Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,182 --> 00:00:03,303
Greetings, members of
the league! Remember last week
2
00:00:03,423 --> 00:00:05,892
when I ran into a former flame?
Well, it was that night
3
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,927
I made
a very important decision.
4
00:00:07,996 --> 00:00:11,131
I never want to be without you again.
Mmm.
5
00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:12,198
RUXIN: Oh, no,
Andre, what are you
6
00:00:12,266 --> 00:00:13,833
about to do?
So we went to Mexico
7
00:00:13,901 --> 00:00:16,021
and tied the knot! We went
to Mexico and tied the knot!
8
00:00:16,036 --> 00:00:17,170
Wait, what?
(Andre laughs)
9
00:00:17,237 --> 00:00:19,239
Yeah!
I'm Mrs. Meegan Nowzick!
10
00:00:19,306 --> 00:00:21,475
And I don't really
hate it that much.
11
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:22,809
The name, I mean.
TACO: Wow.
12
00:00:22,876 --> 00:00:24,344
I could've notarized it.
You know
13
00:00:24,411 --> 00:00:26,292
Venezuela's different than
Mexico, right? How so?
14
00:00:26,314 --> 00:00:28,080
But right now it's all about
15
00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:30,117
my lady.
That's me.
16
00:00:30,184 --> 00:00:33,219
And bam! Bam!
Baby.
17
00:00:33,287 --> 00:00:35,322
I never thought I would be
embarrassed for Vanilla Ice
18
00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:37,156
to be associated with something.
19
00:00:37,225 --> 00:00:40,192
♪ Why don't you join us
in a dance where you are? ♪
20
00:00:40,261 --> 00:00:44,828
♪ We are robots who are in love.
♪ (groaning)
21
00:00:44,896 --> 00:00:50,048
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
22
00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:52,002
Check it out.
23
00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:54,972
Oh. Jesus, Taco, what
the hell happened?
24
00:00:55,039 --> 00:00:56,573
You know, just normal wear and tear.
This is
25
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,609
not normal wear and tear.
Well, also,
26
00:00:58,676 --> 00:01:01,645
the pony knocked over
a lava lamp. There was a fire...
27
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,112
The pony caught the place on fire?
No, no, no.
28
00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,614
The pony caught himself on fire.
29
00:01:04,682 --> 00:01:06,784
This was from smoking in a bed.
30
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:09,852
Was that you, Taco? No, it was the pony.
Aren't you listening to what I'm saying?
31
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,188
Anyway, now all I have
to do is get insurance
32
00:01:12,257 --> 00:01:13,856
and I'm gonna make a fortune.
33
00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:15,525
Uh, it doesn't really work
that way.
34
00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:17,326
It's all part of my master plan.
35
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:18,861
Step one of the master plan:
36
00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:21,298
burn down the EBDBBnB.
Step two:
37
00:01:21,365 --> 00:01:23,599
vanish without a trace.
Why?
38
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:26,402
Can't tell you, Jenny. I wish
I could, but I don't trust you.
39
00:01:26,471 --> 00:01:29,605
Can you believe it? Soon
the EBDBBnB will be closing
40
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:33,043
its doors. What? Taco, you
have people in there.
41
00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:34,444
TACO:
Hey, guys, watch out
42
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:36,813
for the hole in the floor
while you're having sex!
43
00:01:36,881 --> 00:01:39,316
It's real dangerous in there.
You want to come up?
44
00:01:39,384 --> 00:01:41,151
Ew. What? No.
45
00:01:41,218 --> 00:01:42,753
Not with me, with strangers.
46
00:01:42,820 --> 00:01:44,587
Oh, God, Taco.
47
00:01:44,656 --> 00:01:46,423
All right, I'm going in.
48
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:52,246
JENNY: The rules of the
Fertility Bowl are simple:
49
00:01:52,314 --> 00:01:54,950
And when I win, she's gonna
get her tubes tied. Oh, boy.
50
00:01:55,016 --> 00:01:56,418
But this is
a very serious issue,
51
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,786
so we're gonna try
to be mature It is.
52
00:01:57,853 --> 00:02:00,621
about it. . And that's
why I made a trophy.
53
00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:03,658
Let me introduce you
to the Snip.
54
00:02:03,725 --> 00:02:06,093
Look at this. That's a real
trophy, babe. Oh, yeah.
55
00:02:06,162 --> 00:02:08,430
Your name's gonna go right here
for the rest of eternity.
56
00:02:08,497 --> 00:02:09,497
We'll see about that.
57
00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:10,764
Never run with the Snip.
58
00:02:10,832 --> 00:02:12,000
Be careful on the stairs.
59
00:02:12,068 --> 00:02:13,968
Carry the Snip
with the sharp end down.
60
00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:15,235
KEVIN: I don't really
care for this thing.
61
00:02:15,304 --> 00:02:16,503
Then why didn't you make
your own trophy?
62
00:02:16,572 --> 00:02:17,771
I was going to,
but the trophy place
63
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:18,939
didn't have plastic ovaries.
64
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,275
That's disgusting.
I know.
65
00:02:20,342 --> 00:02:22,242
That's what the old lady
that worked there said.
66
00:02:22,311 --> 00:02:23,812
KEVIN: Wow. ANDRE:
We're so excited
67
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,780
you guys are here. You guys.
This is great.
68
00:02:25,848 --> 00:02:27,414
What is it exactly?
ANDRE: Oh, it's a
69
00:02:27,483 --> 00:02:30,284
baby gender party. It
is a baby gender party.
70
00:02:30,353 --> 00:02:31,953
So it's a baby shower?
MEEGAN AND ANDRE: No.
71
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,221
Yohave to buy other
presents the next time. No.
72
00:02:33,288 --> 00:02:34,588
Yeah, we'll ha
a shower registry,
73
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:36,057
and this is the gender registry.
74
00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:37,425
I need a cocktail. Yes. Oh,
75
00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:39,561
we have boy cocktails
and girlocaiSo,
76
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,596
if you want a boy, pick a blue
cocktail. If you want a girl,
77
00:02:41,663 --> 00:02:42,963
pick a pink cocktail.
78
00:02:43,031 --> 00:02:44,098
I'll just mix a little
of both in a glass
79
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,332
and call it an Andre.
80
00:02:45,401 --> 00:02:47,168
That's what he's been doing
all day.
81
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:48,168
(laughter)
82
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,837
Great. Okay.
83
00:02:49,905 --> 00:02:52,073
I mean, how are they
gonna babyproof this joint?
84
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:53,942
Well, Andre already
pe-proofed it.
85
00:02:54,009 --> 00:02:57,012
Ooh. Anyone gonna take a hit off
of Kevin's pubes?
86
00:02:57,079 --> 00:03:00,281
Mm. I don't smoke the red stuff, thanks.
Hey, uh, Pete, what'd you get Andre?
87
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,984
Uh, nothing. Why? What are you talking
about? You got to get him something
88
00:03:03,051 --> 00:03:05,252
extra special. You guys
are Eskimo husbands.
89
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,240
While it's true we've spelunked
in the same cave,
90
00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:09,324
only I left something behind.
91
00:03:09,391 --> 00:03:11,558
Ew. That's so gross.
Wh, like a brokeadla?
92
00:03:11,627 --> 00:03:13,694
Oh, hold that thought.
Everybody!
93
00:03:13,763 --> 00:03:15,896
I have a very important
announcement, everyone.
94
00:03:15,965 --> 00:03:19,300
Now, I know you think today's party can't
get any better. No one thought that.
95
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,969
Uh-oh. What's that?
(harmonizing)
96
00:03:22,038 --> 00:03:24,171
Oh. I think
they're gonna sing.
97
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,275
I've reunited my college
a cappella group, the Dre Tones,
98
00:03:27,342 --> 00:03:28,424
and we're gonna bring Oh, no.
99
00:03:28,477 --> 00:03:30,844
our Motown sound
100
00:03:30,913 --> 00:03:33,281
ba ti-To.
101
00:03:33,348 --> 00:03:37,495
♪ Do you recall ♪
102
00:03:37,562 --> 00:03:41,498
♪ Down by Lake Shore Drive? ♪
103
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:42,933
♪ Hope in the air ♪
104
00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:45,103
♪ No one had a care ♪
105
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:48,939
♪ Down by Lake Shore Drive ♪
106
00:03:49,008 --> 00:03:51,009
♪ And now marital bliss ♪
107
00:03:51,076 --> 00:03:53,110
♪ Dre's seed in her uterus ♪
♪ Uterus ♪
108
00:03:53,179 --> 00:03:54,378
Uterus?
♪ Down by Lake Shore ♪
109
00:03:54,447 --> 00:03:56,848
♪ Drive ♪
110
00:03:56,915 --> 00:04:00,784
♪ Down by Lake Shore ♪
111
00:04:00,853 --> 00:04:04,723
♪ Drive... ♪
112
00:04:04,789 --> 00:04:07,192
(laughs) Give it up for the Dre Tones!
EGANYay!
113
00:04:07,259 --> 00:04:08,360
Everybody clap! KEVIN: Wow.
114
00:04:08,426 --> 00:04:09,927
ANDRE:
Yeah.
115
00:04:09,996 --> 00:04:11,562
The Dre Tones! You guys
remember the Dre Tones.
116
00:04:11,597 --> 00:04:13,865
I know that you were busy for
the shows that you were supposed
117
00:04:13,932 --> 00:04:16,935
to come see, but I figured if you couldn't
come to them, they could come to you. Anyway,
118
00:04:17,002 --> 00:04:18,636
I'd like to say a
few words, if I may.
119
00:04:18,704 --> 00:04:20,137
Oh, my gosh. Taco with a speech.
Speech.
120
00:04:20,206 --> 00:04:21,572
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
First speech!
121
00:04:21,639 --> 00:04:23,074
Andre, Meegan,
122
00:04:23,141 --> 00:04:24,408
this has nothing to do with you.
123
00:04:24,476 --> 00:04:26,778
Everyone, I want you all to know
124
00:04:26,879 --> 00:04:29,848
that I am going
to mysteriously vanish
125
00:04:29,915 --> 00:04:31,315
and I want you to know why.
126
00:04:31,384 --> 00:04:33,918
I have been summoned to court.
127
00:04:33,985 --> 00:04:36,721
I knew that one day
it'd catch up to me. Yeah.
128
00:04:36,788 --> 00:04:39,430
They want to put me on trial. They
want me to fry. No, they want you
129
00:04:39,457 --> 00:04:40,824
to be on a jury.
130
00:04:40,893 --> 00:04:43,261
You can't be on a jury
and tried at the same time.
131
00:04:43,329 --> 00:04:44,995
That's not how it works,
dum-dum.
132
00:04:45,064 --> 00:04:46,531
I thought you were a lawyer.
Noyou n't...
133
00:04:46,598 --> 00:04:51,069
Just... Taco, what exactly
are you trial for? What?
134
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:52,470
Did you guys never ask
yourselves,
135
00:04:52,538 --> 00:04:54,672
"How does he maintain
this decadent lifestyle?"
136
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,274
The bicycles,
137
00:04:56,341 --> 00:04:58,610
the vintage suit t used van?
138
00:04:58,677 --> 00:05:00,778
We p for all of that. That's us.
139
00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:02,579
The spear gun?
Us.
140
00:05:02,648 --> 00:05:04,382
I guess we really just didn't
want to know the truth.
141
00:05:04,449 --> 00:05:05,516
I appreciate that, Ruspin.
142
00:05:05,584 --> 00:05:07,485
So I guess
this is good-bye.
143
00:05:07,552 --> 00:05:08,586
All right, bye. Later.
144
00:05:08,653 --> 00:05:09,553
I love you, guy...
145
00:05:09,622 --> 00:05:11,723
Well, I don't love y...
146
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:15,259
What's just below like
and above dislike?
147
00:05:15,326 --> 00:05:16,761
Neutral?
I neutral
148
00:05:16,829 --> 00:05:19,697
you guys. Andre,
I neutral you less.
149
00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:21,399
So more towards like?
150
00:05:21,466 --> 00:05:23,500
So I'm gonna vanish right...
151
00:05:23,569 --> 00:05:26,937
now. Poof. Smoke.
152
00:05:27,005 --> 00:05:29,774
This is crazy.
NoLet m go.
153
00:05:29,841 --> 00:05:31,543
Vanishing! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
154
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:35,012
I'll take some of that.
Vanishing food. Mmm.
155
00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:37,548
And just like that,
he mysteriously vanished.
156
00:05:37,582 --> 00:05:38,716
Vaniing!
157
00:05:38,783 --> 00:05:40,384
ANDRE:
Well, everybody, let's not
158
00:05:40,452 --> 00:05:44,422
let one vanishing wreck a whole
afternoon of a cappella fun.
159
00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:46,223
Oh, no. Let's just have
one more vanishing.
160
00:05:46,292 --> 00:05:47,425
What? No. No, no more vanishing.
161
00:05:47,492 --> 00:05:49,994
Poof! Smoke.
162
00:05:50,062 --> 00:05:51,629
And you made a pitch pipe appear!
(gasps)
163
00:05:51,697 --> 00:05:52,863
MEEGAN:
Magic!
164
00:05:52,932 --> 00:05:53,630
(plays note)
165
00:05:53,699 --> 00:05:54,699
(harmonizing)
166
00:05:54,766 --> 00:05:57,134
♪ Rock-a-bye, baby ♪
167
00:05:57,202 --> 00:05:58,362
♪ On the treetop... ♪
(grunts)
168
00:05:59,843 --> 00:06:02,165
DRE TONES:
♪ Hello, hello, hello ♪
169
00:06:02,286 --> 00:06:04,687
♪ Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey ♪
170
00:06:04,754 --> 00:06:08,690
♪ Hello, my ragtime, ragtime
gal, send me a kiss by... ♪
171
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,994
The Dre Tones are driving me crazy.
I know.
172
00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:12,728
Andre is so sexy.
173
00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:13,797
Hmm.
174
00:06:13,863 --> 00:06:15,098
So, when does
175
00:06:15,165 --> 00:06:16,331
the little pumpkin drop?
176
00:06:16,399 --> 00:06:17,733
Labor Day.
177
00:06:17,802 --> 00:06:19,302
When did you guys break up
again?
178
00:06:19,303 --> 00:06:20,370
Mm...
179
00:06:20,437 --> 00:06:22,704
Oh, I remember.
You guys broke up
180
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,707
around the Beer Mile. That was
week four of the NFL season,
181
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:28,076
'cause C.J. Spiller was on
my bench, and he killed it.
182
00:06:28,144 --> 00:06:29,812
And then you said the baby
was due Labor Day.
183
00:06:29,879 --> 00:06:31,413
Yeah.
Most people don't know this,
184
00:06:31,481 --> 00:06:33,682
but a baby actually gestates
for ten months.
185
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:36,252
I know. Don't remind me.
(chuckles) But that means
186
00:06:36,319 --> 00:06:38,930
the baby would have been
conceived at the end of October,
187
00:06:38,997 --> 00:06:40,363
not at the beginning of October,
188
00:06:40,432 --> 00:06:42,466
around week seven or
eight of the season.
189
00:06:42,533 --> 00:06:44,502
But you and Andre had broken up
at that point.
190
00:06:44,569 --> 00:06:46,870
I don't.
You know what, I'm probably
191
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,872
mixing up my dates.
The doctor was
192
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:50,374
just throwing
a lot of numbers out at me...
193
00:06:50,442 --> 00:06:52,076
I got some week five
194
00:06:52,144 --> 00:06:54,545
problems here. You got
a problem there, too.
195
00:06:54,612 --> 00:06:55,947
Oh, it's nothing.
Don't worry about it. Yeah.
196
00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:57,380
Roethlisberger's out.
197
00:06:57,449 --> 00:06:59,250
So what do I do, pick up Tyrod Taylor?
I mean,
198
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,117
you can, but you'd never have
the balls to use him.
199
00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:02,687
Tyrod Taylor's
like buying a Bowflex.
200
00:07:02,754 --> 00:07:04,154
You're gonna buy it
'cause it looks good,
201
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,790
and then you're like,
"I'm never gonna use this."
202
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,458
Never use him.
(grunts)
203
00:07:07,526 --> 00:07:08,860
What is it, hemorrhoids?
No
204
00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:11,228
it's just a weird night. Sleep.
205
00:07:11,295 --> 00:07:12,230
You know.
Hmm.
206
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:17,535
MEEGAN: ...maybe could
be coming early or...
207
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,004
It doesn't really matter, as
long as we have a healthy baby.
208
00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:21,639
Hey, Meegan.
Hmm?
209
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:23,774
Can I guess
what sex the baby is?
210
00:07:23,841 --> 00:07:25,643
Sure.
I think
211
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,478
the sex...
212
00:07:27,545 --> 00:07:29,656
was with Pete.
213
00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:35,019
(chuckling):
Oh, man.
214
00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:37,988
Shark Ruxin, sniffing out
the blood in the water
215
00:07:38,055 --> 00:07:39,757
and chomping down on the truth!
216
00:07:39,824 --> 00:07:41,091
Please don't tell Andre.
It was one time.
217
00:07:41,158 --> 00:07:43,159
Does Pete know?
No.
218
00:07:43,228 --> 00:07:45,930
He doesn't know,
and he cannot know. Promise me
219
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,800
he will never find out.
220
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,401
Keep that nasty finger away
from me.
221
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:50,968
Please, please, Ruxin.
222
00:07:51,036 --> 00:07:51,937
Um, Meegan.
223
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:52,805
Meegan, come here.
224
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,112
I-I-I'll be right there, honey.
225
00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:55,973
Hold on. Promise me.
226
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,209
Meegan.
227
00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:58,677
Ruxin, promise me.
228
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,211
Come here, come here.
I'm coming, honey.
229
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:02,714
(chuckles)
This is an amazing baby shower.
230
00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:05,516
It is now time to announce
the sex of the Nowzick baby.
231
00:08:05,584 --> 00:08:07,119
Is it a boy or is it a girl?
232
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,288
Mouth-roll, please!
233
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,156
♪ What's the sex? ♪
♪ What's the sex? ♪
234
00:08:11,223 --> 00:08:12,356
♪ What's the sex? ♪
235
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,826
♪ What's
the sex? ♪
236
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:16,862
(gasps)
237
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,930
It's a boy!
It's a boy!
238
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:19,964
(chuckling)
(applause)
239
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,606
KEVIN: Between the Dre
Tones and the hummus,
240
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,542
I'm gonna barf. Does your stomach hurt?
What...? Is that...?
241
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,744
Geez.
242
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,846
Unbelievable.
Nice job vanishing, Taco.
243
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,633
The only thing vanishing
are our deli meats.
244
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,216
(sighs)
Hey, honey, I'm ho.
245
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,850
(chuckles) Oh, my God. What
is this, a youth hostel?
246
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,052
You guys look great.
Where you been?
247
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,154
Out. We were at Andre and
Meegan's baby shower.
248
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,456
Don't tell him.
249
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,563
She's pregnant? JENNY: Yeah.
250
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,592
Oh, God, I hope it's not mine.
251
00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:48,860
Why would it be yours, Rafi?
I've been
252
00:08:48,927 --> 00:08:50,962
jacking down on their towels
like crazy.
253
00:08:51,029 --> 00:08:52,429
You think that's how it works?
Yeah.
254
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,600
She puts the towel on,
my biz gets on her leg,
255
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:55,834
swim, swim, swim,
256
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,336
next thing you know,
four months later,
257
00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,437
Baby Rafi comes out.
Well, congratulations
258
00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:02,474
if you're having a baby, Rafi. No,
I don't want a baby with Meegan.
259
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,442
Plus, if you must know, my
very serious girlfriend Margaret
260
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:05,711
and I have been trying.
261
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:07,111
Oh.
Oh. You and Margaret
262
00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:09,114
are stilgether. Yeah. But...
263
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,381
I don't know
she can get pregnant or not.
264
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,984
I'm starting to worry
she might be seedless.
265
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,885
Either way,
it's... time to go.
266
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:15,921
Cool.
So... you should be...
267
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,655
No, no, no. I'm sleeping back
here, behind the couch.
268
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,557
What?
Hmm?
269
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:19,991
Why?
Because Margar's
270
00:09:20,058 --> 00:09:21,994
already back there,
and I'm already hard.
271
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,395
So you guys should probably
get out of here pretty quick.
272
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:26,565
JENNY: at? KEVIN: Um...
273
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,802
You know what, you-you might
be right, Rafi. Cool.
274
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:33,138
It's about to get weird!
(chuckles)
275
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,274
You guys are welcome to stay and
watch. I'd love the audience.
276
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:37,809
(screams)
Oh, my God!
277
00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:38,610
What?
(screams)
278
00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:39,878
No, no, no, no, no!
279
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,179
Someone murdered Margaret!
280
00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:43,615
First Sofia, now Margaret!
281
00:09:43,682 --> 00:09:46,184
Someone's murdering
the womeat I love!
282
00:09:46,251 --> 00:09:49,822
We're just gonna go to bed now.
I think we should... (sobbing)
283
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:53,153
One, two, three.
(exhales)
284
00:09:53,221 --> 00:09:56,590
(grunts)
Mmm. Oh.
285
00:09:56,658 --> 00:09:58,926
One last time, baby.
286
00:09:58,993 --> 00:10:00,193
Rafi, the remote...
287
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,162
Huh?
Don't judge me, Brian.
288
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:03,697
I need you to look at me, Brian.
289
00:10:03,764 --> 00:10:05,399
I need you to look at me
so I can finish, Brian.
290
00:10:05,466 --> 00:10:06,799
Oh, no.
291
00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:08,936
There are seeds.
292
00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:10,971
She was pregnant!
293
00:10:11,038 --> 00:10:14,408
Do I roll the dice
with Stefon Diggs or...
294
00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:17,610
do I play it safe
295
00:10:17,678 --> 00:10:19,413
with Allen Robinson?
296
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,347
God, Andre's team is stacked.
297
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:24,083
If I tell him about
Pete and Meegan, he'll implode.
298
00:10:24,152 --> 00:10:25,985
On the other hand...
299
00:10:26,053 --> 00:10:27,754
I'm such a good friend.
300
00:10:27,822 --> 00:10:29,789
I need a sign.
301
00:10:29,857 --> 00:10:31,158
(doorbell rings)
302
00:10:33,561 --> 00:10:35,629
Shiva?
303
00:10:35,697 --> 00:10:37,163
Rodney.
304
00:10:37,231 --> 00:10:38,999
I'm so sorry I didn't
come to the funeral.
305
00:10:39,067 --> 00:10:40,500
I was out of the country.
306
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:42,001
No, no, no.
You're here now,
307
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,937
and that's all that matters.
308
00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:45,326
SHIVA:
This is for you, Geoffrey.
309
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:48,241
Oh, a baseball glove.
Thanks, The Shiva.
310
00:10:48,308 --> 00:10:50,443
Just "Shiva" is fine.
311
00:10:50,510 --> 00:10:52,645
Oh, you did great, buddy.
Hey, go upstairs,
312
00:10:52,713 --> 00:10:54,480
I'll tuck you in in a
bit, all right? Okay.
313
00:10:56,484 --> 00:10:59,186
Oh, my gosh. I didn't know
what to get you, I'm sorry.
314
00:10:59,254 --> 00:11:01,421
Oh, Shiva,
315
00:11:01,489 --> 00:11:03,423
your presence is a gift.
316
00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,424
Are you doing okay?
317
00:11:05,493 --> 00:11:06,927
Is there anything
I can do for you?
318
00:11:06,995 --> 00:11:09,229
Well, I mean,
319
00:11:09,297 --> 00:11:11,398
there's... one thing.
320
00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:12,399
What is this?
321
00:11:12,466 --> 00:11:14,268
This is my fantasy lineup.
322
00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:16,302
Okay, what do you want
me to do with this?
323
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:17,604
I want you to bless it.
324
00:11:17,672 --> 00:11:18,739
What?
325
00:11:18,806 --> 00:11:20,474
A blessing from The Shiva.
Okay.
326
00:11:20,541 --> 00:11:22,643
Rodney, you know
that I'm just a girl
327
00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:23,844
you went to high school
with, right?
328
00:11:23,912 --> 00:11:25,245
I don't have magical powers,
329
00:11:25,312 --> 00:11:28,215
I can't help you win
a fake football league.
330
00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:29,442
I know it seems crazy, but...
331
00:11:29,484 --> 00:11:30,850
Is this really gonna help you?
332
00:11:30,918 --> 00:11:32,119
More than anything
333
00:11:32,186 --> 00:11:34,587
anyone has done for me
since my wife died.
334
00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,590
Okay.
335
00:11:36,658 --> 00:11:38,225
Specifically
in the wide receiver area.
336
00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:40,126
That's been a real bugaboo
this week.
337
00:11:40,193 --> 00:11:42,229
This is what I would do:
338
00:11:42,297 --> 00:11:44,463
Hey, you seen my pube trimmers?
Whoa.
339
00:11:44,532 --> 00:11:46,033
Who's this?
Shiva, Rafi.
340
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,768
Wow.
Very firm grip.
341
00:11:47,835 --> 00:11:50,169
You know what that means--
super good hand jobs.
342
00:11:50,238 --> 00:11:52,038
Okay, Rafi, that's enough.
Sorry to interrupt,
343
00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:54,274
but, uh, I just
can't help but feel like
344
00:11:54,341 --> 00:11:55,741
with Sofia only,
like, a month dead,
345
00:11:55,777 --> 00:11:57,443
it's a little early
for you to be dating.
346
00:11:57,511 --> 00:11:59,178
Oh, oh, no, no, no.
We're not dating.
347
00:11:59,246 --> 00:12:00,614
Oh, whatever
you call it--
348
00:12:00,682 --> 00:12:02,581
like, finger blasting,
ass blasting. No.
349
00:12:02,649 --> 00:12:03,716
Okay. Okay... Kissing on the
mouths: upstairs, downstairs.
350
00:12:03,784 --> 00:12:05,619
Wide... wide receiver.
You know what?
351
00:12:05,687 --> 00:12:07,386
I'm just gonna go. Front
to back, top to bottom.
352
00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:09,155
Rodney... I'll see you...
Swappin' poops, butt to butt.
353
00:12:09,222 --> 00:12:11,057
I'll see you next week.
No.
354
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:12,225
Next week is too late.
355
00:12:12,293 --> 00:12:13,659
(grunts)
356
00:12:13,727 --> 00:12:15,528
Ooh, you smell good.
What is that, McDonald's?
357
00:12:15,529 --> 00:12:16,763
Mmm. Wow.
358
00:12:16,831 --> 00:12:18,230
She's like a Big Mac.
359
00:12:18,298 --> 00:12:20,000
Shiva, just tell me who to play
360
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:21,268
at wide receiver.
(door closes)
361
00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:22,635
Oh, Rafi, you screwed it up.
362
00:12:22,703 --> 00:12:24,136
That was great.
You're welcome, man.
363
00:12:24,205 --> 00:12:25,238
You're welcome?
Yeah.
364
00:12:25,306 --> 00:12:26,505
No, you screwed me, Rafi.
365
00:12:26,573 --> 00:12:27,908
She was about
to bless my lineup.
366
00:12:27,975 --> 00:12:29,176
Well, I'll bless your lineup.
367
00:12:29,243 --> 00:12:30,344
Is that what we're
talking about here?
368
00:12:30,411 --> 00:12:31,878
Yeah.
369
00:12:31,946 --> 00:12:33,245
Oh.
370
00:12:33,313 --> 00:12:36,687
There you go, bingo bango.
Blessed, Rafi style.
371
00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:40,767
RUXIN:
Tell him. I shouldn't tell him.
372
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,087
Tell him.
373
00:12:43,155 --> 00:12:45,221
Don't tell him.
374
00:12:45,538 --> 00:12:47,860
Tell him.
375
00:12:47,927 --> 00:12:50,528
Hey. Hey.
376
00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:52,048
Hey!
377
00:12:52,181 --> 00:12:53,782
What?! What the hell?
Who are you?
378
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:55,350
Where am I?
379
00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:56,918
Come on.
What are you, an idiot?
380
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,854
Who do I look like?
381
00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:02,287
Should I know who you are?
I would think so.
382
00:13:02,355 --> 00:13:04,155
Did you jerk off
into a sock when you were 12?
383
00:13:04,157 --> 00:13:05,456
Yes, but who didn't?
Okay, yeah.
384
00:13:05,524 --> 00:13:07,392
Camp Whiterow.
You scored ten points
385
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:09,293
in the color war game,
you came home,
386
00:13:09,361 --> 00:13:11,296
you told everybody you scored 28.
28.
387
00:13:11,364 --> 00:13:14,265
In the sixth grade you played Ali
Hakim in Oklahoma! In Oklahoma!
388
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,335
Oh, yeah. They cut the song. Yeah,
they cut my song, "It's a Scandal!
389
00:13:16,402 --> 00:13:17,903
"It's a Scandal, It's a-a... It's
an Outrage!" It's an Outrage!"
390
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,370
It was scandal!
A scandal!
391
00:13:19,438 --> 00:13:21,105
BOTH:
It was an outrage!
392
00:13:21,173 --> 00:13:22,573
So you're me.
393
00:13:22,642 --> 00:13:23,708
Sorry to say I am.
394
00:13:23,775 --> 00:13:26,378
Yes, I'm Ruxin from the future.
395
00:13:26,446 --> 00:13:28,679
The hair's a bummer, man.
396
00:13:28,748 --> 00:13:30,827
The hair's a real bummer.
You know why that happened.
397
00:13:30,884 --> 00:13:32,783
No.
After you told Andre,
398
00:13:32,851 --> 00:13:35,888
you lost your job, you lost your
friends, you lost the league.
399
00:13:35,955 --> 00:13:38,274
So you're saying that because
I told Andre, I lost my hair?
400
00:13:38,323 --> 00:13:39,691
Yeah, I got used to it
after a while.
401
00:13:39,759 --> 00:13:41,360
Really?
Yeah.
402
00:13:41,427 --> 00:13:42,827
Do women?
There's a small
403
00:13:42,895 --> 00:13:45,096
percentage that has a thing for it.
Really?
404
00:13:45,163 --> 00:13:47,532
Yes. Those are the ones
you got to go after.
405
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,634
How are they?
406
00:13:48,701 --> 00:13:50,335
Not great.
Yeah.
407
00:13:50,403 --> 00:13:52,638
Hey, come on, I want to show you something.
Just show it to me here.
408
00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:54,306
I can't show it to you,
I'm comfortable in bed.
409
00:13:54,374 --> 00:13:55,606
Why do I have to get up and go somewhere?
Get-get up.
410
00:13:55,674 --> 00:13:58,309
Come on, let's go.
I want to show you something.
411
00:13:58,378 --> 00:14:00,812
All right, all right, all right.
412
00:14:00,879 --> 00:14:02,581
(both sigh)
413
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,653
So, what, I make some decision
414
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,788
to tell Andre, the league falls
apart, everything goes to shit?
415
00:14:10,856 --> 00:14:11,456
Even worse.
416
00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:14,458
Holy shit, that's the Oracle.
417
00:14:14,527 --> 00:14:15,726
JENNY:
The Freaky Friedman kid?
418
00:14:15,727 --> 00:14:18,029
I kind of want to talk to him.
Okay,
419
00:14:18,096 --> 00:14:19,298
I'll pay for the nuts. Oracle!
420
00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:22,100
Still licking food
and putting it back. Classic.
421
00:14:22,168 --> 00:14:24,336
Exse me? You still play
fantasy football, man?
422
00:14:24,403 --> 00:14:25,903
I'm having problems
with my number-two running back
423
00:14:25,971 --> 00:14:27,572
this week.
I got Melvin Gordon.
424
00:14:27,639 --> 00:14:28,974
ORACLE:
I wouldn't worry about it.
425
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:31,543
See, what happens
this week is...
426
00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:33,312
you die.
427
00:14:33,379 --> 00:14:35,746
(snorts)
Okay. Uh, you don't have to get
428
00:14:35,815 --> 00:14:38,283
so dramatic, man. I haven't
told you the rest of my lineup.
429
00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:40,351
I got Melvin Gordon or...
(grunts)
430
00:14:40,419 --> 00:14:41,519
(gasping)
431
00:14:45,591 --> 00:14:47,058
Kevin? Kevin?
432
00:14:47,125 --> 00:14:48,493
Kevin?! Kevin, oh, my God,
help me! Help!
433
00:14:48,561 --> 00:14:50,328
Oh, my God.
434
00:14:50,395 --> 00:14:52,331
I can't believe Jenny's a widow.
Well,
435
00:14:52,398 --> 00:14:53,432
I didn't exactly say that.
436
00:14:53,499 --> 00:14:56,335
(breathing heavily)
437
00:14:58,738 --> 00:15:00,371
Honey, I'm home from work.
438
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,773
How was your day?
439
00:15:01,841 --> 00:15:04,076
Those kids wanted a spaceman
at their birthday party
440
00:15:04,143 --> 00:15:05,711
and they got one.
I bet they did.
441
00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:08,679
Ellie, dinner!
442
00:15:08,748 --> 00:15:10,381
I heard you, Mom.
Oh, my God.
443
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,317
Ugh, yuck.
I'll eat at the tattoo parlor.
444
00:15:12,384 --> 00:15:13,684
Such a hard worker.
445
00:15:13,753 --> 00:15:14,586
Sweetheart, what are
you gonna eat there--
446
00:15:14,653 --> 00:15:15,620
Red Bull and vodka?
447
00:15:15,687 --> 00:15:17,655
Maybe, biatch.
448
00:15:17,724 --> 00:15:19,390
Are you gonna be bringing home
the older gentleman
449
00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:20,725
you're in a casual
relationship with?
450
00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:23,894
And don'foet to pick up
your kid at day care.
451
00:15:23,962 --> 00:15:26,097
There he is.
452
00:15:26,164 --> 00:15:29,167
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
not so fast, young man.
453
00:15:29,235 --> 00:15:30,268
(gasps)
Oh.
454
00:15:30,336 --> 00:15:31,802
Chalupa Batman, is that a joint?
455
00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:33,238
What did I tell you?
456
00:15:33,306 --> 00:15:36,040
Do notteal from your
father's stash. m.
457
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,509
Usyo vape instead.
458
00:15:37,576 --> 00:15:39,411
Attaboy.
459
00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:41,346
Look at this family
we've got, huh?
460
00:15:41,413 --> 00:15:42,813
(both grunting)
461
00:15:42,881 --> 00:15:44,883
Let's do it in front of the kid.
462
00:15:44,951 --> 00:15:46,618
Okay.
Okay, fine.
463
00:15:46,686 --> 00:15:48,486
I want to see what happens
if I don't tell Andre.
464
00:15:48,553 --> 00:15:49,553
Do I win The Shiva?
465
00:15:49,621 --> 00:15:51,556
Maybe.
466
00:15:51,624 --> 00:15:54,225
Mm.
Mm.
467
00:15:54,293 --> 00:15:56,427
You know, it is so flattering,
468
00:15:56,495 --> 00:16:00,065
but you do not have to blast
my name every time you climax.
469
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,566
I actuly lally do.
470
00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:03,869
No, you don't.
471
00:16:03,936 --> 00:16:05,437
Well, I'm happy you're happy,
because now
472
00:16:05,504 --> 00:16:07,505
you're stuck with me, Rodney.
473
00:16:07,572 --> 00:16:09,640
Everybody calls me Somakanakram.
474
00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:11,308
I can't believe
you took my name.
475
00:16:11,376 --> 00:16:14,145
And legally changed my
first name to Ruxin.
476
00:16:14,212 --> 00:16:16,313
(giggles)
477
00:16:16,381 --> 00:16:18,182
Okay, well, good to know
what happens, theoretically,
478
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,818
in the future, but what happens
this year-- do I win the league?
479
00:16:20,886 --> 00:16:23,355
That's up to you.
480
00:16:23,423 --> 00:16:26,457
So... Okay, I'll-I'll make
a decision here, just...
481
00:16:26,525 --> 00:16:28,460
I mean,
what do you think, do I play
482
00:16:28,528 --> 00:16:30,128
LeSe McCoy-- does he
end up having a good week?
483
00:16:30,196 --> 00:16:31,317
Come on, do the right thing.
484
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:32,596
I would do the right thing
if I knew
485
00:16:32,664 --> 00:16:34,165
I had a rock-solid lineup.
486
00:16:34,232 --> 00:16:36,334
Stop tinkering and choose.
487
00:16:36,402 --> 00:16:39,236
Okay, fine. But you know where
I like to do my final tinkers.
488
00:16:39,304 --> 00:16:42,573
Yes, I know where you like to
do your final tinkers. Mm.
489
00:16:42,642 --> 00:16:43,942
Mm.
490
00:16:44,009 --> 00:16:45,443
Mm.
Mm.
491
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:46,544
Mm.
492
00:16:46,611 --> 00:16:48,813
Mm...
Mm...
493
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,249
All right, I don't think
I need to be here for this.
494
00:16:51,317 --> 00:16:53,451
I will, uh, let myself out.
495
00:16:53,519 --> 00:16:55,352
Wow. I mean,
496
00:16:55,421 --> 00:16:57,755
what a pleasure!
What a pleasure!
497
00:16:57,823 --> 00:17:00,325
We have to get together!
We have to get together!
498
00:17:00,393 --> 00:17:02,027
Aw... Oh, yeah.
Aw... Oh, yeah.
499
00:17:02,095 --> 00:17:04,729
Uh, yeah, okay. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, uh...
500
00:17:04,797 --> 00:17:06,998
Yeah, sure.
501
00:17:07,066 --> 00:17:08,633
Mm...
502
00:17:10,603 --> 00:17:12,436
Mm.
503
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,307
Is there a problem?
Nope.
504
00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:17,442
No problem.
505
00:17:17,509 --> 00:17:19,978
I just kind of forgot, uh...
506
00:17:27,252 --> 00:17:29,153
(scoffs)
I hate myself.
507
00:17:29,221 --> 00:17:31,388
(computer beeps, Ruxin groans)
508
00:17:31,457 --> 00:17:34,192
Oh, no, no!
509
00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:37,128
Getting older sucks.
510
00:17:37,195 --> 00:17:40,164
Whoa.
511
00:17:40,232 --> 00:17:41,532
Pete Eckhart.
Hey.
512
00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:43,201
Hi, I'm James.
I'm with DraftKings.
513
00:17:43,269 --> 00:17:45,436
Welcome to fantasy football
world championships. Thanks.
514
00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:47,005
Little FYI-- tournament's
no different
515
00:17:47,073 --> 00:17:48,440
than what you've been
doing all season.
516
00:17:48,508 --> 00:17:50,474
Here's the thing, there's
only ten players.
517
00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:51,910
Highest score wins it all.
518
00:17:51,978 --> 00:17:53,144
Oh, that's crazy--
my league is actually
519
00:17:53,211 --> 00:17:54,578
doing the same thing this week.
520
00:17:54,646 --> 00:17:55,614
Your other league
allows you to win
521
00:17:55,681 --> 00:17:57,115
a million dollars at the end?
522
00:17:57,182 --> 00:17:59,017
No, we-we compete for a trophy.
It's... it's actually
523
00:17:59,085 --> 00:18:00,852
named after this girl
we went to high school with.
524
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,054
Her name... Great story. Nicky,
get him a ticket to paradise,
525
00:18:03,122 --> 00:18:04,422
show him to his table.
526
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:05,923
Good luck, Peter.
Uh, okay, yeah.
527
00:18:05,991 --> 00:18:07,092
See you out there, man.
528
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,361
This...
529
00:18:10,829 --> 00:18:12,196
Oh, you know, I'm
in my high school
530
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:13,798
league championships
at the same time,
531
00:18:13,865 --> 00:18:15,066
so I'm pulling double duty.
532
00:18:15,134 --> 00:18:16,300
Yeah, you should
definitely work on that.
533
00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:18,435
I'll, uh, focus
on winning a million dollars.
534
00:18:18,503 --> 00:18:19,804
Dick.
535
00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:21,806
He's actually right.
The hell am I doing?
536
00:18:21,874 --> 00:18:24,142
All right, set that lineup.
537
00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:26,377
Adrian Peterson. My Eskimo
brother. I mean, it's A.D.--
538
00:18:26,444 --> 00:18:28,547
you got to do it, right? Are you
trying to look at my lineup?
539
00:18:28,614 --> 00:18:30,315
No, I was just
talking about football.
540
00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:32,416
Why would I want to talk
about football with you?
541
00:18:32,484 --> 00:18:34,451
I'm actively trying to beat you.
542
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:35,619
I also want you to lose.
543
00:18:35,688 --> 00:18:37,454
This is really fun.
544
00:18:37,522 --> 00:18:39,590
I cannot believe
that we are ending the season
545
00:18:39,659 --> 00:18:41,159
like we began it--
546
00:18:41,227 --> 00:18:43,194
in shitty costumes.
547
00:18:43,261 --> 00:18:45,997
Relax and behold
the Maha Shivaratri.
548
00:18:46,065 --> 00:18:47,865
The great night of Shiva.
549
00:18:47,933 --> 00:18:49,233
Wait, is this, like,
a real religious ceremony?
550
00:18:49,301 --> 00:18:50,602
Yeah.
551
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:53,672
Om Namah Shivaya.
Praise Shiva.
552
00:18:53,739 --> 00:18:55,105
Praise Shiva.
Praise Shiva.
553
00:18:55,173 --> 00:18:56,641
RUXIN: Praise Shiva.
ANDRE: Praise Shiva. We do not
554
00:18:56,709 --> 00:18:57,608
belong here.
We absolutely
555
00:18:57,676 --> 00:18:59,144
belong here.
556
00:18:59,211 --> 00:19:01,112
KEVIN: Yeah, we've got
The Shiva, The Sacko...
557
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:02,980
And don't forget The Snip.
558
00:19:03,048 --> 00:19:04,682
Ah. I got to hand
it to you, Commish.
559
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:05,983
How'd you swing this place?
560
00:19:06,051 --> 00:19:08,019
Oh, I told 'em
that the trophies were...
561
00:19:08,086 --> 00:19:09,721
a special offering.
562
00:19:09,788 --> 00:19:10,855
And I did bring a way
563
00:19:10,923 --> 00:19:12,856
for us to watch the late games
564
00:19:12,924 --> 00:19:14,459
on the iPad.
565
00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:16,361
Ooh, all praise Wi-Fi.
566
00:19:16,429 --> 00:19:17,662
While we're on the subject
of praising,
567
00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:19,763
let's do this right, shall we?
568
00:19:19,832 --> 00:19:21,499
For you.
What are you doing?
569
00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:23,667
There are no false idols.
570
00:19:23,736 --> 00:19:25,836
(speaking foreign language)
571
00:19:25,904 --> 00:19:27,404
Oh, oh, guys, guys,
572
00:19:27,472 --> 00:19:28,573
quiet, it's starting.
573
00:19:28,641 --> 00:19:30,375
(speaks foreign language)
574
00:19:30,442 --> 00:19:32,277
(Indian pop music playing)
575
00:19:38,884 --> 00:19:41,286
That's cool.
How are the Bears doing?
576
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:44,888
(man singing
in foreign language)
577
00:19:44,957 --> 00:19:47,959
(whoops)
Yeah!
578
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:52,163
Put your hands up!
Put your hands up! Ooh!
579
00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:53,530
♪ ♪
580
00:19:53,598 --> 00:19:55,567
Ooh! Ooh!
581
00:19:55,634 --> 00:19:56,367
Taco!
582
00:19:56,434 --> 00:19:58,002
What's going on, guys?
583
00:19:58,069 --> 00:20:01,006
I have reappeared. Smoke.
584
00:20:01,073 --> 00:20:02,173
I couldn't stay away,
585
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,708
even if means going to jail.
586
00:20:03,776 --> 00:20:04,875
How's it going?
587
00:20:04,943 --> 00:20:06,211
You come to this temple often?
588
00:20:06,278 --> 00:20:07,211
Taco, get over here!
589
00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:08,880
I'll talk to you later.
590
00:20:08,948 --> 00:20:09,948
♪ ♪
591
00:20:10,016 --> 00:20:11,449
Hey, guys.
592
00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:12,416
What are you doing?
593
00:20:12,484 --> 00:20:13,951
Oh, look at all these people
594
00:20:14,019 --> 00:20:16,221
worshiping The Shiva.
595
00:20:16,288 --> 00:20:18,884
Fantasy football's really taken
off over the past few years.
596
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,772
Yes! Matt Forte, TD!
That was a value pick, too.
597
00:20:22,893 --> 00:20:24,794
Suck it, shit-sippers!
598
00:20:24,862 --> 00:20:27,297
Excuse me. That's
inappropriate language.
599
00:20:27,364 --> 00:20:28,998
Well, it's smack talk.
This is fantasy.
600
00:20:29,066 --> 00:20:31,534
Come on.
Why would you think that I sip shit?
601
00:20:31,602 --> 00:20:33,201
Oh, you know what?
Forget it. You...
602
00:20:33,269 --> 00:20:34,304
(cheering on TV)
Aaron Rodgers!
603
00:20:34,371 --> 00:20:35,605
TD! Come on!
604
00:20:35,673 --> 00:20:36,772
MAN:
Stop.
605
00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,473
Don't look at me.
606
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:40,009
I want to foot-punch
your face.
607
00:20:40,076 --> 00:20:41,743
I don't care.
I'm winning.
608
00:20:41,811 --> 00:20:44,681
(speaking foreign language)
609
00:20:44,748 --> 00:20:46,715
Ooh, Rudolfo,
give me a spritz of that.
610
00:20:46,784 --> 00:20:49,419
You know what? Give me a little
kiss on this cheek, too.
611
00:20:49,486 --> 00:20:51,119
(silly giggling)
612
00:20:51,188 --> 00:20:53,388
Looks like The Sacko is
concluding first. Oh.
613
00:20:53,457 --> 00:20:57,192
And tied with the lowest score,
we have Pete and Taco.
614
00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:58,694
Who's The Sacko?
Pete's got no one left,
615
00:20:58,761 --> 00:21:00,797
and you have Justin Tucker.
616
00:21:00,864 --> 00:21:02,699
Baltimore is about to
kick you guys. Yup.
617
00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:03,726
Justin Tucker's a kicker?
618
00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:04,634
Yup.
Yes!
619
00:21:04,701 --> 00:21:06,234
I had Justin Tucker once.
620
00:21:06,303 --> 00:21:07,903
You've had every kicker once.
621
00:21:07,971 --> 00:21:10,707
Guys, I won! Pete Eckhart!
I won a million dollars!
622
00:21:10,773 --> 00:21:12,642
Yeah, you're also about to get The Sacko,
so... MAN (on TV): Justin Tucker...
623
00:21:12,710 --> 00:21:14,443
gets ready for the kick from
47 yards out. Oh, shit.
624
00:21:14,510 --> 00:21:15,545
Oh, kick is up. MAN (on
TV): The kick is up.
625
00:21:15,613 --> 00:21:17,380
And... ooh, no good.
626
00:21:17,448 --> 00:21:19,082
Yes!
Mm. No. Flag.
627
00:21:19,148 --> 00:21:20,583
MAN (on TV): Wait. We've got
a flag on the play. Oh.
628
00:21:20,651 --> 00:21:22,484
Offside. Pittsburgh
five-yard penalty.
629
00:21:22,553 --> 00:21:23,452
KEVIN:
Offsides on Pittsburgh!
630
00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:24,653
Aah!
Offside?
631
00:21:24,721 --> 00:21:26,521
That is a shitty call!
632
00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:27,824
I don't know.
The ref said.
633
00:21:27,891 --> 00:21:29,592
Yeah. Refs.
Okay. All right.
634
00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:31,094
Uh. Rekick. MAN (on TV):
Here's the rekick. It's up.
635
00:21:31,161 --> 00:21:32,929
And it's good.
And it's...
636
00:21:32,997 --> 00:21:34,156
Another three points.
...good.
637
00:21:34,163 --> 00:21:36,566
Oh, son of a... Sacko!
638
00:21:36,634 --> 00:21:38,433
No, no, no, I saw him miss it.
639
00:21:38,501 --> 00:21:39,801
I lost fair and square.
640
00:21:39,869 --> 00:21:41,537
He didn't have
to redo it for me.
641
00:21:41,605 --> 00:21:44,173
Pete, you lost because of
a bad call from the ref.
642
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,674
Karma's a real bitch.
643
00:21:45,742 --> 00:21:48,577
Should I remind you guys that
I just won a million dollars?
644
00:21:48,645 --> 00:21:50,646
Should I remind you
you are... Sacko!
645
00:21:50,713 --> 00:21:51,614
Sacko!
646
00:21:51,682 --> 00:21:52,548
Sacko!
Sacko!
647
00:21:52,615 --> 00:21:53,348
Oh, Sacko!
648
00:21:53,416 --> 00:21:54,116
♪ Sack-oh! ♪
649
00:21:54,183 --> 00:21:55,018
Sacko!
650
00:21:55,085 --> 00:21:57,086
Sacko del Toro!
651
00:21:57,153 --> 00:21:59,689
You know, I am rich enough that
this really shouldn't bother me,
652
00:21:59,757 --> 00:22:00,957
but this really bothers me!
653
00:22:01,025 --> 00:22:03,125
Money can't buy you
not-Sacko-ness.
654
00:22:03,192 --> 00:22:05,662
What about The Shiva?
We'll find out soon enough.
655
00:22:05,729 --> 00:22:06,762
Ladies and gentlemen,
please come
656
00:22:06,829 --> 00:22:08,397
and seek the blessings
of Lord Shiva.
657
00:22:08,464 --> 00:22:09,731
Oh, now's the time. Here we go, guys.
PETE: Oh.
658
00:22:09,799 --> 00:22:11,366
This?
Yup, this way. Come on.
659
00:22:11,434 --> 00:22:13,869
Here we go. This.
660
00:22:13,936 --> 00:22:16,838
ALL (chanting): Om Namah Shivaya.
Om Namah Shivaya.
661
00:22:16,906 --> 00:22:19,976
Om Namah Shivaya.
662
00:22:20,044 --> 00:22:23,813
Om Namah Shivaya.Om Namah Shivaya.
663
00:22:23,881 --> 00:22:28,417
(shouting):
Shiva Komedi Somakanakram!
664
00:22:28,484 --> 00:22:29,685
(whoops) Excuse me. What...?
665
00:22:29,752 --> 00:22:31,453
Just, with you in one second.
666
00:22:31,521 --> 00:22:34,156
Now, first up, the Fertility Bowl.
(Jenny laughs)
667
00:22:34,223 --> 00:22:36,125
With a score of 87 to 76,
668
00:22:36,192 --> 00:22:37,492
I am happy to announce
669
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,628
I am keeping my parts
the way they are!
670
00:22:39,697 --> 00:22:40,797
What? No! No!
Yes!
671
00:22:40,864 --> 00:22:42,365
You give me that!
Let me see that!
672
00:22:42,432 --> 00:22:43,732
I'm sorry about your balls, Jenny.
What?
673
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:44,901
Shut up, Pete!
But if you're gonna
674
00:22:44,968 --> 00:22:46,134
open up the hood, you should
675
00:22:46,202 --> 00:22:47,269
let me in there,
and I could just get...
676
00:22:47,336 --> 00:22:49,538
What? No! Shut up
about my parts!
677
00:22:49,605 --> 00:22:51,473
Jenny, here's the Snip.
You are the winner. No.
678
00:22:51,541 --> 00:22:53,276
No, I'm not taking that!
This whole thing is stupid!
679
00:22:53,343 --> 00:22:55,577
I'm not doing this!
Jenny! Oh, Jenny, come on!
680
00:22:55,645 --> 00:22:57,246
Don't... What? What? No,
no, no, no, no, no. Shiva.
681
00:22:57,314 --> 00:22:58,614
Shiva, Shiva, Shiva.
All right, fine.
682
00:22:58,682 --> 00:23:00,016
I wasn't gonna make her do it.
683
00:23:00,084 --> 00:23:01,723
I just wanted
to lord my victory over her.
684
00:23:01,751 --> 00:23:03,720
Hurry up! Hurry up!
Everyone waiting here!
685
00:23:03,787 --> 00:23:05,621
Chill out.
Your league'll be next.
686
00:23:05,689 --> 00:23:07,856
Now to the main event--
the Shiva Bowl.
687
00:23:07,924 --> 00:23:09,192
PETE:
Fine.
688
00:23:09,259 --> 00:23:10,625
And the winner is...
689
00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:12,528
a tie
690
00:23:12,596 --> 00:23:13,695
between Ruxin
691
00:23:13,763 --> 00:23:15,664
and the Coin-- 84 to 84.
692
00:23:15,732 --> 00:23:16,999
Well, so that means I won.
693
00:23:17,067 --> 00:23:18,634
No, we have to go
to the tie-breakers. We...
694
00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:19,902
The tie-breakers are
all even, as well.
695
00:23:19,970 --> 00:23:21,570
Points, record,
head-to-head.
696
00:23:21,637 --> 00:23:23,038
Well, I won.
I mean, what are you gonna do?
697
00:23:23,106 --> 00:23:24,272
How are we gonna solve this?
698
00:23:24,340 --> 00:23:25,474
I say flip the Coin.
Yes.
699
00:23:25,541 --> 00:23:26,843
Flip the Coin?
700
00:23:26,910 --> 00:23:29,244
The Coin is obviously
gonna choose himself.
701
00:23:29,313 --> 00:23:30,579
Come on. What do you
mean, "choose himself"?
702
00:23:30,646 --> 00:23:31,580
It's Coin collusion!
PETE: Okay, here it is.
703
00:23:31,647 --> 00:23:32,981
It is not Coin collusion.
704
00:23:33,049 --> 00:23:34,383
I mean, this is a classic
case of Coin collusion!
705
00:23:34,451 --> 00:23:35,651
Well, how do we break
the tie then?
706
00:23:35,719 --> 00:23:36,986
You can't have a race,
you can't...
707
00:23:37,054 --> 00:23:38,921
Just...
flip it!
708
00:23:38,989 --> 00:23:41,089
You heard the man. All
right, we'll flip the Coin.
709
00:23:41,157 --> 00:23:42,759
You can call it
in the air, okay?
710
00:23:42,826 --> 00:23:44,393
Oh, thanks so much.
711
00:23:44,461 --> 00:23:45,595
Here we go.
712
00:23:46,563 --> 00:23:49,265
♪ ♪
713
00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:50,098
Heads. No. Tails.
714
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,640
Oh!
715
00:23:57,708 --> 00:23:59,776
Mother
716
00:23:59,843 --> 00:24:02,310
fuck!
717
00:24:02,378 --> 00:24:03,512
Fuck you, future Ruxin!
718
00:24:03,579 --> 00:24:04,946
He fucked me!
719
00:24:05,015 --> 00:24:06,249
If I ever see him again,
720
00:24:06,316 --> 00:24:08,017
I'm gonna chop off both
of his butt cheeks,
721
00:24:08,085 --> 00:24:10,219
use 'em as buns, then chop off
722
00:24:10,287 --> 00:24:12,587
his meaty clackers,
stick 'em together
723
00:24:12,655 --> 00:24:15,758
in a big meatball sub,
and then make him eat it!
724
00:24:15,826 --> 00:24:17,058
Okay, I'm gonna go see how
725
00:24:17,126 --> 00:24:18,594
Jenny's doing, so...
726
00:24:18,662 --> 00:24:20,229
You had to tinker
on the Coin flip.
727
00:24:20,297 --> 00:24:22,330
PETE:
Is this what it comes down to?
728
00:24:22,398 --> 00:24:24,066
I mean, a coin
is our Shiva Bowl champion?
729
00:24:24,134 --> 00:24:26,402
Shiva, is this what you want?
730
00:24:26,470 --> 00:24:28,471
Are we all so unworthy?
Yes.
731
00:24:28,538 --> 00:24:29,971
Now, get the hell off my stage!
732
00:24:30,039 --> 00:24:31,374
Well, I'll just keep this for safekeeping.
Ooh! Change.
733
00:24:31,441 --> 00:24:32,808
Here we go.
734
00:24:32,875 --> 00:24:34,242
Just total bullshit!
RUXIN: Get your trophy.
735
00:24:34,310 --> 00:24:36,244
Oh. Oh, get my trophy, Ruxin?
736
00:24:36,313 --> 00:24:37,779
I will get my trophy.
737
00:24:37,847 --> 00:24:41,416
I will get my trophy, and then
I will throw it directly into
738
00:24:41,484 --> 00:24:42,718
the trash! Guys, I couldn't
find Jenny... Hey!
739
00:24:42,786 --> 00:24:44,052
(Kevin and Jenny screaming)
740
00:24:44,121 --> 00:24:44,886
ALL: Oh! JENNY: Oh, my God!
741
00:24:44,954 --> 00:24:45,855
(Kevin screams in high pitch)
742
00:24:45,923 --> 00:24:47,490
Oh, my God!
743
00:24:47,557 --> 00:24:49,392
(high-pitched screaming)
744
00:24:49,459 --> 00:24:51,059
JENNY: Oh, no!
KEVIN: Oh!
745
00:24:51,127 --> 00:24:52,961
Ohno Oh, God, is it bad?
746
00:24:53,029 --> 00:24:54,529
No.
No.
747
00:24:54,597 --> 00:24:56,265
Yeah, it's awful.
748
00:24:56,333 --> 00:24:57,400
RUXIN:
Ugh, what a tragedy.
749
00:24:57,467 --> 00:24:59,935
I can't believe
I lost to the Coin.
750
00:25:00,002 --> 00:25:01,671
What the fuck is going on?
751
00:25:01,738 --> 00:25:03,698
Just normal fantasy football stuff.
(Kevin screams)
752
00:25:05,181 --> 00:25:07,515
(beeping)
KEVIN: What's going on? What happened?
753
00:25:07,781 --> 00:25:09,148
Just relax, Kevin.
754
00:25:09,217 --> 00:25:10,983
You've lost a lot of blood,
but you're gonna be fine.
755
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:13,353
It smells like bacon.
That...
756
00:25:13,421 --> 00:25:14,587
is not bacon.
757
00:25:14,655 --> 00:25:16,022
We're cauterizing
the smaller vessels.
758
00:25:16,089 --> 00:25:17,758
(gasping)
759
00:25:20,161 --> 00:25:22,528
(sighs)
760
00:25:22,596 --> 00:25:25,398
Hey, handsome, you're awake.
761
00:25:25,467 --> 00:25:26,967
What happened? SHIVA: Kevin,
762
00:25:27,035 --> 00:25:29,702
you've suffered extensive trauma
from a sharp object.
763
00:25:29,770 --> 00:25:30,570
Oh. What?
764
00:25:30,637 --> 00:25:32,138
We couldn't save your testicles.
765
00:25:32,207 --> 00:25:33,507
Oh.
Oh, God.
766
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,442
Kevin, you got straight-up
snipped by the Snip.
767
00:25:35,509 --> 00:25:36,844
Oh. So I'm gonna lose my balls?
768
00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:37,778
They are gone.
769
00:25:37,846 --> 00:25:39,011
Did you keep them?
770
00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:40,681
Well, I can ask.
771
00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:42,148
Please.
772
00:25:42,217 --> 00:25:43,916
I want them to go in The Sacko.
773
00:25:45,319 --> 00:25:47,186
PETE:
I will go look
774
00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:48,489
in the Dumpster right now
if that's where they are...
775
00:25:48,556 --> 00:25:49,756
RUXIN:
Hold on, so,
776
00:25:49,824 --> 00:25:52,259
Pete wins The Sacko,
which means he gets Andre's
777
00:25:52,326 --> 00:25:54,728
beach house, and he now has
the money to fix it up,
778
00:25:54,796 --> 00:25:56,896
and he gets Kevin's balls?
779
00:25:56,964 --> 00:25:58,999
How is this a Sacko punishment?
780
00:25:59,067 --> 00:26:01,367
Well,
as The Sacko commissioner, um...
781
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:04,938
It is decided?
782
00:26:05,006 --> 00:26:09,242
I'm sorry. Kevin just lost
both of his testicles, and
783
00:26:09,309 --> 00:26:10,777
all you care about
is your league?
784
00:26:10,845 --> 00:26:12,512
(quietly): Hmm. Yeah...
KEVIN: Yes.
785
00:26:12,579 --> 00:26:14,146
It was what
I was thinking about, too.
786
00:26:14,214 --> 00:26:15,548
Well, at least
you guys are consistent.
787
00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:16,978
Ever since I've
known you, you have
788
00:26:17,018 --> 00:26:19,219
never stopped being stupid.
789
00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,921
Kevin, I've given this
a lot of thought,
790
00:26:20,989 --> 00:26:24,590
and I'm willing to donate
one of my testicles to you.
791
00:26:24,659 --> 00:26:26,859
No, I don't want it. It'll
be the one I use less.
792
00:26:26,928 --> 00:26:28,961
Like the lazy-eye testicle,
the one that wanders.
793
00:26:29,029 --> 00:26:30,963
Here, feel this guy right here.
No. God almighty, Taco.
794
00:26:31,031 --> 00:26:32,365
That guy.
Oh, my God.
795
00:26:32,432 --> 00:26:33,567
JENNY: Oh, God. It's
gonna be yours.
796
00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:35,067
It's gonna be in you.
797
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,202
ANDRE:
I just want you to know that
798
00:26:36,270 --> 00:26:37,304
I'll do the procedure.
799
00:26:37,372 --> 00:26:38,739
Let me see the canvas
800
00:26:38,806 --> 00:26:40,240
I'm working with here.
(gasps) TACO: Oh!
801
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:42,675
Oh, looks like someone sucked
the pork out of a dumpling.
802
00:26:42,743 --> 00:26:44,243
Well, guess
that's the end of the season.
803
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:45,746
All the winners and losers
are accounted for.
804
00:26:45,813 --> 00:26:47,146
Except for one, Pete.
805
00:26:47,214 --> 00:26:49,650
May I remind you of a bet
that you and I had...
806
00:26:49,717 --> 00:26:51,617
Mm. ...about who would be happier
at the end of the season.
807
00:26:51,685 --> 00:26:54,488
Right. Yes. And I know that you
won the house and all that money.
808
00:26:54,556 --> 00:26:57,423
But I... am gonna be the father
809
00:26:57,491 --> 00:27:00,160
of a beautiful baby boy.
810
00:27:00,228 --> 00:27:02,095
I won, and it's not even close.
811
00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:03,630
Well, Andre, I cannot
compete with that.
812
00:27:03,698 --> 00:27:05,566
As a consolation prize,
813
00:27:05,633 --> 00:27:07,733
I'll quit my job,
I'll never work again,
814
00:27:07,801 --> 00:27:09,869
and I will buy a first-class
plane ticket
815
00:27:09,938 --> 00:27:11,538
and fly off
into the California sunset.
816
00:27:11,605 --> 00:27:12,806
Woe is me.
817
00:27:12,874 --> 00:27:15,375
Arrivederci.
818
00:27:15,442 --> 00:27:17,477
You know what Pete used
to say about fantasy football?
819
00:27:17,545 --> 00:27:19,546
"There are many things a man
can do with his time,
820
00:27:19,614 --> 00:27:21,548
"but this...
821
00:27:21,615 --> 00:27:23,349
is better than those things."
822
00:27:23,417 --> 00:27:24,951
(gasps)
823
00:27:25,019 --> 00:27:27,688
Did you feel that?
Oh, my God, it kicked!
824
00:27:27,755 --> 00:27:29,021
We need to Vine this.
Let's go. Come on.
825
00:27:29,089 --> 00:27:30,390
Okay.
Oh, my God...
826
00:27:30,458 --> 00:27:31,692
MEEGAN: It's so
exciting when he kicks!
827
00:27:31,759 --> 00:27:33,460
They seem happy.
828
00:27:33,528 --> 00:27:35,061
We're not gonna
tell Andre, right?
829
00:27:35,128 --> 00:27:36,997
Wait. You knew?
830
00:27:37,065 --> 00:27:41,567
This unmentionable
stays unmentioned.
831
00:27:41,635 --> 00:27:43,302
At least until the kid's
18th birthday.
832
00:27:43,371 --> 00:27:45,471
Mm. You want to get a
coffee, talk about it?
833
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:47,840
Let's go.
834
00:27:51,346 --> 00:27:53,079
Happy 18th birthday, son.
835
00:27:53,146 --> 00:27:56,750
Thank you. I have spared no expense
making you into a great man.
836
00:27:56,817 --> 00:27:59,286
Enrolling you
in the best magic camps
837
00:27:59,354 --> 00:28:01,488
and teaching you
the fine art of haberdashery.
838
00:28:01,556 --> 00:28:04,391
But this is the one
I'm most excited about.
839
00:28:04,459 --> 00:28:05,692
Your own fantasy team.
840
00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:07,227
Really, Father?
841
00:28:07,295 --> 00:28:08,795
Welcome to the league!
842
00:28:08,863 --> 00:28:10,329
(laughs)
843
00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:12,465
Welcome to the league!
844
00:28:13,734 --> 00:28:15,368
Okay.
845
00:28:15,435 --> 00:28:17,703
Huh? Your first
message board message!
846
00:28:17,771 --> 00:28:20,874
Hello, Andre.
You are watching this video
847
00:28:20,942 --> 00:28:22,108
18 years in the future.
848
00:28:22,175 --> 00:28:23,943
Andre, what's the future like?
849
00:28:24,011 --> 00:28:25,945
What are the douchiest
douche bags wearing now?
850
00:28:26,013 --> 00:28:27,948
I don't know.
We are shooting this video
851
00:28:28,016 --> 00:28:31,384
on the day your son,
Andre II, was born.
852
00:28:31,451 --> 00:28:32,818
The Deuce!
853
00:28:32,886 --> 00:28:34,253
Named after your turd
of a father.
854
00:28:34,322 --> 00:28:35,454
He's not... not a turd.
855
00:28:35,522 --> 00:28:37,223
It's actually
a more fashionable way
856
00:28:37,290 --> 00:28:38,991
to say "Junior." KEVIN:
Speaking of which,
857
00:28:39,059 --> 00:28:41,228
we have something
we'd like to tell you.
858
00:28:41,295 --> 00:28:43,296
ALL (to tune of "Hava Nagila"):
♪ Andre is not your father ♪
859
00:28:43,364 --> 00:28:46,133
♪ He's not your papa ♪
860
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,234
♪ Biologically, hey! ♪
861
00:28:48,301 --> 00:28:51,471
♪ Andre is not your pa,
Andre is not your pa ♪
862
00:28:51,538 --> 00:28:54,441
♪ Pa, pa, pa-pa-pa,
Andre's not your pa ♪
863
00:28:54,509 --> 00:28:56,410
♪ Hey! Who... is? ♪
864
00:28:56,477 --> 00:28:58,612
♪ Who, who, is, is? ♪
865
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,846
♪ Pete's your dad, Pete's
your papa, Pete's your dad ♪
866
00:29:00,914 --> 00:29:02,348
♪ Pete's your papa,
Pete's your dad... ♪
867
00:29:02,416 --> 00:29:03,482
Pete's my father?
868
00:29:03,550 --> 00:29:09,155
♪ Pete's your real live dad. ♪
869
00:29:09,222 --> 00:29:10,390
Let's grab a beer sometime.
870
00:29:10,458 --> 00:29:11,590
Welcome to the league, buddy.
871
00:29:11,659 --> 00:29:12,925
Suck it!
872
00:29:12,993 --> 00:29:15,327
(panting softly)
873
00:29:15,395 --> 00:29:16,930
(laughing):
Yes!
874
00:29:16,998 --> 00:29:18,330
(whoops)
875
00:29:18,398 --> 00:29:19,332
(laughing):
Yeah!
876
00:29:20,221 --> 00:29:30,836
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
63621
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.