Original subtitles

-♪ Hurry up, it's the final call ♪

♪ It's no opportunity at all ♪

♪ Just a functional decree ♪

♪ That will get our life from A to ♪

♪ Being alone while not living alone ♪

♪ Living alone but not being alone ♪

♪ Coping not living and living to cope ♪

♪ Hoping not living and living to hope ♪

-All aboard! All aboard!

If you're not on, we're gone. All aboard.

-♪ There's a heartbeat of the mind ♪

♪ It's about friendship and being kind ♪

♪ As we make our way through time ♪

♪ These are threads that hide beneath in ♪

♪ Layer upon layer upon layer upon layer upon layer ♪

♪ Time dissolves ♪

♪ Layer upon layer upon layer upon layer upon layer ♪

♪ Time dissolves ♪

♪ Being alone while not living alone ♪

♪ Living alone while not being alone ♪

♪ Coping not living and living to cope ♪

♪ Hoping not living and living to hope ♪

♪ Layer upon layer upon layer upon layer upon layer ♪

♪ Time dissolves ♪

♪ Layer upon layer upon layer upon layer upon layer ♪

♪ Time dissolves my mind ♪

-You've been traveling with City Ferries.

Thank you.

-It's my husband, Joe. He's missing.

-Missing? Since when?

-Um, no, I-I don't mean "missing" missing.

I just mean...

-Where are you?

-Nothing makes sense.

-Okay.

-We're just drifting. We're unmoored.

-Excuse me. Are you in trouble, caller?

-Yes, um...

Yeah, and I could really do with some help here.

-I'm listening. -Sarah?

- H-Hello?

-Hey, beautiful, what are you doing?

-Go to bed, Joe.

-What's wrong? -Nothing.

Nothing. I was -- I was just...

-What?

Easy, tiger.

Hey.

It's late.

-Is it? -Yeah.

-Yeah.

Okay.

What are you doing?

-Oh, it's late, isn't it? -Yeah.

-Yeah, we should -- we should probably go to bed.

-Come to bed.

Come to bed!

-Good morning.

-Good morning to you.

-You smell nice.

-It's me.

-Yeah, I know.

I know.

-Shh.

Listen, listen, listen.

Gwen.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Gwen. Please.

Listen.

-What happened?

-It's me. It's Toni.

I'm your partner and always have been.

I love you.

-You're different.

You've changed.

-I know.

Please, Gwen, you know me.

Everything you know -- -No!

-Everything you know has changed.

-What are you doing?

-Time has passed.

I'm still here. This is our house.

Isn't it?

It's our house.

Go and see.

-♪ The ones the crooks took when life collapsed ♪

There she is.

-Hey, babe, do you need me, or...

-Baby, baby, baby, baby.

What do you want? -Get me my robe, please.

-♪ Never bothered with any of that ♪

-Oh.

-♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ ...of years gone by ♪

-You're looking very tired.

-That's because I am.

-Hope you're not ill.

-No, it's just, mm, alcohol poisoning from my work do.

-Why wasn't I invited?

-Oh, I'm sorry. Are you an archeologist?

-No.

-Could you hold your own in a conversation

about the Klasies River mouth in Southern Africa

from thousands of years ago and what they discovered there?

-No.

-Well, if you can't make small talk

about the funeral rites of our predecessors over canapés,

then you're not invited.

Sorry!

-You look very tired.

-You said.

-You feeling okay?

-It's nothing an early night won't cure.

-What's for lunch?

-Babe, you just had bacon and eggs,

and you're putting on a little bit of weight.

-♪ Some with needs and some with want ♪

-Fatty!

Fatty fatty bum bum!

- ♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

-You still love music.

-I would hope so. It's my job.

-I no longer design houses.

-Oh? -Yes.

It was just easier to stop.

I held on as long as I could after the accident.

-The accident?

-Yes.

Um, I had a few clients.

But then, um...

Then I stopped.

Careful.

-Okay.

How long have we been doing this?

-Nearly 15 years.

-Why?

-You're late.

-Who are the kiddy-winks?

-Really?

Community interaction.

Part of our new funding drive. We need money.

-I need my time.

-Oh, come on!

I promised them they could meet a genius.

But I guess you'll do.

-Hilarious.

-And annoying. -Mm-hmm.

-Come on. Chop, chop, chop, chop.

Have fun!

-Morning, Moses. -Morning, Dr. Falmer.

-Morning. -Morning.

-Hope you have a good one.

-You're gonna help me herd the ducklings.

Come on.

Put your brain through a windscreen at 40 miles an hour

or drop it 15 feet down a ladder

and life becomes a lottery.

You may remember things, or you may not.

That theme tune from a kid's TV show.

The taste and sensations of your first kiss.

The insult that your sister gave you and then forgot

but which has plagued you some mornings at 2:30 a.m.

and has done ever since you were 20.

-Oh, she's so young. -No way.

-It is remarkable what that kilo-and-a-half blob

at the top of your neck files away.

-How many grandchildren are we gonna have?

-Grandchildren? -Yeah.

-Babe, we haven't even spoken about children yet.

-Well, simple enough question,

how many grandchildren are we gonna have?

What, three? A dozen? A measly one?

-I don't know. -Tell me.

-Um, I can't answer that!

-Well, try.

-Seven!

Three boys and four girls.

And one of them, unfortunately, is redheaded,

so we keep them in the basement.

-There's no need to take the piss.

Hey.

You feeling okay?

-I'm fine!

-I swear I can actually see you aging.

-Let's go to brunch.

-You're getting old before your time.

-I'm getting ready.

-You feeling okay?

-Well, let's go to that trendy café,

the one with the coffees and the tattoos, you know?

-What's wrong, tell me. -Yeah?

-What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?

-No, I'm fine Joe!

-What's wrong? -I'm not ill!

I'm just getting older!

Okay? -You are looking older.

-'Cause I am older!

-How?!

-Following a traumatic brain injury,

suddenly, you might not recognize your own mother

or recall who was in the room with you two minutes ago.

You might suddenly decide that the word for "table"

is "antelope."

You might not talk at all.

You might never come 'round from that coma.

Or you might come 'round aggressive and abusive,

speaking only in Latin or humming the theme tune

to that kid's TV show over and over again.

In some rare cases you may even have been improved.

-Alright, guys, come on, straight through.

-One thing is for sure.

Your old self, the premorbid self, will have gone,

and the new you will have come into being.

Same person but with new frontal lobes

and therefore, potentially, a brand-new personality to match.

-Um, it's two minutes past, Doctor.

-Was I good?

-Bit indulgent.

-Welcome to the Open Field TBI Hospital.

You have met Jenny.

If I don't have the answers you need, she does.

Any questions?

Excellent! Bye!

Clinic.

Oh, my God.

-Oi! What you doing?

Who said you could give my child a doughnut?

-It's fine. I got loads. It's okay.

-Don't be eating food from strangers!

-Hey! -What's wrong with you?

-That was a nice one! I just --

I'm sorry. I don't mind -- I don't mind sharing.

I'm fine. You can have -- Come take another one, pal.

-No! Don't go around giving people food!

-Please, please. It's okay.

-Why are you standing there like that?

Are you on drugs or what?

-It's okay, okay? Alright, you don't understand.

-He shouldn't be allowed out! And I understand alright!

Taking the piss, talking to kids!

-No! No! It's not like that. He loves kids.

-Oh, I bet he does!

-Oi. You can't do that!

Don't -- Don't do that! -Oh, no?

-No, that's invasion of privacy. You have no right!

-I have every right to protect my child, yeah?

-You can delete that, delete it! -No, no, no, no, no, no.

Stop it, stop it, stop it. -I've got both of you now!

-What are you looking at? -Come on. No, no.

-In fact...

-Wait, so you're filming now, are you?

-Yeah, I need proof! -Proof of what?!

We're people! We're just peop--

-Let go, you bitch!

-Okay, come on. Come on. Let's move. Let's move.

-Leave her alone, alright? -You fuck off!

-Witnesses, look at this crazy woman

attacking me in front of my child!

-You crazy bitch!

-What gives you the right to judge?

-Shut up!

-Sarah, come on, come on, come on.

Sarah. -Fuck off!

-Hey! Hey. Hey.

Come on. That was fucking brilliant!

-Babe, you cannot go around with your grinning

and saying weird jokes and talking to random people.

Okay, you can't do that.

-Oh, don't smile, don't laugh. -No, don't do it.

-What, people will think something's wrong with you.

-Well, there is, okay?

There is something wrong with you.

You're...disinhibited.

-Good. Let's go to bed, then.

You got doughnuts.

Nice.

-30 years ago, 90% of all patients

with traumatic brain injury didn't survive,

and now 90% do.

What with tumors, road accidents, and strokes,

we are fast approaching epidemic levels.

Hospitals can't cope. Our system is overloaded.

And who is left to deal with that?

Family at home.

You.

-So there's nothing you can do to help?

-Did I say that?

-Well, the system's overloaded, epidemic levels,

hospitals can't cope.

-But the brain is adaptable.

-So he'll get better?

-The tumor that Joe has sustained

means he'll never get better.

-But he'll improve?

-Further use of memory aids could certainly help facilitate

more independent living, yeah.

-Well, he has to improve.

He's really struggling.

We're strug-- ah...

I'm struggling.

People are cruel.

-You can't see a broken brain.

-This silent epidemic isn't going anywhere.

About Joe...

There is something we could try.

-And he'll get better?

-The brain is adaptable.

I'm still here.

It's me, Toni.

Whatever lesson I was supposed to learn,

I have it now.

By heart.

-Dr. Falmer here.

Yes? How can I help?

-My partner, Gwen Williams...

she had a traumatic brain injury about 15 years ago

and now lives with --

-Retrograde amnesia?

Yes, Gwen. I remember.

So there's been a change?

-Yes.

Yes, there's...

there's a big change.

It's been so long.

She can't be near me anymore.

I'm -- I'm sorry.

It's just probably a bad day.

-Bring her in, Toni.

-No.

-Bring her in.

A few days' observation and we'll take it from there.

-Actually, um...

I'm sorry I bothered you.

Uh, I'm okay.

-Around 5:00 p.m.?

Pack a bag and we'll make up a room.

It's time, Toni.

-Sit down?

Hello. -Hi.

-We have a 5:00 appointment for Gwen.

-5:00?

Well, I can't see anything here.

-How're you doing?

-Um...

Um, well, I don't know.

We do have an appointment.

-You don't, because there's nothing written down.

-Can you check again?

-I've just checked and there's nothing here, so...

-Look, we do have an appointment.

It's just not bloody written down!

- Well, I can't bloody help you, then, can I?

-Excuse me?

Look, I didn't choose to come here.

We were told to come in!

-Well, you don't have an appointment!

-We do! -It's okay!

Jenny, it's okay.

Hi, Toni. -Hello.

-Please, take a seat.

Gwen.

Would you like to come with me?

-Yeah.

-I'll take this.

-It's been a while.

-Yeah.

-You can help yourself to a magazine.

-There was a car accident,

and you sustained a very severe head injury.

-So how long was I out?

-Out?

-In the coma. How long was I in the coma for?

-It wasn't a coma.

-Asleep, then. How long have I been asleep?

-This, um...

This may be difficult for you to understand,

but you've been conscious all the time.

-I don't think I can do this.

-You can.

You always do.

-Yeah, just give me a minute.

My mother?

-I'm sorry.

-Was it a long time ago?

-Four years.

-Four years?

Did I go to the funeral?

-You were too upset.

-I don't remember anything!

Was it a good turnout?

-Yeah.

The, um, hall was full.

Oh, she would have loved that!

She loved people around her.

-Every morning, she has to go through a version of this.

And it's my job to calm her and...

and explain.

I could go.

It's harder since her mum died.

-Of course.

-She doesn't trust me.

Is she getting worse?

Or am I weaker?

-Go home.

Things will look better in the morning.

Don't you have something stronger for the pain

than bloody clichés?

-I think it's time to leave.

-You didn't see me.

I wasn't even here.

-Hi, Joe. Good morning, love.

I hope you slept well.

This is gonna seem pretty strange,

but it's something new that we agreed to try,

because your doctor said that with repetition

some of what I say may register.

So, listen up, you hairy-assed clown.

Listen, okay?

Seriously, this is very, very important.

Um, I never know how to tell you this,

and it never gets any easier, even though

I've done it many, many times, not that you'd remember.

You're ill, Joe.

Um, your brain was injured.

That's why you're at home and not at work.

Um, you've -- you've got a form of amnesia

from when you were ill two years ago.

Look, I know this might come as a shock.

You're probably like, "What?"

Um, but just -- just try to listen.

I'm gonna explain everything, okay?

So just try to listen and try to understand.

Okay, I got you, babe. Ready?

Uh...

It all comes down to the almond and the seahorse.

The amygdala and the hippocampus --

they are components of the brain's memory circuitry

necessary for the laying down of new traces,

um, for the making of new memories.

They're called the almond and the seahorse because,

uh, they're shaped like that, I guess.

Um...

You've been rewired.

Okay, imagine the colored wires in a phone line,

and these wires are the axons

that run from the outer layer of the brain

to the cortex beneath, linking both layers

and making possible the connections

between the brain and the world,

the brain and the body, the brain and the self.

With brain injury, the internal wires are separated.

-She's lost the fucking plot. -Then if they reconnect,

it can be in haphazard or, like, unusual ways.

Red may find green.

The blue wire may find the yellow one.

It may never reconnect at all.

Basically, you've been rewired

but in a new, illogical way.

-Fuck.

"Take your medicine.

Box in your top left pocket.

Tuesday compartment."

"Take your medicine. Box in your top left pocket.

Tuesday compartment."

Sarah?

Sarah, are you home?

"Checklist."

"Take pill.

Check medicine box, square, yellow."

Square yellow.

Square yellow.

Check!

"Tuesday compartment.

If pill is there, then take it."

Huh?

"If empty, you've taken it.

Cross this out and go to point two."

Ha!

Hello?

-Hello. My name's Rina. -Rita!

-Actually, it's Rina, sir, from North West Power.

I'd like to save you money on your electricity.

-Oh, that's good.

No, not many people call me up to say

they've got cheaper electricity for sale.

-Wonderful! Do you have a pen and paper?

-Pen? Yeah, yeah, I have. I'll get a pen.

-I appreciate your time. -Yeah.

-Thank you. -Yeah, sure.

-Okay. -Yeah.

I'll, uh...

Sarah?

-Hello, sir?

Hello?

Are you there?

Hello? Hello?

-Hello? -Hi, sir.

It's Rina from North West Power.

We spoke? -No, I don't know a Rita.

-I said it's Rina. -No.

Who's this?

-Did you get your pen? -Why do I need a pen?

Why you ask me if I've got a pen?

I haven't got a fucking pen, alright?

-I don't have to listen to this.

-Charming!

Buzz buzz.

What the fuck?

Hello? -Hi.

-Sarah! -Hey, babe!

-I love you! -I love you, too!

Have you taken your meds, Joe? Have you taken the pill?

-Wait, see. What pill? -The pill.

The -- Uh, it's the yellow one, the yellow pill.

-I haven't taken a pill. What are you on about?

-In the little box? -Well, I haven't seen it.

-Yellow pill in your box.

-Oh, I see. -Yep.

-Yellow one? -Yeah, you got it?

-Yeah, I got it. -Okay, good.

Take it please. It's important. -Alright!

Okay, look, you can listen to me taking it.

-Yep. Right now?

-This is me, swallowing drugs.

-Okay, good.

-Mnh.

All gone!

Happy now?

-Hello?

Joe? -Was I good?

-Yeah, I just really need you

to follow the lists when I'm not there.

Do you understand?

-Oh, for Christ's sake, Sarah,

it's hardly fucking rocket science!

-Gwen!

-Gwen! Wait!

Oh, I c-- I can see her.

-Gwen! -Gwen, we can see you running!

- Gwen, wait! - Come!

Stay with her, Moses.

-I've got her.

-No, you haven't.

-Wait, Gwen!

Oh, bloody hell, wait! -You'll never catch me!

Ever! Ever! -Wait, Gwen!

Bloody hell, wait! -Ever!

-Lisa Good. You ready?

-Yeah.

-Toni!

I thought I told you to go and get some rest.

-I rested.

-Respite is for both of you.

-Yep!

-You know, I really think we need to respect people's wants.

-I'm not sure what you're saying.

-If someone doesn't want our presence, then we should...

-You don't want me to see her? -I didn't say that.

-My life is in that room.

-No, it's not!

With respect, it's not.

Your life is where you are.

-Do I cause her distress?

-I didn't say that.

-I-I cause her distress?

-Go home, Toni.

-What do you do when you've been obliterated?

-Is, um...

Is this for Gwen?

-Yeah, it gives her comfort.

-Does she still play?

-No, not for years.

-Shame.

Music can sometimes help the brain reanimate.

-Yeah.

You're welcome!

Uncle Joe!

No! You have to get him! Get him!

-I'll go and get the cake, alright?

-I don't know what all the bloody fuss is about.

-Your mum's a fucker, Cath!

-I know. -Fuck, she's a fucker!

-I know! -Fucking fucker!

-Definitely a fucker.

-Fucker!

Okay.

-Breathe.

And put those in a bowl, please.

-Hello. -Hello.

-What brings you here?

-It's my birthday.

-Well, happy birthday!

And what do they call you?

-Bethan the birthday girl!

-Well, hello, birthday girl. I'm Joe.

-Uncle Joe.

-Whoo! Waaah!

-Alright, let's...

Let's come back in, fairies!

Yah!

-Joe!

-Aah!

-I just never know what Joe I'm gonna get.

The Dalai Lama or a 5-year-old.

-Honestly.

-It doesn't bother you that he doesn't remember her?

-Oh, he remembers her.

Just the wrong age.

Keeps asking me, "Where's the baby?

Is she lying down?"

I'm like, I don't have the heart to say,

"She's there in front of you."

Have you thought any more about --

-No.

-You know, what you're going through

is a kind of bereavement.

-Only I still have the body walking and talking

and rolling around on top of me.

-Aah! Too much information!

-Sorry, Cath.

Not that he remembers.

-Well, that's a family trait.

I can't remember my last shag, either.

It's true.

You do need to talk to someone, though.

-Yeah, well, I have you.

-We're not doing friends anymore.

-I really can't stomach the little smiles

and the pitying eyes.

-Isn't there a group you could join or something?

-I'm not a joiner.

-Oh, no.

Sorry, forgot.

Yep, "I'm not a joiner."

So I guess that leaves me, then.

-Poor Cath!

I still love him, you know.

-Excuse me.

-Why, what you done, Nana?

- What?

-You heard.

-Hey, fuck you!

-Oh, hey.

-Whatever!

-♪ Waiting for my time, hiding in the shadows ♪

♪ Waiting for my time, hiding in the shadows ♪

♪ By chance you came along ♪

♪ Delivered me from misery ♪

♪ We could catch a ride to any new reality ♪

♪ Dance all your shadows to death ♪

♪ Dizzy them, dazzle them ♪

♪ Vanish them with light ♪

♪ Dance all your shadows to death ♪

♪ Dissonant futures ♪

♪ Osmosis and desire ♪

You changed!

Not me.

I'm still here.

-I can buy a brontosaurus for £3 million.

Or a triceratops for two and a half.

-I'm not a paleontologist.

Plus we would have nowhere to put it.

You already got me that bike.

Actually...

Where did you put your schedule?

-Do you think I'm stupid? -No.

-Then why do you keep talking to me in that voice?

-What? Sorry?

-I hate it when you speak to me in that voice.

Yeah, that patronizing, schoolteacher voice.

-Yeah, well, it wasn't intentional.

I'm sorry.

It's just where is the schedule?

'Cause you're supposed to have it with you at all times.

-There is that voice!

-I'm doing the best that I can here!

-I hate that voice. I hate it!

-Tough, it's the only voice that I have!

Ah! And here!

Your schedule!

Which you should have with you at all times!

-For fuck's sake.

Christ!

-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Joe, it's just you have to have it with you!

Okay?

It allows you to have some kind of life.

I don't want you having the panic attacks.

-Do you think we can dream our children

before they're conceived?

-What?

-I mean...

do they exist out there in the mass of energy

and molecular particles that is the universe,

and the dark that isn't really dark, just...

...just waiting.

Choose their parents, choose their families,

their soul families, their...

Soul family!

-Joe, I really wanna have a baby with you, Joe.

I really wanna have our baby.

And if you're in there, I just...

I'd love you to know that.

-What?

-I miss your old eyes, the eyes that were attached

to that original brain.

-Have you been drinking?

-I just miss you.

-I'm here! -You're not.

You're not the same.

-I am!

-No, you're not.

-I am here!

-No, you're not, Joe.

You're not here, because...

-Oh, for -- And to think!

I am here.

I am fucking here!

-Okay, you're not the same person.

You're not bitter and dark and twisted,

like how you used to be.

-Are you having some kind of nervous breakdown?

-Probably. Yeah.

-Well, that comes from digging around all those corpses.

My mother said it was morbid and always has been.

-Well...

you can tell her I'm basically an archivist now.

And you haven't worked in two years, so...

-Ah, for fuck's sake!

Something's happened!

-Yeah! You're right, Joe.

Something has happened, and you wrote it in your book.

So just read your list.

-What happened? -It's in the book!

-"Important information about your broken brain.

For Joe, by Joe.

One -- I am you, and we have been ill.

Two -- we grew a tumor the size of an orange

inside our skull, but it's okay.

It was benign.

Three -- they removed the tumor

and, with it, large sections of our memory" --

-Do you recognize the handwriting?

-Yeah.

-Whose it it?

-Well, um...

...looks like mine.

I, um...

I can't...

I can't do this, okay?

-You can.

-I can't, because it's, um...

I can't do this, 'cause it's, um...

I'm -- I'm really -- I'm really sorry. Um...

-No, it's okay. Sorry, no, it's alright, Joe.

-No, it's not. It's my fault. -It's alright.

-I did something wrong.

And I'm really sorry. -I'm here.

-I wanna to speak to Sarah.

No, no, I-I-I want, um --

I want the other Sarah, okay, yeah?

I want the real Sarah. -I'm here.

-I want the real Sarah.

-You have to find your zero.

-Sorry?

-It's alright.

-Oh.

-You have to show it who's boss.

-Have you played long?

-You tell me.

-Sorry, I didn't --

I should go.

-No.

Stay.

You first have to find your zero.

It's the moment after you've lifted the bow

and just right before it falls back to earth.

A breath, a pause, before you start to play.

Take my hand.

-My zero?

-Yeah.

There was once a woman walking along a shore.

It was twilight, and she could see another figure

walking towards her.

A young woman.

And, as they grew closer, she could see how she walked,

and it was familiar.

A way of moving so reminiscent of someone she knew.

Her younger self.

"Go back!" she cried.

"Go back!"

-Gwen.

-Yes, Toni?

-No, don't -- don't turn around. Just, um, listen.

-Why?

-I don't think we should do this anymore.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I changed.

I'm sorry you don't know me anymore.

-Yes.

-This is just a memory speaking to another memory.

-A goodbye.

-I'm sorry, Toni.

-No, don't be.

-Oh. Excuse me!

Here he is!

My guy!

Mr. Trouble is here! -Okay, see you later!

-Bye, babe!

-Sarah? -Yes.

-Dr. Falmer would appreciate a word.

-Next week, then.

Okay. Thanks.

-I can come back later.

-Let me call you back.

Sarah?

Sarah, please do...come in.

Have a seat.

Um, I would like to keep Joe

in the residential wing for a while.

-But he always comes home with me.

-Oh, it's not for very long.

I just want to run a few more tests

and keep him under observation.

-Is there a problem?

-Please, sit.

-Is there a problem?

-According to Joe's medical notes,

he has no memory or recollection of anything

over the past two years?

-Yeah, that's right, yeah.

-So I am concerned about a possible erosion

of his existing memories going back to before the tumor.

-Meaning?

-Joe's autobiographical memory

appears to be deteriorating.

-His memory is deteriorating.

-It seems so.

-So he's slipping further back?

-Well, I can't say for sure -- -Just deleting his memories.

Well, when will it stop?

-Impossible to say.

-So what, he just carries on rewinding, erasing our lives?

-I really can't say at the moment.

-What happens if he rewinds to before we ever met?

What happens then?

What happens then?

He -- He forgets who I am?

He doesn't recognize me?

-I am sorry.

-No!

-I am... -No.

-I'm sorry, Sarah.

You know, I thought there was still hope.

You told me that there was still hope.

-I didn't, actually.

-What about all those memory exercises

and the recordings and Joe's schedule?

-Th-They're all designed to support

and facilitate independent living.

-"The brain is adaptable," you said.

-No brain is the same, Sarah.

-You gave me hope, and you shouldn't have.

You shouldn't have given me any hope!

Do you have no idea what it's like to try to hang on

and survive like this?

-I do.

-Time passes so quickly.

-Excuse me?

-We shouldn't waste it crying.

Seize life.

Grasp it.

Don't waste it.

-It'll kill you, you know.

-Which is why I like to smoke alone and in silence.

You know, some things require full awareness

and concentration.

It's a talent, and some might say it's a discipline.

Total commitment to the slow process of self-annihilation.

-I've never been one for small talk, either.

It changes you.

-Do not be nice to me.

-I wouldn't dream of it.

-What is the point of having a phone

if it's always off the bloody hook?

-Those are the brains I can't mend.

-You know you can't smoke anymore in here, right?

-Good morning.

-Hi, okay.

Uh...

Okay, can you get me a towel?

-What?

-An oblong piece of absorbent material used to block water

from my naked skin, following ablutions?

Don't you need to pause and inhale, like us lesser mortals?

-Ah, no. Scary, isn't it?

I have excellent breath control.

I can actually go on for hours if I need to.

I can just pump out words

like, um, a Tommy Gun.

-A Tommy Gun. -Mm.

It's like an automatic weapon.

I just spray words into the air, like bullets, just...

Uh, look, okay, I'm clearly not used to doing this, um,

so I'm just gonna have a shower and I will be out of your life.

-So I guess giving comfort is a crime.

-Oh, I've never heard it called that before.

-But that's what we did.

We comforted each other.

-Uh...

Yeah, uh, okay, yep, that's what I was, comfort.

-No, you were much, much more than that.

-I don't want this.

-Why are you being like that?

-Because last night I was just trying to get away.

It was just -- Last night was just about me

because I'm sleeping with strangers,

and I include my husband, Joe, in that list,

and you have no idea.

-You fucking try me!

-Okay.

Sometimes, when he looks at me, what makes him "him" is --

-Missing?

-Yes.

-The last time I saw Gwen was 15 years ago, in our car.

She was pregnant.

The IVF had finally worked.

And, um, she was trying

to buckle her seat belt over her bump,

and that's the second before a car cannoned into us,

sending her through the windscreen.

What happens when there are no babies to tell the stories to?

-Toni!

Toni!

Where's Toni?

-Please. Allow us to explain, just...

-I don't know you.

-My name is Alex Moses. I'm a nurse.

-Where am I? -Gwen, allow me to explain.

-No, I need to speak to Toni.

-I'll tell you where you are. -I cannot --

What happened?

-It's okay.

-Oh, my God.

No.

-Gwen.

- Where --

No.

Where is my baby?!

-It's okay. -What did you do to me?

Where is my baby?!

-Gwen, hello.

I'm Dr. Falmer, and I'm here to help.

-Where is Toni? I need to speak to --

-It's alright.

-Oh, please!

-It's okay, Gwen.

-It's not okay!

I can't speak!

I need to speak to Toni!

-Okay.

Is that clear, Gwen?

-Yeah.

I know something now which I...

which I won't at other times.

I know I'm older than I thought I was.

Time's passing.

Life's moving on.

But tomorrow morning, I'll be a young girl.

-And you'll have to go through this all over again?

-Yes, I will.

Yes, we will.

-Thank you.

Well, you take your time, and I'll get Moses

to see you to your room.

-A whole skeleton?

Wow!

How long did it take you to complete?

-Mm, weeks, maybe months.

I just got lost in their story, reuniting the bones.

-Connecting the dots?

Seems like you needed it.

- Yeah, like...

-Gwen and I loved coming here.

-What?

-Too soon?

-Oh, you fucker!

Oh, you had me there!

You!

-I'll drink to that!

What do you do when you're grieving

and no one's actually died?

-It's not even 6:30, Sarah.

-You're not him.

-I do know that.

-You're not him.

-I know.

-It's just, we're not very good at this, are we?

Well, I've tried.

-What do we have to do to make it work?

-Forget.

-I want a future.

-Can you just be content with the present?

-But we're not present!

We're not even here, Sarah!

I've missed so much!

So much time! God!

-Toni! -Taken away from me!

-Toni, I'm sorry.

Toni?

But what happened to the woman

who comforted me, who understood?

-She grew old and disappeared.

-I'll just let her know you're here.

Hi, Gwen.

Toni's here to see you, okay?

Go through.

-Taste better when you hold them.

-Less fattening, too.

They arrived a few years ago.

-An invasion.

Do we like them?

They're perfect.

-♪ There are times when we are taken ♪

♪ There are times the pieces break ♪

♪ You can glue them back together ♪

♪ But you'll feel a little ache ♪

♪ So liberate me from the love song ♪

♪ Liberate me from the love song ♪

♪ Liberate me from the love song ♪

♪ To survive another day ♪

-"'I am a dinosaur,' said Bunny, stamping down a paw.

'You should see my mighty shadow.

You should hear my mighty roar.'"

-"Tiger raised an eyebrow and scratched his spiny..."

-They'll be there for hours.

-"'Hello, Bunny,' said Tiger.

'I really have to say, what do you think you're doing,

standing in my way?'"

-"Said Bunny to tiger... -Cath?

-Sarah.

-I've -- I've done something.

-Hey.

-Uh, I really messed up.

-So?

-There was this woman.

-Woman?

-Yeah.

-That's one ticked off the bucket list.

Didn't see that one coming.

-Look, Cath. I didn't mean to --

-Do I looks like a priest? -Sorry?

-Does this look like a confessional box?

-I'm tell-- I'm telling you I've done something!

-Well, you're not made of wood.

I don't need to know. It's none of my business.

-I want Joe back.

-Oh, we all want Joe back.

-I want Joe!

-You've got Joe!

-Hi.

-Hello.

-I'm outside. Outside in the garden.

Yes, familiar, familiar, this is.

Familiar.

I'm outside, in a garden, by a tree.

Okay, I'm in a --

in a garden.

Familiar, by... big fucking tree.

And hands are empty.

Ohh.

In a garden, by a big fucking tree.

Hands cold.

Big fucking tree!

-Are you alright?

-Hello.

-Hello.

-I'm Joe.

-I'm Gwen.

-Hi, Gwen. -Hi.

-I love your garden.

-It's not mine.

-No? -Mnh.

-Do you know whose it is?

-Not really, no.

- Then we are in the same boat.

Yeah, I hate it when you go to these parties

and no one knows who the host is and...

-Hm.

Maybe you're lost.

We are in the grounds of a health center.

-Was I in an accident?

-You look fine to me.

-Why am I here?

-Visiting someone.

-Ha!

That's it! That is it!

Yeah!

Let's see.

Very good.

-Should I know you?

-Probably.

You never can tell, can you?

-No.

How long have you had your book?

-Oh. Uh...

Um...

Years.

Years and years.

I like the garden.

-Yeah.

-Hello.

-You're very familiar.

-S-Sometimes, I'm a little too familiar.

And if that's the case, just...

-You remind me of someone.

-I'm Joe.

-I know.

-Hello. -Hello, Joe.

I'm Gwen.

-Hi.

-So what do I do now?

-We could go have a cup of tea.

-I'd like that. -Yes.

Come.

-Um, my friend and I would like some tea, please.

-Of course.

Take a seat. I'll bring it over.

-Thank you.

-Hi, Joe.

-Hi.

-I believe you're going to play the cello for us later.

-Yeah. Yeah, I am.

-Well, I'm looking forward to that.

-Good.

- Bravo!

-Yes! Cello lady!

Hey! Hey, you're a real buster.

Who are you? -Joey.

-No, that's my name. My name's Joe.

-No, that's my name.

-No, I'm Joe. What's your name?

-A couple of regular Joes!

-Hi.

What's your name? -I'm Sarah.

-Hi, Sarah.

I'm Joe.

I've heard there's cake 'round here.

Did you know that? -Yes.

-Oh, you've heard.

-Yes. -Is it good cake?

-They have chocolate and jam

and sprinkles and everything!

-Everything? Do they have icing?

They have icing.

Wanna get some cake? Oh.

Do you mind? -Why not?

-Are you sure? -Yeah.

-I'll be back.

Go on.

Oh. Hey, hey.

Huh.

-This one.

-We got here.

-We did.

To being present.

-To now.

I wanted to say...

-Thank you, too, Toni.

Seriously.

-Don't be nice to me.

-I wouldn't dream of it.

-Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy. -Yeah? Oh! Is that for me?

-Yes! -He's -- He's really fast.

-Did you choose this one especially for me?

-Yes. -Yeah?

Oh, thanks!

Good choice, 'cause I was so hungry for this.

-♪ Sometimes, often ♪

♪ Never, always ♪

♪ In your hallways ♪

♪ I can give you ♪

♪ More or less or ♪

♪ Something different ♪

♪ Keep me posted ♪

♪ I can give you ♪

♪ More ♪

♪ I can give you more ♪

♪ I can give you ♪

♪ Pressures in the deep ♪

♪ Loving in the sunlight ♪

♪ Crystals on your tongue ♪

♪ Sacramental sunset ♪

♪ Raindrops in the spring ♪

♪ Flowers in the shadow ♪

♪ Grasses in the fields ♪

♪ Shooting stars and rainbows, amen ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ Summer days lying on my back ♪

♪ Thinking of all the things I'd run with back ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ I want my old house back ♪

♪ The one the crooks took when life collapsed ♪

♪ Nowhere left to hit the sack ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ Never did anything just for the crack ♪

♪ Never bothered with any of that ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ Watching silent films of years gone by ♪

♪ Time resolved and babies cried ♪

♪ Walking side by side through hills and brooks ♪

♪ Never gave life a second look ♪

♪ And now I'm under attack ♪

♪ And now I'm under attack ♪

♪ And now I'm under attack ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ The world is back to front ♪

♪ Some with needs and some with want ♪

♪ Greedy guts ain't taking up the slack ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪

♪ I want my old life back ♪