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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,962 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:08,174 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,260 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,472 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:18,184 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,604 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,024 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,155 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:33,575 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 11 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,830 Ah, the office party. 12 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,124 Raw broccoli and sheet cake. 13 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,212 I like when the universe gives me easy choices. 14 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,756 Thank you for coming. If you haven't already, 15 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,384 please don't forget to Venmo four dollars to James 16 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,718 for the broccoli and sheet cake. 17 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,971 And I want to thank Paula from HR for saving us 18 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,264 a little money by squeeze-farting 19 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:59,392 the last three bottles of ranch dressing onto a paper plate. 20 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,478 Now, to the man of the hour: Moses Beauford. 21 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,105 Moses has been our night watchman 22 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,856 for the last 40 years. 23 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,527 Paula, I think we're good. 24 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,195 Today, he is retiring. 25 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:14,949 So, please meet and say goodbye to Moses Beauford. 26 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:19,620 Now, I've looked through all y'all desks. 27 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,373 Where's Dave Lapoff? 28 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,792 My man. 29 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,544 Of course, with Moses' departure, 30 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:29,213 we'll need to begin our search for a new night watchman. 31 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,299 And what does the job entail? 32 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,883 - Sitting. - And? 33 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,218 Watching. 34 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,512 Interesting, but I don't know. 35 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,431 Hey, what was in Dave's desk anyway? 36 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:40,975 I'll do it. 37 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,063 You enjoying your walk there, Brian? 38 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,149 Good boy, good boy. 39 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,401 What? I'm walking you, you're not walking me. 40 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,862 I'm not the one wearing a leash, my friend. 41 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,535 Lot of information on the base of the pole today. 42 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,538 That rottweiler up the street has a UTI. 43 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,040 Oh, Luna's pregnant! 44 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,584 Oh, good for her, I know she's been trying. 45 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:10,171 Brian, this pole is AT&T, not AT&Pee. 46 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:16,093 "This pole is AT&T, not AT&Pee. Potential tweet." 47 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,178 Hey, check it out: 48 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:20,723 a flyer for a missing dog with a thousand dollar reward. 49 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:21,849 All right, so? 50 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,436 Well, it's just... this dog kind of looks like me. 51 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:29,273 Boy, imagine you paint a couple spots on my face, 52 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,942 return me to the owner and walk off with a thousand bucks. 53 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,321 Wait. That might actually work. 54 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,447 Oh, because then you're just going to live 55 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,033 with the missing dog's owner for the rest of your life? 56 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,660 Come on, use your head, Brian. 57 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,329 I wouldn't live with the missing dog's owner, Stewie. 58 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,456 I'd sneak out while they're asleep and come home. 59 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,333 Then we could split the money 50-50. 60 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,419 You know, you may be on to something here, Brian. 61 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,754 Damn right I am. 62 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,675 Ooh, some poor bastard's got a drinking problem. 63 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,717 That's your pee. 64 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,761 Some cool guy knows how to party. 65 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,767 Hey, thanks for showing me around, Moses. 66 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,102 No problem, Peter. 67 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,478 First thing's first: 68 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,897 being a night watchman is about integrity, 69 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,358 dedication and muttering things you wish you'd said 70 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,527 to your wife during a fight earlier that day. 71 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,363 Who buys a quart of mint chip ice cream? You buy a pint. 72 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,990 Mutter, Peter. We mutter. 73 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,703 Sorry, this is all so new. Hey, what's that? 74 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,622 Oh, every night watchman has a six-inch portable TV 75 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,290 broadcasting a middle-of-the-night, 76 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,668 sparsely attended Oakland A's game. 77 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,087 Welcome back to A's baseball: 78 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,840 "The biggest 'who cares' of professional sports." 79 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,258 Bottom of the fourth now, Tim. 80 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,385 Which Oakland A is batting next? 81 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:42,012 I've said it before and I'll say it again, Greg... 82 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,180 who cares. 83 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,641 Oh, a couple more things, Peter. 84 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,351 And these are very important. 85 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,229 First, these are the giant vats 86 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,022 that hold all of the brewery's beer. 87 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,859 You must protect them at all costs. 88 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:55,901 Whoa. 89 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,572 Yep, I spent many nights fantasizing about throwing 90 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,949 the world's biggest keg party in here. 91 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,577 So, Peter, you ready to become a night watchman? 92 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,997 Does Dave Lapoff like giant Latina butts? 93 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,541 You know he do! 94 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,714 So I said, Denise, it's your wedding, 95 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,091 if you want to have it outdoors, have it outdoors. 96 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,302 Did I miss the memo where the mother of the groom 97 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,845 is now in charge of the wedding? 98 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,346 Okay, now just sit tight for a minute, 99 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,141 I got to go check on Doris. 100 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,978 That Doris is a riot. 101 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:34,315 81, she still gets her hair permed every month. 102 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,858 Do you know she walks here? 103 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:39,945 And she plays golf twice a week with her sister, who's 90. 104 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,739 Sharp as a tack, still drives. 105 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,157 Stewie, are we almost done here? 106 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,910 I just needed a quick touch-up, so I can look like that missing dog. 107 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,453 We are completely done. 108 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,914 Brian, say hello to $1,000. 109 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:52,541 Wow, Stewie, this is actually pretty good. 110 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,919 At cosmetology school, I was the only one 111 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,420 who came back after lunch. 112 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,963 ANNOUNCER: Cosmetology school: 113 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,300 we spell "school" with a "U" for legal reasons. 114 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,097 And a big hello to all our night watchman viewers 115 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,432 on the East Coast. 116 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,393 Time for you guys to unwrap that six-hour sandwich 117 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,687 and listen to me call foul balls. 118 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,232 Fouled off. Oh and one. 119 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,944 Bad guys. 120 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,406 This is it, Peter. Remember your training. 121 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,453 Ah! Take whatever you want! 122 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,247 Good evening, my good sir. 123 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,415 We are an all-principal drinking group 124 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,501 called "Principals with Vices." 125 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,044 "Vice Principals"? 126 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,629 Ah, so you got it! 127 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,422 Leonard said no one would get it. 128 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,465 You hear that, Leonard? 129 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,550 Yeah, I heard it. 130 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:46,345 Leonard's the principal of an elementary school, 131 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,764 which in our world makes him my "beyotch." 132 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:51,308 Anyway, like most principals, 133 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,768 we stole the driver's ed car 134 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,770 and have been cruising around town asking women 135 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,814 if we can have their attention, please. 136 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,148 They have not given it. 137 00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,359 No, they have not, other Leonard. 138 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,528 Two-thirds of all principals are named Leonard. 139 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,864 So now it's 2:00 a. m., the bars are closed, 140 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,241 and we are all still quite divorced. 141 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,410 Can you provide us with more alcohol? 142 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,538 Uh, I don't know, let me check the rules. 143 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,000 Oh. 144 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,877 Aw. 145 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,045 I don't know why they wrote the card that way. 146 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,006 Are you sure you can't let us in? 147 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,300 I'll show you a picture of a naked student. 148 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,384 That's my son! 149 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,052 Oh, well, I have others. 150 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,013 No, that's him again. 151 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,890 Nope, well, that's also him. 152 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,349 Okay, these are all Chris. 153 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,477 How about instead we give you $20 per beer? 154 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,896 Whoa, hang on. 155 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,439 Are you saying you'll give me cash 156 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,816 just to let you come in here and drink after hours? 157 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,736 - You betcha. - Holy crap, I'm gonna be rich. 158 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,946 Come on in! 159 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,575 That was the night a secret after-hours bar 160 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,535 opened up in the back of the brewery. 161 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,078 I'm Chris Griffin. 162 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,623 Naked photos were taken of me without my consent, 163 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,876 and my dad doesn't care. 164 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,634 Place is packed, Peter. 165 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:09,428 Word's really gotten around about your after-hours beer operation. 166 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,554 Thanks, Quagmire. 167 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:11,931 It's only the second night, 168 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,223 and I'm already raking it in. 169 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,892 Peter, what if you get caught? 170 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,686 Impossible. I know where all the security cameras are, 171 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,855 and we got a massive supply of beer. 172 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,608 The only problem is running this place all by myself. 173 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,109 You know, we could probably help out. 174 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,736 Really? That'll be great. 175 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,447 - I could even cut you in on the action. - I'm down. 176 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,699 Look, I'm a cop and this is technically illegal, 177 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,952 but I suppose I could turn a blind eye 178 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,829 if I were to be put in charge of the music. 179 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,498 Done. What kind of music you thinking? 180 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:41,126 My favorite genre: songs that yell the name of places. 181 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,212 You want to see a guy lose his mind? 182 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,631 Put on Huey Lewis' "Heart of Rock And Roll." 183 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,508 That little baby wastes no time. 184 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,218 It's like, "Oh, let's just hit play 185 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,260 on this fun little song." 186 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,971 "New York! New York!" 187 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,222 It's sick. 188 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,473 "Free Fallin'" is a good one. 189 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,891 That song names a lot of places. 190 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,644 Oh, sure. If your definition of "a lot" is three. 191 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,647 Reseda, Ventura Boulevard, Mulholland Drive. 192 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,650 Yeah, not exactly moving this guy's needle. 193 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,193 Isn't there four in that song? 194 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,987 "America" is in the second line. 195 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,029 Doesn't count. Too general. 196 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,365 But the chorus in "Kokomo" where The Beach Boys 197 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,534 list all the islands near Kokomo? 198 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,869 The one where they mention the singular Bahama? 199 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:20,165 You know, not all the Bahamas, just the one Bahama? 200 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,168 Oh, baby. Huge needle mover. 201 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:33,804 Wow, who knew running a speakeasy would be so lucrative? 202 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,181 Yeah, but you guys, now that we're secretly raking in 203 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,975 all this cash, let's promise each other 204 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,811 we're not gonna blow it on mistresses and drug habits. 205 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,897 - Agreed. - Hey, so quick update... 206 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,525 Okay, the glory hole kissing booth is up and running. 207 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,736 I think that thing's gonna be a big money-maker! 208 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,238 Everything in this place is a big money-maker. 209 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,240 I know, it's all going perfectly. 210 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,825 Well, except Keith from accounting 211 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,618 keeps talking about the guitar in his office, 212 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,163 hoping somebody'll ask him to... Uhp, he went and got it. 213 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,499 Yeah, I kind of mess around a little bit... 214 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,418 You know, it's not even so much his singing, 215 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:07,171 it's that every song has a tedious back story. 216 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,674 I'll be honest, this next one I wrote 217 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,427 during a pretty dark period in my life 218 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,762 when I was out in the desert, 219 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,222 staring up at that star-filled sky. 220 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,141 This one's called "Big Blue Marble." 221 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,769 See, the thing about the desert is... 222 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:25,189 Ugh, God, go home and be with your newborn, Keith. 223 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,778 All right, Brian, now remember: I'm the one who found you, 224 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,696 and I'm taking you back to your family. 225 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,989 Why are you dressed like that? 226 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,449 People aren't just going to give a baby 227 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,159 a thousand dollars, Brian. 228 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,911 So, I've created a character. 229 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,580 I'm a construction worker from "around the way" 230 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,333 named Bobby Beccorino. 231 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,211 Yeah, what's up, chief? 232 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,004 Bobby Beccorino from around the way. 233 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:52,132 How's it hangin'? Me? Probably stuck to my frickin' thigh 234 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,718 right now 'cause I sweat so much during construction, 235 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:55,844 know what I'm sayin'? 236 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,846 I'm sorry. Who are you? 237 00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,349 Oh, I'm a whole plate of pancakes, pal. 238 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,767 Name's Bobby Beccorino. 239 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:02,976 You know, from around the way? 240 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,772 Oh, my God! Rover! 241 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,524 Yeah, he was wanderin' around the site 242 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,442 where I do all my construction stuff. 243 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,444 Maybe you've seen it, it's around the way. 244 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,613 I haven't heard of a construction site nearby. 245 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,781 Oh, yeah. It's there. 246 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,658 Just hop in your car, drive around the road, 247 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,618 and when you get to the way? Go around it. 248 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,869 Okay, well, thanks for... 249 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,497 Yeah, ol' Bobby Beccorino was layin' drywall 250 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,541 with the boys when he spotted this idiot 251 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,751 takin' a big dump near my band saw. 252 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:31,505 Okay, sorry, but... don't you hang drywall? 253 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,881 Listen up, you little cranberry. 254 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,591 Bobby Beccorino's been layin' drywall 255 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,884 since you were in Pampers! 256 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,888 Okay! I'm sorry! Here's your money. 257 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,062 Nice place you got here... 258 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,939 Whoa. 259 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,440 What the hell? 260 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,067 So, Rover Four, 261 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:55,154 you thought you could escape from Chase's TikTok house? 262 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,281 Rover Four? TikTok house? 263 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,783 This weekend I'll use you for my most dangerous 264 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,077 and humiliating viral stunt yet. 265 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,122 And your fate will be that of Rovers One through Three. 266 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,207 Then, it'll be time to find Rover Five. 267 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,418 Enjoy your last couple of days alive. 268 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,170 Last couple days alive? 269 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,005 Wait, no, no. This is a mix-up. 270 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,256 Oh, God. 271 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:15,674 Coming here was a mistake. 272 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,801 Like buying that German plunger. 273 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,804 Ah, das gut! Yah! Yah! Yah! 274 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,099 I am vurthless! I am vurthless rubber boy! 275 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,143 Punish me now! 276 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,859 We got a problem! We're out of beer! 277 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,652 Crap. What are we gonna do? 278 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,780 Why don't you just use the money you made to buy more beer? 279 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:42,202 Hey, so quick update about the money... 280 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,291 Well, that's the last of 'em. 281 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:52,127 I can't believe I used up all the beer, you guys. 282 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,587 I am in so much trouble. 283 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,340 Well, well, well... 284 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,758 Surprised to see me? 285 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,051 We can't actually see you. 286 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,469 Yeah, you're still in the shadows. 287 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,429 Damn it. Hold on. 288 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,140 Well, well, well. 289 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,309 Yeah, still not seeing you, bud. 290 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,602 Maybe walk forward more? 291 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,605 I did that, man. H-How about now? 292 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,607 Yeah, I think I can see you now. 293 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,567 - Are your shoes black? - Brown. 294 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,110 Okay, yeah, I can't see you. 295 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,988 Oh, for the love of Luther Vandross! 296 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,824 Peter, the truth is, every night watchman steals beer. 297 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,160 The key is only stealing a single bottle a week 298 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,453 over 30 years. 299 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,747 Course, I'm man enough to admit I ran out of beer 300 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,749 from a party once when I first started. 301 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,419 My plan was to replace it by robbing a beer truck. 302 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,880 But I could never find the right team to pull it off. 303 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,591 You also didn't have Smash Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun." 304 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,051 I'm sorry. Smash what now? 305 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,929 Every successful heist after 1998 306 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,181 began with Smash Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun." 307 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:50,602 Yours didn't have it. Hence, unsuccessful heist. 308 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,271 Well, that makes no sense. 309 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,401 - I'm in. - I'm in. - I'm in. 310 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,402 I'm in. 311 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,779 Well, all right. Maybe this crew could pull off 312 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,739 the beer truck heist I never could. 313 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,742 Let's do it. Joe's got access to a police helicopter. 314 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,620 - And I know how to fly. - I'll bring the snacks! 315 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,330 That's the guy we never got. 316 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,165 We never got the snack guy. 317 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,337 Chris, have you seen Brian? 318 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,381 "How are you today, Chris?" 319 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:22,509 Is a nice way to begin a conversation. 320 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,678 I'm sorry. It's just that he and I had this plan 321 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,221 to make him look like a missing dog 322 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,431 and collect reward money. 323 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,724 But I can't find him anywhere 324 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,600 and his cell phone is going to voice mail. 325 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,394 Chris, you've got to help me find Brian. 326 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:36,440 Hang on, let me get out my rude little boy translator. 327 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:39,901 Oh, you said, "Will you please help me find Brian?" 328 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,612 Why, yes, that sounds lovely, Stewie. 329 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:46,283 Okay, Chris. Your agent said you wanted more scenes. 330 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,367 These are the scenes. 331 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,544 Mint Milano? Mint Milano? 332 00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,047 I can't eat those without milk. 333 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,132 The mother-lovin' Snack Guy. 334 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,301 This is it, fellas. Everyone ready? 335 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,427 Wait... 336 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:08,305 Now we're ready. 337 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:12,267 ♪ It ain't no joke, I'd like to buy the world a toke ♪ 338 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:15,979 ♪ And teach the world to sing in perfect harmony ♪ 339 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:20,525 ♪ And teach the world to snuff the fires and the liars ♪ 340 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,737 ♪ Hey, I know it's just a song, but it's spice for the recipe ♪ 341 00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:27,407 ♪ This is a love attack, I know it went out, but it's back... ♪ 342 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,742 What do I do now? 343 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,369 We call the Weekapaug Brewery 344 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,080 and redirect the truck to our brewery. 345 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,333 Then why the hell did I have to be on the roof of the... Ah! 346 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,337 Ah! 347 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:44,884 Ah...! 348 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,389 Way to go, Peter. 349 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:54,059 This whole thing was a big waste of time thanks to you. 350 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,353 Hey, did anyone unstrap Joe? 351 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,818 No. We did not. 352 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,324 Wait, this is where you dropped Brian off? 353 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,119 - This is a TikTok house. - How do you know that? 354 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,914 Every room in the house is glowing from ring lights. 355 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,212 - Can I help you? - We're looking for our dog. 356 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,547 Dog? 357 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:26,383 I think Chase brought a dog to Dangerous Stunt Beach 358 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,551 to do a dangerous stunt. 359 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,594 Oh, no. We got to help him. 360 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,887 Did you hear that, Stewie? 361 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,640 Already on your phone? 362 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,308 The world's up here, Stewie. 363 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,854 Your mind's a prison, and only you hold the key. 364 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,902 All right, Chris. We don't have much time to find Brian. 365 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,613 - Maybe we split... - Oh, my God. Stewie, look! 366 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,328 Don't worry, Brian! We're here to save you! 367 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,247 Stewie! Chris! Help! 368 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,291 The guy's right over there with the remote! 369 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,794 We got you, buddy! 370 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,337 All right, Chris. Here's the plan: 371 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,256 When I give you the signal, grab the remote, 372 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,549 take control of the drone, 373 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,968 and I'll be here to safely guide Brian ashore. 374 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,511 - Got it? - Got it. 375 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,555 - Wait. What's the signal? - What? 376 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,390 The signal. You said you'd give me a signal. 377 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,516 What is it? 378 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,852 You'll know the signal when you see it. Now go! 379 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,730 Yeah, look. I hate to be getting into the weeds here, 380 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,356 but I'm just saying if I was aware 381 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,691 of the signal going in, I might... 382 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,984 Chris! I don't understand 383 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,944 why you're making this into such an issue. 384 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,196 I mean, it's-it's a signal! 385 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,490 It-It'll be an unmistakable signal. 386 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:35,619 Okay, see, even you classifying the signal as "unmistakable" 387 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,622 presumes there to be various categories of signals, 388 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,874 of which I am not at all aware, mind you... 389 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,667 Hey! Shut up and get me down! 390 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,794 Just go. 391 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,714 Everybody, look! Up in the sky! 392 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,717 It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... 393 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,345 "The Lubed-Up Butt Mutt." 394 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,269 Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt! 395 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:04,231 Oh, my God. I'm sponsored content. 396 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,525 Stewie! Give Chris the signal! 397 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,029 What's wrong with you people? 398 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,907 I am a hardworking, accomplished author! 399 00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,158 Brian... 400 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,743 I am an accomplished author! 401 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:17,869 Brian... 402 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,121 - I am an author! - Brian... 403 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,124 I mostly use my computer for Bella Thorne's OnlyFans. 404 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,960 There you go. Proud of you, man. 405 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:25,961 Hey, Chris! 406 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,588 A thumbs-up? 407 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:31,299 That's the signal you couldn't tell me about? 408 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,176 This is bush league, man. 409 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,720 Ah! 410 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,893 Ah! 411 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,022 Ah! Ah! 412 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,779 Ah! 413 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:53,990 What the deuce? 414 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:16,344 We're gonna crash! 415 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,642 What the hell is this stuff? 416 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,894 X-Y "Fire and Ice" Jelly. 417 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,271 Ooh, 'cause it feels really goo... 418 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,814 Oh! Too hot! Too hot! 419 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:28,857 Ooh, it feels really goo... 420 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,400 Oh! Too hot! Too hot! 421 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,199 That's Preston. He's waiting for me in my office. 422 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,368 Time to fess up and admit I'm the reason 423 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,037 the brewery's out of beer. 424 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,288 Well, it's been fun. 425 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,957 Peter, this is all our faults. 426 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,168 Let us come with you and share the blame. 427 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,378 No, Cleveland. For once in my life, 428 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,130 I got to be a man about something 429 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,884 and take full and total responsibility. 430 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,220 Preston! There's a Black guy outside 431 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,680 and he stole all the beer. 432 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,182 What are you talking about, Griffin? 433 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,768 The brewery has plenty of beer. 434 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:05,852 How'd it go? 435 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,729 Well, well, well... 436 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:08,855 Moses? 437 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,190 Surprised to see me? 438 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,816 Yeah, again, we cannot see you. 439 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,236 You're really bad at this whole "emerging from darkness" thing. 440 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,280 Oh, sweet Patti LaBelle. 441 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,659 Peter, the brewery has beer again because I put it there. 442 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,453 Wait! Are you one of those magical Black guys 443 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,330 who helps white people with their problems 444 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,498 and then disappears? 445 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,458 The kind Hollywood had no problem making 446 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:31,544 many movies about until a shockingly recent time? 447 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:34,673 No, Peter. I just used every bottle of beer I stole 448 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,217 over the last 30 years to refill the vats. 449 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,218 You did? 450 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,928 I always thought my retirement dream 451 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,262 would be to move to Oakland. 452 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,641 But man, there's a butt load of homeless people there. 453 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,394 But what do you expect given the laissez-faire politics 454 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,854 of a California Democrat like Gavin Newsom? 455 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,272 Hey, hey, buddy? Buddy? 456 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,066 I only talk about one politician, 457 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,818 and that's Mayor McCheese. 458 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,027 Oh, I'm sorry. 459 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,029 So, I returned, refilled the beer, 460 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,031 and I'm taking my old job back. 461 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,284 Wow. 30 years' worth of beer in one night? 462 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,703 That must have taken a while. 463 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,497 You know, that works out 464 00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:11,167 to over 1,500 bottles of beer on the wall. 465 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,294 Which reminds me of a song. 466 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,337 A-one, a-two... 467 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,297 Damn it, Keith. Go home to your wife. 468 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,801 She's totally overwhelmed. Go on! 469 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,266 Well, we learned a lot this week. 470 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,435 But unfortunately, we all then died 471 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:30,103 of carbon monoxide poisoning. 472 00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,564 Probably because I took the batteries out of the detector 473 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,692 and put them in an old Star Tours visor that lights up. 474 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,444 Was it worth it? I don't know. 475 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,862 It wasn't so great indoors, 476 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,573 but it was pretty cool to wear outside at night. 477 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,991 Lot of head nods. 478 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:46,369 No conversations, but people are wicked timid after COVID. 479 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:47,662 Joe's the one who found us. 480 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,374 I think he grabbed some stuff before he called it in. 481 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,753 I'm gonna miss you, pal. 482 00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,380 - Nice. Star Tours? - Yeah. 483 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,590 - When did you... - Hey, I'd love to chat, 484 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,968 but I'm a little timid after COVID. 36411

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