Original subtitles

[ VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYS ]

OKAY, WHOEVER MAKES THIS JUMP GETS TO CHOOSE LUNCH.

YOU'RE ON!

OHHHHH!

WE'RE GOING TO WING KINGDOM!

[ SIGHS ]

RIGBY, DID YOU CLEAN OUT THE GUTTERS YET?

NO WAY. THAT'S A TWO-MAN JOB.

WHERE'S MORDECAI?

I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

COME TO THINK OF IT, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM

SINCE C.J. DUMPED HIM AT MUSCLE MAN'S WEDDING.

YEAH, NO ONE HAS.

HE HASN'T COME TO WORK FOR TWO WEEKS NOW.

I'VE TRIED CALLING, BUT HE WON'T PICK UP.

WHAT?! NO, HERE. I'LL CALL HIM.

[ Speed-dialing ]

[ CELLPHONE BUZZING ]

[ BUZZING STOPS ] HUH.

THAT'S NOT LIKE MORDECAI.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOUR BEST FRIEND IS?

HEY, I'VE BEEN BUSY.

LOOK, I'M JUST AS CONCERNED ABOUT

THE WELL-BEING OF MY EMPLOYEES AS ANY PARK MANAGER,

BUT I'VE GOT A BUSINESS TO RUN HERE.

IF YOU DON'T FIND MORDECAI

AND BRING HIM BACK TO WORK BY TOMORROW,

THEN I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIRE HIM.

WHAT?! WAIT! I CAN FIND HIM!

WELL, FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE SO.

OTHERWISE, YOU'LL BE CLEANING THE GUTTERS SOLO FROM NOW ON.

COME ON, MORDECAI. GIVE ME A CLUE HERE.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

HELLO?

HEY. I CHECKED WITH MARGARET.

SHE HASN'T SEEN OR HEARD FROM MORDECAI.

YEAH, HIS PARENTS DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS, EITHER.

AND I DON'T THINK HE'D BE HANGING WITH C.J. ANY TIME SOON.

WELL, GUESS I'LL START PUTTING UP THESE FLIERS AROUND TOWN.

HOPEFULLY, 100 SHOULD BE ENOUGH.

WELL, I'LL KEEP RIFFLING THROUGH HIS PERSONAL STUFF

THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE ME TOUCHING.

SEE YA. [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

HUH?

"DEAR, MORDECAI, STOP WALLOWING IN YOUR LADY WOES

AND COME HAVE SODAS..."

Sad Sax: "...WITH OTHER SINGLE BROS!

THERE'S A PLACE WITH HOT SANDY BEACHES

AND AN ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET.

SO PICK UP YOUR SAX AND JAM WITH THE CREW

IN DUMPTOWN U.S.A.!

SIGNED, SAD SAX."

AAH! SAD SAX GUY? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

AND DUMPTOWN U.S.A.? THAT SOUNDS SO LAME!

I BET NOBODY'S EVEN BEEN TO THIS PLACE.

I HAVE.

DUMPTOWN IS A REFUGE FOR GUYS WHO HAVE RECENTLY BEEN DUMPED,

A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN FORGET ABOUT THEIR BREAKUPS

AND EMBRACE THEIR NEWFOUND SINGLEHOOD.

WOW. THAT'S DEPRESSING.

OH, NO! DUMPTOWN IS GREAT!

THROUGHOUT MY LIFE, WHENEVER I GOT DUMPED,

IT WAS THE PERFECT PLACE

TO FORGET ABOUT ALL MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS.

[ SIGHS ]

ASHLEY WHO?

MONICA WHO?

PATRICIA WHO?

[ Muffled ] LISA WHO?

WHOO-HOO!

AUDREY WHO?!

YEP. GOOD TIMES.

SO GOOD THAT SOME PEOPLE DON'T EVER LEAVE.

AND I DON'T BLAME THEM.

OKAY, WELL, HOW DO I GET THERE?

THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GET TO DUMPTOWN

IS TO GET DUMPED.

SO...LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU...WANT ME TO DUMP YOU?

YES.

AS IN BREAK UP WITH ME? YES.

SO YOU CAN BE MAGICALLY TRANSPORTED

TO A BEACH FULL OF LOSERS

SO MORDECAI DOESN'T LOSE HIS JOB?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. NO!

AW, COME ON! IT'S NOT FOR REALS!

[ SIGHS ] FINE.

RIGBY, IT'S NOT YOU -- IT'S ME.

I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

NOTHING'S HAPPENING.

WELL, PUT SOME MORE FEELING INTO IT.

IT'S NOT CALLED GENTLE LETDOWN U.S.A.

I GOT TO GET DUMPED.

[ SIGHS ] WELL, I GUESS YOU ARE PRETTY IMMATURE.

GO ON.

YOU DON'T FLOSS OR BRUSH YOUR TEETH AT ALL.

KEEP GOING.

YOU'RE IRRESPONSIBLE, LAZY,

YOU NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW!

NOW WE'RE TALKING!

I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TRY THAT NEW ETHIOPIAN PLACE

FOR WEEKS NOW, AND YOU WON'T --

WHOA! OKAY. I THINK THAT'S GOOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT?! IT'S OVER! GET OUT!

CONSIDER YOURSELF DUMPED, LOSER!

DON'T CALL ME!

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

DID I JUST GET DUMPED FOR REALS?

[ SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ]

PFFT. CHICKS, MAN.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UP THERE?!

BROTHER, I SAW THE WHOLE THING.

IT WASN'T FOR REALS!

THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.

LUCKILY, I HAVE A CONSOLATION PRIZE FOR YOU --

A ONE-WAY TICKET TO A PLACE TO MAKE THE SAD TIMES GO AWAY.

SO, AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE A CAB OR...

[ SAXOPHONE PLAYING ]

HUH?

OOOOOAAAAAAAAH!

THERE SHE IS -- DUMPTOWN U.S.A.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT HERE, MAN.

I'M NOT HERE FOR ME!

I'M HERE TO FIND MY FRIEND MORDECAI!

MORDECAI?

OH, YEAH! I BROUGHT HIM HERE LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO.

YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND HIM?

WELL, HE'S PROBABLY ON A FOOD RUN.

THE NEW GUY ALWAYS GETS THE FOOD.

TRY DUMPTOWN DELI.

ALL RIGHT, MAN, THIS IS YOU.

WHAT? YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH ME?

DUMPEES ONLY, BROTHER.

I'LL CHILL AROUND HERE UNTIL YOU GET BACK.

[ SAXOPHONE PLAYS ]

UGH! I HATE THAT SONG!

UGH! EVERYBODY'S ALL GROSS AND WEARING BATHROBES IN PUBLIC.

EXCUSE ME, SIR, HAVE YOU SEEN A TALL GUY

BY THE NAME OF MORDECA--

AIEEEEEE!

RIGBY! YOU MADE IT!

GOT DUMPED TOO, HUH?

I KNEW EILEEN COULDN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER.

[ CHUCKLES ]

UGH. WHAT?! NO!

OUR BREAKUP WASN'T FOR REALS.

THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.

IT'S TRUE! I JUST CAME HERE TO BRING YOU BACK TO WORK SO YOU DON'T GET FIRED!

WORK? PFFT!

LOOK AROUND YOU, MAN.

THIS PLACE IS A PARADISE.

ALSO, NOW THAT YOU'RE THE NEW GUY,

I DON'T HAVE TO PICK UP FOOD ANYMORE!

OHHHH--

[ COUGHS ]

MAYBE I'M NOT MAKING MYSELF CLEAR HERE.

IF YOU DON'T GET BACK TO WORK BY TOMORROW,

BENSON'S GONNA FIRE YOU!

[ BELL DINGS ] ORDER UP!

COME ON, DUDE. WE GOT PLENTY OF TIME TO GET BACK.

FIRST, YOU GOT TO COME CHECK OUT THE BEACH HOUSE.

WHASSUP, ROOMIES?!

[ ALL MUTTERING ]

I BROUGHT YOU GUYS SOME FRENCH DI-I-I-I-PS!

[ ALL GASP ]

[ FLIES BUZZING ]

DUDE, THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO LIVE.

EH? EH?

NYAH!

AW, DUDE. THAT WAS MY BRUNCH.

NOBODY EATS BRUNCH AT HOME! ONLY LOSERS DO!

COME ON, MAN. DON'T BE LIKE THAT.

HEY, I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED -- A GRAND TOUR OF DUMPTOWN.

COME ON. THERE'S PLENTY OF FUN THINGS TO DO.

AREN'T YOU GONNA CLEAN THAT UP?

NAH. JEFFREY'S GOT IT.

[ WHEEZING ]

NOW CHOP-CHOP. DUMPTOWN AWAITS.

Mordecai: BAND PRACTICE!

[ SAXOPHONES PLAYING OFF-KEY ]

HERE, DUDE! GIVE IT A WHIRL!

NO! I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS PLACE!

COME ON, MORDECAI. WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE PARK RIGHT NOW.

YEAH, YEAH. I'LL GO, I'LL GO.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS, ONE MORE TIME!

[ INHALES DEEPLY ] NYAH!

YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS!

ALL OF THIS BECAUSE C.J. DUMPED YOU?

C.J. WHO?

YOU'VE CHANGED, MAN.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO ANYMORE.

NAH, MAN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THIS PLACE IS GOOD FOR ME.

IT'S GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO RETHINK MY LIFE, YOU KNOW?

LOOK, I KNOW THINGS HAVE BEEN HARD FOR YOU,

BUT C.J. IS JUST ONE GIRL, MAN.

THERE'S SO MANY MORE OUT THERE.

BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA MEET THEM

IF YOU'RE TRAPPED IN THIS PLACE FOREVER.

LOOK, I DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE A COUPLE DAYS.

A COUPLE OF DAYS?!

DUDE, YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR TWO WEEKS!

WAIT, WHAT?! NO WAY!

THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. I JUST GOT HERE.

RIGHT, GUYS?

YEAH, MAN, YOU JUST GOT HERE.

1994.

...SEPTEMBER OR...

STACY WHO?

SEE, DUDE?

EVERYONE IS SO OUT OF IT

BECAUSE THERE'S NO CONCEPT OF TIME HERE.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY.

LOOK AT YOURSELF!

[ GASPS ]

[ COUGHS WHEEZILY ]

[ MUTTERS ]

[ WHEEZING ]

[ GASPS ] YOU'RE RIGHT, DUDE.

I DON'T WANT TO WIND UP HERE FOREVER.

LET'S GO!

HUP!

HEY!

MORDECAI AND HIS LITTLE BUDDY RICKY TOOK OFF!

LET'S GET 'EM!

[ BOTH PANTING ]

YOU CAN'T LEAVE DUMPTOWN!

YEAH! WHO'S GONNA PICK UP THE FOOD FOR US?!

[ BOTH GRUNT ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE?!

THE DRAWBRIDGE!

WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!

LOOK!

HEY, YOU NEED TO SIGN THE LAZY WHEELZ RENTAL AGREE--

AH, WHATEVER.

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

DUDE! CAN'T THIS THING GO ANY FASTER?!

I'M TRYING! I'M TRYING!

THERE THEY GO!

[ BELL CLANGING ]

[ SAXOPHONE PLAYING ] SAD SAX!

WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!

HMM! HMM!

TIME TO LOSE THESE LOSERS.

[ BEEP ]

[ ALL GROAN ]

HOLD ON!

AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAH!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

AAAAAH!

WOW. I DON'T THINK I'VE SEEN ANYONE LEAVE DUMPTOWN LIKE THAT.

MOST GUYS STAY FOR YEARS -- OR NEVER COME BACK AT ALL.

WELL, I'M READY TO GO HOME.

YOU GOT IT, BROTHER.

[ SAXOPHONE PLAYS ]

OOF! OOF!

[ BOTH GROANING ]

WELCOME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD, DUDE.

I GUESS.

I ADMIT DUMPTOWN WAS A PRETTY LAME PLACE.

BUT THINGS WERE DEFINITELY A LOT SIMPLER THERE.

YOU WANT SIMPLE? TAKE A BREAK FROM DATING, MAN.

FORGET ABOUT THE CHICKS

AND JUST FOCUS ON WHAT'S BEST FOR MORDECAI.

YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.

WELL, WELL.

LOOK WHO DECIDED TO FINALLY SHOW UP.

GO TAKE A SHOWER, BURN THAT BATHROBE,

AND GET BACK TO WORK, OR YOU'RE FIRED!

OH. HEY, SAD SAX.

WHAT'S UP, BENSON?

[ CELLPHONE BUZZES, BEEPS ]

EILEEN? IT'S ME.

AM I STILL DUMPED?

AAH! ETHIOPIAN FOOD?!

IT WASN'T FOR REALS!