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1
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:04,540
Ooh, look at
this apartment.
2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:06,880
I mean, they want $1,100,
but it's worth it.
3
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:07,880
Are you kidding?
4
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,080
Look at the size
of that fridge.
5
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,290
It's tiny.
6
00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:13,250
That's a wine fridge,
Elly May.
7
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:15,960
Oh, hey, look.
8
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,830
This place
has got one of those,
9
00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:21,540
and it's got three bedrooms,
a bay window,
10
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,670
a fireplace,
hardwood floors,
11
00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:24,920
it's in our price range.
12
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,710
Something's gotta be wrong.
13
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:27,830
Let me check.
14
00:00:27,830 --> 00:00:28,960
Oh, yep.
15
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,920
Sex offender
a block away.
16
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,120
But he exposed himself
in a library,
17
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:35,380
so that doesn't really
affect us.
18
00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:38,580
Hey, guys.
19
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,710
I've got a surprise.
20
00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:41,880
We're going to Mexico!
21
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,080
Thank you, Jackie.
22
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,380
I was about
to tell them that.
23
00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:46,380
Oh, fine, well,
you tell them
24
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,960
how we're going to
the border bridge in El Paso
25
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,880
so that Emilio
can meet Beverly Rose
26
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,210
for the very first time.
27
00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:55,830
Oh, damn it.
I did it again.
28
00:00:57,170 --> 00:00:58,460
Well,
this seems very sudden.
29
00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:00,290
Uh, who's gonna run
the restaurant?
30
00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:02,710
Oh, well, uh,
Emilio had a couple days off,
31
00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:04,420
so it seemed like
a good time,
32
00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:06,040
and DJ said
that he would cover for us
33
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,250
until we got back.
34
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:09,750
Uh, you're aware
that DJ's gonna be
35
00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:12,080
doing magic tricks
for the customers, right?
36
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,290
You know what's great
for a restaurant?
37
00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:16,710
A filthy dove
walking across your plate
38
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,170
while you try to eat
a tuna melt.
39
00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:20,580
Gotta go. Bye.
40
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,120
Hey, Becky.
Yeah?
41
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,040
How can you afford
this trip?
42
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,040
Emilio's tías are paying
for the gas and hotels.
43
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,500
Hey, look, I know they're
putting pressure on you
44
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,540
to marry him
and make him legal,
45
00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:37,540
but you're not really thinking
of doing that, are you?
46
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:39,250
Becky is not gonna
fake some marriage
47
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,290
just to get Emilio
into the country.
48
00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:42,790
My God,
it would make it impossible
49
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:45,670
for her to meet
and date anybody for two years,
50
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,540
which is the amount of time
they have to spend
51
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,790
to pretend being married
to fool the government.
52
00:01:50,790 --> 00:01:53,040
Why are you so wired?
53
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,580
I just finished off
12 2-hour energy drinks
54
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,080
so that I'm, uh --
55
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,330
I'm good to drive
for...24 hours.
56
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,710
It doesn't really work
that way.
57
00:02:02,710 --> 00:02:04,830
They don't kick in
one after the other.
58
00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:05,960
It's all
at the same time.
59
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,120
So now
you're just gonna be
60
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,330
on the verge
of having a heart attack
61
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:09,420
for the next two hours.
62
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,790
Oh, my God, you're right.
63
00:02:10,790 --> 00:02:12,790
That explains
the thumping in my head.
64
00:02:12,790 --> 00:02:13,830
It's my heart.
65
00:02:13,830 --> 00:02:14,620
Let's get on the road.
66
00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,830
She's such
a scatterbrain.
67
00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:21,040
I don't know how she makes it
from one day to the next.
68
00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:28,790
Baby.
69
00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:32,790
Dan: Thanks again
70
00:02:32,790 --> 00:02:34,750
for the ride
from the grocery store.
71
00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:36,040
It would've been hard
72
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,620
walking back
with all this stuff.
73
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:40,250
Well, I was driving
down the street
74
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,460
and I-I saw
this sad old man
75
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,330
struggling
with a couple grocery bags.
76
00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:50,500
And I thought,
"Hey, there's my boyfriend...
77
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:53,290
and his face
isn't the right color."
78
00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:55,580
When I get my truck
out of the shop,
79
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,710
my face will be the right color
all the time.
80
00:02:59,040 --> 00:02:59,880
When are you
getting it back?
81
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,380
As soon as I give 'em
82
00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:03,830
all the money
I have left in the bank.
83
00:03:03,830 --> 00:03:05,670
I may be at the point
of going to the mall
84
00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:08,670
and hurling myself
down the escalator.
85
00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:10,830
Well, there's nobody
in the mall.
86
00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:13,580
You'll lay there for days.
87
00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:16,210
Hey, uh, you wanna
catch a movie or somethin'?
88
00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:18,880
I can't.
I got some stuff to do.
89
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,960
Uh, I'll see you later.
90
00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:23,920
You don't have stuff.
91
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,380
Why are you trying to
get rid of me?
92
00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:28,380
It's embarrassing.
93
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:29,500
I gotta go to the bank.
94
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,920
They're foreclosing
on the house.
95
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:33,960
Oh, my God.
96
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,380
Well,
why didn't you tell me?
97
00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:37,580
We're a couple now.
98
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:40,290
We're supposed to be there
for each other.
99
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:41,290
You're right.
100
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,540
Gimme $4,000.
101
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:46,500
I don't have it.
102
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:50,460
But I have cleavage,
and I know how to use it.
103
00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:52,500
Alright, let's go.
104
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,830
Better to have 'em
and not need 'em
105
00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:56,040
than need 'em
and not have 'em.
106
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:37,500
"The Conners" is recorded
107
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,000
in front of
a live studio audience.
108
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,500
Well, thanks for coming with me
to look at apartments, guys.
109
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:44,330
Oh.
Wow!
Nice.
110
00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:45,710
It's even better
than the pictures.
111
00:04:46,830 --> 00:04:48,670
Look at all
the architectural details.
112
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,750
You don't get this
in the newer buildings.
113
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,790
Oh, I love it.
114
00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:55,250
I'm hungry.
How long's this gonna be?
115
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,000
You said we were going
somewhere to eat.
116
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,540
We're here.
Nobody's home.
117
00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,000
Go to the fridge
and get whatever you want.
118
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,170
But before you go,
um, Darlene...
119
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,710
Yeah,
I think this is it.
120
00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:07,040
Alright, let's do it.
121
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,790
Guys, Ben and I
are moving in together,
122
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:13,250
and if we get
this place,
123
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:15,120
we're legally obligated
to bring you with us!
124
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,040
Together.
125
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:21,880
W-Why aren't you guys
excited?
126
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,830
Because we've been
through this before.
127
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:26,080
You said we were going
to move to Chicago with Ben,
128
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,620
and that didn't happen.
129
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:28,790
One of you is gonna
sleep with Dad
130
00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:31,080
and screw this up.
131
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,580
Well,
it is kinda my turn.
132
00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:36,750
You know what,
133
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:38,290
that's not gonna happen
this time.
134
00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:40,080
Go explore, have fun.
135
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:43,120
Yeah.
136
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,750
Guy. There's a guy.
137
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,710
There's a guy
in there.
138
00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:48,750
It's okay.
I'm Cyril.
139
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,210
I live here.
140
00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:53,750
So, feel free to, uh,
look around, but quietly.
141
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,670
I just got the bird
to sleep.
142
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,040
Relationships,
am I right?
143
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,580
Oh, uh,
you have a bird?
144
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:05,670
I'm so tired of hearing that.
145
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:08,250
No, I don't have a bird.
146
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,670
I'm with a bird.
147
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,710
We share the space.
148
00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:13,880
We're equals.
149
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:21,330
So...Cyril, um...
150
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:24,170
why are you leaving
such a great place?
151
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:26,500
Originally,
there were three of us.
152
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,460
Uh, but Pretty Bird
passed,
153
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:31,750
and now it's just me
and Mrs. Featherbottom.
154
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,080
She just can't be around
all the memories.
155
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:39,710
So, how soon will you
and Mrs. Featherbottom
156
00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,080
be leaving the apartment?
157
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,420
Uh, I haven't broken it
to her yet.
158
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:43,920
She's been here
since this was my mom's place.
159
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:44,960
Yeah.
160
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,960
She still hasn't
gotten over her death.
161
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,750
Wake up, Mommy.
162
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:49,960
Wake up, Mommy.
163
00:06:56,330 --> 00:06:58,750
He would be so perfect
for Jackie.
164
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,380
Wow.
Wish I had a bank like this.
165
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:10,500
I took a sandwich
into my bank once,
166
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,920
and they wouldn't even
cash my check.
167
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,460
'Course,
I didn't have any money.
168
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,580
This ham represents
40 years of friendship.
169
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,960
Jim helped me buy
that house.
170
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,920
And the day we closed,
I brought him a ham.
171
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,210
Now every time
I have a problem,
172
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,420
I bring him a ham,
and he helps me out.
173
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,290
Hey, Jim!
Hey, Dan.
174
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:33,380
Oh, Mr. Potter!
175
00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,170
Uh, this is Louise.
Hi.
176
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:38,210
And you remember ham.
177
00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,420
Of course.
178
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,080
Ham was at my wedding.
179
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,960
See, this is so great.
180
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,380
Big business
has gotten so faceless,
181
00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:50,290
but you guys are just,
"Hey neighbor, got a problem.
182
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,540
Here's a ham."
183
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,790
Well,
you know why I'm here.
184
00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:54,880
I just --
I need another month.
185
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,250
Or two.
186
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,790
Maybe three.
187
00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:00,710
But I won't take four
unless you insist.
188
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:04,580
Look, Dan,
I-I'd love to help you out,
189
00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:05,960
but I can't this time.
190
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,040
What?
191
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:10,330
Come on, Jim.
You're kidding, right?
192
00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:12,210
You know they're gonna
take my house.
193
00:08:12,210 --> 00:08:14,170
Yeah, I know that, Dan.
194
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:16,170
Y-You don't think
I wanna help ya?
195
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:18,170
Hey, Dan's good
for the money.
196
00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:20,380
Tell Jim about
that big apartment complex
197
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:23,000
you just bid on
over on Spaulding.
198
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,620
It's huge.
199
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,830
And the apartments
all have walls,
200
00:08:26,830 --> 00:08:28,880
which is great
for a drywaller.
201
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,210
Isn't that right, Dan?
202
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,790
That is right, Louise.
203
00:08:32,790 --> 00:08:34,000
Thank you, girls.
204
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:39,500
Look, i-i-it's not
up to me anymore.
205
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,040
You know,
we got bought out,
206
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,620
and I'm just trying to
hang on myself.
207
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:47,210
You know, they want somebody
cheaper and younger in my spot.
208
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,500
So they tell me what to do,
and I do it.
209
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,580
Well, they told you
to screw me over.
210
00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:54,880
No, they told me that
you're an unacceptable risk.
211
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,170
They got an algorithm now.
212
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:57,750
An algorithm.
213
00:08:57,750 --> 00:08:59,500
So I'm a number now.
214
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:02,330
I got some machine telling me
get out of my damn house.
215
00:09:02,330 --> 00:09:04,000
My whole family's
living there!
216
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,460
Where are they supposed to --
217
00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:12,380
That's not your problem.
218
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,420
Thanks anyway, Jim.
219
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,000
I'm sorry.
Hey, tell Gail
I said hi.
220
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,500
Look, it's your daddy!
221
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:34,330
Mi amor!
222
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:37,710
Ay. Ay, que lindisima.
223
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:40,620
Oh.
224
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:43,080
I can't believe
I'm actually holding her.
225
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,580
She's so wonderful.
226
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,120
You think that's good,
227
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,170
you should change
some diapers.
228
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,120
It's transcendent.
229
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,960
Thank you for driving
all this way.
230
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,210
Oh.
231
00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:58,500
Your tías were so helpful.
232
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,880
They even gave us little medals
with saints on them
233
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,670
to "take care of us."
234
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:05,080
I used one to scratch off
a lottery ticket in Missouri.
235
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,670
I won 10 bucks,
236
00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:09,380
so shout-out
to St. Christopher.
237
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:13,580
We are going
to have a great day.
238
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,620
I can't wait to show you
Parque Central.
239
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:20,040
Oh, my mother
gave me her earrings
240
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,790
for Beverly Rose.
241
00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:23,880
They're real gold
with little diamonds.
242
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,540
These are so nice.
243
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:29,790
Uh, I'll just put them
in my ears for safe keeping
244
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:31,620
'til she turns 18.
245
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,120
Oh, yes.
Yes, baby.
246
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,670
We're in Mexico.
247
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,540
Hey.
Is my dad around?
248
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:46,960
We saw the greatest apartment
yesterday,
249
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,210
and it's super
close by.
250
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,920
We gotta tell him.
251
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,540
Yeah, I brought him some beer
to celebrate.
252
00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:53,750
You know, it's not every day
your little 43-year-old girl
253
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,040
leaves the nest.
254
00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:58,290
Uh...
255
00:10:58,290 --> 00:10:59,620
That's great, you guys.
256
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:02,250
Uh, look,
before you tell your dad,
257
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,420
I gotta give you
a heads-up.
258
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,120
He's in trouble
with the mortgage.
259
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,210
The bank's gonna
take the house.
260
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:09,790
Well, he talked to Jim,
right?
261
00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:11,540
He brought the ham?
262
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,170
Yeah.
263
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,540
Yeah,
it didn't work.
264
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:15,830
He owes four grand.
265
00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:18,290
Four grand?!
266
00:11:18,290 --> 00:11:20,170
How the hell did he get
that far behind?
267
00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:21,920
I don't know.
268
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,880
You know,
work's been slow.
269
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:27,080
Sometimes things
just pile up on ya.
270
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,170
He's too proud
to tell you,
271
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:29,580
but I thought
you should know.
272
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,170
Damn.
273
00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:36,540
Just never ends
for you guys.
274
00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:39,080
One of your ancestors
mess with a witch or somethin'?
275
00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,830
I'm not gonna let my dad
lose his house.
276
00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:45,540
I hear ya.
277
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,210
Maybe we could, you know,
278
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:48,250
sell some more ads
for the magazine,
279
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,670
put together a few bucks.
280
00:11:49,670 --> 00:11:54,500
Or...we use our deposit money
for the new apartment
281
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:55,580
to bail him out.
282
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,710
Where are we supposed to go?
283
00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:01,420
Well, we could live here --
I mean, just for a while --
284
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:02,920
and help
with the mortgage payments
285
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,460
just until
he gets back on his feet.
286
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:07,620
Look, Darlene,
I know you love your dad,
287
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,330
and so do I,
288
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:12,040
but it's not gonna be
for a little while.
289
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,920
Um, he is a 65-year-old
construction guy,
290
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,330
and he's not just gonna suddenly
start making more money.
291
00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:22,540
Look, I-I'm sorry.
My dad needs me.
292
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,380
Darlene.
293
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:27,500
Look, I don't want to
live here, okay?
294
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,500
We finally agreed
to move in together
295
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,420
so we can start
our own life.
296
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,080
Now, what, you're gonna
make me the bad guy
297
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,170
'cause I don't wanna
move into your childhood home?
298
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,250
Look,
we can't lose this house.
299
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,380
It will kill my dad.
300
00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:41,580
And every memory
I have is here.
301
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:44,620
Staying up all night,
fighting with Becky in our room,
302
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:46,710
teaching DJ
how to sled down the stairs
303
00:12:46,710 --> 00:12:48,000
on a piece of cardboard.
304
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:53,250
I mean, this is the last place
I saw my mom alive.
305
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,250
I don't want some other family
moving in here
306
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,620
and erasing
all those memories.
307
00:12:56,620 --> 00:13:00,040
Hey, look,
those memories are in you.
308
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,290
They are not
in this house.
309
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:04,330
Now, I know that
this is hard for you,
310
00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:07,210
but it is not the kids' job
to rescue the parents
311
00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:09,750
at the expense
of their own lives.
312
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,540
You can't save everybody.
313
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,330
Yeah, of course
you feel that way now,
314
00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:15,290
but eventually, your parents
will need help, too,
315
00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:17,080
and I will do
whatever it takes.
316
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,580
But you won't have to,
317
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,120
because my parents
have paid off their house,
318
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,000
they have a fat pension
and long-term health insurance.
319
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:26,710
Well, tell those
arrogant bastards
320
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:28,670
to get over here,
grab a bucket,
and start bailing,
321
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:31,380
'cause the Conners
are going down!
322
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,540
That was really fun.
323
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:38,210
The people here
are so nice,
324
00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:40,170
and I noticed
the tequila's so cheap!
325
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,790
The people here
are so nice
326
00:13:41,790 --> 00:13:44,170
because the tequila's
so cheap.
327
00:13:44,170 --> 00:13:45,920
Well, I'm glad
I didn't come here
328
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,120
when I was a drunk.
329
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,540
I would've died.
330
00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:53,000
Hey, you being a drunk
wasn't all bad.
331
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,040
We made
a beautiful baby.
332
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,790
Yeah, we did.
333
00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:02,210
Uh, well,
I guess we gotta go.
334
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,500
Goodbye, Beverly Rose.
335
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,420
There you go.
336
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,210
Yes.
337
00:14:15,210 --> 00:14:17,040
I might not be there
to watch you grow up...
338
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,080
...but I promise to FaceTime you
as much as I can.
339
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,250
Te amo, mi amor.
340
00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:27,380
Que dios te bendiga.
341
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:29,830
This won't be the last time
you see her.
342
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:32,120
I'll come back, like,
every few months.
343
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,710
No, you won't.
344
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:37,080
You can't afford to,
and I understand that.
345
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,790
I will.
346
00:14:39,790 --> 00:14:41,880
You'll see.
347
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:48,920
Bye, Emilio.
348
00:14:56,670 --> 00:14:59,210
So, do you wanna
get married?
349
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,250
If you're looking
for the ice cream,
350
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,250
it was full of
all those weird ice crystals,
351
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,210
so I made the kids
eat it.
352
00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:15,920
Holy crap.
353
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,420
What happened?
354
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:20,040
A guy owed me money
for a drywall job,
355
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,960
and he wouldn't pay me
in full.
356
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,000
We negotiated,
357
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,080
and we thought
the best way to settle it
358
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,920
was to punch each other
in the face.
359
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,620
I got 200 bucks out of it,
though.
360
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:32,120
Whoa.
361
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,460
What's the other guy
look like?
362
00:15:33,460 --> 00:15:36,670
Oh, about 6'1",
brown hair,
363
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:40,210
pretty good-looking,
'til he had the broken nose.
364
00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:42,330
Dad, you can't go around
beating people up
365
00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:43,580
who owe you money
366
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:45,420
just to keep the bank
from taking the house.
367
00:15:45,420 --> 00:15:47,580
Damn it, Louise shouldn't have
told you that.
368
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,620
Well, I'm glad she did.
369
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:49,670
I want to help you out.
370
00:15:49,670 --> 00:15:51,250
You already help me out!
371
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,460
I don't see anybody else
around here
372
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:57,040
filling up old water bottles
with gas station hand soap.
373
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,830
I'm talking about
the mortgage.
374
00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:00,290
You don't have the money.
375
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:03,120
Well, you know what,
I'll -- I'll sell my car,
376
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,120
and I'll take the bus.
377
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,420
I'll get a second job.
378
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:06,580
I'll go back to the casino.
379
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:08,250
I will do whatever it takes
380
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:09,330
so that we don't
fall behind again.
381
00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:10,580
No,
you're not doing that.
382
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:12,880
Your dad's right.
383
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,330
You're not doing that.
384
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:19,250
We're doing that.
385
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:22,170
Now, together,
Darlene and I have enough
386
00:16:22,170 --> 00:16:24,080
to pull you
out of the hole,
387
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,540
and then, you know,
we'll take over the mortgage.
388
00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:28,000
No, you won't.
389
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,460
Mark told me
about the apartment.
390
00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:31,170
I'm not taking
your deposit money.
391
00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,920
I will not be a burden
on you kids.
392
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,460
No, you're not a burden.
393
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:36,620
I mean, you always
figured out a way
394
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,920
to keep this roof
over our heads.
395
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,120
It's our turn now.
396
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,670
The bank's
not taking my house.
397
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:42,120
You're not
taking my house.
398
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,580
I will figure
something out.
399
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,710
Don't be so stubborn,
Dan.
400
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:48,120
Look, we're helping ya,
and that's that.
401
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,920
I already kicked
a couple asses today.
402
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,170
Don't make me kick yours.
Boop!
403
00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,460
That was a hero moment
404
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:01,580
that was
super unsatisfying.
405
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,460
Not to me.
406
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:06,500
Thank you.
407
00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,420
Hey, you don't think
he's crazy enough
408
00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:15,250
to let the bank
come for the house
409
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,460
instead of
taking our help?
410
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:18,670
Well, you know,
411
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,120
we've got a little time
to work on him
412
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,920
before the eviction.
413
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,040
He's probably got about
six months
414
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,210
before the house sells
at auction.
415
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,380
Now, that's
when the sheriff comes
416
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,790
and grabs your dad,
417
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:29,500
drags him out
kicking and screaming.
418
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,170
And, of course, if he has
any weapons in the house,
419
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:33,040
it could end up being
a SWAT situation.
420
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,880
And as I understand it,
if the guy has a shot,
421
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,960
he'll take the shot.
422
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,250
Uh, your "everything
is gonna be alright" speech
423
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:42,290
needs some work.
424
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,830
iHola, mi familia!
425
00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:50,330
Hey!
Oh!
426
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:51,830
How was Mexico?
427
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,710
It was good.
428
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:55,540
I dropped Jackie off
at home.
429
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:56,960
God, that woman can talk.
430
00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:59,710
Oh, she was going on and on
431
00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:02,920
about how she used to date
Dr. Seuss back in the day,
432
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,710
40 years ago,
433
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,750
but he would never reveal
his true identity.
434
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,960
She claims she did him
on a plane.
435
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,120
She swears she did him
on a train.
436
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,460
Heeey!
Hey.
Hey, welcome back, Becky.
437
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:16,460
Hey, Beck.
438
00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:18,210
Hey!
Mm.
439
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:19,460
How was the trip?
440
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:21,040
Yeah,
how's Emilio doing?
441
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,880
Uh,
he's changed a little bit.
442
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,750
Um, he's married now.
443
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,420
Sorry, Becky.
444
00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:29,040
Don't be.
445
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,250
He's married to me.
446
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,710
What the hell
are you talking about?
447
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:37,710
Uh...I don't know.
448
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:39,830
I saw Emilio
with Beverly Rose,
449
00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:41,380
and I thought,
450
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:44,080
how would I feel
if I couldn't see her?
451
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,420
And I then I said,
"Don't look back,
452
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:46,710
don't look back,
don't look back."
453
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,830
And then I did...
454
00:18:48,830 --> 00:18:50,580
and then I married him.
455
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,120
Wow.
456
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,250
So, he's moving in?
457
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,790
Relax.
458
00:18:56,790 --> 00:18:58,790
He has to stay in Mexico
for two years
459
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:00,960
while we pretend
we're in a real marriage.
460
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,960
Then he can get a waiver
to come back.
461
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,460
Oh, you better be
damn careful.
462
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:06,750
You're breaking the law.
463
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:08,290
They could
throw you in jail.
464
00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:11,000
Ooh, diamonds.
465
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,830
If you go to jail,
466
00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:13,880
I can wear those earrings
467
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,170
to keep 'em safe
while you're gone.
468
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,620
Hola, Becky.
469
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,500
What are you doing here?
470
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,380
Once I held Beverly Rose,
I realized
471
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,540
I didn't want to miss
any more of her life.
472
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,500
Emilio, the point of us
getting married
473
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,620
was so you could
come back legally
474
00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:43,120
and be part of
Beverly Rose's life.
475
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,960
If they catch you here,
you'll be banned forever.
476
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,750
You're supposed to be
in Mexico.
477
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:49,540
Check it out. I am.
478
00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:52,580
Here is me in Juarez
479
00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:54,920
celebrating 2021
with my New Year's glasses.
480
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,830
Here's me in Juarez
gaining a little weight
481
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,170
in the winter of 2021
482
00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:05,210
and then taking off the weight
in the summer.
483
00:20:05,210 --> 00:20:08,120
It's a good thing
you took off the weight,
484
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,540
because you're gonna have
to run from immigration
485
00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:12,710
when they catch you here!
486
00:20:12,710 --> 00:20:13,750
Go now!
487
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,880
It's late!
488
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,000
There's no traffic!
489
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,210
I'll be fine.
490
00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:20,540
I'll be staying
with my tías.
491
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,710
But right now, I really want
to see Beverly Rose.
492
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,040
Okay.
493
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,000
But you showing up here
without telling me is wrong.
494
00:20:30,290 --> 00:20:32,250
This lack of communication
495
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,710
does not bode well
for our fake marriage.
496
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,210
Bienvenidos. Bien--
497
00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:44,920
Uh, uh, uh, uh,
quick question.
498
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,500
Is this where
you're teaching your kids
499
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,540
how to appropriate
somebody else's culture?
500
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,500
Yeah, I'll bet you can't wait
to get home,
501
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,960
"talk in an accent,"
502
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,880
put those sombreros
down on the ground,
503
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,920
dance around them while
your kids shake the maracas.
504
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,500
You know who can't afford
those maracas --
505
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,040
the kids that make
the maracas.
506
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,710
Yeah, keep walkin'.
507
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:03,620
Bienvenidos.
508
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,960
Oh, classic. Piñatas.
509
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,420
You gonna take those home
510
00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:10,420
to your little entitled
white-kid family?
511
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:11,920
Alright, go ahead.
512
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,790
Shout "Ay-yi-yi,"
beat the burro with a stick.
513
00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,960
Latinos come
in all colors.
514
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,880
We're Mexican, dumbass.
515
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,040
Ohh.
35900
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