Original subtitles

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I DON'T GET THIS MOVIE.

WE'VE BEEN WATCHING IT FOR 1 1/2 HOURS. I'D KINDA LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

WHEN MOVIES GET TOO UNREALISTIC, IT DEPRESSES ME.

I GOT A HEADACHE. I CAN'T WATCH.

UNREALISTIC? DAWSON, YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE IS E.T.

SO?

A FAT-FINGERED ALIEN WHO EATS REESE'S PIECES

AND FLIES AROUND ON A BICYCLE?

BUT THE EMOTION'S REALISTIC. AND THIS MOVIE--COME ON!

A GIRL HAS TO DECIDE BETWEEN 2 GUYS, SO THEY DRAG-RACE?

SHE AGREES TO GO OUT WITH WHOEVER HAS THE FASTEST CAR?

I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, DAWSON,

BUT A FAST CAR CAN BE A REAL TURN ON.

WHY DON'T THEY JUST ARM-WRESTLE?

WHOEVER HAS THE BIGGEST BICEP WINS?

WELL, THAT WOULD WORK. GIVE ME THE REMOTE.

NO.

GIVE IT TO ME! I DON'T WANT TO WATCH IT!

YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT. STOP IT! GIVE IT TO ME!

GIVE IT TO ME. DON'T! WAIT-- WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU ARE SUCH A BRA--

YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS--THIS MOVIE REALLY THREATENS YOU, DOESN'T IT?

THIS MOVIE? YEAH.

OK. ENLIGHTEN ME.

BECAUSE GUYS ARE ATTRACTED TO GIRLS FOR TOTALLY SUPERFICIAL REASONS.

YES, THEY ARE. THEY LIKE GIRLS FROM NEW YORK

WITH BLOND HAIR AND POUTY LIPS

AND BONY ARMS AND BIG BOOBS.

BUT IT GOES BOTH WAYS, DAWSON.

IT GOES BOTH WAYS.

JEN DOES NOT HAVE...

BONY ARMS.

YOU CAN'T STAND THE IDEA

THAT IF A GIRL IS CHOOSING BETWEEN 2 GUYS,

SHE MIGHT NOT CHOOSE THE ROMANTIC DOOFUS

WHO WOOS HER WITH FLOWERS AND CHEESY POEMS, YOU KNOW?

SHE JUST MIGHT CHOOSE THE GUY WHO HAS THE FASTER CAR

OR THE BIGGER BICEP OR... THE BIGGER JOY STICK.

BIGGER JOY STICK?

YES.

OK, JOEY, FIRST OF ALL,

GIRLS ARE ATTRACTED TO ROMANCE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

YEAH. KEEP HOPE ALIVE THERE.

SECOND OF ALL, I DON'T COMPETE WITH OTHER GUYS.

LIKE PACEY AND ME. YOU DON'T SEE US RUNNING AROUND

ARM-WRESTLING EACH OTHER OVER SOME GIRL.

WELL, AS I SAID... YOU DON'T LIKE TO LOSE.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

WELL, PACEY HAS BIGGER BICEPS.

HE DOES NOT!

ARE YOU SURE?

'CAUSE I THOUGHT HE DID.

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

IF GIRLS ARE SO ATTRACTED TO THE ROMANTIC GUYS,

THEN...

WHY WON'T JEN HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

JEN WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME. SHE JUST--

SHE JUST...HASN'T GOTTEN AROUND TO IT.

LET'S WATCH THE MOVIE, JOEY.

THOUGHT IT WAS GIVING YOU A HEADACHE.

THE SHOGUNS IN THE TOKUGAWA ERA SEPARATED CHURCH FROM STATE,

AND THE OKU WAS WHERE--

SORRY I'M LATE, MR. DOUGLAS. MY CAR BROKE D--

SORRY.

OH... I'M SO SORRY.

ANYWAY, THE OKU IS WHERE THE SHOGUN KEPT HIS HAREM.

IT HOUSED 600 WOMEN, ALL IN SERVICE TO ONE MAN.

WHAT? AND--

WHOA. 600?

ANYWAY, SINCE THE EMPEROR WAS IN KYOTO,

THAT MEANT-- I HAVE A QUESTION.

DID YOU SAY THAT 600 CHICKS

WERE ALL IN SERVICE TO JUST ONE DUDE?

WELL, I DIDN'T SAY "CHICKS," BUT YES.

DOES THIS MEAN SEXUAL SERVICE?

SHH! SHH! GRANT.

YES. EACH NIGHT, THE SHOGUN CHOSE

FROM ONE OF HUNDREDS OF CONCUBINES.

NO WAY! THAT'S INTENSE! OH, MY GOD!

ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, SINCE THE EMPEROR WAS IN KYOTO--

HELLO. OVER HERE.

I'LL TAKE QUESTIONS AFTER THE PRESENTATION, GRANT.

RIGHT. NOW, DID THESE CONCUBINES,

DID THEY HAVE TO DOINK THE SHOGUN,

OR COULD THEY SAY, LIKE, "NO DICE"?

IT WAS A GREAT PRIVILEGE TO BE CHOSEN BY THE SHOGUN.

SO THE SHOGUN WAS KINDA LIKE

THE SCHOOL STUD. EVERY CHICK WANTED A PIECE OF HIM, RIGHT?

THEY DIDN'T WANT A "PIECE" OF HIM.

SOUNDS LIKE THEY DID TO ME.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE A LOW IQ.

OOH!

THEY USED TO CALL HIM "OOMPA LOOMPA."

OOMPA LOOM-- WHAT'S THAT?

FROM WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY?

LITTLE GREEN MIDGETS USED TO STIR THE CHOCOLATE?

HA HA HA. NO WAY! HEY, GUYS.

HEY. HI!

SO WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

UH...JUST NOTHIN'.

NADA. NEIN.

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

NO, IT'S--IT'S NOTHING, DAWSON. FORGET ABOUT IT.

HEY, DAWSON, GET PUMPED. IT'S YOUR FAVORITE TIME OF DAY--GYM TIME!

I THINK WE'RE PLAYING B-BALL TODAY. REMEMBER THAT ONE?

IT'S THE ONE THAT'S GOT THAT HOOP UP IN THE AIR. RIGHT?

YEAH. I KNOW HOW TO PLAY BASKETBALL, PACEY.

OH, I KNOW YOU DO, SPORT.

JUST DON'T KICK THE BALL, AND DON'T HIT IT WITH A BASEBALL BAT.

YOU DRIBBLE... LIKE THIS.

OK, FUNNY GUY. YEAH. OK. I'LL SEE YOU LATER AT THE GYM.

ROGER, DODGER.

SEE YOU LATER, JEN.

BYE, PACEY.

OH! I HAVE HEALTH WITH MR. PICKERING NOW...

JUST ANOTHER PERSON IN CAPESIDE

WHO HAS SOME INEXPLICABLE GRUDGE AGAINST ME.

YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE TODAY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

SO WHAT WERE YOU GUYS LAUGHIN' AT?

IT WAS NOTHING, DAWSON, REALLY.

I--I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.

OK.

WHOO. I'M REALLY GLAD IT'S FRIDAY.

SCHOOL'S MAKING ME SO STIR-CRAZY.

LET'S DO SOMETHING WILD THIS WEEKEND,

LIKE RIVER-RAFTING OR JUMP OUT OF A PLANE NAKED.

WE'LL HAVE FUN.

OK.

OK. MMM.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

THE CHEERLEADERS ARE DOING SPLITS IN THE GYMNASIUM.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY BALL WITH A DISTRACTION LIKE THAT?

PACEY, WHAT WERE YOU AND JEN LAUGHING ABOUT BEFORE?

DUDE, YOU'RE FIXATED. MOVE ON.

OBVIOUSLY, IF YOU WON'T TELL ME, YOU WERE TALKING TRASH ABOUT ME.

HEY. I DON'T TALK TRASH. I RECYCLE IT.

WHATEVER. JEN ALREADY TOLD ME YOU GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT ME.

NO, SHE DIDN'T.

SHE DID?

YEAH.

WELL...I GUESS THAT'S COOL.

I MEAN, OOMPA LOOMPA IS NOT THE WORST NICKNAME.

YOU TOLD HER PEOPLE CALLED ME OOMPA LOOMPA?

IT'S NOT SUCH A BIG DEAL. SOMEONE'S BOUND TO TELL HER SOONER OR LATER.

HEY. SHE THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE. SHE REALLY DID.

HEY. DAWSON. YOU'RE NOT A LITTLE OOMPA LOOMPA ANYMORE.

YOU'RE A BIG, BAD, MANLY OOMPA LOOMPA.

ALL RIGHT. PEACE, BROTHER.

WHOA.

TOUGH GUY.

LAST NIGHT, YOUR ASSIGNMENT WAS TO READ AN ARTICLE ON EUTHANASIA.

WHO WOULD LIKE TO COMMENT ON THE ARTICLE?

DANIEL!

UH...THE DOCTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO HEAL, NOT--NOT TO KILL?

YES.

BESIDES BEING IMMORAL,

HELPING A PATIENT TAKE HIS OR HER OWN LIFE

IS COMPLETELY AT ODDS WITH THE PRESCRIBED ROLE OF A PHYSICIAN.

I DISAGREE.

MISS LINDLEY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY RUN CLASSROOMS IN NEW YORK CITY,

BUT HERE AT CAPESIDE, YOU RAISE YOUR HAND UNTIL CALLED UPON.

I'M SORRY. I--I JUST THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS A DISCUSSION.

YOU DISAGREE?

YEAH, I DO.

IF A DOCTOR CAN HELP SOMEONE TO DIE WITH DIGNITY,

I THINK IT'S CRAZY THAT AS A SOCIETY WE WOULD PUT THAT DOCTOR IN JAIL.

DIE WITH DIGNITY?

ISN'T THAT JUST A EUPHEMISM FOR MURDER AND SUICIDE?

NO. IF SOMEONE HAS A TERMINAL ILLNESS,

IF--IF THEY'RE IN TERRIBLE PAIN,

IF IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME,

I MEAN, DON'T YOU THINK THERE COMES A POINT WHEN LIFE IS NO LONGER WORTH LIVING?

LIFE IS GOD'S MOST PRECIOUS GIFT,

AND IT IS HIS DECISION WHEN WE SHOULD GO.

OH, PLEASE. THAT'S ENOUGH.

FOR SOMEONE LYING ON HIS DEATHBED,

LIFE IS NOT A GIFT, LIFE'S A BITCH!

I'M SORRY. I'M-- I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY

THAT FOR SOMEONE-- THIS IS NOT TIMES SQUARE,

MISS LINDLEY.

WE DON'T USE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE HERE.

YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF SATURDAY DETENTION.

ANYBODY ELSE?

FISH STICKS.

THREE HAMBOS.

HEY, LUMBERJACK, THERE'S A LINE,

AND IT STARTS BACK THERE.

LOOK WHO IT IS. YOU KNOW, I DUG YOUR REPORT, JOEY.

I GOT A LOT OUT OF IT.

IT WAS VERY... STIMULATING.

YEAH, WELL, YOU WERE A GREAT HELP.

I ESPECIALLY LIKED IT WHEN YOU CALLED ME STUPID.

I LOVE IT WHEN CHICKS TEASE ME. IT...TURNS ME ON.

YOU KNOW, GRANT, THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU,

BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE JUICED UP ON STEROIDS,

IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN BARGE IN LINE.

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WAITING, AND IT'S RUDE.

YOU'RE KIDDING! DID I BUTT IN FRONT OF YOU?

YEAH, YOU DID.

OH, GUYS! FELLAS,

WE JUST BUTT IN LINE.

GOD, I FEEL TERRIBLE, BUT...

YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?

IT'S...IT'S KINDA LIKE YOUR REPORT.

EXCUSE ME?

WE'RE LIKE THE SHOGUNS, AND THIS SCHOOL,

IT'S LIKE OUR CASTLE.

WHATEVER WE WANT, WE GET.

OH, REALLY?

YOU CAN EITHER BE MY SERVANT...

OR MY CONCUBINE.

SO WHAT'LL IT BE?

OHH!

OOH!

NEITHER.

OHHH. OHHH.

GRANT GOT IT.

ALL RIGHT! TAKE IT OUT!

HIT THE SHOWERS, MEN, LET'S GO!

GOOD GAME.

HEY, DAWSON, LET'S PLAY A LITTLE ONE-ON-ONE.

WHY?

'CAUSE I'M ON A ROLL WITH THE LADIES HERE.

YOU DON'T GET ANY PLAY WHEN YOU'RE SITTIN' ON THE BENCH.

THANKS FOR THE SEX TIPS, CASANOVA. I'M HUNGRY. I WANT TO EAT LUNCH.

IT'S ONLY GONNA BE FOR A COUPLE POINTS. I'LL BUY YOU LUNCH.

WELL, LET'S NOT GET CRAZY. I'LL BUY YOU A FRUIT CUP, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT. OK, OK, I'LL BUY YOU LUNCH, HUH?

YOU GO FIRST.

WHOOP!

DAWSON, WAKE UP. HUH? HUH? COME ON.

RIGHT...LEFT...

HOOH!

HE SHOOTS! HE SCORES!

THE CROWD GOES WILD! AHH!

THIS KID'S OUT FOR IT.

YOU KNOW, DAWSON, I'M REALLY KICKIN' YOUR ASS.

IF YOU WANT TO IMPRESS THE CHEERLEADERS, GO SHOOT FREE THROWS. I'M OUTTA HERE.

HEY, YOU CAN'T LEAVE, MAN, I NEED YOU. YOU MAKE ME LOOK GOOD.

HOW DO I DO THAT?

YOU SUCK WORSE THAN I DO.

YEAH. IT WAS A JOKE, MAN,

I'M KIDDING. YOU CAN STILL BEAT ME. MIRACLES HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.

COME ON, TOSS SOME BALLS, OOMPA LOOMPA.

WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?

I SAID CHECK IT, OOMPA LOOMPA. GOD.

HEY, LADIES. I REALLY LOVE WHAT YOU DID WITH THAT LAST CHEER--

WHAT THE HELL?!

OH, SHOOT!

WHAT HAPPENED?

ARE YOU HURT?

YOU ALL RIGHT?

GIVE HIM SOME ROOM. PACEY.

OH, YOU POOR THING.

WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU, DAWSON?!

YOU COOL OFF TOMORROW IN ALL-DAY DETENTION.

IT'S ENTIRELY UNJUSTIFIED.

NEITHER ONE OF US DESERVES TO BE HERE.

WELL, I DON'T, BUT I KINDA THINK YOU DO.

YOU THINK I DESERVE TO BE HERE?

DAWSON, YOU HIT PACEY IN THE FACE WITH A BASKETBALL.

YOU BROKE HIS NOSE.

I DIDN'T BREAK HIS NOSE.

PACEY'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.

EVER SINCE HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY, HE'S BEEN COPPIN' THIS ATTITUDE.

COME ON. I THOUGHT YOU HAD MORE CONTROL OVER YOUR ANIMAL INSTINCTS.

I WISH. UH... SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THEY CONTROL ME.

LIKE WHENEVER I'M WITH YOU.

COME ON. BETTER GO. DON'T WANT TO BE LATE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

OH, MY GOD, PACEY. LOOK AT YOU.

HOW'S YOUR NOSE?

IT'S BROKEN, THANKS.

OH, MY GOD. THAT MUST HURT.

OH, HEY!

OH! OH! SORRY. SORRY.

OOH, THAT REALLY SUCKS.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU IN DETENTION FOR?

IT'S A LONG, LONG STORY.

WE'VE GOT 8 HOURS.

OH, THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN,

THE 3 OF US, SITTIN' AROUND DOIN' NOTHIN'.

IT'S JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER SATURDAY.

IT'S JUST SO PUNITIVE!

THAT'S WHAT DETENTION IS.

OH, MY GOD.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE ABBY MORGAN.

WELL, WHO'S ABBY MORGAN?

YOU'VE NEVER MET ABBY MORGAN?

THE GIRL IS FROM HELL... LITERALLY.

...APT TO MAKE ME MORE REBELLIOUS.

YOU'RE TURNING ME INTO A JUVENILE DELINQUENT.

IT'S ABOUT SCHOOL POLICY, ABBY.

BUT I COULD BE OUTSIDE DOING GOOD THINGS FOR THE CAPESIDE COMMUNITY,

LIKE HELPING INVALIDS OR PICKING UP LITTER,

INSTEAD OF WASTING THE DAY HERE--

OH, GREAT.

IT'S HOWDY DOODY TIME.

SIT DOWN, ABBY, AND THINK WHY YOU'RE HERE

IN SATURDAYDETENTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.

BUT I COULD BE DOING THAT AT HOME.

YOU COULD PUT ME UNDER HOUSE ARREST.

I COULD JUST SIT IN MY HOUSE ALL DAY LONG

AND THINK, THINK, THINK ABOUT WHAT A BAD PERSON I AM.

ABBY, SHUT UP.

HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO SATURDAY DETENTION.

DETENTION IS NOT ABOUT FUN AND GAMES.

DETENTION IS ABOUT PENANCE.

SIT DOWN, ABBY!

YOU'RE ALL REQUIRED TO STAY HERE IN THE LIBRARY TILL 5:00.

YOU SHOULD BE ASKING YOURSELF THE QUESTION,

"WHAT HAVE I DONE TO GET DETENTION IN THE FIRST PLACE,

AND WHAT CAN I DO TO IMPROVE MY BEHAVIOR?"

SOMEBODY'S MISSING.

IT'S ME. I'M HERE.

JOEY?

HEY, EVERYBODY.

WHAT IS THIS, SOME SORT OF SURPRISE PARTY?

OH, YEAH. SURPRISE. BREAK OUT THE PIÑATA.

SIT DOWN. YOU'RE LATE. AS YOU KNOW,

I'M THE SCHOOL LIBRARIAN.

I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT WORK TO DO IN THE AUDIO-VISUAL ROOM.

IF FOR ANY REASON I HAVE TO COME OUT HERE AND DISCIPLINE YOU,

YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY

SHELVING BOOKS AND SORTING LIBRARY CARDS.

SO. ARE YOU DOWN WITH THE PROGRAM?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE SPENDING THE REST OF THE DAY TOGETHER,

SO GET USED TO IT. AFTER 8 HOURS,

YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE FAMILY.

EIGHT HOURS? WE'RE GONNA MURDER EACH OTHER.

WELL, JUST DON'T GET

ANY BLOOD ON THE BOOKS.

AND I MEAN THAT.

ANYBODY WANT SOME GUM?

YEAH, ACTUALLY.

YEAH.

YEAH, RIGHT. OH, MY GOD, PACEY,

WHAT'D YOU DO TO YOUR BEAK,

GET INTO A CAR ACCIDENT WHILE PICKING YOUR NOSE?

NO, ACTUALLY. THIS CHUMP RIGHT OVER HERE,

HE THREW A BASKETBALL AT MY FACE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE THANKING HIM.

CAN'T LOOK ANY WORSE THAN IT DID BEFORE.

IS THAT WHY YOU'RE IN HERE, DAWSON?

ATTEMPTED MANSLAUGHTER?

HOW ABOUT YOU, PACEY? GET IN TROUBLE

FOR DAMAGING SCHOOL EQUIPMENT WITH YOUR FACE?

HE'S NOT TELLING.

OOH. MUST BE EMBARRASSING.

WHAT DID YOU DO, PACEY? MAKE UP ANOTHER COCKAMAMIE STORY

ABOUT SLEEPING WITH A TEACHER?

NO. AND IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

OOH. SECRETS DRIVE ME CRAZY. COME ON, PACEY.

IF YOU TELL US, I'LL GIVE YOU A PIECE OF GUM.

OH, YOU'RE SO COOL.

WELL, KEEP YOUR BORING LITTLE SECRET.

HOW ABOUT YOU, JEN? WHAT WAS YOUR CRIME?

I SAID "BITCH" IN CLASS.

IT'S JUST MR. PICKERING.

HE'S GOT THIS TOTAL SMALL-TOWN MENTALITY.

SO MANY PEOPLE HERE DO.

I'M SORRY, JEN. IT MUST BE SO HARD FOR YOU, PUTTING UP WITH US SIMPLETONS.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

MUST BE A REAL BITCH FOR YOU.

RRRR. CAT FIGHT. LADIES, IN YOUR CORNERS.

HOW ABOUT YOU, JOEY? WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?

NOT THAT I'M SURPRISED.

I MEAN, INCARCERATION DOES SEEM TO RUN IN YOUR FAMILY.

GO TO HELL. I THINK YOU'RE THE BITCH, ABBY.

OK, MISS BIG APPLE.

IF YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THESE BACKWATER BLACK SHEEPS,

DON'T LET ME STOP YOU.

I SLUGGED GRANT BODEAN.

YOU SLUGGED GRANT BODEAN?

NO. IS THAT WHY HE LEFT SCHOOL EARLY?

YEAH.

OH, MY GOD. THAT IS MORONIC, EVEN FOR YOU.

I MEAN, GRANT BODEAN IS, LIKE, THE KING OF THE SCHOOL

AND A TOTAL FOX.

WHY DID THEY PUT ME IN HERE WITH ALL YOU VIOLENT OFFENDERS?

WHAT'D YOU DO, ABBY? YEAH.

DON'T GO THERE, DAWSON.

OH, COME ON, ABBY. WE TOLD YOU. YEAH.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BLOW YOUR MINDS.

ABBY, WE CAN HANDLE THIS ONE, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T THINK YOU CAN, PINOCCHIO.

OH, REALLY. HIT ME WITH IT.

OK.

YOU EVER BEEN TO THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM?

YEAH.

YOU EVER HEARD OF A LITTLE DRUG CALLED ECSTASY?

YOU EVER HEARD OF AN ORGY?

THAT'S ALL I CAN TELL YOU.

SUFFICE TO SAY THAT SOME PEOPLE IN THIS SCHOOL

AREN'T AFRAID TO EXPERIENCE A LITTLE EROTIC PLEASURE.

BUT...I DON'T KISS AND TELL.

THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.

SORRY.

UH-HUH.

YEAH.

THIS IS SO BREAKFAST CLUB.

BREAKFAST CLUB?

THE JOHN HUGHES MOVIE

WHERE THE 5 KIDS ARE STUCK IN DETENTION ALL DAY?

YEAH. AT FIRST THEY HATE EACH OTHER,

THEN BECOME REALLY, REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.

OH, YEAH. THAT MOVIE STUNK.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THOSE ACTORS?

ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL GOT SOME KIND OF WEIRD THYROID CONDITION,

MOLLY RINGWALD LOST HER GAWKY INGENUE APPEAL,

AND THE REST ARE LANGUISHING

SOMEWHERE IN TV OBSCURITY.

NO WAY! EMILIO ESTEVEZ, HE WAS IN THOSE DUCK MOVIES, REMEMBER?

GOD, THOSE WERE CLASSICS.

SO FUNNY.

HA HA HA.

WHAT?

YOU KNOW, MY BEST FRIEND BACK IN NEW YORK,

HER OLDER SISTER USED TO BABY-SIT FOR ALLY SHEEDY.

OH. YOU MEAN YOU KNOW SOMEBODY

WHO KNOWS SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS ALLY SHEEDY?

YEAH, JEN. YOU'RE JUST SO GLAMOROUS.

OH, WELL, WE CAN'T ALL BE LIKE YOU, ABBY,

HAVING YOUR LITTLE ECSTASY GANG-BANGS

ON THE FLOOR OF THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM.

MRS. TRINGLE?

MRS. TRINGLE.

OH, COME ON.

MRS. TRINGLE?!

MRS. TRINGLE?

WHAT IS IT?

I DO HAVE A BLADDER, YOU KNOW, AND IT'S ABOUT TO BURST.

COULD I PLEASE BE EXCUSED TO GO USE THE BATHROOM?

I'M SURPRISED SHE'S NOT FOLLOWING US INTO THE STALLS.

I MAY BE REACHING,

BUT I THINK THE 4 OF YOU

HAVE SOME WEIRD SEXUAL TENSION DEAL GOING ON.

AM I RIGHT?

I'M SO BORED.

REALLY?

WELL, WHERE'S YOUR ECSTASY, ABBY?

YOU AND I CAN JUST GO ON DOWN TO THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM AND, YOU KNOW--

I DON'T HAVE ANY LEFT, AND IF I DID,

I WOULDN'T WASTE IT ON RUDOLPH, THE RED-NOSED REINDEER.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET RUDOLPH JOIN IN ANY OF YOUR PERVERTED REINDEER GAMES?

HEY, NOW, THERE'S AN IDEA.

GAMES. WE SHOULD ALL PLAY A GAME.

REALLY? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO PLAY? PIN THE TAIL ON THE HO-BAG? HUH?

NO.

WE SHOULD PLAY TRUTH OR DARE.

OH, GOD. OHHH.

PLEASE? I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.

OK. I'LL GO FIRST.

DAWSON, YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL,

AND I'LL SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH.

FORGET ABOUT IT, ABBY.

COME ON, DAWSON, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING

YOU'VE EVER WANTED TO ASK ME?

YEAH. ARE YOU REALLY AN ALIEN, AND WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?

NO. AND EARTH. OK, MY TURN. NOW, WAIT A MINUTE--

NO. THAT WAS YOUR QUESTION. THAT WAS A JOKE.

LOOK, THERE ARE RULES TO THIS GAME, AND YOUR TURN IS OVER.

NOW IT'S MY TURN, AND I WANT TO ASK...

PACEY.

TRUTH OR DARE, PACEY?

ALL RIGHT, ABBY. JUST REMEMBER.

IT'S MY TURN NEXT.

OH, I'M SO SCARED.

TRUTH OR DARE, PACEY?

DARE, TRUTH, I DON'T CARE.

FINE. TRUTH. PACEY,

WHY ARE YOU IN DETENTION?

WELL, IT'S, UH...

IT'S JUST-- UH, YOU SEE--

WELL, YOU-- I WANT A-- I WANT A DARE.

OH, COME ON, PACEY, JUST TELL US.

HEY. I WANT A DARE.

YOU ARE SUCH A WUSS.

FINE.

I DARE YOU...

TO KISS...

ON THE LIPS...

FOR 10 SECONDS...

JEN!

W-WHAT?

UM...

UH-HUH.

WE'RE WAITING.

THIS IS STUPID.

NOBODY WANTS TO PLAY THIS GAME, ABBY.

I--I DO...AND, PACEY, YOU SAID DARE.

YOU BETTER DO AS SHE SAYS.

FINE. FINE. WHAT DO I CARE?

HAHHH...

OK. JOEY...

MISS YOU-BETTER-DO- AS-SHE-SAYS,

WHAT'LL IT BE, TRUTH OR DARE?

NO. YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA-- AH, TA TA HA!

TRUTH OR DARE?

TRUTH.

OK. WHO DO YOU LIKE?

WHO DO I LIKE?

YEAH. SIMPLE QUESTION.

WHO ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH? THE TRUTH.

DID I SAY TRUTH? I--I MEANT DARE.

OH! YOU GUYS ARE SUCH WIMPS.

CAN'T ANY OF YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?

LOOK, I'LL DO ANYTHING. I'LL GO CLIMB THROUGH THE VENTILATION SHAFTS.

OR I'LL GO FLASH MRS. TRINGLE.

OK. PERFECT. THEN IN KEEPING WITH OUR KISSING THEME,

JOEY, I DARE YOU TO KISS ON THE LIPS FOR 15 SECONDS...

DAWSON LEERY.

NO WAY. NO.

PACEY, GROW UP. NO. YOU HAVE TO DO IT, JOEY.

YOU DID SAY YOU'D DO ANYTHING.

FINE. DAWSON, COME HERE.

COME ON.

I'LL KEEP THE TIME.

13...

14...

15.

OK.

SO. ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?

IT'S YOUR TURN, JOEY.

EARTH TO DIMWIT.

COME IN, DIMWIT.

OK.

JEN...

TRUTH OR DARE?

TRUTH.

OK.

OUT OF ALL THE GUYS AT CAPESIDE,

IS DAWSON THE ONE YOU'RE MOST ATTRACTED TO?

DO I LIKE DAWSON THE MOST? YEAH, OF COURSE.

NO, I DIDN'T ASK IF YOU LIKED HIM THE BEST.

I ASKED YOU IF HE'S THE ONE THAT YOU'RE MOST ATTRACTED TO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ATTRACTED TO?

SHE MEANS ATTRACTED, LIKE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED.

YEAH. IS HE THE GUY YOU'RE HOTTEST FOR?

WHEN YOU LOOK AT DAWSON, DO YOU WANT TO JUST JUMP HIS BONES?

OR IS IT THAT YOU LIKE HIS PERSONALITY BEST?

BUT IN TERMS OF LUST, YOU'D RATHER BOINK SOMEBODY ELSE--

I DON'T KNOW, SOMEONE LIKE PACEY?

NO! I LIKE DAWSON.

YEAH, BUT DO YOU LUST FOR HIM?

IT'S A STUPID QUESTION.

WHY IS IT A STUPID QUESTION?

I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH THIS QUESTION.

IT'S A STUPID QUESTION BECAUSE...

IT'S--IT'S A STUPID QUESTION BECAUSE--BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS YES, ALL RIGHT?

OBVIOUSLY, THE ANSWER IS YES.

I LUST FOR DAWSON, OK? I'M HOT FOR DAWSON.

ARE YOU HAPPY, JOEY?

MAYBE IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME--

AH, FORGET ABOUT IT.

WHAT?

JUST TELL ME. I CAN HANDLE IT. WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO TELL ME?

MAYBE IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME DWELLING ON ME AND DAWSON,

YOU MIGHT HAVE A BOYFRIEND OF YOUR OWN.

OH, AND WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE HEAVEN ON EARTH?

TO CALL ONE OF THESE PIGS AT CAPESIDE MY BOYFRIEND,

TO BE SOME PERKY LITTLE CHEERLEADER

WHO GETS PUMPED AND DUMPED BY THE SCHOOL JOCK. YEAH.

HAVE SEX WITH GRANT BODEAN ON THE FLOOR OF THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM.

WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE GREAT?

SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE LESBIAN.

YEAH, I WISH I WAS A LESBIAN.

AND I'M NOT DWELLING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH DAWSON,

SO JUST GET OVER YOURSELF.

OK, I DARE ALL OF US.

AHEM.

TO DO WHAT?

TO FOLLOW ME. IT'S TIME FOR A JAIL BREAK.

YOU REALLY DO HAVE A TWISTED LITTLE IMAGINATION, SAMI.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S TWISTED, KATE.

YOU KNEW THAT UNCLE BO WOULD BE PROTECTIVE OF BILLIE

AND THAT IT WOULD CAUSE PROBLEMS BETWEEN HIM AND HOPE.

YOU KNOW THE PROBLEM HERE.

YOU'RE MISTAKING ME FOR SOMEONE AS DEVIOUS AS YOU.

HOW IS THIS FOR DEVIOUS?

WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO GET CAUGHT.

NO, WE'RE NOT.

MRS. TRINGLE IS IN THERE WATCHING DAYS OF OUR LIVES,

WHICH MEANS SHE'S PROBABLY TAPED A WHOLE WEEK'S WORTH OF SHOWS,

WHICH MEANS SHE'S GOT ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF LEFT TO GO,

WHICH MEANS WE SHOULD HAVE AN HOUR OF FREEDOM.

WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE DOING OUT HERE ANYWAY?

I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE THAT WE PLAY A NEW GAME.

THIS ONE'S A FRIENDLY, FUN-FOR-THE-WHOLE-FAMILY ADVENTURE.

IT'S CALLED GUESS MY BUTT.

GUESS MY BUTT?

OOH. HA HA.

NOW THAT FELT GOOD.

OK, PACEY, IT'S TIME TO PULL UP YOUR PANTS NOW.

ALL RIGHT. AND NOW WE PLAY... GUESS MY BUTT.

THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.

NO. IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY, THERE'S SUBTLE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL OF THEM.

OH. WELL, THIS ONE'S SO PERKY AND PETITE. IT'S GOT TO BE MINE.

HA HA. AND THIS ONE HAS GOT TO BE PACEY'S.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

I CAN JUST TELL.

DUH. 'CAUSE SHE'S CHECKED IT OUT.

DON'T MAKE ME ILL.

OH, PLEASE. SHE CAN'T HELP HERSELF. I MEAN, COME ON,

MY BUTT, REALLY, IT'S LIKE A MAGNET.

CHICKS CAN'T KEEP THEIR EYES OFF IT.

STOP. YOU'RE PATHETIC.

HEY, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.

OF YOU? YEAH, TALK ABOUT DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.

DAWSON, THIS IS SO BLATANT.

THAT'S WHY YOU THREW THE BASKETBALL AT MY NOSE.

AND IT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE SUCH A LITTLE PUKE LATELY.

ME? I'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE A PUKE?

DAWSON, DON'T GET INTO THIS.

HEY, YOU'RE JEALOUS OF ME

BECAUSE I'M A BETTER ATHLETE,

YOU'RE JEALOUS BECAUSE I GOT A BETTER SEX LIFE--

YEAH, PACEY, YOU'RE A REAL DON JUAN.

AT LEAST MY NICKNAME WAS NEVER OOMPA LOOMPA, ALL RIGHT.

THE SAD REALITY, PACEY,

IS THAT YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING.

YOU ARE A TOTAL FAILURE,

AND, NEED I MENTION, THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE SCHOOL.

YOU GUYS, CHILL OUT.

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

I NEVER KNEW WHAT IT DID TO A MAN'S EGO

TO LOSE A BASKETBALL GAME.

I DIDN'T LOSE THAT BASKETBALL GAME.

YOU WANT A REMATCH?

I'LL PLAY YOU ANYTIME, ANYWHERE.

DAWSON, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM GET HIS ROCKS OFF AT MY EXPENSE.

THE GUY HAS SEX ONE TIME, HE THINKS HE'S WILT CHAMBERLAIN.

OH, SO THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT--SEX?

NO. BUT IT IS A LITTLE BIT HUMILIATING.

I'M THE ONE WITH THE GIRLFRIEND. HE'S GIVING ME SEX ADVICE.

HEY, DAWSON, YOU CHICKENING OUT?

COME ON, DAWSON, THIS IS STUPID.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

HMM. THIS'LL BE INTERESTING.

ALL RIGHT, OOMPA LOOMPA,

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT OF TRUTH.

IF I WIN, YOU GOTTA TELL US WHY YOU'RE IN DETENTION.

ME? LOSE THIS?

PLEASE. STAY OFF THE CRACK, PAL.

COME ON. BREAK.

YOUR SHOT. GO. COME ON.

PACEY, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET IT IN THE NET.

MY DOG PLAYS BASKETBALL BETTER THAN YOU TWO.

YEAH, THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS.

WHY DO GUYS ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE OVER EVERYTHING?

OH, YEAH. US SISTERS NEVER COMPETE OVER ANYTHING.

DAWSON, NICE AIR BALL.

SHOULDN'T YOU GO GET SOME POMPOMS AND CHEER YOUR MAN ON?

OH, OK. JOEY, I GIVE UP. YOU WIN.

I KEEP TRYING TO GET YOU TO LIKE ME,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO, IS THERE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHATEVER. I LIKE YOU.

COME ON, JOEY,

I'M NOT A FOOL.

ALL YOUR LITTLE CATTY COMMENTS ARE NOT LOST ON ME.

WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?

ALL I'VE EVER TRIED TO DO IS BE YOUR FRIEND.

Y'ALL CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP FIGHTING OVER THE SAME GUY.

JOEY, IT'S OBVIOUS YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH DAWSON.

YOU'RE WRONG.

I SAW A KISS THAT COULD SET THE ATLANTIC OCEAN ON FIRE.

DON'T TELL ME I'M WRONG ABOUT THAT.

THAT KISS WAS INTENSE.

WHEW.

LOOK, YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT.

AHEM. I'M PARCHED. I'M GONNA GET SOME WATER.

LET'S GO.

HUH?

AM I TOO MUCH FOR YOU...HUH?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

JOEY, I--I KNOW THAT THIS HAS GOTTA BE KIND OF--

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS, OK?

NOT WITH YOU.

I KNOW,

BUT IT'S OK. I...I UNDERSTAND. I--I DO.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?

LIKE WHAT?

SO NICE.

GOD.

IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF YOU WERE JUST--

JUST A TOTAL WENCH, THAT'S ALL.

GOD.

WELL, I'M SORRY.

I GUESS I COULD TRY AND BE MORE OF A WENCH. I...

GUYS, WE GOTTA GET BACK TO THE LIBRARY RIGHT NOW!

NO WAY...

YES!

YOU CHEATED, MAN. IT WAS SO EASY.

SERIOUSLY, IF WE DON'T GET OUR XEROXED BUTTS

BACK TO THE LIBRARY IN THE NEXT 2 MINUTES, WE'RE DOOMED!

HEY, LADIES! YO! YO, YO, LADIES.

THE LOCKER ROOM'S FASTER. COME ON. THIS WAY.

AHH! MRS. TRINGLE.

HOW'S IT HANGING?

IS THERE ANY REASON

I SHOULDN'T GIVE YOU ALL DETENTION NEXT SATURDAY?

YES. WE WERE STARVING. MRS. TRINGLE,

YOU CAN'T KEEP US LOCKED UP HERE IN THIS LIBRARY WITH NO FOOD.

I MEAN, I AM A MEMBER OF AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL.

SO YOU WENT TO THE GYM TO WHAT--EAT A BASKETBALL?

NO. WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WE WERE DOING.

WE WERE DELIRIOUS.

ABBY, IF I HEAR ONE MORE PEEP OUT OF YOU--

MRS. TRI--

HMM?

THESE CARDS NEED SORTING.

OH, MY--

YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON

ARRANGING THE CARDS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

AND PUTTING THEM BACK INTO THAT DRAWER.

IF EVEN ONE CARD IS OUT OF ORDER AT 5:00,

YOU WILL ALL SPEND NEXT SATURDAY WITH ME HERE IN DETENTION.

SO, ARE YOU HIP TO MY LINGO?

ABBY, ARE YOU GONNA HELP OR NOT?

OH, I CAN'T.

I'M SORRY.

I HAVE CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.

HA HA.

LAST ONE.

OH, THANK GOD.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR MYSELF SAY THAT.

WELL...

HOW ARE THOSE CARDS COMING?

OH, GOOD.

WE JUST FINISHED THEM, MRS. TRINGLE.

IT'S 4:30.

YOU SHOULD ALL BE ABLE TO GO HOME SOON.

MRS. TRINGLE...

OHH, YOU HAVE SUCH PRETTY EYES.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT WEARING CONTACTS?

ABBY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FLATTER ME.

YOU'VE SERVED YOUR TIME IN DETENTION.

HOPEFULLY, YOU'VE LEARNED SOMETHING.

EXCESSIVE TARDIES WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AT CAPESIDE.

EXCESSIVE TARDIES?

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ECSTASY, ABBY?

AND THE ORGY ON THE FLOOR OF THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM?

I KNEW THIS. I SAW THROUGH YOUR WHOLE SCHOOL SLUT ROUTINE.

YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR.

TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.

PLEASE, SPARE ME. YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A WHITE-BREAD,

COUNTRY-CLUB GOODY TWO-SHOES

WITH A BAD CASE OF POTTY MOUTH.

OH, NO! PACEY'S ON TO ME.

I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE IN PUBLIC AGAIN.

BIG DEAL.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE THE DAY MORE INTERESTING.

THE QUESTION IS...

WHY ARE YOU IN DETENTION, PACEY?

YEAH. THAT WAS THE DEAL, REMEMBER?

IF YOU LOST THE GAME, YOU'D TELL US WHY YOU'RE IN DETENTION.

PFFFT!

THAT GAME WAS A SHAM.

A DEAL'S A DEAL.

COME ON, PACEY...

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

YEAH, FORGET IT, 'CAUSE...

YOU CAN'T EXPECT PACEY TO FESS UP TO ANYTHING.

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOU COPPING THIS ATTITUDE WITH ME.

LOOK, I WANT TO TRUST YOU, PACEY.

YOU WANT TO TRUST ME?

WHAT, LIKE I'M GONNA STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING?

I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST YOU.

YOU'D DO ANYTHING FOR SEX.

THAT SUCKS, DAWSON.

IS THAT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK? YOU KISS MY GIRLFRIEND--

IT WAS A DARE, DAWSON. THANK YOU.

YOU GUYS WERE TOTALLY INTO IT.

WELL, I WASN'T.

NO OFFENSE. NONE TAKEN.

THAT WHOLE OOMPA LOOMPA THING.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DAWSON,

YOU'VE BLOWN THAT THING SO FAR OUT OF PROPORTION.

MAYBE I HAVE, ALL RIGHT? BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T GET IT.

OOMPA LOOMPA. I HATE THOSE WORDS.

EVERY INSECURITY I HAVE ABOUT MYSELF EXISTS INSIDE THOSE 2 WORDS.

WHEN YOU CALL ME THAT, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE EXPOSING ME.

FOR NOT BEING MR. VARSITY ATHLETE.

FOR NOT BEING...

SEXUALLY EXPERIENCED.

LOOK, I'M A VIRGIN, OK?

I'M NOT SOME BIG SEX STUD LIKE YOU.

BIG SEX STUD?

PLEASE, TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING, DAWSON.

OK.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M IN HERE?

YOU ALL HAVE TO SWEAR

THAT THIS NEVER LEAVES THIS ROOM.

I SWEAR.

CROSS MY HEART.

I SWEAR.

OK.

YESTERDAY...

AFTER YOU TOTALLY BUSTED UP MY NOSE WITH THAT BASKETBALL...

THE CHEERLEADERS WERE BEING REALLY...FRIENDLY TOWARDS ME

AND, UH, YOU KNOW, BANDAGING UP MY NOSE

AND HUGGING ME AND STUFF AND...

I GOT A LITTLE EXCITED.

OH, NO.

IT GETS WORSE.

I, UH...HA HA...

I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM TO RELIEVE THE TENSION, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...

OH, MY GOD.

YEAH.

AND, UH, THE COACH CAME IN

AND WANTED TO CHECK UP ON MY NOSE...

HE SAW A LOT MORE THAN YOUR NOSE, DIDN'T HE?

YEAH, WELL, NEEDLESS TO SAY, THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

THAT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING STORY I'VE EVER HEARD.

THANKS.

SO, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP THROWING BASKETBALLS AT MY FACE NOW, DAWSON?

I THINK IT'S GLARINGLY OBVIOUS

THAT I'M NO DON JUAN ABOUT TO STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

I MEAN, AT LEAST YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

I GOT NOTHING LEFT.

YOU HAVE YOUR HAND.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I WAS TAKING MY FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON YOU. I'M SORRY.

I GUESS I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A REASON WHY...

HAH.

WHAT? A REASON FOR WHAT?

WHY YOU DON'T WANT ME.

WHOA, WAIT...

DAWSON...

I LIKE YOU...SO MUCH.

BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU LIKE ME.

I WANT YOU TO WANT ME.

YOU'RE MY GODSEND, DAWSON,

AND I DON'T THINK I EVEN BELIEVE IN GOD.

THIS SCHOOL'S NOT EXACTLY WELCOMING ME WITH OPEN ARMS, YOU KNOW.

IT FEELS LIKE--LIKE EVERYBODY HERE HATES ME,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. BECAUSE I'M FROM NEW YORK

OR BECAUSE I'M-- I'M DIFFERENT.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE MY WHOLE LIFE HERE

IS JUST ONE GREAT BIG DETENTION THAT I CAN'T ESCAPE,

BUT...BUT THEN I THINK ABOUT YOU...

AND HOW I'VE MET THIS--THIS GREAT GUY

WHO'S SO ROMANTIC AND SO CARING,

AND WHO I LIKE,

AND WHO I WANT SO MUCH.

DAWSON, IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I GET THROUGH THE BAD DAYS.

AND IF YOU THINK THAT I WANT YOU TO BE

SOME BIG VARSITY SEX STUD, THEN YOU'RE CRAZY.

I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WANT TO TAKE THINGS SLOW. I DO.

AND I DON'T WANT TO PRESSURE YOU, JEN. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GUY.

BUT I AM HUMAN. I HAVE HORMONES.

YOU KNOW.

IF I SAID THAT I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOU, I'D BE LYING.

'CAUSE THE THOUGHT CROSSES MY MIND...

ABOUT 1,000 TIMES A DAY.

WHAT, JUST 1,000? THAT'S NOTHING.

PACEY, I'VE BEEN A REAL JERK.

AH, WHEW.

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT YOUR NOSE, ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE.

I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU OOMPA LOOMPA.

IT SHOULDN'T COME AS TOO MUCH OF A SURPRISE,

SEEING AS I'M SUCH A SCREW-UP.

YOU'RE NOT A SCREW-UP.

YEAH, I AM A SCREW-UP,

AND EVERYBODY HERE KNOWS IT.

BUT, UH...DAWSON,

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, MAN.

AND I DON'T WANT TO SCREW THAT UP.

WHEN DID EVERYONE BECOME SO OBSESSED WITH SEX?

AND NOW YOU, TOO, DAWSON.

IF YOU'RE WORRIED THAT EVERYONE'S MORE EXPERIENCED THAN YOU,

YOU CAN JUST REST EASY.

YOU STILL HAVE ONE FRIEND WHO'LL PROBABLY GO TO HER GRAVE A VIRGIN.

JOEY, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

BEFORE WHAT? BEFORE MY BRAIN SHORT-CIRCUITS

AND I START BEDDING DOWN WITH EVERY GUY

WITH A FAST CAR AND BIG BICEPS?

BEFORE YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON.

I HAVE.

JOEY?

I'M SORRY, DAWSON. I DON'T...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

LOOK, I HAVE ALL THESE FEELINGS--

THESE WEIRD FEELINGS--

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT, AND I CAN'T SAY IT.

WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG,

AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME.

EVERYTHING. AND I CAN'T EVEN SAY THIS.

I CAN'T.

AND I JUST FEEL...

REALLY LONELY.

JOEY, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

YES, I AM.

I'M HERE FOR YOU. I WAS HERE FOR YOU IN THE SIXTH GRADE.

I'M HERE FOR YOU NOW, OK?

NOTHING YOU CAN SAY IS GONNA CHANGE THAT. NOTHING.

MAYBE IF YOU'D JUST...

SAY THESE THINGS, THEN...

YOU KNOW, THEY'LL BE OUT IN THE OPEN.

YOUR FEELINGS WON'T BE AS STRONG ANYMORE. YOU KNOW?

YOU--YOU'D BE FREE.

I CAN'T.

'CAUSE IF I SAY THESE THINGS,

I CAN'T EVER TAKE THEM BACK.

IT'LL CHANGE EVERYTHING, AND I CAN'T DO THAT.

I CAN'T.

WELL, EVERYONE...

CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'VE DONE YOUR TIME.

YOU CAN GO HOME NOW.