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Downloaded from YTS.MX

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[indistinct radio chatter]

[Sports Dogg on radio] Joe in Piscataway, now you know why

your wife doesn't talk to you anymore.

Let's go to Nick in Valley Stream.

He just got done shopping at the mall.

[man 2] Hey, what's goin' on, Sports Dogg?

Hey, man, those Giants are lookin' good this week.

They tore those Vikings up.

[continues indistinctly]

Jacobson looking good.

He had all day in the pocket, man.

[man] You know what the key to that game was?

It was simple. They shut down Adrian Peterson.

QB was all over the field making tackles.

They couldn't get their running game going.

And the minute they didn't have the running game,

Frerotte was doomed.

Nobody's passing against the G-Men defense these days.

They're on fire...

[Paul] I can't tell you how sick I am.

[Sports Dogg] Manning's not turning the ball over.

He's doin' everything right. He's managing the game.

And defensively, if you can get past that front four,

then good luck getting past Bishop...

[Paul] I can't tell you how sick I am.

[man 2] Eli's on the money.

Third and 20, he throws that screen pass,

gave the first down to Ward. Unbelievable.

They are not missing a beat.

Nobody's got an offense like them.

They just keep on going.

That defense-- That defensive line,

and those linebackers are doing great.

Now going from greatness to the total opposite,

the Knicks.

What's with this team?

We're gonna have to drag out another two years of misery

till they finally decide

they wanna get LeBron James?

This is ridiculous what they're doing with this team.

Who wants to go see a Knick game? They're horrible.

The team is a joke.

I mean, we live in New York.

This is the kind of basketball...

It's five dollars.

I was just in there for, like, five minutes.

I know. It--it's five dollars, anything up to two hours.

[Sports Dogg] He's got a guy on the bench, Marbury.

They paid him 22 million dollars not to play.

Yeah, have fun in your box.

[man 2] It's ridiculous. This is a comedy.

I can't even watch them, they're so bad.

[Sports Dogg] Steve in Bayside, venting his spleen!

Dick.

Let's go to line three, Philadelphia Phil.

What's happening down there, brother?

[Phil] Are you freakin' kidding me?

You can't stop the run, your secondary's a bunch of rookies,

and you're 23rd in the league in red-zone offense.

You may be nine and two,

but you're a weak, vulnerable nine and two.

All right? Take away that fluke win in Dallas

and the Buffalo blizzard game, and you're seven and four,

exact same record as us, my friend. All right?

Man, I cannot wait till Sunday, when finally,

finally, your weaknesses are gonna be exposed

for all the world to see. Right?

It's Judgment Day for the Giants, baby,

courtesy of Gang Green.

You're going down. Yo, I'm out, Sports Dogg.

[Sports Dogg] Philadelphia Phil, always a pleasure.

[man on radio] ...this Sunday.

And that's it from the Meadowlands.

Ed Rosen on the Giants beat, 760,The Zone .

[man 2] Get your rabies shots.

Here comes The Dogg,

on Sports Radio, 760, New York.

[Sports Dogg] I can't even believe

how this Pittsburgh team owns the Rangers.

In the playoffs last year, last night,

Crosby's doing his thing.

Mulligan, it's like he's skating around.

No one can stop him.

They don't play defense, the Rangers.

-[muttering indistinctly] -Their penalty killing is dead.

They got no power play.

And Lundqvist only plays well on the--

-[man on phone] Paul. -Yo, hey.

-You're up third. -Okay. Thanks, Lar.

[man on radio] Go, Giants. Go, Eli!

[Sports Dogg] Jeff in Clifton, NJ, baby!

Let's go to my boy Paul in Staten Island.

He always brings the leverage. What's on your mind, brother?

Hey, Sports Dogg! How ya doin'?

I'm just calling to say I can't wait for this Sunday

when we finally shut these Philly clowns up,

once and for all.

I can't tell you how sick I am

of Philadelphia Phil

and all these cheese-steak bozos

goin' on about "Brian Westbrook this,"

and how we can't stop their passing game!?

Are--? Are you joking?

You put--you put the tiniest bit of pressure on McNabb,

that guy crumbles like a cookie.

[Paul] Now, you guys may have put some points up

against the 'skins last week, and that's fine,

but the G-Men are a whole different story, my friend.

You think you're gonna throw 388 yards

with Quantrell Bishop in your face all day long?

It's not easy hitting a receive--

[woman] Paul.

[quietly] It's not easy hitting the receiver

laid out on your back.

So listen up, Philadelphia Phil,

and all the rest of you brotherly love jabronis

-who've been-- -It's the middle of the night!

Who've been talking smack all week on this show,

get out your forks because you're gonna be

eating your words, big-time!

[Sports Dogg] I love his passion. Thanks, Paul.

Thanks, Sports Dogg. You're the man.

Do you mind?

[woman] Yes, I do. I'm trying to sleep.

Hey, I'm-- I'm off. Okay?

[woman] You try sleeping with that racket.

I'm off.

[woman] All night with the calls.

Go to bed, Mom.

[woman] What kind of thing is that for a grown man?

I'm quiet.

[woman] That's quiet by you?

Yakking away like some kind of--

[yelling] I'm quiet!

I'm quiet, I'm quiet, I'm quiet!

Dude, you were on fire.

[Paul] Ah...

I feel like it needed to be said.

[Sal] The part about how they should get out their forks

'cause they're gonna be eating their words?

That's fuckin' beautiful.

Yeah. I guess I just have a gift.

I wish I could do that.

Do it.

I'd be too nervous.

[Paul] It's easy.

[Sal] For you.

So, what time you wanna go tomorrow?

Uh, I'll pick you up around 10:00?

Cool.

All right. Get some sleep. Big day.

[rock music]

♪ They call me the most ♪

[scatting]

♪ They call me the most ♪

♪ And I won't stop tryin' ♪

♪ Till I create a disturbance ♪

♪ In your mind ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Create a disturbance in your mind ♪

♪ Create disturbance ♪

♪ Oh, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama ♪

♪ What's on your mind, yeah ♪

♪ I said, I won't stop tryin' ♪

♪ Till I create a disturbance in your mind ♪

Whoo! Whoo!

[Paul] Here we go! Here we go!

-Here we go! -[man] Oh, yeah!

[music continues]

[indistinct chattering]

-Whoo! -Yeah!

Oh, forced to scramble!

[indistinct chattering]

[music continues]

[Paul and Sal] Here we go, Giants!

[rhythmic clapping]

[Paul and Sal] Here we go, Giants!

-Giants! -Bishop with the sack!

-Bishop with the sack! -What a play by Strahan!

Hey. Oh. Let's-- We should get our seats.

-Game day. Game day! -[Sal] Let's go!

[indistinct chattering]

[radio commentator] The Giants have won the coin toss

and have elected to receive the kick.

Back for the kick is Ahmad Bradshaw...

[Paul] Here we go. Here we go. Let's do it.

Here we go. Let's do it.

Here we go. Let's tee it up.

-We're marching! -And that's the third pass

-to Toomer on this point. -We're marching up the field.

[both] We're marching up the field!

We're marching up the field!

Whoo! Whoo!

-Yeah! -Giants, first down.

And the Eagles...

Come on, ref!

You-- Yeah!

Run the football! Come on!

They got no answer for us!

That's right.

Yeah, go in your fuckin' huddle!

-[rock music] -Oh!

How the fuck is that not called?

[radio commentator] That is a ball you just can't drop.

It is right--

Oh, there's a flag on the play.

...45 finally brought down by Quantrell Bishop.

You suck!

Second sack of the day for Bishop.

-You show me nothing! -You suck!

-You suck! -Throw the fuckin' flag!

[music continues] [no audible dialogue]

[radio commentator] And that's a flag on the play.

Ten! Nine! Eight! Touchdown!

[both cheering, laughing]

[man] Oh, man, am I feeling good tonight.

[Sports Dogg] Yeah, I know you're not

talking about the Knicks, Romeo.

-[man] Ha-ha. Yeah, boy. -[horn honks]

I'm talking about the Giants, baby.

-We rocked that field-- -[man] Hello?

Can I pay?

[Paul] Sorry. Sorry.

[Sports Dogg] He's running for his life.

This game was over in the second quarter.

They should have just stayed in the locker room

and gotten on the bus and gone to the airport.

-[phone ringing] -They had no chance

in the second half against Bishop and that defense.

-Hello. -You calling?

In a minute.

[Sal] You know what you're gonna say?

Oh, I'll probably just, uh, just wing it as usual.

Dude, I can't wait to hear you put that douchebag in his place.

Oh, I will. With a vengeance.

[Sports Dogg] The Giants' defense right now is sickening.

Look at what Quantrell Bishop's doin' lately.

He's a monster.

He's harassing every team he's facing.

They don't know what to do with him.

They can't even deal with him. Total domination by the Giants.

I know my boy Paul in Staten Island

was loving life watching that game yesterday.

What do you got, bro?

Hey, Sports Dogg. How ya doing?

Um, I just got one thing to say to Eagle Nation,

especially a certain Philadelphia Phil,

and that is, "Ha! Ha-ha-ha!"

Just like I promised, we manhandled you on Sunday.

For 60 solid minutes,

we dominated the line of scrimmage

on both sides of the ball.

Quantrell Bishop was in your face all day long.

[chuckles] What happened to shutting him down?

Two sacks, seven tackles, two forced fumbles,

and a fumble recovery?

If that's shutting him down,

I'd hate to see not shutting him down!

-Ha! -Quantrell was in your

backfield so much, I almost mistaked him for an Eagle!

-[laughing] -[Sports Dogg] I love that

dude in Staten Island, bringing it hard every night.

[ringing doorbell]

[Paul] Do we have to stay for the whole thing?

[woman] Paul, stop it.

Welcome! Come on in.

Come in, come in, come in.

-Hi! -Hey, Ma.

Thank you. Thank you so much for coming.

-Oh, he's gonna love it. -[man] What's up, what's up?

Let's get this party started!

The cake, he's gonna love it.

Are you kidding me? He's gonna fuckin' freak.

I'm so proud of him.

Okay, let's go.

[all] ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy Birthday ♪

♪ Dear Brandon ♪

♪ Happy Birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

Yay!

-[man] That's nice. -[woman] Baby, that's your gift.

[chatter]

-[man] Nice. -Look at that.

[chatter]

[man] Right now, we're America's fastest-growing warehouse club.

By 2012, there's gonna be

350 locations all across the country.

Wow.

Costco, right now, is crapping in their pants.

So, Paul, you know, the offer still stands.

-I have a job. -[man] Yeah, I know,

but I think you could really go far

-in about five years-- -I have a job.

Don't you want something better?

You know, what if I offer you a job?

I mean, maybe I feel bad for you,

stuck inside of a depressing dentist's office.

How is a dentist's office depressing?

[man 2] Gather round, folks!

Showtime.

[woman] It's so exciting.

I got goose bumps.

Is it working?

[tires squealing]

[crashing]

I'm Jeff Aufiero, attorney at law.

Have you been injured in an auto accident

or other such situation?

[woman] You're so handsome.

If so, you may be entitled to a large cash compensation.

At Bauman, Aufiero, and Paltz,

we've been personal-injury specialists

for over four and a half years.

Whether you've been the victim of a slip-and-fall,

a dog bite, or even wrongful death,

we've got the experience you need

to get the cash you deserve.

Thanks, Bauman, Aufiero, and Paltz!

You're welcome.

[clapping and cheering]

My son, the TV star!

[woman] Great, bro!

-[man] Thank you. - [woman 2] That's fantastic.

-Yeah. -He's another Martin Scorsese!

-Very, very professional. -How much did that cost ya?

-Couple of nickels. -I like when you point,

because you really meant it.

[woman 2] That was amazing, bro. Amazing.

Thank you. Thank you.

[woman] Could we see it again?

[indistinct radio chatter]

What do you have against Price Club?

I'd rather not discuss my career.

You have a career?

That's news to me.

You could actually go somewhere at Price Club.

Yeah, like Dennis? Please.

He's doing extremely well for himself.

Okay.

Who knows? You could probably meet somebody.

Well, what does that mean?

Your brother and sister both found people at work.

Yeah, Gina was Jeff's secretary.

He cheated on his wife with her.

She's a lot better for him than that louse Roberta.

He's a cheat. He fucked her while he was still married.

Don't say that word in my car.

Which one? "Fucked" or "cheat"?

You know.

It's what he did. He fucked her.

-For years while he was married. -Stop it.

I don't want that language in my car.

Oh, so it's worse for me to say it than for him to do it?

-Cut it out, Paul. -No, I wanna know.

Is it worse for me to say the sentence,

"Jeff fucked his secretary,"

than it is for Jeff to fuck his secretary?

You should only meet somebody as good as Gina.

Oh, boy, that'd be tough to top.

Yeah, for you.

Yeah, give me about an hour.

You have to actually date someone to top it.

I date.

Oh, sure. You're dating lots of girls.

You don't think I date?

I know exactly who you're dating.

Your hand.

What did you just say?

You think I don't see those tissue balls

-in your garbage pail? -What the hell!

Either that, or you're just sneezing a lot.

Maybe you just had a very bad cold

-for the last 15 years. -I'm not hearing this.

The kind of cold where you sneeze

-out of your you-know-where! -Oh, Jesus!

-I'm not hearing this! -You probably don't think

I don't see those doo-doo stains in your underpants, neither.

[Paul] Oh, God. Leave it alone.

You don't like it? Do your own laundry.

And keep your hands off your privates!

La, la, la, la, la!

Man, how can you eat that shit?

It's the best.

-You ever try? -Yeah.

I think when it comes to pizza toppings,

I'll trust the Italians over the Hawaiians.

-Try it. -No, thanks.

You know, you might like it.

I don't need to drink piss to know it tastes like piss.

You gonna give Philadelphia Phil

some more shit tonight?

Know what I was thinking?

I let him make the next move.

That's a good strategy.

Holy shit.

What?

Oh, shit!

[Sal whispers] No way.

[Sal] Fuck's he doing in Staten Island?

I don't know!

-Where's he going? -I don't know!

Quantrell fuckin' Bishop!

[tense music]

[Sal] Fuckin' Stapleton.

Oh, maybe he's here to see the Wu-Tang.

[muffled upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

[Paul] Who is that guy?

[Sal] I don't know. Maybe he played with him at UT.

Maybe that's his house. Maybe he lives in Stapleton.

I really gotta go to the bathroom.

[car alarm in distance] [dog barking]

[hisses] Look.

You think he's going to a party or something?

It's a little late to be first heading out.

[tense music]

[horns honking]

[muffled upbeat music]

Uh, hey, so do we, like--

[man] Move it along, guys.

-Can't park here. -Okay. Okay.

There's no fuckin' parking in Manhattan.

[Sal] Let's just put it in a garage. Fuck it.

-[Paul] Where? -[Sal] Slow, slow. Slow. Slow.

-On the right. -[Paul] Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[horn honking]

[Paul] Shut the fuck up! We're turning!

[Sal] Go around!

[Paul] Jesus Christ!

[Sal] "18 for the first..." Is that what that says?

[Paul] That's worse than the hospital.

[muffled upbeat music]

Right this way.

20.

Each.

[upbeat music playing] [indistinct chatter]

Gentlemen, step up for your drink, please.

[indistinct chattering]

Yeah, uh, I'll get, uh, a Bud Light.

-[woman] Bud's fine? -[Paul] Bud's good, yeah.

-[Sal] Uh, same. -Two Buds.

That'll be nine dollars each.

Each? For a Bud?

Fuckin' Manhattan.

[music continues]

[Paul] Right fucking there.

[woman] Hi, guys. How are you?

Hey...

My name is Christiana.

-Hi. -What's your name, baby?

Uh, my name is Paul.

Hi, Paul. Nice to meet you.

-Hi. Hi. -You look so cute.

Oh, thank you.

Where you from?

-Uh, I'm from Staten Island. -Staten Island.

-Yeah. -It's your first time

-you're here? -It is. It is.

Yeah? Do you like this place?

I do. It's great.

Yeah? Do you want a dance?

Uh, that's--

That's very, uh, nice, but I'm--

I'm gonna pass. Thank you. Very nice. Thank you.

What about you, baby? My name is Christiana.

-[Sal] Oh. -Would you like some dance?

Uh, what's that?

Do you want a dance? Oh, dance.

Can I dance for you?

Um, yes, you may. Um, later on.

But right now I have to, uh, I'm on a job.

Okay, I'll come back later. No problem.

[upbeat music playing] [indistinct chattering]

God, I wish I'd brought a Sharpie!

-What's he gonna sign? -My balls. Who cares?

Where's he going?

Probably to take a leak.

Maybe that would be a good time to go up to him, you know,

without his whole group around.

And it would be-- It'd be casual.

Just two guys,

pissing, chatting.

[man] Man, those hoes look good tonight.

[sniffing]

Man, did you see that one with the-- [sniffs]

with the big Brazilian bubble-butt, man?

-Man, she got a phat ass. -Man, she looks gorgeous, man.

-Let's get it. -I'm taking her home tonight.

Her and her friend.

Fuck!

[upbeat music playing]

Now what?

A drink. We buy him a drink.

We send a drink over.

We say it's from the two gentlemen in the corner.

He waves us over to thank us, and we hang out with him.

-That's fuckin' genius. -[Paul] Yes. Right.

How much money you have left?

Uh, six bucks.

All right. Give it here.

Ma'am!

[indistinct chattering]

No, man. I love what I do, man.

[inaudible dialogue]

[indistinct chattering]

[Paul] Oh, look. That's our drink.

She's bringing it. She's bringing it!

-Screwdriver. -Who?

-It's from them. -Who?

Screwdriver? I'm good, baby.

-[waitress] You all right? -Yeah, I'm good.

Can you see? I can't see. Did he take it?

[Paul] I think so. Yeah.

[inaudible dialogue]

We should go there.

Shouldn't they--? Shouldn't they wave us over?

There's no ru-- There's no rule.

There's no rules.

Let's go. Let's go.

[indistinct chattering]

[man] That's what I'm talking about!

How many bottles you had?

[Bishop] I bought about 30 bottles, man!

-[man] Club--Club QB! -[an 2] Club UP, man.

Hey.

[indistinct chattering]

Hey.

[indistinct chattering]

-Hey! -[man] Hey, man.

[indistinct chattering]

There's somebody here to see you, man.

Yeah.

Look at this motherfucker!

[men yelling]

[man] Yeah, and he brought the Nutty Professor with him!

We really wanted to just meet you, Mr. Bishop.

-Hi. Yeah, yeah. -So how y'all doin', man?

-Doin' good, man. -[Bishop] You all right, man?

Yeah, I'm--I'm great.

-We're big fans. -Yeah.

15 sacks'll get you big fans, man!

QB, baby! QB!

Hey, I told you I have fans, man.

See, I told you I have-- QB, man!

We came all the way from Staten Island.

-Staten Island! -[indistinct chattering]

With a--with a little stop in Stapleton.

-[man] Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh! - [man 2] Wh-What?

-Staple--? -[man] Stapleton?

[Paul] Yeah. We were just, um...

Were you following us?

Um, look, Q-- You following us or something?

No, no! We just wanted to say hi, and then--

I guess I kind of chickened out, so I--

They're just fans, yo. Just fans.

-Bullshit! Bullshit! -No, not at all.

-[Sal] If it's not a good time-- -[man] They just fans.

-Just fans. -Bullshit! Hold on! Bullshit!

They're stalkers, man!

[men yelling]

You a fucking stalker, man!

Fuck with me, man? You motherfucker--

Look, I'm very sorry--

-No! No! -[Bishop] Motherfucker!

[all yelling]

[upbeat music playing]

[yelling continues]

[beeping]

[woman over PA] Dr. Lyon, 5145.

Dr. Lyon, 5145.

[woman 2 over PA] Any available transport dispatcher, please.

Any available transport dispatcher.

[tense music]

[woman] Haematoma.

It's a bleeding from the vein

between the brain and the skull.

Fortunately, we were able to successfully drain it.

So I'm gonna be okay?

You sustained some pretty heavy trauma,

but long-run, you should be.

We do need to keep you

another few days for observation.

"Another few days"?

How long have I been here?

Three days.

Three days.

So... So the day is...

Sunday?

Monday.

Monday.

How did we do?

What was the score?

41-28.

We gave up 41 to the Chiefs?

Did Quantrell...?

Suspended?

Yeah.

For how long?

Game-by-game basis.

They say it depends on the investigation.

[knocking on door]

Paul.

There's someone here to see you.

Thanks, doc.

Hey, Paul. How you doing?

I'm from Midtown South.

I, uh, just got a few questions for you

about what happened the other night.

So, uh...

-H-how does this...? -Well, it's pretty simple.

You, uh, tell us everything that happened,

and then we, uh, we nail the son of a bitch.

Put him in jail?

That's the idea.

How much time could he get?

Aggravated assault, maybe three to five.

A-Aggravated assault? That's what it would be?

No, it really depends on what he did.

So why don't you just tell me what he did, and we'll...

take it from there.

He, uh...

Yeah. All right, look, let's, uh, let's keep it simple.

Why don't you, uh, start at the beginning.

Tell me where you first saw Quantrell.

Quantrell. Quantrell, I first, uh...

Um...

I just-- I just don't know

how reliable...

I'll tell you what.

You've been through a lot.

So, uh, you get some rest.

We'll try this again in a couple days.

-That'd be good. -Great.

That'd be good.

I'm sure it'll start to come back to you.

No, I hope so. Yeah. I hope so.

All right. Take it easy, buddy.

You too.

[man on TV] ...even a medium pile or high pile,

nuts and bolts hold on.

Dump it in the trash.

Click it back together, and it's ready to go.

But I saved the best for last.

If you have wooden floors or tile floors,

you have to change the settings, you have to sweep.

This is wet vegetables on wood floors.

This could be tile. This could be[indistinct] .

Look at this. It sneaks behind.

[indistinct]

Picks up the carrots, the peas, the corn.

It gets 'em all in one easy step.

[TV continues indistinctly]

[somber music]

[low rumbling]

[indistinct chattering]

-It's not-- -[knocking on door]

-[Jeff] There he is! -Hey.

There goes my brother. There he is.

Oh. Hello!

-[Gina] Let me look. -[Jeff] What a palace.

Look at this. My brother's living in a palace.

-Not too bad, not too bad. -[Jeff] Nice TV set...

-Look at you. -Better than I thought.

You should get the shit kicked out of you more often.

Jeffrey.

Speaking of which, I've been thinking.

Oh, oh. That's never good!

What this animal did to you, he's gotta pay.

-Yeah. I'm--I'm sure he will. -Well, let's make sure of it.

Well, the cops are investigating.

So?

-So he's gonna go to jail! -Jail's bullshit.

We gotta hit him where it hurts, in his wallet.

I don't wanna be one of those assholes

that sues Burger King for 50 billion

because their Whopper's too hot.

We are not talking about Whoppers here, Paul.

We are talking about a rich, spoiled, millionaire athlete

who viciously beat an innocent man

within an inch of his life.

Do you not think we, as a society,

have an obligation to hold its celebrities to the same--

What's that thing where instead of saying "won't,"

you say "will not"?

Or instead of saying "can't," you say "cannot"?

Contractions?

You stop using them

whenever you want to sound smart or lawyerly--

Don't be a fuckin' wise ass, Paul! This is serious!

[Gina] You should listen to him.

You don't care about justice. You just want money.

Money is justice.

We're talking aggravated assault and battery--

Three, four million, easy.

Wow. So now you're a lawyer. That's--

Boy, the things they teach in secretary school.

-Fuck you! -He don't give a shit about you.

But I don't wanna sue.

-What the fuck's wrong with you? -That's enough.

Thick-headed motherfucker, you are. What is wrong with you?

This motherfucker does not give a fuck about you.

He is in his mansion playing his Xbox.

-You never listen. -[Paul] No one ever

says anything worth listening to.

-[Gina] Look at where you are! -This is a hospital.

...what you want. It's what is right.

You wanna live like this for the rest of your life?

[Paul] Yes, I do. I wanna live exactly like this.

-I had enough of this. -[Paul] Good.

Oi.

How do you get a concussion when you got no fuckin' brains?

[somber music]

[man on radio] In the name of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,

what's going on?

My grandmother could play better than that D-line...

♪ When I stand ♪

♪ My back to the sea ♪

♪ A big white cloud ♪

♪ Looking right down... ♪

[woman] You have reached the home of Theresa Aufiero.

Neither her or Paul can come to the phone.

Please leave your name, number,

and the time of your call, and we will get back to you.

♪ Big white cloud... ♪

[man] This is Murray Pape from theDaily News .

Paul, if, uh, you get a chance--

♪ Big white cloud, big white cloud ♪

♪ On me ♪

♪ Big white cloud ♪

♪ Big white cloud ♪

♪ Big white cloud ♪

[Sports Dogg] The Giants were the one

that basically handed this game over.

Hopefully, this won't be the end for them

and they start playing like this regularly now without QB.

♪ On the hill ♪

♪ Looking at bees ♪

♪ Licking the trees... ♪

[Theresa] ...the time of your call,

and we will get back to you.

[man] Good afternoon. This is Herb Cohen fromThe Post,

calling for Paul Aufiero,

hoping to ask him a few quick questions.

♪ Oh, I love you ♪

♪ Yes, how I love you ♪

♪ Oh, how I love you so ♪

♪ Oh, how I love you ♪

♪ Yes, how I love you ♪

♪ Oh, how I love you so ♪

♪ After all ♪

♪ Is said and done ♪

♪ Everything ♪

♪ Is just like it began ♪

♪ Days that came... ♪

[man] Hey, how you doin', Dogg?

Oh, my God, I'm loving this.

All right, that bunch of thugs

that you call a team up there is showing their true colors

for the whole world to see. All right?

They're just a bunch of dirty, no-good hooligan animals,

all right, from Bishop on down.

This ain't about Philly versus New York, all right?

This is about good versus--

[man] ...slip away!

[Sports Dogg] That's my boy Massapequa Mark,

bringing the leverage!

Hey! Paul, Staten Island, what do you got?

Hey, Dogg, how you doing? Um, listen,

I'm just calling in response to

that pea-brain Philadelphia Phil.

I'm listening here. It's unbelievable!

I mean, you ever hear of "innocent until proved guilty"?

It's a little thing called the American Constitution.

Maybe you should look it up.

Now, we don't know what happened at that club.

We weren't there!

I mean, maybe-- Maybe...

Unless--unless they charge QB with something,

they gotta let him play.

They gotta let him play.

Not that we need him,

because we got the horses, and everything's cool.

This is-- You know what this is?

This is people blowing something

way out of proportion, all right?

And not realizing that this thing is not a thing.

[Sports Dogg] Yeah...

[indistinct radio chattering]

[radio clicks off]

[man] Hey, Paul.

Feeling better?

Yeah, I'm fine. You know.

Is this a good time to talk?

Uh, it's not, uh, ideal.

I got work.

What time you get off?

I don't...

really know how much I can help you on this, you know?

Any help is help, Paul.

Yeah. You know, I think maybe...

You know, I think I got amnesia.

Amnesia.

Yeah. Sounds like you have amnesia.

Is there--? Isn't there anyone else

you could talk to about this, or...?

You'd think so.

A club that crowded. But unfortunately, you know,

everyone was either off in the bathroom

or the VIP lounge,

or havin' a smoke when it all went down.

Hmm.

Well.

Let's hope that amnesia clears up.

When it does, I want you to give me a call.

We wouldn't want a crime like this to go unpunished.

No.

[man] Man, these Giants are killin' me.

I think I might have to start watchin' the Jets.

This is killin' me.

[Sports Dogg] Yeah, I can feel you, Chuck.

You can't tell me this isn't botherin' the Giants.

You can't tell me that this isn't driving Coughlin nuts.

I mean, it's become a problem that they've had to deal with

day in, day out, week to week.

I don't even know how they maintain their focus

with this nightmare goin' on.

The drama keeps playin' out, the story's had legs forever.

It won't go away.

They haven't made their minds up.

The DA doesn't know whether he's comin' or goin'.

I mean, the DA's office gotta make their mind up.

They can't let this thing keep dragging out--

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

We got breakin' news on this very subject.

Let's go to Ed Rosen right now.

[Ed] Well, Dogg, word has come down

that Quantrell Bishop will not be eligible to play

in this Sunday's key showdown in Dallas.

According to a Giants' spokesman,

the five-time pro-bowler will remain on the ineligible list

until further notice.

Once again, Quantrell Bishop, inactive this Sunday.

That's it from the Meadowlands,

Ed Rosen on the Giants beat, 760,The Zone .

[man on TV] The Cowboys come in with

the number three ranked offense.

First in the pass, fifth in the run.

-But of course-- -We're really good.

We're in good shape.

You slide Pierce over, you give Michael some support, bada-bing,

-we're good. -Yeah.

[man on TV] And I see the Cowboys trying to establish

the run early and often today

with the absence of Quantrell Bishop.

Giants come in today,

a little shaky off of last week's loss...

No problem.

[man 2 on TV] This is gonna be a tough

contest and a tough--

[Sal] What the fuck?!

[man on TV] The Cowboys 35 and the Giants 27.

And, Chip, just like we talked about before the game...

-Fuck. -...the Giants' defensive...

You don't go for two when you're down four.

He had all day to pass, and he made them pay.

You miss, you need a touchdown to win!

...the Giants, but without Quantrell Bishop...

The first-and-goal, you cannot take a sack there.

-Throw that shit away! -...way of the Giants defense--

It never should have come to that.

...Quantrell Bishop normally occupies.

Willington, with an admirable job at defensive end today...

We're fine.

...but he is not Quantrell Bishop.

We only need to win one of the next two,

or they lose one.

They got, uh, Green Bay at Lambeau.

We're good. We're fine.

And, Chip, as we turn to the NFC East race now--

You okay?

...the Philadelphia Eagles are gaining on

the New York Football Giants,

and it looked at one point as if we had no race--

-You know what, man? -...but now, Chip,

I think we have a certifiable dogfight on our hands.

You really need to lay off this shit.

Three weeks ago, it looked like the Giants had firm control...

This is alien piss.

Can I make a suggestion, you know? Drink this stuff.

It's much better for you. Root beer.

This is root beer.

Root beer. It's like--

It's like earth's first beverage.

I don't like root beer.

Anything in a green bottle is gonna kill you.

Brown.

It's more natural.

-It's got minerals-- -I don't like root beer!

[TV continues indistinctly]

So long from Texas Stadium, everyb--

[man] Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!

You hear that? You hear that, baby?

That's the sound of footsteps, baby.

We are gaining on you. One back with two to go.

We beat St. Louis next week, you lose to Carolina,

and it all comes to Monday night.

To Monday night madness. To Monday night football.

The last game of the season,

Giants versus the Eagles at the Linc,

where we're gonna frickin' destroy your--

Fuckin' asshole.

[somber music]

How you doing, Paul?

Hey!

-It's cold out, huh? -Mmhh!

-[waitress] Coffee? -Please.

[Frank] Thank you.

Well, gotta be honest.

Did not expect to hear from you.

[chuckles, sniffs]

So.

What do you got for me?

Well, you know, I've been, uh,

thinkin' a lot about what happened, and,

you know, trying to remember.

Bring it.

I just--

I don't think that I'll, uh,

be able...

to r-remember stuff.

I've been trying, you know,

really hard, thinking about what happened, and I ju--

I just can't--

I just can't.

Can't remember or won't remember?

I-I've been trying, like I said,

um, to remember.

I just--I can't--

Can't or won't?

Paul.

I'm sorry.

[Frank] Could've told me this over the fuckin' phone.

[patting table rhythmically]

[somber music]

[grunting]

Bro, you okay?

[Jeff] So, how you feeling, bro?

I'm pretty good. Pretty good.

What'd the doctor say?

Oh, they don't know what happened.

They did another CAT scan?

Yeah. It didn't show anything.

Oh, really? It didn't pick up the fist prints?

-They're not related. -Yeah. Sure.

-You don't know that. -Are you sniffing glue again?

Is this like some kind of no-snitching thing?

-Like the brothers? -[Jeff] Oh, yeah.

I heard the charges were dropped.

I'm sorry. You must be really upset about that.

-Come on, Jeff. -What? I'm sympathizing.

-[woman] Well, stop. -[Gina] He needs to hear this.

[woman] He needs his rest. He needs to get better.

-[Jeff] Look at you. -[Gina] He's right.

-[Jeff] Like a jadrool. -Oh, please be quiet.

-[Jeff] Fuckin' jadrool. -[woman] Oh, my God.

[Theresa] You're not gonna get through to him.

Nobody can.

[phone ringing]

[Larry] Sports Dogg. Name and location.

Yeah. Yeah, hey, Lar, it-- It's Paul from Staten Island.

[Larry] Hey, Paul. I got five in front of you.

-Hang tight. -Okay. Okay.

-Shouldn't be too bad. -Okay, great.

[man] Every time the Knicks manage--

[man] Hey, kitty cat...

-[cat meowing] -Get off the porch!

You're inThe Zone with the Sports Dogg,

760, Sports Radio,

New York...

[Sports Dogg] Hey, Paul From Staten Island.

-What do we got tonight? -Hey! Hey!

What's up, Dogg? Um, I gotta tell you,

I am feeling good tonight because

in a little less than 48 hours,

we are gonna brutally shatter

any flicker of hope the cheesesteaks had going.

We've been messing with them the last few weeks,

letting 'em get back in it a little,

making 'em think they had a chance of catching us,

just so we can see the look on their faces

when they come up short.

Quantrell's back, baby, and he is g--

[Theresa] Paul!

[quietly] Quantrell is back, baby,

and he is ready to make up for some lost time

against the Panthers.

You better hope the scoreboard is broken

down there in St. Louis,

because the Eagles are gonna be so crushed

when they look up at it and see the Giants-Panthers score,

they're not even gonna be able to play.

It's not even--

Even gonna come down to the head-to-head in week 17.

We're gonna wrap up the East in a nice little bow

-this coming-- -[Theresa] People live here!

[whispering] Sorry. Sorry.

This coming weekend, after which,

we will follow our pre-destiny to the Super Bowl

as we ride the victory bus to the championship.

And why? Why are we riding in the victory bus

to a championship we haven't played?

Because, as I said earlier,

it is pre-destiny that we will take the Super Bowl this year,

while at the same time waving goodbye

to the Eagles.

[Sports Dogg] Thanks, Paul. Now, that's a G-Men fan.

-Oh. Thank you. -[Sports Dogg] Thanks, buddy.

All ri-- Okay. Thanks, Sports Dogg. Thank you.

[somber music]

[Imitating plane]

[man on TV] Delhomme in the shotgun...

[Paul] Big stop, big stop, big stop, big stop.

Go get him! Get him! Fuck!

...hauls it in at the 30th yard line...

He had all day back there.

And here come the Panthers...

That's all right.

The Panthers always self-destruct.

[man on TV] ...right out of the air, into his hands,

and another first down.

That's the sixth ball he's caught today,

and we're not even in the second half.

Steve Smith, one of the players Coach Coughlin said

the Giants had to stop. The Giants with no answer--

Jim Trainor, saying so long from Giants Stadium.

Final score Panthers 28, Giants seven--

You can't blame the defense for this one.

Panthers got some weapons.

Quantrell played like shit.

Well, he was double-teamed.

He was rusty.

[somber music]

[Philadelphia Phil] Tied for first place!

[clapping rhythmically]

Tied for first place!

[clapping rhythmically]

Tied for first place!

[clapping rhythmically]

Hey, oh, oh, and one more thing I'd like to add.

Tied for first place!

[clapping rhythmically]

[chuckling]

What's so funny?

You must have the world's biggest collection

of Chinese packets.

It's a sin to throw out food.

My mother, the soy-sauce squirrel.

[Theresa] It's a real riot, not being wasteful.

You know what's a riot?

Is you spending 20 years

collecting all these sauce packets

that you're never gonna use. That's a riot.

You're a sick boy, you know that, Paul?

-You need help. -Yeah.

And you need 6,000 egg rolls.

To put all that stuff on!

[laughing]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

[man] Good evening. Is, uh, Paul home?

Uh, may I say who's calling?

This is Murray Pape.

I'm calling from theDaily News .

Uh, he's not here right now. May I take a message?

Yeah. I'd just like to ask him a few quick questions

about the lawsuit.

If you could, I'd really appreciate--

Lawsuit?

Paul, what the fuck?

Paul. Paul. Paul.

Hello? Hello? Paul. Paul. Paul.

"In an unexpected turn of events,

the lawyer for alleged--"

I'm taking a fuckin' dump here!

"The lawyer for alleged Quantrell Bishop beating

victim Paul Aufiero yesterday filed

a $77 million lawsuit--"

Can we discuss this after I wipe my ass?

"...against the star linebacker in federal court

on behalf of his client"?

Jeff, what the fuck?

I'm acting in your best interests.

You're not seeing things clearly here.

You have no right.

I have a right if you're my brother.

And you're not mentally competent

to make decisions for yourself.

I'm mentally competent!

You're a 36-year-old man who lives home with his mother,

who depends on her for food, for laundry,

and countless basic fuckin' life necessities. All right?

On paper you're basically a fuckin' vegetable!

-Oh, fuck you! -It's true!

-You can't do this! -I just did.

Where the fuck did you get 77 million dollars from?

-I calculated it. -Yeah, outta your ass.

I know you're a fan of this guy,

but you gotta stop looking at him

as some kind of fuckin' hero and start looking at him

as some big, Black, moulinyanjack-off asshole

-that gave you brain damage! -Hey, my brain's fine.

-Yeah. -You--

It was an accident.

The whole thing was a misunderstanding.

A misunderstanding?

-He was drunk! -That's no excuse.

He-- I was bothering him.

Okay? He--he was out trying to have a good time

-with his friends. -Do you hear yourself?

Do you actually hear yourself?

Lots of people get beat up every day.

I don't see you out there suing for them.

Well, none of them are my brother. Okay?

And for what it's worth, the whole family supports it. Okay?

Gina, Mom, Dennis, Christine, everybody.

For what it's worth, I'm not gonna let you do it.

-Go ahead, stop me. -I will.

Go for it.

Can I finish my shit now?

[buzzer ringing]

Can I borrow your Internet?

Maybe "Stopping a lawsuit"?

Man, they usually have everything on there.

Maybe the lawyers don't want that information public.

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Sports Dogg] ...gonna go down with the Yankees up three-zip

in the ALCS losing to the Red Sox.

If they blow this game in Philly,

they're never gonna live it down in New York.

Let's go to line three. What's up?

[Philadelphia Phil] Hey, hey, Sports Dogg, how ya doin'?

It's Philadelphia Phil calling here.

Look, I'm calling in tonight with a shocking revelation.

All right, it's about the Quantrell Bishop situation.

As you might know from the news,

the name of the jerk-off that they beat up is Paul Aufiero.

All right? And what you might not know is

I have a good authority

that Paul Aufiero is none other than...

♪ Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da ♪

Paul from frickin' Staten Island.

[Sports Dogg] You don't know that, Phil.

We don't give out full names on the air here.

[Phil] Yeah, but you do on the Sports Dogg website,

-all right? -[phone ringing]

And I was on it last night, my friend.

And on the Caller of the Month page,

I saw the name from November 2006, Paul Aufiero--

[Theresa] Paul.

...from Ellingtonville, Staten Island. All right?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Are you putting two and two together, my friend?

All right, I clicked on his profile.

Favorite team, the Giants.

Favorite athlete, Quantrell Bishop.

-[Theresa] Paul! -[Phil] Favorite food,

-roast Eagle. -[phone ringing]

[Phil] It's him! All right?

- Paul from Staten Island-- -You listening?

...got beat up by his favorite player,

and now he's suing him

for 77 million freakin' dollars?!

-Are you kidding me? -Fuckin' piece-of-shit scumbag.

[Phil] Can you believe that?

But I feel bad for you, buddy.

I do. You got dumped.

All alone, no team. That's why I wanna

personally invite you to switch over.

I am giving you an invitation to switch over.

Leave the dark side and join the Eagle Nation.

You can start this Monday night at Sharkey's on Passyunk,

South Philly, where me and the rest of my Eagle brothers

will be watching us crush the Midgets

and take the Eastern Crown!

Do you understand? Come--

Hey, Paul, how you doin'? Adam Feuerstein, Newsday.

-Can I ask you a few questions? -Not now.

Um...Paul? How does it feel

to get beat up by your hero?

Is it true that you're a lifelong die-hard--

Leave me alone!

Paul!

Paul!

[man] Say that I'm a Rangers fan,

but it's more like I'm a Rangers endurer, like--

It's like I'm going to a funeral every game,

and last night was no different.

I mean, I think if they can wear boots...

Uh, five dollars.

[man] I mean, what is that?

Are they even playing hockey anymore?

[driver] So you still gonna be rooting for 'em Monday night?

[phone ringing]

-This is Murray Pape. -Hi, Mr.--

I'm unavailable right now, but if you leave a message,

I'll get back to you.

[recording] To page this person, press five now.

At the tone, please record your message.

[beeping]

Hello, Mr. Pape.

This is Paul Aufiero.

I'm calling to let you know

that I'm planning to hold a press conference

to set the record straight

on my situation regarding Quantrell Bishop.

The press conference will occur tomorrow night

at around 11:30 PM

or approximately a few minutes after

on the Sports Dogg program on The Zone.

Please pass word along to your coworkers

or any other people in the media

you feel this might be of interest to.

Thank you very much.

Sincerely, Paul Aufiero.

[phone ringing]

[Larry] Sports Dogg. Name and location.

Hey. Yeah, it's--

It's, uh, Paul from Staten Island.

[Larry] Paul. Hey, uh, what's, uh, what's goin' on?

Uh, listen. Could you--

Could you, uh, get me on really quick?

[Larry] Yeah, hang on a second.

Okay.

[Joe] Joe from Staten Island.

First time, long time, all right?

What's up, Dogg? Listen--

They couldn't win a game

if their life depended on it.

What kind of management do they have there?

I'd rather watch the high school teams in my area

than go and watch these--

[Larry] Paul? You're up next.

Yeah, okay, thanks.

[Joe] This is a comedy! We live in--

[Sports Dogg] Yeah, I'd agree with that.

Good job, Chuck. I can dig it.

Are you kidding me? Oh, this is gonna be a huge call.

Line one, a world exclusive, Paul from Staten Island.

Hey, Sports Dogg. How you doing?

[Sports Dogg] Hey! What's up, Paul, man?

A lot of people have been talkin' about you, brother.

I know. And, uh, I just wanted to say,

a, uh, a lot of people

have been talking about me these days,

and most of it is wrong.

So it's time I cleared the record straight.

First off, with regarding the alleged incident

between me and Quantrell Bishop

on November 30th, this was not an attack.

It was an unfortunate misunder--

[Theresa] Paul.

It was an unfortunate misunderstanding

between the two of us. He did nothing--

[Theresa] Who are you talking to?

He did nothing wrong, and I have no plans to sue.

The lawsuit was accidentally filed

by a person in my family who misunderstood the situ--

[Theresa over phone] Paul, I have had it.

Uh, get off the phone, please?

[Theresa] I have to be up at 7:30.

Hang up.

[Sports Dogg] Who is that?

[Theresa] I have a doctor's appointment at nine.

Okay.

[Theresa] It's surgery, Paul.

[Sports Dogg] Is that his mother?

[Theresa] They're removing my corn.

-If I don't get a good night-- -Fucking hang up

-the fucking phone! -[Sports Dogg] Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No F-bombs, dude.

You know that. I gotta let you go.

[phone clicking off]

Hello?

Why are you doing this to me?

I'm not doing nothing to you! You do it all to yourself!

I'm sick of you treating me like a baby!

You are a baby, with your calls

and your little playmate, Sal!

Why don't you grow up and get a life?

-I have a life! -No, you don't!

I'm happy with my life!

-No, you're not! -Hey, I think I would know!

Happy is family, children!

-Oh, says you! -Says everybody!

There's basic stuff every person needs!

-Oh, don't-- -Your brother has 'em,

your sister has 'em, only you!

Hey! Hey! No! No! I don't want what they've got!

I don't want it! I don't want it!

I don't want it!

[low rumbling]

[man on radio] This Giants fan is really upset.

He's afraid they're gonna lose out the string now,

so now he's watching the Jets and the 49ers,

and hoping they could, uh, wring out a win.

This is a depressed Giants fan today, folks.

[man 2] That was his best year.

It wasn't, you know, 15-16.

Uh, this kid Harvey had, Derrick Harvey,

has four sacks through the first eight games--

[man speaking indistinctly on TV]

Where you going?

Paul?

[door shuts]

[TV continues indistinctly]

[tense rock music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[Theresa] I have no idea where you are.

When you take my car,

you can at least have the courtesy to--

[beeping]

[recording] Message deleted. Next message.

[Sal] Yo, Paul, where are you? I've been calling.

We watching at your place?

[traffic whooshing]

[man on radio] ...at KYW1060.com.

Philadelphia officials admit they won't even come close

to meeting their goal

with installing 250 surveillance cameras

in high-crime areas by the end of--

[man 2] The governor, governor of

the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania,

Governor Ed Rendell, back with us on the big talker 1210.

Governor, we got a cheese-steak here

with your name on it.

[Governor] Yeah. I'm on the air?

Well, I eat, uh, pizza around this time of night.

I'm on my way back to Harrisburg.

I'm in the car, and--

[gentle rock music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[indistinct chattering]

[man on TV] McNabb already looking sharp,

coming off a great game last week against St. Louis.

Phil!

[people cheering]

Phil!

Phil!

[man] We get to Wisconsin, and literally I came

as we're driving across the bridge into Wisconsin.

-It was like a conquest. -Right.

We get to Wisconsin, he says,

"Hey, can you drive a stick?" And I was like, "Huh?"

I'm like, "Dude, I can drive a stick."

And he fucked her in the back?

He fucked her in the back seat,

but first, the lady goes, "Fricking huge!"

That was frickin' huge.

That was big. That was big for us.

[man] Let's go. Bring it fuckin' home.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

[indistinct chattering]

[Phil] "This is what you call a game turner."

[man] It's called a game "changer," you motherfucker.

Phil!

[Phil] Donovan.

[man] Let's go, let's go, let's go.

What you gonna do? Come on!

-Throw it up his ass! -Phil!

Let's go!

[people cheering]

Yeah, you fuckin' asshole!

Yes! Oh, yes!

-That's what I'm talking about! -[man] Yes.

That's what I'm talking about!

-Whoo! -We got this.

-We got this. -We got this.

Take away that bullshit fumble call,

we'd be up 14.

Yeah, you know what?

Not to worry. It's about to get ugly.

Yeah, it's gonna get fuckin' ugly.

Yeah.

-How's it going, bo? Phil. -Oh. Mark.

-How's it going? -Good, good.

I like the paint. You got your colors, right?

-I'm flyin' my colors, man. -He's got his fucking colors on.

-Fly them, man. -Fly 'em.

-Fuckin' queers. -Douche, douche.

Douche bags.

Douche, douche!

Douche, douche.

Now--now I just want it to become,

like, an annihilation.

Like, I just want it to become an abomination,

an annihilation, a murder,

a mass fuckin' murder!

You fuck.

I want to mass fuckin' murder these motherfuckers.

You know what I mean?

An abomination!

[laughing]

[Phil] Fuckin' guy with paint on his face. Big fan, big fan.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah!

[man on TV] McNabb takes the snap.

Makes the hand-off to Westbrook.

[indistinct]

In the end zone! Touchdown Eagles!

[cheering]

Yes! Fucking touchdown, you asshole! Yes!

Yes! You fuck!

That's what I'm fuckin' talking about!

Ah, ha! Ha-ha-ha!

Asshole! Look at him. Yeah, he's a giant fag!

No, no, not a giant fag.

He's a "Giant" fag, like a Giant fag?

You know what I mean? You dumb fuck. Yes!

Yes! I love it.

Whoo!

Hey, I--listen, this is gonna sound kind of weird,

but, uh, do I know you?

Just that you sound familiar, you know, your voice. Um...

You ever go, uh, listen to, uh,

The Pen? 860?

Sometimes.

Rob Ryan or Eagle's Nest

or Nothing But Netsky--

You know, those call-in shows?

I call in all the time.

I'm pretty much a regular on all those shows.

-That's gotta be it. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I call in there, you know, break balls and shit.

It's a good time. You know what I mean?

I even, uh, been calling up the local shows

up in New York now, piss off the locals.

-You know what I mean? -Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I fucking can't stand Giants fans.

-Yeah, like Giants fans. -Yeah, fuck Giants fans.

I can't stand those motherfuckers.

[Paul] Fuck 'em.

There's that one guy that got his ass beat by Bishop?

-You heard about that? -Oh, something about--

Yeah, yeah. He, um...

[Phil] He's a big fan. Bishop was his favorite player.

And somehow or another, he pissed him off.

It's, like, you wanna fuckin' grow up.

You wanna be like Mike,

not get fuckin'-your-ass kicked by Mike.

Imagine fuckin' Julius Erving

come and kicking my fucking ass?

Fuckin' jerk-off. It's crazy.

Yeah, it fuckin' is.

-What's your name again? -Mark.

All right! Mark.

All right! Mark the Spark!

Mark the Spark!

Yeah. Killer Phil! Killer Phil!

Here we go, and it's only gonna get worse for the fucking guy,

in one minute 33,

one minute and 32

and 27-- 29, you fuck.

Whatever. You can't fucking count.

26, 25...

[people chanting] Giants suck! Giants suck!

[Phil] Life is good, baby!

[man on TV] Folks, you can put a bow on this one.

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

-Giants suck! -Cock!

-Giants suck! -Cock!

-Giants suck! -My balls!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

Giants suck! Giants suck!

The clock has expired, the season has expired.

[Paul] Are you gonna--?

Are you gonna call up that station

up in New York tonight?

Yeah. Shit, yeah.

I got a big bag of salt that needs wounds for rubbing into.

I'll bet-- I bet that loser's

writing out his suicide note as we speak.

Yeah.

Ahh.

Come on! Gotta drain the monster. Let's go.

Bo, what are you doing? I'm taking a fuckin'--

Hey, whoa. What are you--? What are you doing, man?

-Don't do that. -Be quiet.

-No, no, no, don't--don't-- -Quiet. Okay?

You didn't have to be mean.

What are you talking about, mean?

Everybody's always so mean.

Bo, I don't know who the fuck you are, okay?

What are you doing?

And it wears me out.

Yo, listen to me. Listen to me.

You got the wrong guy here, you understand?

[Paul] No.

I got the right guy.

-[gun cocks] -No, no, don't--don't do that.

-Don't do that. I-- -[gunshots]

[grunting]

[tense music] [gunshots continue]

[Phil shouts]

[groaning]

[Phil panting]

What the fuck?

Eagles suck.

♪ Delta Dawn ♪

♪ What's that flower you have on? ♪

♪ Could it be a faded rose? ♪

[people shouting]

Get fuckin' back!

♪ And did I hear you say ♪

♪ He was a-meetin' you here today ♪

♪ To take you to his mansion ♪

♪ In the sky? ♪

♪ She's 41♪

♪ And her daddy still calls her baby ♪

[police sirens]

-♪ All the folks ♪ -Freeze!

♪ Around Brownsville say she's crazy ♪

♪ 'Cause she walks downtown with her suitcase ♪

♪ In her hand ♪

♪ Lookin' for a mysterious dark-haired man ♪

♪ Delta Dawn ♪

[Paul] I'm sorry!

♪ Could it be a faded rose ♪

Sorry!

-Ow, ow, ow. -[cop] Shut the fuck up!

♪ And did I hear you say ♪

♪ He was a-meetin' you here today ♪

♪ To take you to his mansion ♪

♪ In the sky? ♪

♪ Delta Dawn ♪

♪ What's that flower... ♪

[music fades]

[Sal over phone] Hey.

Hey.

How's it going?

-Yeah. -Uh-huh.

So, um, yeah.

Your mom been by?

Uh, she came by a few days ago.

Um...

She's not really taking this too well.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

[sighs] How about, uh, Jeff?

Jeff was supposed to come by yesterday,

and then something

with his kid or something...

Oh, oh! Hey, hey, hey.

-Hey. -What?

It's out?

Hot off the press, from today'sPost .

Oh, my God.

This is cake!

Uh, that's what I said.

'Cisco,

Miami...

13 and three. Easy.

What are your three losses?

Green Bay, New England, Chargers.

We could easily beat Green Bay.

14 and two.

Oh. Oh, man.

What?

New England, December 20th.

I get out that week.

-Oh, shit. -Patsies are toast.

There's no way we're losing with us in the parking lot.

Not a chance.

15 and one.

Totally realistic.

Oh, man.

Oh, man!

It's gonna be a great year.

♪ I got kicked off of Noah's Ark ♪

♪ I turned my cheek to unkind remarks ♪

♪ There was two of everything ♪

♪ And one of me ♪

♪ And when the rains came tumblin' down ♪

♪ Held my breath and I stood my ground ♪

♪ And I watched that ship ♪

♪ Go sailin' out to sea ♪

♪ Take it back ♪

♪ Take it back ♪

♪ Oh, no, you can't say that ♪

♪ All of my friends ♪

♪ Are not dead ♪

♪ Or in jail ♪

♪ Through rock and through stone ♪

♪ The black wind still moans ♪

♪ Sweet revenge sweet revenge ♪

♪ Without fail ♪

♪ I caught an aisle seat on a plane ♪

♪ And drove an English teacher half insane ♪

♪ Makin' up jokes about bicycle spokes ♪

♪ And red balloons ♪

♪ So I called on my local deejay ♪

♪ And he didn't have a lot to say ♪

♪ But the radio ♪

♪ Has learned all my favorite tunes ♪

♪ Take it back ♪

♪ Take it back ♪

♪ Oh, no, you can't say that ♪

♪ All of my friends ♪

♪ Are not dead ♪

♪ Or in jail ♪

♪ Through rock and through stone ♪

♪ The black wind still moans ♪

♪ Sweet revenge ♪

♪ Sweet revenge ♪

♪ Without fail ♪

♪ The white meat is on the run ♪

♪ And the dark meat is far too done ♪

♪ And the milkman left me a note ♪

♪ Yesterday ♪

♪ Yesterday ♪

♪ Get outta this town by noon ♪

♪ Get out! ♪

♪ You're comin' on way too soon ♪

♪ Right now ♪

♪ And besides that ♪

♪ We never liked you ♪

♪ Anyway ♪

♪ Take it back ♪

♪ Take it back ♪

♪ Oh, no, you can't say that ♪

♪ All of my friends ♪

♪ Are not dead ♪

♪ Or in jail ♪

♪ Through rock and through stone ♪

♪ The black wind still moans ♪

♪ Sweet revenge sweet revenge ♪

♪ Without fail ♪

♪ Sweet revenge sweet revenge ♪

♪ Will prevail ♪

♪ Without fail ♪