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1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:04,169
- Read this again.
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,772
- Come on, ray.
Honey, it's a great present.
3
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,407
What you wrote on it
is perfect,
4
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,109
And you can't
change it now anyway
5
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,377
Because it's
christmas eve.
6
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:15,614
- Once more.
7
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,083
- "merry christmas.
We love you.
8
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:22,121
Michael, geoffrey,
ally, debra, and ray."
9
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,288
- It's stupid.
10
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,190
- Oh, honey, no, no.
11
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,493
Everybody's going to
love this present, okay?
12
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,795
Accept it.
You had a great idea.
13
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:32,765
- Why'd I put "xmas"?
14
00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:36,168
You know,
I don't like "xmas."
15
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,137
I-I xed out the name
of the birthday boy.
16
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,305
- Ray, stop.
17
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,374
Stop obsessing, okay?
I love it.
18
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:46,245
My god, it's been
two months of toaster.
19
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:50,449
- Hey, this is going out
with my name on it.
20
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,251
Did you wrap the one
for your parents?
21
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,318
- Yes. Yes.
22
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,720
- Which wrapping?
23
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,056
- The foil.
24
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,724
- No!
25
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,659
That tips off the gift.
26
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,161
- What?
27
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:05,230
- Foil wrapping.
It's a metal toaster.
28
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:09,568
Oh, why didn't you just
wrap it in toast?
29
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,437
Look, if I'm gonna drive
all the way up to connecticut
30
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,439
To spend christmas day
with your parents,
31
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,308
I-I want a good reaction
when they open the present.
32
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:20,279
- And the foil wrapping
kills that?
33
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:23,582
- I don't know.
34
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,250
You think--you think
this toaster thing
35
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:28,153
Is funky enough for them?
36
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:32,558
- Was it supposed
to be funky?
37
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,827
- For them, I mean--
38
00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:37,396
They're the hip people.
39
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:41,700
- Oh, honey,
come on, you're hip.
40
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:42,868
Yes!
41
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:47,539
Yes, this is a very
hip, funky,
42
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:50,542
Badass toaster.
43
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,178
- All right, okay.
44
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,713
Very nice.
Yeah, make fun of me.
45
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,682
- No, I'm not.
46
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,617
- Yeah, your parents and you,
you put up with me--
47
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,452
- No.
Nobody feels that way.
48
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,154
- I'm a doofus, okay?
49
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,355
I-I admit it.
50
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,490
Come on,
who am I kidding?
51
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,225
Look at me.
52
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:09,394
I'm a goofy doofus
with a foofy toaster.
53
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,729
- What?
54
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,431
- Look, I-it's fine,
all right?
55
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,399
I'm not blaming anyone.
56
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,802
What, I don't know that
you could have married better?
57
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,706
[sighs]
I don't know. I don't know.
58
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:23,175
Merry christmas, honey.
Good night.
59
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,182
[exhales]
60
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:33,318
Oh, god, look at the size
of my nose.
61
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,565
And as the welsh say,
"a-hee-da."
62
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:47,599
- Hey.
63
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:48,867
- "broughsom
fealtcha!"
64
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,572
I just made that up.
65
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,807
- Well, come on, ray,
let's give 'em our present.
66
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,176
- No.
You know what?
67
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,210
They'll open it
when we leave.
68
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,411
- Oh, stop it.
69
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,679
No. Here it is,
right here. Okay?
70
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,813
Raymond
picked it out,
71
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,448
And he did everything.
72
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,851
- Oh, well,
I love the wrapping.
73
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,653
- Debra did that.
74
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,889
- Hey, a toaster.
75
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,628
Look, hon, a toaster.
76
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,565
- Oh. How nice.
77
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,368
- You've got to
open the box, okay?
78
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,937
Yeah, just go ahead there.
79
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,371
What are you doing?
80
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,273
- Hating myself.
81
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:33,445
- Oh. Oh, look, warren.
82
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,681
- "merry christmas.
We love you.
83
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,984
Michael, geoffrey,
ally, debra, and ray."
84
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:42,754
- Ooh! This is fantastic!
85
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,289
- You see?
You love it, right?
86
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,758
- What a wild idea.
Who thought of this?
87
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,759
- Ray.
88
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,429
- No. Well, I--
89
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,231
Yeah, yeah.
90
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,633
- Oh, raymond.
91
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,735
Look at that engraving.
92
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,438
- Love the chrome.
93
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,273
[doorbell rings]
94
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,941
Super. Just super.
95
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,244
- Ohh, thank you.
96
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,912
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, ray.
97
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,848
Ohh.
98
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,351
It is so retro chic.
99
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,888
- You're making fun
of me, right?
100
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,424
- No, no!
101
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,427
This should be on display.
102
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,766
- Home run.
You see?
103
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,268
- Look who's here.
104
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,836
- Ho, ho, ho.
105
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,338
- Hey, robert.
So glad you made it.
106
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:34,706
- What's up? I thought
you weren't gonna come.
107
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,542
I was doing some
skiing with a friend.
108
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,745
Here she comes.
- Hi.
109
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:40,946
Merry christmas.
110
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,448
- Leeann, everyone.
Everyone, leeann.
111
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,716
- Hi.
- Welcome.
112
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:49,688
Come in.
Let me take your coat.
113
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:53,425
- What is
your life now?
114
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:57,596
- I don't know.
Better?
115
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,830
Hey, by the way,
116
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,832
That toaster you gave me
was great, raymond.
117
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:01,967
Yeah, I gotta
hand it to ya.
118
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,602
All the names
engraved--
119
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,504
- Yeah? Thanks.
Thanks, man.
120
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,006
- Oh, that was so sweet.
121
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,942
All my brother gave me
was some cheap bath salts.
122
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:15,414
- Well, I just wanted to
express myself in a, uh,
123
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,482
Retro chic way.
124
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,888
- Whole family got one?
- Yeah.
125
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,557
Yeah. And a couple
of friends, too.
126
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,958
- Well, they're all
gonna love it.
127
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,760
[chuckles]
listen, uh,
128
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,962
What did mom and dad say
about the toaster?
129
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,732
I only got 'em
a soft toilet seat.
130
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,502
I guess I'm gonna have to now,
I don't know,
131
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,371
Write a poem
on it or something.
132
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,406
- [laughs]
yeah. Yeah.
133
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:44,009
- No, but, uh, really,
the reason why I came by
134
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,878
Was to, uh,
say thank you.
135
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,380
It was sweet
and thoughtful.
136
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:49,648
- Yeah, all right.
- I mean it.
137
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,516
- Well, thanks.
138
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,718
- Merry christmas,
raymond.
139
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,722
- Oh--yeah, yeah, yeah.
140
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,724
Thank you, man.
Thanks, robert.
141
00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,991
You too.
142
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,694
- Oh, see?
You did it.
143
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,763
The perfect present,
everybody loves it.
144
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,431
Oh, boy.
145
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:09,868
Really feels like
christmas, doesn't it?
146
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,671
- What?
147
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,507
- Well, why didn't mom and dad
call about the toaster?
148
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,109
- [sighs]
149
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:20,712
- Hey, ray,
broughsom fealtcha!
150
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:31,857
- Hey, ray, guess what.
151
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,558
Three more messages
on the machine.
152
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,960
Gail, andy, linda,
153
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:37,028
All love
the toaster.
154
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,865
- Yeah, well, still
nothing from my parents.
155
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,601
You know, I gave it
to them on the 23rd.
156
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,735
It's the 26th,
157
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,771
And they haven't
called or stopped by.
158
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,172
- Hmm.
159
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,507
You know what
that's called?
160
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,775
- What?
161
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,943
- A merry christmas!
162
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:00,819
- I don't get it.
163
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,588
You--you give 'em
a present, you think--
164
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,791
- Hi!
- Hi!
165
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,993
Time to take down the tree.
166
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,164
- Hey, ma?
- Yeah?
167
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,565
- How was your christmas?
168
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,434
- Oh, it was marvelous.
169
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,003
The teslas came over,
and we sang songs.
170
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,872
And we even
had some amaretto.
171
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,774
You should have
seen your father.
172
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,576
He was wonderful.
173
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,452
- Okay, okay.
174
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,086
You're mad because
we spent christmas day
175
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,555
At her parents' house.
176
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,123
- Of course not, dear.
177
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,692
I know we trade off.
178
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,627
I did wish you
were there, though.
179
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:47,098
Your father danced
with the trash can.
180
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,135
- Yeah. Mr. Wonderful.
181
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,204
- Oh, he had the time
of his life.
182
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,905
Oh, he needs some aspirin.
May I?
183
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,707
- Yeah, sure.
- Good.
184
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:02,013
- So, ma, you get some,
uh, some nice things this year?
185
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,982
- Oh, yes, dear.
Lovely.
186
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,751
Can't complain.
187
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:09,154
- All right,
did you get my gift?
188
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,689
- Oh, yes, dear.
189
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,756
Very nice.
190
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,059
You know--
191
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:18,497
I heard that you met
robbie's skiing date.
192
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:21,099
- Mm-hmm.
- Did you like her?
193
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,872
- I'm talking to dad.
194
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,977
- I liked her.
195
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:34,546
She gave me some
lovely bath salts.
196
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:46,024
- Hey, dad.
- Aspirin.
197
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,726
- Yeah. It's coming.
Listen--
198
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,161
- Bad christmas.
199
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:54,032
I danced
with your mother.
200
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,235
- She said it was
the trash can.
201
00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:00,038
- I traded up
to the trash can.
202
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:03,975
- All right, listen,
203
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,877
Did you guys
open my present?
204
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,546
- What?
205
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,114
Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
206
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:12,951
Uh, very nice.
Thank you.
207
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:13,952
- That's it?
208
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,220
Did you see what it was?
209
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,689
- What? Yeah.
210
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,591
It was a toaster.
211
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,793
- Did you open the box?
212
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,161
- Yeah.
213
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,797
- You saw what it said?
What--what did it say?
214
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,566
- I don't know.
215
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:31,703
"toast-pro."
who cares?
216
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:35,106
- It was special.
It's a special thing.
217
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,841
You--you didn't
open the box.
218
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,276
You gotta open up
the box, dad.
219
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,278
Come on,
where is it?
220
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,187
- I...
221
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,990
Don't have it
with me right now.
222
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,029
- What do you mean?
Where is it?
223
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:01,666
What did you do
with it?
224
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,269
- Your mother wanted
a coffee maker.
225
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,078
- Here we go.
226
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,348
- What did you do?
227
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,949
Where's my toaster?
228
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,351
What did you do?
229
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:20,919
- Nothing, dear.
230
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,153
When we saw
it was a toaster,
231
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,622
We took it over
to bloomingdale's
232
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,925
And traded it in
for the coffee machine.
233
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,727
- What? But I--
234
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:32,197
It--it didn't even come
from bloomingdale's.
235
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,834
- They don't know that.
236
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,036
- So you--so you lied
to bloomingdale's?
237
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,805
- Not mr. Bloomingdale--
238
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,308
Just the store.
239
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,011
- When did you do this?
240
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,679
- Well, the day
you gave it to us.
241
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,114
I hate returning things
after christmas.
242
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,348
It's so crowded.
243
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,650
Coffee, dear?
244
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,285
- No, no!
I don't want coffee.
245
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,656
- It's very good.
246
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,958
- That wasn't just
a toaster, ma.
247
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,327
It said "merry christmas.
We love you.
248
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,997
Michael geoffrey,
ally, debra, and ray."
249
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,000
- It spoke?
250
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,674
- No!
On it!
251
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,309
On the side--I had it engraved
on the side.
252
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:21,379
- Engraved?
- What did you do that for?
253
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,348
- I don't know.
254
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,749
I thought
it would be nice.
255
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,851
I thought you
might enjoy it,
256
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:30,188
You psychopaths.
257
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:35,093
- Was my name
on there?
258
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,361
- I can't
believe this.
259
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,797
You know how much time and--
and thought--
260
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,031
- Sweetie, sweetie--
- no! It--
261
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,934
- [shushing]
262
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,070
All right, listen,
honey, listen.
263
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,371
I-I understand.
264
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,173
I completely understand
why you're upset,
265
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,075
But let me
explain something.
266
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,711
You see,
this coffee machine
267
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,479
Has the coffee
already made
268
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,482
When you come down
in the morning.
269
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:08,226
- The toaster has
your son's name--
270
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,895
And the names
of his family,
271
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,464
Your grandchildren,
272
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:15,400
And their love on it.
273
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,271
- I'm sorry, dear.
274
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,173
Well, you know what?
275
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:25,910
Maybe we could put the names
on the coffee machine.
276
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,218
- What are you buying
a toaster for, anyway?
277
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:34,319
Ours is still good.
278
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,320
- No, it's not!
279
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:38,823
- It is.
It is, dear.
280
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,792
You just don't know
how to use it, see.
281
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,527
You got to rattle it
a little bit,
282
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,928
And then you
pull the toast up
283
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:44,963
And turn it around
284
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,297
And then do it
on the other side.
285
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,768
- It's not about
the toast, ma!
286
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,370
My gift,
it had meaning!
287
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,205
Everyone else
loves the toaster.
288
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,008
Everyone else.
Everyone!
289
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:02,180
Who are you people?
290
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,489
You know what?
291
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:12,524
Any time I've ever
given you a present,
292
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:13,925
It's never been
any good.
293
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,394
- That's not true--
- no? The microwave.
294
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:19,831
- Well, that.
295
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,367
Well, we--we didn't need
a microwave.
296
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,035
- And they're dangerous.
297
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,838
What if I wanted to have
more children?
298
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:38,416
- If god hasn't stopped you,
the government will.
299
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,188
What about the fruit
of the month club?
300
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,056
- Oh, that was insane.
301
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:48,359
A year of fruit?
302
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:49,861
Do you know, they still
send me fliers
303
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,496
Wanting me to rejoin?
304
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,265
A-and pictures
of apricots?
305
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:57,569
How's that supposed
to make me feel?
306
00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:59,437
- Oh, how--
how you feel.
307
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:02,140
How about how I feel, huh?
You ever think of that?
308
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,142
- Well, honey,
309
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:08,379
We're the ones who have
to get these presents.
310
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:14,552
I'm--I'm sorry.
311
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,088
I don't know
what else to say.
312
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,959
- How about
"thank...You."?
313
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,093
Yeah.
314
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:25,864
Thank you.
That's what people say.
315
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,166
I don't care if you
need a toaster.
316
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,901
I don't care if you think
it's a waste of money.
317
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,569
You take the gift
and you say thank you!
318
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,404
And you know why?
Because it's from me!
319
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:37,208
Me, me, raymond,
your idiot son raymond.
320
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,583
- How could they
not like the toaster?
321
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,218
- They didn't even open it.
322
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,220
They traded it in.
323
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,291
Ungrateful mental cases.
324
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,929
- You know,
maybe the question here isn't
325
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,230
"why don't they ever
like my presents?"
326
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,932
But rather,
327
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:05,336
"why do I so desperately
need their approval?"
328
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:09,474
- Ah...
- Oh, shut up.
329
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,576
Shut up.
How would you feel?
330
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,645
- How would I feel?
331
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,480
Maybe you'd like
to read my book,
332
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:19,150
"you're in the way:
The robert barone story."
333
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,354
He doesn't need
their approval, sis.
334
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,522
He's got it to a fault.
335
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,924
He's the beloved one.
336
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,559
- Oh, they love me,
they care about me.
337
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,929
How come they don't care
that they hurt my feelings, huh?
338
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,263
That's right.
339
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,132
You don't see 'em
doing anything about that.
340
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,304
- You let me
do the talking.
341
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,471
- Just tell the truth.
342
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,940
- No, no, no.
343
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,208
Where are you from?
344
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,410
We walk out of here
345
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,045
With the toaster
and the coffee thing.
346
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,379
- What?
347
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,581
Just get raymond's toaster.
- Next in line, please.
348
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,250
- [shushing]
349
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,351
- Just don't say--
350
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:55,486
- Lock it up, marie!
351
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,622
Hello.
352
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,291
And a merry
christmas to you.
353
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:04,395
May our lord and savior
bestow many blessings
354
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,731
Upon you
and your loved ones.
355
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:11,002
- Thank you.
I'm jewish.
356
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,470
- Oh.
357
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,440
Uh, all these people
must be a pain in the ass, huh?
358
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,308
- Frank,
don't say that.
359
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,077
- Let me do it my way.
360
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,311
- Are you
returning this?
361
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,413
- Uh, yes, we are.
362
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,516
It unfortunately
is a piece of crap.
363
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,218
- Oh, no.
It's very nice.
364
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,319
We just would like
something else.
365
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,587
- No!
366
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,655
- Was there something
wrong with it?
367
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:34,659
- Uh, we didn't
even open it.
368
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,062
This is how you help?
369
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:40,264
- Lying was your idea.
370
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:43,434
- And why are we
lying today?
371
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:46,037
- My son bought us
this coffee maker,
372
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,338
And he means well,
373
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,107
But we would like to
exchange it for something
374
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,475
We can really use.
375
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:53,211
You know, like a--
I don't know--
376
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:56,447
A--a toaster or something.
377
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,715
- That's fine.
378
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,217
You can pick out
a toaster over there.
379
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,419
- Oh, thank you very much.
380
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,421
Shalom.
381
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,290
- We coulda got both!
382
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,525
- Ooh, look, toast-pro.
383
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,560
Look, uh, open these boxes.
384
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,029
- All right,
all right--
385
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,331
- Just look for
raymond's toaster.
386
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,600
- I'm sorry.
387
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,402
May I help you?
388
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,203
- We can handle it,
jeeves.
389
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,772
- Hello.
390
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,508
We're just, uh,
checking these.
391
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,675
- Well, I can assure you,
they're all
392
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:27,111
Exactly like
the display model.
393
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,813
- Well, see, here's one
394
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,681
Where the pamphlet's
a little folded.
395
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,783
- What are you doing?
396
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,484
That's not
a believable complaint.
397
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,353
- It's perfectly valid.
398
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,056
- Can't you ever
just be quiet?
399
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,058
- Don't you tell me
to be quiet.
400
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,793
I have a mind
of my own, you know.
401
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,161
I can contribute.
402
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,830
I'm not just
some trophy wife.
403
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:03,581
- You're a trophy wife?
404
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,751
What contest in hell
did I win?
405
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:12,223
- Please, you've
opened every box.
406
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,591
I'm going to have to
ask you to make--
407
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,793
- This can't be
every toaster.
408
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,329
- No. Well, I'm sure
there are more in the stockroom.
409
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,831
- Stockroom.
Distract the workers.
410
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:23,367
- What?
- Just keep yappin'.
411
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:27,638
- See, my husband is very
particular about his toast.
412
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,222
Holy crap.
413
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:54,332
- I got this toaster from my son
for christmas yesterday,
414
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,534
But it has
some writing on it.
415
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,203
- Ooh, are you
exchanging that toaster?
416
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,139
- Oh, no, I wouldn't
dream of exchanging it.
417
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,541
I got it from my son.
418
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,377
What sort of mother
would I be?
419
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,380
- [laughs]
420
00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:17,455
- Well,
I would exchange it
421
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,457
Because look at all that
stupid writing on it.
422
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,825
- Oh, but, I love it.
423
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,361
The store just got
the names wrong.
424
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,697
Could you change
the names to, uh,
425
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:32,703
June, harvey, bobby--
426
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,506
- You see, this toaster's
from my raymond.
427
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,741
Look. Look here.
428
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,909
Wait. Look,
I'll show you.
429
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,577
Here. Here he is.
Look. See.
430
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:43,848
And there's michael
and--and geoffrey and ally
431
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,583
And I don't have
a picture of debra.
432
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,619
Look, just give me
that toaster, please.
433
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,654
- No. It's my son's.
434
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:50,922
- Oh, but it's my son.
435
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:52,857
He needs me
to have a toaster!
436
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,858
- Security!
437
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,860
[crash]
438
00:19:56,895 --> 00:20:00,364
- Stupid,
stinkin' hump!
439
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,200
- Hey!
440
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,302
- Oh, try a coffee machine.
441
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,744
- Who was that?
442
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:17,782
- Uh, ray, I think you better
get down to bloomingdale's.
443
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,987
[clears throat]
apparently your parents
444
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,822
Are involved in some
sort of disturbance
445
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,391
Involving destruction
of property
446
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:31,395
And the possible theft
of a toaster.
447
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:41,405
- They do care.
30096
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