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What's up guys?

Jeff Blake coming in hot

and holy shit do I have an exciting day planned for us.

Fuck.

I got to remember I can't curse

once I get put on the air.

Shit, shit, shit,

shit, shit, shit.

Ah let me get this out of my system

while I'm still on YouTube.

What can I say? I'm a Jersey guy.

This is my poetry.

All right, guys.

Let's get away from our usual taste and tell format

and,

all right, guys,

let's get away from our usual taste and tell format

and dive little deeper into my family history.

So, come with me on a trip

down to the "Blueberry Capital of the World."

Hammonton, New Jersey.

Some of you guys might remember,

but it's been a little over a year

since I lost my father to a car accident.

Growing up,

I never met anyone from his side of the family.

So in attempt to learn anything about his childhood,

I figured why not use Ancestry and Me

to try to locate any relatives

who could shed some light on his past.

So I spit in a cup,

I sent it in,

I waited three weeks

and boom I'm paired with a common ancestor,

meaning I'm blood-related to someone in their system.

And the story is so insane, it's gonna blow your mind.

And the story is so fucking insane,

it's gonna blow your mind.

The story's crazy.

Working around the clock, 24/7 for you.

Keeping you informed with breaking news.

♪ No, not what we do

♪ Or do we take heed

♪ Swallow our pride

♪ Forsake our greed

♪ To know deep inside

♪ Hold close to our hearts

♪ The truth is within

♪ Right from the start

This can't be right.

I'm gonna call my guy.

Hi.

You've reached the voicemail of Andy Baker,

if this is about shop work,

please leave a message

and I'll get back to you as soon as I can, bye.

Hey Andy. It's Jeff.

I made it down here.

I guess I have myself just a little bit turned around.

I'm trying to find the spot.

So just call me back and let me know where to go.

Well, this is great.

Hello.

Sorry, I was taking a shit, you close?

Beautiful.

So yeah, I made a right at O'Brien,

and I think I'm lost.

Don't you have Google Maps?

Yeah, I have.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What?

Sure.

I'm sorry,

do you have something for me or?

Yeah, hold on, give me a second.

I have no idea what's going on right now.

Hey.

Ooh.

Hey Jeff. It's Andy.

I'm sorry, man.

I just thought it'd be funny to give you a scare.

You okay?

Yeah. You got me.

I did, didn't I?

Yeah.

You wanna come out?

Give me a hug or something.

I tested negative for COVID last week.

All right.

Wow,

is that what you use to film the show with?

Yeah.

May I?

Sure, just be careful.

I will, of course.

This is official.

It's heavy.

How much she set you back?

Enough.

Look at all this stuff.

You know actually, none of the guys on my channel

know who you are yet.

What do you mean?

On the show.

Are you rolling?

I'm always rolling here, come here.

Hey guys, Jeff Blake here

and let's get to the bottom

of the whole mystery of why I took you out here today.

It's with absolute pleasure

that I get to introduce you to my new half brother,

Andy Baker.

Say something.

I wish I wore a nicer shirt.

He's a natural, it's perfect.

You look authentic, all right.

Hey, look, I live right down the street.

If you want, I can drive us.

I can handle it.

You don't trust me?

You live out here all by herself.

Yeah, most of my life now.

Sorry, I can't get over the fact

that I'm related to a celebrity.

I'm not a celebrity.

I just host a YouTube channel.

Oh dude, eating and traveling,

that's a way to make a living.

I wish it was that easy.

I'm working around the clock.

Editing my videos.

Really?

Yeah, but,

can you stop for one second?

Do you mind pulling this over?

Right here?

Yeah, do me a favor.

Do me a favor, take this.

Turn it on me.

You got it?

Yeah. It's good.

What's up guys.

Just want you to know

that last week I got the call,

and I just optioned by the Food Network.

Yeah, that's right.

We're in preliminary negotiations

and there's a really good chance

they're gonna produce me full time.

Holy shit.

Like Anthony Bourdain?

Yeah, just like Anthony Bordain.

Oh my God, dude.

That's amazing.

You must be thrilled.

It's not yet done, you're blocking my view.

You're blocking me from the camera.

I mean, it's not a done deal yet.

You know,

I have two weeks to get together my best stuff into a pilot.

What the hell are you doing here with me?

This is an amazing story.

I figured I could use some of this footage.

You're gonna put me in your show?

Yeah. If you're interesting.

I can be interesting.

Are you hungry?

I can cook us up something.

There's no good restaurants for us to film in?

No man, it's all trash.

Oh, there's Cracker Barrel,

but I'm a great cook.

This is it?

Yeah, man.

Home sweet home.

Look it's me and a live action Bernstein Bear.

Want something to drink?

I love Italian.

Let me get you in focus.

You ever play Fruit Ninja?

The phone game?

Yeah.

Lob me that.

You throw that knife at me, there's gonna be a problem.

I'm not gonna throw the knife at you, I swear.

All right, here we have a Florida Navel Orange.

Oh wow.

You wanna try it?

Yeah.

Use the same one.

I feel like Freddy Krueger.

Choke up on the handle a little bit,

so you're pinching the blade.

Pinch the blade.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What else we got?

Oh yeah?

Pirates of the Caribbean over here.

Throwing and running.

Nice and high.

I'm throwing and running nice and high.

Yeah.

You're ready?

Oh my gosh.

That's good?

Yeah.

I'm not gonna get tetanus?

I don't think so.

Oh my God.

Look how juicy that is.

This is beautiful.

You're making me nervous by going out here.

You get your line.

I got it.

All right. All right.

All right.

Yeah.

See that people.

That's it.

That's how it's done.

Nice.

Step ahead.

I think you're gonna love where I'm taking you.

We're not there yet?

Loosen up a bit man,

this is the perfect way to spend an afternoon.

I'm usually skipping out of the garage

to hit the trails.

Garage?

Yeah.

I work as a mechanic,

a couple of local shops in town.

And then on weekends

I try to pick up stuff from online forums.

Of course, yeah.

Get you in there a little bit.

Do you always work alone?

Yeah, I like to travel light.

What about when you get picked up?

Oh, that'll be different.

Then I'll have a whole production team working with me.

Big shot.

Like I said, I don't have the deal yet.

Anything I can do to help?

Yeah, just keep filming my good side.

This is it?

Yeah.

What do you think?

It's pretty cool, huh?

Yeah.

It's great.

What is it?

Is that a water tower?

It is, yeah.

You hear that?

Yeah.

That's cool. Right?

Oh yeah, it's like liquid gold.

What are you doing?

Oh shit.

It's just like a Moss.

What is that.

I got you.

You got me.

You got me, man.

I didn't think you were actually gonna come.

Why is that?

Given the situation,

your dad and my mom, the affair.

None of that was your fault.

Yeah, I guess.

I'm just glad you decided not to cut me out of your life.

How did you handle the news?

About you?

Yeah, really,

about him lying.

Keeping me a secret all these years.

Andy, we don't even know for sure that he knew about you.

You believe that?

Yeah, he was a pretty honorable guy.

I'll have to take your word for it.

anyway today is about us.

Yeah?

I'm getting pretty hungry.

You wanna grab something to eat?

I already made you lunch.

That wasn't food.

You got anything in mind?

I saw a little spot on the ride in

Here you go.

Thanks so much.

You're very welcome.

I won't.

I'll be very careful.

Are you gonna be in there too?

We're doing the whole thing,

we're framed up.

We're good to go, ready?

Yeah.

What's up guys?

Jeff Blake here out on the farm

and I got a special guest host today, my half-brother.

We got ourselves a nice little feast here,

from where we at?

Walden's Turkey Farm?

Yeah. I never knew this place existed.

What's your favorite TV show?

Hands down "Miami Vice."

We've got to get you one of those suits.

One of those nice pink lavender suits,

with a blue shirt popping out.

Shave that beard off, grow your hair out.

No, you don't like my beard?

I love it.

But in 1980's Miami,

no one had a beard.

I bet someone had a beard.

Yeah, but Sonny Crockett didn't have a beard.

Who's that?

Sonny Crockett? Come on.

Don Johnson.

Was that from the TV show?

Don Johnson. "Sonny Crockett."

Miami vice?

Oh yeah.

Don Johnson had these gold flowing locks.

He had these steely blue eyes.

Don Johnson is like the king of shaking,

as he's acting.

It's boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Take some more.

No, no, no, no, please.

Come on, enjoy it.

You liked it.

I don't wanna take your food, man.

You're not taking,

come on, it's a meal between brothers, have some.

Well our light just died.

Where's that clip?

Here we go.

It's still recording, isn't it?

Set it right there.

There?

Yeah. That's great.

So where else are you going for the pilot?

Right now it's total crunch time.

I'm going to Baltimore this weekend,

then up to Vermont right after.

Baltimore?

I got a gig coming up in Glen Burnie.

Wait no shit.

Yeah, one of the guys from the online forums

needs help installing a transaxle in his old Fiero.

When are you going?

I'm leaving Thursday morning.

Dude, my guy wants it done on Friday.

We should carpool.

Oh yeah, I'd a hundred percent say yeah,

but with the network deal,

I can't really lose any time.

Oh, you won't lose time, man.

I'll help you out.

We'll save time.

I just work a little better on my own.

Okay.

I'll find you and have this quick turnaround, definitely.

I'm not gonna beg you, man.

If you change your mind, you know where to find me.

I appreciate that.

You better.

I had a real great time today, man.

Yeah, I did too.

Thank you.

Well good luck and drive safe man.

Thanks.

Well guys, it could have gone any number of ways,

but I think it went as well as it could have.

Yeah, it was actually pretty good.

Oh shit.

Couple of technical difficulties,

but we're back up and running.

Up next, I'm heading down to Baltimore

to get myself some,

oh damn this thing.

Perfect.

Fuck.

Okay guys.

"Burgers and Brothers,"

the title of my memoir.

Hey, fuck you!

What you get lost again?

Yeah. It's a maze down here.

Listen, if you want that ride down for the gig man,

we can work something out.

Yeah. I wouldn't be in the way?

No, the truth is

you were actually kind of a big help today.

Well I'm in.

Okay, then it's settled.

We got to stay focused all right,

it's still have crunch time for me.

Yeah man, I won't let you down.

Sounds good at nine?

I'll be ready at eight.

Eight it is.

Hey man. You ready to rock and roll?

Just wanna do a good job.

Are you gonna let me drive?

You're supposed to be my camera man.

I thought you wanted to get there on time?

All right, that's recording.

Set.

Action.

Alright.

Dashboard cam check.

So how do I look?

You look fucking great, man.

All right that's one more thing,

We can't curse with the Network watching.

Oh shit, fuck.

I'll start this one over,

Dashboard cam check.

Nice Andy, how do I look like?

Like a star.

Oh that's the answer I'm looking for.

Okay, boss,

so what else am I doing?

This part is kind of simple, all right?

Why don't you just riff with me,

let's see what we can come up with.

Oh no, no.

Oh Yeah, yeah.

Come on, let's have some fun, all right.

What's up guys?

Jeff Blake back on the road again.

This time with my new guest host the notorious Andy Baker.

Andy give the people some love.

As you see,

he's a little too excited for his own good,

but he's doing great so far.

Guys, it's soft shell crab season,

we're heading right down to Baltimore.

Jeff, I don't like to be put on the spot like this.

You're not on the spot,

hey, you're doing great.

Keep this going. Can we reset it?

I want us to go over, I just feel a little-

Guys, soft shell crabs,

Andy, come on can we have some fun-

Can I just reset it?

Stop.

What the fuck was that?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to knock it down.

It's supposed to be funny.

You can't be knocking the equipment around.

I asked you to stop. I can't do this.

You gotta be more careful, okay?

Are you mad?

No, I'm not.

I can't afford to let this stuff get broken, okay?

It's all I have right now.

I understand.

Yeah. Just take a breath next time.

Let me get it.

Just like that.

Nice, it's tricky.

Hey man.

I'm sorry I snapped.

I'm sorry too, man.

Hey, do you think he'd be happy to see us working together?

Who?

Your dad?

I don't know. I think it might be kind of weird for him.

Did he ever hit you?

What?

Your dad?

I wanna know what kind of guy he was.

Where did that come from?

The way you snapped earlier, just,

I've seen that kind of anger before.

He wasn't like that at all, okay?

He was great to me.

All right, he was there every step of the way

when I started out.

He even got me this watch

when my channel hit a hundred thousand subscribers.

That's a hell of a timepiece.

Yeah and he got himself a matching one too.

I never saw him take it off.

That's us

when I was a little.

Sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry he wasn't there for you.

Nothing I can do about that now,

besides I've got the next best thing.

Do you mind pulling over a second?

I've just got something I want to show you.

Yeah. Okay.

I can't believe you got that made.

It's pretty fucking great, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, sorry I cursed.

No, it's okay. I'm gonna beep that out.

That's for you.

what do you think?

It's not a watch, but I think I nailed it.

It's kind of itchy.

We're gonna wear these all week?

No, we're not.

Loosen up, man.

Oh, I'm loose.

You're a little rigid.

This is for sound.

Alright guys.

Jeff Blake here down at the Jersey Shore,

at one of the most revered seafood restaurants

across the...

Back on me Andy, back on me.

That's good. One more time.

Hold on, you're not...

Get me focused.

Okay, gotcha.

All right guys.

Andy, bring it back.

I wanna get this.

It's not staying.

Underneath.

This one?

Yeah, now lock it down.

Oh shit.

What's up guys.

Jeff Blake here down in Wildwood, New Jersey,

at one of the world's most revered seafood restaurants.

Captain Ray's Lobster Bucket

and let's dive on in.

Keep it up.

Stop moving it.

Keep it straight on, okay?

What's up guys?

Jeff Blake down in Wildwood, New Jersey

at one of the country's most revered seafood restaurants.

Captain Ray's Lobster Bucket,

and we're ready to dive in, right?

Andy?

You hungry?

Oh, what do you want me to say now?

Yes.

You ready?

Recording.

Guys,

the ocean is home to many of our friends,

tuna, lobster, oysters.

Captain Ray's Lobster Bucket.

And we are in business, my friend.

I mean, that is fresh caught this morning.

You can tell, look at that.

I mean, there was nothing frozen about that at all.

Seagulls be gone.

It is like an Alfred Hitchcock movie out here right now.

How good was that first bite?

You ate that whole thing already?

Oh, all right.

It's a seagull war zone.

Andy can you pan and get me feeding the seagulls?

Sorry.

It's all right, don't do it again.

He got it.

He got it mid air.

Did you see it?

He got it mid air.

It feels good to do a good day's work.

We got some good stuff today.

Yeah.

Lot of fun.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Can't wait for you guys to see what we got coming up next.

I'm ripping this thing off.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Hey, what time is your guy expecting you tomorrow?

Oh, I can get there whenever.

Honestly I'd rather stay here and shoot this with you.

Yeah, glad you're having fun.

Oh, this is amazing.

I got a couple of different ideas

that I can add to this show,

maybe even I can give co-hosting another shot.

Yeah, it's definitely something to think about.

What's there to think about?

We make a great team.

You know, the network gave me that deal.

I can't really change things on them last minute.

They would eat this kind of thing up.

Maybe when I'm a little bit more established.

The ocean is home to many of our friends,

tuna lobster, oysters.

You planning on following me with this thing all night?

I don't think we need the network, man.

You could just cut them out and take all the profit.

Well, who's gonna put me on the air?

You can keep it on YouTube.

So you want me to throw away the chance of my own TV show?

No, man.

I just think you can be smarter about your control.

They'll take away all your fucking freedom.

Andy, language.

All right, come on.

I wanna go to bed.

This is a historic moment, brother.

Somebody's got to capture behind the scenes.

Andy, that's enough.

Turn the camera off, please.

We have the wild Jeff closing in on his prey.

When I say stop, you gotta stop.

It's not a toy.

Okay.

I'm just playing around.

It's not play time, okay?

I'm trying to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

I don't need this bullshit at the end of the day.

So you wanna schedule a time for bullshit or?

Okay, how do you like it? Huh?

How do you like it?

It's not that funny, is it?

Why are you so angry?

I'm not.

I just have a lot in my mind.

And you're throwing me all sorts of curve balls, okay?

Look, I'm just tired and stressed.

I don't mean to snap.

I'm only here to help.

I know you are Andy.

You know why don't we get her powered down.

We'll get the batteries charged.

We both had a really long day.

Let's go, Andy.

I wanna get there by noon.

Andy, get me coming out the front door one more time,

then we'll cut right into the bagels. all right?

Okay.

You good?

Yeah.

Breakfast and Java, my parting gift to you.

Fuck, goddamn it.

Oh man, we gotta get this thing detailed.

Cut this. Cut.

Cut.

We're good?

Andy turn the light on.

Okay, after a little morning mayhem.

We're about to dive into these...

Let's get off this main road.

You got that?

You want me to keep rolling?

Yeah, keep this going.

We get everything that we need and then we're done.

Bigfoot's backyard.

All right guys.

Let's crack these open.

Oh Andy.

Andy.

It's a baby boy.

It's a baby boy, Andy.

I mean, look at this, Andy.

Look at that, okay.

Bacon, egg, cheddar, jalapeno on a toasted bagel.

I mean, look at this.

This is like a 1950s, Norman Rockwell piece of art.

Smell that.

Do you smell that Andy?

My future hangovers are getting cured as we speak.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

I mean, this sandwich is money.

This is like a perfect ten,

but the bacon is just a little bit chewy.

It's almost kind of like an Irish bacon.

Are you getting that texture, Andy?

I guess.

How are you gonna pester to be my co-host

if you can't break down a breakfast sandwich?

Well, you know,

if I'm gonna be critical,

I should take some accountability too.

We are in South Jersey.

Should've gotten Pork Roll.

That's the head honcho down here.

And, uh, guys,

you know, I never understood

this whole Pork Roll/ Taylor Ham debate.

John Taylor invented Pork Roll.

It's called Pork Roll,

people calling a Taylor Ham

are just reading the packaging wrong.

Let me see this.

Now, Andy,

you are a man of culture and class.

Do you stand on the right side of history?

What do you call it?

I don't wanna be a part of this thing, man.

Well, the second you begged me for this ride down,

you forfeited your right to privacy.

Now Pork Roll or Taylor Ham?

I didn't beg you for anything.

What the fuck.

That's the second time you've been rough with this camera.

I know what you're doing, man.

You're trying to embarrass me for your show.

You have to treat me with more respect.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you taking advantage of me.

That's not what I'm doing.

Yes you are.

I'm only here to help you get what you want.

Be a good boy, shoot this, say that,

then you just drop me off.

You forget all about me.

Where is this coming from?

I see right through you, man.

Andy.

Andy.

Andy,

Andy,

Andy, what are you doing?

Come on,

Andy.

Andy, come on.

Andy, this isn't funny, let's go.

Andy, why are you doing this?

Andy.

Andy?

Andy?

Andy, it's not funny.

Okay, I'm leaving Andy.

Oh.

What are you doing?

Why did you treat me like that?

Like what Andy?

That's a persona for my show.

Jeff.

What?

I need you to treat me with more respect.

If you want my help, I need to be an equal.

Are you kidding me?

We're either partners in this

or you can drop me off right now.

What's the address of the job, Andy?

How can you be mad at me

for sticking up for myself?

'cause I've spent half of the day

playing hide and go fucking seek.

Now what's the address?

Wait, wait, wait, Jeff.

Let's go, Andy.

I don't know what the hell is going on.

But this guy has been in a screaming match for the last...

Andy.

What?

Andy, what's going on, man?

I'm fucking screwed, man.

I'm so fucking screwed.

That fucking rat had a change of heart last minute.

He's gonna sell the car for parts.

I told him I'm here.

I cross state lines to get here,

but he doesn't care.

He's not gonna pay.

I'm fucked dude.

I'm fucked.

What do you need?

What do you need from me?

He was gonna be my ride home, dude.

I got no job. I got no prospects.

I'll figure it out.

Do you need money for a bus ticket?

I don't need money.

I need to catch a break, for fucking once.

Why don't you take me to a gas station.

I'll figure it out from there.

I can't believe these forum guys, man.

These assholes always leave you in the lurch.

This has happened before?

All the time.

All the time.

These guys talk a big game online

and then they get scared to pay the money.

This was a big job, man.

It was gonna save my ass.

Sounds like a heavy blow.

I'm in so much debt, I can hardly breathe.

They wanna take away my house,

take away my car.

Let me throw you some bucks then.

No man.

I don't wanna be in your way anymore.

Andy.

You're my brother. All right.

You can come with me the rest of the day

and then we'll figure this one out.

I thought you were done with me?

You got to understand

how important this is to me, all right?

I have a week and a have to get this done.

I can't be playing games.

I understand.

Dude. Thank you.

You guys see this guy right here,

this guy is an absolute star.

Don't get mushy.

Listen, you know, I could really use your help.

There's a great little barbecue spot

we can hit before it's not too late.

Jeff man, I'm all yours.

That's family.

What's our mic gain at?

I don't know.

We got a lot of background noise out here.

Look at this guy.

Burt Reynolds, barbecue connoisseur.

I'm a little skeptical,

but I have high hopes.

I mean, look at all the people in line.

It's an hour and a half wait out here.

Take the mask down, get a whiff.

It's good for you.

You can already smell it.

It's good for you.

No.

Let's un box this,

oh wow.

A lot of packaging for not a lot of promise here.

We got two things of cole slaw.

What I'm smelling right now

is what Mark Anthony smelled

when he walked into ancient Egypt

and met Cleopatra.

Oh Andy, it's a homemade sauce.

Shrimp and beans.

The cornerstone of every delicious meal, guys.

Let's see what we have right now guys.

Oh yeah.

Rack of ribs.

We got to cut this.

We got to cut this.

You know why, we got to start eating,

'cause the food's gonna get cold, Andy.

Andy, are you starting without me? Come on.

What do we got first?

What'd you dig into first, shrimp?

You got shrimp, we got beans.

Let's give it a shot, we got wings over here.

Brother, chicken wings.

You're ready?

Bada bing, bada boom.

I thought it'd be hotter.

Spicy or temperature?

Spicy.

When I was at a Bengali, Deli.

Where was that?

You know, Bangladesh?

It was at a Bengali,

Like it was a deli.

Oh, in Bangladesh?

A Bengali guy-

A Bengali man owned this deli

and he gave me this little jar

he said, "take one of these."

I said, "all right."

I dig in. It's a ghost chili pepper.

I vomited blood for two days straight.

I'm not even joking.

It's funny, but it's not funny.

Wow.

Wow.

I'm gonna need a napkin.

Look at this man.

Oh my gosh.

Oh yeah.

Oh, hands down, hands down.

Better than everything else.

The way my wife should be sweet and smokey.

I don't go to restaurants at all.

I remember when I was a kid,

there was a restaurant that was in a train car.

We'll have to get some water on that.

Are you from YouTube?

Yeah.

Yeah, we are.

Going for the Food Network right now actually.

Food Network?

Yeah. It's true.

"Jeff Blake Food Shows"

Check it out, seriously.

Jeff Blake.

Jeff Blake?

Jeff Blake.

Andy, you should be like my publicist.

You shouldn't even be my...

I'm your partner.

Partner and publicist.

Oh, look at that.

What?

Yeah. Pork and beans, baby.

The beans are amazing.

They we're good.

Yeah.

Did you taste the vinegar?

No, dessert cole slaw.

He said it better than I did,

Dessert cole slaw.

Did you eat it already?

Oh no, don't spit it back out.

That's disgusting.

We're not putting that back.

Andy, we don't do that.

Come on.

Okay guys.

Ready?

I can't even look at you

I'm so upset.

I got it.

So upset, I can't even look at you.

It's violently upsetting me.

Let's give a shot.

That's cole slaw.

That's definitely cole slaw, right?

All right. I'm done.

All right. We're good.

Pack us up.

Let's throw this stuff out.

Let's get to the hotel.

I'm full. I'm happy.

I've never seen you so happy Andy,

in these last two days,

I've never seen you so happy.

I've never eaten so well in my life.

I think I've gained 35 pounds today.

I think this stuff is better than above average sex.

It's better than great sex.

Oh you got to meet some new women.

I don't know, I'm swimming in it.

Really?

Nope.

You know, I think you're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

That's doubtful.

You never told me how he died.

Dad?

It was a car accident.

Cop on the scene told me he fell asleep behind the wheel.

Do you hate him?

No.

Not anymore.

You know had he known you,

I think he would have liked you.

Was he a Republican?

Yeah, most people with money are.

Then I don't think he would have liked me.

Why do you say that?

Because I'm unemployed and broke.

Don't leave me Jeff.

Andy, where are my things?

Jeff, I have something really important I gotta tell you.

Okay.

Can you please take a seat?

No I'm ass naked and soaking wet what's going on?

Please, it's important.

I'm not sitting.

Okay.

These past couple of days have been really special.

You would agree?

Get to the point.

It's not easy for me to say.

Andy I'm really tired

and it's been a long day, so what is going on?

Jeff, all your stuff is locked in the car,

you'll get it back

if you promise me you won't leave me.

What the fuck is going on?

Just promise me you won't leave.

Okay. I promise.

And you can't get mad.

Andy!

Okay, okay. I lied to you.

What?

The forum job, it's not real.

I heard you talking on the phone.

I faked it.

I didn't want the day to end.

So, when you said you were going to Baltimore,

I thought that would be a great way

to spend more time together.

When you called me up later,

I didn't know how to tell you that I made it all up.

I felt trapped.

Andy gave me my keys.

Okay, but you promised me he wouldn't leave.

Andy give me the keys.

And you can't get mad.

Andy give me the fucking keys.

Jeff.

Andy, give me the fucking...

You're gonna thank me for this.

You did it.

I said, give me the fucking keys Andy.

Please, stop.

Don't take the fucking keys from me.

Give me my stuff.

Where's my stuff.

Give me the keys.

You crossed the line, Jeff.

What a fucking clown.

Get off the car Andy.

Get off the car.

Get off the car, Andy.

Fucking idiot.

Every angle, every story line is here.

You're live at the radio station.

And the home of the Baltimore Ravens.

Expect more.

From WBAL News Radio 1090.

FM 101.5

And the WBAL radio app.

Yeah.

Hey guys.

Jeff Blake here

and I'm coming to you all with a pretty heavy heart.

You know,

after all the stuff you guys have seen these last two weeks,

I'm gonna have to sign off my channel for good.

Yeah.

Heard that right.

It's a final goodbye.

So I guess I wanna take this time to just thank you guys.

My fans and my subscribers,

you guys are really the driving force

that made this channel possible.

And I don't know when,

if ever I'm gonna be allowed back on YouTube,

after all the stuff you guys have seen.

There's a pretty big legal obligation

that I just can't break.

But if you guys wanna try to keep in touch,

I guess there's really only one option for us.

Going to just have to get away from your computer.

Walk over to the couch,

pick up the remote

and tune into me on the Food Network

because I have just been offered my show

fully produced for the first season.

That's right. They loved it.

Okay, they thought I had the most unique voice on Food

since Paula Dean invented the Krispy Kreme burger

and the most baffling thing is

that they want Andy too.

You know, they love this whole brother dynamic.

They thought it had a great through line.

And I've called the guy nonstop since I got the offer

and he's not picking up the phone.

So Andy,

Andy, if you're watching this, please pick up.

Okay. I know we left things in weird terms,

but you were right.

They want us together.

Hey guys, Jeff Blake again.

So yeah,

I'm making myself a little late night steak

and a couple of updates on what's going on.

So, I have called Andy night and day since I got the offer,

and he's not picking up the phone, which sucks.

But the weirdest thing is that today I come home,

let me show you guys what I get in the mail, all right?

I mean, what is this?

I mean, it's disturbing, you know

I don't get why the guy won't just talk to me, okay?

Yeah. I hit him,

but he lied to me and left me naked.

I mean, what was I supposed to do?

Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Andy Baker,

if this is about shop work,

please leave a message

and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Bye.

Andy it's Jeff again.

Pick up the phone.

All right. What are you doing?

You wanted the show too

and now we got a chance to work together.

Okay, I don't know what this picture is,

but you and I need to sit down and talk this out, all right?

Just call me back, please.

Hello, Andy.

Andy, we got the show,

Andy, they loved us.

They loved you.

Hello, Andy?

Andy the network's not gonna make the show

if it's not the both of us together, all right?

We got to talk this out.

Come on, Andy.

Talk to me.

Andy, why are you doing this?

Andy?

Andy talk to...

Fuck!

This got sent to me 20 minutes ago.

He's been following me the last two weeks.

Andy are you out here?

Face me like a fucking man.

I mean, this is...

"Andy are you out here, face me like a fucking man."

Son of a bitch.

Wait, I'm here to talk, dude.

I'm here to talk.

Wait, wait, wait.

Check this out.

Look, I've got this from your dad, man.

I met him.

What the fuck did you just say?

I met your dad before he died. I met him.

He gave me that.

Where did you get this?

I told you-

Speak up.

I told you, I got it from your dad.

I met him a few times.

I met up with him.

He was trying to find a way to tell you about me.

I'm sorry.

Okay. I'm sorry, Man.

I was angry with you,

you left me at a hotel in another state, okay?

And when you hit me, it hurt.

I've called you the last two weeks to talk to you

and all you've done, you sent me the stalker shit.

I know.

I was trying to find a way to stick up for myself,

but I'm here.

I'm waving the flag, man.

I know I fucked up.

I fucked up too, but I'm here for the show.

I'm here for you. I don't wanna let you down.

Stand up.

Stand up.

Are you gonna help me?

Okay. Yeah.

I need a drink.

I can see that.

Are you a whiskey man?

No thank you, I'm driving.

Make yourself at home.

Thanks.

I need to know how you got this watch.

Bruce tracked me down three years ago.

I wanted nothing to do with him,

30 years without him.

What the hell does he want from me now?

First, it was really easy to ignore his phone calls,

but then he showed up at my shop

and basically forced me into a lunch.

He told me that my mother kept me a secret from him.

He said that she wanted nothing to do with him

after she found out he had another family.

He said he had no idea I existed until after she died.

Why did you keep all this from me?

Because that's a lot to throw on someone's lap.

I wanted to get to know you a little bit better first.

Jesus.

I know.

I need that drink.

Maybe I will join you.

Aren't you driving?

I don't think one's gonna kill me.

Single or double?

I think we're in triple territory.

Jeff, this is a beautiful place you got here, man.

Yeah. I got a bunch of dad's old stuff

after he died.

Was he into antiques?

Yeah, he was a part-time dealer.

No way.

Are you into them?

No.

Ah, Fuck, goddamn it.

It's okay.

Get the fuck...

Breathe Jeffery.

Breathe, Jeff.

You're okay, Jeff.

You're okay, Jeff.

You're all right.

Okay, Jeff.

Okay.

Okay, Jeff wake up.

Come on buddy.

Come on, guy.

Wakey, wakey, eggs and bac-ey.

Oh fuck, did I kill you Jeff?

You scared me, buddy.

Come on, wake up.

Wake up buddy.

Come on, wake up.

There he is.

Oh fuck, dude.

Look what you made me do, man.

I wanted to be family, but you were not a very good brother.

Get me out of the chair.

Andy, what the fuck are you doing?

I'm trying to film our show Jeff.

Andy.

Wait Andy, stop.

Put the gun down.

Andy.

I got a little game first.

What are you doing?

Open up.

Stop Andy.

Does that taste like Taylor Ham?

I'm fucking with you Jeff, stop being so rigid.

Jeff, no wonder you're hated my pasta.

You have this gourmet stuff.

Oh my God, you smell that?

Stop.

It's like tomato perfume.

What do you rate this, Jeff?

Oh fuck you, Andy.

Fuck you.

Jeff, this isn't all your fault, man.

Your father trained you to be like this.

Violent, selfish,

self-serving.

You know, my mother left him because he abused her.

You're fucking stupid Jeff.

I found him.

I hunted him down.

He came looking for you.

You ate that shit up, Jeff.

Oh, sure.

He was a fucking saint with no idea about his long lost son.

He beat my mother and then he abandoned me

and then I gave him exactly what he deserved.

He died in a car crash.

An injection a Propofol

would make anybody fall asleep behind the wheel.

I'll kill you.

I'll fucking kill you.

Jeff, we got to finish the show man.

I'll kill you.

I'll kill you.

Get out of here, Andy.

Fuck.

Fuck this.

Siri, call 911.

911 What's your emergency?

My brother tried to kill me,

he drugged me and he held a gun to my head.

Are you in immediate danger?

No, I'm in my car.

What is your name?

Jeff Blake.

What is your brother's name?

Andy Baker.

What is your address?

I'm on 1300 River Avenue, Toms River, New Jersey.

What is your current location?

I'm on Route 37 somewhere.

I'm going right down the parkway.

We are currently dispatching several units

to your house and your current location.

I'm gonna ask you to stay put, is that okay?

Yeah that's fine.

Sir, can you describe what happened?

He drugged me and held a gun to my head.

Do you have any other information?

He went crazy, he's a son of a bitch.

New Jersey. 101.5

We're in for the rest of the afternoon into the evening.

Thunderstorm and we're down dropping into the 40s.

Run to Rita's or a scrumptious new chocolate,

peanut butter ice; two great tastes, one awesome ice.

Enjoy a new chocolate peanut butter ice at Rita's.

Family, right?

3-0-1-1 to Dispatch,

I've arrived on scene.

3-0-1-1 Copy.

Is that a fucking camera?

♪ You can pick a patch of pickled peppers ♪

♪ You can pick your nose

♪ You can pick the decorations

♪ That displayed around your home ♪

♪ You can pick your car or an apple off the tree ♪

♪ But you can't pick your family

♪ At the family dinner table

♪ With all arguments and strife

♪ Everything that made you, who you are ♪

♪ Gets brought out in the light

♪ From your spoiled little cousins ♪

♪ To your racist Grandpa Lee

♪ It's everything that makes up your fucked up family ♪

♪ You're bound by blood

♪ And they won't let you forget

♪ All the things that you've done ♪

♪ And all the things that you regret ♪

♪ We've all made some mistakes though ♪

♪ So just smile when pass potatoes ♪

♪ And enjoy the first people that you met ♪

♪ You can pick your preference

♪ Taylor Ham or Pork Roll

♪ Your favorite barbecue sauce

♪ to hold them or to fold

♪ You can choose to gamble to play it out safely ♪

♪ But you can pick your family

♪ No, you can't pick your family

♪ No, no, no

♪ You can't pick your family

♪ No, no, no

♪ You can't pick your family

Merry Christmas y'all.