Original subtitles

[gentle music]

[glass pops] [glass shattering]

[gentle energetic music]

[insects chirping]

[Amy laughs]

[Billy moans]

[Amy and Billy laughing]

- [Billy] Come to me now.

This is how it's going to happen.

[Amy laughing]

[hands slap] [Billy laughing]

[meteoroid whistling]

[ground rumbling]

- Whoa, what was that?

- What was what?

- Was that, was that an earthquake?

- [scoffs] Oh, come on, baby, you know you rock my world.

- Oh, my God, I'm serious.

You could, you felt that too, right?

- Of course.

I mean you know the earth shakes for me

every time I kiss those lips of yours.

- Oh, my God, Billy, stop, stop.

We could be in real danger here.

- I'll say.

We got a real Krakatoa situation going on.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Could be a magnitude of 8.0 at the least.

- Oh, eight, huh?

- Uh-huh, a fault line devastator.

- Oh, my God.

You're an idiot. - Uh-huh.

- You know what your brain ceases

to operate when you get an erection.

- Yeah, yeah.

- And you just, you just don't pay attention

to anything I say.

- Yes.

[Amy laughs]

[ominous music]

[ship whirring]

[steam hissing]

[alien chirping]

[alien chirping]

Whoa, whoa. - What?

- Did you feel that?

- [Amy] What?

- Jesus Christ.

- What, what?

- Oh, my God. - What, what, what?

[Billy laughing]

Goddammit.

- Oh, you shoulda seen your face.

Ah! [laughing]

- You almost- - Ow.

- Gave me a heart attack you-

- Ow. - Bastard.

- What?

- Don't do that.

- I'm sorry, I thought I felt another earthquake coming.

- Oh, yeah, right.

- Oh, I'm sorry that my over caution

to protect you is an inconvenience. [laughs]

- Don't make fun of me.

- Oh. - No.

- Come on. - Uh-uh, I hate you.

- Come on.

- No. - Just give in.

- No, stay away from me you jerk.

- [Billy] Just kidding.

[branch snaps]

- Okay, what was that?

- Okay, quit goofing off, it's time to get nasty.

- I'm, I'm serious.

- What?

- What was that?

- What was what? - Shh.

Listen.

[footsteps crunching]

[branch snaps]

[branch snaps]

What the fuck is that?

- Who knows.

It was an animal or something.

- Go check.

- Go check for what?

- I, I don't, maybe there's a bear.

- Okay, and me checking on it is gonna do what?

- Take the knife.

Please.

Thank you.

Hurry. - I'm doing it.

- [Amy] God.

- The things I do for love.

- Babe, hurry up.

Go, go, go.

Love you.

[Billy groans]

- Fucking ridiculous.

Fucking balls are freezing.

Jesus Christ.

[sighs] Fuck.

There's nothing out here, sweetie.

[suspenseful music]

Can I come inside now?

I really wanna fuck you.

[mental patient yells] [ax thuds]

- Billy!

No, no!

Help!

No!

No!

[Amy screaming]

- Th-th-that's all folks.

- No!

No!

Somebody help me!

Help!

[lips flapping]

[Amy screaming]

Help, help!

Somebody help me!

Help!

No, no, no, no, please, please,

please stay away from me.

[Amy screaming] [mental patient laughing]

[Amy screaming]

[mental patient yelling]

[Amy screaming]

[mental patient laughs]

[Amy screaming]

Help!

[Amy screaming]

[ominous pulsating tone]

[Amy whimpering]

- What the fuck?

[Amy panting]

[vampire screeching]

[fast tempo rock music]

[ship whirring]

[traffic humming]

[siren wailing]

[car door bangs]

- Oh, my God, it's been a whole three fucking days.

I missed you.

Uh, I am dying for caffeine.

Holy shit, I'm so hungover.

- [laughs] What'd you get into last night?

- Buzz and I hit the Crystalline

for some dancing and drinking.

Nothing to cray, but I- - Yeah, right.

- Didn't fucking eat anything as per usu.

- Oh, no. - I know, I know, I know.

Come on, the guys are already loading up the car,

and are about to head over to pick us up.

And I'm like dying for a caramel macchiato.

- [Cassiopeia] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[birds chirping]

[lighter clicks]

- There was additional word from NASA this morning

concerning the astroid that collided

with Earth just 12 hours ago.

Radio telemetry from the seismometers

planted at the base of Mt. St. Helens

had indeed recorded the shock of the impact

as a 2.2 on the Richter scale.

Now this object that fell- - Oh, shit, dude,

I didn't realize there was a meteor shower last night, damn.

- Small as far as these things go.

About eight meters across,

which is much bigger than your average bus.

- What the fuck are my tax dollars paying for anyway?

- What the fuck do tax dollars

have to do with the meteor shower?

- Whatever, time to get high.

- Sounds good to me.

God, dude, I've been waiting for this weekend

for literally weeks at this point.

[water bubbling]

Jesus, this will be nice.

[Buzz coughing]

- Oh, shit.

There you go, dude. - Hand this.

- Okay, so checklist.

First the essentials.

So what do we got?

We got the half ounce of the, the Northern Lights.

Um, we got the, uh, couple, couple pre rollie ollies

of that Space Dust swag.

That is good shit by the way.

Some of those sour gummy edibles.

A 10 pack, which actually is now a nine pack.

We got the Grey Paw for the ladies.

We got half G of the Skull.

Half G of Jager.

A pint of the Rebel Yell,

and uh, ja, ja, ja, ja,

oh, uh, some of that nasty ass Duck wine

that Cassie requested.

- Right, the, um, Wandering Duck.

It's, it's all right.

- Uh, dude, no, that shit taste like it was made by a clown.

Now for the non-essentials.

- [sighs] Right, so sleeping bags.

Uh, we've got the flashlights.

We've got first aid kits or a first aid kit.

And then let's see I got my walking stick.

Don't wanna forget about that.

Some sunscreen.

Playing cards for entertainment.

Maybe some dominoes in there as well.

Yep, definitely have the dominoes.

Uh, hotdogs and burgers are in the cooler.

And then I also got some stuff for, uh, for some smores,

'cause it's just not a camping trip without it,

so I think that about does it.

- Dope, man.

Models of modern efficiency.

- Hell yeah.

[Buzz laughs]

I can't wait.

- [Barista] Okay, caramel macchiato

with a chocolate drizzle.

Pike's dark roast, no cream, no sugar.

- Thank you.

- Can I get you guys anything else?

- No.

- I think we're good.

Thanks. - Absolutely.

You two enjoy. - Thank you.

- I cannot stand that fake ass chipper attitude.

Anyway how are you?

How are things going with Yuri?

- Things are good.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- See what'd I tell you?

Not all of Buzz's friends are dumb cooze hounds,

just most of them.

[Cassiopeia laughs]

- I know, I know, you were right.

Thanks, girl.

- Yeah.

- [Cassiopeia] Thank you. [laughs]

- So you and Cassie?

- Yeah, what about it?

- She's like your main chick now, huh?

- Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess so.

- That's dope, man, I dig it.

- Yeah.

- I guess not all of Starr's friends

are catty gossip queens.

- No, man, she's, uh, she's really cool.

I, I like her a lot.

- Did you fuck her yet?

- Bro, dude, she is super fucking hot come on.

- But did you fuck her yet?

- [Yuri] [laughs] Dude, she's practically screaming for me.

- [Buzz] Ah, you didn't fuck her yet.

- Girl, seriously, haven't you been seeing him

for like a month?

- Almost two.

- Fuck, Cass.

I deprive Buzz for more than 36 hours

and he starts freaking out,

I'm gonna break up with him or some shit.

Uh.

- Uh, no.

Yeah, we've been taking it really slow.

He's been really sweet about it actually.

Really.

- So do you think this weekend?

- I don't wanna rush it you know?

Like I, believe it or not trying not to fuck this one up.

- How are you gonna fuck this up?

She's clearly into you.

She's stuck around this long didn't she?

- [Yuri] I guess you have a point.

- Bro, listen up, she is one of Starr's friends,

she's hungry for it, man.

Give her a slice.

- Before he finds someone who will girl,

'cause you know they always do.

Fucking men.

- Yeah, maybe.

Maybe.

Um, I guess we'll have to see.

- Oh, shit we gotta go.

The guys will be there to pick us up like really soon.

- I'll follow you.

- Yeah, hurry up that bit.

- [Buzz] Ah, man, how did we get so dry so fast?

- [Yuri] Yeah, we fucked that up.

- Oh, man. - Jesus Christ.

- Hello, welcome to Jane.

How may I help you today?

- Well, that depends, sweet cheeks.

What do you recommend?

- Mm, Blue Dream.

- Blue Dream?

Good choice.

I bet your everybody's dream.

- Ooh, I sure am.

Would you like some?

- I would love some.

What do you think Blue Dream?

- I second that.

- [Buzz] Oh, that's what we'll go with.

- Perfect, I'll get that for you.

- Excellent.

Oh, 11:00.

Ah, fuck it, Starr's never ready on time for anything.

- Come on, Buzzy.

Fuck, pick up.

- They're probably driving.

- Yeah, well, fucking God, you know what?

This time it's not my fault.

Not my fault this time.

- Hey, here we go.

Ay.

- Stella!

- About fucking time. - Nice.

[car door bangs]

- What's up?

- Oh, is that Yuri's sister?

- Larissa, yeah.

You haven't met her yet?

- No, not yet, but, uh, Yuri's parents

were saying something about getting her

out of the house more.

- So we gotta babysit

just so her parents can get laid, great.

- What?

Who's getting laid?

- Not you.

- [Buzz] What?

What did I do?

- Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting?

- What 15 minutes?

Plus Yuri was the one driving.

- Whatever.

You smell like you bathed in bong water.

[hand tapping]

- Hey. - Hey, babe.

- Hi.

- How are you doing?

- I'm good.

How you doing?

- Doing well. - Good.

- [Yuri] You look really pretty today.

- Thank you.

- I'll grab these bags.

That.

- Hey, guys, come on, let's go.

Andale, por favor.

[hand taps]

[car door bangs]

- Hey, Larissa, right?

- You must be Cassiopeia.

- Yeah, yeah, Cassie for short.

Um, yeah, it's nice to finally meet you.

- Likewise.

[car door bangs] [gentle music]

- [Ryan] We can go swimming.

- [Hiker] Yeah.

- [Ryan] I, I didn't bring my trunks,

but we can always skinny dip.

- [Hiker] Yeah, I'm down for it, sure.

- Cool.

Well, let's go.

Well, you know I used- - Let's just

head to the river.

- Well, yeah.

I used to be a little skinnier,

but I gained about 50 pounds

so I think this time I'll be chunky dunking.

- [Hiker] Maybe it will help you float.

- Oh, it will.

Oh, it's like that old movie.

They all float if they got the belly.

- [Hiker] Yeah, I don't think that's the movie

that you're talking about, but.

- [Ryan] But, but wasn't that like that,

that movie called "That"?

- [Hiker] No, it's called, "It".

- "It". - It is.

- "It Is"?

I've never seen it "It Is".

[vampire screeching]

[gentle music]

[water slurping]

- [sighs] How much longer?

- Uh, that was mile marker 43 back there,

so like 15-ish.

- Minutes?

- No, seconds.

[Buzz scoffs]

- So what you reading there, Larissa?

- "Dracula".

- "Dracula" like the movie?

- It was a novel first.

Bram Stoker.

It's a classic.

- Oh, oh, that's cool.

Um, uh, what do you think?

- It's great.

- Uh, could never read in the car.

It makes me sick.

- Reading in general makes you sick.

[Cassiopeia laughs]

- What is your fucking problem?

- [Buzz] What?

Come on, babe. - You're always teasing me.

- Well, I'm so sorry.

- [Starr] Shh.

[Buzz laughs]

- I got just the thing for this, dude.

Dude, the spliff.

- Good. - Light it up, man.

- Good thinking.

- There we go.

- All right. - All right.

- Yeah, finally let's get this shit started.

Get high. - Let's get fucking

wasted motherfuckers.

- [Buzz] Fucking A.

- Fucking A right.

There you go.

- [Buzz] Thank you, sir.

- De nada.

[Buzz exhales]

[Buzz coughs]

- It's good shit, it's good shit.

- [groans] Hurry up!

Fuck.

- There you go, babe.

- Yeah, we're gonna get stoned before we hike though.

- Yeah, a little buzzy buzz for the road never hurt anybody.

- It's the only way I can enjoy nature to the fullest.

[Cassiopeia coughing]

- [Yuri] Shit.

[Buzz laughing]

Oh, babe, are you okay?

- [coughs] Yeah, I'm good.

- Oh, fuck. - Yeah, thanks.

Larissa.

- [Larissa] No, thanks.

- [Starr] Oh, come on, loosen up a little bit.

- [Larissa] No, thank you.

- Larissa, really it's not that strong.

You're fine.

- [Larissa] I don't want to.

- Uh, yeah, that's, that's fine.

Yeah, that's cool.

Here.

- Gracias. - Yeah.

I don't usually smoke that much anyway.

Not since high school.

- [Starr] Oh, rude much.

- [Buzz] Yee-haw.

[Cassiopeia laughs] [ominous music]

[radio static hissing]

- [Newscaster] There have been additional updates

regarding the meteorite 247 collision

that occurred in the early hours of the morning.

It is being said to have been

the largest space rock to hit the Earth in modern record.

When a meteorite unknowingly

entered into the Earth's atmosphere

breaking apart somewhere above the Cascade Mountain range.

The impact registered nearly a 3.0 on the Richter scale.

State authorities today give thanks

that it hadn't fallen through a large populated area.

An expedition team headed by top geologists

from the University of Washington

will be dispatched to recover the fallen star

as early as next week.

Pinpointing the exact location of the crash site

may prove to be harder than it would be otherwise

if the meteorite hadn't fallen

into such a dense wooded.

[radio static hissing]

♪ PDX, from the concrete I rose ♪

- Ooh, Buzz, let me get one.

- All right.

- Thank you. - Uh- huh.

- Hot girl, start early like a badass.

- [Cassiopeia] Yeah, you know vacation right.

- All right, everybody just about there.

- [Starr] Ah, finally.

- What do you folks say to one more spliffy iffy

to christen the journey?

- I say yes.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- I might be asleep by the time

we get halfway up the mountain.

- Oh. - Oh, well,

I got just the perfect pick me up for that.

- [Yuri] What do you got, boy?

- This is what I got.

- Hey. - Oh, fuck.

- Shit, babe, you had a eight ball this entire time.

- [Buzz] Hey, baby, I'm a man of many mysteries. [laughs]

- [Starr] Yes.

- [Yuri] Dude, we're fucking sprinting up the mountain now.

- [Buzz] Oh, you bet your fucking ass. [laughs]

- [Starr] Whoo!

♪ I will rise like ascension

♪ From a different dimension

♪ And I know that I might your newest obsession ♪

♪ Movie, I'm "Inception"

♪ I'm trying to make a connection ♪

♪ But I don't want your affection ♪

♪ Get up out of my section

♪ Ice cold, mind gone

♪ I found my suppression

♪ Neck froze, wrist froze

♪ Black on black down to my toes ♪

♪ North west, PDX

♪ From the concrete I rose

♪ Neck froze, wrist froze

♪ Black on black down to my toes ♪

♪ North west, PDX

♪ From the concrete I rose

♪ I'll I know is I don't know

♪ But I'm gonna make it though

♪ Yeah, I'm trying to flow and grow ♪

♪ And go where no one's gone before ♪

♪ I can't ignore the fact that I've been rocked to my core ♪

♪ I'm not sure how much more damage can I endure ♪

♪ Is this the end or the beginning ♪

♪ Or am I just digging my own grave ♪

♪ Forgive me for not waiting to be saved ♪

♪ 'Cause my path has been paved ♪

♪ I don't wanna

♪ But I know I gotta change

♪ Swerving lanes like I'm Dane

♪ Got that range

♪ Pull up with a dime

♪ But this ain't a game

♪ Heart weighing heavy

♪ Is greed or envy

♪ Vixens trying to tempt me, yeah ♪

♪ If I die my demons will avenge ♪

♪ We keep it edgy

♪ I'm gonna sacrifice like neegie ♪

♪ I'm gonna love you if you let me ♪

♪ Roll my trees up then I'm ready ♪

♪ Y'all too petty

♪ I get plenty

♪ Yeah, I'm deadly with it

♪ Light it up legit

♪ Would he hit it

♪ If you ain't with it

♪ You won't ever get it

♪ From my neck froze, wrist froze ♪

♪ Black on black down to my toes ♪

♪ Yeah, catch me headed downtown ♪

♪ I see my spice girls

♪ They ain't nice girls

♪ I mean they told me they met somebody else ♪

♪ Become a mess

♪ Damn, gotta get this off my chest ♪

♪ I only say 'em once

♪ You better listen like the press, yeah ♪

♪ Neck froze, wrist froze

♪ Black on black down to my toes ♪

♪ North west, PDX

♪ From the concrete I rose

♪ Neck froze, wrist froze

♪ Black on black down to my toes ♪

♪ North west, PDX

♪ From the concrete I rose

♪ Rose city, drip city, my city, your city ♪

There's just so many of 'em, I don't know what to get.

Whoo. - Ugh.

Oh, I need to wake up.

- [Buzz] [laughs] Bullshit.

You sure you don't want some?

- Oh, yeah.

- [laughs] Nah, I'm, I'm good.

Thank you.

- [Buzz] Suit yourself.

- Wait, have you ever done a line?

- Um, not since I, uh, party with Patrick Bateman, no.

- Who?

- It was a joke.

- Oh, "American Psycho", great movie.

- The book was better.

- All right, y'all, let's head out.

We can take shifts carrying the cooler.

And Buzz, since you're on that superhuman shit

you can take the first shift.

- No fucking sweat.

- Wait, how far is it?

- [Yuri] Uh, like a mile and a quarter.

- Well, my workout app says that I walk 1.3 miles an hour,

so like 15 minutes-ish.

- That's on a flat surface.

We'll be hiking up an incline.

- But my phone says I walk four miles an hour.

- Yeah, but not up hill.

The altitude and the incline

will reduce that by at least half

and that's not even factoring

in all the dope you just smoked.

- [Yuri] Say like 30 maybe 40 minutes.

- OMG.

I just wanna party.

- Relax, baby.

Look, why don't you have a beer.

It'll make you feel better.

- Okay.

Thank you.

- Let's get a fucking move on guys.

Come on, let's go.

[Starr laughing]

[ominous music]

[river babbling]

- Hey.

Ow.

Ow!

[gentle alternative music]

♪ Sweet smile, sounds

♪ Summer comin' 'round

♪ A deep breath and get your feet out of the ground ♪

♪ When you leave you'll move enough to make a sound ♪

♪ That I hear every time

♪ That I think of your smile

♪ And those bright eyes

♪ And brown hair

♪ Remind me of the leaves that fall in fall ♪

♪ We met

Oh, shit!

♪ Georgia, I can't take it anymore ♪

♪ You've been changing, fading

♪ Since snow fell down in mid December ♪

♪ You've been more up and down than the weather here ♪

♪ And Georgia, I can't take it anymore ♪

♪ You've been changing, fading

♪ Georgia, I can't take it anymore ♪

♪ Georgia, you know I can't

♪ Georgia, I can't take it

♪ Oh, I can't

♪ Georgia, you know I can't

♪ Georgia, I can't take it

♪ You've been up and down like the weather ♪

♪ Than the weather here

[birds chirping] [river babbling]

- [Buzz] Look at that shit.

- You know what's with you and that stick?

- [Buzz] What you don't know?

- Know what?

- Oh, shit, dude, you haven't told her.

- No.

- Seriously, you always get sympathy with that story.

[brooding music]

- Whoa, what story?

- Yuri almost died.

- [Cassiopeia] What?

- And that Gandalf cane of his saved his life.

- What?

What happened?

- So, uh, a few years ago I, um,

I joined this hiking club,

and we went on trips all over.

Mostly around the Cascades in Oregon and Washington.

And, uh, one day about the, uh, the middle of the spring

we decided to go and hike up Mount Rainier.

Now probably not the best time weather wise

to go summiting a mountain over 10,000 feet.

But we were going for it.

And um, about halfway through the day

this huge storm cloud just rolls in

over the entire side of the mountain we're on.

And it looked like that video game "Silent Hill".

I mean I shit you not you could not see

more than a foot in front of your face.

And I started hearing this buzzing sound

coming from the side of my head,

so I had thought it was a bee.

So I took my hat off and start swatting

at what I assumed was a bee.

But that I realized that's not what it was at all.

It was the metal grommet in my hat

reacting to the static electricity in the storm cloud.

Betsy, one of the other hikers with us,

she had these metal ski poles,

they started buzzing as well.

And it was at that time we realized

we had to get the hell out of there.

- Dude, you got struck by lightning.

- No, no, I just, I got lost.

We all started hustling

to get down and out of that mountain,

and I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going.

I mean I couldn't fucking see anything.

And um, yeah, after a while I realized

I was just deep in the forest by myself

way off the trail.

And the sun was going down, I was alone.

- Jesus.

That's, uh.

- Yeah, I really started to freak,

which is, um, not what you're supposed to do.

Started leaving behind pieces of my gear as a marker

that I had been there or something.

It was dumb, but I mean I was getting desperate.

Something like 50 hours I had been just wandering

in the complete opposite direction of the campsite.

And, uh, when the search helicopter found me

they said, "The only reason they did

was because of this stick right here."

I was waving my t-shirt around on it.

Only reason they found me,

so now I never leave home without it.

- Such a harrowing tale.

[Starr and Buzz laughing]

- Yeah, you're like the guy who cut his arm off.

- Uh, Aron Ralston.

- Oh, for real, now that you know the damn story

he's gonna compare it to everything.

Last year he had food poisoning,

and I'm telling you right now

he would not shut the fuck up

about his tenacious will to survive.

[Starr and Buzz laughing]

- Yeah, Yuri, I have reservations

about you being the one leading us.

[Buzz laughing]

- [Yuri] I got this, dude.

- Ah, baby, I can't believe you haven't told me that story.

- Yeah, well, according to these assholes

I talk about it too much so.

Yeah, fuck you too, guys.

All right, y'all ready to head out or what?

- Yes!

[birds chirping]

[group chattering]

[Buzz groans]

[Starr groaning]

[cooler thuds]

[Buzz exhales]

- So I swear I'm not being a dick, bro,

but are you sure you know where we're going?

It's been about an hour now.

- [chuckles] We're on the trail.

We're fine.

- No kidding.

I thought this was Park Avenue.

- We're almost there, okay?

Have a beer it'll make you feel better.

[Starr groans]

- Yeah, I'd like some fucking Gray Paw.

[Starr laughs]

[group chattering]

- [Starr] It's funny.

- [Cassiopeia] No, it's not funny.

- Yes, it is, it's hilarious. - Fuck you, buddy.

[Starr laughs]

- Oh! - What the fuck?

- [Cassiopeia] Holy shit.

- Greetings fellow hikers.

- Uh, fuck.

Hey.

- Uh, sorry if we spooked ya.

We just heard some talking and came down

to ask if that was your campsite up there.

- Campsite?

- No.

- No, no.

- Yeah, somebody vandalized it or something.

Uh, we waiting around for the owners to come back

but they never showed up.

- You didn't happen to pass you on your way up did ya?

- Um, nah, we didn't see anybody.

- Okay, well, I think we better, uh, get going.

- [Yuri] Y'all said it was just up, uh, up that way, right?

- Yeah.

- Can y'all show me? - Yeah, sure.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Maybe splitting off the trail isn't the smartest idea.

- Y'all stay here, I'll be right back.

[Buzz blows a raspberry]

- Uh, I'll, I'll go with you.

- All right. - Yeah.

- Be sure to drop some breadcrumbs

so you don't lose your way.

- [Yuri] All right, where's this at?

- It's just over here, uh.

Uh, uh, the campsite's just up around here.

- Oh, wow.

- I know right?

Maybe it's abandoned.

A homeless camp or something. - Jesus.

And it looks torn apart.

The critters must have had a field day.

I just hope whoever this belongs to is all right.

- Could it have been a bear attack?

- Nah, there aren't really any bears out here.

- Plus there isn't any blood or anything.

I mean the entire place looks pretty clean.

I don't think anyone was hurt.

- Yeah, I'm more worried someone got lost.

- What's good?

- Ah, just an abandoned campsite.

- Yeah.

- Well, hey, we're staying at cabin just up the trail head.

We'll keep our eyes out for any hikers.

- Okay, well, we better get going

before it gets too late.

Uh, it was really nice meeting y'all.

[Cassiopeia laughs]

- You too. - You too.

- [Hiker] Good luck.

Have fun.

- Thanks.

You too. - All right, y'all ready?

- I've been ready.

I need to get out of these shoes

and make a drink like yesterday.

- Fucking finally. - I hear that.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Yeah.

- [Ryan] A dating app or?

- [Hiker] Oh, yeah, you're like

my fifth person this week so.

- Oh, wow.

I've never done it before so, uh.

- Don't worry it's not- - I hope I'm a good one.

- It's fine. - Oh.

- [Hiker] You're good, you're fine, don't worry, but-

- This- - We won't be making out

later, so- - But-

- [Hiker] I wanna tell you that now.

- [Ryan] But, well, I mean I've never kissed

a girl before so.

- [Hiker] Hey, look, I, I have to go use the restroom,

so, I'll, I'll be back.

Uh, can you hold this cellphone pack?

- It's so beautiful out here.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Hey, uh, hold up, hon.

I gotta take a quick wee-wee.

Be right back my love.

- All right, I'll be here.

Waiting.

- Ah, oh, I gotta pee.

Oh, oh, pee pee time.

Oh, oh, oh.

[groaning] Sweet baby.

Oh, yeah, sweet baby. [sighs]

[Ryan groaning]

[knife slashes] [Ryan groaning]

[blood splattering]

Oh, no!

[Ryan screaming]

Oh, no!

[birds chirping]

- Ryan?

Ryan!

Ryan!

[hiker gasps]

[hiker screaming] [fast tempo suspenseful music]

[dramatic music] [birds chirping]

- Oh.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Le Ritz.

- Fuck me!

- All right. - Oh, dude.

Yes!

Yes!

Oh, my God, you guys, yes!

Fucking party!

- Wow.

You guys.

- You like it?

- This place is incredible.

- What do you think Larissa?

- It's perfect.

It's nice and quiet.

- [laughs] Not for long.

- I'll show everybody's, uh, rooming arrangements.

- [Starr] No.

- [Yuri] Oh, yeah, the rooms.

Yes. - I might actually be jealous.

- Let's get that locked down.

Starr and Buzz can have this room down here.

They, uh, get loud, so I'm not dealing with that shit.

All right, Larissa, this will be your room here.

It's the master, so you can have your own privacy

if you need it.

- Thanks, bro.

- Yeah, you like it?

- Yeah, it's perfect.

- [Yuri] Awesome.

- Whoa, you get your own bathroom and everything.

Lucky.

- Yeah, I might actually finish this book.

- All right, we're gonna head back down.

You let us know if you need anything, okay?

[door clicks]

All right, and this is your room, my room, our room.

It's the room so.

- Sounds good.

- [Yuri] Yeah, um, I mean like I totally can,

uh, sleep on the couch if it's weird.

- Oh, no, it's okay.

- I mean I just don't want you to think I might you know.

[Cassiopeia laughs]

- Just, just stop talking.

- That works, uh-huh, yeah.

[Cassiopeia laughs]

[Cassiopeia sighs]

- I love this.

It's, it's beautiful.

- Yeah. - Really.

[door thuds]

- Whoa!

Oh, come on, you guys can fuck any old time.

Get your asses downstairs and party with me.

♪ Can't get log out 'cause I'm logged in ♪

♪ Taking my own route, bitch get ♪

- Party huh?

♪ My name out your mouth

- All right, yeah.

- Hey.

[birds chirping]

- Ugh.

[bell rings]

What kind of swanky ass cabin

doesn't have a fucking hot tub?

Like serious where am I supposed to relax with my drink?

- There's a fire pit.

- Ugh, what are we Mormon?

We're gonna roast marshmallows?

Sing songs?

- I mean we could play some drinking games.

- Yeah.

- Strip UNO.

You know you love some strip UNO.

- You're right.

I do love strip UNO.

- See.

Now go have a beer, baby.

It'll make you feel better.

- Fucking A right.

Let's get trashed.

Here.

Whoo!

- God I love that girl. [laughs]

- [Starr] Where is the cranberry juice?

- Fuck.

Oh, shit the cranberry juice.

Hey, man, good call on coming out here.

Man, really, this was a fucking great idea.

- Yeah, man, I like this place.

It's quiet, peaceful.

Like the whole world just ceases to exist.

- Um, I don't know, I was thinking more along the lines

of the fact that it's a party house.

You know we got girls.

We got drinking games.

And we got strip UNO.

Ooh, man, my dick cannot take a whole weekend of this

let me fucking tell you right now. [chuckles]

- Dude, you keep talking about strip UNO

like it's a real thing.

Like I get the gist, but why?

- Starr's no good at card games, man, what can I tell ya.

- [Starr] Oh, dammit!

- Hey, man, you need another brewski?

- Nah, dude, I'm good.

I'm gonna go gather firewood for the pit.

- Good call, amigo.

In the meantime I'm gonna prep up the girls

for some partying action.

- [Yuri] Have fun.

- Hey, who wants some shots?

- Hello?

[ominous pulsating tone]

[Yuri sighs]

Hello?

- [Cassiopeia] Larissa, come join us.

- Yeah, girl, it's officially booze 30.

- Yeah.

- I don't know maybe later.

- Oh, come on, don't be such a Debbie Downer.

Get your booty out here and have a fucking drink.

- Yeah. - No, thank you.

- Is she serious right?

Are you serious right now?

- Hey, Larissa, I, hey,

I make a pretty killer gin and tonic.

- Nope.

No, thank you.

- Oh, fucking whatever, dude.

[Cassiopeia sighs]

Let's fucking drink, bitches!

[birds chirping] [ominous music]

- Hey, is someone there?

[ominous pulsating tone]

Hey, is someone there?

[ominous pulsating tone]

[slow tempo upbeat music]

- Like serious she might actually have some friends

if she wasn't such a Debbie Downer.

- [Cassiopeia] She obviously doesn't get out

of the house much.

Yeah, she seems pretty insecure too.

- Well, shit I would be too

if I had the fashion sense of Howdy Doody.

Like seriously overalls?

I mean just because it's in the bin

doesn't mean you need to buy it.

- Um, just, just be nice, okay?

Please just attempt to look

like you're trying to include her for Yuri's sake.

- Okay, I've just never seen somebody

in more need of getting laid, except maybe for you.

- Hey, y'all still wanna make me that drink?

- Oh, shit, Larissa has joined the club.

- Yeah, you want, you want one shot or two?

- Two, I'm not an invalid.

- Here you go.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

- [Cassiopeia] Whoa, damn, Larissa.

- [Buzz] Yeah.

[Starr laughing]

[wood thuds]

What the fuck was that?

- It sounded like it came from outside.

[suspenseful music] [Cassiopeia and Starr scream]

Fuck, ow!

- Got ya.

[Cassiopeia sighs]

- What a cunt. - Yeah.

- Oh, come on, a little levity never hurt anybody.

[laughs] Oh, shit, Larissa's drinking.

What the fuck?

- Yo, she's a boss.

- [laughs] Oh, fuck, looks like I got some catching up

to do, so, uh, which one of y'all's gonna pour me a drink?

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Nah, respect

♪ I won't game

♪ Won't settle for less pain

♪ 'Til they know my name like Cobain ♪

♪ Got gas like propane

♪ On the fast track while you in the slow lane ♪

♪ Can't look back snow white like cocaine ♪

♪ I need to check my brain before I blow it up ♪

♪ Y'all sound the same

♪ It's played out

♪ Yeah, I smoke until I'm passed out ♪

♪ Stay the same there's no doubt ♪

♪ Can't log out 'cause I'm logged in ♪

♪ Taking my own route

♪ Bitch, get your own clout

♪ And keep my name out your mouth ♪

♪ You can't reach me in the clouds ♪

♪ Glowing loud

♪ I'm already pretty motherfucker ♪

♪ Feel like Heavy D start dripping ♪

♪ Roll sticky if you hit a mickey ♪

♪ For a quick hit, it's no biggie ♪

♪ One of you in every city

♪ So spark it up if you're fucking with me ♪

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Yeah, I'm guilty of stacking commas ♪

♪ And putting my faith in karma ♪

♪ All got dreams but too busy with drama ♪

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Yeah, I drew a line and crossed it ♪

♪ I'm exhausted

♪ My heart's dead, I lost it

♪ Don't care what it costed

♪ 'Cause I'm in control and I caused it ♪

♪ Big boss shit

♪ Got your girl dripping like a faucet ♪

♪ Might go ape shit

♪ Take a hit and don't say shit ♪

♪ Just embrace it

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ All got dreams but too busy with drama ♪

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Yeah, I drew a line and crossed it ♪

♪ I'm exhausted

♪ My heart's dead, I lost it

♪ Don't care what it costed

♪ 'Cause I'm in control

♪ And I caused it

♪ All got dreams but too busy with drama ♪

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Dancing to Nirvana

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

♪ Hit the blunt, it hits back

♪ That's blunt force trauma

♪ Girl, I know you wanna

- Hello.

Hello, hello.

[Neil grunting]

- Holy shit, Martha.

If I'd know it was gonna get better and better

I woulda asked you to be my girl a long time ago.

- Wow, aren't you a sweet talker, Neil.

- What?

It's the truth.

- Uh-huh.

- Oh, come on now, why would I lie?

- So was it also the truth

when you said the same thing to me?

- Well, of course it was, baby.

You know you both are very special to me.

- Ah, really special.

Did you hear that?

Very special.

- Not as special as Britney?

- Britney?

- Britney Adelman.

You know of the Night Owl two weeks ago.

- What, now what would I want with that skag?

- You said, "She had a nice ass."

- I was trying to say something positive

'cause she your friend.

Oh, come on, I got prime rib at home

why would I go out for a hamburger?

- I don't understand what you're saying.

- Yeah, it's like every time we bring up another chick

you start talking about meat.

Like steak and hamburger, I don't get it.

- I like hamburger.

- You like hamburger.

- It's turn a phrase.

- A what?

- Turn a phrase.

- How the fuck does one turn a phrase?

- Yeah, are you sure?

I think it might be an idiom.

- Idiom, turn a phrase same difference.

- What the hell was that?

- [Neil] I didn't hear anything.

- Go check.

- What me?

- No, your mother too.

Yes, you.

- Not a chance.

There's nothing out there.

- Neil, check.

- Come on, okay, you go.

- Some man you are.

If I get mauled to death because of your cold feet.

[ominous music]

- Cold feet is definitely an idiom.

- Amber.

- Amber.

[suspenseful music]

- Amber.

[vampire screeching]

[Martha screaming]

- It's beautiful isn't it?

- [Yuri and Star] Yeah.

- That's a whole lot of me up there.

- Yeah, with all the light pollution

it's like you never really get to appreciate it you know?

- Totally.

You see that star right there?

- [Yuri] Yeah.

- Uh, sure.

[Buzz coughs]

- That's where my name comes from.

Cassiopeia.

- That's so hot.

[Cassiopeia laughs]

- You're named after a star?

- A constellation.

Cassiopeia the constellation lives in the northern sky

and is named for the Greek goddess

who was killed for being too beautiful.

- Wow. - Yeah, tough break.

- Yeah, must be real rough.

I think I'm gonna go inside.

- Oh, come, come on stay, stay for a while.

- Yeah. - No, thank you.

- Ah, come on, Larissa, stay.

It's only, it's only 10 o'clock.

- You know I'm just so insecure,

and that's why I don't have any friends.

- Um, does anybody know what the fuck that was about?

- Uh, I'm, I'm not sure.

- Yeah, I think she's just pretty drunk.

- Yeah, bro, Larissa went hard.

I think that's the first time I've ever seen her drunk.

- [scoffs] Shit, me too.

Glad she had a good time though.

- Yeah. - You know she doesn't

really do this very often.

Fuck, I don't think she ever has.

[door clicks]

[ominous music]

[water splashing]

[ominous pulsating tone]

[insects chirping]

[water splashing]

- Hmm, okay.

Never have I ever had a threesome

with, with two men.

[Cassiopeia laughing]

- Oh.

Goddamn, guys.

- What can I say, senior year was ridiculous.

- Sounds like it.

- Yeah, and that time it wasn't even with each other.

[Buzz laughing]

- Okay, stories, stories.

Oh, my gosh.

Okay, Yuri, it's your turn.

- All right, never have I,

[vampire screeching] [ominous music]

there it is again.

- What?

- Fucking.

Heard it earlier too.

[ominous pulsating tone]

[vampire screeching]

[ominous pulsating tone]

[insects chirping]

[mist hissing]

[water splashing]

[water splashing]

[ominous pulsating tone]

[ominous pulsating tone]

[insects chirping]

- I still think this shit is wack.

I mean fruit wine?

Whoever heard of fruit wine?

- It's good for you.

Goes down real easy, just like Starr.

[Starr laughs]

[Buzz groans]

[ominous music]

[Cassiopeia groans]

[insects chirping]

- Hello?

Is someone there?

[Larissa gasps]

[vampire screeching]

- [Starr] Yo, what's up?

- Do you all hear that?

- Hear what?

- Right over there.

- But I don't see anything.

- Stop freaking out the girls, bro.

- Yeah.

- Who's freaked out?

- I'm just saying you know it's the fucking woods, right?

You hear all kinds of noises in the woods.

Don't worry about it.

- Yeah, probably, but, um, I'm gonna get, get another drink.

Anybody need anything?

- [Starr] I'll take one.

- I'm gonna drain the little buddy.

- Ooh, I wanna help.

Ah.

So?

- So?

- Brown chicken brown cow.

- I think so.

- Yes.

Can't wait to hear all about it.

[ominous music]

[Yuri coughs]

[Yuri sighs]

- Hey, Larissa.

[knuckles tapping]

Larissa?

[door clicks]

Larissa?

Where the fuck did she go?

[door clicks]

Fuck.

[door bangs]

[Cassiopeia laughing]

Guys, she's gone.

She's fucking.

- What?

Let's see.

- Yo, what do you mean she's gone?

- Like she's gone gone.

- Like she's throwing up.

- No, like she's not in her fucking room.

- She's probably just taking a dump, man.

- No, goddamn it, Buzz, no.

She's, she's not in the fucking house.

- Calm down.

I'm sure she's all right, I'm sure she's all right.

- Well, did you check out front?

- No, you don't understand,

she doesn't leave the fucking house.

- She'll be back.

- Just I'm a little paranoid about these things, okay?

- Mm-hmm.

Rightfully so.

- You know maybe she stepped outside to get some fresh air.

I mean she did drink a lot.

- Oh, fuck.

Who ate all the Pop-Tarts?

- Fucking idiot.

I'm gonna go check for her outside, okay?

- Do you want me to come with you?

- No, you all stay here.

I'll be right back.

[door clicks]

[door bangs]

[insects chirping]

Larissa?

Larissa?

Larissa?

Larissa?

Fuck.

[teeth crunching]

Larissa?

[vampire screeching]

[Buzz sighs]

- [sighs] I really hope she's okay.

- She's fine.

Can't tell you how many times I've woken up

after blacking out in the grass.

A little fresh air will make her feel better.

- Yeah, yeah, she's fine.

She'll be fine.

- Yeah.

[suspenseful music]

- Larissa?

[ominous pulsating tone]

[insects chirping]

[ominous pulsating tone]

[insects chirping] [ominous music]

[river babbling]

Oh, shit.

[ominous pulsating tone]

[brooding music]

[door bangs]

- Did you find her?

- No, I.

- What's wrong, bro?

- I found her- - Fuck.

- [Yuri] Her robe.

- [laughs] Hell, yeah, baby.

She's got the right idea.

Let's go streaking y'all.

- No, there's blood on it.

There's blood.

- [scoffs] Yeah, well, someone's on the rag.

[vampire screeching]

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

[suspenseful music]

- What the fuck was that?

[vampire grunting]

[vampire grunting]

Larissa?

Larissa, is this a fucking joke?

- [Cassiopeia] What the fuck?

- [Yuri] What happened here?

- Some, someone went through my stuff.

- Uh, maybe it was Larissa.

- No, something's seriously fucked here guys.

- You really gotta calm down, man.

- Calm down?

Something happened to my sister you fucking moron.

[door bangs]

- I think someone's in the house.

- [Buzz] What?

- Someone went through my stuff.

Larissa's gone.

I think someone's in the house.

- That abandoned tent, I think people squat around here.

[door clicks]

[Buzz burps]

She was just fucking here.

[Buzz groaning]

- Hey, guys, don't you think

we're overacting just a little bit?

There's nothing fucking here, man. [chuckles]

[door bangs] [suspenseful music]

[Cassiopeia gasps]

Buzz kill.

[vampire screeching]

[knife thuds]

[Cassiopeia and Starr screaming]

- Buzzy!

- Come on, go, go!

[Starr screaming]

- Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Hello.

Fuck, hello, hello.

[Starr yells]

Shit.

Fuck, this shit's old.

[ominous music]

[teeth crunching]

[crying] Buzz.

[Starr crying]

[insects chirping]

- What the fuck?

What the fuck? - We gotta, we gotta go.

We gotta get help.

- Wait, where's Starr?

- I thought she was right behind us.

- Come on, Starr.

Come on.

- Cassie, come we gotta go.

- Hold on.

[teeth crunching]

[ominous electronic music]

- Fuck.

[teeth crunching]

- Stay on the trail, stay on the trail.

What?

- Do you, do you hear that?

- What is it?

This is not good.

[Starr screaming]

[Starr grunting]

[fist thuds] [Starr grunts]

- Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.

Oh, no!

[Starr screams]

[vampire screeching]

Oh, my bestest Buzzy.

[ship whirring]

- Oh, my God.

What in the world?

- No, not of this world.

- Do you, is that?

- That's a flying saucer.

- No fucking way.

- Extraterrestrial.

- You mean like aliens?

Like some fucking "X-Files" shit,

like is that what you're saying?

[Cassiopeia sighs]

Holy shit.

- Fuck.

- Larissa.

Larissa! - No, no, no, no, Yuri, Yuri.

You saw what happened to Buzz.

Larissa is not in there.

[slow tempo suspenseful music]

- Oh, fuck!

[fast tempo suspenseful music]

[vampire grunting] [Starr screaming]

[flesh tears]

[Starr gurgling]

[Starr gurgling]

[ship whirring]

- Cassie, what are you doing?

Cassie, what the fuck are you doing?

Cassie.

Hey.

Fuck. [tense ominous music]

[vampire screeching]

Cassie, Cassie, baby, come on, wake up.

Cassie.

Hey, hey.

- Yuri.

Oh, oh, my God, oh, my God.

- Here.

- Please, Yuri, let's just go.

- We'll never make it.

If that thing doesn't get us then the elements will.

- What are we gonna do?

- [sighs] We're gonna have to fight it ourselves.

- How the hell do you plan to stop a monster like that?

- I don't know.

But I've been in worse situations before.

Never ever forget your primal instinct,

your will to survive.

This fucker messed with the wrong earth.

[fast tempo suspenseful music]

Starr.

Starr.

Starr.

[vampire whooshes]

[vampire screeching]

[vampire screeching]

[vampire screeching]

Motherfucker.

[vampire screeching]

You killed my sister, you fuck!

[vampire screeching] [ax whooshes]

Fucking asshole.

Welcome to Earth.

We hunt for fucking sport.

[Yuri grunts] [ax whooshes]

Kill for the fuck of it.

You fucked with the wrong alpha species.

[ax thuds] [vampire groaning]

Fucking kill you.

[Yuri grunting]

[vampire screeching]

[vampire screeching] [ominous music]

[Yuri groaning]

[flesh tearing]

[stick thuds] [Cassiopeia grunts]

[body thuds]

[flesh tearing]

[Cassiopeia grunts]

[knife thuds] [vampire screaming]

[Cassiopeia grunts]

[body thuds]

[Cassiopeia whimpering]

- Oh, my God, Yuri.

- Just a little late.

- I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

So sorry. [crying]

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

[door clicks]

[footsteps tapping]

[footsteps tapping]

[gentle music]

[birds chirping]

[stick thuds]

[water splashing]

[water splashing]

[ominous pulsating tone]

[suspenseful music]

[vampire grunting]

[ominous music]

[fast tempo ominous music]

[static hissing]