Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:04,922
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,342
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:11,386
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:14,389
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:18,435
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,522
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,065
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,192
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:29,863
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,162
Hey, Quagmire,
how was your date last night?
11
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,497
Cleveland,
it was amazing.
12
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,332
You know what I discovered
last night?
13
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,750
Women have
a fourth hole.
14
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:42,960
What?
Yeah.
15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,378
I mean,
it's only visible
16
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:45,921
if you're looking
from exactly the right angle,
17
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,631
like the entrance
to Hogwarts.
18
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,675
But you got to believe
that it's there.
19
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,677
Man, I envy
you single guys.
20
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,804
No families, partying
whenever you want.
21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557
These are the only people
I get to party with.
22
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,600
Oh, that's where
the fourth hole is, right there.
23
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,227
Right there in the back
of the knee.
24
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,812
I like having a family.
25
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:05,190
I got all the crazy out of
my system when I was 18.
26
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,651
Not me. I was dating Lois
the whole time.
27
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,444
I never got to be wild.
28
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,406
Except for that time I rode
the mechanical bull at that bar.
29
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,157
(giggling)
30
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,368
Oh my God,
how embarrassing!
31
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,329
Look how much fun I am!
32
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,832
It's like I missed out
on half my life.
33
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,626
What I wouldn't give
to be 18 again,
34
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,211
like those kids
on spring break.
35
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,130
Grim news from Daytona, Florida,
36
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,340
where the remains
of three female college students
37
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,467
were found
near a local nightclub.
38
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,845
Reports suggest that
all three were violated sexually
39
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,722
before being brutally murdered.
40
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:37,973
Oh, man, see that?
41
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,184
Everybody's getting laid but me.
42
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,727
(static)
43
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,604
Oh, come on! Oh!
44
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,231
Hang on, I'll fix it.
45
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,566
Oh!
46
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,984
Oh, my God,
is he dead?
47
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,694
I think he might
be dead!
48
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,154
Oh, did you
hear that?
49
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,031
Noah Wylie here thinks
he might be dead.
50
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,074
Step aside, Junior.
51
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,160
Nope, he's just
knocked out.
52
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,078
Damn, I drove
all the way out here.
53
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,080
I had to cancel
another appointment.
54
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,917
I never like to be
too far away from Mike Wallace.
55
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,002
(typewriter keys clicking)
56
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,427
Hey, Death, I-I got
a favor to ask you.
57
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,931
Could you let me go back in time
and be 18 again?
58
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,933
What, are you high? No.
59
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:24,144
Coming up next on ESPN,
Women's Professional...
60
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,979
All right, you win.
Let's go.
61
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,898
But just
for one night.
62
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,202
What the hell?
Where are we?
63
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,413
Oh my God, this is...
this is Newport Country Club!
64
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,332
I used to be
a towel boy here!
65
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,542
That's right, Peter.
66
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:47,876
You're 18 years old
again.
67
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,795
At least that's
how everyone'll see you.
68
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,424
Hey, Peter,
slap me five.
69
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,260
Slap me ten.
70
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,845
Around the side.
71
00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,221
And back again.
72
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,472
Up high.
73
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:01,849
Down low.
74
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:04,184
Now over by the
diving board.
75
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,272
Now on the other
side of the pool.
76
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,861
All right, now I want you
to meet me at this address
77
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,238
in an hour, and we'll
slap five there.
78
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,031
Then afterwards,
we'll hit the bars.
79
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,408
That sounds good to me.
80
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,743
I'm 18, and I'm ready
to do some living.
81
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:24,413
We are gonna raise more hell
than Hellraiser.
82
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,415
(muffled laughter)
83
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,251
Hey, honey, you want some salt
for your steak?
84
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,753
Yeah, sure.
85
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,172
Aha, gotcha!
86
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,340
That's more salt
than you wanted.
87
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,676
LOIS:
Hello, boys.
88
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,720
(Kenny Loggins'
"Mr. Night" plays)
89
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:47,352
Wow. 18-year-old Lois.
90
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,730
Son of a bitch.
91
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,024
(scat singing)
92
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:03,827
♪ I see those ivory lies
in sweet Rosita's eyes ♪
93
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,330
♪ Gonna leave them both behind ♪
94
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:10,542
♪ When we 'tomaso all night ♪
95
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,711
♪ Hey, hey... ♪
96
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,838
Hi, Peter.
97
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,757
I'm really looking
forward to the movie tonight.
98
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,884
Peter and I
are going to see Zapped.
99
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,677
I figured Scott Baio
was androgynous enough
100
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,471
that we could both
fantasize about him,
101
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,181
and no one
would be gay.
102
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,891
Lois, we got the rest
of our lives
103
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,809
for me to not hear
a word you just said,
104
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,687
but tonight, I got plans
with Cleveland.
105
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,524
But we had a date.
106
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:37,319
Could I Wham my Oingo Boingo
into your Velvet Underground?
107
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:44,076
MAN (on radio): Stay tuned for President
Ronald Reagan's weekly radio address.
108
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,661
Ronald Reagan?!
109
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:46,954
The actor?!
110
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,121
He's president?!
111
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,331
Peter, you're the one
from the future.
112
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,083
You should know...
Ah, forget it.
113
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,670
Oh, you've got to hear
this new Eddie Murphy cassette I bought.
114
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,255
Hey, did you ever
have a barbecue?
115
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:57,506
(laughing)
116
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,966
I have!
117
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,054
(video game whirring)
118
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,098
Wow. You're really good
at this game.
119
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,891
Yeah, I've logged a lot
of game hours
120
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,351
on Menstrual Ms. Pacman.
121
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,355
What?! What?!
122
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,523
Geez.
Nothing.
123
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:15,607
Bitch.
124
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:18,485
So, uh, have you
seen Ghostbusters?
125
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,695
Save your breath,
geekwad.
126
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,113
I'm here
with my boyfriend.
127
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,865
You mean that
quintessentially '80s guy
128
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,783
with his collar
turned up all the way?
129
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,202
Are you hitting
on my girlfriend?
130
00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:28,287
(moaning)
131
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,872
Mmm. That
was nice.
132
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:30,956
I'll say.
133
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,124
Peter, is that...?
134
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,293
Are you...
Molly Ringwald?
135
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,752
Yeah. How's
it going?
136
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,546
Wow, you're the biggest star
in the world right now.
137
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:38,630
What are you
doing here?
138
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:40,799
Oh, I like to hook up
with random bar guys.
139
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:43,010
Lucky for me, huh?
140
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,928
No, a hobby's good.
141
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,471
All right, Peter,
your time's up.
142
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,015
Aw, man, already?
143
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,225
Yup, come on.
(groans)
144
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,894
Good to meet you, Molly.
145
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:54,062
I'll be back later
for your career.
146
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,569
Well, I hope you got
your fill, Peter.
147
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,070
Death, that was
totally worth it.
148
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,072
It was even better
than the time
149
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,991
I stumbled into that fat,
lonely women's club.
150
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,453
Uh, excuse me,
could I get directions
151
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,704
to the Providence Civic Center?
152
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,081
ALL:
Ooh!
153
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,083
Do you
like cake?
154
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,293
Yes.
155
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,836
Do you like
my ass?
156
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:18,921
Yes.
157
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,298
Do you want to eat
cake off my ass?
158
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,758
What kind of cake?
159
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,219
Angel food cake.
160
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,054
Well, Rusty, looks like
161
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,181
we're gonna eat our way
out of another jam.
162
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,157
(yawns)
163
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,450
Honey, you awake?
164
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,244
Morning, sweetie.
Aah!
165
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,412
Who the hell are you?!
What are you doing in my bed?!
166
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,122
Peter, it's me. Molly?
167
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,207
Your wife?
168
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,834
Molly Ringwald?
169
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:57,918
You're my wife?!
170
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,461
We've been married for 20 years.
171
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:00,838
What's wrong with you?
172
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,714
Hi. I'm Judd Nelson.
173
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,800
I crash here once
or twice a week.
174
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,593
(overwhelmed sigh)
175
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,306
(screaming)
176
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,433
Brian, Molly Ringwald
is in my bed,
177
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,935
and she says
she's my wife!
178
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,019
That's not all.
179
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,104
Look at this place.
180
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,188
Everything's different.
181
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,857
This is crazy.
182
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,192
Brian, did you ever see
that Twilight Zone episode?
183
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,069
You know, where the
woman wakes up in the hospital,
184
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,529
and all the
doctors are pigs?
185
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,072
Yeah.
I like that one.
186
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,949
But what the hell
is going on here?
187
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,951
You know, I think
I have a theory.
188
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,287
It's possible that
when we went back in time,
189
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,122
we somehow altered the past.
190
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,623
Geez, Brian,
that's more ridiculous
191
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:40,210
than the theory of why Tom
Cruise runs in all his movies.
192
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:46,091
Wow, that cameraman
has nice strong arms.
193
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:48,343
You can't catch me,
gay thoughts.
194
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,556
Hey, where the hell is Lois?
That's weird.
195
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,017
Looks like she's coming out
of Quagmire's house.
196
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,103
Lois, what the hell?
197
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,731
I'm gone for one night,
and you sleep with Quagmire?!
198
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,524
Mr. Griffin,
what I do
199
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,693
with my husband is
none of your business.
200
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,403
Husband?
Morning, Pete.
201
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,031
Hope you and Molly
can still join us for dinner tonight.
202
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,033
Come here, baby.
Let's go play Schoolgirl
203
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,827
And Guy Who Has Sex
With Schoolgirl.
204
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:15,037
(Lois laughing)
205
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,872
Brian, what the
hell is going on?!
206
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,957
We were only in
1984 one night,
207
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,168
and now everything's
all messed up.
208
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,046
I think I can explain it
to you, Peter.
209
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,882
This line represents
the normal flow of events.
210
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,051
Here's where you met Lois,
here's where you got married,
211
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,427
and here's the present.
212
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,262
And here's the night at the bar.
213
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,181
Now, at some point
during that evening,
214
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,767
you did something that changed
the course of your history,
215
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,685
causing the time line
to skew off
216
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,646
into an alternate tangent,
217
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,314
where you're married
to Molly Ringwald,
218
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,775
Quagmire's married to Lois,
and for some reason,
219
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,276
we have a chalkboard
in the living room.
220
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,736
Well, what are we gonna do?
221
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:51,281
We got to figure out what
happened at this point in time.
222
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,283
And I'll tell you another thing
that worries me.
223
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,327
You ever hear the theory
that if you kill a butterfly
224
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,955
in the past, it can drastically
alter the present?
225
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,624
Well, who knows
what else we changed.
226
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,417
MAN (on TV):
Tonight on The Tonight Show,
227
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,086
movie star George Clooney.
228
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,254
Oh, he's good.
229
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,506
Comedian Dave Chappelle.
230
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:08,924
He's funny. Like him.
231
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,510
And musician Harry Connick Jr.
232
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:12,970
Wow. What a show.
233
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,348
And, now, ladies
and gentleman, here's...
234
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,516
Chevy!
235
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,268
Oh, God, Brian,
we messed up bad.
236
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,811
We messed up
real bad.
237
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,315
(doorbell ringing)
238
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,817
Howdy, neighbors!
Come on in.
239
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,777
Hey, Lois, Peter
and Molly are here!
240
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:30,737
Chris, say hi tosMr.
and Mrs. Griffin.
241
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,281
Hi, Mr. Griffin.
242
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,365
How's it
goin', man?
243
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,158
Chris, Stewie!
244
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,452
Oh, my God! All right,
don't freak out, Peter.
245
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:40,080
Don't freak out like you did
when your goldfish died.
246
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:43,125
Here you go,
Lieutenant Shiny-Sides.
247
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,794
It's okay. You don't have
to eat it now.
248
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:47,379
You're just sleeping.
249
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,506
(voice breaking):
You'll eat it later.
250
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,843
You'll eat it later,
Lieutenant Shiny-Sides!
251
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,887
(sobbing)
252
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,185
Meg, stop staring
at Mr. Griffin.
253
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,936
I'm sorry,
Peter.
254
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,272
I'm afraid she's got
her father's libido.
255
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,441
What can I say? I'm
a Vagitarius. Oh!
256
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,109
(all three laughing)
257
00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:11,445
ALL THREE: Giggity, giggity, giggity,
giggity, giggity, giggity.
258
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,988
Hey, did you guys
hear on the news
259
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,573
about President
Gore hunting down
260
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,950
and killing Osama Bin
Laden with his bare hands?
261
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,911
I know. Who would've thought
262
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:21,830
Bin Laden was hiding out
in the cast of Mad TV.
263
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,332
Man, the perfect
hiding spot.
264
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,167
The one place no
one would look.
265
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,085
(buzzer sounds)
Oh, there's the pie.
266
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,133
Lois, this is
a huge mistake.
267
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,885
What are you talking
about, Peter?
268
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,720
You're supposed
to be married to me.
269
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,263
We're the ones who were
meant to be together.
270
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:39,723
Not you and
Quagmire.
271
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,060
(laughs) It's a little late for that,
don't you think, Peter?
272
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,187
I mean, there was a time
back when we dated
273
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,814
that I thought
you might be the one,
274
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,025
but as I recall,
you were more interested
275
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,944
in partying
with your friends.
276
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:55,656
Then Glenn came along,
and stole my heart. (laughs)
277
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,617
When he kissed me that night
at the Country Club Dance,
278
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,953
I knew we'd be together forever.
279
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,788
Hey Lois, I'm ready
for your pie.
280
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,957
And you made
dessert, too! Oh!
281
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,542
(laughing):
Oh, Glenn,
282
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:09,002
I love all your sex jokes
and your dirty puns.
283
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,879
That's why
I married you.
284
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:13,757
Mmm.
Let's go upstairs and do it.
285
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,759
Okay!
286
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,808
Brian, going back in
time ruined my life.
287
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,644
We've got to get
Death to send us back to 1984 again
288
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:26,979
so I can undo what I did.
289
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,314
Or we could just make
the best of this.
290
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,024
Al Gore is President.
291
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,652
We could kind of just take
that one and call it a win.
292
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,612
I mean, with Bush,
we didn't have flying cars
293
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,030
that run on vegetable oil.
294
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,785
♪ Meet George Jetson ♪
295
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,874
♪ His boy Elroy ♪
296
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,213
♪ Daughter Judy ♪
297
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:58,343
♪ Jane, his wife ♪
298
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,264
Hey, hey!
299
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,932
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey! No, no, no!
300
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:07,019
No! No! I took this
one out for you.
301
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,479
You take this one,
I keep this!
302
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,107
You are not taking
my whole wallet so you can go shopping.
303
00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:14,193
I was just going
to buy some groceries.
304
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,903
Bull crap.
305
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,615
I don't care what
it takes, Brian,
306
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,366
I've got to get Lois
back somehow.
307
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,452
Well, the only one
who can help us is Death,
308
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,245
and he only shows up
when somebody dies.
309
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,705
(sighs):
That's gonna be tough.
310
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,582
With President Gore's
universal health care,
311
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,125
people are living much
longer these days.
312
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,085
And with zero
tolerance gun control
313
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,837
and a strong, well-funded
educational system,
314
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,464
there's no street crime.
315
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,216
Face it, Peter,
you not marrying Lois
316
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,301
was the best thing that
ever happened to the world.
317
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,928
I don't care; we've
got to find a way
318
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,346
to summon Death
and quick.
319
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,932
(thud)
320
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,099
Well, that might do it.
321
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,394
Death, oh, thank God
you're here!
322
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,522
Listen, you've got to
send me back in time again
323
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:52,940
so I can marry Lois.
324
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,399
Man, it's been a busy day.
325
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,527
Dick Cheney,
the chairman of Halliburton,
326
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,655
shot Supreme Court Justice
Scalia in a hunting accident,
327
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,198
and the bullet went
right through him
328
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,450
and killed Karl Rove
and Tucker Carlson.
329
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,911
Oh, my God, Peter,
you can't marry Lois.
330
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,704
I don't know who any
of those people are.
331
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,751
All right, hang on.
332
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,002
Here we go.
333
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,219
This is the exact
moment in 1984
334
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,179
that I sent you
to the first time.
335
00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:26,098
You've just got to manage
not to screw it up again.
336
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:31,061
Lois! Oh, my God,
it's so good to see you!
337
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,814
Hey, Peter, you
all set to go see Zapped! tonight?
338
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:36,191
I figured Scott Baio
was androgynous enough that we could...
339
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:37,693
That we could both
fantasize about him
340
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,319
and no one would be gay,
yeah, I know the joke.
341
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:41,029
Hey, you know what,
listen, Zapped! sucks.
342
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:42,406
Why don't we go see Krull?
343
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,825
Peter, you know I'm
dying to see Zapped!.
344
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,535
I would much prefer Krull.
345
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,704
Well, maybe you should
just go by yourself.
346
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,747
Well, maybe I will.
Fine.
347
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,499
Crap. Death!
348
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:55,169
What?
One more time.
349
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:58,172
Hey, Peter, you
all set to go see Zapped! tonight?
350
00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:00,382
I figured Scott Baio
was androgynous enough
351
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,718
that we could...
(laughing): That's hilarious!
352
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,136
You are a delight.
353
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,221
And Zapped! is one
of my favorite movies.
354
00:14:06,305 --> 00:14:08,515
I look forward to watching it
with you, sweetheart.
355
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:09,725
Oh, wonderful.
356
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,143
(passes gas)
357
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,936
Death!
358
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,397
Hey, Peter, you
all set to go see Zapped! tonight?
359
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,982
I figured
Scott Baio was...
360
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,775
Yeah, yeah, Scott Baio, gay,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
361
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,485
(laughs): I can't wait to see the movie.
362
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:21,695
Well, terrific.
363
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,155
I'll see you tonight.
364
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,865
Oh, hey, Peter.
365
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,992
Say, I was just getting
ready to hit the town.
366
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,327
You want to join me?
367
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,579
I can't, Cleveland,
I got a date with Lois.
368
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,164
It's gonna be fun.
369
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,749
It is?
370
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,792
("Axel F" plays)
371
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:42,049
(vocalizing)
372
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,721
♪ And then another
he-he he-he-he. ♪
373
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:48,972
Peter, what the hell
are you doing?
374
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,432
You're supposed
to be with Lois.
375
00:14:50,516 --> 00:14:52,684
Aw, crap! Death!
376
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,978
No. Y-you know what?
I'm not doing it again.
377
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,772
Screw this.
No more mulligans.
378
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,398
You're on your own.
379
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:01,109
Oh, damn it, Brian,
what the hell am I gonna do now?
380
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:02,778
I haven't screwed up this bad
381
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,364
since I bought Joe Piscopo
that barbell set.
382
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,408
All right Joe, now don't
get carried away with this.
383
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:09,660
Don't worry, Peter.
384
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,037
I'll only work out
during my downtime.
385
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,043
Oh, look who it is.
386
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,003
Only 14 hours late.
387
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,631
If you don't want to
spend time with me, Peter, that's fine.
388
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,675
But at least don't
make me wait up all night for you.
389
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,301
Lois, I'm so sorry.
390
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:28,095
I promise, I'll make
it up to you tonight.
391
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,638
We can watch any
stupid movie you want.
392
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,682
Sorry, I've
already got plans.
393
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,976
What do you--
what do you mean "plans"?
394
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,436
I'm going to the Country
Club Dance with Glenn.
395
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,980
I wanted to
surprise you
396
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,189
with the invitation
last night,
397
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:40,607
but you never showed up.
398
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,819
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I have to get ready.
399
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,196
Peter, the Country Club
Dance is where Lois said
400
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,073
she fell in love
with Quagmire.
401
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,075
If they kiss at that
dance, you're finished.
402
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,577
You're right, Brian.
We've got to stop them.
403
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:54,580
And I think I know how.
404
00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,832
("Axel F" plays, vocalizing)
405
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,838
♪ And then another
he-he he-he-he. ♪
406
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,798
Peter!
Oh, God, sorry, sorry, sorry.
407
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:05,924
You're right,
let's go to the dance.
408
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:11,722
♪ ♪
409
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,391
Peter used to be
so passionate.
410
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,269
Suddenly he just doesn't
seem very interested in me anymore.
411
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,813
Lois, if may speak
freely, as a friend?
412
00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:21,440
You deserve
better than Peter.
413
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,900
You deserve
a gentleman.
414
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,485
Oh, Glenn, you're so sweet.
415
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:26,904
Oh, something poked me.
416
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,614
It's okay, it's okay.
417
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,698
It's just my wang.
418
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,250
PETER: Now I know what
a TV dinner feels like.
419
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:42,044
BRIAN: What?
It's a line from Die Hard.
420
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:43,712
Hasn't been made yet.
421
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,297
We could write it, Brian.
422
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,924
After we're done with this,
we could write it.
423
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,884
(crashing, shouting)
424
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,428
Oh, my God,
you just crushed Andy!
425
00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:52,804
Oh, yeah, sorry about that.
426
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,431
Oh, oh, you're sorry?
427
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,350
Who's gonna play guitar?
428
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,101
♪ ♪
429
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:06,068
♪ Earth angel, earth angel ♪
430
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:08,070
Oh, I love this song.
431
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,993
Lois, may I have
this dance?
432
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,995
Peter, what are you doing here?
433
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,081
I love you,
Lois Pewterschmidt.
434
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:22,084
And not Quagmire or any
man, she-male, robot
435
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,419
or sentient robot curious
about its own existence
436
00:17:24,503 --> 00:17:25,712
is going to keep
you from me!
437
00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,881
Peter, I am here with Glenn.
438
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,675
You had your chance
with me and you blew it.
439
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,635
Now leave us alone.
440
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,221
Is that what you
really want, Lois?
441
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,265
Yes, it is.
442
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:38,600
Well, I guess that's it.
443
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,060
Who the hell am I kidding?
444
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,645
I don't deserve her.
445
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,777
Come on, Peter.
446
00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:50,696
Prove to Lois that you love her.
447
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,322
It's your last chance.
448
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:56,702
♪ ♪
449
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,537
Hey, Quagmire.
Huh?
450
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,961
Sorry, Lois, but I
have to do this.
451
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,963
(moaning)
452
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:14,052
Oh, Peter, that was
so passionate.
453
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,430
Why, I didn't know
I meant that much to you.
454
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,056
Are you kidding?
455
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,267
Lois, I couldn't bear
to live without you.
456
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,476
I came back thinking
457
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,437
I was missing
something in my life.
458
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,105
But what I almost missed
459
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,774
was the best thing that's
ever happened to me.
460
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:31,945
Lois Pewterschmidt,
will you be my wife?
461
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,280
Yes.
462
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,615
Yes, I will.
463
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:39,203
♪ ♪
464
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,056
(song ends)
465
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,435
(applause)
466
00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:08,357
I think they want another one.
467
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:10,901
(cheering)
468
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,153
Uh... okay.
469
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,242
Here's a song by a gay guy.
470
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,452
(plays Rick Astley's
"Never Gonna Give You Up")
471
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:30,796
♪ We're no strangers to love ♪
472
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:35,217
♪ You know the rules
and so do I ♪
473
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,846
♪ A full commitment's
what I'm thinking of ♪
474
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:42,307
♪ You wouldn't get this
from any other guy ♪
475
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:48,021
♪ I just want to tell you
how I'm feeling ♪
476
00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:50,566
♪ Got to make you understand ♪
477
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:54,486
♪ Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down ♪
478
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,488
♪ Never gonna run around ♪
479
00:19:56,572 --> 00:19:58,532
♪ And desert you ♪
Whoa, whoa, big guy.
480
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,784
You're probably never
even gonna see him again.
481
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,995
♪ Never gonna say good-bye ♪
482
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:06,999
♪ Never gonna tell a lie
and hurt you... ♪
483
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:10,335
Hey, Rick,
it's your cousin, Marvin.
484
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,337
Marvin Astley?!
485
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:14,006
You know that mediocre,
486
00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:16,508
generic sound
you've been looking for?
487
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:18,343
Well, listen to this!
488
00:20:18,427 --> 00:20:19,970
♪ Never gonna give,
Never gonna give ♪
489
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,389
♪ Give you up ♪
490
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,224
♪ Never gonna give,
Never gonna give ♪
491
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,518
♪ Give you up ♪
492
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,270
♪ Never gonna give... ♪
493
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:35,319
(trills note)
494
00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,036
MAN:
I didn't like any of that.
495
00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:51,084
Wow, Peter, that's
an amazing story.
496
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:53,045
And I'm touched that
you went through
497
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:55,631
so much trouble
just to be with me.
498
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:58,509
Obviously, I made the right
choice when I married you.
499
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,219
Me, too, Lois.
500
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,262
And, hey, let's just
all be grateful
501
00:21:02,346 --> 00:21:04,890
that things are completely
back to normal again.
502
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,476
Who ate all the
pecan sandies?
503
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,356
♪
36094
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof