Original subtitles

[audience applauding]

[audience cheering]

["Boat" playing]

[audience cheering, whistling]

Thank you very much. How're you guys doing?

- [audience cheering continues] - Welcome to Subtract.

So, um, the origins of this album, I know I've written about it online,

but, like, when I finished Plus, my debut album,

the next album I was gonna make was Subtract.

And I went in, uh, with Rick Rubin

and we started recording this acoustic album

and it just sort of morphed into Multiply,

because I don't think I was probably ready to make an acoustic album.

I wanted to, you know, make "Sing" with Pharrell,

and "Thinking Out Loud," and "Photograph," and do-- and do all this sort of stuff.

And then, after that came Divide. And after Divide,

I really wanted to make Subtract, but it also morphed into Equals

in the pandemic, and I wanted to come out of the pandemic

with "Bad Habits" and have a song to make people dance and stuff.

So I'd been putting together this record over a decade

with all my favorite acoustic songs that I'd written over the last decade.

And it was, uh, slated to be put out this year.

Uh, and then at the beginning of last year,

I probably had the darkest month of my life,

and it made me address lots of things.

And I'd met Aaron previously.

Everyone, make some noise for Mr. Aaron Dessner, over there.

[audience cheering, whistling]

And I'd met Aaron through Taylor.

Taylor had hooked me and Aaron up on-- on email.

[audience cheering continues]

And then me and Aaron went for dinner.

This is, like, November 2021.

Me and Aaron went for dinner, and, uh,

I was telling him I'm just about to put out this album, Subtract.

But after that, I would love to try something different,

maybe with electric guitars, blah-blah-blah.

And he sent me a bunch of instrumentals.

And I sort of s-- Had them for a while, and I was like,

"I w-- I'll get to them eventually,

but, you know, I'm gonna put out Subtract and do all of that."

And then February happened,

and I basically wrote over all these instrumentals.

We got in the studio and we f-- and we finished it.

And, uh, what has come out of it is actually

what Subtract was always meant to be, which is-- which is this record.

Uh, so I'm gonna play it in full,

all the songs, and explain stories behind them.

Uh, this song is called "Salt Water."

- [audience cheers] - It's basically, like, I've had, you know,

ups and downs throughout my life since I was very, very young.

And, uh, you know, as I've got older and become a parent, those ups and downs,

you feel more ashamed about because, you know, you-you hate thinking dark,

dark thoughts when you have children to look after.

But this is, uh, a song which basically encapsulates all of that "what if?"

And it's called "Salt Water."

[audience cheering, whistling]

["Salt Water" playing]

[audience cheering, whistling]

So, um, the last time I was in this venue, uh, it was with my friend Jamal.

Uh, we came to a comedy show here and we sat that side of stage and, um...

[clicks tongue] ...uh, yeah, it's kind of weird being back here

for the first time since then.

Uh, this next song was inspired by Jamal.

Um, but, you know, now it's out.

I find, like, as I said earlier, like, music, uh,

when I write, it belongs to me. When I release it, it belongs to you guys.

And I really felt-- Like, the first time that I played this song ever,

I cried. I cried when I introduced it, I cried when I sung it,

I cried at the end. And I'm gonna cry now. [chuckles]

- [audience cheering] - [audience member] We love you, Ed!

This will happen a lot in the gig, by the way.

[audience cheering]

But I found-- I found this song, like, super, like, cathartic to write

and put out there, 'cause it's kind of--

****. I know this is being filmed. [chuckles] Let's just--

[audience cheering]

I found over the last, like, two days with, like,

people sharing their stories and stuff, it's been, like,

obviously heartbreaking reading everyone's stories,

but it's just something that we all go through.

It's like-- [breathes heavily]

[audience cheering]

Apple-- Apple, when you're editing this, just make it... [chuckles] ...smooth.

Um... [clicks tongue] ...yeah, it's just, I mean,

that's the thing I realized when all these things happened last year.

It's just, like... It's just being an adult,

like, this **** just happens, and everyone goes through it.

[exhales deeply] Three songs in. Wow.

[audience chuckling, cheering]

This is "Eyes Closed."

Can you count in?

One, two, three, four.

["Eyes Closed" playing]

[audience cheering]

You know, it's, uh-- It's weird 'cause this,

you know, I sing songs all the time,

but, uh, this is, like, real-life stuff that's-that's happened,

so I'm sorry that real-life emotions got in the way on stage.

[audience cheering]

So, this next song is a song called "Life Goes On," and, um,

I felt like when Jamal passed away, I wanted the world to

stop like it did for the Queen.

You know, when the Queen passed away

and the whole world just stopped for a day?

And it sort of did. It sort of did.

Everyone sort of gathered together, uh, for that one day and then the next day,

you know, everyone sort of got back to their lives.

And I know that's, again, a normal thing.

People have jobs, people have things that they have to do.

But I just didn't feel ready to, and I still don't feel ready to.

I feel, like, you know, grief is one of these things

that you're kind of expected to feel sad

for two weeks, a month, or whatever.

And then after that point, you know, everyone rallies around you

for the first couple of weeks, and then after that point,

you just sort of have to get on with it.

And we're a year on, and, you know, I'm not over it.

And I don't want to be.

I like feeling emotion for it.

It makes me feel-- It makes me feel, and I think that's a good thing.

- So, um. - [audience cheering]

[Ed] Ugh.

In my experience, the worst thing for the vocal cords,

at any point, is to cry.

- [chuckles] They sound dreadful. - [audience laughing]

So... [sniffs] ...Apple, again, be kind.

[audience chuckling]

This is "Life Goes On."

[audience cheering]

["Life Goes On" playing]

[audience cheering, applauding]

[exclaims]

So, I have two amazing daughters, who are fabulous.

[audience cheering] Whoo!

But when-- when all this was going on, I had one and a half

because one of them was in, uh, in a womb. [chuckles]

But it's amazing, like, kids-- kids, I mean, they do know what's going on,

but they also don't know/care. If that makes sense.

So I would, like, go to bed crying and wake up with an amazing, you know,

ball of energy just being like, "Hi! Let's do stuff."

And... [chuckles] ...it's-- it's a real juxtaposition to have,

you know, real darkness at night

and then wake up with just a beautiful girl

who just wants to listen to music in-- in the morning.

And all throughout this, you know, I'd get up with my daughter

and we'd pick a record and we'd put a record on.

We'd eat breakfast and it would just be great.

Just, like, really great.

Um, and that's how this song came about.

Uh, we'd put on Dusty in Memphis and...

- You know, my daughter has good taste. - [audience chuckling]

Uh, and this song's called "Dusty."

[audience applauding]

["Dusty" playing]

[audience cheering]

I was just saying to Aaron, like...

when we made that song it was obviously, like, joyous.

Uh, and when I was putting the track list together, I was like...

Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy... Put some joy in. [chuckles] Joy.

[audience chuckles]

Now we get back to the heaviness. [chuckles]

So the thing that I realized most from grief is that,

uh,

the moment you become an adult is when that happens.

Because it's, you know, the first time you're sort of dealing with--

I mean, it's not just grief, it's any-- any real-life situation.

That is the moment you become an adult. It forces you to just become an adult.

And what I realized in that situation is I had so many friends

in school that, you know, lost parents when they were teenagers

or people that lost parents when they were, like, three or four.

And they have to deal with that real life-ness at that age

and become adults at that age.

And it literally just ends your youth in its tracks.

Just stops it. Just ends the youth.

So you can be 12 years old and your youth is over,

you have to deal with real life and...

You know, it really got me thinking.

It got me, um, talking to mates that had gone through that.

And talking to them about it and how-how it was.

And, uh, I wrote this song, uh, called "The End of Youth" which is,

you know, uh, the lyric is, um,

"We spend our youth with arms and hearts wide open

and then the dark gets in and that's the end of youth."

And I really feel that.

I really feel like the m-moment you start feeling darkness,

your youth ends. But... Cheery. Here we go.

[audience chuckling]

["The End of Youth" playing]

[audience cheering, whistling]

Though I find being in love is, uh... [clicks tongue]

...you know, it's a wonderful thing, it's not necessarily a fairy tale.

Like, love you have to work at.

Marriage you have to work at, and it's different shades of color

every single day.

You have some days where you are bright red anger.

Some days where it's just blue calm.

Some days where it's fiery passion.

You know, it's like a wide spectrum of colors.

And, um... [clicks tongue]

The-- This-- This song is basically written about that.

That when you're-- [stammers] when you're in love, you're essentially--

you can see through all of it and be-- and be color-blind.

Um, so this song is called "Colourblind," basically.

[audience cheering]

["Colourblind" playing]

[audience cheering]

I feel like when you're going through periods of your life

where you're feeling really deep depression,

you tend to shut the world out, uh, which is probably the wrong thing to do,

but it just always feels like the only thing to do.

You draw the curtains, close the door. I don't wanna speak to anyone.

Um, leave me alone, basically.

Uh, and I'm fortunate enough to have lots of brilliant people in my life,

lots of really kind friends, my wife, my parents.

And, uh, you know, there's always someone there to help draw the curtains

and let in the sunshine. And this is what this song is about.

- It's called "Curtains." - [audience applauding]

["Curtains" playing]

[audience cheering, whistling]

Thanks.

How's everyone feeling?

[audience cheering]

[chuckles] I'm really, really proud of this album.

This is the first-- I'm, like, so grateful to these players for being on stage.

It's the first time I've, uh, um, played an album in full.

I'm so honored that we're doing it at the Apollo.

And these guys are just fan-****-tastic.

Can you give everyone a round of applause, please?

- [audience cheering, whistling] - I feel so lucky.

I feel so lucky and-and honored to play with you guys. Thank you.

Um...

And if you didn't know, so, the reason that it-- I mean--

I was gonna say the reason it sounds like the record.

You haven't even heard the record. [chuckles]

The reason it sounds like the record is these guys played on the record,

so we're literally recreating exactly what Aaron made in the studio,

um, which is cool.

So this next song is called "Borderline."

Um, I had some other stuff go on around February last year.

There were some health scares with someone I love really dearly.

Um, and, uh, I rung up Aaron and I said, "I've just found out this news.

Could you send me some more instrumentals?"

And he sent me seven instrumentals,

and I sent him back, in probably, like, three hours, seven songs.

And, uh, this was the first one.

Uh, the first line is, "Sadness always finds an in."

And I really do believe that.

Even if you're having a great day, there's always a way--

Sorry, this is rea-- [chuckles]

- This is really-- [chuckles] You guy-- - [audience laughing, murmuring]

We finished with "Bad Habits" and went straight in with this.

But, um, yeah. I just find, um...

I'm just gonna sing it. It's called "Borderline."

[audience cheering]

["Borderline" playing]

[audience cheering, whistling]

Cheers, mate.

Right, um.

So this next song is called "Spark" and, uh, it's basically about-- I feel--

I feel like life's in chapters and, um, getting--

I don't know, feeling, uh, reminiscent can sometimes be a bad thing

because you keep yourself in the last chapter.

And I feel like it's all about, um-- [clicks tongue] I don't know.

You know, in movies, when people have those breakups,

and they put everything into the fire,

and they go, "And it's a new dawn and blah-blah-blah."

I feel that's a healthy thing sometimes, to just move on and just be like,

"That was that. And this is now."

And, uh, the lyri-- The lyrics to this chorus are, you know,

"We'll build a fire, and we'll torch our old life

and hope the original spark of what made it amazing survives,

and we'll just move on from it." But, uh, yeah. This is "Spark."

[audience cheering, whistling]

["Spark" playing]

[audience cheering, whistling]

So it was pouring with rain when Aaron sent me all these, um, songs.

And the first lines of this song is, "Rain keeps beating on the rooftop,

muddying the glass but, God, I love the sound of heaven."

And, um, yeah, this is a song,

another song that was written in that batch along with "Borderline."

And along with the next two. Well, the next one, at least.

And, uh, it's called "Vega."

The Vega is, um, the brightest star in the Lyra constellation which, uh,

which I found quite cool.

I kind of, like-- It's-- I found it really weird writing to Aaron's music

'cause what-what happens with Aa--

Aaron basically sends a fully formed song, essentially. And you write over it.

And usually I would be in the studio and I would get--

I would pick up a guitar and I'd go, "Right, what do we write about today?

We're doing... [mumbles]

[mutters lyrics of "Bad Habits"]

Okay, is that a good line? Is it 'bad habits lead to late night,' or is this..."

And you kind of go back and forth, and you bounce ideas

and that's the collaborative process that I've usually done,

whereas this collaborative process is Aaron going, like,

"Just write what you feel." And I found... [stammers] ...words pouring out.

And some of them, I was like, "What does that even mean?

'It burns like hell to be Vega.' Like, what--" [stammers]

But it was just a line that just came out of my mouth

whilst writing this song.

And, you know, this song probably took as much time to write as the song itself.

Like, it just fell out. Uh, and I can't describe it.

Aaron's-- Aaron's music has songs in it that you just have to...

You know, like in Harry Potter, when it's the Pensieve,

and you take that bit out. I find, like, that--

Aaron's song is Dumbledore's mind basically. And you just...

- [audience cheering] - [chuckles] ...take it out. But yeah.

So this is "Vega."

["Vega" playing]

[audience cheering]

[grunts] So, that day... [clicks tongue] ...we got the news,

uh-- I got sent all these-- all these songs, uh,

and we were driving up to a specialist,

um, in North London to sort of get results and scans

and work out what the nex-next steps were.

And I wrote this song.

Basically, I just find, like, we're born into life with love.

Our parents love us, and we're born in love,

and hopefully we leave the same way. But, yeah, this is called "Sycamore."

[audience cheers]

["Sycamore" playing]

[audience cheering]

Thank you.

Um.

So, my dad, uh, said to me when I got married--

He said, um, "You will not know what real love and marriage is

until there's death and there's, uh, real sickness."

And he said this because, uh,

that happened when he first married my mum.

There was, uh, real, real grief that happened in the family,

and real, real sickness that also then ended up in grief

that they both had to go through,

and he said that that really brought them together.

And he just said, "Once that happens, it's an unbreakable bond,

and you can't ever break it."

And, um, you know, I've been married now almost five years, and, uh, the--

You know, I've always felt real, real closeness,

but last year was when that sort of unbreakable bond was made.

And I know-- I know you should feel that before with, you know, marriage

and then children and blah-blah-blah,

but I really feel like we got through 2022,

we can get through anything basically.

[audience cheering, whistles]

And I wanna say, like, we're nearing--

we're nearing the end of Subtract now. There's two more songs.

Thank you for sitting through this... [chuckles] ...therapy session.

[audience cheering]

This is my favorite song on the album.

Might be one of my favorite songs I've ever written.

Uh, and it's called "No Strings."

[audience cheering]

["No Strings" playing]

- [audience cheering] - Thanks.

Well, this has been a roller coaster of emotions.

Um, thank you very much for coming.

Thank you to Apple Music for putting it on.

And, um... [clicks tongue] ...yeah, thanks for not filming,

being cool, listening. Just, yeah, being sound.

I, uh-- I was hyper-nervous before I went on stage.

I was like, "You're not gonna cry." And three songs in, I did. [chuckles]

But, yeah-- As I said, like, this isn't a fabricated thing.

We're, like-- This is my real life. You all have real-life things.

And hopefully when this comes out, you can connect to it,

and then I don't-- [chuckles] I don't have to think about it anymore.

Um... [clicks tongue] ...but, yeah, thank you so much for coming.

I just want to say before we do this last song,

and I know I've said it before, but these musicians are, like, the best.

- [audience cheering] - They are the best.

So thank you so much for playing with me and making this come to life.

Um, and, yeah, like, Aaron--

Aaron is really, like-- He just gets me. And he gets emotion,

and he has a massive heart that comes through the music.

And it's an honor to stand on stage with you and play. Thank you.

[audience cheering]

So this last song is, um, the oldest song.

Uh, I wrote this ten years ago.

Uh, and it was always gonna end Subtract.

On my version of Subtract that I had, this was always the last song.

And I felt-- When we-- When we put the album together,

and it ended with "No Strings," I sort of felt it was a bit--

You know, it sort of ends in the world of grief and pain

and depression and stuff like that.

And I thought it would be really nice to, uh, ease the audience out with a song.

So this is a song that I wrote for Subtract.

I wrote it up in a-a-a beautiful Highland town called Aberfeldy,

- which makes great whiskey as well... - [audience cheering]

...with my, uh-- with my friend Foy Vance,

who, uh, has been a collaborator for God knows how long.

Uh, and, yeah, it's the last song on the album.

It's meant to gently take us out. Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you to Hammersmith.

- [audience cheering] - Thank you to Apple Music.

Thank you to Aaron and the band.

And I really appreciate it. Thank you.

["The Hills of Aberfeldy" playing]

[audience cheering, whistling]

[cheering fades]