All language subtitles for 911 Lone Star s04e12 Swipe Left.eng

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(exhales)

Okay, babe, first candidate
should be here any minute.

Is the coffee ready?

The tea kettle is charged.

English breakfast, herbal tea,

green tea, decaf,
and (clicks tongue) regular.

Hey, are we sure
these pretzel sticks are vegan?

I think so.
Is one of the candidates vegan?

Well, with the priestess,
I have to assume.

I don't wanna
offend her, you know.

I'm worried you're putting
too much pressure on this.

Uh...

No, I am not.

This officiant is gonna
unite us in front of God

for the rest of our lives.

I mean, it is a big deal.

Okay.
Yeah, but the right person will find us.

You just have to be yourself
and not worry.

And if she doesn't
want a pretzel stick,

she won't eat it.

Because you think
they're not vegan.

I knew it.
It's a stupid idea.

I'm gonna throw these out.

Hey.

- Look at me.
- (TK sighs)

This is supposed
to be fun, alright?

Everything will be okay.

Okay.

Let's have some fun.

Mazel tov
on the engagement.

Rabbi Finkel,
thank you for coming.

Of course.

So should we call you
Pastor Savard

or Pastor Nicole?

Oh, Nicole's fine.

Amethyst, or goddess,
if you prefer.

It's very nice
to meet you, Amethyst.

CARLOS REYES:
Can we call you Tom?

Uh, Reverend Tom,
if you don't mind.

I didn't go to divinity school
for seven years to be just Tom.

If I may say, you two
both have radiant auras.

- Why, thank you.
- AMETHYST: I've always been

blessed with second sight.

Are those pretzel sticks?

Yeah.

(crunching)

Are-are you sure you're okay
with officiating a wedding for,

you know, folks like us?

Who's to say
a nice young Jewish boy

couldn't find love with
a handsome Catholic?

We're a Side A church.

That means that we believe
all loving relationships

are equal in the eyes of God.

That's really beautiful.

I brought you
a few scripture passages

on the subject that I think
would be great for you to read.

CARLOS: Hmm.

Yours is a cool blue
of a sage.

Yours is a fiery,
passionate red.

And when you come together,

your couple aura
turns into a prismatic...

Purple?

Do you have the sight, too?

No, I'm just familiar
with the color wheel.

The passage I recommend
for same-sex unions is

"Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li."

I am my beloved's--

- And my beloved is mine.
- RABBI FINKEL: Yes.

I guess something stuck
from Hebrew school.

(chuckles)

And people don't always
like to hear it.

But sometimes love isn't enough.

Marriage is the greatest
commitment you'll ever make.

Especially for you boys.

You'll be joined together
for eternity.

Burning in hell.

- Wow.
- Hmm.

- TK STRAND: Thanks for
the heads up, Tom. - Yep.

- If I may offer
a piece of advice? - Yeah.

Don't listen to the noise.

And believe me,
there will be a lot of noise.

Ho, ho, ho. Ha, ha, ha.

He, he, he. Me, me, me.

Dee, dee.
He, he, he.

Me, me, me.
Thee, thee, thee.

You available on the 26th?

I don't believe in
the Christian calendar. Or time.

So all that's left to do now
is to enroll you

in some classes.

- Some classes?
- To convert, of course.

PASTOR NICOLE:
I don't like to force anything on anyone,

but I always ask
my couples to have

the big, difficult
conversations now

before you get married.

About work, finances, romance.

Oh, trust me, we've had all
of the difficult conversations.

And what about kids?

- CARLOS:
We're not gonna have kids. - TK: Can't wait to have them.

What?

(theme music plays)

CARLOS:
So who's your leading contender?

I'll be honest,
Amethyst had my vote

right up until the moment
she said I had a blue aura.

Everybody knows
it's emerald green.

Are we seriously not gonna
talk about this, Carlos?

CARLOS:
Talk about what?

The gaping chasm
that just opened up between us?

There's no gaping chasm.

Carlos, since when do you
not wanna have kids?

Since when did I ever say I did?

I don't know,
I-I guess I just assumed.

You also assumed
I didn't have a wife.

You're so funny.

How have we never had
this conversation?

I don't know. It's not something
I've been thinking about.

Plus, we've been busy working,

trying to have a little fun

when we're not in comas
or being abducted.

Yeah, but you...
you love kids, Carlos.

I love other people's kids.

Okay. What about
your nephews and nieces

or-or Captain Vega's twins
or baby Charlie?

All other people's kids.

Yeah, but you're
so great with them.

Thank you.

I'm also great with horses.

Something else
you probably didn't know.

TK, I just want us
to have a chance to be us.

There are so many things
I still wanna do with you.

I wanna hike
the Great Wall with you.

I wanna sleep in
in Tuscany with you. I wanna--

Babe, you don't even hike here,
and you hate sleeping in.

Yeah. We've still never been
to New York together.

Well, you know
that they allow you

to bring children
into New York?

I just don't think we're
anywhere close to being ready

for that level
of responsibility.

We've never even had a pet.

Lou.

- Lou?
- TK: Lou.

Our pet lizard.

The lizard that escaped
five minutes

after you brought it
to the house

and that we've released
back into the wild?

So you think I'm gonna
make a terrible father.

I never said that.

Mm-hmm.

But what I do think...

is that you are going to make
a fantastic husband.

V8 engine designed in Modena

with a Milanese
leather interior.

The seats are heated.

And to answer your question,

yes, the pastries
are complimentary.

(chuckles)
Oh, it's awfully fancy, Mitch.

I mean, do we need
something so fancy?

After what we've been through?

The universe owes it to us.

We were unhoused
when an act of God destroyed our marital abode.

Oh, no. Fire?

Fire department, actually.

We lost everything.

Luckily, my uncle
passed recently.

Left us his duplex.

Well, that's... good.

And we have
a little money put away.

Almost half a million dollars.

We started a GoFundMe
after the tragedy

to see how generous
people can be to those in need.

It restored
our faith in humanity.

(singsongy)
Now we flush.

(all chuckling)

So, what do you say?

I don't know.

(slight chuckle)

- Let's get, uh, more of these.
- I gotcha.

I mean, people
donated that money

so we could afford a new home,

but we have that now.

Shouldn't we give it back?

Lila, when people donate
to a worthy cause,

they do it so they feel good.

Do you wanna take that feeling
away from them?

Well, no, but it just...

feels so extravagant.

See, that's what you call
a poverty mindset,

and you have to get over that.

I know when you look
in the mirror,

you see a plebe
from the trailer park.

But you know what I see?

What?

A queen.

A queen whose butt belongs

- on heated Milanese leather.
- (Lila squeals)

(both chuckle)

That doesn't sound terrible.

MITCH (chuckling): Yeah.

You don't have to feel guilty

about getting
what you deserve, Lila.

So what do you say?

♪

Oh... We'll take it!

- (Lila whooping)
- (engine roaring)

(whooping continues)

My heart is pumping
outta my chest!

- That's the V8.
- Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yes! Whoo!

(whooping continues)

Whoo!

Oh. Ohh! Hey!

Mitch, Mitch.
That guy is trying to race us.

Let's do it.

I-I don't know, hon.

Oh, come on. Look at him.
Come on. Come on.

Come on!

Speed up! Speed up!

You're lettin' that
trash bag pass us!

Whoo! Don't think,
just go, baby!

(exhales)

(engine roaring)

(Lila whooping)

(Lila and Mitch screaming)

- Whoo!
- MITCH: Woo-hoo-hoo!

(Lila and Mitch
whooping and screaming)

Four hundred and fifty
horsepower!

Suck it, plebe! Ha-ha!

(cars zooming)

All hail the queen, bitch!

Whoo!

God, I love you.

I love you too, king.

(both laughing)

(Lila and Mitch scream)

LILA:
Slow down, slow down!

I'm trying!

(tires screeching)

(Lila gasps, pants)

(truck beeping)

(both screaming)

LILA: No!

(manure rumbling)

(horns blaring, sirens wailing)

OWEN STRAND:
What happened?

Well, them two
nearly crashed their hot rod

into my side dumper.

Nearly crashed?

MAN:
Well, yeah, they stopped short,

but I was
in the middle of a dump.

- Wait, all that's manure?
- Yep.

High-quality organic.

They ain't hurt none,
but they're, uh,

kinda planted in there.

Are you kidding me? Cap.

Do you see who that is?

Wait, why do they look familiar?

NANCY GILLIAN:
They're that couple from that runaway house.

Wait, the ones who filed
the complaint against Marjan?

- PAUL STRICKLAND: The same.
- MATEO CHAVEZ: Oh, yeah.

Mr. and Mrs. Geralds,
as I live and... breathe.

- Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
- (Lila whimpers)

- Are you hurt?
- No, we're not hurt.

- We're just stuck.
- (Lila groaning)

So stuck like,
stuck, stuck can't move?

Well, do you think
we'd be sitting in here if we could move?

I don't know you well enough
to answer that question.

Captain Vega, you wanna
assess the medical injuries?

Will do. TK, get a pulse ox.

Copy that, Cap.

Hey, can I get
a ladder over here?

(gags, coughs) Oh, God.

Mitch, I swallowed some!

Well try keeping
your mouth shut, Lila!

(both groan)

- (Lila grunts, sighs)
- Hey, guys.

- LILA: Oh.
- (device beeping)

(both groan)

- It's cold.
- Satting at 96, Cap.

Everything's alright.

Alright.

Stable for extraction.

Captain Strand,
they're all yours.

Yeah.

(sighs)

Huh.

Hmm. Mm-mmm.

- (Lila groaning)
- What? What "hmm"?

Why are you
just standing there?

I'm assessing.

What is there to assess?

Get us out of here!

OWEN:
We don't wanna rush.

Isn't that right, Marwani?

Oh, that's right, Cap.

There could be mistakes.

Mistakes are bad.

Oh, my God.
Just pull us out.

OWEN:
We could just pull you out.

Isn't that right, Judd?
We could pull 'em out.

Well, I mean,
we could pull 'em out,

but we'd probably just
pull their arms right off.

- What?
- JUDD RYDER: Yeah.

Cow manure weighs somewhere

between 1,200 and 1,800
pounds per cubic yard,

depending on how much, uh,
fiber's in the cows' diet.

I think this one had a lot.

Alright, let's get
some shovels in here.

- Yes, Yes, shovels. Thank you.
- Yes, yes, yes.

MITCH:
H-How long is this gonna take?

Oh, not long.
Hour or two.

No, I cannot breathe in this
for another hour.

OWEN:
Well, I suppose we could fit you

with a full-face
particle respirator.

- LILA: Yes.
- Gas mask.

Yes. Yes, that, please.

But if we're gonna
go by the book,

those are only deployed
for medical reasons.

Captain, can you see
any medical reasons?

Uh... no, not a one. Mm.

Well, in that case,
it falls to the sole discretion

of the firefighter
in charge of equipment.

(scoffs) And who's that?

(Lila whimpers)

- Oh. (groans)
- Oh, no.

OWEN:
What do you say, Marwani?

- Should we give 'em a break?
- (exhales)

Now, that depends.

We promise whatever happens,
we won't sue.

That's good.

But I am gonna need
one more thing.

Anything. Just get us out.

Hey, guys, Firefox here.

I ran into some friends
at work today

and they really,
really wanna say "Hey."

- (unenthusiastically): Hey.
- MARJAN MARWANI: Aw.

MATEO:
Let us help you to hear a little bit better.

- MARJAN: Oh, look at that.
Go ahead, guys. - MATEO: Here we go.

I'm Lila Geralds.

And I'm Mitch.

And we'd like
to give our heartfelt thanks

to the brave heroes
of the Austin Fire Department.

- MITCH:
For bravely rescuing us. - Hey-oh!

Oh, yeah.
Rescuing you from...

Another... crappy situation
of our own making.

Well, on behalf of the 126,
we'd like to say you're welcome.

Oh, and to
any of you who, uh,

contributed
to the Geralds' GoFundMe page,

I'd like you to know
that 100 grand of that

was spent on this car
in that dung pile over there.

Yeah.

So on behalf of my followers...

(laughs)

...next time, why don't
y'all go fund yourselves?

MATEO: Oh!

Alright, well, then,
let's stick with New England.

Um... how about Rhode Island?

- BOTH: Providence.
- TOMMY VEGA: Yes.

Yeah, you're showing off
a little bit for me.

Alright, well, then
give me New York.

Easy. It's New York.

(imitates buzzer buzzing)
No.

No, that's a trick question.

I know it feels like New York

should be
the capital of New York,

but it is not.

(sighs) When are we
ever going to need

to know state capitals?

All the time.

IZZY: Like when?

Like for game shows.

- (laughs)
- TOMMY: Laugh.

When you miss out

on a brand-new set
of washer and dryers,

well, just because you didn't
know the capital of New York...

Albany.

Were you messin' with me?

Were you playing a trick
on mom right now?

IZZY:
Don't worry, we got this, okay?

IZZY AND EVIE:
We gotta go.

I love you to the moon.

(kisses)

- (Tommy chuckles)
- I've been to Albany, and trust me,

the capital really
should be New York.

Right?
This is what I'm saying.

They really need to fix that.

I love how the girls
mess with you now.

(laughs)
It's the best. Just...

I don't know, watching them
turn into actual people.

TK: Yeah.

Cap, can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Did you always
wanna be a parent?

Since my first
Cabbage Patch doll.

(chuckling) Love that.

So it was a matter
of when not if?

Not exactly.

It's like wanting to have kids
is one thing,

but... being able to have 'em,

that turned out to be
a whole other ball of wax.

It wasn't easy?

Fight of my life.

Really?

Well, we take for granted
those things

that-that we think
will come easily,

and-and then when they don't,

it's, it's the hardest thing
in the world.

How'd you handle it?

Not well.
In the beginning it was, uh...

I mean, I was angry.

I was angry and depressed
and bone-tired.

And... truth be told,
ready to quit.

Why didn't you?

Charles.

Yeah. He-he convinced me that
all this heartache and struggle

was gonna be worth it.

So I'd get back in the ring

and start slugging it out
all over again.

Well, was he right?

Was it worth the fight?

What do you think?

JOE:
Come on, come on. Extend that right leg.

PAUL: Alright, come on,
Marj, now you got this. Push. Push, push, push.

All right? Push, push, push.

Will you stop?

I'm doing PT,
I'm not giving birth.

JOE:
Uh, he's right, though.

You need to get
more extension in that leg.

That's the only way
you're gonna get

all the strength
in your hip flexor.

- PAUL: Mm-hmm.
- I'm trying.

Oh, come on.
It's like my man Yoda says.

"Ain't no try, only do."

Yeah, well, Yoda never
got shot in the gut.

I need 20% more extension.

(exhaling)

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you got it, Marj.

You got it! Come on!

Nice job. Release.

- (sighs)
- Not bad, firefighter.

(clears throat)
Not bad?

JOE: Mm-hmm.

I just gave you full extension.

Yeah, you did.
I'm glad I didn't blink.

Maybe next time you can hold it
for longer than... two seconds?

You really do just
feed off my misery, don't you?

I do.

And it is delicious.

(both chuckling)

Ooh. My 1:15 just showed.

See you next week.

See ya.

Peace.

What?

Oh, you really gonna act like
that didn't just happen?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

I'm talking about you
and trainer Joe

flirting it up
a storm over there.

(scoffs) We were not flirting.

Hmm. Okay, well, whatever
that was, it was on and poppin'.

- (cell phone chimes)
- Shut up.

(Paul chuckles)

(Marjan laughs)

My Geralds' poopy picture
just hit a million likes.

Best week ever.

Yeah, I bet.

(chimes)

Oh, my God.

What is it?

Salim and his periodontist
just had a baby.

♪

Eh. No offense,
it's not even that cute.

I mean, for a baby, I mean.

TK: Yeah,
its head is kinda pointy.

Like a Conehead.

Thanks, guys.
You're the best.

- Ugly baby.
- Is it, though?

You know what?
Give me this.

- MARJAN: No.
- No.

First of all, you need
to stop following Salim

on socials, like, immediately.

And second of all,
you need to stop moping.

I just got punched
in the soul.

Well, don't think of it
as a punch in the soul.

Think of it
as a kick in the ass.

And how's that
supposed to help exactly?

Well, maybe this is
the universe's way

of telling you that it's time
to get back out there

and start looking
for Mr. Right

instead of staring
in the rear-view at Mr. Wrong.

- TK:
He's got a good point, Marj. - I don't know.

Look, I-I'm not ready
to start dating.

You and Salim
broke up two years ago.

You deserve a few sparks
in your life.

I literally put sparks out
for a living.

You know what? Even if
I did wanna start dating,

it's a-a whole thing for me.

A thing that I've actually
never done before.

The guy has to be Muslim.
I'd want there to be a chaperon.

- There's just...
- You mean like a babysitter?

I mean, is that like,
a rule or something?

'Cause my buddy Amir goes out
with chicks solo all the time.

Though he could
actually use a babysitter.

- (mouths) True.
- TK: So what are we talking about here,

like a professional chaperon?

No, like my father,
uncle, cousin.

- So family.
- Exactly.

And mine are all in Miami.

So even if I was ready
to put myself out there,

I don't have any family here.

That's a nice try, Marjan.

You got a houseful
of family right here.

When the man's right,
he is right.

PAUL:
And he's right.

So no excuses, Marjan.

You want a chaperon,
you got plenty.

Fine!

I'll get back on Ascent

and update my profile.

- Let's go, Marj.
- NANCY: Whoo!

- PAUL: Gettin' it goin'!
- It's a start.

- Okay?
- What you mean a start?

Well, one dating app
ain't gonna cut it.

You gotta be on three.

- PAUL: Hmm.
- At least.

I mean, you know,
more pools, more fish.

Why am I already
regretting this?

You're gonna have ups
and you're gonna have downs.

Never get too high
and never get too low.

Finding your prince usually
means kissing a lot of frogs.

You have to accept
out of the gate

that no matter what you do,

some of these dates
will be cringe.

Great.

Okay, we're gonna
need a safety word.

A safety word?

Oh, no. He is right.

It's brutal out there, Marjan.

So the chaperons
are gonna need

like a code word to let us know

when to pull
the ripcord for you.

♪

Assalamu alaikum.

Walaikum salam.

So, Omar, uh, you like tea?

- You're hot.
- Wow. (laughs)

Thank you.

No, I mean,
you're sweating quite profusely.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

Uh, you know, I've never--

I've never done
one of these before.

Like a date, I mean.
(sharp exhale)

I mean, I did with my fiancé.
Ex-- Ex-fiancé.

Yeah, we'd known each other
since we were 12.

His name is Salim.
He just had a baby.

How many frogs did you
have to kiss, babe?

The point is that if Disney
has taught us anything,

it's that the prince
that you're looking for

is usually the last guy
you'd expect.

That's why you gotta insert
at least one comfort nerd

into the lineup, Marj.

- A comfort nerd?
- TK: Yeah.

You know, someone who's chill
and will help take the ease off

when it's time for,
you know, date day.

Oh, yeah?
What does that guy look like?

These are for you. (chuckles)

Wow! Thanks.

- They're beautiful.
- Wow.

- They're gorgeous.
- Are they paper?

I'm really into paper-based
floral arrangements.

Way more sustainable
than ammonia-based fertilizers. (chuckles)

Eco-friendly and thoughtful.

Okay, well, what's the word?

I've always liked
the word "rutabaga."

(chuckles) It's gonna be
a little tricky to work that

into a conversation, Cap.

Maybe for you.

MARJAN:
Uh, okay, how about--

how about, um, "popcorn"?

Okay, I guess that works, too.

Okay.

Hassan, if you were to describe

your occupation in one word,
what would it be?

- Entrepreneur.
- Ah.

Jake Bezos, you better look out,
'cause I'm coming.

- Let's go, baby!
- Yeah!

What if I told you
that there was a gym

where next to
every workout machine

there was a selfie station

and no shirts
were ever required.

- Sick!
- HASSAN: Right?

You gotta keep that concept
under your hat, bro.

I'm still out to VCs.

It's like my teta
used to say,

"Flowers bloom,
but are all gone too soon."

Except these. (laughs)

Your teta?

It means grandma.

Yeah, I know. I'm Lebanese.

- No way.
- MARJAN: Yes way.

- (Zain and Marjan laugh)
- ZAIN: What?

So, uh, it says in your profile
you're a tax attorney.

- Is that right?
- It's what I do.

But it's not who I am.

It's, it's not my passion.

Oh. Well, what is your passion?

I work in the
International Dog Rescue Space.

Wow.

It's kinda dorky,

but, uh, I love pretty much

anything Harry Potter.

I'm suspicious of all
earthly passions, honestly.

Right now, I'm obsessed
with my delts.

I crowdsource financing
to arrange flights

for dogs to get off the streets

in countries all over the world
and into loving homes.

Uh, we fly dogs
from Iran to Canada,

Costa Rica, the US.

The needs are, are endless.

That's incredible.

I know it sounds silly,

but I think of them as my kids.

Oh, no,
that doesn't sound silly at all.

And speaking of,
how do you feel about kids?

Like, how many?

- Eight.
- Eight?

Yeah. Unless you want more.

Well, you're no longer
a spring chicken,

we'd have to hurry, but, um,

your build is strong, so...

Do you think
they serve popcorn?

Oh, look at the time
in here is somethin'...

- Popcorn.
- PAUL: It's late.

So, uh, how would
you feel about me

working after having children?

Fine with it.

As long as they root
for Man United.

Never!

Arsenal or nothing.

I'd be happy to be
a stay-at-home dad.

Do you, baby.

Somebody's gotta fund
the Hassan Dream.

Hashtag life goals.

You know, I'd really
love some popcorn.

(scoffs)
In a tea house?

Yeah.

Why don't you go check, baby?

Uh, okay.

This is Dorothy.

She lost her ears
on the streets of Tehran.

Aw.

She chewed the ears off her toy

so that they match.

Isn't that amazing?

Oh, that is the
most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

I can't rest until
I find her a forever home.

Yeah.

So what's your house?

Oh, we work out of the 126.

- TK: Mm-hmm.
- No, I mean your Hogwarts house.

Like I'm Ravenclaw.
I bet you are, too.

Or Slytherin.

Oh, my God. Please don't
tell me you're a Hufflepuff.

I'm not really into
the whole Harry Potter thing.

I don't...

You know what?
I don't think this is gonna work.

Huh.

Well, that was an experience.

I always go full throttle.

Hey, make sure
to follow me on Instagram.

I've been trying
to boost that profile.

Would appreciate it.

Text me, bro.

My man.
I like the goofy kid.

Hmm.

Marjan. Captain Strand.

- This has been such a pleasure.
- Likewise.

But I should
probably be going.

Dorothy starts
tearing up the furniture

if I'm, uh,
late for dinner time.

So, we should do this again.

I'd love that.

- Bye.
- MARJAN: Bye.

(Marjan giggles)

- I think we just found a winner!
- (Owen chuckles)

I think we just found an angel.

Yeah. (chuckles)

Oh. (sighs)

Oh, man, look,
literally anybody

can get ordained
to marry you guys.

- Yeah?
- PAUL: Mm-hmm.

TK:
And what's that entail?

PAUL:
It's easy, man.

I did it online.

What's up, Marj?

MARJAN:
Hey, are you getting full bars?

'Cause I don't think I'm--

I don't think
I'm getting full bars.

- Yeah.
- TK: Yeah, me, too.

- MARJAN: Oh...
- Wait, Paul, you're ordained?

PAUL:
Yeah, I married my cousin in Chicago

- a couple of years back.
- Huh.

MATEO:
What up? What up?

- PAUL: Hey, yo.
- How we doin', family?

What's up? We doin' good.

Except for Marj,
who has no bars.

Actually, I do
have bars, so, yeah.

Girl, what is wrong?

It's that Fauza guy.

Is that the dog rescue guy

or the young
Omar Sharif-looking guy?

- It's the same guy.
- (Nancy chuckles)

We really hit it off.

You know, the date
literally ended with him saying,

"We should do this again,"
and now nothing.

Not a call or a single text.

NANCY: Hmm.

What were his exact words?

Do this again
or do this again sometime?

I don't know.
Does it make a difference?

- PAUL: Hell, yeah.
- Oh, it makes a big difference, Marj.

That "sometime" qualifier

takes it from the concrete
to the vague.

Yup. Nuance matters.

Well, nobody told me
I should be taking notes.

You know what?
I hate this already.

- Just means
you're doing it right. - (cell phone chiming)

(Mateo laughs)

NANCY: Baby, who is
blowing up your phone?

Oh, it's Hassan.

Uh, he invited me
to his streetwear pop-up

downtown later.

Hassan?

Wait, so you're getting
a second date before I am?

(chuckles) That's great.

You know what?
I'm just gonna bite the bullet

and I'm going to text Fauza
and see if he's interested.

- No, no, no, no!
- What's wrong with you?

- Don't-don't do that.
- Why not?

Because if you text him first,
you're gonna look thirsty.

- Mm-hmm.
- So it's okay for him to text me first,

but not the other way around?

- Yes.
- Why?

(quietly) The patriarchy.

Just wait it out
for a second, alright?

Maybe he's just trying
to play it cool or something.

For what?

So that he can amp up
my neediness and anxiety

only to relieve it
in a rush with one single text?

You sure you've
never dated before?

MARJAN:
You know what?

I am not gonna fall
for this manipulative crap.

I'm officially
putting away my phone.

- Okay?
- (cell phone whistles)

It, it's him.

He text me. (giggles)

He text me.

(giggles) You're such a dork.

Oh...

She is in it now.

Oh, yeah,
she is really in it now.

(sighs)

(sighs)

YASIR (over voice mail):
This is Yasir. Leave a message.

(construction noise)

(car door dinging)

(deep exhale)

Oh, Yasir.

- (man 1 whistles)
- (man 2 whoops)

- (whistling continues)
- Whoo!

Seriously? Pigs!

MAN: Oh!

(exhales)

Hi.

Checking in?

Not exactly.
My husband already checked in.

His name is Yasir Karim.

Could you just tell me
which room he's in?

- It's K-A-R-I-M.
- DESK CLERK: Sorry.

I'm not at liberty
to give out that information.

Hotel policy.

I'm his wife, Fara Karim.

I have ID, if that helps.

It doesn't, actually.

I'm not allowed to give out
any personal information

about our guests.

Hotel policy.

I'm not asking for
his Social Security number.

His car is out in front.
I know he's here.

Well, then maybe you
should try calling him

and asking him
what room he's in.

I've been trying to call him.

DESK CLERK: Jeez.

He's not answering.

(voice breaking)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm... seven months pregnant.

Okay, um...

Okay, look, I know he's here
with another woman.

I just need to speak to him.

You know,
like I'm asking you

as a human being
to another human being.

Please.

And again, I'm gonna have to

remind you of our hotel policy.

I don't care about
your stupid hotel policy.

The hell with you
and your hotel policy.

I will bang on every door
in this hotel if I have to.

DESK CLERK: Ma'am.

This really isn't a hotel.

It's what you call
a no-tell motel.

So I'm not gonna tell.

Believe me,
you're not the first wife

who's come in here
trying to catch

her cheating husband.

- (gasps)
- Not even this week, honey.

Okay?

Now I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.

You cannot treat
people this way.

DESK CLERK:
Well, you're more than welcome

to fill out a comment card
on your way out.

Comment card.

DESK CLERK:
Now, just go before I call the cops.

Thank you.

DESK CLERK:
You're welcome.

(mouths)
Comment...

(dramatic music playing)

(whimpering)

(grunts sharply)

(heavy breathing)

♪

(whistling)

(rumbling)

♪

(Fara screaming)

(Fara cackling)

Is this against hotel policy?!

(cackling)

Whoo!

(whoops, yells)

Whoo!

(grunts)

(cackling)

(debris rumbling)

- (siren wailing)
- (horn blares)

(indistinct chatter)

What the hell happened here?

Apparently, a woman
had a heated dispute

with the desk clerk there.

Then went on a rampage

with this skid steer she stole
from that construction site.

Any idea what set her off?

According to the clerk,
she's seven months pregnant

and her husband's somewhere
in the motel with another woman.

- Well, that'll do it.
- Yeah.

Any idea where she is?

The-the victim,
not the mistress.

Yeah, trapped
under that pile there.

TOMMY: And she's
seven months pregnant?

Do we know if she's injured?

She's talking, says she's fine,

but we haven't been able
to get to her to confirm.

Alright, Captain Vega,
stand by.

We gotta secure this area.

Alright, 126.

Strickland, Ricardo,
cribbing and struts.

Gallagher, Chavez, Marwani,
you're on extraction.

- Get out our victim/suspect.
- MATEO: Yep.

Let's try to
get this thing done

before the whole thing
comes down.

Hey, guys, the strut,
it's all set over here.

MARJAN: Alright.

(team chattering)

MATEO:
I-I'll push, you pry on three.

Okay, one, two, three.

(grunts)

MATEO:
Get this out of your way.

(Marjan grunts)

Hey, ma'am, are you hurt?

I don't think so, no.

You got the door?

Alright. How's the baby?

She's kicking,
but that's not new.

Okay, take my hand
and we're gonna

get you out of here, alright?

No, I'm gonna stay here.
You leave me.

That's not an option.
This whole cage could collapse

- and crush you
and your baby any second now. - (metal grinding)

(sighs) Everything
is already crushed.

What's the difference?

(voice breaking)
I've lost everything.

That's not true.
You still have your baby.

You will have each other.

No, I won't.
I'm gonna be in prison.

And the cheating cheater's
gonna get custody.

No judge is gonna throw the book
at a pregnant woman

who is fighting for her family.

- Not even in Texas.
- Especially not in Texas.

So take my hand
and let us show your baby girl

how strong her mom is.

Okay. Okay.

- MARJAN: Here, take this.
- MATEO: I got it.

FARA: Okay.

(grunts)

MARJAN:
You're doing great. Come on.

FARA:
(panting) I'm sorry.

You're okay. Come on.

- She's coming out, Cap.
- PAUL: That's right.

♪

- (monitor beeps)
- Her BP and vitals are good.

TK, what's
the fetal monitor saying?

Baby's heartbeat is at 199, Cap.

Is that bad?

It is a little fast,

but that's also expected

given the adventure that
the two of you have been on.

Uh, West Park will
take a look at you,

but I'm not concerned.

Thank you.

Thank you for
talking some sense to me.

- How's she doin'?
- TOMMY: She's good.

This officer needs
to talk to you.

Oh, I'm being arrested, huh?

Afraid so.

You don't have
to handcuff her, do you?

I think we can skip that part,

but I do have to
read you your rights.

Yes, fine. I understand.

I pu--

(indistinct chatter)

Yasir, you rat bastard!

(indistinct radio chatter)

- Fara?
- God's gonna get you for this

and so is my mother!

- Is that--
- Yeah.

Yes, it is.

Uh, Fauza, what the hell, dude?

Marjan?

Wait. You know her?
You know him?

Uh, not as Yasir,
but, yeah, Fauza.

FARA:
Fa-- that's his brother's name.

Does he have a twin?

FARA: Uh, no.

Oh, you're gonna
hear it from my lawyers

and all my uncles!

Please take me away, sir.

Um, no, you're
gonna go with them.

I'll, I'll meet you
in the hospital.

Well, let's, um...

You can forget about
Saturday night, too.

(sighs) This is
so disappointing.

You...

are a disappointment.

(siren chirps)

TK! What a nice surprise.

Hey, is this a bad time?

No, no, no. Not at all.

I know I should
have called, but--

Do I smell fried chicken?

Maybe.

TK:
Dad, are you crushing

an entire bucket
of chicken by yourself?

Chicken buckets.

Rough day?

Oh, it's Fauza.

- What a disappointment.
- Yeah.

It's weird when they drop

the preexisting
spouse bomb on you.

Oh, that's right.

Well, at least
Carlos divorced his.

Annulled, but, yes.

And that was never
a question for us.

Now, the kids question.

Whoa, wait a minute.
He has a kid?

- No, he-he doesn't have a kid.
- Oh. (scoffs)

I just found out
that he never wants to.

Sounds like you could
use some chicken.

(TK sighs)

- How's this so good?
- Mm. Right?

You know what scares me, Dad?

Is what it says about us,

that we've never
even discussed it.

It says to me you avoided
the conversation on purpose.

Avoided?

I don't avoid.

I think you didn't
ask TK about kids

because you knew
what his answer would be.

We're in such a good place.

Also, we've been
really busy lately.

For three years, Carlitos?

Por favor.

You're gonna
have to do better than that.

People get busy.
That's the thing.

Yeah, but not too busy

to have a conversation
so foundational.

And that's not
what healthy couples do.

You know, your mother
and I never discussed

what religion you were gonna be

until I overheard her
scheduling your bris

in the delivery room.

Needless to say, a very
animated conversation ensued.

You don't think
it's because I'm an addict?

He's worried that I'll relapse?

Maybe that's what's
really bothering you.

No. I believe in TK's recovery
with my whole heart.

Is that what he said
the reason was?

No. He said it's because
he wants us to travel the world.

(laughs)

What?
I've only left the state, like, twice in my life.

And we had to take you
kicking and screaming both times.

(chuckles) You got homesick
after a weekend in Branson.

Ay, mi amor.

Why don't you tell me
what's really bothering you?

Honestly, I don't feel
comfortable saying it out loud.

Is it that you're worried

that the child's not gonna
have a mother in their life?

Because I'm here for you,
and so are your sisters.

I know you are.

I'm not worried about
who the mother will be.

I'm worried about
who's going to be the father.

And I don't mean TK.

- TK: I blame you.
- Me?

Yeah, because
I have such a great father/son situation here,

I wanted to, you know,
pay it forward.

TK and Owen have always had
such a special relationship

from the time he was little.

I didn't start one with my dad
until two years ago.

That is not true.

I'm afraid I won't measure up.

But I also don't wanna
push him into something

that he doesn't want.

Does that make me
compassionate or selfish?

I can't answer that,
but what I can tell you

is almost every time I put
your mother's needs before mine,

I ended up being happier

than if I'd gotten
what I thought I wanted.

So you're saying
I should give up the dream?

No.

What I'm saying is that
you have to be considerate

for his feelings
just as much as your own.

And whatever you decide...

you have to be
honest with him.

And take what
the universe gives you.

Because no matter
what happens, mijo,

the most important thing...

Is that TK's by my side.

...'cause Carlos is my person.

♪

Okay. I got grape leaves,
I got rice, and I got garlic.

You get the mint.
I'm gonna get the Aleppo pepper.

Right. And we need snoubar.

Snoubar? What is snoubar?

Probably under pine nuts.

Oh, no,
Asha's allergic to nuts.

- Oh.
- Is it gonna ruin it if we don't use it?

No, it's all good.

Actually, you know,
I-I wanted to say thank you.

Um, I appreciate you guys
inviting me over for dinner.

But, you know, if you wanna
spend the night alone

as a couple, I totally get it.

I don't wanna be
a third wheel.

Marjan, we are not inviting you.
You're helping me cook.

How else am
I supposed to make a

authentic
Lebanese mezze by myself?

- (chuckles) Yeah,
that would be a disaster. - (scoffs)

- Okay, we need eggplant
for baba ghanoush. - Yes.

BOTH: Oh!

- PAUL: Oh. Trainer Joe.
- Hey, you two!

Hey.

What are you,
what are you doing here...

in a halal market?

Well, I only eat halal meat,

and I felt like a porterhouse.

You're Muslim?

Is that really such a shock?

Yeah, kinda, you know.

Because I'm Black
and my name is Joe?

I was only messing with you
because I am Black

but my name is actually Yusuf.

(laughs) Right.

Okay, well, how come you
never mentioned that

in any of our sessions?

Why would I? I don't bring
my personal life to work.

- Yeah, I respect that. Yeah.
- JOE: Yeah.

Assalamu alaikum.

Walaikum salam.

(laughter)

Alright. It was, uh, it was nice
running into you, Joe. Yusuf.

Uh, you, too.
I'll see you Thursday.

Actually, uh...

maybe you wanna see me tonight?

I'm-I'm going
to this guy's house

with his girlfriend for dinner,

and I could really use
a fourth wheel.

I don't know.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.
Forget I even asked.

JOE:
I was gonna say, I don't know

if one porterhouse
would be enough.

- You're messin' with me.
- JOE: Aah.

- I was messing with you.
- (Marjan, Joe laugh)

I would love to.

- Yeah?
- JOE: Yeah.

Cool. (laughs)

- He wants me to-- Yeah.
- Yes. Yes, he does.

(ambient street noise)

- Hey, babe.
- Hi. Perfect timing.

- How was your day?
- Good.

- What are you cooking?
- Beef Wellington.

Can I get you a glass of wine?

First, tell me the occasion.

No occasion.

Just every night that
I get to spend with you

is a night worth celebrating.

Don't worry.

This isn't a bribe.

Well, neither is this.

(chuckles) What is this?

It's a surprise.

(imitating Brad Pitt)
What's in the box?

What's in the box?

You do a horrible Brad Pitt,
you know that?

I know, but you love it.

I don't, actually,
but I do love you.

- So, go on, open it.
- (TK inhales)

(TK exhales)

Oh, my God.

A bearded dragon?

- Babe, it's--
- Terrifying.

Beautiful.

Wow.

Hey, little buddy.

Hey. (chuckles)

Hey, little guy.

I know you're ready
to be a father.

And I have no doubt that
you would be an amazing one.

But I'm not so sure
I'm there yet.

Or ever will be.

TK: Hmm.

I just wanted
to be honest with you

and say that
this may be the only child

we ever share together.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Really? Are you sure?

Carlos, would you
just take the yes?

Okay.

Yes, TK.

Also, they told me
it likes to eat live crickets.

- So, that's gonna be your job.
- (TK laughs)

TK:
I got it.

What should
we name this little guy?

I was thinking Louis the Second
or Lou II.

Why don't we ask him?
Let's see which one he likes better.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Ohh, crap.

He already got out,
didn't he?

Couldn't have
gone far, right?

Uh, Louis the Second?

(grunts) Lou II?

I'm never sleeping again.

Oh, boy.

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