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1
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:04,588
♪♪
2
00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,340
Look at us,
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,009
getting up early
to do our homework.
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,678
This way, we're not
in Aunt Darlene and
Uncle Ben's way,
5
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,388
and they can enjoy
their new house.
6
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,184
Honey.
7
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,978
Where's your
clay dinosaur?
8
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:24,149
I don't know.
It was here a minute ago.
9
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,444
It's okay,
we can fix it.
10
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,695
Okay.
11
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,280
Uh, you know what?
12
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,366
Let's just call this a rock
and move on.
13
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,036
Mommy's got a lot of work
to do on her psych paper.
14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,287
Okay, I get it.
15
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,164
You don't like me
working in bed.
16
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,124
Is it really
that big a deal?
17
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,376
Yeah, because you
leave the lights on
18
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,752
half the night, too.
19
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,337
I had a dream the cops were
trying to get me
20
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,797
to confess
to something.
21
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,965
I-I told them
I did it
22
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,884
just so I could go to prison
where it's dark.
23
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,262
Look, it's my bed, too,
so, I don't know,
24
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,430
can't you just
wear a sleep mask?
25
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,391
No, because I can hear
you typing, too.
26
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,810
Well, then
wear earplugs.
Oh, really?
27
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,436
Well, why don't I just
shove a rag in my mouth
28
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,229
so that
I can't complain?
29
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,023
That would be terrible.
30
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,235
And it's not about that.
31
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,861
It's about catching up
at the end of the day.
32
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,154
[ Sighs ]
That's the time where
we're supposed to be
33
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,739
talking to each other.
34
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,366
Come on, sweetie.
35
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,451
Let's leave Aunt Darlene
and Uncle Ben alone
36
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,661
before you start thinking
37
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,663
this is what a normal marriage
looks like.
38
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,250
The computer on the bed
39
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,751
isn't the only thing
that's annoying me.
40
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,211
There's other stuff,
too, you know.
41
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:29,381
Whoa, just what I love
in an argument -- add-ons.
42
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,927
And -- And I almost
killed myself
43
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,429
tripping over
your sweater.
44
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,763
You know, we've got
a brand-new house,
45
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,349
and you're just
throwing stuff on the floor.
46
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,810
I bet even Beverly Rose
wouldn't throw her stuff
47
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,937
all over the floor.
48
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,731
I don't want to be
a part of this.
49
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,404
You see? Even children
know you're wrong
50
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,447
and don't want to be
anywhere near you.
51
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,701
♪♪
52
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,244
Where's Ben?
53
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,955
He loves weird, old movies
like "Urban Cowboy."
54
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,498
He's still at
the hardware store.
55
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,042
We're keeping it open
till 9:00 now.
56
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,294
Hm.
57
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,463
You see Travolta
and Debra Winger in bed?
58
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,006
You notice neither of them
are working.
59
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,386
Did all those country bars
really have mechanical bulls?
60
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,305
Was that a thing?
61
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,057
Oh, not only
country bars.
62
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,183
They had 'em
at county fairs.
63
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,310
They even had one
at the mall.
64
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,853
They took it out
after some drunk woman
65
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,146
got thrown into
a fountain.
66
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,400
I rode one once
at the county fair.
67
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,985
Stayed on for the full ride
and then some.
68
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,154
Broke the record.
69
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:38,408
Hmm, you were
pretty big back then.
70
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:41,328
Uh, are you sure the bull
was actually moving,
71
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,457
or did it drop to its knees
and beg for mercy?
72
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,960
Actually, they set it on high
and put it in reverse,
73
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,087
and they still couldn't
throw me off.
74
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,257
I think you're remembering
it wrong.
75
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,550
Mom told me
you were so drunk,
76
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,970
you fell off the bull
before it even started
77
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,305
and just laid
on the mat going,
78
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,724
"Get a picture!
I'm doing it!"
79
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,186
Not true.
80
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,606
Your mom was just trying
to get you guys to laugh.
81
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,483
Or maybe you're remembering
what she said wrong.
82
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,193
I was there.
I know it happened.
83
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,112
Oh, it's okay, Dad.
84
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,405
You're getting older.
85
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,490
It's natural to
look back on your life
86
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,492
and feel like you wasted it
and make up a lot of crap.
87
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,578
I'm not
doing that.
88
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,455
Your mom took a video
of me riding the bull,
89
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,832
if you need to see it
for proof.
90
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,667
I-It's not a big deal,
Grandpa.
91
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,043
I'm sure you
rode the bull...
92
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,837
and you were a hero
in World War II,
93
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,798
and you invented
the cotton gin.
94
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,967
I mean, those are
really cool stories,
95
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,009
even if they
aren't true.
96
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,179
You know
I wasn't in World War II.
97
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,975
Wow, that's a huge thing
to forget, Grandpa.
98
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,729
Alright, you've all
had your fun.
99
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:52,649
Now I'm gonna prove I'm right
by showing you
100
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,025
that video
your mom took.
101
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,486
I got
a whole box of 'em
102
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,321
right back here
in this closet somewhere.
103
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,158
I'm sure I put that box
in here.
104
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,995
You sure you didn't leave it on
the beaches of Normandy?
105
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,457
What are you doing?
106
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:11,293
I'm getting this all on video
'cause, later on,
107
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,044
you are gonna say
that you knew exactly
108
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,171
where the box was
the whole time.
109
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:33,607
♪♪
110
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,610
- - Captions by VITAC --
111
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,153
"The Conners" is recorded
112
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,071
in front of a livestudio audience.
113
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,281
Hey, I really
need your help.
114
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,949
You got a minute?
Becky: No.
115
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,410
I've got a paper on
the moralities of everyday life
116
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,662
due by midnight, and it counts
for two-thirds of my grade.
117
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:48,747
Sorry.
Oh.
118
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,624
Well, this definitely
is about that.
119
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,669
Your sister put
a parental lock
120
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,921
on my computer.
121
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,258
And I can't log in to work
after 11:00 p. m.
122
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,761
Looks like that's
your new bedtime.
123
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,553
I told you
she was nuts.
124
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,763
Byyye.
125
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,099
I have to work in bed.
126
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,227
I can't do my paperwork
at the hardware store.
127
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,937
There's too many
interruptions.
128
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,438
I mean,
when I get into bed,
129
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,524
I can really focus.
130
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,818
You know, I'm already
staying open longer hours,
131
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,946
but I'm trying to find
other ways to increase profits.
132
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:23,865
Anyway, do you know
Darlene's passwords?
133
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,159
Is it birthdays,
uh, names, what?
134
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,410
That'd be way too obvious.
135
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,870
Have you tried
"flannel-bitch-queen"?
136
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:29,913
Ooh, no.
137
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,084
That's all lowercase,
no spaces?
138
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,295
No! Man!
139
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,755
Now I'm locked out
for 15 minutes.
140
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,384
Look, I'm trying
to finish this paper.
141
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,468
You gotta go.
142
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,387
Oh, of course. I'm sorry.
You go ahead.
143
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,513
If you don't mind,
I'm just going to sit here
144
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,098
and cool off,
145
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,891
keep trying things
when this thing opens back up.
146
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,142
That's fine.
147
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,520
[ Sighs ] Damn it!
148
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,189
I mean, there are so many
other things to worry about,
149
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,274
and this is what
she picks?
150
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,864
Sorry.
Do your thing.
151
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,288
I don't know
what her problem is!
152
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,623
It's like, look at us.
Look at us.
153
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,250
You need to work,
and I'm leaving you alone.
154
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,167
Why can't she
do that for me?!
155
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:21,882
♪♪
156
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,635
Let me guess --
Somebody hid a KitKat bar,
157
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,846
and now he can't remember
where he put it.
158
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,558
No, I'm looking for
the damn family movies.
159
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,685
Don't you have someone
waiting for you at home?
160
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,687
I told Louise
I'd check on you
161
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,022
while she's on tour.
162
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,815
So, are you
feeling dizzy?
163
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,609
Have blurred vision?
Shortness of breath?
164
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,444
Slurred speech?
165
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,112
Only since
you walked in.
166
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,864
Alright, well,
then you're fine
167
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,616
and I'm on
a beer break.
168
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,328
You could take
your beer break at home,
169
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,288
'cause I'm not some
doddering old-timer
170
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,623
that needs to be
checked on.
171
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,374
Yeah. You know,
you really ought to get
172
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,710
all those tapes
and movies digitized.
173
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,962
It's 2023, Nana.
174
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,132
Hold it.
175
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,383
I've heard that
somewhere before.
176
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,843
You!
177
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:09,387
You said that, like,
four years ago,
178
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,931
and I gave you
the movies to digitize!
179
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,099
No, you didn't.
Must be somebody else.
180
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,687
No, I know I gave them
to you, Nana.
181
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,814
And I need that tape of me
riding the mechanical bull
182
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:20,815
to show the kids.
183
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,859
That's nice,
but I don't have them.
184
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,694
I hate those bulls.
185
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,154
One of them --
186
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,239
One of them threw me
in the fountain at the mall.
187
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:34,287
Is this about you
worrying about your memory
188
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,706
because of everything
going on with my mom?
189
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,084
No, this is about losing
all our family's memories.
190
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,502
You have to have
that stuff, Jackie.
191
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,753
I don't.
192
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:42,754
I went through
everything before
193
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,422
I moved in
with Neville, Dan.
194
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,465
Then you lost them!
195
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,133
You're always doing crap
like this!
196
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,552
You didn't
give me anything!
197
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,305
And I'm tired of you
blaming me for everything!
198
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,516
That's what you've been doing
for the past 40 years!
199
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,642
And how come
it's always because
200
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,435
I'm some
flibberty-jibbit
201
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,646
and it's never
because you're wrong?!
202
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,106
Because I'm not wrong!
203
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,024
You've been doing stuff
without thinking for years,
204
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,318
like when you took Darlene
to see "The Exorcist"
205
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,319
when she was 10.
206
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,987
That's why
she's the way she is.
207
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,449
I didn't know what
the movie was about!
208
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,452
And by the time I did,
209
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,037
that devil thing
had obviously
210
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,205
flown off the screen
211
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,998
and embedded itself
in her soul.
212
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,211
But you weren't careful!
213
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,422
And now you've lost
our entire family history --
214
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,506
everything
I had of Roseanne,
215
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,216
everything of the kids.
216
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,384
It's like
we never existed.
217
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,635
No, I would never.
218
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:33,722
I would guard
every painful, pathetic,
219
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,141
impoverished moment
with my life.
220
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,351
You're remembering
things wrong,
221
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,103
And I'm
remembering it right.
222
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,272
No!
Yeah!
223
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,691
Now your feelings
are hurt, too!
224
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,067
♪♪
225
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,283
♪♪
226
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,160
What part
of my caffeine shakes
227
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,828
and cortisol-induced BO
says to you,
228
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,371
"Come sit for a spell"?
229
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,458
I-I need to talk.
230
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,334
Ben made me
unlock his computer,
231
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,295
and now he's hiding away
from me in the basement
232
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,838
instead of
coming to bed.
233
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,256
Problem solved.
Byyye!
234
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,426
I think he's avoiding me.
You know what?
235
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,469
He spends a lot of time
with you.
236
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,928
Has he said anything
about avoiding me?
237
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,014
No, but I'm sure he is.
We all are.
238
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,018
Look, I really need
to finish this paper.
239
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,480
Oh, my God, I only have
two minutes to send it in.
240
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,398
Alright,
I only need one.
241
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,983
Do you think that
Ben is avoiding me
242
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,568
because he's not
attracted to me anymore?
243
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,195
Well, it's not like
you let yourself go.
244
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,155
You let yourself go
in kindergarten, so no.
245
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,492
Yeah,
I didn't think so.
246
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,743
So then what is it?
247
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,287
Is he avoiding me
because I've been
248
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:40,955
so fanatical
about the house?
249
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,999
That's gotta be it.
Byyye!
250
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,959
Because you know what?
251
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,169
It could also be
that I pressured --
252
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,629
Nope! Get out!
253
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:49,964
[ Cellphone alarm rings ]
254
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,383
Oh. Oh.
255
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,551
Send, send, send, send,
send, send, send,
256
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,845
send, send,
send, send, send!
257
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,722
Oh!
258
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:01,935
You're not getting
any work done.
259
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,269
Stop playing Wordle.
260
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,687
Nobody cares
if you get it in three.
261
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,357
I'm not
playing Wordle.
262
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,733
I'm checking
the school portal
263
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,318
for the grade
on my paper.
264
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,028
Damn!
265
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,488
Nothing yet.
266
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,573
I know my professor's
gonna drop it a grade
267
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,534
for being late,
but please make it be
268
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,701
a "B" and not a "C."
269
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,953
Why was it late?
270
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,287
[ Sighs ]
Now that it's just me,
271
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,872
Darlene, and Ben
in the house,
272
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,874
they've started dumping
all their problems on me
273
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,167
instead of working it out
with each other.
274
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,086
Ugh!
Childish.
275
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,295
Grown-ups have
to have the guts
276
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,296
to say
what's on their mind.
277
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,968
I'm not
talking to you!
278
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,469
Please tell your aunt
279
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,346
that I am the one
not talking to her.
280
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,682
Well, ask your father
what he's doing here, then.
281
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,977
You know, sound does not
stop at me.
282
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,563
The two of you
can hear each other.
283
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,023
I only came in here
because I have a tab.
284
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,692
Hopefully, Jackie didn't
send my burger
285
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:51,860
to get digitized
286
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,028
and serve my home movies
to a different customer.
287
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,197
Here's your
dumb burger.
288
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,991
You know why I didn't
lose the order?
289
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,160
Because this time,
you actually gave it to me.
290
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,913
What is going on?
291
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,333
[ Sighs ] Jackie lost all our
family pictures and home movies.
292
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,835
Ugh, your memory is going,
old man.
293
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,795
This was all you.
294
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,422
Oh, my God,
you guys lost everything
295
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,507
from our childhood?
296
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,593
I-I was gonna show
Beverly Rose all that
297
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:19,512
to prove that Darlene
has always looked like
a sad little rag doll
298
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,222
and I've been
stunning since birth.
299
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:25,518
Well, maybe if
your aunt realized
300
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,228
she has the memory
of an old prizefighter,
301
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,689
she'd take responsibility
and start looking for them.
302
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,150
I don't care
who's to blame.
303
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:35,111
Not counting Bev,
you guys are the oldest two
304
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,197
living members
of this family.
305
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,074
You need to sit down
and record our family history
306
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,117
before it's gone forever.
307
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,205
Tell your father,
308
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,665
if he's willing to do it,
I will.
309
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,626
Oh, my God.
310
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,462
Are you serious?
311
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,589
You want your kid to know
you were a hot baby or not?
312
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,549
Fine.
313
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,759
Jackie says,
314
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,510
if you're willing
to do it, she is.
315
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,513
Tell her
I'll do it, too,
316
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,682
but don't make it sound like
I rolled over too easy.
317
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,852
[ Cellphone chimes ]
318
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:13,274
Oh, God bless America!
Ugh!
319
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,109
This whole Darlene and Ben thing
has gotta stop.
320
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,486
What happened?
321
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,906
My professor did not accept
my late paper,
322
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,034
and now I have to take
the whole damn class over again.
323
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,328
Well, when you start out
as a hot baby,
324
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:27,538
it's all downhill
from there.
325
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,916
♪♪
326
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,713
Hey, could you
come in here?
327
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,049
[ Door closes ]
328
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,467
No.
329
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,054
Both of you
on the couch, now.
330
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,765
Okay, I'm not even
going to comment
331
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,517
that Ben's clothes
are all over the couch,
332
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,726
but why don't we go
talk in his closet?
333
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:49,769
It's probably empty.
334
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,898
Well, that's a fun idea.
Let's do it.
335
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,191
I'll meet you there.
336
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,276
If you hear the car starting,
just ignore it.
337
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,615
Because you both
kept yammering at me,
338
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,993
I have to take my entire class
all over again!
339
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,787
Oh, man.
Sorry about that.
340
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,248
Oh, I'm so sorry, Becky.
341
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:11,416
Is there
anything I can do?
342
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,750
Yeah!
343
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,627
You two clowns
can sit there
344
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,587
while I help you
work through this.
345
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,047
What's going on
with you guys
346
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,091
is textbook stuff,
literally.
347
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:25,346
Right here,
page 142 --
348
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,807
"subconscious blaming."
349
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,893
You're working late
and doing paperwork in bed
350
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,353
to punish Darlene.
351
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,730
I knew it was
his fault.
352
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,564
How can we fix him?
353
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:37,859
We have to get
to the root of why
354
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,235
he's punishing you.
355
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,236
Ben.
356
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,155
Hmm?
357
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,698
You're working
longer hours,
358
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,699
and you told me that
359
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,284
you're trying
to increase profits.
360
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,994
Mm-hmm.
How dare you?
361
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,041
Wait, I think I need
to hear more.
362
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:58,880
Is it possible that you resent
having to work so hard
363
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,965
because Darlene isn't
making as much money?
364
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,259
Is that it?
365
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,927
[ Sighs ]
Because when
I quit Wellman,
366
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,430
you said you were okay
with me delivering food
367
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,098
while I looked for
the right management position.
368
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,017
Yes,
I did say that.
369
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,852
But it isn't true,
is it?
370
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,189
No.
[ Exhales deeply ]
371
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,357
This is good.
372
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,651
Tell Darlene how
you really feel.
373
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:24,655
Well, I meant what I said
at the time,
374
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,365
but now, I feel like
I'm the only one
375
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,867
that's freaking out
about money.
376
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,078
And, look, I'm so stressed,
I've become sloppy.
377
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,123
Well, I'm just trying
to be optimistic.
378
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,958
Well, stop.
379
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,214
Oh, my God, so you've just
been lying in bed hating me?
380
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,256
Yes.
Kinda.
381
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,469
Well, why didn't you
tell me?
382
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,387
Well, I didn't wanna
come off like an ass.
383
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,683
Well, Ben, we have to be
totally honest with each other,
384
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,352
even if you think that
makes you the bad guy.
385
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,147
Alright, look,
I promise to find something
386
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,649
as quickly as I can.
387
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,818
And then
it will be my turn
388
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,653
to resent you
for making me settle.
389
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,490
Aww, see,
that's all I'm asking.
390
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,284
See this?
391
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,286
We're talking,
we're resenting.
392
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,873
We're leaving Becky
the hell alone.
393
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,339
So, uh...
394
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,257
resentful sex?
395
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:26,968
Well, that's how I always
have it, but okay.
396
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,473
♪♪
397
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,142
Thank you for the setup.
I will start.
398
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,726
I do remember
one of the movies
399
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,604
was all of us
on vacation
400
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,231
at Sault Ste. Marie,
Michigan.
401
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:41,566
Dan: Oh, yeah.
402
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,109
We stayed at that place
403
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,777
with the cool
miniature golf course
404
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,779
they built
underground.
405
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,239
It was like having fun
406
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,949
waiting for
nuclear winter to pass.
407
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,076
Yes, and I remember
that we all
408
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,203
had to split
a small cheese pizza
409
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,788
because,
according to him,
410
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:56,998
I should've
pushed my way
411
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,583
through
the children's orchestra
412
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,544
to grab
the last large.
413
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,629
As someone who was
in a children's orchestra,
414
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,214
I can tell you,
they don't get out a lot,
415
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,174
and you wouldn't have
won that fight.
416
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,594
No,
that was the Dells.
417
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,554
We didn't eat
at the mini-golf place
418
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,306
'cause we were trying
to get D. J. unstuck
419
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,599
from the giant
clown's mouth.
420
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,642
Oh, yeah!
Now I remember that.
421
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,894
I remember.
422
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,145
We could've
got him out faster,
423
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,230
but it looked like
the clown was eating a kid,
424
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,482
so we just let
everybody take pictures.
425
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,652
Um, Aunt Jackie,
426
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,946
I remember seeing a picture of
you in a giant snowstorm.
427
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,031
Did you guys take
any movies of that?
428
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,282
Oh, no.
Thank God.
429
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:32,909
That was the day
I stole my dad's car
430
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,744
and I got stuck out
by the forest preserve.
431
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,246
I was lucky that
AAA got to me.
432
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,248
AAA?
433
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,249
Who in this family
434
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,752
you think
could afford that?
435
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,170
That was me
and my buddy, JR.
436
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,171
He had a tow truck.
437
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,381
Oh, my God, that's right.
That was you!
438
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,758
Oh, my God.
439
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,343
I can't believe
I forgot that.
[ Chuckles ]
440
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,844
I can.
441
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,721
You're 0 for 2.
442
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,890
And you're all over me,
saying that I'm losing it.
443
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,475
Maybe
you're the old guy
444
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:58,601
that can't
remember anything.
445
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,812
Uh, can you kids
give us a minute?
446
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:02,897
Okay?
447
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:06,943
[ Sighs ]
Okay, this is enough.
448
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,361
We're fighting in front
of the kids.
449
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,112
I'm willing to admit
450
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,781
that I'm capable
of forgetting things.
451
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,909
I was being overly defensive
about you blaming me
452
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,703
because I'm not
that much younger than you,
453
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:18,704
and I'm just
as worried about
454
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,248
losing my memory
as you are.
455
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,417
Alright, well,
if we're being honest,
456
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:27,171
I'm only 99% sure
I gave you the home movies.
457
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,131
And when I say 99,
I mean 50.
458
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,343
Really?
459
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,803
You know how it is
when you get older.
460
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,847
You're afraid that
every little thing
461
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,724
means something bigger
is coming.
462
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,560
Yeah, or maybe
it's just that,
463
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,936
you know,
you just don't remember,
464
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,230
and that's all it is.
465
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,440
I mean, the -- the one thing
that we're sure of
466
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,901
is that one of us
forgot something.
467
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,113
So maybe it doesn't matter
who lost the tapes, right?
468
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,197
Between the two of us,
469
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,533
we've got
one good working brain,
470
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,578
and we can help the kids
remember some of the fun things
471
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,496
that happened
on the home movies.
472
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,498
Yeah, I...
473
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,874
I think we're done.
474
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,797
Most of the other movies
were of us eating at the table.
475
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,048
Oh, no.
476
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,717
You're saying that
because,
477
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:16,470
while Roseanne was trying to
create a childhood for the kids,
478
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,015
you were mostly
eating at the table.
479
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,558
You know what?
480
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:23,519
Roseanne wrote all kinds
of crap down in her diary.
481
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,479
Maybe something in there
would remind us.
482
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,522
You know
where that's at?
483
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,857
That I do know.
484
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,525
It's in a box on the top shelf
of the cabinet
485
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,736
where the mugs
and glasses are.
486
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:32,737
I never looked
through it
487
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,779
'cause I thought
it'd be kinda rough.
488
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,072
Well, okay.
489
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,282
Alright, well,
I promise
490
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,075
I won't read
any of the sex stuff
491
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,827
she wrote about you,
although she did say
492
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,621
it took you a while
to get the hang of it.
493
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,753
Hey, you're --
you're 12 feet tall.
494
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:49,920
Reach for that box,
would you?
495
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,589
It's the least
I can do
496
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,966
after you spent so much time
on that clever insult.
497
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,512
Okay.
Okay.
498
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:02,433
I'm look--
Oh, holy crap.
499
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,559
He does
have this stuff.
500
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,852
Wow!
Oh.
501
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,562
After the hard time
he gave you,
502
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,064
you can really shove this
down Grandpa's throat
503
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,106
and make him
choke on it.
504
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:11,609
[ Sighs ]
Look what's become of me.
505
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,361
This is what happens
when you're raised by wolves.
506
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,904
No, no.
507
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,572
Slow down, Stretch.
508
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:17,823
I'm not gonna shame him
509
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,617
just so I can prove
that I was right.
510
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,119
I want you to put that stuff
in my trunk.
511
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,956
Dan, you're not
gonna believe it.
512
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,333
What?
I just remembered.
513
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,877
You did give me
all of the movies and tapes.
514
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,504
They're in
my hall closet.
515
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,756
[ Laughs ]
Oh, thank God!
I knew it!
516
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,800
I knew I wasn't
losing my mind!
517
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,551
Yeah, see, it could have been
either one of us.
518
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:38,844
This time,
it was me.
519
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,513
It's gonna be you
next time, too.
520
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,015
My brain is still
sharp as ever.
521
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,101
Well, we're both
getting older,
522
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,269
but the important thing is
we found them,
523
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,562
and I'll bring them by
tomorrow.
524
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,897
Are you gonna remember
to do that?
525
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,649
Do you need to write it
on your hand or something?
526
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,277
Well, I thought we agreed
it didn't matter.
527
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,862
That was when
there was a chance
528
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,239
it could've been me.
529
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,199
Yeah, but, you know,
it could've been you.
530
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,743
I could've gone in the kitchen
and found them in there.
531
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:03,911
But you didn't.
532
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,538
But I could have.
But you didn't.
533
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,915
Uh, you know what, Dan?
534
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,959
I didn't.
535
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:13,045
And I'm happy it was me
who forgot and not you.
536
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,840
Don't be so hard
on yourself.
537
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,216
Leave that for me.
538
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,802
Yeah. Okay.
539
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,303
Well, I gotta go.
540
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,680
Uh, by the way,
541
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,141
I might not have
all of them, okay?
542
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,476
I think the one of you
riding the bull
543
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:31,897
is probably
gonna be missing.
544
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,066
♪♪
545
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,867
Did you and Aunt Jackie find
any good stories in the diary?
546
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,077
I can't bring myself
to read it.
547
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,579
You want me
to read it to you?
548
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,289
I can just skip anything
I think might hurt you.
549
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,041
That'd be great.
Yeah.
550
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,793
Okay.
551
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,462
Alright, let's see.
552
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:58,966
Um, this is from
January 1985.
553
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,051
You had meatloaf
that night.
554
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:06,223
Um, that's about
all I can tell you.
555
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:10,352
Okay. Uh, thanks,
but read me the good stuff.
556
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,353
I wanna hear that.
557
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,147
Okay.
558
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,699
Stop!
559
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,117
We had meatloaf.
560
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,494
That's good enough
for me.
39971
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