Original subtitles

OH, GOD, SHE'S PERFECT.

PERFECT?

DAWSON, YOU DISAPPOINT ME.

COME ON, LOOK AT HER. THOSE EYES, THAT HAIR.

I GRANT YOU THAT THE GIRL HAS CERTAIN PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES,

BUT NOTHING SO ORIGINAL OR MYSTERIOUS TO WARRANT PERFECTION.

OK, EASY.

A FACE LIKE THAT LEAVES NOTHING TO THE IMAGINATION.

THE WELL-MAINTAINED GOOD LOOKS

OF AN UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS NEW YORKER--

THERE'S NO MYSTERY THERE.

I CAN SEE HER ENTIRE FUTURE IN THAT FACE.

REALLY?

YEAH.

IN 3 YEARS, HER ABOVE-AVERAGE S.A.T. SCORES

WILL GRANT HER ADMISSION

INTO A SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE,

SOMEWHERE IN NEW ENGLAND

WHERE SHE'LL MAJOR IN...ART HISTORY,

BEFORE RETURNING TO MANHATTAN TO MARRY A BOND TRADER

SHE MEETS SOME SATURDAY AFTERNOON

AT AN AMERICA'S CUP WATCHING PARTY.

WITHIN A YEAR, THEY MOVE TO SUBURBAN CONNECTICUT,

REFURBISH AN OLD FARM HOUSE,

AND RAISE 3 NEUROTICALLY PERFECT CHILDREN.

YOU'VE PUT QUITE A BIT OF THOUGHT INTO THIS.

NOT REALLY. IT'S JUST SO OBVIOUS.

WELL, NOSTRADAMUS, I THINK I'D PREFER

TO LET JEN SURPRISE ME, OK?

SUIT YOURSELF. JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU SOME TIME.

CAN YOU HAND ME THAT "B" ROLL OVER THERE?

BY THE WAY, I'M TAKING SUGGESTIONS

ON WHAT TO GET MY PARENTS FOR A SUITABLE ANNIVERSARY GIFT.

I'M AT A TOTAL LOSS. WHAT DO YOU GET 2 PEOPLE

WHO'VE SPENT EVERY DAY TOGETHER FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS?

OFFHAND, I'D SAY SEPARATE VACATIONS.

UH, DAWSON, I KNOW YOUR CINEMATIC INFLUENCES

ARE STILL EVOLVING,

BUT I NEVERANTICIPATED A RUSS MEYER PHASE.

I DIDN'T SHOOT THIS.

I THINK WE FOUND THE PERFECT ANNIVERSARY GIFT, DAWSON.

WHAT IS THIS?

I DON'T KNOW. I SWEAR, I DIDN'T SHOOT IT. I--

I MUST'VE LEFT THE CAMERA RUNNING

WHEN WE RAN OUT OF THE RUINS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT WITHOUT A CERTAIN QUALITY.

VERY WATCHABLE.

YEAH.

IT'S FUNNY. THAT WOMAN LOOKS FAMILIAR.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

IF YOU BRUSHED HER HAIR OUT OF HER EYES A LITTLE...

AND MAYBE SAT HER BEHIND A BIG SCHOOL DESK...

IT COULD ALMOST BE...

MS. JACOBS.

SO THERE SHE IS, ON TAPE,

DOING IT WITH SOME GUY.

MS. JACOBS, AS IN SIXTH PERIOD ENGLISH MS. JACOBS?

THE VERY SAME.

WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU HAVE A TAPE OF TAMARA?

I'M SORRY, PACEY. I KNOW YOU THOUGHT

SHE WAS SAVING HERSELF FOR YOU, BUT...

I WAS SHOOTING SOME PICKUPS AT THE RUINS WITH JEN,

AND WE ACCIDENTALLY LEFT THE CAMERA RUNNING WHEN WE RAN OUT,

AND THE REST IS PORNOGRAPHIC HISTORY.

GOD, THAT'S REALLY STRANGE.

UM, YOU CAN'T TELL WHO THE GUY IS OR ANYTHING, CAN YOU?

IT'S A STANDARD OVER-THE-SHOULDER SHOT.

WE CAN'T SEE THE GUY'S FACE.

YEAH. SO IF YOU'RE THINKING OF TRACKING HIM DOWN,

JUST LOOK FOR THE GUY WITH THE BROWN HAIR AND THROBBING NECK MUSCLES.

HEY, DAWSON, I THINK I SHOULD GET TO TAKE A LOOK AT THAT TAPE.

SURE. WE'LL ARRANGE A PRIVATE SCREENING FOR YOU.

YEAH, SO YOU CAN FLOG THE BISHOP IN PRIVACY.

THAT'S REALLY CLEVER

HOW YOU TURN ALL THAT SEXUAL REPRESSION INTO HUMOR.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M LATE.

I SHOULD GET GOING BEFORE GRAMS PUTS OUT AN A.P.B.

I'LL WALK WITH YOU. LATER, KIDS.

DAWSON, DON'T FORGET, MAN. I WANNA SEE THAT TAPE.

PERVERT.

PRUDE.

PACEY TALKS A LOT, LIKE HE'S GOT ALL THIS EXPERIENCE.

IT'S A LOT OF BLUSTER.

SOMEONE ONCE SAID THAT THE MORE A PERSON TALKS ABOUT IT,

THE WORSE THEY ARE AT IT.

I HARDLY EVER TALK ABOUT IT.

I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I KEEP STICKING AROUND.

UH, YOU KNOW WHAT, DAWSON?

NOW MAY NOT BE THE BEST TIME FOR THIS.

I TAKE IT WE'RE NOT ALONE.

PRACTICALLY A MENAGE á TROIS.

JUST LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, DAWSON--

REPRESSING DESIRE CAN ONLY MAKE IT MORE POWERFUL.

SO I FIGURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU,

WE ARE IN FOR ONE TITANIC KISS.

IF I CAN SURVIVE THE WAIT.

IT'S NOT WAITING, DAWSON. IT'S ANTICIPATION.

SCREW IT.

DO YOU DO THESE THINGS TO UPSET ME, JENNIFER?

IT WAS ONLY A KISS, GRAMS.

OH, ONLY A KISS.

I SEEM TO REMEMBER A LOT OF TROUBLE BACK IN NEW YORK

STARTING AFTER ONLY A KISS.

YOUR DEFINITION OF TROUBLE IS BROADER THAN ANYONE'S I KNOW.

THEN WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME

WHY YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS SENT YOU HERE?

WHY DON'T YOU REMIND ME AGAIN?

I HAVEN'T HEARD A RECITATION OF MY SINS FOR 15 MINUTES NOW.

I DON'T DO THIS TO TORTURE YOU.

I DO IT SO YOU WON'T STRAY DOWN THE SAME PATH TWICE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, GRAMS? I'M BORED OF THIS--

OF THE WAY WE TALK TO EACH OTHER,

OF THESE CONVERSATIONS WE HAVE THAT GO ROUND AND ROUND

IN THESE INCREDIBLY PEDESTRIAN CIRCLES,

AND WE SAY THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

SO LET'S JUST END THIS RIGHT NOW.

WHAT YOU SAW OUTSIDE WITH ME AND DAWSON, GRAMS, WAS ONLY A KISS.

"ONLY A KISS."

HOW COULD YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE. I SWEAR TO GOD.

YOU'RE KIDDING. AFTER 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE--

NOT 20 YET. NOT UNTIL MONDAY.

HEY, DAWSON, LISTEN TO THIS.

YOUR MOTHER JUST TOLD ME ONLY MOMENTS AGO

THAT SHE HAS NEVER BEFORE

SEEN THIS SCAR UNDERNEATH MY CHIN.

THE ONE YOU GOT FROM THAT MOPED ACCIDENT

10 YEARS AGO UP AT THE CAPE?

YES. THANK YOU, DAWSON. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU SEE THERE? MY SON KNOWS MY FACE BETTER THAN YOU DO.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD START COMING HOME EARLY,

SEE MY FACE IN THE DAYLIGHT FOR A CHANGE.

DON'T BOTHER. I'LL SHOW MYSELF OUT.

PACEY.

PACEY...PACEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THE TAPE.

WHAT TAPE? MS. JACOBS?

YES, THE MS. JACOBS TAPE!

STOP! DUDE, YOU'RE MESSING UP MY DAILIES.

I TOLD YOU I'D SHOW YOU THE TAPE.

YOU COULDN'T WAIT?

NO, I GUESS NOT.

DUDE, I KNEW YOU HAD IT BAD FOR HER, BUT CALM DOWN.

IT'S NOT SUCH A BIG DEAL.

THERE YOU GO... MAD DOG.

DAWSON.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW, MAYBE I HAVEN'T BEEN

ENTIRELY HONEST WITH YOU LATELY.

NOT THAT I'VE LIED TO YOU OR ANYTHING

I'VE JUST WITHHELD SOME DETAILS.

OK.

WELL...I'M NOT...

CURSED WITH SELF-AWARENESS LIKE YOU ARE, DAWSON,

BUT I KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW HOW PEOPLE SEE ME.

I MEAN, I'M NOT THE GUY WHO GETS THE GIRL.

THE GUY WHO TALKS ABOUT GETTING THE GIRL,

BUT NOT THE GUY WHO GETS HER.

ENOUGH PEOPLE SAY THAT STUFF ABOUT YOU,

AND YOU START TO BELIEVE IT YOURSELF.

I'M NOT QUITE FOLLOWING YOU HERE, PACEY.

I GOT THE GIRL THIS TIME, DAWSON.

WHAT?

YEAH. CALL IT THE LAW OF AVERAGES,

CALL IT AN ACT OF GOD, CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT,

BUT I GOT HER.

WHO? WHO? WHO'D YOU GET, PACEY?

OH, MAN...UH...

DAWSON, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT...

THE GUY WITH THE BROWN HAIR

AND THE THROBBING NECK MUSCLES...

THE GUY WITH TAMARA JACOBS, UH...

THAT'S--THAT'S ME.

NO. YEAH.

I'M NOT JUST TALKING THIS TIME, DAWSON,

THOUGH I WISH I WAS 'CAUSE OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD,

I CAN THINK OF ABOUT 40 REASONS

WHY THIS TAPE COULD RUIN MY LIFE,

NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH IS THE EMBARRASSMENT FACTOR.

I MEAN, NO GUY'S FIRST TIME SHOULD BE CAPTURED ON VIDEO.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

I DON'T THINK THERE CURRENTLY EXISTS A WORD TO DESCRIBE MY REACTION.

BUT I LIKE HER, DAWSON. I REALLY DO,

AND IT'S NOT JUST THE SEX, MAN.

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THIS IS TOO IMPROBABLE OR BIZARRE

TO EVER WORK OUT.

BIZARRE MIGHT BE A WORD, YEAH.

YEAH.

UH...THIS...

THIS IS GONNA SOUND A LITTLE STRANGE, BUT...

ON THE TAPE, WAS--

I MEAN...DID I LOOK ALL RIGHT?

PERFORMANCE-WISE, DID I CUT IT, MAN?

YEAH. YOU DID FINE, MAN.

FROM WHAT I COULD TELL, YEAH...

YOU DID FINE.

COOL MAN.

THANKS.

AND, UH... DON'T TELL ANYBODY...

ALL RIGHT.

YOU COULD GET THEM SOME CANDLESTICKS,

A NICE PICTURE FRAME, MAYBE A PIECE OF FOLK ART.

DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY'D LIKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

DAWSON, YOUR PARENTS ARE MIDDLE-AGED, WHITE SUBURBANITES.

THEY LIVE FOR FOLK ART.

YOU SHOULD SEE MY PARENTS LATELY. IT'S DISGUSTING.

HALF THE TIME, THEY'RE MAKING OUT

OR DRY HUMPING IN THE LIVING ROOM.

YOU KNOW, IT'S SAD. I'M ACTUALLY JEALOUS OF MY PARENTS' SEX LIFE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? BLONDIE ISN'T GIVING YOU ANY?

I THOUGHT BY NOW YOU WOULD'VE, UH...

YOU'RE A REAL ROMANTIC, AREN'T YOU, JOEY?

PERSONALLY, I DON'T THINK YOU'LL GET ANYWHERE

UNLESS YOU OFF THE WICKED GRANDMOTHER, BUT...

MOM?

MOM?

DAWSON! HELLO.

JOEY. UM...

WHAT ARE YOU DO-- WELL, THIS IS A SURPRISE.

WHAT BRINGS YOU OUT HERE?

WE'RE JUST DOING SOME SHOPPING.

OH. OH, I'M SORRY. DAWSON, THIS IS--

BOB COLLINSWORTH.

6:00 AND 11:00, RIGHT? RIGHT.

AND JOEY.

HI. REAL THRILL.

LISTEN, YOUR MOM WAS JUST HELPING ME OUT

WITH A LITTLE WARDROBE PROBLEM.

IT SEEMS THE STATION RESEARCH HAS INDICATED

THAT WHILE VIEWERS LIKE ME,

THEY HATE MY SPORT COATS.

ANYWAY, IT'S WONDERFUL TO FINALLY MEET YOU, DAWSON.

YOUR MOTHER'S TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOUR FILM.

BEING A BIT OF AN INDIE FAN MYSELF,

I'D LOVE TO TAKE A LOOK AT IT WHENEVER IT'S DONE.

SURE. OK, YEAH.

BOB, WE REALLY SHOULD GET BACK TO THE PREP SESSION.

SHE'S RIGHT. TAKE CARE.

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU BOTH.

SEE YOU AT HOME, HONEY.

BYE, MOM. GOOD-BYE, JOEY.

IT'S FUNNY. WHEN I FIRST SAW BOB ON TELEVISION,

I THOUGHT HE WAS A REAL TOOL,

BUT I DON'T KNOW. NOW THAT I'VE MET HIM IN PERSON,

HE DOESN'T SEEM SO BAD. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK YOU HAD IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

DARE I ASK?

YOUR WORST FEARS ARE FOUNDED, GRAMS.

I'M GOING TO SEE DAWSON.

AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'M JUST ASKING FOR IT RIGHT NOW,

BUT I WOULD RATHER YOU SAY WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE THINKING

THAN CONTINUE TO LOOK AT ME THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

THAT BOY ONLY WANTS ONE THING FROM YOU.

NO. THAT'S NOT DAWSON AT ALL.

HE'S COMPLETELY SWEET AND HONEST AND ROMANTIC--

AND HIM AND THAT POTTER GIRL--

THE WAY SHE CLIMBS IN AND OUT OF HIS BEDROOM WINDOW.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO HAZARD A GUESS.

DAWSON AND JOEY ARE JUST FRIENDS.

SURE, MAYBE THERE'S SOME OF THAT SEXUAL TENSION THING

THAT HAPPENS WHEN A GUY AND A GIRL HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR SO LONG,

BUT THAT'S AS FAR AS IT GOES.

AND AS FAR AS DAWSON AND ME, GRAMS,

YOU SAW THE ENTIRE HIGHLIGHT REEL YESTERDAY AFTERNOON.

SO I'D BE CORRECT IN ASSUMING

YOU HAVE CERTAIN FEELINGS FOR HIM?

YEAH, YOU WOULD.

WELL, NOTHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT THAT.

I ONLY HOPE YOU CAN AVOID MAKING THE MISTAKES

THAT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW GIRLS YOUR AGE OFTEN MAKE.

YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO GET THAT LAST DIG IN, DON'T YOU?

JENNIFER, YOU EXASPERATE ME.

EVERYTHING I SAY ISN'T MEANT AS CRITICISM.

OH, NO. I KNOW. SOME OF IT'S MEANT AS JUDGMENT.

HEY, TAMARA.

HI! THIS IS A SURPRISE.

WELL, YEAH. I SAW YOU SITTING HERE.

I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME ON OVER.

I'M GLAD YOU DID.

WELL, WHAT YOU READING?

OH, JUST THE APPROVED 10th-GRADE READING CURRICULUM.

I'M TRYING TO CHOOSE THE NEXT BOOK FOR OUR CLASS.

ANY SUGGESTIONS?

YEAH. HOW ABOUT SOMETHING

WITH A LITTLE ACTION IN IT THIS TIME?

ACTION?

YEAH. SEX.

I MEAN, WHAT IS OUR SCHOOL BOARD SO AFRAID OF?

WE'RE PRACTICALLY ADULTS NOW. WE CAN HANDLE THIS STUFF.

A FEW BLUE NOVELS ARE NOT GONNA KILL US.

PACEY, EVERY PIECE OF LITERATURE YOU'LL READ THIS YEAR

WILL HAVE SEX IN IT.

EVERYTHING YOU READ LAST YEAR PROBABLY AS WELL.

YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT REAL SEX.

I MEAN, IT'S SEX AS CAUTIONARY TALE, SEX AS A WARNING.

I'M NOT KIDDING ABOUT THIS.

EVERY TIME SOMEBODY IN ONE OF THOSE BOOKS HAS SEX,

SOMETHING BAD HAS TO HAPPEN TO THEM.

ROMEO AND JULIET-- THEY HAVE SEX,

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY KILL THEMSELVES.

THE SCARLET LETTER? HESTER PRYNNE HAS SEX,

AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SHE'S AN OUTCAST FOR LIFE.

THE GREEK ONE. THE...

OEDIPUS?

YES. THAT ONE. THAT GUY SLEEPS WITH SOME CHICK--

WHO, GRANTED, IS HIS MOTHER.

HE'S SO FREAKED OUT BY IT, HE POKES OUT HIS OWN EYES.

OK? THAT'S NOT REAL LIFE.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT IT HAS BEEN KNOWN TO HAPPEN

THAT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, TWO PEOPLE SLEEP TOGETHER,

THEY ENJOY IT, AND AFTERWARD, EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FINE.

YOU REALLY THINK THAT IS POSSIBLE?

STEVEN?

RAHHRRR!

AAH!

ALL RIGHT? REACTION. I WANT COMPLETE HONESTY.

WELL, IF--

BUT BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING,

JUST KNOW THAT YOUR OPINION MEANS A LOT TO ME,

AND IF YOU HATE IT, I CAN'T EVEN ANTICIPATE

THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL IT MIGHT SEND ME ON.

WELL, MY PATHETIC SHRIEK ASIDE,

I THINK IT'S REALLY GOOD.

VERY PROMISING, AND I'M SURE IT'S GONNA TURN OUT GREAT.

GREAT? REALLY GREAT.

UM, I STILL HAVE A LOT OF PRE-DUBBING TO DO TOMORROW.

I'M DOING IT AT MY MOM'S STATION.

THEY LET ME USE THE EQUIPMENT DOWN THERE WITHOUT TOO MUCH HASSLE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ALONG?

YEAH. THAT SOUNDS COOL.

YEAH? REALLY?

WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED

EVERY TIME I JUMP AT THE CHANCE TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU?

I DON'T KNOW. NATURAL SKEPTICISM PERHAPS?

WELL, GET OVER IT.

NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE HAS TO BE SO COMPLICATED.

YOU KNOW, IN THE OLD MOVIES,

WHENEVER 2 CHARACTERS WERE IN BED TOGETHER,

THE CENSORS ALWAYS MADE ONE OF THEM KEEP ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR.

WHICH I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD

BECAUSE I FIGURED IF THE CHARACTERS WERE CLEVER ENOUGH,

THEY COULD STILL DO ALMOST ANYTHING.

DAWSON...DAWSON...

WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME TO PROVE OUR CENSORS WRONG.

WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE OUR CASE TODAY. ALL RIGHT?

OK.

AAH!

ALL RIGHT. THAT WAS GREAT.

COULD WE SEE THAT WITH PICTURE?

SURE. YEAH.

SEEN YOUR MOM THIS MORNING YET, DAWSON?

NO. I'LL TRACK HER DOWN LATER.

OK, HERE WE GO.

AAH!

WE'LL GO AGAIN. THIS TIME, MORE SHOCK, LESS ANGER.

ALL RIGHT. MORE SHOCK, LESS ANGER. OK.

AA--I'M SORRY, DAWSON. I...

OK. WE'LL TAKE A BREAK.

I'M SORRY IF I WAS BEING

A BIT OF A PERFECTIONIST IN THERE.

I GET LIKE THAT SOMETIMES.

NO. I LIKE A MAN WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS.

REALLY? SORTA LIKE ME?

SORTA.

OH, DAWSON, LOOK. THERE'S YOUR MOM.

COME ON.

LOOK, I KNOW YOUR HEAD MUST BE SPINNING RIGHT NOW, AND...

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE ONE OF THE THINGS YOU'RE THINKING

IS HOW UNFAIR IT IS THAT RIGHT NOW,

WHEN YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE MOST,

YOU'RE KIND OF STUCK HERE WITH LITTLE MORE THAN A SEMI-STRANGER.

BUT WE ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO EACH OTHER,

EVEN IF OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE MORE BANTER THAN REAL TALK.

YOU KNOW, FUN AND SWEET AND EVERYTHING, BUT KIND OF ON THE SURFACE.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS...

IS THAT IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS,

I MEAN REALLY TALK-- EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE--

WELL, I'D REALLY LIKE TO BE THAT PERSON.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

WHAT I SHOULD REALLY DO IS TELL MY DAD.

"DAD, THE WOMAN YOU'RE ABOUT TO CELEBRATE

"20 BLISSFUL YEARS OF MARRIAGE WITH,

"WELL, SHE'S SLEEPING WITH BOB NOW.

"APPARENTLY, THE SCENT OF HIS ICE-BLUE AQUA VELVA

WAS TOO MUCH TO RESIST."

I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S NOT THE BEST IDEA, DAWSON.

I JOKED ABOUT THEM HAVING AN AFFAIR,

BUT I WAS NEVER SERIOUS.

YOU EVER WONDERED

WHAT THE RATE OF ADULTERY IS IN THIS TOWN?

YOUR PARENTS, MY PARENTS.

WE LIVE IN THIS NORMAN ROCKWELL, PICTURE POSTCARD TOWN

WITH WHITEWASHED FENCES AND BEACHFRONT HOUSES, AND UNDERNEATH, IT'S...

DO YOU THINK PEOPLE KNOW?

PEOPLE ALWAYS KNOW.

WELL, WE DIDN'T.

RIGHT?

JOEY?

JOEY, I DIDN'T KNOW.

DID YOU?

YOU KNEW.

YOU--HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING?

WHY? SO YOU COULD HATE ME FOR TELLING YOU?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED.

BESIDES, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD'VE SEEN IT BY NOW.

WHAT?

YOU'RE A PRETTY PERCEPTIVE GUY, USUALLY,

BUT I THINK WE CAN AGREE THAT YOU'VE BEEN A LITTLE PREOCCUPIED LATELY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

BLONDE HAIR, ABOUT THE LAST STAGES OF A "B" CUP.

DON'T TURN THIS INTO A DISCUSSION ABOUT JEN.

JOEY, YOU LIED TO ME.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO...

WHAT, ARE YOU THREATENED BY JEN?

NO, I'M NOT THREATENED. I'M BORED.

SO YOU LIE TO ME TO CURB YOUR OWN BOREDOM.

I WAS TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

NO. WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT THE ACTION OF A FRIEND.

WHAT YOU DID-- AND LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR--

IS DISENGAGE THIS FRIENDSHIP.

NO, DAWSON. I WAS TRYING, AND--

AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO...

STRUGGLING FOR SOMETHING TO SAY, JOEY?

AT A LOSS FOR WORDS? DON'T WORRY.

YOUR ACTIONS ARE FAR MORE ARTICULATE.

BYE! SEE YOU LATER.

HAVE A NICE LIFE.

OH, HI, DAWSON.

HEY, I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE STATION YESTERDAY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA STOP BY AND SAY HI.

THINGS GOT A LITTLE CRAZY, YOU KNOW.

SORRY I MISSED YOU.

HONEY, IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

NO. I'M FINE.

UH-HUH. WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN VERY GOOD

AT DISGUISING THAT LOOK OF PREOCCUPATION YOU GET

WHEN SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU.

OK, LET ME GUESS.

UH, ONE OF THE MANY WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE HAS GOT YOUR HEAD SPINNING.

YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

DAWSON?

YES, WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH?

2 THINGS, ACTUALLY.

FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME,

AND THAT YOU LOOK AT ME AS SOME SEX-CRAZED TEENAGER

LOOKING TO CORRUPT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER,

BUT I WANNA ASSURE YOU THAT'S NOT THE CASE. NOT AT ALL.

WHAT'S THE SECOND THING?

I'M HERE TO PICK UP JEN.

JENNIFER!

MAYBE IT'S ME. MAYBE I HAVE

THESE OLD-FASHIONED IDEAS ABOUT FIDELITY,

WHICH I OBVIOUSLY INHERITED

FROM MY FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY.

OH, I'M SORRY. AM I STARTING TO BORE YOU?

NO.

'CAUSE I THINK I'M STARTING TO BORE MYSELF.

NO, NOT AT ALL, DAWSON.

I'M GLAD WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS.

I WAS A LITTLE HURT EARLIER WHEN YOU WOULDN'T SAY A WORD TO ME,

AND I WAS SURE YOU RAN TO POUR YOUR HEART OUT TO JOEY.

WELL, I WON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.

DO ME A FAVOR, JEN?

PROMISE YOU'LL ALWAYS BE UP FRONT AND HONEST WITH ME.

OK.

THAT'S NOT JUST A PASSING REMARK.

I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT SECRETS DESTROY.

THEY WOUND AND HURT AND KILL AND...

I REALLY WANT US TO HAVE A CHANCE.

OK? NO SECRETS BETWEEN US EVER.

YEAH, YEAH, I MEAN, BUT...

DON'T YOU THINK THAT IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS,

THERE ARE THINGS THAT PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANNA KNOW?

NO, 'CAUSE EVEN IF MY MOM HAD FALLEN

COMPLETELY OUT OF LOVE WITH MY DAD,

THEN SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN HONEST WITH HIM INSTEAD OF--

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.

I MEAN, COME ON. DON'T YOU EVER WONDER WHY 2 MONTHS AGO,

WHY I SUDDENLY COME TO LIVE UP HERE?

YOU TOLD ME IT'S BECAUSE YOUR GRANDFATHER'S SICK,

AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER NEEDED YOUR HELP.

MY GRANDMOTHER'S BEEN AN R.N. FOR THE PAST 40 YEARS.

THE ONLY THING I CAN HELP HER WITH IS STAYING OUT OF HER WAY.

OK. SO WHY ARE YOU HERE?

HONESTY, RIGHT?

YEAH.

MY PARENTS DIDN'T EXACTLY SEND ME UP HERE TO HELP OUT GRAMS.

THEY SENT ME UP HERE

BECAUSE THE CLICHÉS ABOUT TEENAGERS IN THE BIG CITY ARE TRUE.

WHAT CLICHÉS?

COME ON, YOU'VE HEARD THEM.

THEY GROW UP TOO FAST, STAY OUT TOO LATE,

HANG OUT WITH THE WRONG KIND OF PEOPLE, HAVE SEX TOO YOUNG.

AND YOUR PARENTS WANTED TO GET YOU AWAY FROM KIDS LIKE THAT?

NO, DAWSON. I WAS KIDS LIKE THAT.

THE SEX PART?

YEAH.

BOYFRIEND, RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT NOT JUST HIM.

OK, HEH.

SO, ALL THAT STUFF YOU SAID ABOUT BEING A VIRGIN BEFORE,

I SHOULD PROBABLY DISREGARD THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE I'M JUST BEING COMPLETELY SELF-DESTRUCTIVE HERE

BECAUSE I LIKE YOU,

AND I KNOW THE TIMING IS OFF AND EVERYTHING,

BUT THIS IS AT YOUR REQUEST.

AND YOU'RE RIGHT. WE SHOULD BE HONEST,

AND YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO YOU'RE DATING.

YOU'RE OK WITH THIS, RIGHT?

YEAH.

I MEAN, THE WAY YOU WERE TALKING,

I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE MUCH WORSE.

DAWSON?

WHAT?

WOULD YOU HOLD MY HAND?

YEAH. SURE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

HEY...YOU KNOW, I MISSED YOU THIS MORNING.

UH...CAME IN EARLY. MOVIE STUFF, YOU KNOW.

WELL, ANYWAY, AS I'M KIND OF FEELING

LIKE BLOWING OFF MY LAB REPORT,

IF YOU WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE OR SOMETHING?

THAT SOUNDS GREAT, BUT, YOU KNOW,

I'M SO BEHIND IN MY HOMEWORK

I DON'T THINK MY GPA CAN AFFORD IT.

OK, WELL, MAYBE JUST A QUICK STUDY BREAK THEN.

OK. YEAH, I'LL CALL YOU.

YEAH? DEFINITELY. YEAH.

DAWSON, LOOK, ABOUT WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT LAST NIGHT--

JEN, I'VE... REALLY GOT TO GO, OK?

BUT I'LL...TALK TO YOU LATER.

YEAH. LATER.

DO YOU THINK IF SOMEONE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS,

THEY SHOULD TELL BOTH PARTNERS OF THE ARRANGEMENT?

AN INFORMAL SURVEY, PACEY?

OH, NO, I THINK YOU'LL AGREE THAT THIS IS RELEVANT

WHAT WITH STDs AND AIDS RUNNING RAMPANT,

NOT TO MENTION THE MORAL IMPLICATIONS.

NO. I AGREE.

IF YOU WERE INTIMATELY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE,

I'D WANT TO KNOW.

ME!

OH, NO, NO. DON'T TURN THIS AROUND ON ME.

DON'T TURN WHAT AROUND?

THE ISSUE.

OF, UH... AND WHAT IS THAT?

WELL, DO YOU LIKE HIM, OR DO YOU LIKE ME?

HA HA! YOU KNOW, YOU'RE VERY DISARMING

WHEN YOU START SOUNDING YOUR AGE.

I SAW YOU TWO AT LUNCH YESTERDAY AND TODAY AGAIN IN THE HALLWAY

LAUGHING TOGETHER. THE WAY YOU BRUSH HIS ARM.

WHO'S IT GONNA BE, TAMARA,

ME OR MR. GOLD?

YOU KNOW,

I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO BOTHERED BY THIS, PACEY,

BECAUSE I'D HATE TO THINK I HAVE TO CHOOSE.

I MEAN... BENJIE AND I HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

WE LOVE TO TALK ABOUT BOOKS AND AUTHORS AND...

WE'RE BOTH BIG OPERA FANS...

NOT TO MENTION OUR LEGENDARY MAN TROUBLES.

MAN TROUBLES?

YES. APPARENTLY, IN YOUR EXTENSIVE RESEARCH,

YOU FAILED TO DETECT THAT

I'm not exactly Benjie's type.

NO?

NOT UNLESS YOU THINK I BEAR SOME RESEMBLANCE

TO MEL GIBSON.

MR. GOLD IS GAY?

SHH!

THAT'S NOT TO BE REPEATED.

OH, SO, UH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YESTERDAY AT THE CAFE, WHEN I TRIED TO HOLD YOUR HAND...

AND BECAUSE WE WERE IN A PUBLIC PLACE

WHERE ANY NUMBER OF STUDENTS OR TEACHERS OR PARENTS

COULD SEE US, I DIDN'T LET YOU?

OHH...

MM-HMM...

PACEY...

IF YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT US,

IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE SENSE

OUT OF WHAT'SHAPPENING BETWEEN US...

THE BEST I CAN TELL YOU IS SO AM I.

YEAH? REALLY?

YES. REALLY.

HEY.

I THINK YOU OWE ME ABOUT SEVEN-EIGHTHS OF A CONVERSATION.

YEAH, I GUESS I DO.

I MEAN, IT--IT'S PROBABLY JUST MY OWN PATHETIC INSECURITY,

BUT I...WANTED A QUICK POSTMORTEM ON LAST NIGHT,

MAKE SURE YOU'RE OK ON WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT.

YEAH, I'M FINE WITH IT.

REALLY?

YEAH, I MEAN, BESIDES, JEN, IT'S IN THE PAST. IT'S OVER AND DONE WITH.

EVEN IF I REALLY DID HAVE A PROBLEM,

WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT, RIGHT?

YOU CAN TELL ME.

TELL YOU WHAT, JEN?

I REALLY FEEL YOU WANT ME TO SAY SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

WELL, THEN LET ME HELP YOU OUT.

YOU COULD TELL ME WHY YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME ALL DAY,

OR WHAT'S BEHIND THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES,

WHETHER IT'S REPULSION OR JEALOUSY OR COMPLETE DISAPPROVAL

'CAUSE I KNOW I'VE NEVER SEEN IT FROM YOU BEFORE.

YOU COULD TELL ME THAT YOU SUDDENLY FEEL STRANGE ABOUT US,

THAT MAYBE WE NEED A LITTLE BREAK 'CAUSE YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW ME

AND--AND MAYBE YOU NEVER REALLY DID.

OR--

AND NOW I'LL MAKE IT REALLY EASY FOR YOU, DAWSON--

YOU COULD JUST TELL ME IF I'VE LEFT ANYTHING OUT.

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

SO IT WOULDN'T BOTHER YOU?

WHY WOULD IT BOTHER ME?

BECAUSE SHE'S NOT A VIRGIN.

BECAUSE SHE'S HAD SEX WITH OTHER GUYS!

SEE, THIS IS WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT YOU, DAWSON.

IF THE WOMAN THAT I WAS HOT FOR

CAME UP TO ME AND IN SOME CONFESSIONAL WAY

TOLD ME SHE WASN'T A VIRGIN...

DON'T YOU SEE WHAT SHE'S DOING FOR YOU?

NO.

YOU DON'T SEE IT?

I DON'T.

SHE'S GIVING YOU AN "IN," DAWSON.

SHE'S SAYING, "LOOK, I UNDERSTAND,

"YOU'RE A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT MAKING THE FIRST MOVE ON ME

"BECAUSE YOU'RE SOME ROMANTIC

"WHO PUTS WOMEN LIKE ME UP ON A PEDESTAL, SO HERE,

"I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THE GREATEST GIFT

"ANY DESIRABLE WOMAN CAN GIVE

TO A SEXUALLY INEXPERIENCED GUY."

"IN"? EXACTLY!

SHE'S SAYING SHE WANTS IT JUST AS BAD AS YOU DO, MAN.

YOUR CARNAL NEEDS ARE RECIPROCAL.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX, PACEY, IT'S ABOUT ROMANCE.

GOD, YOU'VE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, DO YOU?

YEAH, I DO.

NO, YOU DON'T, BECAUSE WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY

BEFORE THIS WHOLE WORLD-ACCORDING-TO-PACEY SPEECH

IS THAT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SOME STUPID "IN"

OR EVEN GETTING JEN IN THE SACK. IT HAS TO DO WITH ONE THING.

RIGHT. THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SCARED.

LISTEN, DAWSON,

THE JEN LINDLEY

THAT YOU HAVE BUILT UP IN YOUR MIND

DOES NOT ENTIRELY EXIST, OK?

IN YOUR MOVIES, SHE CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT,

BUT IN REAL LIFE, THE SCRIPT'S GOT THROWN OUT.

SO IT SEEMS.

LISTEN...

ALL I CAN SAY IS ENJOY IT, MAN.

LIFE HAS SOME PRETTY UNEXPECTED BENEFITS.

YEAH.

I COULD DO WITHOUT ALL THE UNEXPECTED PLOT TWISTS, THOUGH.

THE VIRGINAL GIRLFRIEND...

WHO'S NOT EXACTLY A VIRGIN.

AND THE HIGH SCHOOL STRIKE OUT ARTIST...

WHO'S NOW HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HIS ENGLISH TEACHER.

THEN THERE'S ALSO THE HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLE

WHO'S CELEBRATING THEIR 20th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TONIGHT

WHO'S REALLY NOT AS HAPPY AS WE THOUGHT.

YEAH.

THAT SUCKS, MAN.

SO, DID YOU TALK TO YOUR MOM?

NOPE. CHANGE OF PLAN.

DAWSON, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA TELL HER.

I'M GONNA TELL MY DAD.

HEY.

HEY. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN.

I'M NOT SURPRISED.

SO TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT, HUH?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG 20 YEARS IS?

AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN INCLUDE THE 4 YEARS YOUR MOTHER AND I DATED.

THERE'S SOMETHING I GOT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT--

MOST OF OUR COLLEGE FRIENDS

ARE ALREADY ON THEIR SECOND MARRIAGES BY NOW.

WE ALL GOT MARRIED AT THE SAME TIME, EARLY 20s,

WHICH IS A LITTLE YOUNG BY TODAY'S--

I ADMIT THERE'S A STRONG POSSIBILITY

THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR THIS--

BUT YOU KNOW, AFTER 20 YEARS,

I CAN STILL SAY THE SAME THING I DID THEN.

I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HER.

DAD...

WHAT?

THERE'S SOMETHING I GOT TO TELL YOU.

SOUND SERIOUS. WHAT IS IT?

IT IS, AND I KNOW THIS IS THE WRONG TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT, BUT--

HI, DAWSON.

I'LL BE READY IN A SECOND, HONEY.

OK, FINE.

UH...DAWSON, I'M LISTENING.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DAD.

HAVE A GREAT TIME.

OH...

THAT I WILL.

HI.

SORRY, THE KITCHEN'S CLOSED.

WELL, IF YOU CAN SURVIVE THE SHOCK,

I ACTUALLY CAME TO SEE YOU.

I NEED SOME ADVICE.

ON WHAT FIELD DO YOU CONSIDER ME AN EXPERT IN?

DAWSON LEERY.

YOU KNOW, I'M SORT OF BUSY HERE

WITH THESE RECEIPTS AND LOCKING UP.

MAYBE WE COULD DO THIS ANOTHER TIME?

I TOLD HIM I WASN'T A VIRGIN.

I THINK I HAVE A MINUTE.

IT'S JUST THAT HE SEEMED SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME

WHICH OF COURSE MADE ME ANGRY AND, UH...

NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE.

WELL...

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT DAWSON.

GRANTED HE'S ARTICULATE FOR HIS AGE,

BUT HE'S NOT EXACTLY MATURE.

I MEAN, HE'S THE CLASSIC ONLY CHILD.

HE POUTS WHEN THINGS DON'T GO HIS WAY,

AND HE ONLY SEES THINGS IN BLACK AND WHITE.

ANYTHING ELSE CONFUSES HIM.

YEAH.

AND WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN,

THERE ARE POPES WHO'VE HAD MORE EXPERIENCE.

I MEAN, THE GUY WAS A SHRIMP UNTIL LAST SUMMER.

TO SAY HIS SEX LIFE IS LIMITED

IS THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE DECADE.

IT'S BARREN.

A DESERT.

I DON'T ENVY YOU

WHAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH, BELIEVE ME.

YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO SCARE ME OFF, ARE YOU?

NO.

I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT EVERY GUY

WHO GROWS UP TO BE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES

WAS PROBABLY A DWEEB WITH GIRLS WHEN HE WAS 15, TOO.

SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

HMM...SAME AS YOU.

I'D GET HURT.

MAD.

CONFUSED.

ASK PEOPLE FOR ADVICE.

MAYBE THE WRONG PEOPLE,

AND THEN I'D WAIT.

FOR WHAT?

FOR HIM TO GROW UP, COME AROUND...

EVERYTHING.

AND HOW LONG DOES THAT TAKE?

OH, DON'T GO BY ME.

I'D PROBABLY BE STUPID ENOUGH TO WAIT FOREVER.

MIND A LITTLE COMPANY?

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

HOW OLD ARE YOU, TAMARA, LIKE, 35?

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

MM. YOU'VE BEEN WITH OTHER GUYS, RIGHT?

SOME, YES.

A LOT?

WELL, NOT A LOT THAT MATTERED.

AND HOW MANY WAS THAT?

THAT MATTERED? YOU WANT NUMBERS?

WELL, LET'S SEE.

THERE WAS ONE IN HIGH SCHOOL,

AND... ONE IN COLLEGE...

AND SINCE THEN, I'D SAY, UH...

THERE'VE BEEN 3.

BUT NO ONE FOR A FEW YEARS.

OH.

GREAT. UM, THANKS.

PACEY.

YEAH?

ABOUT THE ONE IN HIGH SCHOOL?

HMM?

I DIDN'T MEAN MY HIGH SCHOOL.

WELL, IT'S BEEN ANOTHER BUSY WEEK HERE IN CAPESIDE.

LAST 2 PEOPLE

I EVER THOUGHT WOULD AGREE ON ANYTHING

NOW DO.

BOTH GRAMS AND DAWSON OFFICIALLY THINK

I'M A SLUT.

YOU KNOW, BETWEEN YOU AND ME,

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

I MEAN, IN 2 YEARS,

NEARLY 55% OF MY PEERS WILL HAVE HAD SEX,

AND IN 5 YEARS, IT'LL BE ALMOST 100,

AND NOBODY WILL CARE WHEN I DID IT.

BUT AS FOR NOW,

IT'S AN UNFORTUNATE AND MAJOR DEAL.

WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE BY THE TIME YOU WAKE UP,

A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL WITH A SHADY PAST

WON'T BE SUCH A BAD THING.

HANGING OUT WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS?

YEAH. THAT'S WHY YOU WEREN'T INVITED.

PHASERS ON STUN. I COME IN PEACE.

YOU'RE GONNA SCREW IT UP, YOU KNOW.

WHAT?

JEN. SHE CAME AND TALKED TO ME.

I TOLD HER, SIT TIGHT. HE'LL BE BACK.

YEAH, THANKS. I APPRECIATE IT, JOEY.

I EXPLAINED THAT IT'S JUST DISPLACED ANGER,

AND YOU'RE MAD AT YOUR MOM AND DAD.

I'M MAD AT THE WORLD, JOEY.

I'M A TEENAGER.

OH, AND BY THE WAY, WE'RE OLD PALS NOW, BLONDIE AND I,

SO, UH, YOU HAVE ANY MESSAGES YOU WANT TO GET BACK TO HER,

JUST LET ME KNOW--

LOOK, JOEY, WHATEVER YOU'VE DONE, THANKS,

BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.

WITH YOU.

COME ON.

PASSING UP A CHANCE

TO DISH ABOUT THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS?

I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU DID WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

IT IS, EXCEPT I'M NOT SURE THAT WE ARE.

OH.

HOW DROLL.

THE TABLES HAVE BEEN TURNED.

THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT YESTERDAY, JOEY.

IT'S LAST WEEK, LAST MONTH.

IT...EVERYTHING BETWEEN US RECENTLY.

WE JUST...

WE'RE NOT GETTING ALONG THE SAME WAY WE USED TO.

SO THE FRIENDSHIP,

YOU DON'T THINK WE'RE FRIENDS ANYMORE?

OH, I DON'T...

I DON'T KNOW. ARE WE MORE? ARE WE LESS?

I...ALL I KNOW IS, IT'S JUST NOT THE WAY IT USED TO BE.

NOTHING IS ANYMORE.

IT'S CALLED SOCIAL EVOLUTION, DAWSON.

WHAT'S STRONG ENOUGH FLOURISHES,

AND WHAT DOESN'T WE LOOK AT BEHIND GLASS CASES IN SCIENCE MUSEUMS.

YOU AND I?

ARE WE MUSEUM-BOUND?

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

YOU GET ANGRY AT ME TOO EASILY.

YOU'RE WAY TOO CRITICAL OF ME.

YOU KNOW, IN SOME ALTERNATE UNIVERSE,

WE MUST HAVE BEEN MARRIED, LIKE, 50 YEARS.

YEAH, AND I'M SURE IT WAS A WONDERFUL WEDDING.

OH, THE BEST.

WE EACH BROUGHT DATES, I ASSUME.

YEAH, JEN WAS BY MY SIDE THROUGHOUT.

AND AT THE END OF THE EVENING, THE INEVITABLE QUESTION.

WHO DO YOU TAKE HOME?

THE DATE OR THE WIFE?

MMM. A DILEMMA.

BUT FASCINATING.

FACED WITH THE CHOICE, YOU STOOD, SURVEYING YOUR OPTIONS.

YOUR EYES DRIFTED SLOWLY... FROM HER...TO ME...

THEN BACK TO HER...

THEN BACK TO YOU?

YEAH, BUT I WAS OFF HAVING A DRINK WITH THE RICH GUY AT THE BAR.

UNTIL MONEYBAGS GOT FRESH,

AND YOU NEEDED SOMEBODY TO BAIL YOU OUT.

REALLY?

MM-HMM.

I DON'T REMEMBER THAT PART.

OH, I DO, CLEAR AS DAY, ABSOLUTELY.

YOU...WERE DEFINITELY IN NEED OF A RESCUE.

AND WERE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

DID YOU SET ASIDE YOUR CLEARHEADED ANALYSIS OF THE SITUATION AND ACT?

DID WE, UH, DID WE SAVE EACH OTHER THAT NIGHT, DAWSON?

I--YOU KNOW, IT GETS SO HAZY AT THIS POINT,

I--I REALLY CAN'T REMEMBER.

COULDN'T TELL YA.

WELL, WHEN IT COMES BACK TO YOU,

I'D CERTAINLY BE CURIOUS TO HEAR HOW IT ALL ENDED.

YOU'LL BE MY FIRST CALL.

WELL...GOOD NIGHT, DAWSON.

ALL THIS SUBTEXT IS MAKING ME TIRED.

DAWSON?

YEAH?

NO MATTER HOW THE WEDDING TURNED OUT...

I'M PRETTY SURE I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME UP UNTIL THE END.

YEAH.

ME, TOO.

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

STRAIGHT TO THE SMITHSONIAN.