Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

Hey, isn't somebody giving a dance or something?

Anything at all?

Not that I can find.

There must be something going on this weekend.

Well, what about the Bachelor's Club?

They haven't had a party in about three months.

Well, they're on social probation.

No kidding? Since when?

Well, since about three months.

That was some party, wasn't it?

Well, I suppose we could take the girls to a movie.

We always go to a movie.

Hey, the Pilackily Literary Society

is having an open forum Saturday night.

- Are you kidding? - No.

Coffee and sandwiches are on the house.

Oh, goody.

What kind of sandwiches?

Well, it doesn't say here, but we could probably find out.

Nobody else has come up with any better suggestions.

Hey, I've got a class in five minutes.

You know, I might surprise Linda and take her out

to dinner. - What are you trying to do?

Make the rest of us look bad?

That sounds like a good idea.

Hey, how about Harry's Grill?

They've got pretty good steak sandwiches out there.

Yeah, but not for a date.

Yeah, they've been letting it get kind of rundown lately.

Well, does anybody have any suggestions?

Well, if we want to go someplace special,

there's always the Persian Terrace.

Well, where's that?

Well, I'm not too sure, but it must be pretty good.

I heard my father complaining about the bill he got there

the other night.

Well, it sounds like it's a little out of my price range.

Yeah, mine, too.

Well, meanwhile back at the Pilackily Literary Society--

Well, why don't we find out a little bit more

about the Persian Terrace?

It might not be too expensive.

That's an idea.

Besides, we don't have to order everything on the menu.

Well, if you guys can scrape up the money, I guess I can.

Well, then why don't we get dates and figure on it, huh?

- OK. - OK with me.

Hey, maybe we could get Sharyn or Fred to come along.

How about you and Ginger?

No, I think you'd better count me out.

Why?

Well, I've got other plans for that night.

Since when?

I just remembered.

OK.

You're going to be missing out on a lot of fun.

Yeah, I know, but I don't think I can make it.

Well, if you change your mind, let us know.

OK.

Would you mind repeating that?

Well, the Persian Terrace.

Would you like to go?

Oh, of course we would.

Say yes before they change their mind.

Wait a minute.

How many Persian Terraces are there in town?

Well, only one as far as I know.

And that's one we're talking about.

Oh, it sounds wonderful. I'd love to go.

Will you call me over at the house

and give me all the details? - OK.

It's all set though, isn't it? - Oh, sure.

It sounds wonderful.

I'd better get someone to take my history test for me.

I won't be able to remember a thing.

OK, I'll call you.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Well, something tells me they're

kind of pleased with the idea. - Yeah.

We probably ought to call over there and reserve a table.

Well, I can call right after my next class.

Who all's going? - Well, let's see.

There's and you and I and Fred and Charlie.

- Well, what about Wally? - Well, he's not going.

Remember? - Oh, yeah, that's right.

I wonder why not. - Gee, I don't know.

It's too bad. He's a lot of laughs.

Say, pardon me, did you just say something about Wally?

- Yeah. - Wally Plumstead?

Sort of-- - Yeah.

That's him. - Well, where can I find him?

Do you know? - Well, why?

Well, I've been looking all over for him.

He owes me a dollar and a half.

Good luck.

Yeah, he doesn't usually consider repaying debts

till they reach at least $2.

Gee, I saw him coming down the hall yesterday afternoon,

but when I waved to him, he just kind of disappeared.

Yeah, he's very good at that for a fella his size.

Would you tell him that Pete's looking for him?

OK, but don't get your hopes up.

I happen to know he's two months behind in his house bill.

No kidding?

Yeah, and that adds up to quite a bit.

That doesn't sound too good for my dollar and a half,

does it?

Well, I don't think I've seen you around here before.

Are you a freshman? - Yes, sir.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

You're bound to get it before you graduate.

I sure hope so.

Hey, do you think Wally's in some sort of financial trouble?

Oh, no more than usual.

You know Wally.

Hey, you guys. You get your dates lined up?

Yeah. Can you imagine?

We didn't get any argument at all.

I know what you mean. I just said "Persian Terrace."

She said yes. I said, "My name is Charlie."

She said, "Glad to know you.

My name is Doris."

Have you seen Wally?

Yeah, I think he's down in the basement.

What's he doing down there?

Gee, I don't know.

Hey, do you guys smell something burning?

Yeah.

I think it's coming from the basement.

Hey, what's going on down here?

Oh, hi, fellas.

Anybody know a good French weaver?

What are you doing?

I'm doing my laundry.

Well, how come?

Oh, I just haven't been too happy with the job

the laundry's been doing.

Doesn't look like you're doing too well yourself.

Well, at least I'm improving.

Hey, what's the big idea?

What do you mean, what's the big idea?

Can't a guy do his own laundry if he wants to?

OK, OK.

Let's see.

That'll be four malts for you guys.

And there's a cheeseburger, an order of French fries,

a bowl of chili, and a double banana split.

Hey, wait a second. Who ordered all that junk?

Well, that's Wally's standard order.

Yeah, well, he won't be coming over today.

- How come? - I don't know.

We ask him, and he said he was going on a diet.

A diet?!

He can't go on a diet.

I'll go bankrupt.

Well, OK.

Four malts.

Hey, what's going on with Wally, anyway?

You got me.

He sure has been acting strange, hasn't he?

Well, yeah, I have a feeling it

has something to do with his being short of money.

He's always short of money. It's never bothered him before.

Well, no, I mean really short.

You know he's almost two months behind in his room

and board at the house?

No kidding?

No wonder he's doing his own laundry.

And he had a couple of big bills

on his car last month, too, didn't he?

Yeah, seems to me he did.

You know, if he's talking about going on a diet,

he really must be broke.

Yeah.

- Gee, that's too bad. - Yeah.

Well, the thing is, Wally always seems like such

a happy-go-lucky sort of a guy.

You never think of him as having any problems.

Gee, I hope he doesn't have to leave

school or anything like that.

Oh, I don't think it's that bad.

And I was giving him a bad time the other day

just because he borrowed a couple of my shirts.

Those were your shirts?

Here you go, fellas.

Oh, thanks, Jack.

How does it taste?

Oh, real good.

I still say Jack makes the best malts in town.

Thanks, Rick.

Sharyn was really surprised when

I told her we were going to the Persian Terrace.

She's never been there.

They say the food's really great.

Yeah.

And they've got a good orchestra there, too.

Yeah.

I wonder if they've got fried chicken and sweet potatoes.

Oh, sure.

They got anything you want.

Everything's a la carte.

Hey, wait a minute.

What are we doing here anyway?

What do you mean?

Well, here we are planning to spend a lot of money

and go to an expensive restaurant,

and poor Wally's back there in the basement

burning holes in his shirts.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I never thought of it that way.

Yeah, that's pretty bad.

Hey, wait a minute.

What shirts?

The shirts we were talking about.

Well, what do we do?

Well, I hate to be the one to suggest it,

but I think we ought to forget about the Persian Terrace

and take the money we were going to spend and give it to Wally.

Come on, you guys.

We're talking about one of our fraternity brothers.

Well, OK.

I'll go along with you.

Well, I will, too, but what about our dates?

Well, they'll understand.

You know, I don't think they really

believed we were going to take them there anyway.

Is it OK with you guys?

OK.

What about you, Fred?

Fred?

Did they have French cuffs with button-down collars?

Well, it looks like you made quite a haul here.

Yeah, the guys really came through.

It's darn nice of 'em.

Rick, here's an apple pie for Wally.

Oh, gee, thanks, Mom.

We won't have any trouble getting him to take that.

Which reminds me, how are you going

to go about getting him to take the money?

Gee, I don't know.

That's been kind of worrying me.

We can't just walk up to him and say, "Here you go, Wally.

We took up a collection for you."

No.

There must be a lot of ways of giving a guy

money without his realizing it.

Well, yeah, I hope we can figure out something.

Oh.

Dropped a five there.

Oh, thanks, Pop.

Wait a second.

I didn't drop this.

I've got all my money right here.

See what I mean?

Well, gee, thanks.

That's a good idea.

Here he comes. What are we making it, a dollar?

Don't be chintzy. Make it two.

It might be a little unusual to find two $1 bills.

OK.

Then make it a five.

I haven't got a five.

Here you go.

- Hey, Joe? - Yeah.

Hey, is that stuff from the cleaners?

Yeah.

Is there anything in there for Wally?

I think so.

This jacket. - Oh, good.

We'll take it up to his room.

65, 75, $1, 2, 2, 4, $5.

Well, thanks a lot, Jack, but I only gave you a one.

Are you kidding? You gave me a five.

I put it right here.

See?

Well, I think I only gave you a one.

Well, if you insist, I'll be happy to make a mistake

and give you a change for a one. - Oh, no.

That's OK.

I don't want to louse up your books.

OK, Rick, you can come out now.

Did it work?

- Sure, like a charm. - Oh, thanks, Jack.

OK. Any time.

Hello?

Well, Wally wins again.

Boy, Wally, you sure got me beat tonight.

Well, to tell you the truth, I never thought a pair of tens

would beat that one, especially with twos and one-eyed Jacks

wild. - I'm out.

Me, too. I'm folding.

Well, now, wait a minute. You guys can't quit now.

This is too embarrassing.

Well, embarrassing or not, I'm through for tonight.

You're just too lucky, Wally.

Well, OK.

I've got to go make a call.

Any time you guys want to lose your shirts again, let me know.

Hey, speaking of shirts--

I sure had a tough time losing that hand.

I had three kings. - Well, I had a straight.

That's nothing.

I started out with a full house, threw it away,

and drew four aces.

Oh, it was worth it.

At least he's got enough there to pay off a few of his bills.

Hi, Ginger, honey.

Hey, listen, you'll never believe this, but I'm loaded.

No, no, I mean with money.

Look, I've never had such a run of luck.

And before I do something foolish with it,

you and I are going out to the Persian Terrace tomorrow night

and shoot the works.

What did you guys finally decide to do tonight, Rick?

Well, Jimmy and I are going to take our dates to a movie.

Oh.

That's sort of a comedown for the girls isn't it,

from the Persian Terrace to a movie?

Well, it's in color and on a wide screen.

Oh.

Well, I guess that helps.

How do they take this sudden change of events?

The girls, I mean. - Oh, pretty good.

They were philosophical about it.

Oh, well, that's the way it goes.

Girls can surprise you sometimes and be pretty nice.

Well, thanks a lot.

On other occasions, they can just surprise you.

I thought he was being too nice.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Rick.

It's me.

Say, I just heard a rumor that you guys aren't going

to the Persian Terrace tonight.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Well, we figured it might be a little too expensive for us.

Well, for gosh sakes, why didn't you say so?

I could have loaned you some money.

Oh, no, that's OK.

Well, look, I had to take care of a few expenses,

but I still have a little left if you want to borrow it.

Oh, no thanks.

Thanks just the same, but it's probably

a waste of money going to an expensive place like that

anyway.

Hey, Jimmy and I are taking the girls to a movie tonight.

Why don't you get Ginger and come along?

Oh, well, no. I don't think so.

We kind of made some other plans.

Well, are you sure?

We'd love to have you come along with us.

Oh, well, thanks, Rick, but we really can't make it.

Thanks just the same.

Well, OK.

So long.

Was that Wally?

Yeah.

Gee, how about that guy?

He's trying to lend us money.

Oh, he's a real nice boy.

Yeah, he sure is.

Well, I better get Jimmy.

We're supposed to pick the girls up at the sorority house at 7.

Well, what about dinner?

Well, we figured the least we could do

is buy them a hamburger at the malt shop.

Hey, wait a second.

What are you doing?

Just a little bouquet for insurance.

When I talked to Linda, she seemed to understand OK,

but then you never can tell.

That's not a bad idea.

Hey, get a load of that car.

Yeah, chauffeur and everything.

I wonder who that is.

Hey, wait a second. It's Wally.

Thank you, Newton.

We'll be out in a couple of minutes.

- Yes, sir. - Oh, hi, Rick.

Hi, Jimmy.

Lovely evening, isn't it?

Never mind that.

What's going on around here? - Yeah.

What are you all dressed up for?

Oh, I thought I'd give Ginger a little treat tonight.

I'm taking her to the Persian Terrace for dinner.

Well, isn't that just dandy?

May I ask what you're using for money?

Oh, I managed to pick up a couple of dollars here

and there. Well, see you later, boys.

All right.

Just a second, Wally.

Hey, wait a minute. Cut that out!

Put me down!

What are you doing?

What do you mean, your money?

I found it fair and square.

But it was our money.

Oh, what a bunch of sore heads.

Just because I won a few bucks from you playing poker.

That's right. Because we planned it that way.

Oh, come on.

I just happened to get some good cards and you know it.

Well, I know it, that's for sure.

I dealt most of them to you on purpose.

And the only reason you found that money

was because we put it there. - You what?

We put it there.

We planted it where you couldn't miss it.

Oh, brother.

I've heard everything now.

Oh, come on, fellas.

I haven't got all night.

A joke is a joke, but I've got a date.

Sit down, Wally.

Look, we're not kidding.

We knew you were broke, so we took up

a collection to help you out. - Broke?

What do you mean broke?

Well, you're two months behind in your house bill.

Are you kidding? I'm always two months behind.

As long as I owe 'em money, they don't dare throw me out.

And how come you're doing your own laundry

and staying away from the malt shop?

I was just trying to save up a little extra money

so I could go to the Persian Terrace with you guys.

And I was trying to take off a few pounds because Ginger

said I was getting too fat.

Well, what about the limousine and the chauffeur

and the flowers and everything?

Well, that was sort of a gag to surprise Ginger.

I never have enough money to take her anyplace,

so when I got lucky I decided to do it up right.

Well, I suppose it isn't really Wally's fault.

After all, he didn't know what we were doing.

That's right. I didn't.

Can I go now?

Wait a minute.

What about the money?

Well, what about it?

Well, we'll forget the whole thing if you just pay us back.

Are you kidding? I spent it.

I rented the tux, bought the flowers,

and hired the limousine and chauffeur.

Well, that's great.

But if it wasn't for you, we'd all

be down at the Persian Terrace with our dates.

Well, what are you blaming me for?

I wasn't the one who decided to give me all the money.

Although I must admit it was a beautiful gesture,

and I greatly appreciate it.

Well, that's just fine.

Meanwhile you and Ginger are down at the Persian Terrace

living it up.

Yeah, while we're eating at the local hamburger stand.

Not necessarily.

What do you mean, not necessarily?

Well, why don't we all go down to the Persian Terrace

for dinner?

Well, that's great, but what do we use for money?

I have enough money for Ginger and me, and that's all we need.

I think he's flipped his wig.

No, I have a plan.

Listen, don't you guys trust me?

Well, let's put it another way.

I haven't been a moocher all these years for nothing.

Come on.

OK?

Well, OK, but this better be good.

Where are we going?

We're going to phone the girls and tell them to get all

dressed up for a big evening.

Well, come on!

All right, girls.

Right this way.

What's going on, anyway?

Are we going to the Persian Terrace or aren't we?

If this is some kind of a joke--

Now, now, girls, stop worrying.

I got everything all figured out.

Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.

- Come on, Wally.

Let's get going. - All right.

Pick a number.

Now, who's couple number one? - We are.

All right.

Now, wait a second.

How come you don't get a number? - Now, now, honey.

It's all right.

All right, couple number one, on your way.

- We'll see you later. - Bye.

Good luck. - Bye.

Good luck.

You all set?

I have to get my stole.

I'd still like to know what this is all about.

You want to go to the Persian Terrace, don't you?

Well, yes, that's the general idea.

All right. Then just sit down and relax.

Well, honey, having a good time?

Not yet.

But if I don't get to the Persian Terrace,

I sure will have.

Mind not pointing that thing at me?

It might be loaded.

Hey, it looks like we're going in real style.

Well, you know how it is.

Nothing but the best.

Thank you, Newton.

Yes, sir.

We'll order a coffee and dessert later.

Yes, sir.

Oh, where's the phone, please?

Just to the right at the entrance, sir.

Or I'll be glad to bring a phone to the table.

Oh, no. That's OK.

Thanks.

It's a beautiful place, isn't it?

Yeah, it sure is.

I hope this is legal.

Oh, come on now. Relax.

Have a good time.

Would you pardon me for second?

Certainly.

Hello, Wally?

Oh, everything's going fine.

It took us exactly 12 minutes to get here.

Well, they should be serving the shrimp cocktail

right about now. - OK, Rick.

Thanks. - OK.

Couple number two, take off. - Come on, Linda.

That's us. - See you later, Ginger.

- Bye, Linda. - Yeah.

Bye-bye. - Yeah, take it easy.

- Have a nice time. - Thank you.

Gee, chauffeur and everything.

Oh, it's nothing, really.

Persian Terrace, please, Newton.

Very good, sir.

Well, that was good.

Yeah, it sure was, wasn't it?

I wish there'd been more of it.

Same here.

Oh, there's Linda and Jimmy.

What do we do now?

Oh, we get up and dance.

OK.

Hi.

Hi.

This is really a beautiful place.

- It sure is. - Let's see.

I believe that was the Roquefort for the young lady

and the Thousand Island for the gentleman.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

Well, yeah, they just started their salad a couple of minutes

ago. - OK.

Check.

All right, couple number three, on your way.

- That's us, Doris. - OK.

- So long. - Bye.

- Bye. - See you later, Wally.

Yeah, don't forget to call.

Well, it looks like we've had it.

Now here come Charlie and Doris.

But I'm still hungry.

Oh, well, here, have a roll.

Thanks a lot.

Let's dance.

Isn't this beautiful?

Yeah, it sure is.

We got the lucky number.

We get the main course.

I wonder what we ordered.

Here it comes.

Something wrong?

Oh, medium rare?

Oh, the young lady.

Thank you.

Yes, sir.

Well, that sure was good.

Sure was.

Everything satisfactory?

Yes, very nice.

Thank you.

Can we have some more water, please?

Why, yes, sir.

May we have our coffee and dessert, please?

Coffee and dessert.

Say, George?

Yeah?

Do you think it's possible to take too many vitamin pills?

I don't know.

Why?

Never mind.

About time we got here.

Oh, relax, honey. We're here now.

Let's just have a good time. - What are we going to get?

Oh, you'll find out.

Your check, sir.

Oh, thank you.

That's great, but what are we going to get to eat?

Well, how about an after-dinner mint?

Very funny.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, hi, Wally. Hi, Ginger.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson. - They're all in the den.

Oh, thanks.

Come on, honey.

- Hi, everybody. - Hey, Wally.

How's it going?

Yeah, that was an interesting solution over the restaurant,

but I can't help feeling sorry for the poor waiter.

Oh, he'll be all right.

Wally left him a good-sized tip.

Oh, that's good.

Gee, the only thing, though, some of you guys

must still be hungry, aren't you?

Well, actually, that's why we dropped by.

We thought maybe Mom could fix us some hamburgers.

Oh, gee, I don't know, Rick, it's awfully late.

Well, I have a hunch we can talk her into it.

Ozzie, look at the beautiful flowers the boys brought me.

Oh, say, they are beautiful.

Would you mind putting them in some water?

I want to get the hamburgers started.

Oh, sure.

I see what you mean.

Good thinking, son.

Thanks, Dad.