Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,568
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,838
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:11,778
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,175
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:17,718
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:21,224
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:22,921
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,190
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:30,158
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,907
"Hey, guys, home with groceries.
11
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,683
Could use a hand unloading."
12
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,109
And send.
13
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,351
Now I wait for them to come out
to help their dear old mom.
14
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,754
- Do it yourself!
15
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,256
Hi, sad lady.
16
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,958
Junior, our dinner talk
stays inside.
17
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,974
Hi, normal lady.
18
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,543
What are you guys doing?
It's Sunday.
19
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,102
I thought husbands had
to watch football all day
20
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,541
or they get cancer.
21
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,139
Today's our family fun day.
22
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:18,008
That's right, a whole day
dedicated to family and fun,
23
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,308
ending in the bedroom
with what I hope will be
24
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,020
some back-end participation.
25
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,022
- Hmm?
- Mm-mm.
26
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,523
I am so tired of this family
27
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,761
just sitting around
and doing nothing.
28
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,386
The Browns are outside
having fun
29
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:35,901
while we're in here
loafing around
30
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,603
like a bunch of stupid potatoes.
31
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:41,171
Mom, I've been anonymously
cyberbullied for a decade.
32
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,301
"Stupid potato" doesn't even
leave a mark.
33
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,943
We need to spend some quality
time together like the Browns.
34
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,277
So we're doing
a family fun day.
35
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,553
Oh, family-free fun day
sounds great.
36
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,552
No, family fun day.
37
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,817
Yeah, family-free fun day.
38
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:58,448
No, Peter.
Family. Fun. Day.
39
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:00,790
Yeah, I'm already at The Clam.
40
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,358
Have fun.
41
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,556
All right, nothing's more fun
than a family card game.
42
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,300
Now, the game is euchre.
43
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:15,701
"Begin by separating the nines,
tens, face cards and aces
44
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:16,999
"from the rest of the deck.
45
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,940
"The goal is to win at least
three 'tricks.'
46
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,280
"Now, if the side that fixed
the trump fails
47
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,182
"to get three tricks,
it is said to be 'euchred.'
48
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,549
"The highest trump is the jack
of the trump suit,
49
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,482
"called the 'right bower.'
50
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,691
"Partnership-making trump wins
three or four tricks
51
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,057
"and earns one point.
52
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,692
"Lone hand wins
three or four tricks,
53
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,931
"also earns one point.
54
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:43,057
"However, a lone hand wins
five tricks,
55
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,727
"that's worth four points.
56
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:49,201
Many euchre games are scored
by rubber points, as in whist."
57
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,209
Ooh, ooh. "The first side
to win two games
58
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,936
- wins the rubber."
59
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,638
"The dealer has the right
to exchange
60
00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,084
any turned-up card..."
61
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,046
Oh, my God, it's the same.
62
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,084
"If the face-up card
is a jack,
63
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,623
- it's considered bad luck
for..."
64
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,258
"After two rounds, if no
trump suit has been declared
65
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,562
"and the 'stick-the-dealer' rule
is not in effect,
66
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,264
then the cards are collected
and reshuffled."
67
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,830
Family Guy is brought to you
by contract bridge.
68
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,426
Way simpler than euchre.
69
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,227
You see, in contract bridge,
each player is dealt 13 cards
70
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,174
from a standard 52-card deck.
71
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,796
A trick starts
when a player leads,
72
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,444
i.e. plays the first card.
73
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:29,106
The leader to the first trick
is determined by the auction.
74
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,275
So, what do you think, gang?
75
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,777
I thought it could be
a fun family activity
76
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,716
if we had a make-your-own-pizza
night.
77
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,294
Or we could order Domino's.
78
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,593
No, come on, this'll be fun.
79
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,255
Everyone gets their own crust,
80
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:47,133
and you can choose from any
of the items I put out, huh?
81
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,064
It could be olives,
it could be peppers.
82
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,601
And for the risk takers, I even
put out some pineapple.
83
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,668
You can put anything you want
on your pizza.
84
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,438
Yeah, I'm putting a Domino's
pizza on my pizza.
85
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,578
Domino's-- we're both terrible
86
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,607
and better than your pizza.
87
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,316
Ah, this is nice, huh?
88
00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:14,452
Oh, it's so good to get
the whole family
89
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,961
out of the house and see Quahog
from a different perspective.
90
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,758
It's a little tight.
91
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,100
- So, how'd you get into
hot-air ballooning?
92
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,100
They don't do background checks.
93
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:28,939
Oh. What are we
flying over now?
94
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,372
My ex-wife's house.
95
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:34,070
If you have any garbage
or little bags of cat poo,
96
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,284
you can drop them now.
97
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,207
Did you know restraining orders
only go side to side?
98
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,684
They don't go up and down.
99
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,992
Well, there's got to be
one thing we can all
100
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,458
enjoy together as a family.
101
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,333
You know, I think we're
trying too hard.
102
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,228
When I was a kid
we did movie nights,
103
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,503
and it was the Holy Grail
of family fun.
104
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,126
- I'd watch a movie
- I'd watch a porn movie.
105
00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,528
No, a family movie.
106
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,443
I'd watch a MILF porn movie.
107
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,802
Okay, technically
that's accurate, but no porn.
108
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,774
All right, let's fire up
Amazon or Netflix.
109
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,080
No streaming services.
110
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,575
They've ruined how
we watch movies.
111
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,813
I'm talking about
an old-school movie night
112
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,912
where we rent one
from Blockbuster.
113
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,284
Some of my best
childhood memories were when
114
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,150
I went to rent a video
with my dad.
115
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,592
Him and I never really
got along,
116
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,363
but the one place where we did
was Blockbuster.
117
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,492
He'd let me pick out
any snack I wanted
118
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,485
while he grabbed our
fifth-choice movie
119
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,633
because we got there too late
to get the good ones.
120
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,925
But that was part of it,
121
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,270
because it wasn't
about the movie,
122
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,331
it was about the night
you spent together.
123
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,540
I think renting a movie's
a great idea.
124
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,536
Let's do it.
125
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:37,767
So it's settled.
126
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:38,941
The Griffins are making it
127
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,236
a Blockbuster night.
128
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,037
When we get there,
I'll give you 20 bucks to say,
129
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,746
"I've heard Magic Mike is good."
130
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,753
Huh. This used to be
the Blockbuster.
131
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,919
Oh, man, it's gone.
132
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,018
Were you also looking for...
133
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,029
Very tall prostitute, yes.
134
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,361
Is that what you were
going to say?
135
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,099
She used to hang out here--
hands like a palm leaf.
136
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:05,199
She would do sex but also help
with light bulbs and stuff.
137
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,035
I think her name was Phillip.
138
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,541
I see some of my students
in your car.
139
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,544
That's good for me.
140
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,037
I'm sure there's one
still open.
141
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,108
I'll just google it.
142
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,506
Eh, I got to type in my code
'cause I got too fat
143
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,753
- for the facial recognition
to work.
- Brutal.
144
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,686
Oh, good. See?
There is one still open.
145
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,321
Drive north for a quarter
of a mile,
146
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,494
then turn left
onto Highway 20.
147
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,960
Continue straight
for 2,980 miles.
148
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,190
- What?!
- Oh, yeah.
149
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:35,958
The last Blockbuster
in existence
150
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,533
is in Bend, Oregon.
151
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,331
Did I not say that?
Strap in, everybody,
152
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,770
the Griffins are going
on a road trip.
153
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,640
Well, it looks like
the family Griffin
154
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:49,576
is headed off down Holiday Road.
155
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:58,121
And Lindsey Buckingham
has said no.
156
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,815
Well, that's all right.
157
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,857
I reckon, if you're
a man named Lindsey,
158
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,215
you don't get to call
the shots very often.
159
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,503
Peter, this is crazy.
160
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,895
We can't drive 3,000 miles
just to rent a movie.
161
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,268
Would you please turn around?
162
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,566
Lois, the whole family fun thing
was your idea.
163
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,465
Don't get mad at me
'cause I'm following through.
164
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:23,041
But I only have
one pair of underwear.
165
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,653
Oh, that's not a problem.
I got tons of
166
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,978
women's underwear in the back.
167
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,279
:
Why, why do you have that?
168
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:29,182
Tons of it.
169
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,249
Don't we have a say
in all this, Dad?
170
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,318
Yeah, we don't want to drive
all the way to Oregon.
171
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:34,957
Aw, it's gonna be fun, guys.
172
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,562
We're gonna see
the whole country,
173
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,417
like we're in one of those
174
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,461
Bruce Springsteen Jeep commercials.
175
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:42,633
America is made up
of a lot of states.
176
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,969
Some of them really stink,
but some of them don't stink.
177
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,943
- So buy a Jeep.
178
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,801
They flip easy,
but you'll be okay.
179
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,741
Probably be okay.
180
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,711
One of the perks
of a cross-country trip
181
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,547
is stopping for a meal
and meeting the friendly folks
182
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,820
who make up the heart and soul
of our country.
183
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,916
Hello, we're from the Northeast.
184
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,964
Okay, then.
185
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,625
:
We'll do 55 pancakes to go.
186
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,228
:
Trump!
187
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,298
- Trump!
- Trump!
188
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,611
- Trump.
- Trump.
189
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,636
- Trump!
- Trump!
- Trump!
190
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,054
- Trump!
- Trump!
191
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,021
- Trump!
- Trump!
- Trump...
192
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,266
I'm not getting any service.
193
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,771
- Where are we?
- Hey, I don't know.
194
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,543
But we can figure it out
by which radio stations come in.
195
00:08:57,271 --> 00:09:00,841
You're listening
to G-U-N-S AM radio.
196
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,181
All guns all the time.
197
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,107
- Is the caller there?
198
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:07,109
Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more.
199
00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:08,781
Sounds like we're
somewhere between
200
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,119
Washington and Washington.
201
00:09:10,184 --> 00:09:12,554
Well, we got to almost
be there, right?
202
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:13,753
A few more hours.
203
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,020
Trust me, it'll all be worth it
204
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,788
once we walk into that store.
205
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,233
Plus, I'll be able
to finally return
206
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:19,992
this copy of Ladyhawke.
207
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,530
You remembered
to rewind that, right?
208
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,653
You know what I'm thinking,
Peter?
209
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,975
Instead of going to Blockbuster,
we drive right into
210
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,781
the first pond we see.
211
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,790
It'll be a quicker death
than this trip.
212
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,452
Guys, look.
213
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,257
Ah! Oh, my God, it's real.
214
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,200
We made it.
215
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,795
Well, I suppose I should be
the responsible one
216
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,241
and release all the car farts.
217
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,471
You're free now. Go.
218
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,475
I said go!
219
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:28,764
Here it is, guys.
220
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,195
This is where kids would come
every Friday night
221
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:33,125
and see their teacher
wearing jeans.
222
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,000
Dad, who's Christian Slater?
223
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,409
Some actors never made it
out of Blockbuster, Chris.
224
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,783
Sliver. Fun movie.
225
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,948
Yeah, it's Sharon Stone,
so it's nudity
226
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,520
moms will put up with.
227
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:53,317
Hmm, it looks like you have
a late fee for Ladyhawke.
228
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,790
Ah, no problem.
How much is it?
229
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,629
$32,419.
230
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:03,203
Look, uh, we traveled
a really long way to get here,
231
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,603
and I kind of promised
my family a movie night.
232
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,266
Oh. Then the plot
just got interesting.
233
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,165
Where are you on your journey?
234
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,670
About the end of act two?
235
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,538
I read a lot
of screenplay books.
236
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,707
There's got to be some way
we can work this out.
237
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,446
Sorry, but we're pretty strict
about our late fees.
238
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,522
We kind of blew up our
whole company for 'em.
239
00:11:21,582 --> 00:11:23,652
So, no money, no rental.
240
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,654
Uh, $32,000, you say?
241
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:29,059
I don't have that on my person.
242
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:35,798
♪ Hands ♪
243
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:39,866
♪ Touching hands ♪
244
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:42,497
♪ Reaching out ♪
245
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,967
♪ Touching me ♪
246
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,269
♪ Touching you. ♪
247
00:11:47,341 --> 00:11:50,041
Ah, here it comes.
All together now...
248
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,350
- Drive, Lois, drive!
249
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,050
Nothing worse than a case
250
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,651
of Neil Diamond blue balls.
Am I right?
251
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,033
Peter, just pull over.
252
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,068
We can talk to them
and figure this out.
253
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,273
No. A high-speed chase
is preferred
254
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,035
- over small talk
with an employee. Aah!
255
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,135
I hear Magic Mike is good.
256
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,284
Way too late, dude.
257
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:25,852
I can lose these guys.
258
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,323
Chris, pour me out a handful
of those Runts.
259
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,478
How's eating candy
gonna help us?
260
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,994
Runts are the hardest candy
in the world.
261
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,493
They're not for eating,
they're for hucking.
262
00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:41,403
Meg, there's a stack of posters
in the back.
263
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,695
We can throw 'em out the car
and blind 'em.
264
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,367
Just run the posters
by me first.
265
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,902
- Judge Dredd?
- Nah, keep that one.
266
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,067
I want to put it
in the basement.
267
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,235
- Cool World?
- Keep.
268
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,736
- Milk Money?
- Uh, keep.
269
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,114
These are all terrible movies.
270
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,206
Just throw one out.
271
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,946
You know, that movie
still holds up.
272
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,611
It didn't hold up then.
273
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,353
It worked. We lost them.
274
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:09,155
Yes! No one ruins
a Griffin family fun day.
275
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,063
Who wants a turnaround
high five?
276
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,494
Dad, watch the road!
277
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,425
Is everyone okay?
278
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,874
I swallowed my retainer,
279
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,435
but I'll do a little
stool fishing later.
280
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,209
Oh, they're still after us.
We got to run.
281
00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:46,064
Give up. We got you.
It's over.
282
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,959
Well, actually it's not.
283
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:51,098
I think this might be
the "all is lost" moment.
284
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,168
- What?
- You know, it seems over
285
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,473
because there's an
insurmountable obstacle
286
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,369
in their way,
but instead of giving up,
287
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,344
they double down.
288
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,665
- Lois, we got to jump.
- See?
289
00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:02,041
The fall will kill us.
290
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,906
I've seen Rambo
jump from higher.
291
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,551
I think if we jump
it'll cut to that scene.
292
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,783
Peter, that's crazy.
293
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:08,781
Do you trust me?
294
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:09,922
- No!
295
00:14:23,564 --> 00:14:25,604
Oh, what the hell?
296
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,550
- I told you.
- I know.
297
00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:43,045
Peter Griffin, PhD.
298
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,823
Petty, heavy dope.
299
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,918
Wow, she really had that
locked and loaded.
300
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,657
This is crazy.
Those guys are trying to kill us
301
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,085
because of a late movie.
302
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,227
We should just call
the police.
303
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,085
Oh, look who's already
walking back
304
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,963
their "Defund the Police"
stance.
305
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,328
Little different
when it's real life
306
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:59,200
and not trying to impress
Alyssa Milano on Twitter. Hmm?
307
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,039
Oh, this is not good.
It's gonna get dark soon.
308
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,602
- We need a plan.
- Don't worry.
309
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:04,944
We can hike back to the car
310
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,168
and call for help
from the road.
311
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,543
We're gonna get through this.
312
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:08,814
Now, before we head off,
313
00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:10,036
I'm gonna divvy out
our rations.
314
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,180
I'll start with this pack
of Starbursts.
315
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:15,619
There's pink for you,
orange for you, red for me,
316
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,352
yellow for you, pink for you,
red for me...
317
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,219
You keep giving yourself
all the reds.
318
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,188
It's just completely random.
I'm just going in order.
319
00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:24,357
I can't help where
I'm standing.
320
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,434
Okay, where was I?
Yellow for Chris,
321
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,463
- red for me...
- You did it again.
322
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,302
Okay, y-you know,
I tried being fair,
323
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,604
but now I'm just gonna
lick all the reds.
324
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:35,569
Now they have to be mine.
Next food-- Spree.
325
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:39,509
Green for you, orange for you,
red for me!
326
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,023
I think we're lost.
327
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,681
We're gonna die out here.
328
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,390
Guys, we can't give up now.
329
00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:53,185
We can and I shall.
330
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,090
I'm gonna close my eyes
and go to my happy place,
331
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:59,560
being screamed at by children
while playing Fortnite.
332
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,556
No, your mom's a whore.
333
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,229
Wait, guys, look.
334
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,968
I think I see a cabin.
335
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,210
It is a cabin.
We're saved.
336
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,683
You can't say that word, Brayden.
337
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,246
None of you can say that word.
338
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,749
Look, there's a radio.
We can...
339
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,491
Watch Sliver on that VCR.
340
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,990
What? No.
We need to call for help.
341
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,189
We can do both.
342
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,127
I am not gonna give up
on this movie night
343
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,595
like we gave up on our marriage.
344
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:39,470
Four therapy sessions is enough
to know where it's headed.
345
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,143
There's a map on the wall
with government buildings
346
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,742
connected by strings.
347
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,074
Look, I know this hasn't been
348
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,442
the easiest couple
of days, guys,
349
00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:49,107
but it'll all be worth it
once I put this tape in.
350
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,879
I present to you Sliver.
351
00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:53,979
And it's Sliders, season two.
352
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,621
Classic Blockbuster blunder.
353
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,662
Oh, good. You numbskulls put
the wrong movie in here.
354
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:02,815
I want a refund.
355
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:05,063
Everybody outside now.
356
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,132
I can't believe this.
357
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,303
All I was trying to do was
have a nice movie night
358
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:11,032
with my family, and you guys
keep ruining it.
359
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:14,328
Wow, this is very similar
to a screenplay I wrote.
360
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:17,041
This guy is too into movies.
361
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,514
Remember, the one
I had you read
362
00:17:18,572 --> 00:17:21,782
that was like Love Actually
meets Independence Day?
363
00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:23,912
Uh, yeah, sure, I remember.
364
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,977
- You didn't read it?
- I'm gonna.
365
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:29,219
Don't be mad at me.
Be mad at, you know, these guys.
366
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,786
I'm sorry, kids,
all I wanted to do
367
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,545
was something special
with you guys.
368
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,890
That one thing you'd remember
doing with me
369
00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:38,456
for the rest of your lives,
but I failed.
370
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,829
Another failure in
a long string of failures.
371
00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,329
Are you kidding, Dad?
372
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,470
- This has been the most
exciting day ever.
- It has?
373
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,943
Yeah. We left the house
three days ago to rent a movie
374
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,373
and now we're in the middle
of the woods in Oregon
375
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,912
and might get murdered
by Blockbuster guys.
376
00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:56,575
Like, what is this?
377
00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:58,950
Yeah, we never know
what you're gonna do.
378
00:17:59,046 --> 00:18:01,216
It's usually silly or dangerous,
379
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,181
but it's also kind of awesome.
380
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,220
Yeah. Remember when he had
tiny arms
381
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:07,959
- for, like, three months?
- Or when he brought home
that horse.
382
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,518
Or that falcon.
Or that parrot.
383
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,357
Lot of illegal animals.
384
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,999
Or when that little guy
lived in his neck.
385
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,925
What the hell was that?
386
00:18:16,997 --> 00:18:19,067
Every few years
he fights a giant chicken
387
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,132
and destroys a city.
388
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,140
No one's named
a good thing yet.
389
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,572
You had a blimp
with your face on it.
390
00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:27,168
Your mother put me on pills
after I bought that.
391
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:29,681
You see, Dad, we don't need
a movie night
392
00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,113
for us to remember you.
393
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:34,308
Every day is like
a movie night with you.
394
00:18:38,085 --> 00:18:40,285
Well, I guess Mom knew
what she was doing
395
00:18:40,354 --> 00:18:43,064
when she insisted on
family fun day.
396
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,460
Super sweet moment, guys.
397
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,789
I'm gonna assume
this was all a callback
398
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,161
to something in act one.
399
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,529
Time to go outside now.
400
00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:58,339
Guys, please, I'm the one
with the late fees.
401
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,708
Don't hurt my family.
I'll do anything.
402
00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,944
Well, I have this screenplay,
it-it's an epic sci-fi,
403
00:19:04,011 --> 00:19:06,511
and it's mostly stage directions
where they...
404
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,677
Just kill us!
405
00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:12,120
What the hell?!
406
00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:31,542
Amazon drones?
You saved us.
407
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:36,405
Once again a streaming service
annihilates a Blockbuster.
408
00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,243
Wa-boosh.
409
00:19:37,311 --> 00:19:39,581
How did you even know
we were here?
410
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:43,246
Based on your recent purchases,
viewing habits and stored data,
411
00:19:43,317 --> 00:19:45,047
we determined that you were
being chased
412
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:46,818
through the wilderness
by the last two
413
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,760
Blockbuster employees on Earth.
414
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:50,162
Wow. Scary.
415
00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:52,464
I owe you an apology, Amazon.
416
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,926
You're a pretty amazing service
after all.
417
00:19:54,995 --> 00:19:59,325
DRONE 2:
Yes, I agree. Amazon workers
should not unionize.
418
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,369
I-I didn't--
I didn't say that.
419
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,937
Well, they sure can play dumb
when they want to.
420
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,936
Please stop spying on us, Alexa.
421
00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:07,312
Okay. Playing holiday music now.
422
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:11,214
♪ And since we've no place
to go ♪
423
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:15,081
♪ Let it snow, let it snow,
let it snow. ♪
424
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,324
Well, that Blockbuster adventure
sure was fun,
425
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,060
but we should probably just
watch movies
426
00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:25,988
at home from now on.
427
00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:27,833
You know, Dad,
while we were flying home,
428
00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,495
I did order something
special for you.
429
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:34,027
Sliver! We can still do
our old-school movie night.
430
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,571
I'll hook up the VCR.
431
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:39,411
Aw, damn it, we can't watch it.
432
00:20:39,473 --> 00:20:40,913
I don't have the right
adaptor cable.
433
00:20:41,008 --> 00:20:42,908
The last Circuit City
in the U. S.
434
00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:45,706
is in St. Augustine, Florida.
435
00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:49,079
- Let's go.
436
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:50,523
I'll start the car.
437
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:53,324
Looks like the Griffins are
at it again.
438
00:20:53,387 --> 00:20:56,757
Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos,
and I'm rich and bald.
439
00:20:56,857 --> 00:20:59,627
Guess which one matters.
Good night.
31133
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof