Original subtitles

[melodic music]

[tense music]

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[woman] Richard Volkman?

Are you ready?

[man screams]

[grunts]

[music accelerates]

[grunts]

[Chris] Richard!

What's up, dude?

[Keegan] Man, here he is.

What's up, man? You all right?

Yeah, I'm great.

You sure, 'cause you know you weren't in class, so...

Thanksgiving break.

I just thought I'd start a little early.

- He's getting started early. - True.

He's not getting started early, he's doing one big...

Do the fucking test, man, don't fucking lie to me.

What's up. [chuckles]

[Keegan] [unclear] ...boys.

Are you sure you're okay, man?

Fuck you.

- So... - [laughing]

- [indistinct chatter] - [ice clinks]

- No, no, no... - [burps] Excuse me.

I'm sorry, no, talk of death, but, that sneeze you had...

[laughing]

Okay, okay.

If we're just jumping around between topics, okay,

I got something to say, okay?

- Go ahead. - What, what, what?

This is our last Thanksgiving together, right?

- [Chris] Mm-hmm. - I mean, who knows

when we're going to go down these roads again, right?

- Yeah. - [Keegan] Yeah.

We're grown men for fuck's sake, okay,

we don't got to spend every goddamn holiday

with our parents.

Well, I mean, I don't agree with that.

I don't know.

Oh! [blows a raspberry]

No, fuck it! Let's do it. Let's just stay here.

I mean, like, yeah,

I can use some quality time to just smoke weed and write.

Right attitude.

You know, I actually have this really good idea for a film.

So, it's these... These four dudes.

Right?

- Four dudes and... - We could throw a party.

- Better attitude. - Yeah!

Because we could do whatever we want.

- Yeah. - [all laughing]

We still can, I mean, all this shit

can turn on a dime.

- All right, all right. - [Rich] Yes.

Atta boy.

Is that four?

- That's four. - That's four, baby.

- Yes! - Yeah!

Hey Aaron, another round.

Plus tequila.

[all laugh]

- Get some max legs. - [laughing]

Hey, Mom.

How you doing?

Oh.

Yeah, yeah, that's... [unclear]

[distant siren]

Yeah, look Mom...

I don't, I don't think I'm going to be able to...

come home for... Thanksgiving.

I've just got some stuff to do.

Yeah, I've got to go. We'll talk about it.

Okay, bye.

Let's just fucking go.

- [Rich] Let's go. - [Chris] Let's go.

Was that your mom?

[Chris] I'm not saying, listen,

I'm not saying that she was flirting with me specifically.

I'm just saying that...

That she just brought my water first.

That's all I'm fucking saying.

- And then, then... - She brought your water first.

[Chris] That's usually a sign that somebody likes you.

That's all I'm saying.

That's all I'm saying.

Well...

[Keegan] Chris, that waitress did not want to fuck you.

- [Chris] Yes, she fucking did. - She did not, man.

- [Chris] Don't you fucking... - It's her job to be nice.

[Chris] I don't know if she poured my water.

I was sitting on the end seat.

Hey, does anyone know what this is?

How it got in my jacket?

[Keegan chuckling] No, no...

It's fucking read Richard, man.

- [chuckling] - That's what that is.

You need to open your fucking eyes.

That's what that is.

[Keegan] Have you got your third eye on it?

[Chris] I've got a third eye, baby, yeah.

You are cordially invited to The Show.

An interactive theatre adventure in three acts.

Come ready to play.

[Chris] Oh, I'm ready to fucking play.

Wednesday morning, 11 a.m.

Uh-huh.

Wait, what's an interactive theatre adventure?

Oh, it's like, it's like a... an escape room,

but like...

with theatre people, and, you know what I mean?

Okay, I know what he means, it's...

It's like the haunted house the Kings Dominion.

- [Chris] Right, yeah. - [Dillon] Right?

[baby voice] The one where the dope head was so scared.

[chuckling]

But, should we go?

- [Keegan] Fuck, yeah. - We should go, right?

It sound's great.

Eleven a.m. Rise and shine, boys.

[laughs]

[Dillon] We're going to The Show.

[Keegan] Yeah, to the fucking show baby.

Eleven o'clock.

- Rise and shine. - [ambient music]

[Dillon] Cool. Fuck.

[laughing]

[Keegan] We'll be okay.

[cymbals clash]

[Keegan] Is it tomorrow?

Tomorrow, tomorrow.

- Tomorrow, tomorrow. - [water pours]

We got an hour.

[Andi] Are you fucking kidding me?

I already told my parents you were coming.

My mom's set a place card for you.

I'm sorry. This is... It's just something I got to do.

This is so fucking typical.

- [Rich] Hey, Dillon. - Richie, do you mind?

Hey, Andrea.

[Dillon] Listen.

This could be the last Thanksgiving with the guys.

Yeah, well, I guess it's ours too.

Oh, come on, Andi.

Fuck you.

Well, happy Thanksgiving.

["The Elephant in the Room" by Pickled Bones LLC]

[all] Aah!

[Keegan] To The Show.

You are all duly invited to get fucked up, bitches.

- [laughing] - [cheering]

[all] To The Show.

[Chris] Holly shit.

[grunts]

[all] L'chaim.

Yeah.

Whoo.

Okay. Buzzer.

Oh, fuck!

[Dillon] There you go.

- [coughs] - [all laughing]

Fucking go.

♪ I know you've got That feeling ♪

You can't rush an artist.

♪ And who was ever hurt By a little too much ♪

♪ Ambition ♪

♪ There's nothing left For you here ♪

[coughs]

♪ The flowers bloomed too early This year ♪

Richie, you're a genius.

Staying in this room was the best idea.

[laughing]

♪ If you want it You should get it ♪

♪ So just take it So no one takes it away ♪

[coughs]

[muffled speech]

[laughing]

All right, now.

♪ But what do I know ♪

♪ I'm just the one who wrote The whole thing down ♪

♪ Trying to keep myself From getting far too familiar ♪

♪ So try and catch the sunrise ♪

♪ And when you get there Pour a round on me ♪

♪ Let's all raise a glass ♪

♪ To those with a strong ♪

Let's get on with the fucking show

♪ Demeanor ♪

♪ But never mind what I say ♪

♪ If you want it You should get it ♪

♪ So just take hope No one takes it away ♪

Yeah, it's fine.

I'm going to have a fucking blast.

[laughs]

[Keegan] Off we go, lads. Going on an adventure.

[Rich] Yo, this is it. This is it, this is it.

[Keegan] Oh, cool.

This looks so... It's cool.

[soft chuckle]

[woman] Hi, are you here for The Show?

Cordially invited.

[woman chuckles] Of course, you are.

[Rich] We don't need that?

All you need is yourself.

Wait one moment and our lovely Lady Day

will be right with you.

- Lady Day, huh? Right on. - [melodic music]

[door squeaks open]

[melodic music]

First victim. [manic chuckle]

She sounds high.

Come inside. Let me see your mind.

[Chris] Bye, Richie.

Okay.

She's just going to ask you some questions.

You sign something.

[Dillon] Okay, like a DNA.

Dude, NDA.

Are boneless chicken wings...

- Shut up. Shut up. - ...considered chicken nuggets?

- Fuck you. - I was just asking.

All right.

[playful splutter]

That was awesome.

- Alcohol. - I got my own.

[sighs] Step this way, please. Welcome to The Show.

[melodic music continues]

[distant muffled chatter]

Come on. Keep up.

Yep. We're keeping up.

- What a weird building. - Come on, boys.

I want to throw up.

Into the deep of the Earth.

And... we're here.

[Dillon] Wow!

Yeah.

[chuckles]

Hello.

[Lady Day] Just checking for weapons.

You know, they say, you bring a gun on stage

and it's bound to go off.

- Check off. - [Lady Day] Oh...

He's a smart one.

[chuckles]

[Chris] Oh, she got you, man.

Oh, he can keep that.

[Chris] Ooh...

You just might need it.

- You just might need it. - Cheers.

Now, if you'll follow me, your chariot awaits.

- We have a chariot. - [chuckling]

[Dillon] Hop on a ride.

Thank you, ladies.

I love you.

[jazz music]

Well, well, well.

Look at you handsome boys.

Who are you?

I'm the driver.

Ready to go for a ride?

Where are we going?

Someplace wonderful.

Gentlemen...

Yeah?

- Sure. - [driver giggles] Yeah?

Get in the car.

Come on. Get in the car.

[chuckles]

Come on, come on, come on.

Okay, we're going to buckle you up.

How's that?

Good?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

[Dillon] I don't think I can do mine either.

Oh, baby.

- Let me help. - [gasps] Come on. Oh! Oof.

All right. How're you doing?

I'm good. How are you?

- [driver] I'm good. - Great.

Good. Now... I...

I'm going to ask you...

to put these blindfolds on over your eyes,

and tie them good... and tight.

You're not going to try to peak, are you?

[driver] Okay, good.

Are we going to The Show?

Oh, sweetheart.

This is The Show.

[music gains momentum]

[engine starts]

[Dillon] How drunk are you? [chuckles]

[Chris] Where do you think she's taking us?

[Dillon] A... theme park.

[Keegan] Do you think they have some sort of like,

Thanksgiving like, special?

Will they do like Christmas and all that?

That, that's the theme park.

[Chris] Oh, my, she's made a lot of lefts.

I'm going to throw up soon.

[Dillon] How do you even know, dude?

[Chris] Huh?

[Dillon] How do you even know? I've lost count.

[Chris] I was just feel it. I feel it.

[Dillon] You just keep going around there.

[Chris] Just doing circles.

[Rich] Yo, let's not give them ideas, okay?

[Keegan] Do you see black spots?

[Chris] In like life, or like...

[Dillon] Like, everything's black, Keegan.

[Chris] Keegan, I'm black. Do you see me?

[Keegan] I see one big black spot

sitting next to me.

[laughing]

[Keegan] I don't care. I'm so high.

[sighs]

[driver] Get out. Get out!

Get out of the car.

[muffled] Remember the rules.

Where the fuck are we?

I have absolutely no idea.

[Rich] We're in Texas.

[all laugh]

Gotcha.

[chuckling]

- [imitating gunshots] - [laughing]

[Chris chuckles] We're in Texas.

Are we still in Richmond?

I don't know.

Maybe... not?

I've never been here before.

You never leave campus.

[Keegan] Well, that's not true.

I go to the bar and go to your place, so...

Richie, we never leave campus.

I have no idea where we are.

[Dillon] Okay.

So, we wait.

I mean, something's bound to happen, right?

There's got to be people, right? Like actors.

Like a story.

- [yelling] - [grunts]

[laughing]

Fuck. Get up.

- [laughing] - Oh, God.

- Oh, God. - [laughing]

Fuck you, Richie.

[Chris] Come on, boy.

Fuck this game.

Dude, why you being a bitch? It's fun.

[laughs] Oh, man.

Why'd you get on the ground?

I laughed so hard, I fell.

[all laugh]

You know those... those carnival rides...

You know, where you point the...

Ugh.

So...

They're going to come, right?

Did they...

take us to the wrong place?

Well...

This is...

[as the driver] Someplace wonderful.

[chuckles]

Let's start walking.

Where?

[Rich] Over there.

[Keegan] Okay.

[rapid footfalls]

Hey, guys. Um...

What does this mean?

Does... Does this mean something?

Did they, they leave that here for us?

Is this for us?

It means something.

This place is kind of cool.

This is awesome.

So, what do we do now?

Yeah. Where's everybody?

Guys...

I don't know if I like this, okay.

There's this feeling that any second

something can jump out at us, man.

- I don't know if I like... - [yells]

[yells] Fuck shit, man.

You almost gave me a goddamned heart attack!

- [laughing] - [Chris breaths heavily]

Fuck you.

I think The Show will show itself to us, you know?

I mean, it started all the way back in the theatre right?

The girls, the blindfold, the drive.

It is happening.

I mean...

I guess we could just call a cab.

No, we can't do that. Remember the rules?

Well, she talked to us all separately,

so we don't know if you have the same rules.

Ugh. You can't get help or...

[all] Give help to anyone outside of your group.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Something like that.

We can't call a cab.

Okay, but like, that's hiring somebody.

That's not the same as getting help.

Just forget the fucking car.

Where's my phone? I can't find my phone.

Fuck, I don't have mine either.

I don't have a phone. I don't have a wallet.

No keys. Shit.

What the fuck!

Anyone have anything?

- Nothing. - Fuck.

Okay, I sincerely do not like this now, okay.

We don't know where the fuck we are.

We can't call anybody. We can't get help from anybody.

Chris, we can't ever get help, okay?

- That's a rule. Remember it. - Fuck.

Okay, but how do we even know if they're watching us?

Because this is The Show, okay, we're in it right now.

They have to be watching.

I mean, otherwise, why would they do it?

This is The Show. We just got to figure it out.

[Rich] I mean, it had to be taken

when we got frisked, right?

Yeah. No weapons. That's another rule.

Only, we didn't have any weapons,

so instead, they just took all our shit

and dumped us in the middle of nowhere.

It's got to be back at the theatre.

- Which is where exactly? - [Rich] I don't know, Chris.

All right, but let's just keep walking

till we find something familiar, okay?

We'll be shown the way.

So...

They're supposed to be all like happy and shit,

but really all holidays do is give people reason

to have super high expectations and be really judgmental.

I mean, Andi... She just broke up with me.

I mean, I think she did, I'm not totally sure, but...

Just, it's just because I'm staying here with you guys,

but really was I going to have that great of a Thanksgiving

with her family?

They're... Republicans, man.

Lynchburg, rebel flag, Second Amendment Republicans.

I'm a vegan. [chuckles]

They have nothing to say to me.

[Rich] Guys.

[Keegan] Actor alert.

Jesus, you'd think they try to be a little more discreet?

You know, keep up with the mise-en-scène

of the neighborhood, right?

What's with the milk?

- [Chris] Um... - [Keegan chuckles softly]

[Chris] Don't cry over spilled milk?

- Milk... and honey. - Hmm.

Milk it for all it's worth.

The milk of human kindness.

- Oh, that's a good one. - [chuckles]

Oh, we know that milk's white. So, white bread.

White guilt. White flight.

Great white whale. Great white hope.

Act white.

Two blacks don't make a white?

You boys like you need some comfort.

Want to come have an early Thanksgiving with us?

Right this way.

[soft chuckle]

[Dillon] The goddamned show.

[door opens]

Welcome to the Banana Hammock.

Who are you?

We came in with him.

Terrance?

Fur coat...

Terrance, get in here.

Yes.

I told you we couldn't invite anyone else.

I already counted the spoons.

Well, you can just count out four more

because we have some guests of honor.

What did you say your names were?

Richie.

Chris.

Keegan

- Dillon. - [Terrance] Ah...

Well, okay, Richie, Chris, Keegan, Dillon.

Why don't you make your way down to the basement.

That's where the marijuana is. [chuckles]

And the laundry.

If you need to do any... laundry while you're here.

I think we're okay.

But I think we'd all take some marijuana.

[many people talking]

Okay, so you guys are actors, right?

Fuck, no. We're in the chess club.

[Eastern music]

Uh... Happy Thanksgiving.

[yelling] Oh! Do you know what I want to do with this?

Get the fucking... Get the hell...

[muffled yelling]

[Eastern music continues]

[women squabbling]

You guys call this the Banana Hammock, huh?

Yeah, dude.

Is it because you guys like hammocking?

[chuckling]

- [squabbling] - [yelling] Stop. Stop. Stop.

[leisurely Eastern music]

[Keegan] I like to hammock.

Yeah, me too.

It calms me down.

[all yelling]

[leisurely music resumes]

Hey! I really like The Show so far.

Yeah. Really good work.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this,

but bravo.

Happy fucking Thanksgiving, bitch.

[yelling]

[leisurely music resumes]

[woman] Dinner is fucking served.

Total fucking method acting.

It's fucking awesome.

What the fuck is going on?

Yeah. Is this The Show?

I fucking hope so.

One.

Two. [chuckles]

- [woman 1] I'll pass it to you. - [woman 2] Okay, God.

"Winter Milk" by Carl Sandburg.

[all exclaiming]

The milk drops on your chin, Helga.

[all] Helga!

Must not interfere with the cranberry red

- ...of your cheeks... - Who's Helga?

[Terrance] ...nor the sky winter blue of your eyes.

- [all] Eyes. - [Terrance chuckles]

Let your mammy keep hands off the chin.

This is a high holy spatter of white

on the reds and the blues.

[all] Blue...

Before the bottle was taken away.

Before you so proudly began today.

Drinking your milk from the rim of a cup.

They did not splash this high holy white

on your chin.

- [all] Oh... - [Terrance] Fuck off.

There are dreams in your eyes, Helga.

- [all] Helga! - [Terrance chuckles]

Tall reaches of wind sweep the clear blue.

The winter is young yet, so young.

[all] Young!

Only a little cupful of winter has touched your lips.

Drink on...

Milk with your lips... Dreams with your eyes.

[all] Eyes...

Oh, fuck.

[all laugh]

[woman] Drink the milk.

[whispering] Dude...

This is not The Show.

This is a house of lunatics.

They've clearly put something in the milk.

We have to get out of here.

- [yells] Go! - Shit.

[all yelling] Stay!

Wasters of milk.

Thanks for the weed.

I am so high.

[Chris] But, Keegan!

[coughs]

- [coughing continues] - Hey!

- [Rich] Hey, you all right? - [Chris] Hey, you all right?

[Rich] Keegan!

- [Keegan choking] - Just breath it out, buddy.

- Just breath it out. - [Rich] Yo, what's up, dude?

- It's just milk. - [Rich] You fucking fake.

I mean, I think it's just milk, I guess, I don't really know.

Dude, you scared the fucking shit out of me, man.

I... am super high.

I hope I'm just high.

I'm drunk.

Chris, check my eyes.

Insane, as usual.

[Dillon] So now what?

We keep walking.

Look for a real sign.

[Dillon] There haven't been any signs.

[sighs] Fuck me.

I'm so... high.

[random voices repeating] Tryptophan.

- I'm... so... high. - [voices repeating] Tryptophan.

[dull music]

Tryptophan, tryptophan. The Fan District.

That's what we live. Boom. Got it.

[chuckling]

[Dillon] Okay, so definitely LSD in the milk.

- Oh, yeah, clearly. - We got to figure it out.

What The Show is.

We're not looking at it right.

There's something we're not seeing.

[Chris] Well, it's not like we're not looking, man.

Yeah, well, keep looking.

Attack the target.

Target is the goal.

The goal is the goal.

The goal is what eats you.

What eats you is the goal.

Eat the goal.

Oh, just tell us what to do.

Where are we going?

Not here.

We could flip a coin.

It's a four-way intersection.

Roll the dice.

Four, man.

We don't have a coin or a die.

Well, we're not going back the way we came.

Three options.

Rock, paper, scissors.

Three, dude.

No, just rock, paper.

All right? That way's rock, rock.

That way's rock, paper.

That way's paper, paper.

So, just random.

Everything is random.

Dude. Dillon.

Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

That way.

Wait, wait, wait. What if we're wrong?

I mean, we don't even know what's in that direction.

We don't know what's in any direction.

We have to get three in a row.

Fine.

Paper, paper.

That way.

So, which way now?

Why not forward?

Forward?

So, we're just going to hop the fence?

[Chris] Yep.

All right.

[slow tense music]

[soft grunt]

[soft grunt]

[bird calling]

Okay, what do we do now, people?

I don't think they can hear you.

Who? The dead people?

What about the living?

Hello?

Theatre people?

We know you're watching.

Do you think The Show like bugged us or something?

They could be listening, or, like, tracking devices.

I wouldn't put it past them.

I knew there was more shit taken from me.

Dude! What?

You've got everything going for you.

These are the best years of our life.

[Chris] Hey guys.

This one was 25.

Eighteen.

Eighteen.

Two.

This one was... two years old.

Two fucking years old.

A grave for them and everything.

Any one of these could have been us, man.

Hey, but it's not. All right?

You made it past two. You made it past 18.

But not 25.

Not yet.

Oh... What if I don't make it, huh?

Huh Richie, you guys going to come to my grave?

You're going to pull one out for me?

Chris, we're gods with hooves.

No man, I don't fucking like this, okay?

We don't know where we are. We can't get help.

We can't call anybody. I mean... Two years old.

Now we've blessed the child, okay?

Dude, you just wasted half of that on a baby.

Hey, chill out, man.

Come on, let's go.

[sniffs]

[soft tense music]

[Rich] Hey.

Hey!

Hey!

- Yeah, that was her. - [Keegan] Who?

The chick from The Show. The driver.

I knew it was her. [soft chuckle]

It was totally her.

You see what she was doing with the shushing us and shit?

Well, what the fuck was that about?

We should follow, right? We follow?

Right?

The Show must go on.

[music intensifies]

[Rich] Where the hell did she go?

What? She just vanish?

Damn, she's fast.

Fuck.

[Rich] Come on. Let's go this way.

Yo, hey, guys.

Guys.

We're being followed.

[Rich] The driver?

No, no, no. Two dudes.

They ducked behind the dumpsters over there.

[Rich] How do you know they're following us?

They've taken the last three turns we've made.

They're getting really close.

[Rich] It's The Show.

Okay, so... So, what do we do now?

Well, if it's The Show, theoretically,

that's their call, isn't it?

Last call we ended with Charlie Manson

and his milk squad.

[Dillon] There they go.

[Chris] Holy shit. Did you see that?

I am seeing a lot of things that I don't know are there.

- We could run. - Or fight.

We could engage them in fisticuffs

of wit and splendor.

Keegan, whatever you do, don't do anything, okay?

Just stay back.

Yeah, I actually think that's probably a good idea.

[Keegan] Holy shit.

[yells] Run!

Keegan.

[fast paced music]

Keegan, stop.

Keegan, stop. This is ridiculous.

Keegan!

Keegan!

Stop!

What do you want?

What do you want?

You were following us.

You know, he's got a fair point.

Can you help us?

No!

Well, that was literally our whole plan.

- What the fuck do we do now? - That was our whole plan.

- It's a test. - Yeah.

- We can't help them. - Which they know?

Because they can't help us.

Okay, well, let's just ask.

Can you help us?

No.

- Why'd you say it so quick? - Because...

Either they're part of The Show, or...

Or they're like us.

Maybe they got dumped somewhere too.

Two.

Two...

I think I left the bathroom light on.

- Mother fucker. - I know.

- Ta, two, two... - Keegan, shut the fuck up.

Guys, can we focus.

Maybe they know something we don't.

Well, if they're part of The Show, yeah, they do.

Either part of The Show...

And they're not going to help us

because they're pretending to be guys like us,

or they're not part of The Show.

And they can't help us for the same reason

we can't help them or get help from them.

Unless they are part of The Show, in which case,

yeah, they could help us but they're not going to,

because they're testing us

to see if we'll accept their help,

which they know we can't

whether or not they're with The Show.

Amazing.

- Sorry. - So...

Why can't we help them?

I mean, I know why I can't but like...

Why can't you, Dillon?

For the same reason as you.

I don't think so.

[tense note]

[muffled] So, then why can't you?

[muffled] I can't say. Why can't you?

I can't say, crazy...

Is it that you can't help us or that you won't?

Uh, could you repeat the question?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Can you come a little closer?

I'm getting real tired of yelling here.

Is it that you can't help us or that you won't?

I would say... we can.

And could you accept help from us?

Or would you just not accept it?

Normally, I would, because...

I think I would do just about anything

to not be in this situation right now,

because I'm really tired and I'm really hungry.

I didn't think the play would be this long.

But, under the circumstances, I would say is that I can't...

We can't accept help from any of you.

[Rich] So again, I'll ask...

What do you want?

Company.

You made any phone calls?

We don't have our phones.

Bought anything?

No wallets.

See any clues along the way?

I mean, maybe. I don't know.

Have you talked to anyone?

Yeah, there was an older couple. Super friendly.

But after talking to them for like an hour,

asked them questions about The Show.

Shit.

The Show.

What do you know about The Show?

I don't think I'm supposed to talk about The Show.

[Rich] You brought it up.

Yeah. So?

What do you know about The Show?

You're asking the wrong question.

[Keegan] We can assume that everybody in The Show

is a liar.

They're not going to tell the truth

because they're not only in The Show,

but that's the nature of The Show.

On the other hand,

we can assume that anybody that got invited to The Show,

would be telling the truth,

because while there are rules about not accepting help,

there are no rules about lying.

So, they'd have no reason to not tell the truth,

if they thought it in some way could help them

without actually asking for help.

Let me see your eyes.

Okay, so... the liar will always tell a lie,

but the truthful person will tell the truth.

Precisely.

So...

The right question is...

Are you in The Show?

No. Are you in The Show?

No.

See? They're not in The Show.

We're not in The Show either.

[Rich] Let's keep moving.

[Dillon] Where?

How about out of the middle of this goddamn deathtrap?

[chaotic music]

["You Gotta Grow Old" by Pickled Bones LLC]

♪ Well, you've got to grow old ♪

♪ It's what you do ♪

♪ You've got to grow old ♪

♪ That's a heady brew ♪

♪ If you stop On the way to top ♪

♪ You will fall down To the ground ♪

Paper, paper.

Look, let's just stick together for a little while, all right?

What do you guys know?

- What do you guys know? - For fuck's sake.

I'm not playing any more mind games with you.

When we were trying to figure out

how to get out of the ravine we were in.

Whoa, whoa. They dumped you in a ravine?

Well, they pulled us out of a car, but...

then we rolled all the way down a hill.

[Dillon] What the fuck!

We came across a map on a board. You know, trails and things.

And I had a sharpie, so I drew it on my arm.

And I'm not showing this to you,

I'm just taking a look at it for myself.

And if you guys happen to see it, too...

There was more but it kind of got rubbed off.

What city are we in?

It said James River.

That's in Richmond, right?

This is a map?

So, how many miles per inch?

This is just like you're trying to get a bad tattoo

and fucked up.

So, you've been following a map

that doesn't tell you where you are,

and doesn't tell you where you're going?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Actually, we've been following you guys.

Up there.

♪ You've gotta grow old ♪

♪ Fill those shoes ♪

♪ You've gotta grow old ♪

♪ There's nothing Back there for you ♪

♪ Well what makes you think ♪

♪ That you've got What it takes ♪

♪ To go on and on and on And on and grow old ♪

[beep]

[beep]

Richmond.

[sighs] Thank fucking God.

How do you know?

My professor designed that building.

The school to the right or to the left?

Jesus Christ, doesn't anybody know anything?

I mean, I just use my phone. You know, GPS and shit.

So, I don't really have to know how to get somewhere.

Only we never go anywhere.

We go to class, we get drunk, and then we go home.

We go home.

Yeah.

No. Like, home home.

Like where we were going to go before we decided to stay here

and go to The Show and get fucked with

by actors that we can't even see, man.

Oh, fuck.

Oh. Fuck.

I could be making sweet, sweet love

to my high school girlfriend in her parent's basement.

Keegan, we take 95 North to go home, right?

Right?

We take Broad Street to 95 to go home.

The sun's there. That's west, right?

Okay, we walk the same side of the street every day

to go to school.

When we're walking to school is the sun in our eyes?

It is, right?

Right.

Yeah, right. The sun's in our eyes.

The school's to the left.

It looks so fucking far away.

Dude, you run an hour on the treadmill every day.

Yeah, but I can turn that off. Plus, there's ladies there.

Okay, but I see nothing that says VCU.

Everything in Richmond says VCU.

I think we've got to cross the moat.

It's definitely a river.

No, it's a rule.

What did that chick say from The Show?

The, the poem.

Yeah, yeah.

About a moat? Jesus, fuck.

She didn't tell me a damn thing.

[Keegan] Can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on?

Yeah, you're tripping balls,

because you just had to drink the milk, okay?

Fuck off. I wanted it.

We haven't eaten since fucking cereal.

We're dressed to go to a goddamn play,

and I think we can only cross...

To wake from dreams you have to go...

Where machines can only hope to know.

Where neither fish nor fowl nor iron horse

covers the path of slithy course.

Dude. Nice recall.

Why didn't you tell us

we were looking for a fucking moat?

[Rich] The moat is the river.

Okay, so swimming and flying is out.

So, which bridge would be the slithy one?

I thought it was a metaphor.

We've been looking for a metaphor?

Why the fuck are you keeping things from us?

I thought it was just for me, okay?

Can we just cross the damn river.

Oh, I'd love to.

And where exactly are we allowed to do that?

Where machines can only hope to know.

[sighs]

[soft melodic music]

Where are... Where are we going?

Guys, stop... stop...

Shit.

[Rich] We've got to cross where only people can go.

No machines.

All right, so we... We take a rowboat.

You got a rowboat?

You'd go over to Belle Isle.

I used to huff paint there freshman year.

Oh, so you can access like 100% of your brain.

I wasn't planning on huffing paint now.

I mean, there's a bridge that only people, you know...

- But... - Pedestrian.

Right.

So, I'm saying we hop over the rocks to Belle Isle.

Then we take the pedestrian bridge

back to the city.

That's it.

So, we got to hop.

[mutters] Fucked.

[Peter] I'm Peter, by the way.

[Standish] Standish.

[Chris] I'm Chris.

This is Dillon, Keegan, and Rich.

What the hell is going on here?

I mean, is there a show or what?

I mean, have we walked across town?

Trampled graves.

Scaled tall buildings,

and had Star Trek level goddamned arguments

with two dudes about lying for something or not?

I mean, I mean, are we the audience,

or are we the fucking actors, huh?

[yells] How about you fucking show yourselves?

[Dillon] Who are you talking to?

Fucking people doing this, Dillon?

The universe?

God.

Fuck God.

Jesus!

It's people doing this to us.

What about the girl from the theatre?

Not the one with the purple hair.

Why did she tell us that we couldn't help anybody

or get help from anyone?

[Dillon] It's a rule.

No, but like...

What did she tell you? Like, what reason did she give?

I... I can't say.

So, you're not supposed to say?

Well, yeah.

Or even say that?

Yeah.

Okay, Dillon. Can you say anything?

Well...

- I mean, not nothing. - But not anything?

Yeah.

So, tell me.

I just told you. I can't.

Okay.

Why were you the one that was invited to The Show?

What are you trying to say?

I mean, I didn't get an invitation in my pocket.

So, how do I know you're not doing this?

Doing what? Getting us home?

Maybe there is no show!

There is a show, all right? We're in it.

It's happening right now.

What about the actors? Do you know them?

Actors are who you know, right?

Would you put them in one of your movies?

One of your fucking films no one's going to see.

Fuck you, man.

People want to watch shit that makes sense,

not experimental crap.

You know, something that goes somewhere.

- Fuck... off. - Someone is doing this to us.

What aren't you telling us, man?

What the hell did you think the river was a metaphor for?

Just stop, okay.

I'm just trying to get us home.

So, we can get our stuff

and I can figure out my fucking life.

Figure out your fucking life.

I'll tell you what you can do with your fucking life.

All right, we're going to finish the school year.

All right, we're going to fucking drink.

We're going to fucking smoke.

We're going to do whatever we need to do

before we have to go off and be fucking...

That's not going to happen, okay, not anymore.

It's all fucked.

[Chris] What are you talking about now, Richie?

My life.

She knew about my fucking life.

[Keegan] Guys.

What?

Guys!

[Dillon] It's The Show.

[soft tense music]

Are you in The Show?

She knows the question.

And they're definitely in The Show.

I mean, look at what they're wearing.

[Dillon] What?

Like some kind of costume.

Like, they knew they'd be outside.

Why would they be on Belle Isle?

There's a million other ways they could go.

[Dillon] That's true.

Not supposed to have weapons.

This isn't a weapon. It's a hammer.

She's got a point.

Why are you dressed like that?

It's her birthday.

We're going to go out after The Show.

Happy birthday.

I'm 21 today.

[Chris] Oh, yeah.

Keegan, give me your flask.

All right.

Don't do it.

[flask clinks]

Uh...

Oh, God.

Are we surprised?

No.

Then that was worth it.

- No. - Hell, no.

Thanks.

[Chris] You're welcome.

What are you...

[softly] Oh, Jesus, no.

Go on. Help yourself.

Where do you guys get the food from?

We stole it from the back of a lady's car,

but she had a lot so it's...

[woman] okay.

Why, where'd you guys get yours?

[woman] We worked for it.

We came down the alley behind a convenience store

and saw this guy unloading boxes.

So, we carried them inside and loaded them for him.

He gave us food and water for the work.

So... barter.

It's not giving or getting help. Even exchange.

[Chris] Yeah.

Oh.

We have...

Mimosas.

- [soft chuckle] - [Dillon] Uh...

Anybody got a lighter? Matches?

I do.

[Dillon] Oh, thanks.

[Chris] Oh, shit.

I didn't know you still had that?

Yeah, I just, I didn't have any fire.

They took it from me.

So, how come you guys are on Belle Isle?

It's the most direct crossing.

How'd you know?

We're in the biology department.

[Dillon] Not actors?

Actors? No, we're Potamologists.

We study the river.

We know this place.

It used to be a power plant

but now people come here to huff paint.

[chuckles] Yeah, that guy...

[Chris] Dude, what the fuck?

[soft tense music]

Hey, Standish! Peter!

[calling] Guys!

There were two guys with us.

Not... with us.

[calling] Peter!

They said they weren't in The Show.

[woman] Did you ask them?

Yeah, of course.

Standish told us to come through Belle Isle.

They would say that, wouldn't they?

So, you guys haven't been following like any clues right?

Like riddles, symbols, shit like that?

[woman] There hasn't been anything.

Well, how about actors?

Not that we've seen.

Not that you've seen.

They still could be actors.

- Okay, come on, guys. - Yeah.

[mumbles] Fucking assholes.

- What the fuck was that? - I don't know.

[Keegan] We're being watched.

It's Schrodinger's cat.

It's a thought experiment.

I saw it in this movie, Coherence, right.

So, you put a cat in a box and you put poison in the box.

Now, statistically speaking, that cat is both dead and alive.

However, when you open the box and you look inside

that cat is either dead or alive.

Dude, that's... No.

And the acid just keeps talking.

No, dude, it makes total fucking sense, okay?

Look, The Show is like... It's like an escape room.

- Right? - Okay, I'll give you that.

We're in the box.

They are in the box.

So, right now, we're both dead and alive

until somebody looks in the box.

So, whoever put that poison in the box has to look.

It's them looking that creates one reality

or the other.

I's them looking that makes it real.

Fuck. Fuck. Okay, so...

If no one's watching us, we're dead and alive.

If someone is watching us, we're dead or alive.

We can't be both dead and alive, so someone is watching us.

Pretty much. Yeah.

And they're either the watchers or another cat.

Precisely.

Please don't ask them if they are cats.

[Keegan] Hey...

Denim coat.

Yeah?

[Keegan] Do you know Andi?

Andrea Shah?

I feel like I met you one time at a party she had.

Do you know her?

A little.

[Dillon] Is she okay. Like, have you seen her today?

No. Why?

I just...

It's nothing.

Listen, so you know the rules and we know the rules, so...

I guess we'll catch you on the flip side.

[Rich] You're leaving?

Don't you have something to tell us?

You're part of it, aren't you?

Pack it up.

Haven't you figured it out yet?

what The Show is?

Just tell me.

I wish I could.

Good luck.

Just fucking tell me.

Who invited us to this, huh? Do you know?

Fuck!

Come on, we got a long way to go.

[Dillon] You know about this, Richie?

Huh?

Because I feel like

there's something you're not telling us.

Fuck it.

[Keegan] She knew things about me.

The chick with the purple hair.

And it's just weird things,

you know, like who my roommates are.

What I wrote for my French film thesis.

Where I'm from.

Me too.

She knew about me and Andi's relationship.

Like, when it started, which is kind of fucked up,

because I was still kind of with this other girl

long distance and...

She even knew that she broke up with me,

which happened like an hour before,

and I sure as shit didn't tell anybody.

[Rich] Andi?

Is it her doing this?

What? No.

I mean, I don't think so.

She said she would hurt her, Andi.

If I helped anyone but you guys.

[Chris] She...

She knew about my mom.

She told me...

I tried to get help or give help.

I would call her and tell her I got hurt in The Show.

Just to scare her.

What the fuck!

Yeah.

[Keegan] She told me she'd hurt you guys.

I mean, I thought she was joking, clearly.

I mean...

she was laughing when she said it, so like...

[Chris] How about you, Rich?

Rich?

- [whispers] Fuck off. - [Dillon] Richie?

I got kicked out of school, okay.

[Dillon] When?

Yesterday.

My advisor called me in...

It's all done.

[soft chuckle]

I don't, I don't fucking get it, man.

What the hell happened?

Hmm?

The fuck.

I mean, really, man?

You're not going to tell something like that?

I mean, God dammit,

you supposed to be our best friend.

You say that we should stay home this Thanksgiving break.

Last hurrah, right?

And we're going to get fucked up with our friends.

We'll go to The Show.

You just didn't want to go home and face your parents,

because you are a giant fucking pussy.

Fuck you.

Fuck all this.

- [branch snaps] - [Keegan groans]

- Keegan? - [Chris] What happened, man?

- What happened? What happened? - Fuck, fucking... [groans]

[yells] Oh, God! [groans]

[Rich] Yo, sit down, sit down.

You okay, man?

[groans] Dude, my fucking ankle, dude.

Ahh, I rolled the fuck out of my ankle.

I'm just going to look at it.

[gasps]

- We've got to wrap this up. - Yeah.

Do we have anything to wrap this up?

Yeah, yeah, I've got the blindfolds and...

Sticks.

You going to tie it?

Oh, yeah, this will work.

[Chris] You need help, man, or you got it?

[groans]

[breaths deeply]

[Rich] Come on, let's get you up.

["The Thing That Kills" by Pickled Bones LLC]

Hey, was this on the map?

The map is not the territory.

Word is not the thing.

The menu's not the meal.

Smoke is not the fire.

This is not a pipe.

♪ Can't find my place anymore ♪

♪ I'm losing ♪

♪ Walking for miles My good leg is giving out ♪

♪ Tell me I'm dreaming ♪

♪ I need something To believe in ♪

♪ Down the rabbit hole I'm falling through ♪

♪ Till I'm on my way ♪

♪ You can lie to me Lie to them ♪

♪ But you better not Lie to yourself ♪

♪ What are you hiding There in the dark ♪

♪ Please don't be gone Too long ♪

♪ Find my way ♪

♪ Find my way ♪

♪ Find my way out ♪

♪ Fighting the chills The thing that kills ♪

♪ But it feels so good ♪

♪ Just one more ♪

♪ Just one more ♪

♪ Just one more Can't feel anything ♪

♪ Let the music play My one request ♪

♪ The last thing I hear Before I die ♪

Do you think they're watching us now?

What if they are.

What do you mean?

I mean why the fuck does it matter?

It always matters, man.

Hey, hold on a second, guys, I...

I need to stop.

[Keegan sighs]

No one was watching?

Like ever?

Whatever the fuck I wanted...

I mean, it might not be that different

than what I do now, but...

I can tell you... I am being watched.

I don't like it.

Not one bit.

Man...

I'm so fucking sick of everyone

telling me how hard it's going to be

once we graduate.

Everything we have to do and get and be... like...

who fucking cares

what my life is going to be like once I'm out?

It's going to be mine.

I'm not going to have to give a shit

about people making me talk a certain way

or write a certain way.

I won't have to give a shit about doctor's notes

or fucking late papers or fucking midterms.

[chuckle] I got busted for my fucking midterm.

My goddamn midterm.

Ten pages for English

that I couldn't give a shit about,

because I should have done it freshman year but...

no, I had to get high

and be all young blood balls out architect.

It's bullshit.

I mean... me.

Howard Roark in "The Fountainhead."

Frank Lloyd Wright.

Me, Richard fucking Volkman bullshit.

You know, I got it from that asshole, Jerry.

Dumb shit roommate of yours. Sophomore year.

He sold it to me for 50 bucks and a brownie.

Well...

He got it from someone else

and... they run it through the system.

My life is ruined.

All for some shit I did to myself.

All the king's horses all the king's men.

- Fucking Jerry. - [Chris] Fucking Jerry, man.

Shit!

[man] Give me your fucking coat. I said give it to me!

Take it easy, man.

Give me the fucking coat, you little retard.

[tense music]

[both grunt]

- [grunt] - Shit.

- Richie! - [metallic clink]

[grunting]

Oh, fuck!

Oh.

[Rich grunts]

What the fuck.

[groans]

- [Dillon] Richie. - [groans]

Richie, is he dead?

[soft tense music]

He's... He's dead?

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

- [Chris] Okay, so... - Ah...

What do we... What do we do now?

He's dead.

[splash]

Nothing to do.

Is there anything in the rules about killing someone?

I... I killed somebody.

[Chris] He was trying to kill Richie, man.

[Dillon] Yeah, but me...

I did it.

I killed him.

You had to do it. Okay? It, it was him or us. All right?

It, it could have been any of us.

[Keegan] I can't believe we killed someone.

[crying] Fuck. I can't believe we killed somebody, man.

I killed him.

Me.

[Dillon sniffs]

[crying] I can't believe we fucking killed somebody.

[crying]

[Keegan] I can't believe we killed somebody.

I can't believe we fucking killed somebody.

Hey, hey, hey, look at me.

Hey, hey, hey, look at me. Look at me, okay?

[soft grunt]

The show must go on. Right? Hey, hey, hey.

Hey. On with the show.

Show and tell. Okay?

It's showtime.

[Keegan cries]

[Chris] Show me the money.

Show me the ropes.

Ain't no business like show business.

Showdown.

- [cries] - I know.

One for the money.

Two for the show.

Show of hands.

You've got plenty to show.

Greatest show on Earth.

The only show in town.

To show off.

Steal the show.

[Dillon cries]

Hey, hey. It's okay.

It's okay.

[soft groan]

[soft groan]

[soft music resumes]

[soft groan]

♪ Don't hold me back I'm just what I want ♪

♪ Now I'm on my way ♪

How many miles do you think it is

to get to school?

I don't know, maybe a few.

A few, no, it's at least several miles away.

[Dillon] Several?

How many is that?

Several is seven.

[Dillon] Seven?

No.

Several is at least eight or nine.

- Then what's ten? - Ten is ten, Dillon.

[Dillon] Okay, then how many is a few?

[Chris] A few is three.

No. Three is three, okay. A few is four or five?

No, a couple is two.

So, anything above that is a few.

Therefore, it's three.

So, when does it become several?

[Chris] I just said several is seven.

So then, six is still a few?

No, man.

It'll take us exactly as many miles

as there are between where we are

and where we're going, to get there.

All right?

I got to find a bathroom. I need to take a look at this.

We see you.

It says, "We see you."

Okay.

The way I see it...

It's not what happened...

but how we feel about it.

Keegan.

No.

No, hear me out.

The real problem is feeling guilty about it.

We are guilty.

I don't know if that's necessarily true.

You've heard of the Trolley Problem, right?

Please don't.

You're driving a trolley.

On the tracks in front of you four people are tied down.

Who the fuck thinks of these things?

But...

on the tracks just off to the side,

only one person is tied down.

Now... you can either stay on the tracks you're on,

and definitely kill four people, or...

you can switch tracks, and only kill one.

How about in here?

I guess.

Hey, yeah, there's no cameras. We're good.

[soft gasp]

Does it hurt?

[soft moan]

[soft moan]

[soft grunt]

[Chris] So, we...

never just going to leave this bathroom again?

We got to be close to home.

Don't have our keys... or stuff.

[Chris] They're probably back at the theatre.

We should get back to the end of The Show.

You know, why don't I just use Find My Phone, to find my phone.

Fuck you, Keegan.

[Rich moans softly]

[soft moan]

[soft moan]

Why didn't you just write the paper, man?

You're fucking smart, man.

You could have just written garbage

and got a D.

You fucked this up.

You... in one fucking whoop.

One... stupid...

fucking decision.

You're self-destructive, man.

Fuck you.

No, fuck you.

And I mean that... sincerely.

You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

[Keegan] What are we going to do when we get home?

Huh?

Play more video games?

More bong rips?

You know, people are going to ask us

what we did for Thanksgiving.

And what are we going to say?

Huh?

We're going to say, "Oh, Richie got kicked out of school,

and we went to a show

where we fucking killed somebody."

[scuffling]

We don't ever talk about that.

Not... one... word.

Right?

Right.

[breaths rapidly]

It didn't happen.

The observation of something makes it real.

If a tree falls in the forest,

and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

[Dillon] Well, it has to.

It happens whether someone's there or not.

Not really.

You see...

The tree actually can't make a sound,

because sound exists solely for someone to hear it.

No one there to hear it.

It didn't happen.

But the cat thing proves that we are being watched.

Okay?

Otherwise, we'd be both dead and alive.

Are we?

I don't believe there was any living witnesses

to that event.

If they were watching us then

they would have called the cops instantly,

but they didn't.

We walked through the city for miles,

and we haven't been picked up,

because we didn't make a sound.

Jesus, man. That's cold.

Okay, that's a fucking cold way

of interpreting that particular tree falling

in that particular forest.

But I'm right.

[Dillon] No.

No, no, that doesn't make sense.

None of this fucking makes any sense.

I just want to go home.

- I just want to go home. - [Rich] Just think about it.

Hey, hey.

Trust me. Hey. Hey.

You'll see.

I'm right.

Let's get the show on the road.

[soft tense music]

[sighs softly] Okay.

- [soft grunt] - Fuck.

Stop.

[window rattles softly]

[softly] Ow.

Watch it.

[Keegan] Where's everybody?

[Chris] I don't know, man.

It looks like nobody's been here in days.

[sighs]

- [crash] - Hey.

What are you guys doing in here? School's out.

[Rich] We're here to see The Show.

[soft chuckle] You're early.

It doesn't start for another couple of weeks.

It's cool. You have a good night.

Yeah, you too.

[sighs]

[soft melodic music]

[thud]

[music gets louder]

[Dillon] Oh, my God!

Is this all there is?

[Keegan yells] Is there anybody out there?

There's no one.

[Keegan] There's just us.

Dillon.

I don't want to see...

It's okay, man, there, take it.

Keegan.

[Dillon] Wait.

Whose things are these?

How many more people like us are still out there?

[Rich] Like us?

Maybe a lot.

Maybe no one.

Are...

we...

still in The Show?

I don't know.

Can we ever get help?

Everything they knew before is still true.

Before?

I just want to go home...

Now!

I don't want to see anyone or do anything.

Or say anything.

[Keegan] Guys.

The party... This weekend.

We told everyone...

We were drunk.

Can we call it off?

- Richie? - No.

They'd ask why.

And what would we say?

The house burnt down?

It wouldn't be a lie.

I... I just want to go back in time.

Back... is not an option.

[Chris] Why us?

Why any of us?

Because they could.

[sniffs]

[sighs]

And what about The Show?

The Show?

We are The Show.

It's all one big fucking show.

It's just us.

[many people talking and laughing]

[people laughing]

Oh, my God.

- [woman 1] Get the door. - [woman 2] No. I got it.

[woman 1] Jesus Christ.

- [laughing] - Oh.

Uh, we've got an invitation. Nine o'clock.

Of course. Step this way.

Welcome to The Show.

["The Ones You Love" by Pickled Bones LLC]

♪ What have you done ♪

♪ What did you know ♪

♪ Perhaps it was that they Expected you to grow ♪

[background chatter]

♪ Don't want to be The instigator ♪

♪ Got to keep your hands clean ♪

♪ How would I know if you spent The whole day lying to me ♪

♪ Oh, I know, I know, I know ♪

♪ It gets harder everyday ♪

♪ No matter what it is you say ♪

♪ Leave a mess For the world to see ♪

♪ I know, I know, I know It happens to everyone ♪

[music becomes chaotic]

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[soft melodic music]