Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

[panting]

He's here.

Where, Mr. Thorne?

Huh? Ah! There!

I-I-I saw him!

[wind howling]

clink

What? What's that?

Take him!

[grunting]

[groaning]

Uh. Okay.

Uh, we split the take, 30-70.

[gasps]

Fifty-fifty.

Aah.

Uh, ah!

Ah!

Uhh!

[dramatic music]

Uh-ha.

How-how'd you do that?

I'm the Batman.

[theme music]

[squawking]

[music continues]

♪ The Batman ♪

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[sirens wailing]

[beeping]

[music continues]

whoosh

Surprise.

I'm touched, Alfred

but my birthday isn't until October.

(Alfred) It's an anniversary, Master Bruce.

Three years ago tonight, you first donned cape and cowl.

Crime flies.

Chop-chop. Make a wish.

I wish, I wish..

[instrumental music]

I wish they were here, too. Very much so.

To the memory of Thomas and Martha Wayne.

The reason I became the Batman.

(male #1) 'Chief Rojas, can you verify rumors'

'that it was the Batman who apprehended'

'crime boss Rupert Thorne and his gang last night?'

Do you know of anyone who's actually seen this Batman?

Because he's what's called an Urban Legend.

Why that cheeky..

- Bran flakes, sir. - Easy, Alfred.

The Batman's right where he likes

hovering below the radar.

You are not one to bask in glory, Master Bruce.

Well, there you have it.

In only three years time, our crime rate

has plummeted to a nationwide low

thanks to Gotham's finest.

Back to you, Jim.

Next up, billionaire Bruce Wayne

contributes an unprecedented sum

to Gotham's children's hospital.

And in sports, the Gators kick off a new season

with tonight's home game.

Which billionaire Bruce Wayne will be there to enjoy.

Your season tickets, sir.

Oh, to-tonight? Oh, but I had..

Work to do in the Batcave?

For the Batman to better remain below the radar

Bruce Wayne must occasionally venture above it.

[sighs]

Get anything on our vigilante this time, Bennett?

Besides the fact that he bat-wrapped

Thorne's butt for us?

Well, it's up to you and your partner to see to it

that this Urban Legend doesn't become a folk hero.

Partner? Since when?

Since I decided two heads are better than one.

[instrumental music]

Detective Ethan Bennett, meet Detective Ellen Yin

formally of Metropolis PD.

- Their loss. - Howdy, partner.

Welcome to Gotham.

Now that you two are acquainted

bring me this Batman, whoever he is.

[thunder rumbling]

(Alfred) 'Ahem.'

I know, Alfred.

Time for swinging Bachelor Bruce Wayne

to put on the party hat.

Rest assured, Master Bruce.

You're never far from the Batcave

with the modern miracle of Batwave.

[beeping]

[intense music]

Steiner, check.

McSwain, check.

223, vacant.

Hey.

No one logged any new arrivals.

Whoa.

What are you doing in here?

What the..

I was feeling a bit screw-loose

so I checked myself in.

Who-who are you?

My card.

[evil laugh]

'Huh, uh, no! N-no! No! Aah!'

[instrumental music]

[thunder rumbling]

[alarm buzzing]

[maniacal laughter]

Let me tell you something. Ol' bats never leaves a trace.

No prints, no follicles, no match on tire tracks.

- Custom jobs. - The dude has resources.

And a knack for showing up where crime is

and police aren't.

I've never laid eyes on him.

Just in.

An unknown perp released all patients

from the East Wing of Arkham Asylum.

What? That's crazy!

Crazy enough to lure a bat?

[instrumental music]

[alarm buzzing]

[crowd cheering]

You know, I once toyed with the idea

of buying the Gators, buying them lunch.

[both laugh]

Oh, Mr. Wayne.

[beeping]

Uh, pardon me, ladies.

[beeping]

Arkham?

(man on TV) 'And among Gotham notables'

'we welcome the young CEO of Wayne Industries'

'Bruce W-Wayne, uh'

'grabbing a Gator dog, no doubt.'

No doubt.

[beeping]

[tires screech]

Gotta work on those stops.

[dramatic music]

[thunder rumbling]

[siren wailing]

Whoa!

[instrumental "Pop Goes The Weasel"]

What the..

zap

[explosion]

[men yelling]

That was theatrical.

[intense music]

[maniacal laughter]

He takes after his pa, wouldn't you say?

What did you do to him?

Just some laughing gas, drag.

Don't tell me you're not an inmate.

What rational being dresses like you?

Speaking of threads

think this is a good look for me?

- Who are you? - Joker.

Not what, who?

[grunting]

Smear-free. It's perma-clown.

Ooh, tough crowd.

Look! Nothing up my sleeves. Ha ha.

Nothing that won't put a smile on your face.

Say, cheese.

[cackling]

I'm out of gas.

And I'm out of patience!

You really know how to spoil a coming-out party.

How do you expect me to spread mirth and whimsy

without a proper hideout?

Listen, Joker, you're sick! You need help.

Well, maybe I am a little off.

Yah!

But what are you gonna do, lock me in the looney bin?

I'm already here.

[tires screeching]

Situation report?

We're rounding up patients and waiting for choppers

to take us over.

Like we'll get any drier?

Uh.

Huh.

My new partner. Triathlon Whiz.

[dramatic music]

You know, I really love this place.

[grunting] My old hideout's a shambles.

Eyah. He-heh.

And these digs just scream me.

[panting]

Okay, take back the asylum.

But mark my words, this town has happy days ahead.

[intense music]

[maniacal laugh]

[instrumental "Pop Goes The Weasel"]

[grunting]

boing

(Joker) 'Smile, Gotham!'

[sighs]

[grunting]

Well, better split up.

[instrumental music]

[gasps]

You have the right to remain silent.

Bennett, spot the perp?

[dramatic music]

The Bat.

Sir, a stranger in the Batcave?

Tonight, we'll make an exception.

Oh, my, chap could use a dentist.

Or a medic.

Right, then.

(male #1) 'Chief Rojas, any suspects yet in this bizarre'

'jack-in-the-box hostage incident?'

(Rojas) 'I'm not at liberty to reveal whom.'

'But I feel confident our best detectives'

'are closing in on him as we speak.'

And Gotham Gator fan Bruce Wayne

with nary an alibi.

How's our patient?

Despite the ghastly grimace

fit as a fiddle.

Poor fellow simply a prisoner

in his own body.

[doorbell buzzes]

A sample of Joker's gas

is our only hope of deriving an antidote.

I need to find it before this madman

puts a permanent smile on all of Gotham.

(Joker) 'Smile, Gotham!

My old hideout's a shambles.

If I find the old hideout, I find this Joker.

(Alfred) 'Master Bruce, someone to see you.'

Who is it, Alfred?

[elevator bell dings]

The police.

[intense music]

Detective, uh, am I under arrest?

Yo, Bruce!

[chuckles] Ethan.

Where you've been, my friend?

Master Bruce was at the Gator game last night.

Speaking of, I thought we were all set

to shoot some hoops last week.

Ah, I-I've been buried, Ethan, 24/7.

So, why the sudden visit?

Just...ne-needed to talk to someone.

Other than the guys at the station, I mean.

This is gonna sound weird, Bruce.

But last night..

...I saw the Batman.

[porcelain shatters]

Only a Ming.

So, he's for real?

What's he look like?

A dude like you or me.

Except he wears Batjamas.

[chuckles]

Tough part's this, Bruce.

I really believe the Bat's helping Gotham.

Even if he is on the wrong side of the law.

But he's getting a bad rap

and the heat's on me to take him down.

(Batman) 'Looks like a clown hideout.'

[intense music]

Stop me if you've heard this one before, Batman.

There were these two fellows

in an abandoned party favor factory.

One says to the other..

Where are you keeping the gas, Joker?

You call that a punch line?

I don't share your sense of humor.

Yet we're linked, you and I.

Like comedy and tragedy.

Two sides, same coin.

The gas, Joker

or I vow I will turn your smile upside-down.

If it's gas you want.

[laughs]

Place all tray tables in their upright positions.

[maniacal laughter]

- What is that? - Ah.

- It looks like a balloon. - Smiles, people. Smiles!

The balloon's filled with Joker gas.

'And he's gonna pop it.'

Over Gotham.

[beeping]

[dramatic music]

A balloon downtown this time of year? That's--

Crazy? I'll drive.

[Joker laughing]

[dramatic music]

If you're loving me

wait till you get a load of my pop.

[Joker laughing]

[grunts]

- Stop this thing, Joker. - With what brakes?

[grunting]

He-ah!

[siren wailing]

It's the Batman. And he's pummeling a clown.

- Ugh! - Aah!

The jack-in-the-box, Yin.

What if clowny's the one behind the Arkham incident?

Explain the missing orderly.

Maybe Bats took him 'cause.. Uh, I don't know.

Uh, the guy needed help or something.

Fair enough. We're chasing two perps.

One's a criminal. The other's still a vigilante.

[dramatic music]

[grunts]

Watch your pinkies.

Whoa.

[grunting]

[siren wailing]

East. Gotham Bay.

[tires screeching]

You have made me one very sad clown!

You.. Where'd you go?

- Knock-knock. - Who's there?

[grunting]

[intense music]

[engine revving]

Ah!

[grunting]

boing boing boing

[music continues]

My precious gas passed by a party pooper.

I had a different punch line in mind.

[bell tolling]

(Ellen) 'Well, we can take the clown in.'

I know you love to swim.

Alfred, move our houseguest out of the Batcave

and prep the lab. I have an antidote to whip up.

Steiner, check.

McSwain, check.

223, new arrival.

Check.

They all said I was sick in the head.

They said I needed help.

Well, maybe I am a bit batty.

Blame it on the Bats in my belfry.

[maniacal laughter]

[theme music]

♪ The Batman ♪