Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,214 --> 00:00:05,140
* She took the last train *
2
00:00:05,234 --> 00:00:08,869
* Home. *
3
00:00:13,817 --> 00:00:16,410
Max Kingbird! Rock star!
You can do better than that.
4
00:00:16,562 --> 00:00:17,670
Oh, the crowd, not you, Max.
5
00:00:17,821 --> 00:00:19,246
You're awesome. You're a rock star!
6
00:00:19,430 --> 00:00:22,264
Thank you for that enthusiastic response
7
00:00:22,416 --> 00:00:24,675
to a song about my cousin's depression.
8
00:00:24,827 --> 00:00:26,918
I'm gonna take a break now.
9
00:00:26,938 --> 00:00:28,103
Yeah, if you like that song,
10
00:00:28,255 --> 00:00:30,564
wait'll you hear the
one about his dead dog.
11
00:00:31,609 --> 00:00:32,609
Great set, man.
12
00:00:32,610 --> 00:00:33,776
I'm gonna have to up your pay.
13
00:00:34,003 --> 00:00:35,260
I sing for free.
14
00:00:35,279 --> 00:00:36,279
Not anymore.
15
00:00:36,505 --> 00:00:37,780
Here's some curly fries.
16
00:00:38,783 --> 00:00:41,525
Sheila, Carter and I are remodeling.
17
00:00:41,677 --> 00:00:42,787
What do you think about this kitchen?
18
00:00:42,787 --> 00:00:44,511
I'm going for "having our friends over
19
00:00:44,604 --> 00:00:47,105
and making them feel
crappy about their lives."
20
00:00:47,124 --> 00:00:49,774
Well, you know, I used to
be an interior designer,
21
00:00:49,794 --> 00:00:51,018
if you'd like some help.
22
00:00:51,111 --> 00:00:52,277
Oh, I didn't know you did that.
23
00:00:52,296 --> 00:00:54,688
Yes. This was back in
New York in the '70s.
24
00:00:54,707 --> 00:00:59,193
Lots of shag carpeting and
chairs shaped like mushrooms.
25
00:00:59,211 --> 00:01:01,512
My God, we were high.
26
00:01:06,869 --> 00:01:07,869
Hey, Max.
27
00:01:08,037 --> 00:01:10,387
* We'll disappear into the night *
28
00:01:10,556 --> 00:01:12,723
* Just like the sun... *
29
00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:14,149
Dad?
30
00:01:14,301 --> 00:01:16,059
* I don't know... *
31
00:01:16,212 --> 00:01:18,320
Long time no see.
32
00:01:19,398 --> 00:01:20,489
You got big.
33
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,449
Yeah, 30 years'll do that.
34
00:01:24,553 --> 00:01:26,036
Can-can we sit down?
35
00:01:27,723 --> 00:01:28,980
You can. I'm out of here.
36
00:01:29,074 --> 00:01:31,316
* Got to, got to go *
37
00:01:31,335 --> 00:01:33,669
* We got to, got to go... *
38
00:01:34,839 --> 00:01:36,396
That was Max's father?
39
00:01:36,490 --> 00:01:39,341
He left when Max was, like, ten.
40
00:01:39,493 --> 00:01:40,676
This is not good.
41
00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:43,570
Good-looking man, no wedding ring.
42
00:01:43,663 --> 00:01:46,807
I could be your mother
and your mother-in-law.
43
00:01:47,576 --> 00:01:49,935
And it just got worse.
44
00:01:56,009 --> 00:01:57,860
Max, hold on.
45
00:01:58,011 --> 00:01:59,677
I want to talk to you.
46
00:01:59,772 --> 00:02:02,422
Really? How did you even find me?
47
00:02:02,441 --> 00:02:04,849
Your Aunt Joyce posted about your show.
48
00:02:04,943 --> 00:02:06,368
It was "QAnon, QAnon,
49
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,520
my nephew Max is a big-time singer,
50
00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:10,688
QAnon, cat video."
51
00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:13,767
Look, I don't know
what you want from me,
52
00:02:13,936 --> 00:02:16,937
but I got a set to finish and... Guys,
53
00:02:17,030 --> 00:02:19,006
I can see you through the window.
54
00:02:20,217 --> 00:02:23,110
Look, Max, I'm not the guy I used to be.
55
00:02:23,128 --> 00:02:25,112
I quit drinking.
56
00:02:25,205 --> 00:02:26,555
Again?
57
00:02:27,374 --> 00:02:30,300
Oh! Oh, look who's here. I
didn't know you were out here.
58
00:02:30,394 --> 00:02:31,618
I just, uh...
59
00:02:31,711 --> 00:02:35,564
I was at the more shops
and additional parking.
60
00:02:35,674 --> 00:02:37,124
Hi, I'm... I'm Kat.
61
00:02:37,217 --> 00:02:38,475
I'm Max's girlfriend.
62
00:02:38,552 --> 00:02:41,904
Hi, I'm Max's father,
Dan, and, uh, I'm...
63
00:02:42,073 --> 00:02:44,031
Leaving. He's leaving.
64
00:02:45,242 --> 00:02:46,300
Right.
65
00:02:47,078 --> 00:02:51,038
Look, here's my number if
you want to have dinner.
66
00:02:53,158 --> 00:02:54,566
Damn, these guys age well.
67
00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:57,828
Makes me wish I had started
wearing sunscreen years ago.
68
00:02:59,239 --> 00:03:01,757
You know, I'm his girlfriend,
so I'm just gonna take that.
69
00:03:05,821 --> 00:03:08,013
Well, I hope to hear from you, Max.
70
00:03:10,342 --> 00:03:11,992
Are you okay?
71
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:13,343
Yeah, fine.
72
00:03:13,437 --> 00:03:14,770
Are you gonna have dinner with him?
73
00:03:14,997 --> 00:03:15,997
Why would I?
74
00:03:15,998 --> 00:03:17,347
Aren't you curious?
75
00:03:17,499 --> 00:03:18,684
I-I can't deal with this right now.
76
00:03:18,684 --> 00:03:20,517
I have a set to finish... Guys,
77
00:03:20,669 --> 00:03:22,444
I can still see you.
78
00:03:24,673 --> 00:03:26,931
Tell me, what kind of vibe
79
00:03:27,025 --> 00:03:28,266
do you want for your kitchen?
80
00:03:28,285 --> 00:03:31,027
We want it to feel very inviting.
81
00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:34,197
Like, like where Martha
Stewart could roll croissants
82
00:03:34,274 --> 00:03:36,291
and Snoop Dogg can roll a blunt.
83
00:03:36,443 --> 00:03:39,128
Yeah, and the countertops
need to be able to hold
84
00:03:39,279 --> 00:03:41,946
both of our body weights.
85
00:03:41,966 --> 00:03:43,549
No reason.
86
00:03:45,527 --> 00:03:47,043
Here you go, Sheila.
87
00:03:47,138 --> 00:03:48,528
Oh, you're looking clean, man.
88
00:03:48,707 --> 00:03:51,133
You got the second-best
haircut in the room.
89
00:03:51,284 --> 00:03:52,450
Thank you.
90
00:03:52,544 --> 00:03:54,136
Yeah, Max sent him to his stylist.
91
00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:57,213
Oh, she washed my hair,
gave me a shoulder massage,
92
00:03:57,308 --> 00:03:58,807
then she used a blow-dryer,
93
00:03:59,034 --> 00:04:00,625
so I guess I got my first blow...
94
00:04:00,702 --> 00:04:02,869
No, that's different, that's different.
95
00:04:02,888 --> 00:04:04,037
Oh.
96
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:06,723
This is beautiful.
97
00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:08,966
Have you thought of a feature wall,
98
00:04:09,135 --> 00:04:10,877
maybe with reclaimed wood?
99
00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:14,564
I once built a whole
barn out of another barn.
100
00:04:14,716 --> 00:04:16,307
The circle of barns.
101
00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:19,402
That's actually a very good idea.
102
00:04:19,496 --> 00:04:22,482
You know, I would be happy to
give you a hand with construction.
103
00:04:22,482 --> 00:04:24,499
I've built more than just barns.
104
00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:27,894
Hay lofts, horse
paddocks, a Dairy Queen.
105
00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:28,913
Really?
106
00:04:29,064 --> 00:04:32,899
Yeah. The only thing I can't
build is a family of my own.
107
00:04:37,997 --> 00:04:39,348
Morning.
108
00:04:39,575 --> 00:04:41,999
Oh, hey there. Did you get my email?
109
00:04:42,094 --> 00:04:43,760
I did.
110
00:04:43,837 --> 00:04:46,170
I've never gotten an Evite
to take a sexy shower before.
111
00:04:46,264 --> 00:04:48,172
I RSVP'd yes and commented
112
00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:50,584
"I would loofah to join you."
113
00:04:50,602 --> 00:04:53,420
I don't know if your
party is private or not,
114
00:04:53,422 --> 00:04:54,696
but if you want to invite me,
115
00:04:54,923 --> 00:04:56,531
I do now have an email.
116
00:04:56,683 --> 00:05:00,035
It's Gideon, Hezekiah,
Zechariah, Jebediah, Jedidiah,
117
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:01,928
one, two, two, five...
that's Christmas...
118
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:03,997
@aol.com.
119
00:05:04,933 --> 00:05:06,282
So, the same as your Instagram.
120
00:05:07,211 --> 00:05:08,453
Max, have you given any more thought
121
00:05:08,453 --> 00:05:09,786
to having dinner with your dad?
122
00:05:09,938 --> 00:05:12,363
I've been thinking more
about this sexy shower...
123
00:05:12,532 --> 00:05:15,500
that I'm now realizing
is in three weeks.
124
00:05:15,611 --> 00:05:18,778
There's nothing sexier
than planning ahead.
125
00:05:19,890 --> 00:05:21,297
As far as my dad... you're right,
126
00:05:21,392 --> 00:05:23,133
I should probably hear
what he has to say.
127
00:05:23,301 --> 00:05:24,559
But you're coming with me.
128
00:05:24,786 --> 00:05:27,287
- I'm not sitting there alone with him.
- Great. I will set it up.
129
00:05:27,305 --> 00:05:28,805
Mm, more planning.
130
00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:31,215
I'm gonna add it to our shared calendar.
131
00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:33,384
Oh.
132
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:37,480
Roy and Amanda just RSVP'ed
yes to the sexy shower.
133
00:05:37,633 --> 00:05:39,633
Roy and Amanda?
134
00:05:39,651 --> 00:05:41,317
Oh, no.
135
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:43,394
I sent this Evite to my book club?
136
00:05:46,656 --> 00:05:49,674
So after my father passed,
I thought to myself,
137
00:05:49,826 --> 00:05:52,085
"Is teaching mathematics
really my life's purpose?"
138
00:05:52,161 --> 00:05:55,329
No, so I opened a café
where you can get coffee
139
00:05:55,349 --> 00:05:57,257
and muffins and snuggle with cats.
140
00:05:57,409 --> 00:05:58,742
I know you know all this,
141
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,244
but I can't assume he watches the show.
142
00:06:01,337 --> 00:06:03,004
So, how long have you
and Max been together?
143
00:06:03,023 --> 00:06:04,171
About four months.
144
00:06:04,191 --> 00:06:06,566
But we've been best
friends since college.
145
00:06:07,361 --> 00:06:08,601
We still think he's coming?
146
00:06:08,754 --> 00:06:10,587
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
147
00:06:10,605 --> 00:06:12,105
He's just... he's just running late.
148
00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:13,940
You know, he-he booked studio time,
149
00:06:14,109 --> 00:06:16,851
he's recording a demo, trying
to get signed by a label.
150
00:06:16,945 --> 00:06:18,537
He's actually really good.
151
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,795
He's like Elton John
in Tom Brady's body.
152
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,798
Well, definitely better
than the other way around.
153
00:06:24,025 --> 00:06:27,284
I've never been to an
Ethiopian restaurant before.
154
00:06:27,362 --> 00:06:28,544
And I'm loving this.
155
00:06:28,713 --> 00:06:30,697
Microwaves should come
with a preset button...
156
00:06:30,715 --> 00:06:33,141
popcorn, baked potato, hot towel.
157
00:06:34,369 --> 00:06:35,869
You're gonna love the food.
158
00:06:35,887 --> 00:06:38,721
I got a taste for it when
I was working in Africa.
159
00:06:38,874 --> 00:06:41,132
Africa, wow.
160
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,317
Do you miss "the rains"?
161
00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:44,152
Toto?
162
00:06:44,379 --> 00:06:46,379
No? No Toto?
163
00:06:46,398 --> 00:06:48,214
So, Dan, what do you do for living?
164
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,307
Well, you know those big oil pipelines
165
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,476
everyone likes to protest?
166
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,569
Get out. You're an eco-warrior?
167
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,388
Close. I laid the pipes.
168
00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:57,666
- Oh.
- Anyway, now I volunteer for a charity
169
00:06:57,893 --> 00:07:00,243
that brings fresh
water to rural villages.
170
00:07:00,395 --> 00:07:02,003
Oh, that's so inspiring.
171
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,564
You're like Gandhi in Tom Brady's body.
172
00:07:04,582 --> 00:07:07,233
No, please, that guy is so overrated.
173
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,826
Gandhi, not Tom Brady.
174
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,087
Yeah, I mean, Gandhi
beat the British empire,
175
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,832
but Tom Brady beat the 2017
Falcons after being down 28-3
176
00:07:14,926 --> 00:07:17,168
with two minutes left
in the third, so... GOAT.
177
00:07:20,582 --> 00:07:21,690
Oh, no.
178
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:23,082
Everything okay?
179
00:07:23,101 --> 00:07:26,510
Yeah, it's just Max's
session is running long.
180
00:07:26,604 --> 00:07:27,937
He's not gonna be able to make dinner.
181
00:07:28,089 --> 00:07:29,939
Well, I can't say I blame him.
182
00:07:30,091 --> 00:07:31,866
Anyway, it was nice meeting you,
183
00:07:32,093 --> 00:07:34,703
and I'm just glad Max found
someone who makes him happy.
184
00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,020
Wait, hang on.
185
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,598
We're both here. We're both hungry.
186
00:07:38,616 --> 00:07:39,933
Why don't we just have dinner?
187
00:07:39,951 --> 00:07:41,267
Really? You sure?
188
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,713
Yeah, we can talk more
football like, uh, Tom Brady.
189
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:46,105
Too pretty?
190
00:07:46,124 --> 00:07:47,549
Okay. And yes.
191
00:07:48,944 --> 00:07:51,219
All right. What should I have to drink?
192
00:07:51,412 --> 00:07:54,797
They got a keribo, a cheka.
193
00:07:54,950 --> 00:07:56,373
A "spree-tay"?
194
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:59,769
- Uh, that's just Sprite.
- Oh.
195
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,462
This is so good. Max would love this.
196
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,721
Really?
197
00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:13,557
The Max I remember wasn't
an adventurous eater.
198
00:08:13,635 --> 00:08:15,559
He would only eat foods he could draw.
199
00:08:15,653 --> 00:08:19,080
Well, he has certainly
broadened his horizons.
200
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,915
He's traveled all over the world.
201
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,585
He can order chicken nuggets
in 12 different languages.
202
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:25,587
There was a time I
could order whiskey neat
203
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:27,088
in 12 different languages.
204
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,166
Really, you just say, "whiskey neat."
205
00:08:30,318 --> 00:08:33,487
Yeah, Max told me you stopped
drinking. That's great.
206
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:37,657
I've got a little over a year.
It's the longest I've ever gone.
207
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,327
I promised myself I wouldn't reach
out to Max again until it stuck.
208
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,830
I didn't know you
reached out to him before.
209
00:08:43,848 --> 00:08:45,940
Only 30, 40 times.
210
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:49,444
To be fair, a lot of those
were just me drunkenly singing
211
00:08:49,671 --> 00:08:51,671
"Cat's in the Cradle" on his voice mail.
212
00:08:51,689 --> 00:08:54,190
So that's why he hates that song.
213
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,060
Did you ever sing him "Come On Eileen?"
214
00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:58,971
Oh, I had my moments, but
I was never that drunk.
215
00:09:00,883 --> 00:09:02,066
What up, YouTube?
216
00:09:02,293 --> 00:09:05,219
And welcome to the premiere
episode of Hot Lots.
217
00:09:05,238 --> 00:09:06,963
- This is our lot.
- And I'm hot.
218
00:09:07,056 --> 00:09:08,555
Eh, and I'm here, too.
219
00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:10,149
We are gonna document
220
00:09:10,243 --> 00:09:12,485
the amazing transformation of our home.
221
00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:15,063
We're gonna turn this
condominium into a condo-maximum.
222
00:09:15,156 --> 00:09:16,305
That's right.
223
00:09:16,324 --> 00:09:18,157
And if there are any sponsors out there
224
00:09:18,234 --> 00:09:19,661
who want to give us free
stuff, we're open to anything.
225
00:09:19,661 --> 00:09:20,977
Even naming rights.
226
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:24,330
Like, over here could be
the Circuit City doorway.
227
00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:28,575
Or around the corner we can have
the Souplantation laundry nook.
228
00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,929
Yeah. Laundry and farting nook.
229
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:32,931
- What?
- What?
230
00:09:33,082 --> 00:09:34,432
That's why people watch us.
231
00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:36,750
They love those classic Carter moments.
232
00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:41,105
Well, let me introduce
you to our dream team.
233
00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:45,568
Our wonderful designer, Sheila Silver.
234
00:09:47,172 --> 00:09:48,262
Oh, hello.
235
00:09:48,356 --> 00:09:51,357
I... I didn't realize
you'd be filming today.
236
00:09:51,509 --> 00:09:54,953
I wouldn't have worn
this ratty old thing.
237
00:09:56,272 --> 00:10:00,959
And our contractor, Gideon Yoderman.
238
00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:02,110
Hey, y'all.
239
00:10:02,111 --> 00:10:04,370
I am excited about this renovation.
240
00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:07,540
And yes, ladies, I'm single.
241
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:10,710
I enjoy hiking, carpentry, and sex.
242
00:10:10,862 --> 00:10:12,712
Hey, the show is called Hot Lots,
243
00:10:12,864 --> 00:10:14,889
not Gideon Gets His Freak On.
244
00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:18,309
Okay, so, what do we do first?
245
00:10:18,461 --> 00:10:20,369
Well, I know y'all want
to open up this kitchen,
246
00:10:20,463 --> 00:10:23,130
so we need to take
down this entire wall.
247
00:10:23,149 --> 00:10:25,466
We just need to make sure
that there's no duct work,
248
00:10:25,485 --> 00:10:27,301
plumbing, or electrical inside.
249
00:10:27,490 --> 00:10:29,064
So how do we check for all that?
250
00:10:29,217 --> 00:10:32,385
Well, my cousin Ernie would put
one foot in a bucket of water
251
00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:33,736
and then reach his hand inside the wall
252
00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:35,329
to see if he could find anything.
253
00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:37,665
Oh, sorry... my late cousin Ernie.
254
00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:39,392
Well, maybe cousin Ernie
255
00:10:39,394 --> 00:10:42,170
needed a sledgehammer!
256
00:10:45,824 --> 00:10:48,176
Yep, there's electrical inside.
257
00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:07,770
What's going on? Oh, oh, you're awake?
258
00:11:07,846 --> 00:11:08,846
Oh.
259
00:11:08,847 --> 00:11:09,847
Hey.
260
00:11:10,591 --> 00:11:12,291
Oh, I didn't hear you
come in last night.
261
00:11:12,351 --> 00:11:14,260
I had a really interesting
dinner with your dad.
262
00:11:14,353 --> 00:11:15,611
We had Ethiopian food.
263
00:11:15,763 --> 00:11:17,930
Did you know he volunteers
for a charity in Africa?
264
00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:19,856
Also, why don't you like
the song "Come On Eileen"?
265
00:11:19,876 --> 00:11:22,043
That's a heck of a tune.
266
00:11:22,119 --> 00:11:24,695
- Good morning to you, too.
- Sorry.
267
00:11:24,863 --> 00:11:25,938
You just...
268
00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:27,440
You said you were gonna come last night.
269
00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:28,883
What happened?
270
00:11:29,034 --> 00:11:30,443
Well...
271
00:11:30,461 --> 00:11:32,386
I got done recording, I got in my car
272
00:11:32,613 --> 00:11:34,871
and then I realized, "Screw this."
273
00:11:35,149 --> 00:11:36,999
I-I got nothing but
bad feelings for him.
274
00:11:37,151 --> 00:11:39,927
Okay, but it seems like
he's on a good path.
275
00:11:40,078 --> 00:11:42,004
Well, you had one dinner with him,
276
00:11:42,098 --> 00:11:43,914
so you probably know
him better than I do.
277
00:11:44,008 --> 00:11:46,267
Okay. Max, I'm-I'm only pushing this
278
00:11:46,494 --> 00:11:49,845
because I know that you
miss having a dad around.
279
00:11:49,997 --> 00:11:50,997
You wrote that beautiful song
280
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:52,998
about wanting to reconnect with him.
281
00:11:53,017 --> 00:11:55,000
So? Mariah Carey wrote a song called
282
00:11:55,093 --> 00:11:56,610
"All I Want for Christmas Is You,"
283
00:11:56,762 --> 00:11:59,363
but you know she wants
more for Christmas.
284
00:12:01,099 --> 00:12:03,367
Why are you being so stubborn?
285
00:12:06,546 --> 00:12:09,955
I used to wake up on Saturday
mornings to watch cartoons...
286
00:12:10,716 --> 00:12:12,383
... find him passed out on the couch,
287
00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:14,868
turn his head to the side so he
wouldn't choke on his own vomit
288
00:12:14,887 --> 00:12:16,779
and then sit down to watch Scooby-Doo.
289
00:12:17,948 --> 00:12:21,267
He would've died if it
wasn't for this meddling kid.
290
00:12:22,011 --> 00:12:24,645
So please, just drop it.
291
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:26,972
I think you're making a mistake.
292
00:12:27,066 --> 00:12:28,715
What part of "I don't want to see him"
293
00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:29,808
don't you get?
294
00:12:29,885 --> 00:12:31,068
I know you think
295
00:12:31,295 --> 00:12:32,719
the world is all rainbows and cat memes,
296
00:12:32,797 --> 00:12:36,465
but this is my life, Kat, and
it's none of your business.
297
00:12:44,475 --> 00:12:45,749
What's up, cuz?
298
00:12:45,901 --> 00:12:47,142
What's going on here?
299
00:12:47,161 --> 00:12:49,194
You got a court date? A funeral?
300
00:12:49,346 --> 00:12:51,404
Faking a funeral to
get out of a court date?
301
00:12:51,424 --> 00:12:53,816
I was at Grandma's last night.
302
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:55,092
She said she wants me to get a job
303
00:12:55,319 --> 00:12:59,488
where I wear a suit
and tie, so I got one.
304
00:12:59,506 --> 00:13:01,506
Really? What is it?
305
00:13:01,675 --> 00:13:04,351
Vice president of beer distribution.
306
00:13:06,013 --> 00:13:08,163
Here you go, sir.
307
00:13:08,182 --> 00:13:09,982
Distributed.
308
00:13:11,018 --> 00:13:12,167
Hey, Max.
309
00:13:12,336 --> 00:13:13,669
Give me a double shot of tequila.
310
00:13:13,762 --> 00:13:16,196
Sorry, my department only handles beer.
311
00:13:17,617 --> 00:13:19,116
You okay?
312
00:13:19,143 --> 00:13:20,194
Nope.
313
00:13:20,194 --> 00:13:22,361
- This about your dad?
- Yep.
314
00:13:22,513 --> 00:13:24,513
You haven't had a drink
in a couple of months.
315
00:13:24,531 --> 00:13:25,697
Sure the best time to have one
316
00:13:25,791 --> 00:13:28,250
is when your alcoholic
father comes back?
317
00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:30,352
Seems perfect to me.
318
00:13:30,371 --> 00:13:32,963
All right. I can give you a drink.
319
00:13:33,115 --> 00:13:35,874
Or... I can give you a sledgehammer
320
00:13:35,968 --> 00:13:39,027
and you can go to my
place and smash stuff up.
321
00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:42,455
Anybody there gonna have any
big feelings about my life?
322
00:13:42,549 --> 00:13:46,060
If they do, you're
holding a sledgehammer.
323
00:13:51,375 --> 00:13:54,042
If I put this video
on my dating profile,
324
00:13:54,136 --> 00:13:56,044
you think women'll buy that it's me?
325
00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:59,657
Swipe right if you like a
guy who swings a big hammer.
326
00:13:59,808 --> 00:14:02,859
That's gonna attract the naughty girls.
327
00:14:02,995 --> 00:14:04,578
So I'm gonna use it.
328
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,185
What's up, Kat?
329
00:14:11,245 --> 00:14:12,336
Hey, Carter.
330
00:14:12,413 --> 00:14:14,062
Look at this.
331
00:14:14,156 --> 00:14:16,398
Who goes to a bar and
leaves this behind?
332
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:19,760
Was it a mistake, was it a warning?
333
00:14:20,495 --> 00:14:21,995
What are you looking at?
334
00:14:22,134 --> 00:14:25,010
- What's it to you, chump?
- Aah!
335
00:14:28,532 --> 00:14:29,548
Have you seen Max?
336
00:14:29,642 --> 00:14:31,700
He went to our place
to help with the demo.
337
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:33,385
He seemed pretty upset.
338
00:14:33,537 --> 00:14:36,462
Do you ever see somebody
making a mistake,
339
00:14:36,482 --> 00:14:39,224
but you just don't
know how to help them?
340
00:14:40,711 --> 00:14:42,227
Is this about Max and his dad?
341
00:14:42,321 --> 00:14:43,803
Yeah.
342
00:14:43,823 --> 00:14:46,156
Max could finally have
a father in his life,
343
00:14:46,308 --> 00:14:48,175
but he just won't
even give him a chance.
344
00:14:48,177 --> 00:14:51,219
There's a better chance
that dummy's body walks over,
345
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,313
grabs his head and walks out of here.
346
00:14:53,407 --> 00:14:55,958
What I'm saying is
that's not gonna happen.
347
00:14:57,319 --> 00:14:58,544
Right?
348
00:15:01,131 --> 00:15:02,174
Why not?
349
00:15:02,174 --> 00:15:04,842
I can't tell you how many times a day
350
00:15:04,993 --> 00:15:08,328
I wish I had just five
more minutes with my dad.
351
00:15:08,422 --> 00:15:11,089
You want more time with your dad.
352
00:15:11,925 --> 00:15:14,601
That doesn't mean Max
wants the same thing.
353
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:17,521
But maybe it's about what he needs.
354
00:15:17,672 --> 00:15:20,749
What he needs is a
girlfriend who supports him.
355
00:15:20,809 --> 00:15:21,859
I support...
356
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,903
The way he wants you to.
357
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,031
Okay.
358
00:15:29,443 --> 00:15:31,184
But I just want to leave
open the possibility
359
00:15:31,203 --> 00:15:33,445
that everybody's wrong but me.
360
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,282
- Thank you, Carter.
- Hey, anytime.
361
00:15:37,376 --> 00:15:40,860
* Never loved a girl like you. *
362
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,713
Hi, Carter.
363
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:44,464
Aah!
364
00:15:47,219 --> 00:15:50,036
Well, how about that?
365
00:15:50,055 --> 00:15:53,039
My video of me swinging my sledgehammer
366
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:56,301
in my tank top has gotten
me quite a few likes.
367
00:15:56,470 --> 00:15:57,470
Swipe right,
368
00:15:57,563 --> 00:15:58,970
swipe right...
369
00:15:59,064 --> 00:16:00,731
Oh, I know her.
370
00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:02,382
Swipe right.
371
00:16:02,401 --> 00:16:03,549
Hey, Max, you feeling better?
372
00:16:03,644 --> 00:16:05,551
I really do care about
your mental health,
373
00:16:05,571 --> 00:16:06,978
but I also could use
my bathroom demo-ed.
374
00:16:07,072 --> 00:16:09,573
Oh, Carter didn't say anything
about redoing the bathroom.
375
00:16:09,724 --> 00:16:12,576
No, he didn't, but once
Max knocks down a wall down,
376
00:16:12,603 --> 00:16:13,985
I mean, we got to do something.
377
00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,396
I was thinking maybe
a walk-in steam shower
378
00:16:16,415 --> 00:16:18,490
with chromotherapy
light, eight body jets,
379
00:16:18,642 --> 00:16:19,808
and 16-inch rain shower.
380
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:21,919
Is just something that
popped into my head.
381
00:16:22,904 --> 00:16:24,404
Sorry if I got kind of crazy.
382
00:16:24,498 --> 00:16:27,983
It's just, seeing my dad
brings everything back again.
383
00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:30,819
Oh, trust me, I get it.
My mom drives me nuts.
384
00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:33,764
She calls me once a month to
complain that I don't call her
385
00:16:33,915 --> 00:16:35,340
and then criticizes me for a hour.
386
00:16:35,434 --> 00:16:37,083
That's why I don't call you, bitch.
387
00:16:37,102 --> 00:16:40,845
Am I awful that I won't
even sit down with him?
388
00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:42,439
I don't think so.
389
00:16:42,666 --> 00:16:44,424
Families are complicated.
390
00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,426
I mean, I know that I've never been
391
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,095
what my father thought I should be.
392
00:16:49,114 --> 00:16:51,840
I was never strong enough,
393
00:16:51,858 --> 00:16:53,508
never pious enough,
394
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:55,535
never serious enough.
395
00:16:56,604 --> 00:16:58,680
Well, you know what, Father?
396
00:16:58,773 --> 00:17:02,000
You were never kind enough.
397
00:17:03,111 --> 00:17:06,354
Never patient enough.
398
00:17:06,448 --> 00:17:07,923
Never...
399
00:17:08,968 --> 00:17:10,926
... loving enough.
400
00:17:13,973 --> 00:17:15,580
Is that why you left?
401
00:17:15,641 --> 00:17:17,933
It was a big part of it.
402
00:17:18,644 --> 00:17:23,480
I knew if I left I could
maybe finally be happy.
403
00:17:24,316 --> 00:17:27,209
But I also knew
404
00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:29,569
I would never see my family again.
405
00:17:32,324 --> 00:17:34,908
Damn. That's a lot to carry.
406
00:17:36,386 --> 00:17:38,478
I know you're in a tough spot,
407
00:17:38,572 --> 00:17:40,722
but take it from me...
408
00:17:40,815 --> 00:17:42,057
it's okay
409
00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:45,502
to let go of someone
who's not good for you.
410
00:17:45,671 --> 00:17:47,562
Even if, deep down,
411
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,965
you love them.
412
00:17:51,493 --> 00:17:52,734
Thanks, man.
413
00:17:53,495 --> 00:17:56,588
Damn, now y'all got me
thinking about my mama.
414
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,933
Come on, let's go make some
room for that steam shower.
415
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:11,069
Dan?
416
00:18:11,938 --> 00:18:13,755
This is a dramatic development.
417
00:18:13,848 --> 00:18:16,366
* Dan, Dan, Dan! *
418
00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:21,187
- Hey.
- Hi. Uh, come on in.
419
00:18:21,206 --> 00:18:22,814
Thanks.
420
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:26,451
Whoa. I saw something like
that once on a bad acid trip.
421
00:18:26,545 --> 00:18:28,270
Uh,
422
00:18:28,363 --> 00:18:30,213
I'm leaving tonight and I, uh,
423
00:18:30,382 --> 00:18:33,050
I-I picked you up a little something.
424
00:18:33,201 --> 00:18:35,777
Oh.
425
00:18:35,796 --> 00:18:37,112
A hot towel kit.
426
00:18:37,222 --> 00:18:40,949
Well, it was either that or
a six pack of "Spree-tay."
427
00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:42,708
Thanks.
428
00:18:42,786 --> 00:18:44,710
Uh...
429
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,121
listen, I, uh...
430
00:18:46,139 --> 00:18:47,856
I got a favor to ask.
431
00:18:48,809 --> 00:18:50,550
Uh, maybe we could stay in touch.
432
00:18:50,569 --> 00:18:54,696
You could let me know
what's going on with Max?
433
00:18:56,391 --> 00:18:58,133
Look, um...
434
00:18:58,151 --> 00:19:00,318
I know you're really trying,
435
00:19:00,395 --> 00:19:01,469
but I think...
436
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,580
I think that has to be Max's decision.
437
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:08,502
Yeah. No, I-I get it, uh...
438
00:19:09,996 --> 00:19:11,479
Well, it, uh, you know,
439
00:19:11,573 --> 00:19:14,833
uh, maybe we'll see
each other again someday.
440
00:19:14,909 --> 00:19:17,469
You, I hope I never see again.
441
00:19:18,338 --> 00:19:20,972
Hey, Kat, have you seen my...
442
00:19:22,676 --> 00:19:23,767
Dad.
443
00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:28,421
Uh, she didn't know
I was coming and, uh,
444
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,900
you know, I-I didn't
know that you were here.
445
00:19:35,948 --> 00:19:37,405
Take care.
446
00:19:38,283 --> 00:19:39,357
Hang on.
447
00:19:39,509 --> 00:19:40,992
Yeah?
448
00:19:42,454 --> 00:19:44,121
I-I... Hold on a sec.
449
00:19:44,272 --> 00:19:46,414
I just... I can't, with that.
450
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:51,686
Kat says she thinks you've changed.
451
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:55,540
And maybe you are a
different guy now, but...
452
00:19:55,692 --> 00:19:57,467
I don't care.
453
00:19:58,953 --> 00:20:02,639
I was ten years old when you walked out.
454
00:20:02,716 --> 00:20:04,015
Ten!
455
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:06,768
Who the hell does that?
456
00:20:08,205 --> 00:20:10,722
And now you want to come
back and, what, play catch?
457
00:20:10,816 --> 00:20:12,482
No thanks.
458
00:20:14,044 --> 00:20:17,045
You taught me one thing in life, Dad.
459
00:20:17,063 --> 00:20:19,197
How to get along without you.
460
00:20:20,717 --> 00:20:23,234
So I really do hope that
you've turned your life around,
461
00:20:23,387 --> 00:20:26,079
but I don't need to be a part of it.
462
00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:33,503
Fair enough.
463
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:44,830
I know you think I
probably blew my one sh...
464
00:20:48,929 --> 00:20:51,438
Sorry, I... I just... I can't...
465
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:41,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33266
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof