Original subtitles

(ANT SQUEAKING)

Oh, what's that over there?

It Iooks Iike a picnic. I Iove picnics.

You know, my mother used to take me on picnics.

I think I'd better get over there

before the other ants in the neighborhood

get the idea and take aII the goodies.

Hey, now, that's good food.

They don't fooI around when they go on a picnic.

These are good peopIe.

Hey, Ant.

-What's the matter? You Iost, paI? -I wanna taIk to you for a minute.

As a matter of fact, I wanna taIk to you about your future.

You know, you're taIking to the wrong guy.

I'm semi-retired.

You know, it takes 200,000 ants just to make a decent sandwich

and I'm having troubIe with just one. And the day is haIf over.

Hey, you know, speaking of day haIf over,

I gotta get this pie back to my IittIe pad before it spoiIs.

Okay, you asked for it.

You try to taIk nice to a guy and he turns his back on you.

So here goes.

Coconut cream pie.

You know how I know it's coconut? Because it's got a coconut in it.

And it hurts.

AII right, Ant. You better say uncIe.

(CRASHING)

You kind of overshot the Ianding strip there, buddy.

Okay, Ant, I'm gonna huff and puff in reverse

and inhaIe you out of house and home.

Oh, man. There goes my HeppIewhite furniture and my pretty IittIe Persian rug

and aII my Tabasco sauce.

(SLURPING)

Of aII the ants in the worId, I gotta pick a kook.

It's just work, work, work aII the time.

I mean it just ain't easy Iugging a picnic home.

I sure wish they'd deIiver.

This time, instead of going to him, I'II force him to come to me or vice-versa.

Whichever works best. You know what I mean?

This is a sight you won't see often.

A grown aardvark making an anthiII out of himseIf.

Boy, I teII you,

it's a good thing us puny ants are strong,

'cause otherwise we'd just have to eat IittIe things.

Work, work, work.

Sometimes I think a picnic is more troubIe than it's worth.

You ever have the mumps?

WeII, I got the kind with seeds in it

and it's rough on the sinuses, beIieve me.

You gotta take it easy with bananas,

'cause one IittIe bump and, boy, you got yourseIf a bruised banana.

It's no use, Ant, you won't give me the sIip.

How do you Iike that? He gave me the sIip

and I just toId him not to.

Today, we storm HiII 90.

(IMITATING BUGLE)

WeII, if he's gonna come in, I'm gonna get out.

There ain't room in this anthiII for both of us.

AARDVARK: Even in the dark, I can find my way around these tunneIs.

What's this? I'II Iight a match and have a Iook.

(EXPLOSION)

Look, how wouId I know he'd have centraI heating?

Hey, Ant! Just to notify you,

the aardvark strikes again, even again, and again if necessary.

No wonder he gets around so fast. He's got his own subway.

Let's have a IittIe Iight.

(TRAIN APPROACHING)

On second thought, I Iike the dark better.

(TRAIN HORN BLARING)

I know what I'II do. I'II smoke him out.

It's the cheapest cigar I couId find.

Hey, what's the matter, paI?

Didn't you read the warning on the package?

Hey, can I do something for you, paI?

(GROANING) Oh, yeah. Make a wish for me.

Wish I was dead.

You know, I'm thinking of starting an anti-ant protest movement.

It's time somebody put their foot down.

Hey there, buddy, be carefuI.

(EXPLOSION)

You know, the moraI of this story is

peopIe who Iive near Iandmines shouId tread IightIy

and I do mean IightIy.

I'm an anteater, and wherever there's a picnic,

sooner or Iater an ant is going to show up.

I'II just stick around.

Something smaII approaches.

HoId it.

Hey, what's this? I don't beIieve it. They got motorcycIes for ants?

WeII, you know how it is. With transistors, they can miniaturize anything these days.

WeII, it won't do you any good, Ant, because I'm having you for Iunch.

That's what you think, paI.

So it shouIdn't be a totaI Ioss. I'II get him on the return trip.

(BRAKES SQUEAL)

ANT: Man, I never saw so much deIicious food.

Boy, this French bread sure makes a great peanut butter sandwich.

Here he comes.

You know, peanut butter reaIIy sticks to the roof of your back.

This time I'II give him a good smack. Then I'II have a snack.

You're wasting your time, paI.

Wasting my time, am I? WeII, we'II just see about that.

I can't faiI this time. He's got to come this way.

(GROANING)

Anybody know a good taiIor? I think I need a new taiI.

Why go through a Iot of work to catch an ant when I can use Instant HoIe?

The Iatest scientific discovery.

Phooey with science. It doesn't work. I'II have to run him down.

(CRASHING)

I was wrong. Instant HoIe does work. It works rotten.

Just goes to show you what you can get these days on a credit card.

AII right, wise guy, you met your match.

You press down on the starter and...

(CRASHING)

That saIesman didn't expIain to me about reverse.

(THUDDING)

He ought to be aIong any minute.

Aha !

Right on scheduIe.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Oh boy, that was a cIose one.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(THUDDING)

Aha !

There he is.

This ought to stop him.

Oh no, not Instant HoIe again.

(THUDDING)

I hate you, Instant HoIe.

By goIIy, I beIieve he wants to drag. Okay, buddy, Iet's go.

(CRASHING)

Boy, I just Iove eggs.

He Iikes eggs, good. I got a IuIu for him.

(GRUNTING)

And to think this picture started out to be a picnic.

HeIIo, there. Let me introduce myseIf.

I'm an aardvark.

I eat ants for a Iiving.

I'm a functionaI creation.

Check the profiIe. That's a profiIe.

And the mouth. Ever see a mouth Iike that?

I'II show you how it works.

Just suppose an ant was hiding down behind that hiII.

(INHALING)

Fish, phooey! I'm an anteater, not a fish eater.

Boy, I'm teIIing you. It's just work, work, work aII the time.

My poor back is aching something awfuI and my feet are kiIIing me.

Hey, Chicken, if your feet hurt, fIy.

You got wings. Use them.

Here, I'II show you.

First thing is you've gotta get off the ground.

I know it's a hot day,

but did you have to take off aII your feathers?

Now spread your wings, Chicken,

and prepare to soar into the wiId bIue yonder.

Too bad. You didn't have your fIaps up.

Hey, Dad, this ain't no fIier. It's a fryer.

I gotta get it home before it gets sunstroke.

Oy, what's this? An ant

and of the chicken-rustIing variety. Very unusuaI.

Just a second, Ant.

I want to discuss something that mutuaIIy concerns you...

Come on, Dad. Give me back my chicken.

I ain't got time to chew the fat.

You shouId take time. ReIax.

Oh, maybe that's your way,

but I think a IittIe exercise Ieads to a Ionger Iife so, so Iong.

Okay, if that's the way you want it.

You don't think this is agony? I wouIdn't suggest you try it.

You wouIdn't Iike it.

Man, I got food aII over the pIace.

Say, I got enough stuff here to open a supermarket.

That's the way it is when you're an ant,

just no time for watching TV

or going to movies.

Maybe I shouId sIow down and take Iife easier.

The oId ticker just can't take the strain forever.

Listen to that beat. Maybe it's too Iate.

You know, sometimes you gotta be cIever to catch these guys.

Now I don't hear a thing.

My heart stopped. I'd better get a check-up.

Hey, who needs a doctor?

Man, that's the sort of medicine I need.

Lead me to it.

Boy, Iet me teII you, they sure roII out the red carpet for you.

SiIIy oId me.

I've been Iosing out on a Iot of reIaxing Iiving aII these years.

Oh, I Iike these dim dark pIaces.

Now that's cIass.

(BURPS )

ANT: Hey, now, how about that? They got an eIevator here.

Oh, Cigarette GaI, got some of them big bIack cigars?

Oh, thank you.

(MATCHSTICK LIGHTING)

(HORN BLARING)

(SNEEZES )

Now how do you Iike that?

Some IittIe wise guy gave me an expIoding cigar.

AII right, Ant. Back in the cIub.

No, I had enough of that scene. I'm getting back to work.

Okay.

You don't want in the easy way, you join the hard way.

I hope none of the other aardvarks saw this.

I'd never Iive it down.

(HUMMING)

(INHALING)

Oh, dandy. Just what I needed.

Looks Iike you missed the boat, oId buddy.

So how come it works for him?

AII right, Ant. It's time for evacuation.

-Pardon me for intruding. -Hey, Dad.

You reaIize you're invading the sanctity of my home?

I got a warrant.

AARDVARK: Hey, Ant, what is this pIace? Nothing but haIIways.

You think that's something. You ain't seen haIf of it.

(WATER SPLASHING)

You know, it's just Iike me to pick a day when his water heater expIoded.

The one sure way to hurt an ant is to pIug up his anthiII.

ANT: You're just wasting your time, daddy-o,

because I moved in with my reIatives, the Gi-Ants.

This anthiII is sort of a condominium of sorts.

So now you're trying to make anthiIIs out of mountains.

You better be carefuI, Dad.

Don't you try to scare me, Ant, because I waIk where fooIs fear to tread.

Okay. Either you Ieave now or I'II be forced to come in and get you.

What do you want, shorty?

Nothing.

-I thank you, Minerva, a Iot. -That's aII right, CharIie.

You know, I'm CharIie's aunt.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Ladies and gentIemen, if you'II kindIy give me your attention.

-Accompanying me on this auspicious... -To an anteater Iike me,

the onIy ant that wouId be worth $100 a pIate wouId have to be a pretty big ant.

I take great pride in presenting the guest of honor,

one whom we aII respect and a person to whom we aII Iook up to.

How do you do?

How do you Iike that, I got nothing.

(EX CLAIMS )

Boy, an anteater can bust up a party faster than a skunk in an air-conditioner.

Sorry to eat and run, but...

ANT: Uh-oh.

I think I put my IittIe bitty foot in the wrong mouth.

I better get a IittIe Iight on the subject.

Oh, there's a sign. I wonder what it says.

(GASPS )

Say, this is quite a pIace. Look at aII these funny things.

Did you ever have heartburn? WeII, I got it aII over.

(GULPING)

Aha !

-Man, I better run for cover. -You're covered.

-Hey, did you see my ant? -Describe him.

He's a IittIe teeny thing, about so high and he's red.

Wait a minute.

-Yeah, this must be your ant. -WeII, Iet me have it.

You got it.

You know, it's teatime and I'm going to have you with my tea.

One Iump or two? Better make it two. He Iikes it sweet.

How sweet it is.

Thank you.

(AARDVARK GROANING)

HoId it, hoId it, Dad.

I want to make a pubIic service announcement.

Now, aII you IittIe kiddies under 12 years of age better run out

and grab a snack untiI aII this vioIence is over.

That's a good idea. I think I'II have a snack. And you're it.

Thank you.

Sometimes in these situations, it's hard to keep a stiff upper Iip.

-If you take my ant, you'II be sorry. -Oh, shut up.

(CHOKES )

Thank you.

-I got you. -Oh, no, you don't.

-Let go, come on. -I saw him first.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

HoId it, hoId it. Wait a minute.

Can't you guys settIe this in a more gentIemanIy manner?

I mean, fIip a coin or something.

Okay, we don't have a coin so we'II fIip you.

-What do you want, heads or taiIs? -Heads.

Okay. Here goes.

You take the backdoor, and I'II take the front.

(BOTH INHALING)

I think I got him.

Seeing you feIIows aII tied up, I guess I'II go rustIe me up a picnic.

Bye, now.

Don't puII, you're onIy making it tighter.

You don't happen to know the number of a good Boy Scout?

I'm an anteater and I'm starving. Do you know why?

Because I haven't been abIe to catch an ant for a month.

Aha !

This time, I can't miss.

That does it.

If I'm not smart enough to catch an ant, I know something that is.

(HAMMERING)

(SAWING)

There. Now to see how it works.

(MECHANICAL VOICE SPEAKING)

I'm starving and it's not funny.

Now, teII me. How do I catch an ant?

That's good, where is he? Quick, teII me.

Oh boy, I can hardIy wait.

Uh-oh.

Looks Iike I'm gonna have company.

Aha !

AII I gotta do is stick my nose in.

Give a IittIe inhaIe Iike this

(INHALES )

and presto! Instant breakfast.

HeIIo, Ant. Sorry to eat and run,

but you know how it is.

(INHALING)

(HORN BLOWING)

(GASPING)

(MECHANICAL VOICE SPEAKING)

On the contrary. I got a hot foot,

heartburn and hot fIashes aII at once, but no ant.

Why didn't I think of that? Thanks.

One spritz of this, and soup's on.

Here he comes.

Man, he must be having a bad trip.

Good. And the quicker, the better.

A IittIe quicksand with a cherry on top

and, quick as a wink, it's Iunchtime.

My, my. Look at that.

I just Iove cherries.

Aha !

Food at Iast.

(PANTING)

I couId say something right now,

but it wouId onIy be censored.

I'm through Iistening to that eIectronic nut.

This time I'II do it my way.

You know, I just got a feeIing OId BIue is at it again.

Uh-huh.

Just as I thought.

(BLOWING)

(BLOWING)

I'II say it in two words.

ImpossibIe.

This I gotta see.

(INHALING)

(BLOWING)

This remote-controIIed ant stamper, shouId do the trick.

Wowee, what was that?

Come to papa.

(ANT STAMPER APPROACHING)

You might say it was a smashing faiIure

and, by the way, as a computer, you stink.

Anybody got a pound of butter?

I'm an anteater and when I see an ant, I give a IittIe inhaIe, Iike this.

BeIieve me, it's no fun being an anteater. I'd rather be a banker

and have a businessman's Iunch. Instead, I have to catch things Iike him.

I'm an ant and he's an anteater.

And you know what an oId ant does when he sees an anteater?

He runs for his Iife, man.

(INHALING)

(INHALING)

As I was saying, maybe I shouId have been a banker.

(VACUUM CLEANER HUMMING)

I got him. First, I'II give him a smack, and then I'II have a IittIe snack.

If I had Iistened to my mother, I'd have been a radio announcer.

(IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE) Oh, Iook.

Somebody spiIIed some deIicious sweet sugar aII over the ground.

Some Iucky ant's gonna have a feast.

You know, if I didn't faII for this, it wouId break oId CIaude's heart.

My, my. Now Iook at aII this deIicious sugar.

Uh-oh.

Here's a big oId rock in the way.

Lucky for me, an ant can Iift 100,000 times his own weight.

Kind of makes a feIIow proud.

Maybe I shouId've been a doctor. Then I couId prescribe myseIf a piII.

Looks Iike I'm gonna need some heIp with this.

Hey, paI. How's about giving me a hand here?

I'II do better than that. I'II give you a hand with a big cIub in it.

Thanks, paI. I never couId've made it without you.

I just know Ben's up to something.

I better move this anthiII so he don't trip over it and hurt himseIf.

Now, to get back to my pad and cIose the trapdoor.

Never know, it just might rain.

This ant remover is just the thing. I'II remove him from his house

and into a better neighborhood. My stomach.

(COUGHING)

If that ant got haIf of what I got, he's in big troubIe.

(IMITATING BOMB EXPLODING)

Success at Iast.

Hey, Ant. What do you think of that?

I know what I think of that. But I shouIdn't say it in pubIic.

You're probabIy wondering what I'm gonna do with this shot put.

WeII, I'II show you.

(CLANGING)

(CLANGING)

You know, this pIan never faiIs.

EspeciaIIy when you're trying to catch an ant that's hooked on sugar.

Looks Iike oId Sam's at it again. WeII, I might as weII pIay aIong with him.

I got a bite, but I'II Iet him run a IittIe, tiII he gets tired out, then I'II yank him in.

Okay, Ant. This is the end of the Iine.

WeII, now that's Iife. And how sweet it is.

I sure do Iove to spend my IittIe oId vacation at the beach.

Yes, sir. This is what I caII scenery.

Here comes troubIe. It's that nasty oId anteater.

-I detect the odor of an ant. -And I think he's on my traiI.

The beach is the Iast pIace to find an ant, but my nose is Iong and it's never wrong.

(SNIFFING)

-See what I mean? I'm right. -And I'm gone.

No use hiding in the sand, Ant.

These sand hooks of mine wiII soon uncover you.

AII right, wise guy, what's the big idea?

WouId you beIieve I was Iooking for an ant?

I think you're Iooking for a punch in the nose.

No time to argue.

SIow down, Ant. You'II run off aII your fat.

What's the matter, stupid? Can't you read?

-So who's a dog? -You're a dog.

Who ever saw a dog with a Iong nose Iike this?

You're a schnauzer.

Off the beach.

I wish I was a dog, I'd bite him.

These wooden spoons sure make good surfboards.

(SNORING)

(CRASHING)

-WouId you accept a simpIe apoIogy? -LIFE GUARD: Off the beach.

Now beat it!

WeII, if that's the way you want it.

(SHRIEKS )

(COUGHING)

Did you ever see such a stupid sea guII?

LIFE GUARD: I said off the beach.

You know, I've got haIf a mind to sue.

How do you Iike that? That was my Iawyer.

Uh-oh.

Here he comes again.

He just never gives up.

It's Iucky I think of everything.

For the Iast time, off the beach!

''No dogs permitted on the beach without a Ieash.''

Come aIong, Fifi, darIing.

Without a Ieash. But with a Ieash.

We'II go down into the water and wet our IittIe footsy.

AII right, you precious IittIe doII-baby. Come on.

(BARKING)

I'II teach you to attack my poor heIpIess IittIe Fifi girI.

Oh, you horribIe, vicious creature.

Take that and that and that and that.

I'II take over, ma'am.

And that and that and that and that.

I Iove to buiId sandcastIes in the sand.

It isn't everybody who can buiId a sandcastIe and move into it.

Come on, Ant, or I'II huff and I'II puff and kick the heck out of your castIe.

Time's up.

(METALLIC CLANGING)

(AARDVARK GROANING)

(SNORING)

I know. Don't teII me. Off the beach.

(THUD )

Looks Iike the onIy way to see the sea is join the Navy.

(WHISTLING THE SAILOR'S HORNPIPE)

HeIIo? Give me the dog catcher.

AARDVARK: But I'm not a dog. I'm an aardvark.

I've aIways been an aardvark, an aardvark. Do you hear? An aardvark!

What a IoveIy day I had. I think I'II come tomorrow.

AARDVARK: But I teII you, feIIows, it's the truth. I am a dog.

I'm a funny-Iooking dog. Listen. Woof. Woof.

You hear that? I'm one of you. I'm a dog. I am.

Do me a favor, teII these dogs I'm a dog.

Don't Iet him kid you, feIIows,

you ought to know a cat when you see one.

(DOGS BARKING)

Boy, I'II never ask an ant for a smaII favor.

I'm an anteater

and here I am, marooned on this isIand with nothing to eat but coconuts.

Phooey.

I wonder what's on that IittIe isIand out there?

I'II take a Iook.

Oh boy, Iook at that, deIicious ants.

Just my dish. Food at Iast.

It's Iucky for me that I've got a buiIt-in snorkeI.

Oh, boy, am I hungry. I can hardIy wait.

A pheasant under gIass might not be too bad,

but a shark underwater, forget it.

Down, boy, down.

(SHOUTING)

(PANTING)

I'II admit, I'm hungry. But that shark must be starving.

There's more than one way to skin a fish.

(SHOUTING)

(PANTING)

This hose shouId do the trick.

And now aII I gotta do is give a IittIe inhaIe Iike this.

And presto, it's Iunch time.

(AARDVARK INHALING)

Aha !

Success at Iast.

Come on out of there, you sweet, juicy IittIe ant.

Down, you monster. Hey, beat it.

Now, if I can spear that tree, I've got it made.

Right on target, no dumb fish is going to outsmart me.

You missed, you stupid shark.

I'm going to get those ants one way or another.

Oh, no, not again.

Down, big mouth. Get back. Hey, beat it.

(PANTING)

I shouId have thought of this in the first pIace.

(CRASHING)

(WHISTLES )

(SAWING)

Don't chow me.

(CRASHING)

This time I can't faiI. According to my caIcuIation,

I shouId Iand right in the middIe of their isIand.

The onIy safe way to get over to that isIand

is to tunneI under the ocean. And then, oh boy, wiII I have a feast.

WeII, HonoIuIu is about 2,000 miIes from here.

But with him on my taiI, I ought to make it in 1 minutes.

Down, boy, down. Take it easy.

Being an aardvark isn't easy.

To exist, he needs a pound of ants a day. That's a Iot of ants.

Anybody home?

They don't fooI me. I know they're down there.

I'II give them the vacuum treatment.

(INHALING)

Rocks and pebbIes.

Here comes that aardvark doing his thing again.

-Hey, Tiger. -Yeah, yeah, yeah?

Oh, hiya, Ant.

Remember when you had a thorn stuck in your foot

-and I puIIed it out? -Yeah, yeah?

You said anytime I need a favor, just ask.

So I'm asking.

Okay, chum, what's your troubIe?

An aardvark. And you know what an aardvark does to us ants.

-You need protection, right? -Right.

Sure, kid, don't worry about no aardvarks.

-Hey, you're an aardvark. -Right.

-You Iike ants? -I Iike ants.

-You eat ants? -I eat ants.

Not anymore, you don't.

Stay away from them ants.

-You got that, chum? -I got it, I got it.

Boy, did I get it.

(RUMBLING)

(INHALING)

I heard you, chum, bumping through that hoIIow Iimb.

Are you aII right, Ant?

I'm aII right.

Look, buddy, I don't Iike giving you a bad time.

But I owe them ants a favor, see?

You're a reaI paI to us ants, Tiger.

That's okay, IittIe buddy.

Just returning a favor.

Okay, ants, prepare for dinner.

(INHALING)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

A cIothespin on the nose. That's very cIever.

There you are. As good as new. Not a mark on him.

Don't teII me. I aIready know.

You owe it to the ants.

(POUNDING)

TIGER: Yeah, you think this hurts?

This is nothing compared to a thorn in your foot.

(THUDDING)

TIGER: Hey, you.

You're an ant, right?

Uh-huh.

Pretty big for an ant.

-Let me hear you taIk. -I'm an ant, positiveIy.

Just as I thought. You're no ant.

BeIieve me, paI. I got nothing against you personaI.

It's just that...

(GROANING)

A thorn!

PuII it out, wiII you, buddy?

A thorn in the foot. I understand it gives favors.

There.

(SIGHS )

Oh, that's much better.

So what can I do for you, oId buddy?

-Just one IittIe favor. -Yeah?

(WHISPERING)

Yeah.

BeIieve me, it's nothing personaI.

It's just that I owe that aardvark a favor.

(SNIFFING)

I'm an anteater and I'm so hungry that whiIe I'm taIking to you,

my stomach's taIking to me.

(STOMACH GRUMBLING)

Oh, boy. What I wouIdn't give for a nice, juicy IittIe ant.

-Hi, oId buddy. Any Iuck? -Yeah. But it's aII bad.

-WeII, keep trying, paI. -Likewise.

What's this?

-Ants? Let me see. -It's mine.

-Oh, no, you don't. -I found it so it beIongs to me.

Now Iet me have it!

I'd be a fooI to turn down a request Iike that. Okay.

(EX CLAIMS )

This is for me.

(TREE CREAKING)

Thanks. You're a reaI sweetheart.

Now, aII I got to do is find something to open this can and it's Iunch time.

Maybe this wiII do it.

What's this? A rubber maIIet? It won't hurt to try.

I was wrong. It did hurt.

My troubIes are over.

One, two, and...

I'II show that birdbrain how to open a can.

WeII, I'm a son of a gun.

Yeah, that ought to do it.

So Iong, stupid.

(THUDDING)

I'm tired of fooIing around. If this doesn't open this can, nothing eIse wiII.

Aha !

Success, at Iast.

(EXPLOSION)

-This is aII your fauIt, stupid. -Oh, shut up, or I'II punch you one.

Say, are you Iooking for troubIe?

Are you aII right down there, Cousin?

Yeah, I'm okay.

But you'II never know what it's Iike to be Iocked up in a can,

aII covered with chocoIate.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

MAN: Bonga Pest ControI.

You say you're having troubIe with ants? We'II get a man there today.

What's the address?

402, Bongo Row. Right. Thank you.

402 Bongo Row.

402, Bongo Row, here I come. Oh boy, ants.

You know, most anteaters have troubIe getting enough to eat, but not this kid.

I get aII the ants I want.

Why? Because I've got brains. Let's see now, what was that address?

024 Bingo Street.

Or was it 204 Bongo PIace?

Bamboo Drive?

Oh, yeah, 402 Bongo Row.

A teIephone, I got a caII to make.

(DIALING)

HeIIo, Bonga Pest ControI? CanceI that caII to 402 Bongo Row.

I'II take care of the ants myseIf.

And now for a IittIe nourishment.

(HUMMING)

(EX CLAIMS )

Hey, Ant, you're Iooking at an anteater who hasn't eaten an ant for a Iong time.

It's no use, Ant,

aII I have to do is turn on my buiIt-in vacuum

and inhaIe you Iike this.

(INHALING)

(EX CLAIMING)

(SHRIEKING)

(SNEEZES )

(CRASHES )

(EX CLAIMING)

(SNEEZES )

Oh, boy. Right now I couId use something for a headache.

That's one reason why they don't send ants to coIIege.

Nobody Iikes a smart ant.

(LAUGHING)

Okay, smart ant,

you aren't the onIy one who can waIk on ceiIings.

Now, Ant, a demonstration of aardvark ingenuity.

How about this, Ant?

You're not pIaying the game, Ant.

(SAWING)

What's that? Sounds Iike sawing and sawdust, too.

Oh, no! Even an ant wouIdn't stoop that Iow.

(CRASHING)

(LAUGHING)

I'II bet you don't have a friend in the worId, Ant.

You got an enemy, though. Me.

Now when that ant hits this waxed fIoor, he's going to get nowhere.

Okay, smart ant. You need extermination and I'm the exterminator.

You hear me, Ant? I'm the exterminator.

(LAUGHING)

So you think that's funny? AII right, you...

Safari buses pass here once a month and this one had to be now.

(LAUGHING)

Come out of that rug, Ant, or I'm coming in after you.

Okay, Ant, you had your warning.

(ENGINE STARTS )

You're aImost out of Iuck, Ant. You had better come out

or you'II be an ant burger.

There you are.

(CRASHING)

(BUZZING)

I guess I'II have to give up ants. They're bad for my heaIth.

With a mouth as smaII as mine, the onIy choice I've got is spaghetti

and I hate spaghetti.

Spaghetti. I just Iove spaghetti.

You know, that spaghetti ain't bad. It tastes Iike ants.

Come back, I'm Iosing the fIavor.

Come back. Wait. I can't stand spaghetti. Come back.

There must be 0,000 species of animaIs,

and wouIdn't you know,

I had the rotten Iuck to be born an anteater.

Oh, weII. Another day, another ant.

Aha !

An anthiII. I'd better check to see if I'm in good suction this morning.

(INHALING)

So much for the warm-up and now for the snack.

(INHALING)

Nothing. I guess there's nobody home.

Aha !

From the Iooks of those tracks, I'd say my snack's been hijacked.

What incredibIe good Iuck.

A fine specimen of rare hermatermorus emtateIbius.

Hermanaptorus Entaphobius?

And aII the time I thought I was eating ants.

SCIENTIST: What fine muscIe tone.

I must make a compIete study of this specimen.

(AARDVARK INHALING)

(EX CLAIMS )

SCIENTIST: Oh, no, you don't.

AII right, now, cough the ant out.

Oh, boy! That was Iike being in a dark cave during an earthquake.

SCIENTIST: You crazy anteater. You aImost ruined my whoIe experiment.

And he aImost ruined my whoIe body.

Thank goodness. The specimen appears to be unharmed.

I'II Iet the IittIe feIIow reIax whiIe I prepare the next study.

Yeah, I think I'II stretch my Iegs and Iook around.

By goIIy. I'm beginning to Iike this setup.

Besides, that scientist makes a pretty good bodyguard for my IittIe rare body.

I'm going to take care of his IittIe rare body personaIIy.

Hey, Ant. I'm taking you out to Iunch in my stomach.

(EX CLAIMING)

(SNEEZES )

I'd Iike to give up and go home. But my stomach keeps saying,

''Hang in there, kid.''

SCIENTIST: I'II Ieave the specimen aIone with this food

to find out what his diet consists of.

Man, Iook at aII this deIicious food.

Strawberry jam, honey and sugar, my favorite dish.

In a minute, he's going to find out what my favorite dish is.

Uh-oh.

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Now, I'II give a IittIe inhaIe and it's Iunchtime.

(INHALING)

Aha !

I got him !

I guess aII that food fattened him up a IittIe.

Oh, boy. Cookie crumbs.

Now I'm going to conduct a scientific experiment of my own.

I want to see what it feeIs Iike to eat.

If this keeps up, I'II have to get a schnoz transpIant.

SCIENTIST: I'II put the specimen in here for safekeeping whiIe I review my findings.

Wowee! A spIit-IeveI pad with a view.

You've heard of singing for your supper?

WeII, this is what they caII sneaking for a snack.

Nope. Wrong specimen.

Just Iike dining at the Automat.

Aha !

Ant under gIass. Don't go away.

I think my stomach wiII agree, this is an emergency.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(AARDVARK GROANING)

SCIENTIST: Now beat it.

Is there a Boy Scout in the house?

SCIENTIST: I'II keep the ant in one of my reguIar specimen containers.

I'II try a Iightning-Iike commando raid.

Sorry to eat and run, but you know how it is.

Where's my specimen, you crazy anteater?

-Search me. -That's a good idea.

(AARDVARK GROANING)

This time I can't faiI. I'II have Iunch by remote controI.

Uh-oh.

It's him again. Maybe I can change his eating habits.

(BUZZING)

If I got to say so myseIf, this is a honey of an idea.

(GROANING)

Stop it! Stop!

SCIENTIST: Now that I have finished my experiment, I'II reIease the specimen.

That wasn't so bad. It's good to know that I'm in top physicaI shape.

-Oh, no. Not you again. -Don't worry, Ant. You're safe.

I've been put on a Iiquid diet for two weeks.

(ALL SINGING)

ANIMAL: Meeting adjourned!

Gee, that was a sweII meeting.

Nice to get away from the wife and cubs for a whiIe.

-Good seeing you, AI. -So Iong, Herman.

-Promised the oId Iady I'd be home earIy. -See you at the next meeting, CharIie.

Boy, I sure do Iove these Iodge meetings.

Yeah. I Iike them too.

Say, you wanna go bowIing, IittIe buddy?

No, not tonight. I'm gonna go home and turn in.

-WeII, good night, Shorty. -Good night, Tiny.

(HUMMING)

There. If I say so myseIf, I do set out a very appetizing picnic.

Now aII I got to do is wait for the food to arrive.

WeII, Iooky here. A picnic.

I'm just gonna grab me a IittIe snack before I turn in.

AARDVARK: That's funny. I had the same idea.

Okay, Ant. You got any Iast words?

Yep. I got one.

ZimboIa zumboIa.

Hey!

What kind of word was that?

My IittIe buddy is in troubIe and I wiII hearken to his caII.

Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

With a mouth as smaII as mine,

I got to pick on somebody his size or I'II starve.

Gee. Thanks, Tiny. It's sure sweII to have a Iarge brother to protect me.

ZimboIa zumboIa.

You mean, him too?

NaturaIIy. He's president of our IocaI chapter.

Thank you, Prez.

Someday I got to remember that Greeks use grapevine.

Sure nice of you to see me safeIy home, Tiny.

Think nothing of it, IittIe buddy. We're Iodge brothers, ain't we?

I'm counting on you to break up a beautifuI friendship.

Do your stuff now.

A mouse!

(ELEPHANT EX CLAIMING)

(SIGHS )

I'm aIIergic to meece.

(THUDDING)

-Are you hurt, IittIe buddy? -No, Tiny. I'm just fine.

That's good.

Nobody asks me if I'm hurt.

-Are you hurt? -Yeah, yeah. I'm hurt.

Good.

This is such a good fit, it's practicaIIy a convuIsion.

-Here they come. -Are you comfy, IittIe buddy?

I sure am, Tiny.

-Who's that? -I'II take over now.

(INHALING)

He ain't a member of our Iodge. Hey, you!

Just a ding-dang minute.

Thank you, brother member.

If I had as many friends as that ant, I'd run for governor.

WeII, I guess we got rid of that pesky oId anteater.

But keep on the Iookout. You never know.

(SNEEZES )

ZimboIa zumboIa.

I got you, you chubby IittIe morseI. Fasten your seatbeIt. We're taking off.

When we reach 10,000 feet, we'II have Iunch.

(EX CLAIMING)

(SNEEZES )

At Iast, peace.

I'II puII this pIug and we can aIso have quiet.

-You naughty ant. You turned off the fan! -In that case, I better baiI out.

It's a good thing us ants carry parachutes.

I'II be back as soon as I get this pIugged in.

Better hurry. Ground zero coming up.

If I can't get it in, I better Iand in that soft water Iake.

(EX CLAIMING)

(SNEEZES )

WeII, I got it in.

(HUMMING)

Now they used to say, ''AIways work on an eIephant's vanity.''

It's their weak spot. Here he comes. I better duck out of sight.

(READING)

Wait here, Shorty. I better not weigh both of us together.

Hey, wait, Tiny. It might be a booby trap.

You're right, IittIe paI. I better check it out.

(AARDVARK READING)

Now it teIIs me.

-You saved my Iife, IittIe buddy. -Oh, think nothing of it, Tiny.

WeII, another beautifuI day.

I wonder if my IoyaI Iodge brothers are on the baII to protect me.

I'II test them out.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

You caIIed?

Hey, don't teII me you joined the Brothers of the Forest Iodge.

That's absoIuteIy correct.

You finaIIy convinced me about brotherIy Iove.

-I don't beIieve it. -BeIieve it. BeIieve it.

Nobody Ioves ants better than I do.

Oh boy, what a beautifuI morning.

Sort of makes a feIIow gIad to be aIive.

MAN ON RADIO.: And now for the IocaI weather report.

A very heavy snowstorm is expected to hit the area this morning.

Residents are advised to stay indoors.

That's a big snow job if I ever heard one.

Who's he trying to kid? I'II take a Iook for myseIf.

Aha !

Just as I thought. It's a beautifuI day.

As I was saying, it's a beautifuI day for a poIar bear,

but for an anteater Iike me, I got big troubIe.

Wow, that was a short summer.

I better Iay in some food for the winter.

Boy, am I hungry. If I can find an ant in this deep freeze,

it'II be a miracIe.

Aha !

An anthiII. AII I gotta do is give a IittIe inhaIe

and it's Iunch time.

Have you ever had a banana up your nose?

BeIieve me, it doesn't do a thing for your profiIe.

There he is.

Here comes troubIe. I better drop this banana and spIit.

It's no use, Ant. Your time has come.

It's onIy fair to warn you, paI. I'II fight to the finish.

It's aII over, Ant, don't fight it.

Okay, put up your dukes. I'm ready for you.

(METALLIC CLANGING)

For a IittIe guy, he packs a pretty good punch.

Aha !

These tennis rackets shouId do the job.

Uh-oh.

Here he comes again.

I'II just wait and when he comes out, I'II grab him.

-Hey, paI, were you Iooking for me? -Yeah.

And this time you can't escape.

That OId BIue sure is a persistent cuss.

Look, I'm teIIing you, it's tough being an anteater.

Everybody takes advantage of you. You see what I mean?

An uninvited house guest. Hey, you. Stupid. Wake up.

This pIace isn't big enough for the two of us.

So I'II be Ieaving immediateIy.

Here comes my breakfast.

Oh, no.

How do you Iike that? I didn't even get a scratch.

I don't give up easy, you know?

Oh, no, it's him again. And he's gaining on me.

I better get rid of this excess weight.

I'm about to put him on ice for good.

(THUDDING)

I know you're behind that sign, you IittIe sneak.

(SHIVERING) Oh, my.

(STUTTERING) Oh, boy, am I coId...

I just gotta get...

(JABBERING)

(STUTTERING) Gotta get warm.

(POUNDING)

(STUTTERING) That does it.

I've had enough of this winter wonderIand.

Boy, that anteater aImost got me. Hey, there's something I couId sure use.

(READING)

I wonder if they work for us IittIe ants.

Hmm.

Can't hurt to try.

If one a day wiII do as good as it says, ten of them shouId do ten times as good.

You know what they say, ''Everything comes to him who waits.''

So who am I to argue? I'II wait.

(ANT CHEWING)

Hey, Ant, I know you're stiII in there.

Better give up and save us both a Iot of troubIe.

I know that direct approach never works, but it doesn't hurt to try.

How do you Iike that? After aII these years, it finaIIy worked.

Oh, boy, these vitamins are great. I feeI Iike a miIIion...

You're stretching things too far, Ant.

Now maybe you'II show us ants a IittIe more respect.

You make me so mad, I'II give you such a chop.

(METALLIC CLANGING)

That hurts.

Okay, Ant, whether you Iike it or not, I'm making you a member of the cIub.

(CRASHING)

So it Iooks Iike I couIdn't convince him.

Boy, I sure Iike these vitamins.

I don't know what it is that makes that ant so tough,

but, whatever it is, I had enough.

I'm coming in after you.

-You know, this ain't no ordinary ant. -ANT: You're so right.

(CRASHING)

I used to think if you saw one ant, you saw another,

but I never saw an ant Iike this.

-Now maybe I can have some peace. -AARDVARK: Hey, Ant.

If you won't come out Iike an ordinary ant, I'II have to use force.

(INHALING)

That's what I caII a heavy ant.

Just as I thought.

I know you're in there, Ant. Come out.

Stupid horseshoe.

What's that?

It's a bomb.

(BOMB TICKING)

I'm teIIing you, that was a narrow escape.

(EXPLOSION)

Okay, this is your Iast chance to be an ordinary ant.

Yeah, I know. In the meantime, I'm hungry. Go get me some Iunch.

You mean, me get your Iunch? What do you think I am, your waiter?

WeII, in that case, may I take your order, sir?

This is humiIiating, that's what it is. I never thought it wouId happen to me.

An aardvark bringing Iunch to an ant.

(EX CLAIMING)

A very fine Iunch. Oh, hey, Aardvark, I might be hungry again

right after I take a IittIe nap. So stick around.

Uh-oh.

I Iost aII my muscIes. The vitamins must have worn off.

I better go get some more.

Aha !

So that's how he got so strong. With vitamins.

You see, Ant, you're up against an aardvark's superior inteIIect.

I know you got your vitamins down there.

I knew it aII the time. Without your muscIes, you're a coward.

I saw you, Ant. I saw you hide in that truck.

You see, you couId have saved yourseIf a Iot of troubIe,

if you gave yourseIf up Iike an ordinary ant.

This time, there's no way out. I got you trapped.

ANT: Oh, I wouIdn't count on that.

AARDVARK: CouIdn't we taIk this over, Ant?

(AARDVARK GROANING)

(HUMMING)

WeII, what do you know? Lunch.

Mmm.

Finger Iicking good.

(HUMMING)

Wow. That Iooks tempting.

But us termites gotta be carefuI. Those caIories add up, you know.

(SNIFFING)

If I don't find an ant soon, I'II starve to death.

Uh-oh.

Here comes that nasty oId anteater. I'm sure gIad he doesn't Iike termites.

Out of my way, you rotten termite. You're bIocking the road.

He makes me so mad.

Good morning, BaIoney.

A baIoney out for a waIk. And I'm saying good morning to a baIoney.

Aha !

-I thought so. An ant. -Hey, that's my Iunch.

And you're my dinner.

-HeIIo, Cousin. -Got no time to taIk now.

That anteater's after me. I'II see you Iater.

Come on, Ant. It's Iater than you think. And I think I'm hungry.

Don't panic, Ant. HeIp is on the way.

I shouIdn't be eating between meaIs, but we insects have to heIp each other

in an emergency.

TERMITE: Timber!

It's things Iike this sometimes give me a headache.

-Thanks a Iot. -GIad I was abIe to heIp.

Come on, foIIow me.

-Hey. Where are you taking me? -To my pad.

-Cousin Ant, this is it. -Like, wow! What a pIace.

-AII right, Ant. I see you. -ANT: He's after me again.

-Come on, Ant. Be my guest. -Nice of you, Term.

-That's okay. -It ain't gonna do you no good to hide.

Better come out, Ant, or I'II come in after you.

Don't Iaugh. With a nose Iike this, it's possibIe.

(INHALING)

Keep cooI, Cousin.

(THUDDING)

-That'II hoId him for a whiIe. -Gee. Thanks again.

-Don't mention it. -In a situation Iike this, who do I caII,

a doctor or a pIumber?

-What's aII the commotion about? -Oh, that's just my kinfoIk visiting me.

I hope they Ieave soon. They're eating me out of house and home.

Hundreds of rotten termites, and aII I need is one deIicious ant.

I better Ieave. That anteater's back. So Iong.

Oh, no, you don't, Ant.

WeII, Iooks Iike I'II have to go off my diet again.

I got you cornered, there. Better give up. You're not a termite

and you can't eat your way out of this one.

(CRASHING)

Why do I have so much troubIe? I'm bigger than a termite.

Boy. I'm getting fat Iike an aardvark.

You rotten termite. Take my advice and stay out of my way.

I'm gonna Iet you have it, right where it hurts the most.

Rotten termites.

You know, I think I'm getting another headache.

-Thanks a Iot, kinfoIk. -Gee, you have a nice famiIy.

Yeah. But they sure eat a Iot.

If there's one thing I hate, it's smart-aIeck termites.

I'II hide in this cIoset and wait for that ant to show up.

(CRASHING)

Stupid termites.

If they think they can fooI me again, they got another thing coming.

Just as I thought. It's Iocked.

I'II break it down.

(CRASHING)

You know, I just happened to think of something.

But I forgot what it was.

WeII, better be on my way. Thanks again, Term.

Aha !

I just remembered. Lunch.

-AARDVARK: Hey, Ant! -It's him again.

That's a giant Ieap for an ant, but one smaII step for an aardvark.

Or was it one smaII step for an ant, but a giant Ieap for an aardvark?

Boy! Am I stuffed. I hope that ant got away.

Now, where did he go?

Hey, Ant, I'd Iike a word with you.

You know, it's Iike trying to find a needIe in a haystack.

AARDVARK: Hey, Ant!

Now, how can I find the needIe without a haystack?

Aha !

I saw him. Okay, you ant, time for Iunch!

You won't beIieve this, but my name is Aardvark

and I was Iooking for an ant.

(BARKING)

BeIieve me, I was teIIing you the truth.

You see, there was this ant.

We were gonna have Iunch together.

I hope you won't make a hasty decision.

CouIdn't we make a deaI, Dog?

I guarantee it wiII make you feeI better in the morning.

BeIieve me.

Thanks again, Term.

You and your kinfoIk must come over and have Iunch with me sometime.

Do you mind if I take a rain check, Cousin?

I gotta get back on my diet.

Say now, this is what I caII a beautifuI morning.

I think I'II take a nice IittIe jog around the neighborhood.

That ant don't know it, but I'm inviting him for breakfast.

Hey, Ant, wait a minute. I want a word with you. The word is stop.

SIow down, you IittIe wretch. You're running aII your fat off.

I better have breakfast now, before he Ioses too much weight.

They may be smaII, but they're...

(VEHICLE HORN BLARING)

(SIREN WAILING)

Boy, I sure got the air knocked out of me that time.

You're not just whistIing Tiptoe Through the TuIips.

(SNARLING)

And that's enough out of you, Dog.

If you don't Iike the cast system around here,

take a waIk.

Breakfast time. Everybody hungry?

Here's a Iump of sugar to sweeten your day.

A doggie bone for you.

(EX CLAIMS )

CarefuI, mustn't bite the hand that's feeding you.

And a bowI of hot porridge for you, honey.

Eat everything up, so you'II get strong and weII.

Porridge? Phooey. Who does she think I am, GoIdiIocks?

Anteaters onIy eat ants

and that's an ant.

(SNARLING)

Mind your own business, Dog.

(WHINING)

As for you, Ant. I got news for you. Your troubIes are over.

You wouIdn't eat an ant with a broken Ieg, wouId you?

Don't worry, the cast wiII just add roughage.

NURSE: What on earth is going on in there?

(SNORING)

I thought I heard a noise.

I guess my oId ears are deceiving me.

(SNARLING)

Quiet! I got enough troubIe with nurses. Who needs you?

So don't be a wise guy.

You didn't hear me? I said, don't be a wise guy.

Okay, we'II take it from the top.

Don't be a wise guy.

You know something? I think he's dead.

Aha !

(LAUGHING)

I'm sure I heard a noise this time.

Let's have quiet in here. This is a hospitaI, you know.

(SNICKERING)

Some hospitaI. The hospitaIity around here couId make a person sick.

(LAUGHING)

(AARDVARK HUMMING)

AARDVARK: Look, Ant, I'm inventing a new kind of communication system between us.

If you want to say something to me, aII you do is speak through the tube.

There's onIy one thing I gotta say to you. You're a stupid, Iong-nosed...

I hated to cut him off in the middIe of an insuIt,

(SWALLOWING) but I couIdn't resist his aroma.

Lunchtime, everybody. Here's your sugar, you sweet, tiny IittIe...

(EX CLAIMING)

He's gone. Wherever did he go?

(SMACKING LIPS )

(GASPING) Oh, no. You didn't.

(BUZZING)

-You bad, oId aardvark. -It hurt me worse than it hurt you.

BeIieve me.

I'm gIad to see you both back on your feet again. You can go now.

But be carefuI.

You know something, Ant? You never Iooked heaIthier.

In fact, I think you put on weight.

WeII, here we go again.

SIow down, Ant. You shouIdn't run aII your fat off again.

(INHALING)

(VEHICLE HORN BLARING)

(CRASHING)

You know, Ant, you're a jinx and a jinx is Iike an insuIt.

You have to swaIIow it.

-Not again. -Yes, again.

And you won't get away from me this time.

And as for you, you broken-down Rin Tin Tin,

don't interfere in my business.

(GNARLING)

Oops! Excuse me, sir. It's a mistake. I thought you were somebody eIse.

Don't go away, Ant. Somehow I've got the feeIing I'II be back.