Original subtitles

I KNOW WHAT I SAW.

IT WAS BIG, IT WAS UGLY, AND IT ATTACKED ME,

AND IT'S STILL OUT THERE, JUST WAITING.

I MAY NOT BELIEVE YOU, STEPHANIE,

BUT I BELIEVE IN YOU.

OHH! UHH!

WHAT? WHAT? COME ON!

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY, DAWSON. HE IS JUST TOO REPELLING.

JOEY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KISS HIM.

I CANNOT AND WILL NOT KISS THAT CRETIN.

IT'S A MOVIE. YOU'RE PLAYING A CHARACTER.

IT'S NOT PACEY YOU'RE KISSING.

SO HE'S A SEA SERPENT FROM THE DEEP. CITE THE DIFFERENCE.

BUT YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF HIS EVIL ALTER EGO. YOU'RE IN LOVE.

FORGET IT.

THE MOVIE DOESN'T WORK WITHOUT THE KISS, JOEY. IT'S A LOVE STORY.

IT'S A HORROR MOVIE.

IT'S AN HOMAGE, WITH A HEAVY ALLEGORICAL SLANT.

BUT HE'S SO...

UNKISS-WORTHY.

DO IT FOR ME?

I DON'T WANT TO REGURGITATE ON CAMERA.

WHY DON'T YOU KISS HIM?

BECAUSE MY LIPS ARE RESERVED FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

HAVE YOU KISSED LITTLE "MISS-SOMEONE-ELSE" YET?

THERE'S NO NEED TO RUSH FATE.

WELL, DON'T WAIT AN ETERNITY, DAWSON.

I MEAN, SHE'S FROM NEW YORK, WHERE THINGS TEND TO MOVE FASTER.

WELL, THEN SO HOW ENCHANTING TO MEET A STRAPPING YOUNG MAN

WHO DOESN'T HAVE SEX ON THE BRAIN.

HELPS YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT.

JOEY, YOU HEARD HER FOR HERSELF,

THROUGH HER OWN ADMITTANCE, SHE'S A SELF-PROCLAIMED VIRGIN.

FOR ANOTHER SECOND.

JEN HAPPENS TO BE A BRIGHT, INTELLIGENT YOUNG WOMAN

WHO IS CLEARLY IN CHARGE OF HER OWN BODY.

I'M NOT SUGGESTING LEATHER STRAPS AND CRISCO,

JUST A KISS.

JEN AND I WILL DEFINITELY KISS, DON'T YOU WORRY.

THE QUESTION IS, WILL YOUR LIPS EVER FIND PACEY'S?

I VOTE FOR AN EXTENSIVE REWRITE.

WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD,

BECAUSE YOU DEFINITELY HAVE KISSING LIPS.

WHAT?

CHECK THAT OUT.

YOU GIVE GOOD LIP.

YOU KNOW, JOEY,

YOU COULD ALWAYS JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK OF SOMEONE ELSE.

EXPLAIN TO ME THE CRISCO.

AHEM.

DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE BIG DANCE ON SATURDAY

TO CELEBRATE OUR VICTORY AT THE BIG GAME ON FRIDAY,

EVEN IF WE DON'T KNOW YET IF WE'LL EVEN WIN THE BIG GAME,

BUT THE PLANNING COMMITTEE IS REALLY OPTIMISTIC,

SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

MR. GOLD,

YOU GOT A SEC?

WHAT IS IT, DAWSON?

UM, WELL, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID,

AND YOU WERE RIGHT NOT TO LET ME INTO YOUR CLASS.

I'M GLAD YOU GAVE IT SOME THOUGHT.

I AM, HOWEVER, IN A BIT OF A JAM.

SEE, I HAVE STUDY HALL FIFTH PERIOD IN THE LIBRARY,

AND IT'S--IT'S REALLY CROWDED IN THERE.

IT'S A MAJOR OVERLOAD. IT'S REALLY UNPLEASANT,

YOU KNOW.

AND I TALKED TO MR. GIBBONS ABOUT SWITCHING STUDY HALL,

AND HE SEEMED TO THINK THAT, WITH YOUR PERMISSION,

I COULD JUST SPEND STUDY HALL WITH YOU.

HMM. FIFTH PERIOD.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHEN FILM CLASS IS.

NOW, THAT'S AN UNCANNY COINCIDENCE.

YOU WILL NOT BE PART OF THE CLASS,

YOU WILL SIT IN THE BACK AND BE QUIET,

YOU WILL NOT PARTICIPATE OR INVOLVE YOURSELF IN ANY WAY.

GREAT. GREAT. THANK YOU, MR. GOLD. THANK YOU.

I...I REALLY-- THIS IS--THIS IS A BIG DEAL.

GOOD MORNING, MISS JACOBS.

GOOD MORNING, PACEY.

CAN WE TALK?

UH, YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T YOUR CLASS.

SO, UM, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

NO. WE REALLY NEED TO TALK.

WELL, WE HAVE NOTHING TO DISCUSS,

EXCEPT HOMEWORK, OF WHICH THERE IS NONE.

SO...YOU CAN RUN ALONG.

THERE'S A LOT TO DISCUSS.

WE COULD START WITH THE OPEN-MOUTH KISS, IF YOU LIKE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,

AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO INSIST

THAT YOU LEAVE THIS CLASSROOM IMMEDIATELY.

LISTEN, I'M JUST AS CONFUSED ABOUT THIS AS YOU ARE.

PACEY, PLEASE.

NOTHING HAPPENED.

THERE WAS NO KISS.

PLEASE, DON'T.

YOUR TONGUE WAS IN MY MOUTH.

YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR.

GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.

OK, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO COUNT ON THE FILM CLASS FOR SUPPORT

LIKE I WAS HOPING.

WHICH MEANS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WORK OVERTIME

IF WE WANT TO MEET THE FESTIVAL DEADLINE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT ALL WEEKEND.

JOEY, THIS MEANS NO LIP ABOUT GIVING PACEY LIP.

I'M REACHING A BREAKING POINT WITH THIS WHOLE KISS THING.

LISTEN, I'M NOT ENGORGED WITH THIS EITHER, OK?

IT GOES BOTH WAYS.

JOEY...

MAJOR REVELATION.

ALL RIGHT, I THINK I KNOW A WAY

TO MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST ACTRESS IN THE WORLD.

YOU KNOW HOW YOU DIE AT THE END OF THE MOVIE?

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE SOONER, LIKE TOMORROW?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

OK, YOUR CHARACTER, IN A SURPRISE ATTACK, IS KILLED VIOLENTLY,

BUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL, BUT BRIGHT COUSIN FROM NEW YORK

ARRIVES JUST IN TIME TO FIND YOUR MUTILATED BODY.

YOU KNOW, DUDE, I THINK YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING HERE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE. IF IT MEANS I'M GONNA BE PLAYING--

NO, NO, IT'S PERFECT.

SEE, THIS NULLIFIES THE KISS ISSUE

AND PUTS YOU BACK BEHIND THE CAMERA WITH ME WHERE YOU BELONG.

WELL, BUT, I MEAN, HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY SHOT A LOT OF STUFF

WITH JOEY'S CHARACTER?

IT'S AN EASY COVER. IT'S BETTER THIS WAY.

IT'S SO UNPREDICTABLE. THE AUDIENCE IS NEVER GOING TO SEE IT COMING.

IT'S LIKE JANET LEE IN PSYCHO.

DREW BARRYMORE IN SCREAM.

OH, A RIP-OFF OF A RIP-OFF.

YEAH, I REALLY THINK IT FITS RIGHT IN LINE

WITH THE WHOLE TONE OF THE PIECE, DON'T YOU THINK?

YOU'RE RIGHT, DAWSON.

IT'S PERFECT.

OK, SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME THE STATE OF CATHERINE'S MIND

AS SHE DROVE HEATHCLIFF AWAY.

OH! IT WAS HER TRAGIC AND DYSFUNCTIONAL WAY

OF LETTING HIM KNOW SHE LOVED HIM.

YES, THAT'S THE OBVIOUS INTERPRETATION OF THE MOMENT.

HOWEVER, I THINK IT GOES DEEPER THAN THAT.

FOR SOME REASON, THIS STORY IS REGARDED AS SOME GREAT LOVE STORY.

BUT THE REALITY IS,

THAT HEATHCLIFF AND CATHERINE NEVER BELONGED TOGETHER.

THEY NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER.

CATHERINE WAS ESSENTIALLY A MESS,

HEATHCLIFF WAS BASICALLY A DECENT GUY

WHO HAD A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT LIFE,

AND HE WAS INHERENTLY BETTER OFF WITHOUT SOME WHIMPERING,

MENTALLY UNSTABLE WET RAG FOLLOWING HIM AROUND.

THE WHOLE THING WAS WRONG.

NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

BRONTE SHOULD HAVE SAVED HER INK.

SO, WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE FAST IF WE WANT TO ENTER THE FILM FESTIVAL.

WE CAN MAKE IT. THE SCRIPT IS DONE,

THE MOVIE'S BOARDED,

AND WE DID A LOT OF THE WORK OVER THE SUMMER.

THEN LET'S MOVE ON TO STORY.

HAVE YOU SOLVED YOUR THIRD ACT PROBLEM?

MR. GOLD? YES, DAWSON?

WOULD THAT BE THE BOSTON FILM FESTIVAL?

YES, THAT WOULD BE. THEY HAVE A JUNIOR VIDEO LEVEL COMPETITION.

OK, THE THIRD ACT.

I'VE JUST BEEN INJURED IN THE BIG GAME WITH TYLER,

MY THROWING ARM CRUSHED,

THE BONE BROKEN IN 3 PLACES.

BUT I REFUSE TO TELL THE COACH

BECAUSE HE WON'T LET ME PLAY AT HOMECOMING IF I DO.

NOW, REMEMBER, WE WANT THE AUDIENCE ASKING,

"CAN HE DO IT?

WILL THE TEAM WIN THE BIG GAME?"

REMEMBER, THIS IS AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL,

SO IF ANYBODY HAS ANY QUESTIONS, I WAS THERE, I LIVED IT.

COME TALK TO ME, ALL RIGHT?

HELMETS OF GLORY.

CHRONICLES LAST YEAR'S FOOTBALL SEASON.

AND GET THIS. MR. CLIFF QUARTERBACK HIMSELF

IS WRITING, DIRECTING, AND STARRING IN THIS.

OH, A STREISAND.

THIS IS SERIOUS, JOE.

THEY'RE ENTERING IT IN THE FILM FESTIVAL.

MY FILM FESTIVAL.

THIS IS MY IMMEDIATE COMPETITION.

AND IT'S A SPORTS FILM?

A THIN AND PEDESTRIAN SPORTS FILM.

OH, THE EPITOME OF EVERYTHING YOU'RE AGAINST.

COULD LIFE BE MORE CRUEL?

HI, I'M CLIFF.

HI, I'M JEN.

THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.

I KNOW THAT BEING THE NEW KID CAN BE KIND OF TRAUMATIC.

SO IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO, YOU KNOW,

TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF,

UH, INTRODUCE YOU AROUND,

TAKE YOU OUT...

THAT'S--THAT'S REALLY SWEET OF YOU.

UM, CAN I LET YOU KNOW? I MEAN, I'M STILL GETTING SETTLED AND STUFF.

SURE. SURE, ABSOLUTELY.

AND IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, JEN,

SHORT FOR JENNIFER.

YOU, TOO, CLIFF. SHORT FOR CLIFFORD.

I TOLD YOU, DAWSON. THEY MOVE FAST IN NEW YORK.

DAD.

HEY, DAD,

HAVE YOU SEEN MY CAMCORDER?

FILMING TODAY?

YEAH. JOEY GETS DECAPITATED.

IT'S, UH, IN MY BEDROOM ON THE NIGHT TABLE, YOUR MOTHER'S SIDE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THE TAPE OUT.

YOU CAN GET ARRESTED FOR THAT IN SOME STATES.

UM, I HAVE A QUESTION.

IT'S KIND OF -A GIRL/ -RELATIONSHIP QUESTION,

AND I DON'T WANT IT TO GO TO YOUR HEAD

THAT I'M SOLICITING FATHERLY ADVICE OR ANYTHING.

BUT--'CAUSE I CLEARLY DON'T CONDONE YOURS AND MOM'S PERVERSE SEX LIFE.

BUT I'M NOT TOO PROUD TO ADMIT THAT MY OWN INEXPERIENCE

IS HINDERING MY CURRENT FEMALE RELATIONS.

WELL, WHAT'S THE QUESTION?

MECHANICS OF KISSING.

HOW CAN I HELP?

WELL...

I'M INTERESTED IN TECHNIQUE.

WELL, THERE IS NO TECHNIQUE, DAWSON.

YOU JUST PUT YOUR LIPS TOGETHER AND GO.

YEAH, BUT WHAT MAKES A GOOD KISS?

THE FIRST TIME I KISSED YOUR MOTHER--

AND DON'T GET TOO DETAILED.

AND WE WERE OUT ON A BOAT,

AND YOUR MOTHER'S LIPS WERE CHAPPED FROM THE SUN,

AND SHE ASKED ME IF SHE COULD BORROW MY CHAPSTICK.

SO I TOOK IT OUT,

AND I PUT SOME ON MY LIPS.

AND THEN I LEANED OVER AND KISSED HER.

THE CHAPSTICK WAS REALLY SMOOTH

AND JUST SLID ONTO HER LIPS.

THE SENSATION WAS AMAZING.

I MEAN, THE CHEMISTRY WAS ALREADY THERE, YOU KNOW,

BUT THIS WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT CEMENTED IT, YOU KNOW.

IT WAS UNFORGETTABLE.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, ROMANTIC.

SEE, AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL ABOUT SEX.

WELL, WE STILL JUMPED EACH OTHER.

HA HA. BUT YOU GOTTA HAVE ROMANCE.

IT'S ALL ABOUT ROMANCE...

AND CHAPSTICK.

OK.

BUT THE KISS ITSELF?

WHAT DID YOU DO?

WELL, HERE...

GIVE IT A TRY.

NO.

WELL, COME ON. -THIS IS A BIG FATHER/ -SON MOMENT HERE.

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, MOISTEN YOUR LIPS...

AND GO FOR IT.

HA HA. I DON'T--

WAIT, THE TRICK IS,

IT'S YOUR BOTTOM LIP. YOU GOT TO KEEP IT RELAXED, ALL RIGHT?

YOU--YOU WANT TO LET IT HAVE A MIND OF ITS OWN.

YOU WANT IT TO DANCE

WITH HERS.

GO ON.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

THAT WAS GOOD.

YEAH? YEAH.

COOL.

UM...FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED?

ALL RIGHT.

THANKS.

YES, I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

NO, NO, NO, NO, I CAN'T. HE'S DOWNSTAIRS.

OK, BUT THEN I'M HANGING UP.

HA HA HA HA HA.

OK, I PROMISE. I PROMISE.

LATER. OK, BYE.

JOEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH, I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR DAWSON.

WE'RE FILMING TODAY.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

YEAH,

I'M GONNA GET KILLED TODAY.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

WELL, BE CAREFUL OUT IN THE SUN. IT'S HOT TODAY.

WEAR SUNBLOCK.

WELL, SEE YOU LATER, MRS. LEERY.

YOU, TOO, JOEY.

MRS. LEERY?

HMM?

I KNOW.

STEVEN?

STEVEN?

AAH!

AND, CUT!

BEAUTIFUL.

GUYS, THAT LOOKED REALLY GOOD.

PERFECT. THAT COULD NOT HAVE GONE ANY BETTER.

OHH! JOEY, YOU DIE SO WELL.

DAWSON, COULD WE GET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE,

'CAUSE I SO LOVE THAT IMAGE.

NO, WE'RE BEHIND SCHEDULE. MOVING ON.

HEY, JOEY, LET ME HELP YOU GET THAT BLOOD OFF.

OH, IT'S OK. I THINK I CAN--

NO, COME ON. I DON'T MIND AT ALL.

OOH, LOOKS LIKE IT'S REALLY STUCK ON THERE, DOESN'T IT?

I--I CAN GET IT.

OK.

HERE, LET'S COVER YOU UP.

HERE, GO AHEAD.

YOU HAVE NICE BREASTS.

I MEAN, DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA. I'M COMPLETELY HETERO.

I'M JUST COMMENTING GIRL TO GIRL.

YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE BODY.

I'M TOO TALL.

NO, YOU'RE NOT AT ALL. YOU'RE COMMANDING.

I MEAN, COME ON, I WISH I HAD YOUR STATURE AND YOUR LONG LEGS.

MY BODY'S A MESS.

I MEAN, I'M TOO SHORT, MY HIPS DO THIS WEIRD THING,

AND MY FACE IS SHAPED LIKE A DUCK.

OH, AND I HATE MY BREASTS.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S COMPLETELY NORMAL TO HATE THE WAY YOU LOOK.

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A DUCK.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE NICEST THING YOU'VE SAID TO ME SINCE WE MET.

I'LL TAKE THESE WET THINGS INSIDE.

JOEY, I PLAN TO MAKE IT REALLY HARD FOR YOU NOT TO LIKE ME.

DON'T WORRY. I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR COUSIN.

THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU. I CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH.

MMM...

WHOA. WHOA. CUT!

WHOA, CUT! CUT!

CUT! PACEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

I'M KISSING, MAN. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?

SNORKELING. THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT'S SCRIPTED.

ARE YOU OK? DID HE HURT YOU?

NO, NO, NO, I'M FINE.

IT WAS JUST A KISS, DAWSON.

YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

HONESTLY, I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER, YEAH?

NO! NO, KISS. I'M CUTTING THE KISS. IT'S OUT.

WAIT A SECOND, YOU CAN'T CUT THE KISS.

YES, I CAN. I JUST DID, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S NOT WORKING.

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR OUR NEW CHARACTER

TO BE KISSING HER DEAD COUSIN'S BOYFRIEND, RIGHT?

THE KISS IS OFFICIALLY CUT.

ALL RIGHT, SO THEN IS THAT A WRAP?

'CAUSE I GOT PLANS TONIGHT, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, IT'S A WRAP.

YEAH, ACTUALLY, I SHOULD GET GOING, TOO.

BYE, YOU GUYS.

AND, UH, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO THIS EVENING?

WELL, IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS

IS GONNA BE AT THE SCHOOL DANCE TONIGHT,

AND I PLAN ON ATTENDING.

LUCKY HER.

SO, IN HONOR OF THE SCHOOL DANCE TONIGHT,

I'VE RENTED SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER,

STAYIN' ALIVE, AND GREASE.

IN LIEU OF GOING?

YEAH. IT'LL BE A JOHN TRAVOLTA NIGHT OF INTERPRETIVE EXPRESSION.

SEE, THIS WAY, WE CAN DANCE AND OUR FEET NEVER HAVE TO MOVE.

I CAN'T, DAWSON. I'M SORRY.

YOU HAVE MORE ENTICING PLANS?

UH, ACTUALLY, I'M GOING TO GO TO THE DANCE.

OH.

I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED TO DO THE WHOLE MOVIE NIGHT THING.

NO, IT'S OK.

ARE YOU GOING-- ARE YOU GOING ALONE?

NO. ACTUALLY, UH, CLIFF ELLIOT ASKED ME.

HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY FOR ME TO MEET SOME NEW PEOPLE.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, DON'T LOOK SO DOWN. IT'S NOT LIKE A DATE OR ANYTHING.

HE JUST ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO AND I SAID YES.

OK, WELL, CALL ME CONFUSED,

BUT THAT'S THE DEFINITION OF A DATE, JEN, ISN'T IT?

I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT.

UM, I JUST WANTED TO GO, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN--I MEAN, I'M NEW HERE,

AND IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE FUN.

WHY DON'T YOU DROP BY? WE--WE COULD DANCE.

NO. I GOT A DATE WITH TRAVOLTA.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT HIM.

WELL, SEE YOU LATER.

OK.

SEE YA.

BYE.

CLIFF.

CLIFF ELLIOT!

WHAT'S THAT ABOUT? I DON'T GET IT.

HOW COULD SHE BE ATTRACTED TO HIM? WHAT'S HE GOT?

WELL, WE COULD START WITH HIS CHEST MEASUREMENT AND WORK DOWN.

NO, NO!

NO, NO, BEYOND THE EXTERNAL?

THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON UP HERE. IT'S HEAD FUMES.

THE GUY'S A LIGHTWEIGHT. HIS SCRIPT'S LUDICROUS.

HIS STORY SENSE IS EVEN WORSE.

I DON'T THINK HIS CINEMATIC PROWESS IS THE ATTRACTION, DAWSON.

WHAT KILLS ME IS SHE WAS SO OPEN ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.

LIKE, "WELL, I'M GOING TO THE DANCE WITH CLIFF."

LIKE IT WOULDN'T BOTHER ME.

I RESPECT HER CANDOR AND ALL, BUT IT'S A LITTLE ON THE THOUGHTLESS SIDE.

COMPLETELY THOUGHTLESS.

AT THIS VERY MOMENT, THEY'RE SLOW DANCING.

HER ARMS ARE WRAPPED AROUND HIS WAIST,

AND THEY'RE MOVING TO SOME STUPID, CHEESY EIGHTIES SONG,

AND HE'S WHISPERING THINGS INTO HER EAR

AND IT KIND OF MAKES HER GIGGLE AND TOSS HER HAIR OFF TO THE SIDE.

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, THEIR EYES MEET AND THEY SHIFT AWKWARDLY,

BECAUSE THEY KNOW

IT'S COMING DOWN TO THAT ONE MOMENT AT THE END OF THE NIGHT

WHERE HE LEANS OVER AND TELLS HER WHAT A GREAT TIME HE'S HAD.

HE ASKS HER IF THEY CAN DO IT AGAIN,

AND SHE JUST SMILES IN THAT SEXY, TEASING WAY THAT SHE HAS--

IT'S NOT REALLY TEASING, BUT JUST SEXY--

AND SAYS, "I'D LIKE THAT."

AND THEN THEIR LIPS MEET,

THEIR MOUTHS COME TOGETHER,

THEIR TONGUES FIND EACH OTHER-- AAH! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

YOU'RE SO DRAMATIC.

I DON'T GET IT.

WHAT DID HE DO THAT I DIDN'T DO?

HE ASKED HER OUT?

I'M GOING TO THE DANCE.

WHAT?

I'M GOING TO THE DANCE.

WHAT?

IT'S MY ONLY RECOURSE.

WHY?

BECAUSE JEN IS THERE.

IN THE ARMS OF ANOTHER MAN.

I MEAN, WHY TORTURE YOURSELF?

I'M AN ARTIST. TORTURE IS A PREREQUISITE.

ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?

THINK IT THROUGH, DAWSON.

THIS LITTLE MOVIE PLAY YOU'VE GOT GOING MAY NOT END THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO.

I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE KISSING HER, JOEY,

NOT SOME J. CREW AD.

I CAN DO IT. I CAN MAKE MY BOTTOM LIP DANCE.

TONIGHT, IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

I AM GONNA KISS THE GIRL.

THIS IS SO PATHETIC, DAWSON.

BUT I'M NOT ABOVE WITNESSING YOUR HORMONAL SUICIDE,

SO COUNT ME IN.

GIVE ME 2 SECONDS. I GOT TO CHECK MY HAIR.

OH, WE PROBABLY WON'T DISCUSS THE TELEPHONE UNTIL AFTER DINNER, SO...

I MIGHT BE LATE.

I'LL SHOOT FOR MIDNIGHT.

BYE.

WHOA.

GOOD NIGHT, MRS. LEERY.

JOEY, YOU SCARED ME.

UH...

LOOK, WE NEED TO TALK.

DO YOU REMEMBER MY MOM, MRS. LEERY?

I JUST WANT TO CLEAR UP THIS MORNING.

MY MOM WAS THE BEST.

SHE WAS AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN.

MY DAD, HOWEVER, DIDN'T ALWAYS SEE THAT.

HE CHEATED ON HER FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER,

AND IT TORE HER APART.

CRIPPLING THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND NEARLY DESTROYING THE ENTIRE FAMILY.

WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS, JOEY?

BECAUSE YOUR ACTIONS AFFECT OTHERS.

THEY BLEED INTO THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND YOU AND--

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND--

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

MY MOM GOT CANCER AND DIED. SO YOU DO THE MATH.

YOU KNOW YOUR--

YOUR REASONS FOR DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

THEY CAN'T POSSIBLY OUTWEIGH THE EVERLASTING DAMAGE THAT YOU'RE CREATING.

DOES DAWSON KNOW?

KNOW WHAT?

HOW TO DANCE?

I TOLD HER WE WERE GOING.

I KNOW HOW TO DANCE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

LET'S GO.

HAVE FUN TONIGHT, MRS. LEERY.

FORTUNATELY, THIS IS A VICTORY DANCE.

OH, AND DID YOU MAKE THE WINNING PLAY?

WELL, YOU'RE HERE, AREN'T YOU?

HA HA HA HA.

YOU KNOW, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY EXIT CUE,

BUT SOMEHOW YOU PULLED IT OFF.

I SOLD IT?

YES. YOU'RE SMOOTH, YET UNASSUMING.

IT'S VERY ENDEARING.

IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT?

YEAH, DANCING.

I'M RHYTHMICALLY CHALLENGED.

PROVE IT.

EVENING, MISS JACOBS.

HELLO, PACEY.

HOW ARE YOU THIS EVENING?

WHEW! CONFUSED, PERPLEXED, BEWILDERED, MYSTIFIED.

A THESAURUS OF EMOTION.

YOU KNOW, I'M THE CHAPERON, AND I SHOULD MAKE THE ROUNDS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE TOMORROW?

UH, THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA, PACEY.

YEAH.

OF COURSE IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.

BUT IF THINGS WERE DIFFERENT,

WOULD YOU?

I--I HAVE TO GO.

OH, THEY MAKE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE.

WHAT, EXACTLY, IS YOUR PLAN?

I DIDN'T GET THAT FAR.

WELL, YOU BETTER WRITE SOMETHING QUICK

BECAUSE IN SOME MORAL SECTORS,

WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS KNOWN AS FOREPLAY.

DO YOU DANCE?

NO.

NOW YOU DO.

COME ON.

DAWSON, THIS IS CERTIFIABLE.

IT'S EASY. YOU JUST MOVE AROUND,

SHAKE YOUR ASS BACK AND FORTH.

WE LOST HER.

MAYBE SHE'S WITH YOUR BRAIN.

YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD AT THIS.

HEY, YOU GUYS.

HI.

YOU MADE IT.

YEAH.

GUYS, DO YOU KNOW CLIFF?

HI.

WE HAVE FILM CLASS TOGETHER, RIGHT?

NOT EXACTLY. IT'S MY STUDY HALL BASE.

BUT DAWSON IS A VERY TALENTED FILMMAKER.

MM-HMM. OH, YEAH?

YOU INTO MOVIES?

I DAB.

COOL.

I'LL SEE YA.

THAT WENT BRILLIANTLY.

HEY.

HEY, DAWSON, WHERE YOU BEEN?

I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' ALL OVER FOR YOU.

WELL, YOU KNOW, HERE AND THERE.

I WAS HOPING WE COULD DANCE.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT CLIFF?

WELL, IF YOU'D RATHER DANCE WITH HIM...

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

IT'S A SONG, DAWSON.

IT'S A 3-MINUTE DISTRACTION FROM LIFE. COME ON.

BUT HE MIGHT GET UPSET, YOU BEING HIS DATE AND ALL.

FORGET I ASKED.

JEN...

OOP! SORRY.

THIS IS EMBARRASSING. LET'S BLOW.

NO. I'M ENJOYING MY MISERY.

WHILE YOU STAND HERE ON THE DOCK PONTIFICATING,

THE U.S.S. JENNY IS SAILING FARTHER AND FARTHER OUT TO SEA.

HAVEN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH?

NO. I'M STILL BREATHING.

DAWSON, YOU HARDLY EVEN KNOW THIS GIRL.

I KNOW.

THAT'S THE MAGIC OF IT, JOEY.

I MEAN...

TRUE, JEN STEPPED INTO MY LIFE NOT MORE THAN 2 SECONDS AGO,

BUT, ALREADY, I FEEL THAT CONNECTION,

THAT BOND THAT SAYS WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.

YOU CALL IT WISH FULFILLMENT

A DELUSION OF THE HIGHEST ADOLESCENT ORDER,

BUT, JOEY, I'M TELLING YOU,

SOMETHING PRIMAL EXISTS BETWEEN US.

YOU'RE SCARING ME, DAWSON.

YOU'RE DOING THIS -FRANKENSTEIN/ -HYDE THING.

I MEAN, ONE MINUTE YOU'RE DAWSON.

THE NEXT, YOUR PSYCHO ALTER EGO.

I MEAN, YOU'RE THE SEA CREATURE FROM YOUR OWN MOVIE.

SO BE IT, JOE.

I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT ANY BETTER, JOE.

THE GIRL'S A MYSTERY TO ME,

BUT I FEEL LIKE I'VE KNOWN HER MY WHOLE LIFE.

I MEAN...

IT'S LIKE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU.

I MEAN, SHE CHALLENGES ME THE WAY YOU DO.

SHE COULD BE YOU,

EXCEPT...

SHE'S JEN.

WELL, LET ME JUST REMIND YOU

HOW YOUR LITTLE ALLEGORICAL HORROR MOVIE/ LOVE STORY ENDS.

THE CREATURE DOESN'T GET THE GIRL.

HE DIES A VIOLENT, BLOODY, HORRIBLE DEATH.

REST IN PEACE, DAWSON.

IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU.

WHERE YOU GOING?

I'M ALREADY DEAD, REMEMBER?

IT'S TIME FOR A REWRITE.

EXCUSE ME.

I'D LIKE TO CUT IN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DAWSON?

ACTUALLY, I DON'T WANT TO CUT IN.

I'D LIKE TO TAKE OVER.

I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU, CLIFF,

FOR SHOWING JEN SUCH A GREAT TIME

FOR THE EARLIER PART OF THE EVENING,

BUT I'M HERE NOW IN SOUND MIND AND BODY,

AND I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YEAH. DAWSON, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU AND ME, ME AND HER.

CLIFF, I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE CONFUSING RIGHT NOW,

BUT ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW

IS THAT JEN AND I HAVE SOMETHING GOING ON,

AND IT'S A LITTLE BIT RAW AND UNDEFINED RIGHT NOW,

BUT THIS IS MY ATTEMPT TO CLARIFY THE SITUATION.

SO I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU TO MANLY STEP ASIDE

SO THAT I MIGHT HAVE A MOMENT WITH THE OBJECT OF MY DESIRE.

JEN, WHO IS THIS GUY?

DAWSON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HEY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE, NOW.

OK, THIS IS TOO WEIRD.

NO. I THINK YOU NEED TO GO.

I'M STAYING.

WHAT'S GOING ON, JEN?

YOU WANNA BE WITH THIS GUY?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO?

WHY DON'T YOU GO? AND IF I DON'T?

I HAVEN'T THOUGHT IT THROUGH THAT FAR.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL MAKE IT EASY FOR BOTH OF YOU.

I'LL GO.

THIS COULD EASILY BE THE SINGLE MOST HORRIFIC NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

I'M A SIMP.

JOEY, HOW COULD YOU LET ME DO THAT?

SEE, I KNEW THIS WOULD TURN AGAINST ME SOMEHOW,

IT WOULD ALL BE MY FAULT.

AND, PACEY, MY NONEXISTENT FRIEND.

I'M SORRY, MAN. I WAS OTHERWISE ENGAGED.

AT LEAST I DIDN'T DESERT YOU.

I CAME BACK.

WHO IS THIS MYSTERY WOMAN YOU KEEP ALLUDING TO?

UNFORTUNATELY, THE MYSTERY WOMAN

REMAINS A MYSTERY EVEN TO ME.

YOU KNOW, AT THIS MOMENT,

JEN'S LIPS ARE PROBABLY PRESSING AGAINST CLIFF'S.

DON'T GO THERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS MY STOP, KIDS.

MAÑANA.

HI.

HEY, HON, HOW'D IT GO?

OK.

BROUGHT YOU A DOGGY BAG.

SO, IS DAWSON HOME YET?

NO. I THINK OUR SON IS BUSY KISSING THE GIRL NEXT DOOR

FOR THE FIRST TIME TONIGHT.

OH, SOUNDS ROMANTIC.

YOU REMEMBER OUR FIRST KISS?

OF COURSE I DO. IT WAS OUR FIRST DATE.

YOU TOOK ME TO THE MOVIES,

THE ONE WHERE MARY TYLER MOORE

WAS JUST THIS HORRENDOUS MOTHER.

ORDINARY PEOPLE.

THAT WAS IT.

NO, THAT WASN'T IT.

THAT WAS OUR SECOND DATE.

WAIT. IT WAS IN YOUR CAR AT A STOPLIGHT.

I REMEMBER YOU LEANED OVER, AND YOU KISSED ME.

NO.

YES, IT WAS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T REMEMBER OUR FIRST KISS.

I REMEMBER.

I DON'T THINK YOU REMEMBER.

I REMEMBER EVERY MOMENT.

IT IS THE SINGLE MOST VIVID MEMORY OF MY LIFE THUS FAR.

HONEY, I'M SORRY. IT'S LATE.

I'VE HAD A LONG NIGHT.

AND THERE I WAS GIVING OUR SON ADVICE

ON HOW TO DELIVER THE MOST MEMORABLE KISS,

ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT I'M AN UTTER FAILURE.

MMM!

I KNOW.

WE WENT FOR PIZZA.

IT WAS THAT TERRIBLE RESTAURANT

WHERE YOU RUBBED THE RED PEPPER IN YOUR EYE.

THIRD DATE.

YOU KNOW, YOU JUST NEED TO QUIT.

MMM.

HOW ARE THOSE LIPS?

STILL CHAPPED?

I THINK I NEED A LITTLE MORE.

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING.

MS. JACOBS?

HI, PACEY.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL THIS STRANGE FAMILIARITY CREEPING OVER ME.

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE APPROPRIATE.

GIVE US A CHANCE TO DO IT ALL OVER?

ONLY CHANGE THE ENDING.

I'M SORRY, PACEY, ABOUT MY BEHAVIOR.

I MEAN, THIS IS, WITHOUT QUESTION,

THE MOST ABSURD THING I HAVE EVER DONE,

NOT TO MENTIONPUNISHABLE IN A COURT OF LAW.

IT WAS JUST A KISS.

NO. IT WAS MORE THAN THAT.

LOOK, WHAT I DID WAS DEADLY WRONG,

AND I COULD STAND HERE

AND TRY TO EXPLAIN TO YOU MY HOPELESSLY TROUBLED STATE OF MIND,

BECAUSE YOU DO DESERVE AN EXPLANATION FOR MY BEHAVIOR.

BUT, INSTEAD OF FEEDING YOU 10 YEARS OF THERAPY,

I WAS HOPING THAT MAYBE I COULD GET BY WITH A SIMPLE APOLOGY

AND HOPE THAT I HAVEN'T LEFT ANY PERMANENT SCARS.

I AM SORRY, PACEY.

WHAT I DID WAS WRONG, AND I AM SORRY.

NOW, WHERE DO YOU GET OFF TAKING ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS?

I MAY JUST BE 15,

BUT I'M WELL BEYOND THE AGE OF ACCOUNTABILITY,

MAYBE NOT WITHIN THE CONFINES OF THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM,

BUT, FOR ME.

MY LIPS KISSED BACK...

RIGHT?

I KISSED YOU BACK.

FAIR ENOUGH.

AND, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T REGRET THAT AT ALL.

YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER.

BUT THIS CAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

FROM NOW ON, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS STRICTLY -TEACHER/ -STUDENT.

I--

I WANT THAT CLEAR.

AND IF I WERE TO OBJECT?

WELL, IT'S NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION.

YOU KNOW IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY, PACEY,

FOR ALL THE OBVIOUS AND NOT SO OBVIOUS REASONS.

THIS IS SO UNFAIR, UM...

I'M NOT GOOD WITH GIRLS,

AND--AND I FINALLY MEET SOMEONE...

DON'T WORRY, PACEY, THAT'LL CHANGE.

TRUST ME.

GOOD NIGHT.

WELL...

JOE, LET'S ASSESS.

WHAT DID WE LEARN FROM TONIGHT'S 90210 EVENING?

THAT WE SHOULD ALWAYS STAY HOME ON A SATURDAY NIGHT

AND WATCH MOVIES

BECAUSE THE REMOTE ON THE REWIND OF LIFE

DOES NOT WORK.

NO, IT DOESN'T.

THAT WON'T BE ANY PROBLEM NOW THAT I'VE OFFICIALLY RUINED IT WITH JEN.

IT'S OFFICIALLY OVER.

IT NEVER BEGAN, DAWSON.

YOU KNOW, I DO FEEL LIKE THE MONSTER FROM MY MOVIE.

THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT I CAN'T CONTROL.

IT'S LIKE I HAVE NO BALANCE ANYMORE.

EVERYTHING'S EITHER HIGH OR LOW, HOT AND COLD, BLACK OR WHITE.

THERE'S NO... MIDDLE GROUND ANYMORE.

I MEAN, NOTHING'S JUST OK.

I'M TOO TIRED TO PHILOSOPHIZE, DAWSON.

DO ME A FAVOR?

IF I GET LIKE THIS AGAIN--

AND I'M SURE I WILL BEFORE THIS ADOLESCENT GROWTH PROCESS IS OVER--

NEXT TIME, JUST CHAIN ME TO MY BED

AND WAIT FOR MY MOMENT OF CLARITY TO COME.

CAN I USE LEATHER STRAPS?

NOT UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN THE CRISCO.

YOU ARE SUCH A SPHINCTER.

YOU REALLY ARE.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE SO SELF-AWARE

CAN BE UTTERLY CLUELESS.

OHH.

OH, MAN.

WHAT DO I DO?

IT'S YOUR CALL.

WELL, I'VE PRETTY MUCH BASTARDIZED THE EVENING.

I MAY AS WELL COMPLETE IT.

TILL NO ONE IS LEFT STANDING?

CAN I BAG ON YOU, JOE?

YEAH, YOU CAN BAG.

WISH ME LUCK.

GOOD LUCK, DAWSON.

I HOPE YOU GET YOUR KISS.

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE YOUR TV SET.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

A FIRST?

I AM REALLY ANGRY, DAWSON.

I KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN US.

AND DOES THAT QUESTION HAVE TO BE ANSWERED TONIGHT?

I'M SORRY ABOUT TONIGHT, JEN.

I...

I GOT SCARED.

SCARED I WAS BECOMING THE FRIEND.

OHH, GOD, THE FRIEND.

HOW AWFUL.

IT IS AWFUL.

I FEEL LIKE I'M BECOMING THAT FRIEND

WHO YOU COME OVER AND TELL ALL YOUR BOY ADVENTURES TO.

I DON'T WANT THAT TO BE THE CASE.

I WANT TO BE YOUR... BOY ADVENTURE.

CAN'T YOU BE BOTH?

NO.

NOT AT 15, YOU CAN'T.

IT'S TOO COMPLICATED.

OK.

SO I'M INTERESTED.

IN WHAT?

AN ADVENTURE.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

YOU COULD KISS ME.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY AM A CLICHé, DAWSON.

IN NEW YORK, I WAS MOVING FAST.

I WAS MOVING REALLY, REALLY FAST.

SO FAST I KEPT STUMBLING...

AND FALLING.

BUT H--

HERE I FEEL LIKE, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME,

I'M WALKING AT A STEADY PACE,

AND I'M AFRAID THAT, IF I KISS YOU,

MY KNEES MAY BUCKLE AND I MAY STUMBLE,

AND I--I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT NOW.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?

HERE?

RIGHT NOW?

I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DANCE WITH YOU ALL NIGHT, DAWSON.

SEE...

THE KISS IS JUST THE END RESULT.

IT'S NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

IT'S ALL ABOUT DESIRE AND...

AND WANTING.

AND ROMANCE.

YEAH.

AND ROMANCE.