All language subtitles for The.Conners.S01E04.The.Separation.Of.Church.And.Dan.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Jackie: So, since your mom
used to handle the holidays,

I thought we should
talk about a game plan

for Thanksgiving
and Christmas.

Oh, I say we follow
the Conner tradition --

spend every dime we have
on Halloween,

and then we have nothing
to be thankful for

or buy gifts with.

Hi, Mom.
Hi, Aunt Jackie.

Hi.
Hey. How was school?

Good.
We're learning about democracy.

Oh, it's a class
in ancient history, eh?

We're doing projects
about the election.

I'm gonna
take a poll at the mall

to see how people voted.

Oh, good,
my 11-year-old

approaching strangers
at the mall.

Why don't we
double down

and just have you
hitchhike there?

No, you're taking me.

Oh, I-I-I can't.

I have to work that day.

I didn't tell you
what day it was.

Oh, you didn't?

Well, let's not
get bogged down

in he said, she said.

All right,
what day is it?

Saturday.
How about that?

I actually
have to work that day.

Well, I'm free on Saturday.
I'd love to help.

I think it's great
that you're hungry to learn

about how democracy
is supposed to work,

'cause it's up to you
young people

to snatch it back
from special interests

and breathe new life
into this noble experiment

that we call America.

Guys, you got to see this.

[ Sports chatter on TV ]

Why is he outside?

He's watching TV.

Well, yes,
that's the obvious explanation.

Now let's dig
a little deeper.

I think the shock
of losing your mom

has worn off
and now he's just depressed,

but he doesn't
want us to see it.

Well, watching TV
from the porch

is not a good way
to hide it.

He's been isolating himself
from the family more and more.

Before you know it,
he'll be across the street.

[ Clears throat ]

Oh, he'll go as far
as that remote will let him.

Hey, Dad.

What's up?

Watching TV
from the porch.

Cool.

Quick question.
Why?

I wanted to watch TV,
and I'm getting some fresh air.

Also looking
for a little alone time.

Don't mind us.

Yeah, sure.
Yeah, that's healthy.

Yeah.

I'm glad
you feel that way.

But we won't know
until we test it.

[ Metal clinking ]

Okay, if you're gonna
track me like a wounded animal,

do the decent thing
and shoot me, would you?

Dan, you can't avoid
our love.

You've been through
a huge loss.

Tell us
what you're feeling.

Give it to us.

All right.

I am having
a very strong feeling.

My sister-in-law
is badgering me,

and I want her
to leave my garage.

Maybe you don't
want to talk to us,

but you got to
talk to somebody.

I went to a support group
when Mark died.

It really helped me.

I still go sometimes.

There you go.
Tell him what you got out of it.

Well, I talked to nice, old men
who have tennis bracelets,

but no one to wear them.

See?

It says "Tiffany,"

but that's
just the wife's name.

I find that the guys
on my crew get jealous

when I wear my diamonds,
so that's out.

I'll call you
if I need you.

Uh, you left your phone
by the bike.

Exactly.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

"The Conners" is recorded

in front of
a live studio audience.

Okay, ladies,
now that I'm back,

I want to show you all
how Mary's hair should be done.

It's a simple
10-step process

that should take no longer
than three hours.

Uh, looking at my hair,
did you ever think

I had a realistic chance
of getting hers right?

Okay, the car's all packed up
to head back to the base.

Oh, remember
we have to stop by the PX

to get Mary
some new church clothes.

We don't go to church.

Excuse me?

What does she mean
by that?

Who knows?
Kids have rich fantasy lives.

They have dragons
for friends.

When was the last time
she was in church?

It's funny, the tricks
time can play on you.

How long?

I'm gonna say
about a year.

How long?

Two years.

Two years?

That's almost the whole time
I was gone.

Well, in D.J.'s defense,

you know we've never really been
religious people.

I mean, we pray,
but it's usually just,

"Rub-a-dub-dub,
thanks for the grub," or...

...you know, asking for
a little help at the track.

Well, some of us
go regularly.

I take my mother to services
every Sunday

just to remind God
she's still here

in case
he forgot to take her.

Well, you can gamble with
your souls if you want,

but my family's
going to church.

Aunt Darlene
doesn't make Mark and Harris go,

so why do I have to?

Because I said so.

D.J., let's go.

It's okay.
I've had a good life.

Yeah, I didn't want
to correct him.

Hey, so, my dad
will be here any minute.

And remember,
he's kind of raw right now,

but I do think
he really wants to talk.

Just don't force it.

We don't have to
yell "Surprise," do we?

No. No. Just hang out, have fun,
don't make it weird.

You know,
if this doesn't work,

I know some guys
who play drums in the woods.

They seem pretty happy.

Yeah, let's try
beer and poker tonight,

but we got that
in our back pocket.

Right on.
Right on.

He's here.
Everybody act casual.

Jackie.

Why is your car
blocking the driveway?

No reason.

Maybe we just wanted
you to come in

through
the front door.
For no reason!

Oh, good.

Crazy people.

I know I'm in the right house.

-Hey!
-Hey!

-There he is!
-Come on in.

What are you guys
doing here?

We're here
to play some poker.

Yeah. Dwight here,
he finally got his check

from when that street cleaner
ran him over.

We're gonna take his money.

It was a rough night.

Kind of fell asleep
in the gutter.

[ Laughs loudly ]

That is some real guy talk!

Okay, Dan,
you guys have a great game.

There's no game.
Everybody go home.

Come on,
we're all here.

I said, "Go home."

Oh.
Hang on a minute.

Let me just go talk to him.

I thought
I made it clear.

I wanted
to be left alone.

But, Dad,
these are your friends.

We thought you could
just play some cards,

maybe talk
about some things.

I already told you, I don't
have anything to talk about,

and I don't need my friends
sitting around here

feeling sorry for me.

It's not like that.

Your daughter,
she's just worried about you.

We know
what you're going through.

Oh, I'm sorry, Chuck.

I didn't realize
Anne-Marie was dead.

Oh, come on, Dan --

Why doesn't everybody
just leave me the hell alone?!

[ Sighs ]
[ Door closes ]

Dan gonna be okay?

Think so.

Um, sorry I dragged you guys
all the way over here.

Ah, it's okay.

We already lied to our wives
to get the night out.

We're gonna hit
the strip club.

You're welcome to join us
if you want to.

That's sweet.
I'll pass.

Becky:
I'm getting my jacket!

Now, you remember how,
back at the house,

everybody was arguing
about religion.

Well, the same thing
happens with politics

because it's very personal,
it's very private.

So, as a pollster,
your job is just remain neutral

and just -- you know,
just record the answers.

Okay?
Democracy in action.

Go get 'em.

Hello! I'm doing
a political poll for school.

Are you voting
Democrat or Republican?
Democrat.

Blue wave! 2020!

Sorry!
[ Laughs ]

Aunt Jackie,
you scared her.

Yeah, sorry.
I just felt a rush of hope,

and it just
got away from me.

Carry on.

Hi, I'm doing
a political poll for school.

Are you registered as
a Democrat or Republican?

Republican.

Did you vote
for higher property taxes

to pay for
funding of the arts?

No.

Uh, hi.

I'm Jackie,
I'm the aunt of the pollster.

Quick follow-up question.

So, there's proof that

communities
with more arts programs

have less crime,

and it enriches
our kids' lives,

and you like kids, right?

Nice bait,
but I'm not taking it.

I work hard
to pay my property taxes,

and there are
a lot more important things

to spend money on

than the city
wasting my taxes

on a giant mural
of a crying polar bear

underneath
a beach umbrella.

He's not crying,
he's sweating.

So, you've never
wasted money,

you and that
ridiculously huge pretzel.

You want to talk
about wasting money?

How about Obamacare?

How about the wall?

Benghazi.
Collusion.

Fake news.
Fake news!

Thank you!

Aunt Jackie, we're not
supposed to take sides.

You're messing up
the poll.

I know. I get it.

Ohh, here we go!

Oh, I figured
you'd show up.

I'll make up the couch for you.

I just need some help.

Oh, sure.

Right after
I get Dad out of his depression,

do the laundry,

make an ice-age diorama
of Illinois

for Mark's class.

Maybe while
I'm helping everybody,

I can strap a broom to my ass
and sweep the kitchen.

I can put these socks
in a ball for you.

Oh, thanks. That was the thing
I was most concerned about.

All right, what's up?

I need you and Dad
to go to church,

and I need you
to bring Mark and Harris.

What? Why?

So that Mary
will want to go.

I'm sorry, Deej.
You know, it's like,

the whole
organized religion thing,

it's up to you if you want
to believe there's a God,

but I can't turn my back
on my atheism.

It's the only thing
I believe in.

Mary and Geena used to love
to go to church together.

This was huge for them.

And I wrecked it.

Well, then,
you should fix it.

Come on. Please?

Oh, God.

Yes!
Just like that,

only louder
and like you believe it!

Just once
to fake the kid out.

Thank you!
Thank you!

Yeah, get off me.
Oh, sorry.

And just so you know,
it's gonna be me and Mark.

Harris is doing community
service for her school.

There's a red tide,

and she's shoveling dead fish
out of Lake Michigan.

Lucky.

Welcome to the group,
friend.

What's your name?
Dan.

But everybody
just keep going.

I'm good.

That's okay.

No pressure to talk here.

So, what
brings you here, Dan?

My wife died.

And?

I'm sorry. Were you looking
for something bigger?

No.

If you're like most of us here,
you're in pain,

and I just figured
you needed someone to talk to.

That's what
my family thinks.

And seeing as how I just blew up
at a bunch of my best friends,

maybe they're right.

But I'd just like to
listen for now.

You know,
we have a saying.

If you won't open up,
we can't come in.

What if I don't want you
to come in?

I understand your fears,
but I want you to know

I've been coming here
for 20 years now,

and it really helps.
Oh, my God,

I can't come back here
for 20 years.

I'll talk.

What am I supposed to say?

Tell us
what's bothering you.

I don't know.

You know
when you're a little kid,

and they tell you
in Sunday school

to live right, be a good person,
say your prayers,

and God will reward you?

I tried.

I mean,
I'm not just saying this.

I busted my ass
to play by the rules,

and here's my reward.

I'm 66 years old,
and I get to live

the rest of my life
without the woman I love.

God and I made a deal.

He did not come through
on his end.

Thanks for sharing, Dan.

We hope
you keep coming back.

Anyone else
want to share?

Uh, excuse me.

A-Aren't you gonna come in?

We came in
and listened.

Don't you feel better
now that you've shared?

No.

No, I don't.

Well, it takes time.

Paulie.

My wife is gone
20 years ago to the day,

and it still feels like
it was yesterday.

Now, I may have
told this story before,

but I picked up
this book --

I'm sorry to interrupt,
I'm sorry to interr--

I was gonna leave,
but then you stood up

and started talking,
and it got personal,

but I really didn't want
to stay for the whole thing.

Uh...

Here we are.

Uh...

Feel better, everybody.

[ Door closes ]

Darlene says
we got to get going.
[ Sighs ]

Nothing like
having a grumpy atheist

wake you up
at 7:00 in the morning

telling you you're gonna be
late to church.

I'm gonna have to
meet you there.

I need a couple of minutes
to finish this bike

and load it
on the trailer.

You sold the bike?

Yeah.

I'm delivering it
to the new owner

right after church.

Your mom didn't want me
riding it, anyway.

She was afraid
I'd get killed

and she'd have
to raise you alone.

She said [As Roseanne]
"You helped make this mess,

you're not
dumping it all on me."

[ Laughs ]

[ Normal voice ] So,
when you lost Mark...

[ Refrigerator door closes ]
[ Sighs ]

...did you ever find a cure
for waking up every morning

and looking for him?

Darlene and I got drunk
one night and talked about...

how I never really
sat still long enough

to make sense of it all.

So, I went home

and parked myself
in a chair for a week,

and by blocking out
all the noise in my life,

I got some clarity,

and I figured out
how to move forward.

So, you did it
all by yourself?

Then why were you
pushing me to sit around,

talk to a bunch of strangers
in a group?

Because
it kind of helped.

And everyone was
really concerned about you,

and I didn't want it to seem
like I didn't care.

Oh, so you don't care.

No.

I just know you.

Nobody's gonna tell you
how to fix something.

Time to go.

How long
do we have to stay?

Just long enough
for God to see your face.

And by God,
I mean Geena.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

So, when are we gonna
get back out there

and finish
that polling project?

I kind of changed it
into an essay.

It's about
how people don't listen.

They just
yell at each other.

And if we don't start listening
and being nicer,

we'll never be able
to get along.

I know.

Those people at the mall
were complete jerks.

Welcome, everyone.
God is good.

All: All the time.

All the time?
All the time!

Conners: God is good.
Yeah, he's good.

You have
such a progressive church

to have a woman preacher.

Oh, the preacher
comes out later.

That's the deaconess.

Oh, so you mean
like an M.C.?

Oh. Oh.
I'm learning so much.

That's the deaconess.
Preacher comes out later.

That's the deaconess.
Preacher comes out later.

[ Snaps fingers ]
That's the deaconess.

The preacher
comes out later.

[ Mouths word ]

I would like to point out
that one of our congregation

has just returned from
serving our country overseas.

Geena Conner, would you stand
and be recognized?

[ Applause ]

Baby, people stopped
raising the roof in 2005.

I understand that the rest
of the Conners are here, too.

Stand up so we know who you are.

I'm just teasing.
We know who you are.

Okay, everyone,
would you please rise,

as we praise God
with a song?

[ Piano plays ]

All:
♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

Deaconess: ♪ Yeah ♪

All:
♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

Whoo!
♪ This little light of mine ♪

Hey, I got your text.

What happened?

I wanted to help D.J.,
but I got to the church.

I just couldn't go in.

I'm not in a great place
with God right now.

Dad, you got to tell us
how we can help you.

You can't.

I have to do this myself.

But you're not.

You know,
you're not talking to us.

You're not talking
to your friends.

You won't go
to a meeting.

I went.

It was a bunch of people
yammering on

about how
they'll never get over

the loss of
their husbands and wives.

From what I saw,
it was the fun ones who died.

All right, so...

what do we do now?

Well,
I don't know about you,

but I'm going for a ride.

Boy, I sure hope you got
a bicycle in here someplace.

Nope.

You're --
you're 65 years old.

You haven't ridden
in forever.

Why are you doing this?

Because I need to.

I'm gonna
get out on the road

and ride
till I feel better.

Or feel something.

Hitting the pavement
at 80 miles an hour,

you're definitely
gonna feel something.

Who knows.

Maybe God and I
will meet up at a bar,

and he'll pick up the tab.

He really owes me.

All right.

How about this compromise?

You talk to God

while you're watching
"Easy Rider"

from your chair
in the front yard.

I love you.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, you're so young.

Uh, dad?
Yeah?

Say "hi" to Mom.

By the end
of the night,

I'm gonna own
that sweet motorcycle of yours.

It's not on table.

I'm having too much fun
riding it.

[ Rock music plays on speaker ]

That sounds
pretty good.

How come Anne-Marie wanted it
out of the house?

Eh, she's convinced
the Bluetooth speaker

is listening
and recording her recipes.

[ Laughter ]

Okay. Cards.

♪ Workin' in the coal mine ♪

♪ Goin' down, down, down ♪

♪ Workin' in the coal mine ♪

♪ Oops! About to slip down ♪

♪ Workin' in a coal mine ♪

♪ Goin' down, down, down ♪

♪ Workin' in a coal mine ♪

♪ Oops! About to slip down ♪

Isn't this is great?
♪ Five o'clock in the mornin' ♪

Friends coming together.
♪ I'm already up and gone ♪

Singing about coal.

♪ Lord, I'm so tired ♪
Supporting each other
through song.

♪ I'm too tired for havin' fun ♪
Love.

Man love.

♪ Workin' in a coal mine ♪

♪ Goin' down, down, down ♪

♪ Workin' in a coal mine ♪

♪ Oops! About to slip down ♪

♪ Workin' in a coal mine ♪

♪ Goin' down, down, down ♪