Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:03,712
♪
2
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:06,048
Wow. Oatmeal.
Good for you.
3
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,799
Yeah.
4
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:10,219
It's a healthy delivery system
for all the sugar, butter,
5
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,970
and cream I need to
start my day off right.
6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,599
That's weird.
7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,643
Robin wants to know how
my job interviews are going
8
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:18,936
since old man Wellman
9
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,188
stopped giving me
bad references last week.
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,190
Apparently, he's too busy
being deposed
11
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,566
for polluting
the groundwater.
12
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:25,817
Well, that's great.
13
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,070
Should make it easier
for you to get a job.
14
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:31,281
Yes, except I'm still getting
shot down in my interviews,
15
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,366
which means
it's not Wellman.
16
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,659
It's got to be
something else.
17
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,077
And I gotta
figure this out quick
18
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,620
'cause I've got a job
interview later today
19
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,996
and we're running
out of money.
20
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:41,166
You never know what's
going on with interviewers.
21
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,961
You could look like
the guy's ex-wife.
22
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,796
You could be talking,
and he's sitting there thinking,
23
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:48,590
"I worshipped you, but you
took a bath with the gardener."
24
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,552
Also, you're older
and a woman.
25
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,721
It's a full-on
double hit.
26
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:58,350
Yeah, or people are just
intimidated by smart women.
27
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,851
They just don't come out
and tell you that.
28
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,646
Tell me about it. Try being
smart and having boobs.
29
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,692
Yeah.
I used to just be smart.
30
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,487
Hey, Darlene.
31
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,323
You free to pick up
Beverly Rose today after school?
32
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,075
Yeah.
Unfortunately, I don't have
33
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,202
any food deliveries
lined up.
34
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,454
Hey, if I drop her at your door
35
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,749
still hot and properly wrapped,
can I get a tip?
36
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,668
You know, if you need cash,
I could use some help
37
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,962
at the store this week
while Ben's out of town.
38
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,839
Wow. Really?
That would be great.
39
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,549
You're hired!
40
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,676
You realize, of course,
I can't pay you as much
41
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:35,012
because you're a smart old woman
and you intimidate me.
42
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:40,726
And you know that I could
substitute a laxative
43
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:43,228
for any one of your pills
and you wouldn't know.
44
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,231
Not right away.
45
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:50,235
♪
46
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,903
Becky, refill
on table three.
47
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,405
Becky: Okay.
48
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,531
[ Cellphone chimes ]
49
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,532
Oh.
What's up?
50
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,784
Oh. Oh.
51
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,620
It's Beverly Rose's teacher.
She wants to see me right away.
52
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,830
Beverly Rose okay?
53
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,166
Yeah, she's
acting out again.
54
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,084
I've been so busy
with school and work,
55
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,919
I haven't been spending
any time with her.
56
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:10,255
Well, you know,
kids are resilient.
57
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:14,009
Isn't that what you're supposed
to say when you neglect them?
58
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,428
[ Chuckles ]
I don't neglect her.
59
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,764
I'd love to be around her enough
to neglect her.
60
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,266
Ohh! Ow!
61
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,311
Ooh! My God!
Are you okay?
62
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,313
I'm fine. I'm not hurt. Yeah.
63
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,232
Good. Good.
'Cause you can't sue.
64
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,777
Everybody enters this restaurant
at their own risk!
65
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:35,280
It says so
right on the menu.
66
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,324
You know, I almost wish
that I was hurt.
67
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,076
Then I could at least
have some time off.
68
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,953
Yeah. Well... Wait.
69
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,497
What about
workman's comp?
70
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,540
What are you
talking about?
71
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,543
You pay for workman's comp,
but you never use it.
72
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,296
This way, I could take
two paid weeks off,
73
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,673
prepare for my finals,
74
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,758
and spend more time
with Beverly Rose!
75
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:55,884
Becky, I don't know.
76
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,302
Oh, please, Jackie.
77
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,554
I can't afford it otherwise.
78
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,015
Well, I don't-- I guess
I'd be a little shorthanded,
79
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,393
but maybe we could
make it work.
80
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,269
Thank you.
[ Chuckles ]
81
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,437
Could you help me up?
82
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,022
Yeah.
83
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,484
[ Grunts ] Aaah!
84
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,777
Y'all saw that, right?!
85
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:32,212
♪
86
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,215
- Captions by VITAC--
87
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,425
"The Conners" is filmed
88
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:39,010
in front of
a live studio audience.
89
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,304
I personally think
that candy
90
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,806
is the most important meal
of the day,
91
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,225
and I can prove that statement
with my dental records.
92
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:49,563
Heh. All dentures.
[ Chuckles ]
93
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,232
Anyway, I think this interview
went very well,
94
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,067
and I am definitely
keeping you
95
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,986
under consideration
for this position.
96
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,029
Ahh. I look forward
to hearing from you.
97
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,281
Thank you very much.
98
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,324
Thanks for stopping by.
99
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,492
Excuse me?
100
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,161
Uh, thanks
for stopping by.
101
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,912
Oh, okay.
"Thanks for stopping by"
102
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,790
is basically code for saying,
"We're never gonna hire you."
103
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,250
[ Squeakily ] Oh, no!
104
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,170
That is abso--
absolutely not true.
105
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,881
I just thought
it was very sweet
106
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,549
that you decided
to stop by.
107
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,887
Now, you take care
of yourself.
108
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,513
Wait.
"Take care of yourself"?
109
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,308
That's even worse than
"Thanks for stopping by."
110
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:29,561
They sound
pleasant enough.
111
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,854
Okay. Look.
112
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,607
This is my fourth rejection
in two weeks,
113
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,525
and, you know,
I need work.
114
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,736
You could really help me
by just being honest
115
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,279
and telling me
why you won't hire me.
116
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,199
Ooh. I never said
I wasn't gonna hire you.
117
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,868
I said I was keeping you
under consideration.
118
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,704
And that's very good.
119
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,540
Who would like a caramel chew
for the ride home?
120
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,083
I don't need
a parting gift.
121
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,335
I need a job.
122
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,462
[ Chuckles ]
I would hire you,
123
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,298
but I've still got to talk
to the guys upstairs.
124
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,176
It's a one-story building.
125
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:04,888
You are like
a funny Terrier.
126
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,432
I meant the people above me.
127
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,184
But who's above you?
It's Fudderman's Candy.
128
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,560
You're Fudderman.
129
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,356
You're forcing me to
be blunt here, Darlene.
130
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,901
I didn't want to come out
and say this, but I will.
131
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:22,614
You may or may not
get a job here.
132
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,407
Okay. Wait. So you're saying
that there actually--
133
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,535
There is a chance
that you would hire me.
134
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,120
More than a chance.
A possibility.
135
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,667
♪
136
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,043
Hey. You ready to go?
137
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:39,673
This Red Robin Groupon is
burnin' a hole in my pocket.
138
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,383
I'm still watching
Beverly Rose.
139
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,009
I'm just waiting
for Harris to take over.
140
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,220
Oh. Okay.
141
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,848
So, how was work today?
Not good.
142
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,141
Becky slipped and fell,
so she's out for two weeks.
143
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,227
Oh, my gosh!
Is she hurt bad?
144
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,729
Nah, she's just faking it
to get a couple of weeks
145
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,566
out of workman's comp so she can
catch up on some personal stuff.
146
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:01,111
But it's a pain in the ass!
[ Sighs ]
147
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:04,114
Yeah, and it's also
insurance fraud.
148
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,076
No, no, I'm just taking
advantage of an insurance policy
149
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,536
that I never use.
150
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,996
[ Scoffs ] Okay.
151
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,373
Workman's comp
isn't a savings account
152
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,543
that you can just dip into
whenever you feel like it.
153
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,004
If Becky gets caught, you both
could get a huge fine
154
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,255
and maybe even jail time.
155
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,215
Oh, come on!
156
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,509
I'm sure people
do it all the time.
157
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,678
Look. I've dealt with this
at the animal clinic.
158
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,305
If you're faking it,
159
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,765
they can pull your insurance,
shut you down,
160
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,059
and pretty soon you're
selling irregular jeans
161
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,478
out of your trunk
in a stadium parking lot.
162
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,857
[ Gasps ] I gotta talk to Becky
before she files that claim.
163
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:42,235
If I get shut down, it's not
gonna be for workman's comp!
164
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,612
It's gonna be by the Feds
165
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,865
for serving
USBA certified beef.
166
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,202
O-Okay. I don't think
you should be--
167
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,079
You heard nothing!
168
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,581
♪
169
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,374
[ Bell jingles ]
170
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,002
Welcome to Olinsky's.
171
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,129
How'd yesterday's
interviews go?
172
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:05,383
Bad. Another man intimidated
by an intelligent woman.
173
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,676
Well, that sucks.
174
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:07,802
Candy?
175
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,262
Uh, don't.
176
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,264
[ Bell jingles ]
177
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,558
Hi.
How can we help you?
178
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,518
Well, I'm turning my basement
into a she-shed
179
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,437
and I need something to
hang a couple of paintings
180
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,189
that I made during
Merlot-Paint night.
181
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:23,109
More merlot than paint,
if you know what I mean.
182
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,736
I don't, so I'm gonna
turn you over
183
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,822
to our she-shed expert, Darlene.
184
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,407
Alright. Um...
185
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,243
Well, I have to admit
I have never had a she-shed,
186
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,163
but I can certainly get you
a few hooks for your paintings.
187
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,790
You gotta get
a she-shed.
188
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:41,336
It's like a man cave, but you
can express your inner goddess.
189
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,671
Got it.
190
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,131
Um, but are you
really a goddess
191
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,467
if you can only express it
in one room of the house?
192
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,802
[ Chuckles ]
193
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,680
Okay. Uh, so, how-- how heavy
are these paintings?
194
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,223
Oh. I don't know.
195
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:56,518
They're about yea-by-yea.
196
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,144
Okay, so,
obviously you're not
197
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,980
the goddess of
weights and measures.
198
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,274
Oh. Um...
199
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:07,195
So, these hold anything
up to 30 pounds.
200
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,405
I'm sure they'll be fine.
201
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,115
Oh, great.
202
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:13,076
But there's three.
I only need two.
203
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,120
Why would I pay
for three?
204
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:19,791
Um, because
they're only $1.19
205
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,836
and you can save the extra one
for the next time
206
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,504
you need to
drink and paint
207
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:28,758
to rationalize why you're so
proud of having your own shed.
208
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,176
Is there a problem?
209
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,011
Maybe I should just
shop somewhere else.
210
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,223
Oh, no! Then we'll lose out
on a whole dollar!
211
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:38,017
I'm sorry. Could I be
of some assistance here?
212
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,769
I don't think so.
Thank you.
213
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,646
[ Chuckles ]
214
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:44,023
Oh, man.
215
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,568
God.
216
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:49,487
I'm gonna say something
I hope you find constructive.
217
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,864
Your professional demeanor
218
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:54,284
is somewhat combative
and condescending.
219
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,411
No, I was just
being honest
220
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,872
and I was trying to be funny
instead of just saying,
221
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,167
"You're annoying
and stupid, lady."
222
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:05,962
Okay. Are you being "honest"
and "funny" in your interviews?
223
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,548
Yes. That's my thing.
Why?
224
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,509
Well, maybe your "thing"
is keeping you unemployed.
225
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,095
No, everything you read
about going on interviews
226
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,513
says to
just be yourself.
227
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:18,141
That's assuming
"yourself" is pleasant.
228
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,893
Hey, I have been working
really hard
229
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,686
on being a positive person.
230
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:24,314
You can use positive words,
but if the energy underneath
231
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,358
is "put up your dukes,"
you're gonna put people off.
232
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,527
You know, what you see as me
"putting up my dukes"
233
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,155
is just me speaking my mind
and being forthright.
234
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,491
You know what? At least my
next interviewer is a woman,
235
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,825
and so she'll respect that,
236
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,577
and I'm sure
it will go a lot better.
237
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,872
I'm sorry I called you
condescending and combative.
238
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,958
I should have said
petite and delusional.
239
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,376
Men like you are the reason
240
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,962
women paint, drink,
and live in sheds.
241
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,799
[ Air rushes ]
242
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:56,096
So, Darlene, here
at DriveAmerica Tire,
243
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,722
we like to do things
a little different.
244
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,641
How do you feel about
getting your hands dirty?
245
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:02,519
I am not averse to getting
a little terra firma
246
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,480
under these fingernails
if it helps the company
247
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,942
achieve the fullest realization
of its mission statement.
248
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,528
You're smart.
I like that.
249
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,072
Yeah, you do.
250
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:17,117
But our customers don't.
They like plain talk.
251
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,702
And I'm gonna
be plain with you.
252
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,121
I'm looking
at your résumé,
253
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:24,332
and I like that you worked
in plastic for two years.
254
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:28,461
Um, my only concern
is that before that,
255
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,423
you were a writer
and you went to "art school."
256
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,467
Well, that's why
I'm looking for a job.
257
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,428
Because I went
to art school.
258
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,013
Ha! Yeah, well,
I can assure you--
259
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:41,850
nobody around here
went to art school.
260
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,894
Okay, yeah,
but having a creative side
261
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,230
doesn't mean
I wouldn't be a good hire.
262
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,773
I mean, I grew up
working class,
263
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,942
and I didn't start
in management at Wellman.
264
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,028
I started on the line,
and eventually I moved up.
265
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,282
Well, now we're working
in the plus column!
266
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,908
But we don't call it
moving "up."
267
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,035
We call it moving "over"
to management.
268
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,204
Because here, nobody's
better than anybody else.
269
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:10,003
Okay. But not everybody
makes the same pay, right?
270
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,881
Because I worked my ass off
to excel in management,
271
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,466
and so I think I deserve more
than somebody who didn't.
272
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,594
Yeah, well, there's no reason
to get defensive about it,
273
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,929
but, I mean, if this is all
about the money for you, then--
274
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,181
No, I'm here
because I love tires.
275
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,099
Of course
it's about the money!
276
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,394
I-I gotta feed my kids.
277
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,229
I'm not jumping through
all these hoops
278
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,106
so I can make
less than I did.
279
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,108
Okay. You're getting a little
worked up here, Darlene.
280
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,152
Well, no, I'm only
responding this way
281
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,904
because of the crazy thing
you said
282
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,615
about "moving over"
instead of "moving up."
283
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,701
[ Chuckles ]
284
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,536
I think it's time
you see yourself out.
285
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,121
Oh. Really?
286
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,916
Are you sure you don't mean
see myself "under" or "around"?
287
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,876
'Cause I'm not sure anybody
understands directions
288
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,294
around here.
289
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,842
Yeah. You know what?
290
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,385
I-I can see where maybe
291
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,805
I got a little combative
and condescending there.
292
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,599
That's totally my bad.
293
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,268
So, um...
may we start again?
294
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,729
[ Chuckles ]
Thanks for stopping by.
295
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,776
Yeah. That--
That sounds about right.
296
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:18,655
♪
297
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,325
[ British accent ]
Here comes Tiny Tim!
298
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,118
God bless us, everyone!
299
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,498
Here you go. Look.
I know I said it was okay,
300
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:31,459
but we can't go through with
this workman's comp claim.
301
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,836
I could lose my insurance
and go to jail.
302
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,089
I can't go to jail.
303
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:40,009
They'd pass me around like
a cheap pack of cigarettes!
304
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,469
But you own the business.
305
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,304
You're the only person
who would complain.
306
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,722
No, the insurance companies
307
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,307
seriously check
these things out.
308
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,475
It's not worth the risk.
309
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:51,020
My kid and my future
aren't worth the risk?
310
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,860
Fine. Guess I better be
getting back to work, then.
311
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,114
Look! I'm healed!
It's a miracle!
312
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:05,118
It's a crime.
What do you want me to do?
313
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,162
Oh. No, no. I'm okay.
314
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:12,000
I don't need a career
or a daughter who loves me.
315
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,459
I'm content
316
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,129
just giving this gentleman
a refill on his coffee.
317
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,463
He's drinking tea!
318
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,173
Well,
he's gettin' coffee!
319
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,928
Okay.
320
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:28,057
You were right. I am putting
people off with my attitude.
321
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:31,185
God bless you
for finally telling her.
322
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,229
I told you. You gotta change
what you're doing.
323
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,481
How? I've got a job
interview tomorrow.
324
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,525
What am I supposed to do--
not be myself?
325
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,945
You or me?
326
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,239
Let me start.
327
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:47,702
Mom, be as fake
as possible!
328
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,413
What? I have spent
my entire life
329
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,082
telling you kids, "Don't
be ashamed of who you are.
330
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,834
Don't change
for anybody."
331
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,919
You don't know how many times
I had to grab a beer
332
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,756
with some knucklehead
just to get a drywall contract
333
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:03,301
and tell him his wife
looked like Farrah Fawcett
334
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:06,012
when she looked more like
an actual faucet.
335
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,223
Well, I don't know
how you did that.
336
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,018
I did it because
I needed the job
337
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,978
more than I needed
to be honest.
338
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,649
Alright. Fine.
339
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,610
Who's having coffee here?
340
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,778
None of us.
341
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,404
Well, you are now.
342
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:26,949
♪
343
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,329
Darlene, you're
a very strong match
344
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:34,040
for the job
we're offering.
345
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,625
Bless your heart.
346
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,797
Let me tell you a little about
The Chicago Can Company.
347
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:44,717
We work hard here, but the key
to our success is we work fun!
348
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,970
For example, Fridays, we do
improv games for team building!
349
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,972
Yes, and...
350
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,849
I love improv!
351
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:55,019
The only thing I love
more than improv is magic!
352
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:58,940
Oh. Well, then you are going to
love our Magic Mondays.
353
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:02,276
What's that
behind your ear?
354
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:05,696
Oh! A 25% increase
in productivity?
355
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:08,366
[ Laughs ]
Oh, that is so clever!
356
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:09,951
Yeah.
357
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,452
Uh, with all this fun,
358
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,162
I can't believe
you get any work done.
359
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,872
Well, if we have to
work weekends
360
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:18,918
to ensure we have enough fun
during the week, we do it!
361
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,670
So, any questions for us?
362
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,213
I don't think so.
363
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:25,424
I mean, the salary is amazing.
The benefits are fantastic.
364
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,051
I certainly
come from a family
365
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:30,680
where cans are
a big part of our diet.
366
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,306
Darlene,
you're a perfect fit.
367
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,476
Oh, great. So when--
when can I start?
368
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,145
Well, we're working
this Saturday,
369
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,063
so you may as well
jump right in.
370
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,107
But I warn you--
we haze the newbies.
371
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,733
I hope you like
really long hugs.
372
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:46,112
[ Both laugh ]
373
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:50,199
Finally the human connection
I've been craving!
374
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,160
Alright.
I'll see you Saturday.
375
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,286
Okay.
376
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:05,173
Um, I'm sorry.
377
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:08,426
Can we start again?
You have not really met me.
378
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,719
What do you mean?
379
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,470
Uh, this is not me.
380
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,143
This is me.
381
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,603
Oh.
382
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,773
Did something tragic happen
the day they took your picture?
383
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,610
Nope.
384
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,987
I'm, uh--
I'm not a smiler.
385
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,072
Yeah, and I'm--
I'm not fun.
386
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,826
But I could be a great asset
to this company
387
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,828
and increase productivity.
388
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,581
Honestly, I think your people
would be much happier
389
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,209
and work harder
sacrificing the magic shows
390
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:43,753
if they didn't have to work
on the weekends.
391
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:47,173
Wow. It took a lot
of courage to say that.
392
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,258
But, "Thanks for
stopping by," right?
393
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,385
Well, clearly, the job
we're talking about
394
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,304
isn't right for you.
395
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,640
Yeah. I understand.
Thank you for your time.
396
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,685
Wait.
397
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,771
But I do have
a managerial position
398
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,856
that starts next month
in accounts receivable.
399
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,399
I need someone
who can be ruthless
400
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,401
and no-holds-barred
in collecting money.
401
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,904
Really?!
Oh, my God!
402
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:12,448
I've been on the other end
of those phone calls for years!
403
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,660
I've been waiting
for my turn! Yes!
404
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,161
[ Laughs ]
405
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:19,080
♪
406
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,333
Uh, hey, Beck?
407
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,210
I'm the one
who told Jackie
408
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,380
a fraudulent insurance claim
was a bad idea.
409
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,006
She was willing to do it,
410
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,884
so if you want to be mad
at somebody, be mad at me.
411
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,761
I needed some help
from my family, Neville.
412
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,513
Is that too much to ask?
413
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,766
Not at all, but you seem
to ask a lot from them
414
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,434
and you do it frequently.
415
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:43,104
Everybody in this family
does that!
416
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,065
Darlene moved back home
just like I did.
417
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,652
I-- I get
the family dynamic,
418
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,988
but you're now living
with Darlene,
419
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,156
everyone helps
with Beverly Rose,
420
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,285
your aunt gave you a job,
and now you're upset
421
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,203
because she won't help you
commit a felony?
422
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,997
I do stuff for her.
423
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,916
The other day, I opened
The Lunch Box at 6:00 a. m.--
424
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,418
by myself!
425
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,795
That's because
you had class at 7:00 a. m.
426
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:10,256
and wanted breakfast!
427
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,882
And when Jackie got here,
428
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,718
you were gone,
the door was wide open,
429
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,012
and there was a guy
sleeping in the kitchen!
430
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,391
Fine. I screwed up.
431
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:22,268
But I'm overwhelmed.
432
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,270
I have a kid
and I'm going to school,
433
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,314
and I'm doing it all sober.
434
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,569
Becky, my late brother had a lot
of substance problems, too,
435
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,321
so I learned a lot
about codependency,
436
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,114
and it's not
just substances.
437
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,241
You can become
overly dependent
438
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,202
on just about anything,
and that includes family.
439
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:49,420
You know, when you make me
realize I'm wrong so nicely,
440
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,339
it's harder to imagine
you being eaten
441
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,174
by one of your big snakes.
442
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,053
Thank you, sweetie. Okay.
443
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,304
I'll see you at home. Okay.
444
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,768
Hey, Jackie?
445
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,437
Um, I really do appreciate
446
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,980
everything that
you've done for me.
447
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,398
Thank you.
448
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,525
It was stupid to ask you
to do something illegal.
449
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,736
Well, I just couldn't risk
losing the business.
450
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,404
It's my life.
I know that.
451
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:19,492
And I made the mistake
of telling Dudley Do-Right.
452
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,495
I love the guy, but he's such
a straight arrow.
453
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,330
He even took away
my price gun
454
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,666
that I like to take
to T. J. Maxx.
455
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:30,127
♪
456
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,504
Hey.
457
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,298
I don't know
how you got in here,
458
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,342
but I'm not gonna
join your church.
459
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,595
I did it.
460
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,806
I became somebody
completely different,
461
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,099
and I got the job.
462
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,017
Congratulations!
463
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,770
And then I lost it
because I couldn't imagine
464
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,147
being that person every day
for the rest of my life.
465
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,524
That tracks.
466
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,695
However, then
I got another job
467
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,572
because they need somebody
in accounts receivable
468
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,075
who is combative
and condescending.
469
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,661
That also tracks.
470
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:07,581
So... I stopped and
bought this to celebrate.
471
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,166
Champagne.
472
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:12,169
Ooh! Beer's high-falutin'
French cousin!
473
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,549
So how are you feeling?
474
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,551
I feel good.
475
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,636
Yeah, like I was tested,
476
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,222
and I was totally ready
to throw out everything I am
477
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,474
to take care of my family,
and then...
478
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,810
I don't know. I just felt like
I was lying to somebody.
479
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,603
And when I told the truth,
480
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,148
it paid off
and I got a job anyway.
481
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,358
So what you've learned is
there's room for combative
482
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,862
and condescending people
in this world, too.
483
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,030
Hey, at least
I'm not a liar.
484
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,744
Well, no, of course
I lie all the time, but...
485
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,580
not to this guy
and not today,
486
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,039
and that's what counts.
487
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,708
Live for the moment, right?
488
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,918
Cheers.
489
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,087
Zut alors.
Zut alors!
490
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,050
- Uh, apple pie, please.
- Slice of apple.
491
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,178
Ahh! [ Chuckles ] I only
have one piece left.
492
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,930
Oh. You take it.
493
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,683
Thank you, but it is yours,
I insist.
494
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:10,352
That is so kind,
but I can't enjoy it
495
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,146
with you sitting there
wanting it.
496
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,856
[ Chuckles ]
Aren't you an angel.
497
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:16,484
But, nope, I have cleared it
from my mind.
498
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,444
Well, we're gonna have
more pie tomorrow,
499
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,489
so see if you two can
"polite it out" by then.
500
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:25,201
What a bitch.
37126
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof