Original subtitles

Aunt?

I had to give her this.

Where should I put it?

Put it on the bed.

Give me Aunt's number.

- Sit. - What?

Sit down.

9969...

69334

- Should I repeat it? - No.

Thank you.

Wha... Wha... Wh...

What is your name?

Madhubala.

Madhu.

And yours?

Vasant.

Vasya.

Vasya, are there any ladies at home?

Yes, my mother.

One minute.

This is for your mother.

From Madhu creations.

Thank you.

It's ringing.

Your phone is ringing. Pick it up.

It's Aunt.

Where are all the doctors?

Let's check here.

Go ahead. Take him with you.

MUMBAI: SUDDEN POWER CUT IN BYCULLA

MUMBAI: CYCLE STRIKE IN LALBAUG CAUSES TRAFFIC JAM

23 CHINESE APPS BANNED IN INDIA

ACTOR RAJ ARYAN HAS BEEN ARRESTED

Sister! Get the bed ready.

Sir! There is going to be a power outage tonight.

Please make arrangements for a generator truck.

How do you know?

My uncle works at the BMC.

Call Dr. Ruhana.

And tell the truck driver to avoid the Lalbaug flyover.

There will be a protest there.

Are you a traffic cop?

No, my aunt's husband is.

Let go of me.

Your uncle is in the BMC And in the traffic police

while you're roaming around in a hospital like you're unemployed.

- Don't you have a job? - Listen to me, sir.

Hey Vasya! Let's go.

Are you done with your social service?

Let's go.

I think Shetty is the one behind all of this.

Why would he steal his own money?

Because he is jealous of you.

- Why? - Because I love you.

Do you love me?

You never do anything when you come to meet me.

You just sit outside thinking about it.

Does it hurt?

But I didn't call you here to talk about that.

Look at this.

I have a boon.

On this phone,

I receive all the news before it even happens.

It's like, getting the news before the incident occurs.

Look at this.

- What? - The earthquake in Delhi.

Are you okay?

There is nothing on here.

- You can't see it? - No.

DELHI ROCKED BY AN EARTHQUAKE

Hey, isn't that your favourite hero?

He is going to prison tonight.

So what?

He deserves it.

Listen to me.

Look at this.

Shetty left the Janta Navnirman Party

and shifted to another party.

To become the Deputy CM in the coming election.

This is going to cause trouble, I am telling you.

Are you high?

I got my hands on magic!

The news I receive on this phone comes true eventually!

I receive news before it even happens, Madhu.

You have such a powerful boon and you manage a latrine?

I am telling you the truth. This is a huge problem!

First I had the money stolen and now this.

Please help me, my dear.

If I don't return Aunt's money by tomorrow

then Shetty's boys will show up at my house.

- What should I do with this boon? - Shove it up your ass.

Yes, Aunt? Yes, I was just getting some bread.

I will be right there.

Look, forget about all of this.

And think of a way to return Shetty's money.

And give me my fees.

Bro! Bro!

- Bro! There is a huge problem! - What happened?

Shetty has changed parties!

That bastard is a traitor!

He is not picking up.

It looks like that useless guy has disappeared with my money.

If I don't get my money by tomorrow,

then that boy will disappear.

Forever.

Baby.

My best friend.

- He is a nice guy. - Let's go.

- Baby, baby. - Let's go.

You go up.

Make mood.

Peter come soon.

Okay. Okay.

Hey fucker, what is wrong?

What happened?

Forget it. Everyone thinks I am an idiot.

What happened, man?

Tell me. What happened?

Why?

Even I want to call you an idiot.

It was just a joke! Sorry, sorry. Please, tell me.

Tell me. What happened?

I am facing a weird new problem.

I have a boon.

- What? - On this phone,

I receive news about every incident before it occurs.

Really?

Smelling piss and shit all-day has turned your brain to shit.

I have a boon! Shut up!

Look at this.

In Chor Bazaar,

inside a vase in a shop known as Royal Antique,

a customer discovers gold.

The customer bought the vase for 50,000

and sold it for 9 lakhs.

9 lakhs?

I am fucking sober now!

Are you serious?

Do you have a photo?

Yes, but you won't be able to see it.

What? Why not?

Because it hasn't happened yet!

This is my boon, only I can see it.

Before it even happens. It's like magic.

Magic?

My friend.

We can become the kings of Bombay!

Do you believe my story?

I can't believe the fact that I am alive,

but I still keep living. Don't I?

Let's see if you have a boon or you're just high.

When you say you get the news before it even happens...

How early do you receive it exactly?

The news about the rain...

I received that six hours in advance.

I got the news about the bridge falling one hour in advance.

And I received the news about the vase one day ago.

The time of the incident is written on top of the article.

But it's not fixed.

Fine. Fine. Fine.

How about we start by concentrating on buying the vase.

- But how do we get the money? - Hey.

- Do you have it? - No.

No, I mean... Let's try to figure it out tomorrow morning.

We can get money anytime!

And besides...

baby is in the mood upstairs.

And downstairs in my pants...

Little Peter has turned into Spider-man.

Got it? See you. Let's try it tomorrow morning.

Baby!

Baby? Baby.

Dumbass.

Shazia!

- Go ahead. - Yes, he asked for

two cream rolls, three chicken pattice and two kheema pav.

Total 153 rupees.

That's right.

It's 153 sir.

Here.

This is 150. It's 153.

Your bread was stale last time.

No sir, everything we sell is fresh.

Oh no!

I know more about bread than you do.

He says it's fresh...

He wants to teach me.

No sir, you are...

Yes, tell me what you want.

Everything is fresh!

That guy...

Shazia!

I am going to make a round around Sun Tower to sell eggs.

Please keep an eye on the shop.

- Mehboob? - Yes?

- I needed to talk to you. - Sure, go-ahead Vasant.

I have a boon.

My phone receives news before it even happens.

- What? - I have a boon.

On this phone,

I receive news before it even happens.

Are you on something?

Well... you know Shetty right?

I lost his money. 5 lakhs.

5 lakhs?

Oh, God.

Did you really lose it or did you take it?

But stop with all this nonsense about boons.

Listen, I need an investor.

Someone who trusts me.

I will definitely double or triple your investment in two days.

Do you know that

all the addicts in our neighbourhood say these things.

Just take a risk and see what happens.

I own a bakery

which doesn't make money for two days in a row sometimes!

I don't want to take a risk.

Listen to me.

Don't get involved with these shady people.

Work hard at your job!

But Mehboob!

Uncle!

Vasya!

Vasya!

- My father is dead! - What?

Back in my village, my father passed away.

That's what I told Madhu and Mehboob.

And I got the money to buy the vase.

We have to make 9 lakhs, right?

Forget about this pocket change. Let's go.

Wait! Hey, Peter!

Wait!

We are so lost.

Do you know where Royal Antiques is?

- I don't know. - This dumbass has no clue.

Do people even live here?

- Oh man. - How do we find this place?

Where is this shop of yours?

It would have been easier to look for treasure in the sea

instead of looking for a shop in Chor Bazaar.

Just wait. Stop crying.

Should we check ahead?

Where is it Vasya?

Look! The treasure in the sea.

Hey, that's Goyal antiques!

My phone's screen is broken

and that is why I read Goyal as Royal.

Let's go.

What do you need, sir?

Um... I...

Till... what time is the shop open?

We just opened it, sir. Half an hour back.

Oh, so you make jokes too?

You look like an antique too!

I want this.

Go and get a bill for it.

I will.

Pack this. Here. This is 50,000.

And this is a 100-rupee tip for you.

At least ask for the price first.

- It costs 2 lakhs. - What? 2 lakhs?

Yes.

- That is too much. - Then don't buy it.

Look, let's not bargain.

- How about 55? - If you don't want it then leave.

Don't mess with me early in the morning. Get out.

Fine, we don't want it.

Keep it. I don't want it.

Don't just stare at me!

Stop him! Don't let him get away!

He broke my vase!

If we caught him we could have made him pay the money...

What do we do now?

- What do you want? - How much for this?

It is a damaged piece, sir.

So, how much?

Take for 50,000.

Yeah, keep going.

Hey, check that news again.

You said the vase was for 50,000!

I read it properly. I don't know how...

Hurry up and check it again.

Japan's former Prime Minister has passed away.

He can go fuck himself. See if there is anything else.

A small businessman from Anujwadi, Manish Bhosle,

answers worth 1 crore rupees.

He won a substantial prize money on a live game show.

Our Manish Bhosle?

- Manish Bhosle who? - He is...

- He is... - Who is he?

He is Madhu's...

friend.

- Give me your phone. Hurry. - Did I get a message too?

- Yes? - Madhu? Where are you?

I am buying dress materials.

I need a favour.

Go ahead.

Give me Manish Bhosle's number.

- Why? - He might be involved in something.

Forget that asshole.

He is very wild.

Just give me the number.

Fine, I am sending it.

And listen, you need to disappear for a few days.

Shetty is looking for you.

Send it to Peter's number.

I will.

Welcome back, this is a live quiz show.

You don't get any second chances here.

So, Mr. Bhosle!

You have already won 25 lakh rupees.

The next question is for 50 lakh rupees.

And the question is from history.

The third Battle of Panipat...

The third Battle of Panipat

was won by which side?

I will now give you options. Option A.

Ahmad Shah Durrani.

Option B. Timur Shah Durrani.

Option C. Emperor Akbar.

Or Option D. Mehboob Gir is the second.

Please think carefully before answering.

Wow, it looks like he knows the answer.

- Vasya, I forgot to tell you. - Mr. Bhosle's answer is...

- Bhosle can't speak. - ...Option A.

Ahmad Shah Durrani.

Sorry.

What do you think? Is this the right answer?

He is absolutely right! You have won 50 lakhs!

Congratulations Mr. Bhosle!

Oh, this dumb man won 50 lakhs!

Hurry up and call him.

Hurry.

But we will continue after this break.

- Hello? - Hey, Bhosle?

Bhosle is busy. This is his wife speaking. Call him back later.

Mr. Bhosle is busy. Okay, I will call again later... Wait.

I know the answer to the question worth 1 crore rupees.

And who are you?

Vasya. The price for the correct answer is...

30 lakhs.

Vasya who?

- Latrine manager. - Alpa's son?

Hey! I have the answer.

And the price is 30 lakhs.

Do you want it?

Why would I give you 30 lakhs?

If Bhosle quits, he will take 10 lakh home with him.

If he gives the wrong answer then that goes down to 1 lakh.

And if he wins

he gets 1 crore.

I can change your fate before the TV people.

Sir, you will be introduced again after the break.

And your medical...

That is my husband!

I have to give him prasad for good luck.

Welcome back to Jeeto 1 Crore the live quiz show.

Mr. Bhosle has been playing really well and has won 50 lakhs!

And now we have the question for 1 crore.

Mr. Bhosle...

What's going on here?

Where is Mehboob?

He is praying namaz.

Okay, Mr. Bhosle would like to answer the question

for 1 crore and keep playing.

The question is, what is the capital

of the country known as Kiribati.

Option A. Bairiki.

Option B.

Tarawa.

Option C.

Hey! T for Tarawa!

Rawannawi.

Or option D.

Tabiauea.

Son of a bitch! Why not give him the full answer?

What is the point of giving them T?

Bloody dumbass.

I can't see it! The screen is broken.

You cannot quit anymore, you have to answer this Mr. Bhosle.

Mr. Bhosle's answer is...

Option B.

Tarawa.

Hah! He lost the money.

The right answer is Tabiauea.

I’m unable to understand.

Is this a blessing or a curse?

Is this a rain of good fortune

or is fate pissing on me?