Original subtitles

[sombre music playing]

[John] Previously on The Edge of the Bush.

Oh, yes, my wonderful mother. This is all her fault!

[Ryan] She was the queen of calisthenics.

But now she just lives in a nursing home.

[Dusty] I remember the night I made it to the edge of the bush.

Sandra!

[Karen] The competitions four days away, Jase.

I don't have time for this.

I'm hacking into the mainframe. I'm nearly there!

[John] And tell the neighbour I havent been touching his dog!

I'm sick of being accused of touching everybodys dog.

Oh, I'm an incest baby? Oh, worst day ever!

I'm Glen! Glen!

[Sarah] Shut up!

I'm trying to sleep in here!

[sobs]

[dramatic music playing]

Oh, it turns out I'm an incest baby.

Bloody hell! So embarrassing!

This is the worst!

Oh, yeah, everyones laughing at me now, arent they?

Well, ha, ha,ha, laugh it up!

[Rebecca cries] God, I cant do anything now!

Bloody incest. Its all over me!

There are so many people to blame, but I think I know where to start.

I cant be responsible for what I do next!

God, she'll upload anything, wont she?

Oh, where could she be?

I reckon if I zoom in on the background and use the timecode,

I could get her coordinates.

Oh, gee whiz, love. Those computer classes are paying off.

Yeah. No, computer classes.

God, this is such a mess. How could you have done it, Craig?

What? I didnt do anything wrong!

Oh, if you think theres nothing wrong

with boning your own sister on the edge of the bush,

then I don't know how to help ya. I've always said that havent I Jase?

Yep.

Just let me explain, please!

[sighs]

That night we ran away, we were trying to make it to the bush.

We wanted to find Dad, but…

-[emotional music playing] -…we only made it to the edge.

Sandra saw this open mic night advertised at a pub.

She, she, she begged me to go in.

So, while shes up there singing her country songs, I got the menu out.

For years, Mums been ordering me around!

"Dont eat this. Dont eat that." I, I, I, I nearly lost my mind!

So, I started ordering.

Sausage rolls. Spring rolls. Hot dogs. Pies. San choi bow!

And that was just the entrées.

I had six rum and cokes, six, maybe more!

Then I got onto the mains.

Chicken parmigiana, surfnturf, chicken chow mein,

a couple of schnitties on top of that! Anything my fat little heart desired.

Oh, then the bill came.

I couldnt pay it.

The owner of the pub, Greasy Steve, they called him.

He said hed kill me if I didnt pay.

Oh, God, I've been trying to pay that bill my whole life!

-[Craig sobs] -[Jason hits computer key]

I think I've found Rebecca.

-[Karen's mobile phone rings] -Hello?

Oh, God.

[both] The nursing home.

Yeah, actually, its all coming back to me now.

-[emotional music playing] -I was five, and a baby arr--

[Nurse over PA] Paging Doctor Walker.

Doctor Walker, please report to reception.

You know, my wife was the queen of calisthenics when the kids were younger.

What is that?

Its a dynamic artform where gymnastics and dance

come together and friendships and confidence are fostered.

Whyd you have to bring that dog? Whose dog is it anyway?

Mine! I didnt know hed go whoopsie in the car!

Yeah, that is going to be quite a clean up for Simon.

-Yeah. -Hey, I'm proud of you, John,

for what you're doing today.

Yeah. I gotta set things right.

-Are you ready? -Are you a pig dog?

Just seems a little unnecessary, considering how much I'm helping you.

-[dog whines, barks] -Yeah.

-Whoa. -Oh, my God.

-Oh, yucky. -Oh!

Oh, I should not have given him that bin meat!

-Well, thats a nasty one! -Oh, my God!

[dramatic music playing]

-[John gasps] -Stop!

[Simon] Stop!

I'm an incest baby! I'm made of incest!

[Rebecca] It's all her fault!

And I've killed her, so suck shit!

Nah, you're right darl. She died this morning.

Oh, I cant even do that right! Bloody incest baby!

I'm doomed for life!

[Dusty] Thats not true.

[John gasps]

[emotional music playing]

Who are you?

I'm your mother.

[emotional music continues]

Sandra!

[Dusty] Spring rolls.

Sausage rolls.

Pies. San choi bow.

-[groans] -[Dusty] Hot dogs.

-Chicken chow mein. -Oh, great story, Sandra.

Have you met my dog?

I call him Simon ‘cause he doesn't have a family and he shits himself.

I've had just about enough, John.

-Oh, just let me finish, Dad! -[Door opens]

-[Karen] Get out of it, Glen! -[Craig] Glen, no!

-[Glen] I didn't do anything! -Sandra!

Karen?!

-Rebecca?! -Craig?!

-Craig?! -[both] Dad?!

Grand dad?!

Simon?!

Jason?!

-Garden City High? -Yeah. How are ya?

-Good, mate. Hows the family? -Uh oh!

Glen?!

-Shut up! -[Karen] Oh!

Mum! No, no, no, no!

[Karen cries] No!

Just stop, Karen, stop!

I need to say what I need to say.

[emotional music playing]

That night, I almost made it into the bush.

I was almost free.

[Craig] Sandra!

-[dramatic music playing] -[Craig] Sandra!

I got gravy on my t-shirt.

I cant pay the bill! I'm sorry…

Look, I've gotta call Mum. Weve gotta go home.

I'm sorry, Sandra!

Oh, man.

Oh, well.

I couldnt go back there.

She would have made me do calisthenics for the rest of my life!

Why couldnt she see I'm meant to be a country singer, you know?

I'm probably one of the best country singers Australias ever seen.

So, I offered myself to Greasy Steve, in the night.

-[all groan in disgust] -Craig didnt even know I was doing it.

He was too busy having dessert.

Oh, whats 40 dollars more on the end of a 400-dollar bill?

-[laughs awkwardly] You know what I mean? -No.

Oh, God. He was so greasy, I could barely get a grip.

-[all groan in disgust] -Sandra, you, you don't have to do this.

-Just stop. -Its okay, Craig!

Next thing I found out I was pregnant.

We had no money, and now we had a baby to support.

-You, Rebecca. -Oh, this story's fucked!

[Craig] I had an idea.

Everyone was looking for the next big country family band.

So, I talked Sandra into saying that we were husband and wife,

and that Rebecca was our baby.

-What? -We started touring

the edge of the bush. We were a hit!

You used to sit up on the stage and play the triangle.

Everyone loved you.

I knew it! Born to perform!

[Jason] Oh, Glen.

-[Karen] Cut it out mate. -Glen, mate.

-No. -No, thats rotten what you're doing.

-[Karen] Stop it. -Craig] Dude,

-that is really immature, mate. -Stop it. Cut it out.

-Suck it. -[Craig] So, anyway,

we immediately got signed to a record label.

Our first album was going gangbusters. We were about to record a second!

But then somehow it came out that Sandra and I were brother and sister.

Record companies, they thought we were an incest family!

They, they, they wanted their money back!

And all this… for a few spring rolls,

hot dogs, six mini-sausage rolls, san choi bow.

I actually had a chicken Kiev as well with a side of wedges

that I never told anyone about! [sobs]

Craig dont blame yourself. Its all her fault!

Hows this her fault?

You just left in the middle of the night. Didnt say anything!

What?!

No. She made us leave. She kicked us out.

What?!

[dramatic music playing]

-Stop! -[dramatic music stops]

Everyone stop!

This doesn't make sense!

Craig, how did you end up being my Mum's boyfriend?

We had to adopt you out, but I managed to track you down.

I forced my way into Sarahs life after your wog Dad left.

Hey?! I was just saying that I forced my way into your life,

after wog Dad left,

Oh, yeah. You never loved me.

To be fair, you're mostly asleep.

[Glen] So, where does this leave me, Mum?

Is Craig my Dad, or the wog Dad, or what?

Well, I don't know, Glen.

All I know is I'm definitely not your mother.

[cries]

Why did you abandon me?

-[emotional music playing] -We didnt have any choice.

We couldnt go back to Mum, and Dad, you were nowhere to be found!

Where were you?

Where did you go?

I'm sorry, this is all my fault! I love you kids, I do!

I shouldn't have left you with her. She drove us all apart.

Look at us all now. Were broken!

We got nothing! Nothing!

[snores]

Well, she may not have been perfect, but she did give us one thing.

It's a dynamic…

Artform…

Where gymnastics…

And dance…

Come together…

And friendship…

And confidence…

Are fostered…

Yeah, boy!

[all groan]

[Craig] God!

I don't know him, do I?

[gentle country banjo music playing]

♪ When you flew North ♪

♪ I flew South ♪

♪ I got lost in pain and doubt ♪

♪ So the desert and the ocean ♪

♪ And the emu running wild ♪

♪ But then time came to teach me ♪

♪ All I needed I left behind ♪

♪ I'll never stop trying, climbing Flying high in the sky ♪

♪ I'll never stop calling your name ♪

♪ Like a dingo howls at night ♪

♪ I'm just a lonely cockatoo ♪

♪ And I don't know what to do ♪

♪ But I'll never stop trying To fly home to you ♪

♪ I'll never stop trying, climbing Flying high in the sky ♪

♪ I'll never stop calling your name ♪

♪ Like a dingo howls at night ♪

♪ I'm just a lonely cockatoo ♪

♪ And I don't know what to do ♪

♪ But I'll never stop trying To fly home to you ♪

[banjo continues playing]

♪ Now the wind has made me weary ♪

♪ And the sky is turning dark ♪

♪ I still see your face so clearly ♪

♪ Every winter that goes past ♪

♪ And the kookaburra's laughing ♪

♪ At the setting of the sun ♪

♪ Another cold night awaits ♪

♪ Lost from your love ♪

-Get him off! -♪ I'll never stop trying ♪

♪ Climbing, flying high in the sky ♪

♪ I'll never stop calling your name ♪

♪ Like a dingo howls at night ♪

♪ I'm just a lonely cockatoo ♪

♪ And I don't know what to do but I'll Never stop trying to fly home to you ♪

♪ I'll never stop trying, climbing Flying high in the sky ♪

♪ I'll never stop calling your name ♪

♪ Like a dingo howls at night ♪

♪ I'm just a lonely cockatoo ♪

♪ And I don't know what to do but I'll Never stop trying to fly home to you ♪

[continues playing banjo]

[sinister music playing]

[dramatic music playing]

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