Original subtitles

[sombre music playing]

[electronic beeping]

Um, this is a message for the producers of The Voice.

Youve made a big mistake!

I am the X Factor and youve thrown it all away!

Yeah, well you know what?

♪ I'm never gonna stop fighting, writing ♪

♪ Climbing high in the sky-- ♪

Rebecca, what have you done?

Get out, Glen! Get out of my room!

You're showing video of us online! I'm getting millions of messages!

-I'm making a video! -Whats going on in here?

What is going on in here?!

[Craig] I can hear youse out in the bloody street!

-[dog barks] -[Glen] Did you know shes

putting her audition videos online? Theyre all over the internet!

Rebecca, I've asked you to stop the web streams!

Look!

♪ Well this is my time and my-- ♪

Oh, Glen, get out! Get out!

-[Rebecca] Leave me! Get out! -[Glen] ♪ Turd! ♪

♪ Fuckin' turd! ♪

-[Rebecca] Fuck, you're an idiot! -[Glen] I'm tryin to fuckin' use

-the web stream as well! -No! It's my turn!

[Craig] Is the internet on?

Youve got a web stream up. Look at that!

-I haven't! -I told you no web streams, Rebecca!

-Turn it off! -♪ Turd! ♪

-Get out of here! -♪ Turd! ♪

Youve got a web stream up! Youve got a web stream up!

[Rebecca raps] ♪ Fat boy! Fat boy! ♪

Oh, my God!

[Craig] Rebecca!

You can see the full use of my neck there!

God, thisll ruin me, Rebecca. Thats it!

No more web streams. I'm unplugging the internet!

-No, don't! -How do you…

How do you stop it?

-Like, what button? -Don't! No!

-No! No! Don't! -How do you turn it off? That's it!

No more internet. Goodbye!

-[Rebecca cries] -Oh, its still on!

[Craig] Its unstoppable!

Its not human!

Leave it, Craig, I need it!

I've gotta get myself out there! I was born to perform!

And you can suck shit and move out! You're 26 years old!

Yeah, and you're fuckin' 22!

-So? So what?! -[Craig] Just, just

keep your voices down! Your Mums asleep!

Yeah, shes always asleep.

[Craig] I've had a gutful of your attitude, Rebecca.

An absolute gutful, alright? If you're gonna keep acting like this,

you can go back and live with your wog Dad!

[tearily] Dont call him that!

[sighs] You have broken my heart today, Rebecca.

You have broken my heart!

-[door slams] -[Rebecca sobs]

-♪ Turd! Turd! Turd! Turd! ♪ -No! Don't, Glen!

-You're an idiot! -Fuckin' fuck fuck!

-[traffic hums] -[birds tweet]

[clock ticks]

[knock on front door]

[grunts]

Hi, John, how are you today? I'm Simon from Community Health.

No!

Right. Um…

Hello? [taps on window] John?

[tuning up Banjo]

-[microphone feedback] -[continues tuning Banjo]

♪ I love sheep ♪

♪ Sheep bloody sheep ♪

♪ I love 'em in the morning And I love 'em in the street ♪

♪ And I go snip snip snip snip ♪

♪ Clip clip clip clip ♪

♪ Snippety snip snip snip snip ♪

♪ Clip ♪

♪ Going one sheep, two sheep Three sheep ♪

♪ Four sheep five, six and Seven, eight, nine sheep ♪

♪ Clip, clip, snip snip ♪

♪ Snip me bloody sheep! ♪

Oh, that is my favorite!

[laughs] Frank, Janet, hows things?

-Oh, cant complain. -Yeah?

Oh, me legs infected.

-[Rebecca chuckles] -But, otherwise pretty good!

Yeah.

So, whats been going on?

Oh, you know me, just trying to get back to the bush.

[chuckles]

♪ I wish I was pushing Fifty head of cattle ♪

♪ Across the wide-open land ♪

♪ With nothing up above me But the stars and my scallywag ♪

♪ And I'd be sitting by the fire, and be ♪

♪ One sheep, two sheep Three sheep, four sheep ♪

♪ Five sheep, six sheep We got seven sheep, eight nine sheep ♪

[laughs] Oh, its a classic.

Oh, show her, Frank.

Oh, yeah! Oh, we thought we had all your albums, but we found this one.

[sombre music playing]

Oh. Yeah, look, I don't know anything about that.

No, no. [chuckles] Tell you what I do know about. Dingoes!

-[both] Oh! -[Rebecca] Hey?

And kangaroos!

[both] Oh!

What do you call a dingo and a kangaroo?

[both] Kingo!

Kingo! Here we go!

♪ Kingos here and kingos there ♪

♪ Kingo goes everywhere ♪

♪ Kingo, king spin around Spin around, spin around ♪

[CD player whirs]

Alright, hit it, Ryan.

[upbeat music playing]

No, no, no, Mum, Mum, stop!

-[groans] Oh, God! -Stop!

Ah, its not right!

Were running out of time. Were not even up to the clubs yet!

I cant do it!

I'm not going to be ready in time. Theres no way!

Yes, you are, Mum. Come on!

If we want the Calisthenics Studio to survive, we have to win this!

-Yeah. -Calisthenics. What is it?

Its a dynamic artform,

where gymnastics and dance come together,

and friendship and confidence are fostered.

From the top. Lets go!

-Hit it! -[upbeat music playing]

-Oh, look out! -[laughs]

-The talent's arrived, hey?! -Dad!

What about a bit of me? Girls love that, eh?

[Mum and Dad chuckle, whoop]

Oh, come on son. There we go. Yeah!

[all chuckle]

The best family in the world, I reckon!

Come here. Come here!

[Ryan groans]

Thanks for ah, finally letting me in John. Its pretty cold out there.

I didnt bring a jumper like a silly twit.

That is silly.

I knew a man once who lost both arms shifting ice

from Goulburn to Wagga Wagga in 1964… or five.

[shouts] Cant remember!

But its a tough run nonetheless when youve got fifty head of cattle.

No milk, thanks.

Okay. Um, you're actually my first client, John.

Just graduated.

Got any biscuits?

-Not on me. -Bad start!

Okay. Um… just wanted to start with some paperwork.

I was just wondering what an overall goal

for your health and wellbeing might be, John?

Whats a statement we could make about where you'd like to be in five years time?

Not dead.

Right.

No, change it. Dead.

Okay, uh, surely theres something else we can say?

I don't care if I'm dead or not dead in five years time.

-I want the internet in the walls! -Okay, just try and focus, John.

Well leave that one blank.

Um, for the next question, I just wanted to ask you about your wife.

Now shes dead.

No, shes… not. Shes in a home.

Been there for quite a while.

I want the internet in the walls!

Theres a man that can come around and give you the internet.

And he puts it in the floor,

and it comes out into the air, and you can get it in the kitchen and the living room!

Wi-fi.

Wa-fi?

Wi-fi.

Wa-fi?

-Oh, you, you hungry, Simon? -Well, um…

[Simon] Ah…

Ah, John?

What's that?

A big mistake.

Will we clean it up?

-Nah. -No?

[both laughing]

Hey, you know what sucks about watching Dirty Dancing

-with your Mum for the fiftieth time? -What?

-Nothing! -[both laugh]

Alright, I am off to computer class.

You staying here, Ryan, or you gonna head out, have some fun with your friends?

No, hes fine here with me. He loves it here with me.

Hes my little boyfriend.

-[chuckles] Oh, you blokes. -[mobile phone rings]

-Ah! -Whos that, Karen?

-[turns off phone] -Oh, it's just Mum calling from the home.

Just ignore her, love. She doesn't give you a moments peace!

You still let her treat you like a kid.

Yeah, alright, Jason. I let it go. Its off, alright? Its off.

Alright. Well, I'm off too.

-See ya, love rats. -[both laugh]

-Have fun, little perves. -[both laugh]

Telecom. The rise of Communism. Cyclone Tracy.

A day in the life of a dingo.

-The Finance Department. -So, the last time you saw your wife was?

The last time I saw my wife was, um…

-Show me the internet! -[gasps] Alright. Okay, lets have a look.

Um, so, this is the form that I need to fill out.

-Boring. -[Simon sighs]

[John] Oh, what's that?

Oh, its just a video that everyones been posting.

[emotional music playing]

Craig!

Who?

[clip plays on phone]

[suspenseful music playing]

[Karen] I got more popcorn!

Whats that, love? That looks like fun. Whats that?

Craig!

-[thunder rumbles] -[suspenseful music continues]

Craig!

[suspenseful music continues]

[quirky electronic music playing]

♪ Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy ♪

♪ Who's a bad boy? Who's a bad boy? ♪

♪ Yeah. Yeah. Who's a bad boy? ♪

♪ Bad boy, bad boy. ♪

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