make sure

That they do Actually call us back.

The number Is 617-555-0189. Thanks for--

Ok. Well, at least Now we're makin' Progress.

What? What's The look for?

It's that girl From the party, Right?

You were On a date with me, And you picked up

Some other girl With questionable Fashion sense,

And then you were gonna Go back to her place-- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Slow down. You and I were Not on a date.

Which is only The first of many things Wrong with that sentence.

Pacey, my entire night Is ruined.

Well, my night's Not exactly going To plan, either.

Ruined! For the sake Of some booty call?

Ok, let's...Just... Take a little time out, Because you and I...

We're not Actually having This conversation.

Oh, why? 'cause You don't want to talk About sex with me?

Ha! Do you want to talk About sex with me?

Well, no, but...

I usually don't want To talk about sex With anybody.

Thank you for Proving my point. Now, If we could move on,

I think our night Will be much, Much more pleasant.

After you tell me Why you don't want To talk about sex with me.

All right, one would think This would be obvious,

But fine. Perhaps It has something to do With how calm

And cool and Non-judgmental you are About the whole thing.

Oh, you know what? I don't approve.

Ok? There. I said it.

And I refuse To sit here and Pretend like this

Is all just fine, 'cause it's ridiculous.

Do you hear yourself? You can't help it!

This is why We don't talk About sex.

It's actually The secret to our Entire friendship.

You've lost me In your sea of pronouns.

Well, ok. We are friends. Right?

Yes.

So what is the secret

To our long-lasting And angst-free Friendship?

What is the one thing That keeps it going

Year after year After year after year?

We suck at meeting New people. Wrong.

We do not, Under any circumstance,

Talk about sex. I may be having it,

You may be thinking About having it, but We don't discuss it.

That way we avoid The awkwardness, and

In avoiding the awkwardness, We are able to maintain Our friendship.

You see, it's A preventative measure.

I solved the problem Before it even starts.

But, pacey...If we're Such good friends,

Why is there Any awkwardness In the first place?

Because not too long ago, We were more than just Good friends, now, weren't we?

Yeah, but We're not anymore.

But that doesn't matter. The damage is already done.

What, so as far As you're concerned,

I slept with you, and Then I took myself in And got revirginized?

In my mind? Yes.

Oh, so I never slept With eddie or dawson--

Oh, I told you, I don't want to hear About this.

Ok, so basically What you're saying

Is that the only way You and I can continue Being friends

Is if we lie To each other About our sex lives...

If we take that Whole giant aspect Of our lives and just...

Pretend like It doesn't exist?

Worked for you and dawson.

What?!

What did you say?

I said it-- I heard what you said.

I just can't quite Believe my ears.

Well, is there anything Essentially untrue About that statement?

N--

No. No. Then

What's the problem?

Pacey, did it Ever occur to you

That maybe I don't want To live my life This way...

That maybe I have grown up?

Have you.

What is that Supposed to mean?

It means, simply put, That you don't care Who I sleep with.

I could've had sex With that woman

On the table Right next to you,

And you wouldn't Have even batted An eyelash.

Pacey...You slept With my roommate For an entire year.

I think it's a little late For me to start to get...

Skittish on the topic Of you and other women.

Don't make me Spell this out.

Do you really not understand What I'm talking about?

No. I don't. I really don't. I mean, do you?

Because I'm A bit confused here. I mean...

Are you upset Because...I'm upset?

Are you upset That...I'm not upset?

Are you upset that I'm not upset enough?

I me--

Pacey, We broke up...

Moved on.

Was I supposed To spend the rest Of my life

Feeling miserable About the way things Ended between us?

Ok. Well, you know what? Now that you brought it up, Yes.

A couple of months here, There, really wouldn't Have hurt.

I mean, I'm not asking For the lifetime you've devoted To feeling bad about dawson,

But just a couple Of weeks. Unbelievable!

Pacey!

I can never win, Can I? I guess I can't.

It's kind of like taking My head and beating it Up against a rock.

I mean, who had More sex? Who was With who longer?

Isn't there some Sort of boy calculus You can use

To figure out who won And just leave me Out of it?

Right, 'cause god forbid I might just be talking About you and me right now.

There is no "You and me," pacey.

We've moved on, And I'm sorry

I didn't dash myself Into a thousand pieces

When you broke up With me, But you know what?

Life goes on, No matter How ungratifying

That may be For your male ego.

This is not About my ego.

No?

Really. Then What is it about?

I mean, why would you Want to go back there?

Why would you want to go Back down that long road That only ends

With you and I ar-- I know where this road ends.

Then what good Can come of it?

Tell me. I mean, Why do you, All of a sudden,

Want to revisit... Something that Is better left...

Well, are you Gonna answer that,

Or are we Gonna finish this?

We could live For a thousand years,

And we would Never finish this.

Hello?

Well, yes. Obviously, We're still here.

No, no. We don't have Anyplace to go, Now, do we?

Well, yes, officer, I realize that We're probably

Fairly low On your priority list, But--

Well, no, I wasn't aware Of the freezing rain.

I'm sure that does cause Quite a few accidents.

Ok. Well, we'll continue To sit tight here.

If you could just send Someone out as soon As possible,

That'd be great.

Thank you. You, too.

Joey potter, you're needed In electronics.

Joey potter To electronics, please.

Is this thing on?

Ok, well...Ahem.

Hey...It's me... Obviously.

So if you could Just step A little closer,

And don't worry, I'm not gonna bite. I come in peace.

Look...You and I...

We're gonna be here For a while.

For quite a while, It seems.

So I think It would be best

If we could come To some sort Of truce.

And to facilitate This truce, I'm Willing to admit

To you on camera That, yes, indeed, I am an ass,

Which you probably Already know.

Better than most people.

And perhaps better Than anyone on earth.

But I digress.

That we leave the past In the past, which is Where it belongs anyway,

That we try and make The best out of This bad situation,

And that We get comfortable.

To wit--I bought You something.

Well, I didn't really Buy you something.

Perhaps procured Would be a better word,

But...Anyway, You get my point.

It's down there On the counter. I'm not so sure

About the sizes anymore, 'cause it's been A while, but...

We can always Exchange it.

And, if you accept My proposal,

You will have At your disposal

For a limited time only The ability to make me Do one thing

I really do not Want to do.

Which is not to say That you don't always Have that ability,

But I kinda figure that That's how this whole Night from hell started.

You were doing Something for me

That you really Didn't want to do...

Which is What friends are for.

Ok. Over and out.

I know what I want.

Shouldn't I be getting you Out of those clothes? Later.

Well, would you mind Telling me where it is-- Later.

I thought you said Those shoes were Killin' you.

You're kidding, right?

You said "One thing," Pacey.

No, I said "One thing That would help you."

How does changing My physical appearance Help you?

Believe me, if I Don't have to look

At that thing On your face Anymore,

I will consider Myself helped.

Here.

You're really gonna Make me do this.

Yeah.

Hmm.

After all we've Been through together.

So this is what It comes down to, Does it?

Ok. But I want you To know one thing.

I'm not gonna go down Without a fight.

Please. Aah! Pacey!

Pacey.

Pacey!

Pacey?

Pacey!

You're only delaying The inevitable.

Oh--

You know, you're Only making it Worse for yourself.

Much worse.

When I catch you, Who knows what Other body parts

I'll require you To shave.

Pacey.

Ow! I think I ran Into an auto display Case or something!

Oh...H-help me.

I think I'm bleeding.

Aisle 3-b!

Bring band-aids!

I wouldn't make

Ohh! Any sudden movements If I were you.

You wouldn't dare. I would.

I don't particularly Like that suit You're wearing.

How much did it cost, $5, $600?

Move it.

Uh-huh... Back it up.

Hey. I told you To wait for me.

I am.

Ok.

Go.

All right, this Is your last chance

To change your mind About this.

Pacey. It's a beard. It'll grow back. Not that it should.

What's the big deal, Anyway?

Well, you know How ballplayers

Don't change their socks During a winning streak?

No.

Ok, well, they don't

Because they respect The streak.

And you Perceive yourself

As being on some sort Of winning streak.

Yes. Caused by that thing On your face.

Yes.

Fine. I give up.

You give up?

You're giving up That easily.

Yeah. If it means That much to you, Pacey.

I mean, I have No desire to monkey

With some centuries-old Sports tradition.

I wouldn't want you To lose the...

Triple crown Or whatever.

I just wanted to see Your face again.

Is that a crime?

No.

So that's it... End of story. It's just that easy.

Yeah. But you are Gonna have to change Your socks.

I said b-3.

Ok, fine. You sunk My battleship.

I officially suck At this game.

Well, we can't all Be master strategists, Now, can we?

So, what's next? Operation? Risk? What do you want?

What?

Can I ask you A question?

Yeah. Fire away.

Are you happy?

Me?

Yeah. I mean Really happy,

Not superficially, We-all-have- Our-health happy.

Why? Are you?

Mmm...

Yeah. I think I am.

Which is weird, Because it's not Like there's anything

All that spectacular Going on in my life Right now.

It's just that...

I don't know. I guess I feel different.

Like...I've always Had this tendency

To assume that change, When it happens,

Can only be For the worse. You know?

And lately, I kinda feel Like that's not true...

Like whatever's waiting For me out there...

May not be that bad.

And even if it is...

Then not knowing About it...

Might actually be The good part.

Mmm...I don't know.

I don't know That I'm making Any sense.

It sounds like what You're tryin' to say...

Is that you really Like that guy.

"That guy"?

Yeah. That eddie guy.

Yeah.

I did.

But...The past...

As they say, Is the past.

And that still Doesn't change the fact

That you never Answered my question.

I don't Really have to. I mean,

How could I not Be happy? You've seen My car, right?

Pacey!

Real answer, Please.

Real answer?

Ok, fine.

The real answer is this.

I currently have In my life

Everything that I could Possibly want.

Except one thing.

And what's that?

Nachos?

Please tell me You're really not Gonna eat that.

Well, you nixed My whole build- Your-own-sundae idea.

Well, yeah, it's A little too cold For ice cream.

It is never too cold For ice cream.

Pacey, why do you always Seem to be eating

During key moments Of our relationship?

I don't know. Is this a key moment In our relationship?

Well, it would've been If you would've let me

Get rid of that thing Off your face.

Is this what you consider Letting it die?

What? We've already Established that the theme For the evening

Is picking at old scabs.

Can I have more, Please?

Less ice this time.

Less ice.

You know... I think I actually missed

My true calling in life.

Jerk?

Mm-hmm.

I meant soda.

I know what you meant. It just really wasn't All that funny.

So...Can I get you Anything else?

A little cotton candy? Uhh!

Gross.

You want a pretzel? No.

I think those Were probably made

When I was a virgin.

Oh, yeah. The good old days.

But you're right. We should stop.

We don't want to fill up On starches before we go Raid the candy aisle.

Pacey, we can't eat candy This late at night.

We'll rot our teeth.

So then we'll brush them.

And if we're Feelin' crazy, We can floss.

'cause you see, That's the great thing about Bein' locked in a kmart.

You can do anything In a kmart. You can fill up On sugary snacks.

You can catch up On your dental hygiene.

In fact, I'm startin' To like this idea so much, I may never leave.

Oh, my god.

Homework. Come on.

Wait. Bring popcorn.

I thought this was Supposed to be about The american dream.

What could be More american

Than bitter invective, Rampant paranoia, and Gas-guzzling caddies?

So, what am I supposed To say tomorrow when hetson Puts me on the spot?

Throw the words "Post modernist" And "Subjectivity"

Into the same sentence. You'll be fine.

I'm beginning to see Why you're so good At your job.

Oh, yeah? Why is that?

'cause you're so full of-- Uh!

Now, that's Not called for.

We don't make fun Of my source Of income.

Come on. Let's go.

Why?

'cause I'm gettin' bored

With all this Sittin' around. Let's Do somethin' active. No.

No? It's my turn To choose, isn't it?

We've discussed this already. There will be no bikes,

No rollerblading, and no You shooting hockey pucks At my head.

Oh, now, come on. Those weren't Real hockey pucks.

Those were little Plastic indoor ones.

Pacey, I think The goal of the evening

Should be to avoid Head injuries.

Ok, fine.

I still got Somethin' for us To do.

I promise you This is not Going to hurt.

Now, how could You possibly make A promise like that

About what it is We're about to do,

Seeing as you've Never done it before?

Just because I've never Done it before doesn't mean I'm not gonna be good at it.

I was good at sex, wasn't I?

Sorry. Forget that. Sore subject.

Anyway...You know,

If you're so worried About potential Blood loss,

You could always Do it yourself, You know.

Well, I think I've already displayed The fact that I just--

I lack the iron will Necessary to do this.

Good.

Rrr!

Ok.

Now...

The important thing To remember Is not to move.

And no talking.

Whooh.

Last chance to bail.

Well, it's kinda hard To tell you

I want to bail If I'm not allowed To talk, isn't it?

Oh. Well, Blink twice Or something.

That's no kind Of solution.

That presupposes That I'm gonna stop Blinking.

Who stops blinking? Really, that's-- Ok.

Shut up.

Unhh!

Regular... Or menthol?

Are we smoking, Or are we shaving?

Pacey witter-- Friend to women.

I think it's better To go with sensitive Skin.

Ok...

Mmm...

It's ok. Don't be shy.

Mmm.

Ok...

Mmm, mmm, Mmm, mmm. Ahem.

Ok.

This is harder Than legs.

Although not Dissimilar

Mhhh! To knees.

Sorry.

There.

Hello, chin.

You're back.

Well...I was Never really gone.

You weren't?

Mm-mmm.

It kinda seemed Like it.

What was that?

I don't know.

But...You remember How you said

You were willing To be surprised By the future?

Yeah.

Surprise.

How come you Don't seem surprised?

Well...Maybe Because I've...

Wanted to kiss you Ever since I saw you In that outfit.

No. Um...

Not that outfit. The one...

Uh...The prev-- Well, I mean, not--

Wait, wait, wait.

You were wanting To kiss me all night?

Yes.

Even when you Were yelling at me.

Especially when I was yelling at you.

Even when You were flirting With that other girl?

Yeah. Then, too.

So...

Is this... Some sort of...

Recent new development In your life?

Wanting to kiss you?

No. It's sort of Always there...

Like...White noise, Or...

The secret service, Or the threat Of nuclear war,

For that matter. Just somethin' You get used to.

And that... Doesn't at all Freak you out.

Well, yes and no.

Which one, pace?

Hmm.

Yes.

Explain.

I don't know that I can.

Try.

Ok.

Well...

It would be fair to say That I haven't been feeling

All that friendly Toward you lately.

You've been feeling more than friendly.

Yes.

And the only way You could express that

Was to pick A fight with me.

I suppose The answer to that Would...Also be yes.

Why is that, exactly?

I do not know.

You must know Something.

What I know Is that...

You and I were One of the few things,

Perhaps the only thing...

That ever made Total and complete sense

In my life.

That's what I know.

You know, we fought Constantly.

Oh, don't I know it.

And there are reasons Why you and I Didn't work.

I mean, valid reasons. A-and...It...

My life is finally-- Right where you want it.

I know. It's crazy, Isn't it?

Pacey, I don't know What to say.

Um...

I'm flattered. I'm...

Confused. I'm stunned.

Are you wishing I hadn't said anything?

No.

I just need to... Can I just Sleep on this?

Yeah. I think That can be arranged.

Hey, pace, did you--

Put all the stuff back? Yeah. Though some of it We're gonna have to pay for,

Like the clothes.

Pacey, did you--

If the next words Out of your mouth

Are "Take out the trash," I will officially Have a preview

Of what it'd be like To be married to you.

And?

It ain't pretty.

I was going to say...

Is...

Did you know?

Did I know what?

This was A dream come true?

Which part?

All of it.

When you and I Were on the boat...

I used to dream That we'd be cast away Somewhere.

You know, your... Standard tropical island

With the white Sand beaches and...

Giant stars overhead.

We'd wear no clothes,

And we'd...Splash In the surf all day.

And then at night...

The moon would be This...

Well, This giant thing.

And it was Always full.

I like this fantasy.

I'd catch fish With my bare hands...

Make fire Without matches.

I'd make the fires.

Who paid attention In science class?

Ok. Good point.

Besides... It's my fantasy.

And I guess I... Never told you About it before

Because it's...

Embarrassing. You know?

I mean... Not at all original.

Well, I guess you were Right about one thing.

What's that?

There are about A thousand reasons

Why you and I Would never work.

There's one thing In the pro column.

What's that?

Doesn't mean what You think it means.

Well, then what Does it mean?

Well... It means that...

Well, I'm cold.

Oh.

And...

I'm still thinking About it...

And I miss you, Pace.

I miss you, too.

Mmm...

Dude...

This is totally... Uncool.

Um...

Joey? Ahem!

5 more minutes.

No, no. No.

I think now Would be a good time.

Why?

Like...I mean...

You're allowed...

To, like, Test things...

And stuff...

But the manager Is gonna be...

Like, his mind Is gonna be blown.

This--no need to call The manager,

'cause, you know, We were just About to leave.

Hey.

So, is this... Like, your girlfriend?

No.

We just sleep together From time to time.

Do you have A problem with that?

Very nice.

So, this is it.

Yes, it is.

There were No security tags On these?

Oh. No. You should Probably look into that.

And this.

A dvd that's... Opened.

Oh. And, uh... This, too.

And a razor That's...Opened.

Ok, and your total Is 98.15.

I can pay you back. My purse is--

I got it.

Seems a small price to pay

For a dream come true.

I certainly hope You found everything

You were looking for Today.

Well...Not everything, But we found what we needed,

Which, as I'm sure you know, Is sometimes just as important.

In a spiritual sense. 'cause, you know, If you found

Everything that You needed today, What would be the point

Of waking up tomorrow And doing it All over again?

It just wouldn't Seem worth it.

Don't worry. He's on a one-day pass From the asylum.

But...In all fairness, I should let you know

That I will be writing a letter To the home office about this.

You will? Yeah.

Because this store...

Is perfect Just the way it is.

Don't change a thing.

Thank you.

Home? Home.

You know, you could Offer to carry One of these things.

Sure.

And you are Letting me drive. Right?

Drive? My car?

Ha ha! Do I appear to have Lost consciousness?

Because that's The only circumstances

Under which You would be Driving my car.

You wouldn't Have this problem

If you hadn't Taught me how to drive In the first place.

But you see, I don't have A problem, because--

We'll see.