Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

- How about some more coffee? - Oh.

No thanks, Harriet.

I think I'd better be running along.

Barry's birthday is Tuesday, and I'm

trying to get a few things organized for it.

That's right.

He mentioned it to me the other day.

How old is he going to be, seven?

No, eight.

Can you imagine?

Oh, it doesn't seem possible.

You're going to have a party for him?

Well, we're not sure.

Somebody say something about a party?

- Oh, hi, dear. - Hi.

Be glad to bring my banjo or my lampshade or both.

Well, we're talking about Barry's birthday.

He's going to be eight years old Tuesday.

Oh, that's right.

You're going to have a party for him?

Well, I was just telling Harriet

I'd like to do something for him,

but the kids go to so many parties at this age.

I was trying to think of something a little different

this time.

Well, how about a good old-fashioned surprise party?

Well, we tried that last year, but we discovered that seven

and eight-year-olds aren't too good at keeping secrets.

Well, what else for that matter?

Well, we may just get a bunch of his friends

together and take him to a movie and buy him some ice cream.

Yeah. That always works pretty good.

Well, if you happen to get any ideas between now

and the next couple of days, let me know.

- OK. - And thanks for the coffee.

- Glad you stopped by. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

Let's not forget to get Barry a present, huh?

Yes, I know. I was thinking about that.

You're going downtown this afternoon, aren't you?

Well, Joe did say something about it.

Why?

Then why don't you see if you can find something for him?

OK.

Oh, and while you're at it, here's

a list of things I need at the market.

OK.

Oh, and would you stop by the hardware store for me,

too, please?

OK.

And would you drop this off at the library for me?

I may owe about $0.15 on it.

May I go now?

Please do.

- Now, is there anything else? - Well, let's see.

I've got the hooks and the line. I guess that's all I need.

How about you, Joe? - I think I'm all set.

Are you fellas going fishing up at the lake?

- Yeah. - Tomorrow morning.

Why don't you take a couple of these along with you?

- What are they? - It's a new lure.

The latest thing.

They call them reflectomatic wriggler digglers.

Come on now, Ed.

You're not going to try to sell us any more lures, are you?

Well, they come very highly recommended.

By whom?

By the manufacturer, among others.

Besides, if you buy one, you get a chance

to win this beautiful new spinning rod.

Hey, that is a good-looking rod.

Yeah, it is.

Well, what do you say, Oz?

How's your sales resistance?

Well, I might as well be a sport.

I think I'll take one of these wiggle diggles

or whatever they are.

Hey, you won't regret it.

How about you, Joe? - Well, why not?

Might as well go along with the gag.

It might be good for getting olives out of bottles.

You may be right at that.

How do we win the pole?

Oh, here.

You just reach into the bowl, grab one of the little papers.

If it has a picture of a fish on it,

you're one of the lucky winners.

Well, go ahead, Joe.

After you, Oz.

I want to see how it's done.

Uh.

Nothing.

Sorry, Oz.

That's what's known as drawing a blank.

Just a second.

I'll be right back.

We have a lot of shopping to do, you know.

I'll be right back.

You might as well go ahead.

He's liable to take quite a while.

Oh, thank you.

Pardon me.

Hi, Mr. Nelson

Oh, hi there, Barry.

Whatcha buying?

Oh, just some fishing stuff.

This reflectomatic wriggler diggler, among other things.

What's that?

It's just a fancy name for a fishing lure.

My birthday's next Tuesday.

So I understand.

I just thought I'd mention it.

Yeah.

Your mother told me.

I'm going to be eight years old.

Well, that's pretty old.

That's almost old enough for a mustache.

I'd rather have a beard.

I think you have to be 12 to grow a beard in this state.

All set.

Hi, Mr. Randolph.

Hi, Barry.

Where the heck did you go?

Just out to the car.

You wouldn't want me to draw for it

without wearing my lucky fishing hat, would you?

You must be kidding.

Where's the bowl?

Here you are.

Whatcha doing, Mr. Randolph?

I am about to win a fishing rod.

Right now, I am concentrating.

Quiet, everybody. Please.

How much concentrating does it to pick

a piece of paper out of a bowl?

I have to give the good luck wavelengths time

to get from my hat down to my fingers.

They close at 5 o'clock, you know.

Don't rush me.

Here we go.

Hey, it's a fish!

Well, you're the winner, Joe.

Congratulations.

I told you this was my lucky hat!

If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it.

Well, here you are.

Good luck with it.

Gee, thanks, Ed.

It's the first thing I ever won in my life.

Thanks for the ride, Mr. Randolph.

That's OK, Barry.

When are you going fishing?

Tomorrow morning.

I sure wish I could go along with you sometime.

Well, we'll take you with us one of these days.

Are we taking your car this time, Oz?

No.

We took my car last time. - We did not.

We took mine. Don't you remember?

We got stuck in the mud.

Well, I'll toss you for it.

The loser takes his car.

Just a second.

You call it.

OK.

Tails.

You must be kidding.

When I get old enough to drive, we can go up in my car.

OK.

We'll do that, Barry.

Go ahead and toss it.

I sure wish I could go.

OK. Tails.

What did I tell you?

Well, baby, we did it again.

Might as well put some of my stuff in your car now.

- Mr. Nelson? - Yeah?

I got a good idea for a birthday present.

And what's that?

Take me fishing with you tomorrow morning.

Oh, gee, I don't know, Barry.

Have to ask your mother and father.

What do you think, Joe?

Oh, yeah.

That's OK with me, but we're going to leave awful early.

I always get up early.

And it's a long ride up there.

It's liable to get pretty boring.

Not for me.

I like long rides.

Well, look.

You talk to your parents about it.

And if it's OK with them, you can come along with us.

Gee. Thanks, Mr. Nelson.

I'll see you in the morning.

Don't forget to ask your mother and father, now.

OK. So long.

So long.

There goes a happy little fella.

Oh, yeah.

And he's a swell little guy.

But don't you think maybe we're making a mistake taking him

fishing with us?

Well, I don't see why.

Well, I hate to sound selfish, but I don't get a chance

to go fishing very often.

I don't want to spend the whole day baiting his hook

and fishing him out of the water.

Oh, he won't be any trouble.

Besides, look at all the fun he'll have.

It'll be a big event in his life.

Oh, sure.

That's what he thinks now, but he'll probably

get up to the lake and say to himself, "What am I doing up

here with these two old fogies?

I should have stayed home with the rest of the kids."

No, no.

Not at eight years old.

Believe me, I've been through this twice.

About 13 or 14 is where the old man starts to get in the way.

Well, I just don't want to spoil his fun.

And ours, too.

Look, will you forget it?

We'll all have a wonderful time.

Besides, we can't back out now.

We've promised him.

He'll be counting the hours till we leave.

Probably won't even go to sleep tonight.

Well, OK.

I better get on home now.

Oh, here are your groceries.

Oh, thanks.

Don't you want to leave your lucky hat in my car?

No.

I think I'd better take it with me.

I may need it.

I haven't asked Clara if I can go fishing yet.

I'll see you in the morning.

OK, Oz.

Hi.

Hi.

I fixed lunch for you guys.

Don't eat it before 10 o'clock.

Well, we'll do our best.

I hope you catch a lot of fish.

Well, how can we miss?

Joe's wearing his lucky hat.

Lucky hat?

I thought it was lucky sneakers.

No, that was last year.

He lost his sneakers when he fell out of the boat.

He's not really that superstitious, is he?

Well, only when it comes to fishing.

A couple of years ago, we used to have to sit around and wait

for boat number 12.

And then last year, he thought it

was lucky to stand up in the back of the boat, facing north.

In fact, that's how he lost the sneakers.

You sure you're not making this up?

Well, maybe a little of it.

I hate to rush you, but hadn't you better get started?

Oh, OK.

I'll put the stuff out in the car.

Not going to wear that old coat, are you?

Well, sure.

This is my lucky coat. - Oh.

I see.

Not that I believe in this stuff, but why take chances?

Thank you.

Wait a minute, Oz.

Don't put the lunch basket back here.

We might get a little hungry on the way up.

Oh, no.

Look, let's not eat the stuff on the way up there.

We'll have nothing left at lunchtime.

Are you kidding?

We're going to have fish for lunch.

I'm wearing my lucky hat.

Well, just in case, let's leave it back here.

Suit yourself, Oz.

Hey, where's Barry?

I don't know.

Come to think of it, he didn't phone last night.

May have changed his mind.

You know how kids are.

Well, either that or his folks wouldn't let him go.

Hi, Mr. Nelson, Mr. Randolph.

Oh, hi, Barry.

We had just about giving up on you.

You didn't call us last night.

I didn't ask if I could go until this morning.

You waited till this morning to ask?

Sure.

That's the best time.

They always say yes to anything just so they get back to sleep.

But they were awake when you asked them, aren't they?

Oh, sure.

Ozzie, can I speak to you for a minute?

OK.

- Hi, Joe. - Hi, Harriet.

Hi, Mrs. Nelson.

Morning, Barry.

Put your stuff in the car, Barry.

Here, I'll give you a hand.

There we go.

I'm afraid you've got a little problem.

Oh, what's that?

Well, Barry's mother just phoned,

and he can't go up to the lake with you.

Why not? We'll take good care of him.

Well, that's not the point.

They're having a surprise party for him today.

Well, why today?

His birthday isn't till Tuesday.

Well, Tuesday's a school day, so they

decided to have it today.

Gee, I wish she'd given us a little warning about this.

Well, he didn't tell him he was going fishing

until this morning.

Well, why didn't they tell him he couldn't go?

Well, Anne said they were half asleep,

and he's out of the back door before they

realized what he'd said.

Well, that's great.

What are we supposed to do about it?

Well, I'm supposed to tell you and you're

supposed to tell Barry.

And without telling him about the surprise party I suppose.

Why me?

Well, you seemed like the logical wonder

since you suggested both his surprise party and the fishing

trip.

Well, I don't see what that's got to do with it.

Come on, Oz!

Come on, Mr. Nelson.

Fish are jumpin'.

Hey, Oz.

Look at all this stuff Barry brought along.

It's for the trip.

A couple of fishing magazines to read,

and a game he and I can play so we won't bother you

while you're driving.

He even brought us a couple of apples.

And I brought my own worms.

I dug 'em myself.

I hope you didn't dig them out of the apples.

Oh, no. Honest.

Oz, you were right.

This is going to be a lot of fun.

Uh, yeah.

Well, I'm afraid there's something

I have to talk to Barry about.

Well, you got all day to talk to him.

Come on. Let's get going.

No, no, no.

Wait a second, will you please?

Look, Barry, I know we invited you to come along,

but that doesn't mean you have to go.

Oh, I want to go, Mr. Nelson.

You know he does, Oz.

What are you talking about? - Now, now, now.

Wait a second.

Maybe he doesn't want to go fishing

with a couple of old fogies like us.

Maybe he's just saying he does to be polite.

Oh, no.

I want to go, Mr. Nelson.

Honest.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather

stay home and play ball or something with kids

your own age? - Oh, no.

I go fishing with my grandpa, and he's twice as old

as you are.

Look, Oz.

Barry doesn't care how old you are, I don't care,

and the fish don't care.

Joe, why don't you go in and have a cup of coffee?

I don't want any coffee.

I just had a big breakfast.

Harriet wants to talk to you.

She'll explain everything.

Oh. Oh, well.

OK.

I'll be right back.

Look, Barry.

I might as well tell you straight out.

I'm a little worried about you going with us.

How come?

Well, it's going to be a long drive up there.

And when we get there, we'll just be sitting around all day.

You know, fishing can be pretty dull.

Don't you want me to go with you, Mr. Nelson?

Well, of course I do.

It's just that I think it'll be a lot better if you think it

over and go fishing with us the next time we go.

OK?

- Well, OK. - Come on.

I'll get your stuff out of the car.

Bye, Barry.

Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.

Did you tell him, Oz?

Yeah.

He just went home.

Poor little guy.

Oh, it's a shame. Never mind, dear.

It's for a worthy cause.

He'll find out why this afternoon.

Oh, sure. Besides, you know how kids are.

They get upset about something, five minutes later,

they've forgotten all about it.

I sure hope so.

He looked so sad.

You want some coffee?

No, thanks.

Well, we'd better get going, Joe.

You got everything now?

Yeah.

Would you close the back of the car, please?

Hey, Oz.

Look at that.

What's that?

Barry forgot his lunch.

Oh, gee.

That's a shame.

Peanut butter and jelly.

Hey, they look good.

It's bad enough we had to leave the kid home.

Let's not eat his lunch.

OK, OK.

Hey, you getting a little hungry?

Oh, not especially.

What'd Harriet put in the basket?

Do you know?

Fried chicken.

Wish you hadn't mentioned fried chicken.

I can almost smell it.

Sure is beautiful up here, isn't it, Oz?

Oh, it sure is.

Hi.

Barry?

Barry, what are you doing here?

Hope you're not mad, Mr. Nelson.

I'm a stowaway.

Well, I'm not mad--

You really shouldn't have done this, Barry.

I just wanted to go fishing.

I won't be any trouble, honest.

I'll bait my own hook and I won't fall in the lake,

and you can keep my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Don't be silly.

You eat your own sandwich.

I ate all your chicken.

I told you I smelled some chicken.

I can stay, can I?

Well, it looks like we don't have much choice.

It isn't that we don't want you, but your mother and father

are going to be awfully worried.

I told them I was going with you.

They said it was OK.

It's--

Oh, yeah, it's just like Mr. Nelson said.

Well, I'll tell you.

Why don't you go down and check the lake?

Well, it's still there. I can see it.

Yeah, I know it's still there, but why don't you

get down there and look around, see

if you can find a good place for us to fish, OK?

OK.

Now what?

I wish I knew.

His mother's probably phoning all over town,

trying to find out what happened to him.

Yeah.

And that surprise party's going to be more of a surprise

than they thought.

Mr. Nelson?

Yes, Barry?

I found a great place to fish.

Well, good for you, son.

You go on back and wait for us.

OK.

Well, what next?

I don't know.

We can't stay up here, that's for sure.

Say, how does this sound?

Since this is your car, you drive him back home,

then come back and get me, and I'll split 50/50 with you

on all the fish I catch.

Look, you drive back with us or you walk home.

I was afraid you were going to say that.

Well, there goes our fishing trip.

Well, the first thing we have to do is get to a telephone

and let them know he's OK.

Boy, this is great.

And I feel lucky today, too.

Well, I'll give you a break.

I'll go telephone, you can go down to the lake and fish

until I get back.

I accept your offer.

That's the first sensible thing you've said all day.

- Hello? - Harriet?

Oh hi, dear.

Look, if anybody's worried about Barry, he's with us.

- With you? - Yeah.

Poor little guy.

He stowed away in back of the station wagon.

Oh, for goodness sake.

I'm so glad you called.

Anne and Dick have just been worried to death.

Well, yeah, I figured they would be.

Well, what about the surprise party?

Well, we haven't told him, but if we leave right now,

we'll get him back in plenty of time.

Well, OK.

It's a shame to spoil your fishing trip.

Yeah.

Well, we can't help that.

Oh, and by the way, maybe I'd better call Clara and give her

a little warning.

Joe may not be in a very good mood when we get back home.

OK, dear.

Well, I'll call Anne right away. - OK.

Bye.

- Bye-bye. - Hey, Oz.

Where you been?

How do you like these, old boy?

Where'd you catch those?

Right in the lake here.

How do you like mine?

Holy mackerel!

It's a trout.

Come on. Join us.

You better hide behind a tree while you bait your hook,

though.

Wait a second, you mean to say you caught all

those fish while I was phoning? - Well, of course.

Where do you think we got them?

This is the greatest fishing I've ever seen.

Come on. Get your stuff.

Oh, Joe.

Could I speak to you for a minute?

Where are you going?

Will you just stay here and fish?

We'll be right back.

What do you want?

Well, you know darn well what I want.

We've got to get Barry back to town

before we louse up his surprise party.

And stop fishing?

Joe, we've been all through this.

But, Oz, this is the luckiest day I've ever had.

Boy, my lucky hat's really been working.

For your information, you're not wearing your hat.

You left it back in the car.

Then what do you suppose has been bringing me

all this good luck?

Why, of course!

It's Barry.

You've been out in the sun too long.

Your head is starting to shrink. - No.

I mean it, Oz.

He's been right beside me the whole time.

Not only that, he was standing next to me when I won the rod,

and he was right there when I won that toss of the coin.

Joe--

Let's face it, Oz.

I got a lucky kid on my hands.

OK, fine.

Let's get him back to town so we don't ruin his surprise party.

Oz, we can't do that.

Now, you call Barry's mother and have her call

off the whole party.

I'll do nothing of the sort.

This whole thing is ridiculous.

OK.

If it's so ridiculous, you stand next to him

and see if he doesn't bring you luck.

Come on. - Joe.

Joe!

Here, Oz.

Take just one cast.

Well, just one, then we have to go.

- Go where? - Shh.

Just a minute, Barry.

Hey, I got a bite!

Reel it, Oz.

Not so fast now.

Wow, he's a whopper!

- Hello? - Hi, Rick.

Is Mom there?

No, she isn't, Pop. She went down to the cleaners.

Oh, gee.

I want to talk to her.

Are you still up at the lake?

Yeah.

Well, I thought you were bringing Barry back

for the surprise party.

Well, that's what I want to talk to your mother about.

See, the little guy's having such a great time,

it seems like an awful dirty trick

to drag him away from here just for a surprise party.

Uh, Pop?

Yeah?

How many fish have you caught so far?

Look, you won't believe this, but I've never

seen fish biting like this.

All you have to do is throw in the line and hang on.

Joe thinks it's Barry.

Thinks he's a good luck charm or something.

But whatever it is, boy, they sure are biting.

Yeah, it sounds great.

See, I just thought maybe your mother

could talk to Barry's mother, and they might

be able to call the party off.

- What? - Well, you know.

She could tell the kids that the party's been called off.

Or they could have a surprise party without Barry.

They wanted something different.

That doesn't sound right.

Well, never mind, Rick.

Tell your mother we're on our way.

Oh, just a second, Pop.

Here she is. - Rick?

Rick?

Rick? - Hello?

Oh.

Hello, dear.

Listen, did they sew the button back on my brown suit?

Yes.

Oh, that's good.

Well, OK.

We'll see you.

OK.

Bye, dear.

Bye.

Hello?

Oh, hello, dear.

Well, no.

I don't think it's crazy at all.

Sounds like a wonderful idea.

OK.

Right away. All right.

Bye-bye

Looks like Ozzie's idea's a big success.

The only thing, though, I wonder

how fried trout's going to go with strawberry ice cream

and chocolate layer cake.

Who cares as long as the kids are having fun?

Stand over on the other side of me, Barry.

No. Stay right where you are, Barry.

Right next to me. - Well, now, Oz!

Now, you caught the last fish.

I don't suppose I should complain.

It was a great idea, Oz.

I must admit you saved the day.

You sure did.

This is the best surprise party ever.

Yeah.

This sure is a good party, boys.

I like fishing better than anything.

Me, too!

Careful of the hooks, now, boys.

- Are you all set? - OK.

Bring 'em on.

Now's our chance, Oz. Let's get out of here.

Yeah.

Why don't we take the boat and row out

to the middle of the lake?

That's the best idea yet.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Barry.

Happy birthday to you.

This is the best surprise party I ever had, boy.