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(birds chirping)

(drumming)

(clanging)

(bell chimes)

(chanting)

♪

(indistinct chatter)

♪

(train trundling)

(birds chirping)

♪

-Okay. -All right.

So, head to your room.

Do you have any experience in Zen temples at all?

-No. -Nothing at all?

Like that, and keep your head in line.

That looks good, so, in this case, for this altar,

before you walk into the toilet, you would just do a--

we call it a gassho bow like that.

You bow to the altar here, and then...

So, this is the men's section

of this huge restroom that we have here.

-Mhm. -Have you been--

have you used kind of one of the typical Japanese toilets?

This was very confusing to me at first.

Like, you wanna stand-- you want to face this direction.

You don't wanna face this direction.

-Right, right. -And--

-Do you go down? -Yeah, you go down, right.

(indistinct chatter)

(birds squawking)

(indistinct singing)

(birds chirping)

(water flowing)

(bell ringing)

(water flowing)

(water running)

(gong ringing)

(rain pattering)

♪

(rustling)

♪

♪

(sizzling)

♪

(rain pattering)

♪

♪

(rain pattering)

(banging)

(banging)

♪

(rain pattering)

(bell resonates)

(vocalizing)

(birds chirping)

(thudding)

(hammering noise)

♪

(footsteps thudding)

(chanting)

(rustling)

(shuffling)

(indistinct whispering)

(indistinct remarks)

(clattering)

(bell resonates)

(bell resonates)

(coughing)

(bird squawking)

(thudding)

(coughing)

(birds chirping)

(rain pattering)

(thudding)

(bell resonates)

(rain pattering)

(thunder rumbling)

(rain pattering)

(wind gusting)

(rain pattering)

(rain pattering)

(water dripping)

♪

(thudding)

♪

(birds chirping)

(water rushing)

(whirring noise)

♪

(chiming)

(rustling)

♪

(birds chirping)

(footsteps thudding)

(laughing)

(birds chirping)

(indistinct conversations)

♪

(indistinct remarks)

But the legs get tired.

♪

The mind also gets tired.

(indistinct remarks)

Whatever I do,

I think of, like,

a profit.

For example, when I do this,

maybe I can get something

out of doing these things.

Like, I get--

be able to have a good balance or...

...whatever I do,

so that my focus is always like--

-Perfect. -Yeah.

I have an aim, that's why--

What is your aim?

Uh, I cannot say that.

♪

It's too personal?

It's--I don't know.

Or you cannot say in words?

Um...

♪

I want to understand

what Buddhism--not Buddhism,

but what,

what people are saying.

I mean the people who I respect.

♪

Like a monk.

A monk who I met.

♪

And...

♪

You fell in love with him.

Hm, maybe so,

but it's not like...

♪

It's more like...

-crushed by him. -Mhm.

-I don't know. -Yes, yes, I understand.

(water splashing)

(water spraying)

♪

(twanging and scraping)

♪

(rustling)

(indistinct remarks)

♪

(shuffling)

♪

(humming)

(chanting)

(clacking sound)

(rustling)

(water running)

Maybe I forgot, maybe wrong, no?

Yeah, but you saw-- I saw you today

washing the utensils, no?

I saw you, I saw you washing the carrots

and the how do you call these big--

-Leaves. -No, yeah, leaves.

-So-- -Yes.

And in so cold water.

Now it's not so cold.

(unintelligible)

Same like in bathroom, like in kitchen?

-Yeah, yeah. -Same?

-So cold. -So cold, you feel?

So cold water.

I think very cold.

You're like, you're like a child.

(laughing)

-Sometimes, yeah? -Yeah.

(indistinct chatter)

♪

(insects chirring)

♪

(birds chirping)

(brooms whooshing)

(dishes clanging)

(machinery whirring)

♪

(hammering)

(birds chirping)

♪

(chickens clucking)

♪

(wood cracking)

(crashing)

(cheering and laughing)

(chainsaw buzzing)

(clicking)

(crashing)

(shrill noise)

Okay, good.

(rustling)

♪

(motor humming)

♪

(laughing)

(wood clattering)

(tool rasping)

Okay.

(winding, rumbling)

(metal jingling)

(laughing)

Yeah.

(laughing)

(grunting)

(winding, rumbling)

(engine whirring)

(buzzing)

(rumbling)

(engine starting)

♪

(clacking)

♪

(chanting)

(chopsticks clicking)

(chanting)

(shuffling, scraping)

♪

(distant chatter)

-A crow. -Crow, crow.

Crow, crow, crow, yes, you're right, crow.

-So. -Mm.

Yeah, but they're big.

They cannot get into this.

-Yeah, but-- -They go inside?

No.

They made the holes in the net and they go inside?

-I don't know they-- -You don't know how?

-Yeah. -You come in the morning,

and all the crows are inside, yeah?

♪

(scratching)

Put them right there.

(laughing)

(clattering)

(hammering)

(swishing, scraping)

♪

I have many big pullover like this.

If I give you this, you accept?

You accept if I give you?

(indistinct vocalizing)

-No! -Yes, yes!

You accept, yeah?

This is--look, this is for man.

Look, too big.

You take?

You have place in your luggage?

(laughing)

So you have memory.

Memory from...huh?

This very wool.

Only wool, wool.

Look, 100 percent wool.

Natural, 100 percent.

Okay, warm!

♪

Next time I come back--

You come back-- you need the warm!

Maybe you wash first, because every day I put,

so maybe you wash first.

Smelling.

(laughing)

♪

(birds chirping)

♪

(distant cawing)

♪

(leaves rustling)

♪

(motor whirring)

♪

(water rushing)

♪

(dripping)

♪

(thumping)

♪

(metal clinking)

♪

(bell resonates)

♪

(whacking)

♪

(buzzing)

♪

(chanting)

♪

(footsteps, creaking)

How about the big spaghetti pot there?

This one, yeah.

(metal clanking)

(indistinct chatter)

We sing, like always, we sing at the table

for eating, chanting.

-Yes, chanting! -Very well,

but you have to teach us some Swiss kind of stuff.

We just say...

(speaking in foreign language)

Yeah!

Wake up at two?

Well, it's the kind of Morrissey mood, I guess.

-Every day is like Sunday. -Oh, okay.

I didn't know, like, what that meant!

Sauce and balls, wait.

(indistinct chatter)

-Sauce? -Yeah.

-Thank you. -Want more?

(indistinct chatter)

(chuckling)

(indistinct chatter)

(laughing)

(distant singing)

♪

(speaking foreign language)

♪

The more I practice,

the less I know what good practice is.

I'm more confused than before I came here,

less stable, less secure.

And yet I've become more acceptable to myself.

I'm not satisfied.

But satisfaction's not really worth all the worry.

Words like "meaning" are becoming less meaningful to me,

and I don't even have to be all that happy

in order to be happy.

♪

Wind and rain are cold,

winter feels lonely, and snow suffocates.

It all makes me scared and sad,

and lying next to someone warm and being kissed,

looked at deeply would be just the thing.

But sleep is getting shorter

and I'm getting thinner and weaker,

more human than I was before.

Coming down to Earth.

No real skill, no real direction,

no real depth,

nothing to show for 28 years of life.

Head drooping in sleep during Zazen,

nose running, or thinking like a broken record.

Trapped utterly in desire.

Strong, free, and complete.

♪

♪

(sniffing)

♪

♪

♪

(rain sprinkling)

♪

(ticking)

♪

(sloshing)

This is almost impossible for one person to make this.

Careful.

Hold this, and then I'll get something to...

Mhm, mhm.

(clanking)

I got it, I got it.

(gasping)

I think something else is coming out.

Yummy.

(indistinct conversation)

Yeah.

-Really fast, no? -Yeah!

Hey, tofu, (unintelligible)

-Look at that! -Cool!

Like cheese, no?

Solid cheese.

(batons clapping)

(chanting)

I was thinking about what I should say.

And I went--first of all, I went to the library

and I went to get these books you're working with,

Bendowa and Zuimonki,

and I looked around and I found that one

and I opened that one also,

and I thought, "Where should I start?"

(laughing)

And I thought, "Okay, I just open somewhere,

and that, that's where I'm gonna start."

So I opened that book, and I fell--

it's strange, I fell onto a poem,

and I'm just going to read that poem,

if that's okay to you?

It's a poem from actually a French author

that's called Jacques Prévert,

and it's called, To Paint a Portrait of the Bird.

Everybody knows what's a portrait?

It's just paint the bird.

"First, paint a cage

with an open door.

Then, paint something pretty,

something simple, something beautiful,

something useful for the bird.

Then place the canvas against a tree

in a garden, in a wood,

or in a forest."

(exhales deeply)

"Hide behind the tree without speaking,

without moving."

Sorry.

"Sometimes the bird comes quickly,

but he may take long years before deciding.

Don't get discouraged.

Wait.

Wait years, if necessary.

How fast or how slow the bird comes

has nothing to do with the success of the picture.

When the bird comes, if he comes,

observe the most profound silence

till the bird enters the cage.

And when he has entered,

gently close the door with a brush.

Then, erase all the bars one by one,

taking care not to touch any of the bird's feathers.

Then, paint the portrait of the tree...

...choosing the most beautiful of its branches for the bird.

Paint also the green foliage and the wind's freshness,

the dust of the sun and the noise of--

of the creatures in the grass

in the summer heat.

And then, wait for the bird to decide to sing.

If the bird doesn't sing, it's a bad sign,

a sign that the painting is bad.

But if he sings, it's a good sign,

a sign that you can sign.

So, then, very gently,

you pull out one of the bird's feathers,

and you write your name in a corner of the picture."

So, that's a poem I found.

And, uh...

I remember the first, um, the first talk I had

with Dojosan when I came here

and the first impression also of this place,

and the incredible thing is, is that everywhere you look,

actually, there are frames.

No, look.

The windows, and in the windows there are other frames,

and it's a big frame

and many, many, many many smaller frames.

to come to you, you know,

that also have frames in yourself somehow.

Everybody is framed in his own body and mind somehow.

And it's a Zen monastery, so it's about...

...about what?

Well, the first that comes to my mind, actually,

is a Zen sitting.

And that's also a frame, look at your cushions.

This frame, you're framed into it.

And you're sitting in a really framed position,

really simple, I mean, simpler.

You cannot think about.

You cannot think of sitting simpler than

as you--as a position of Zazen.

And, first, I was really afraid of these frames, really.

I told also Dojosan that I'm really scared

about these frames because I feel like I'm framed,

I get framed.

And I'm--everything else is done square.

I'm somehow completely tortured.

Then, you get into that frame and this tortured thing

comes out even more.

It's even more obvious.

So, it's scary, you know?

But then I noticed that in these ritualized moments

that are like, for me, yeah,

they, like, stop a rhythm of doing.

You do, you work in the earth, you do,

or you cut wood all morning,

and then, suddenly, it goes "shh,"

and you're all together concentrated in this frame,

in this special rhythm, like we begin with chanting,

and you get into that--

It's another--it's a change of time somehow.

The change of concentration.

And it actually invites you to be,

to be conscious in your being.

To--to be--

To be conscious and actually just saying,

"Be more conscious, even cutting wood,

be there cutting the wood.

Be."

So, these rituals I got less scared of

doing them with you together more and more

because I saw the meaning of it.

Well, I felt the meaning for me.

And I even started to like them.

Even started to like doing them.

And I even started to begin to be

doing them, because before,

I was just thinking about what I had to do,

like running after what I should do.

But then, suddenly...

(sighs)

So, it's very--for me, very, mm,

big treasure to...

...to experience these things with you.

(snow crunching)

♪

(clucking)

(laughing)

Okay, okay.

(grunting)

(ball bouncing, clicking)

Oh!

(laughing)

♪

(indistinct chatter)

♪

(snow sliding off roof)

(chanting)

(wood cracking)

(chanting)

(coughing)

(chanting)

(clattering)

(feet thudding)

(clattering, water running)

(splashing)

(clanking)

♪

(indistinct chatter)

Pots which are about one centimeter

by one centimeter,

so sowing the seeds into these pots

are very easy for beginners.

♪

(bird chirping)

♪

(birds chirping)

(humming)

(water spraying)

(birds chirping)

♪

(birds chirping)

(bowl resonating)

(sloshing)

(cracking)

(water running)

♪

♪

(speaking foreign language)

(birds chirping)

-Hi. -Hello.

I am Mark.

Ah, Mark, you stay for ten days?

Something like that, yes.

Okay.

So good you made it in the rain.

It's beautiful, it's beautiful.

Yeah, thank you for having me.

Yeah, if you walk in there, somebody is gonna greet you

and show you where you live.

(rain pouring)

(whirring)

(indistinct chatter)

(chatter continues)

That's quite all right.

It is good.

♪

(fire crackling)

♪

Do you dance?

No, but you could teach me how.

Just move.

We were dancing on our knees.

You want to dance on your knees?

Start here.

Move to the beat and you move the whole body.

Yeah, but I can't move with a man and a camera between.

(laughing)

Why not?

Just let him be, and you move

because you feel like you want to move.

That's like having sex, you know?

(laughing)

Just do what you want to do.

♪

(laughing)

Give it more.

(clippers whirring)

Look at you.

Oh, wow.

Do you like it?

Yeah.

Let's do more.

It's talking like (mimicking whirring)

(whirring continues)

(birds chirping)

(tapping)

Nice, nice, nice.

I know it's getting very cold.

-Getting what? -Cold.

-Cold. -Without hair.

Oh, it's freezing, that's why I keep

a little bit of hair, you know?

Just a little.

He can be the next one.

(indistinct chatter)

(birds chirping)

Dojosan, I heard that you, um,

you're going to--to Osaka

for begging, right, tomorrow,

and I heard that you're leaving

after samu meeting,

and I wanted to ask you

if I could join you for the trip.

-Yes. -Thank you.

(birds chirping)

♪

♪

♪

(train trundling)

♪

How's it going with your (unintelligible)?

Okay, we'll try.

(speaking foreign language)

Do you normally go at this speed,

-or should it be slower? -I go like this:

(chanting)

(indistinct chatter)

♪

♪

I like practice.

Dive into being there now,

now, now.

And I know...

...there's gonna be a now, it's gonna be finished.

I'm gonna...

And it's finished.

It's like life, same, same.

So, if you ask me, "How is it to come back to this world?"

♪

Mm.

♪

I'm diving even more into it somehow.

I'm really tired now.

Let's go.

I have a big thing here.

What?

Maybe you could turn...

Ah, okay.

It really hurts.

Yeah, I think so.

(laughing)

Let's go to sleep, yeah?

-Mm. -Let's go.

We go to sleep now.

♪

(chanting)

♪

(chanting)

♪