Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

You look pretty sharp tonight.

Thank you.

I think a wife should get dressed up for her husband

when he comes home from a hard day at the office.

Oh.

Besides, we're going out for dinner tonight.

Oh.

Well, maybe I better check the family finances first.

We're going over to your mom and dad's.

Oh, well, that's different.

You had me worried there for a minute.

I'll get cleaned up.

OK.

Hey, what's all this?

Oh, just paying the bills.

Oh. You don't have to do that.

I'll get it later.

I know, but I thought it was about time I started helping

out with some of the paperwork.

Oh, OK.

Don't you want me to?

Sure.

What's the matter?

Don't you think I can handle it?

Well, I'm not sure.

Somehow you just don't look like the type

who'd be good at arithmetic.

Is that so?

Well, I just may surprise you.

You will double check all the addition and subtraction.

Oh, of course.

There's no rush, you know.

You don't have to finish that tonight.

Well, I want to see how much money we have left.

Why?

Well, I'd kind of like to get a new lamp for the living room

table over there, if that's OK with you.

Well, yeah, but we don't have to do that tonight, do we?

No, but we'll be going right by the lamp store on the way

to your folks, so I thought maybe

we could stop in if we got an early start.

So will you kind of hurry it up?

OK.

May I help you?

Oh, we're just looking. Thank you.

Well, if I can be of any assistance, just let me know.

Oh, thank you.

Well, do you see anything you like?

Yeah, this one's kind of nice.

I think that's more for a den.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Here's a nice one.

Oh.

Yeah.

You don't sound very enthusiastic.

Don't pay any attention to me.

I'm not even sure what we're looking for.

Well, it should be not too large and contemporary

and pick up the color in the drapes.

What color are our drapes?

You must be kidding.

OK, if you say so.

Here's one I like.

I'm sure that isn't the color of our drapes, is it?

Well, no, of course not, but it

matches the wallpaper in the hall.

Now you've really got me confused.

Do you like it or don't you?

Yeah, I guess I kind of like it.

Of course, I don't know anything about lamps.

You know whether you like it or not.

Yeah.

I guess I like it.

Well, I think it's perfect.

It's just the right size.

OK.

How much is it?

$85.

That is quite a bit.

It doesn't even have a bulb in it.

It's a shame it's so expensive.

It's just what I've been looking for.

Gee, I didn't know lamps cost that much.

A hundred and a quarter.

I'm going in the wrong direction.

I like this one just as well.

Yeah.

It is kind of nice.

Shall we buy it and save the $40?

Why don't we think about it for a while?

Well, OK.

It's exactly what I've been looking for.

Oh, it sounds just beautiful.

Oh, and it would look perfect in our living room.

I'm sure it would.

Well, guess we're all set.

Hey, fellas, dinner's ready.

Come and get it.

OK.

6, 7, 8.

You realize you have a small fortune in lamps here, Pop?

Oh, yeah.

I see what you mean.

Fortunately, however, we didn't buy them all at once.

What was that all about?

Lamps.

David's just discovered the high cost of household furnishings.

Oh, yes, I heard about the lamp.

Well, I'm beginning to wish I'd never seen it.

It's just exactly what we need.

Junie, do you want to sit there, dear?

And Dave, would you sit here? - Sure.

Oh, here you are. Your troubles are over.

It's a real steal at $2.50.

Just get a little old-fashioned lampshade and put

a bulb in it. - Oh, come on now.

Well, if you change your mind, just let me know.

Well, it is a beautiful lamp.

The one in the store, I mean.

Unfortunately, we just can't afford it.

That is, unless we could take it out of our savings.

Yeah, if we hadn't agreed not to touch our savings

except in case of an emergency.

I know.

Well, it was a good try.

That was such a polite fight, I don't even know who won.

Say, would you fellas like to hear an interesting idea

that Junie and I have been discussing?

Well, we were just about to find out

who committed the murder, but go ahead.

You remember last summer when you went on that crash diet

and took off 15 pounds?

Yeah.

And put it back on again in two weeks?

Hey, hey.

Let your mother talk.

Well, Junie has a wonderful plan.

Oh, come on, honey.

You don't have to take off any weight.

You look just right.

This has nothing to do with taking off weight.

This is a crash program to save money so we can get the lamp.

Oh, but the lamp costs $85.

That's a lot of crash.

I know it.

That's why it'll have to be a crash program.

We're going to cut down on all our little extravagances.

Well, I suppose we could put the yacht in dry dock

and let the chauffeur go, stop having champagne for dinner

every night.

You're kidding, but that's the general idea.

We're not exactly squandering our money right now.

June's right, though, Dave.

I'll bet there are a lot of little places

where you could save money.

Look, your mother gave me these recipes

to help cut down on the food bill.

Uh-uh.

Look out for the mock lamb chops.

Oh, you're a big help.

What do you say, Dave?

Are you willing to try?

I mean, just till we have enough saved to buy the lamp.

Sure, it's all right with me.

Uh, pardon me, is this a private discussion,

or can I say a few words?

No, come on in and join us.

It's an open forum.

Well, I'd like to direct my question to Mr. Nelson Sr.

That figures.

What's on your mind?

Well, I have a date tonight, and I'm about $5 short.

OK, don't forget where you got it.

- Thanks, Pop. - Good night.

Good night all.

Good night.

Good night.

Hey, I just got a wonderful idea.

And you can forget it.

I don't have $85.

Oh, I wish I could see it.

Well, you can take another look at it tomorrow.

Well, I'd hate to go through all the trouble of saving money

for something we don't really want.

I thought it was exactly what you wanted.

Well, it is, but I just want to take another look at it.

Can you see it?

No, it's not in the window.

Oh.

Oh, I hope nobody bought it.

Well, come on.

Let's go.

Hey, wait a minute.

Get the flashlight.

What for?

Maybe we can see it.

Well, you can't see through those shutters even

with a flashlight.

Well, maybe we could see through the side there.

This is ridiculous.

There.

What did I tell you?

I can see it.

Here, stand over here.

Isn't it beautiful?

Yeah.

Well, come on.

Wait a minute.

There's another nice one.

Nope, I like ours better.

It is worth saving for.

Yeah. Well, come on.

Let's go.

Don't be in such a hurry.

As long as we're here, we might as well look around and see

what else they have.

Hey, there's a cute one for the bedroom.

If a policeman sees us, we're liable to end up

with 10 days free room and board.

Hey, that's a way to save money.

Hi, sweetheart.

Morning, honey.

Breakfast is on the table.

Oh, good.

Guess what I dreamed about last night?

The lamp.

That wasn't too hard to guess, was it?

No, it wasn't.

Hey, I just had a horrible thought.

This isn't all we're having for breakfast, is it?

Well, yeah, toast and coffee.

Don't forget, we're trying to save money.

Yeah, but let's not overdo it.

Oh, and do you know what I just remembered?

I can save some money by getting day-old bread at the bakery.

Stale bread makes the best toast anyhow.

Oh.

What do I put on it?

Oh, here's some apple butter.

Thanks.

Tomorrow, you'll get an egg.

Oh, goody.

Gee, honey.

You said you were willing to try this.

I know.

I must admit, it sounded a lot easier last night right after

that big meal at Mom's.

Well, do you want some more coffee?

No, thanks.

I just hope I'm not too weak to drive to work.

Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

You won't be driving. - I won't?

No, I thought you could save some money if you took the bus.

The bus?

Yeah.

You can save on gas and parking, and it's almost as fast,

and you can read the paper on the way.

Well, at least we're still getting the morning paper.

Well, will you try it for a while?

Well, sure.

It's OK with me.

Only thing, though, with these small breakfasts,

I'm going to get awful hungry at lunch, and without the car,

I can't very well come home.

Here you are.

What's that?

Your lunch.

Nutritious and filling.

Do you want some more coffee, Dave?

Yeah, thanks, Mom.

Well, this is more like it.

Well, somehow I get a feeling that this

isn't exactly ethical.

Maybe not, but it sure tastes good.

Hurry up if you want me to drive you downtown.

I've got an early class. - OK.

I don't see why you can't take the bus.

Because I spent my bus fare to get over here.

What are you doing?

Checking food specials.

At all those markets?

Sure.

Each one has different specials.

Were you going to drive to all those places?

Of course.

I'm trying to save money.

Well, if you drive around to all those places,

you're going to spend more money on gas

than you'll save on groceries.

That's where you're mistaken.

According to the map, it's 1 and 1/10 miles

to Peterson's Market, then 2 and 1/2 miles to the next one,

and an even 3 miles to Wilpers, then 4/10 of a mile home.

Now, averaging 14 miles to a gallon,

it costs $0.16 for the gasoline and approximately $0.06

for oil and maintenance, a total of $0.22.

OK.

Wait a second.

Let me finish.

We'll save $0.16 on potatoes, $0.49 on soap,

$0.26 the roast, $0.04 on apples,

$0.19 on frozen vegetables.

That's $1.14.

That's $0.22, which gives us a saving of $0.92.

What do you have to say?

I'm still hungry.

I think I'll have another 2/3 of a cup of coffee

and a quarter of a piece of toast.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

You seem to be in a happy frame of mind tonight.

I am.

Very happy.

You better hurry and get cleaned up for dinner.

What's the rush?

We're having company.

Your mom and dad are coming over.

What are we going to feed them, mutton stew?

No, we're having steak, mashed potatoes, and pie a la mode.

Oh, gee, honey.

I'm sorry.

About what?

Well, about the lamp.

I had a hunch you'd have to throw in the towel.

Oh, you did, did you?

Well, smarty, you just take a look over here.

What's this?

You know darn well what it is-- the lamp.

- You're kidding. - No, I'm not kidding.

I just got home.

I haven't even had time to take it out of the boxes.

Let's go.

What are we waiting for?

Are you surprised?

Yeah, I sure am.

I never figured you'd save up the money this quickly.

Neither did I. Now let's see how it looks.

Gee, it looks great.

It does, doesn't it?

I still can't figure out how you

could save up that much money in such a short time.

Well, I did.

Do you want to see the checkbook?

No, I believe you.

I'll get it.

Hi. Come on in.

Hi, honey.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Daddy.

Hi.

Hi, Pop.

Hi, Dave.

Well, where is it?

Let's get rid of this old one and bring on the new one.

How do you like it?

Oh, it's just beautiful, June.

It sure is.

It's perfect in this room.

I'm so proud of both of you.

Oh, thanks, Mom, but June deserves all the credit.

She said she could do it, and she sure did.

Thank you.

Well, I better get cleaned up.

Can I take your wrap for you? - No, thank you, dear.

I think I'll leave it on for a while.

Oh, I forgot.

We can turn the heat on again.

Oh.

Oh, in that case, you can have it.

OK, I'll just be a minute.

- I'll get the salad ready. - I'll help you.

I'll read the paper.

That figures.

How did you ever save so much money so fast?

Oh, it really wasn't too difficult.

This doesn't give much of a light for an expensive lamp.

Oh, you can turn it up. It's three way.

Oh.

As if you didn't know.

This is fine.

This will cure your arthritis.

Want me to get it?

That's all right, Dad.

I'll get it.

I can't imagine who it is.

Oh, Mrs. Howard.

Hello, Ms. Nelson.

Oh, I didn't know you had company.

Oh, that's all right.

Is there something I can do for you?

Well-- I didn't want to mention it

because you've always been so prompt with your rental checks.

But I was just going over my accounts,

and I noticed that I haven't received a check from you

for this month.

Oh.

Possibly it was lost in the mail

or perhaps it was just an oversight.

No, I guess I just must have forgotten it when I made out

the other checks.

Gee, I'm awfully sorry.

It's perfectly all right.

There's no hurry.

Well, I'll have it for you tomorrow.

That won't be necessary.

As I say, there's no hurry.

Thank you very much, but we like to pay our bills on time.

Well, thanks for reminding me.

It's perfectly all right. Good night.

Good night.

Oh, dear.

What's the matter?

Anything wrong?

I'm afraid so.

Now I know how I got the money for the lamp so fast.

I forgot to pay the rent.

Oh, gee, that's too bad.

Oh, yeah.

This is awful.

The first time I pay the bills, and what do I do?

I forget the biggest one.

Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Those things happen all the time.

Are you sure you wouldn't like to float a small personal loan?

No thanks, Dad, I'll work it out somehow.

Only thing, though, would you mind

not telling Dave anything about it right now?

Oh, don't worry about that.

We won't say a thing.

No, of course not.

I'm going to tell him, of course.

It's just that I want to pick the right time

and do it very diplomatically.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Perhaps after dinner.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Hi.

Well, let's start the celebration.

There's nothing to celebrate.

I forgot to pay the rent.

I forgot to pay the rent.

That's how I saved the money for the lamp so fast.

Oh, gee.

Do you hate me?

Well, of course I hate you.

I may punch you right in the nose.

Don't worry about it, sweetheart.

Those things happen. - Of course.

Well, sure.

And besides, everything always seems

worse on an empty stomach.

Come on, how about the steaks?

Well, the lamp has to go back first thing in the morning.

Why don't we keep it and just take the money out

of our savings account?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Well, how about the steaks?

No, we said we weren't going to touch our savings account.

We're not going to.

I'll take it back first thing in the morning.

Well, I'm sure you must have saved up some money,

haven't you?

But not nearly enough.

Well, we could still do it.

It'll just take a little longer.

A lot longer.

But we can sure try.

Well, I hope you don't mind having stew for dinner, Dad.

Well-- stew?

I thought we were having steaks. - We were.

But now they're going to have to last us

for at least three nights.

Oh, well-- [laughs] let's--

let's get the stew on.

You look so sad, honey.

We'll get it back.

I know, but when?

Do you want to know how much money I really saved?

I figured it out this morning.

$8.25.

Gee, that isn't too much, is it?

No, it isn't.

I guess we just better get our money back and forget it.

Why don't we try to find a cheaper lamp?

I suppose we could.

Hey, here's one for $17.95.

Do you like it?

No, but it's $17.95.

Well, good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Nice to see you again.

Thank you.

What can I do for you?

Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to return this lamp.

Oh, is there something wrong with it?

Oh, no, it's just fine.

It's just that it doesn't fit in with our plan.

We discovered that we can't afford it.

Oh, I see.

Well, why don't you look around?

Perhaps you can find something else that's

more within your price range.

Oh, pardon me.

I'll be right back.

Good afternoon.

May I help you? - What do you say?

Do you want to see if there's anything else you like?

I really don't think I'd be happy with anything else.

I'd rather get a refund and wait till we could afford this one.

Well, it wouldn't hurt to look around.

Well, I've seen every lamp they have here.

Oh, OK.

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.

Oh, that's OK.

My girl's been taken sick, and it keeps me pretty busy.

Now then, do you see something else you'd like?

Or if not, I'd be glad to give you a refund.

Pardon me, did you say your regular girl is sick?

Yes, it's nothing too serious, but I'm

afraid she'll be out for about a week.

Do you have someone to take her place?

Well, no, not yet.

It's a little difficult to get anybody for such a short time.

Well, if you're looking for somebody,

I'd like to apply for the job.

That is, if my husband doesn't mind.

I'm completely inexperienced, but I'm willing and eager,

and I'd like to make some money to pay

for a lamp I can't afford.

Well, how soon could you start?

Well-- pardon me.

May I help you, madam?

I hate to complain, but I thought

we were going to ease up on the economy wave

now that you've taken the job. - Oh, well, it isn't that.

It's just a question of time.

I have to get to work.

OK.

We may starve, but we're going to get that lamp.

Well, bye, honey.

Bye. Here.

Here's your lunch.

I fixed it last night.

Very funny.

Where are the car keys?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I have to have the car today.

But here.

Here's your bus fare.

You wouldn't dare.

Well, I guess I can give you a lift to the store.

You better.

Hi, Mom. - Hi.

How's the job going?

Oh, fine, I guess.

At least I haven't broken anything yet.

Can I sell you a couple dozen lamps?

Oh, I wish you could.

You certainly have some beautiful ones here.

Hey, this one's familiar.

Yes, I put that one there so I can keep my eye on it.

Just think, at the end of the week, it'll be mine.

Oh, pardon me.

Can I help you?

Yes, I was looking for a lamp I saw in here a few days ago.

Oh, there it is.

Oh, isn't this lovely?

Yes, it certainly is.

But then they have lots of nice lamps around here.

Here's a pretty lamp.

Oh, yes, it is.

It's beautiful.

But I think I like this one better.

I'm Mrs. Lee.

I have an account here.

Would you have this packed for me, and I'll pick it up later.

Certainly.

You sold your lamp.

Well, you got to keep the customers happy, you know.

Besides, we got another one just like it in the back room.

Oh!

But you're being an awfully good sport about it.

Mr. Peters, I'd like to have you meet my mother-in-law, Mrs.

Nelson. - How do you do?

Well, how do you do, Mrs. Nelson?

Well, I guess I must have pretty good taste.

That lady just bought this lamp.

Oh, dear.

You said there was another one just like it in the back room.

Oh, there is, isn't there?

I'm sorry.

I sold it this morning.

I meant to tell you.

Oh, what a shame.

Oh, miss?

Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Lee?

Good afternoon.

I've been thinking it over, and that lamp

may be a little dark for my living room.

I think I'll take that other lamp after all.

Oh.

Dave?

Hi.

I see you got the lamp.

I sure have.

Let's set it up.

Get my coat off first.

You know, I've learned a lot about the value of money

these past few days.

Oh, I bet you have.

You not only have to work hard to get it,

but once you've earned it, it's important you spend it wisely.

Well, that's for sure.

And sometimes it's more economical in the long run

to spend a little more money and get what you really want.

Well, honey, you don't have to convince me.

I know $85 is a lot for a lamp.

But it's what we want, and it will last us a long time.

I knew you felt that way.

I just wanted to hear you say it again.

Hey, this isn't the same lamp.

No, it isn't.

But don't you like this one even better?

I thought you were sold on the other one.

Well, I was, but the more I got thinking about it,

it just didn't seem right for us.

And this one's much prettier and a lot bigger, too.

How much did it cost?

$125.

$125.

How are we going to raise that?

Oh, I've got that all figured out.

Oh, you're not going to work another week, are you?

Oh, no, but we'll just have to cut down a little bit,

but I'm sure we can save $5.

$5?

The difference between 125 and 85 is 40.

That's $40.

That's what I mean, $5 a week for eight weeks.

You're not mad at me, are you?

No.

But I think I'll have a little talk with my father

one of these days and find out how

he handles these situations.

Are you kidding?

We need another lamp like we need a hole in the head.

It's such a bargain.

At $85?

That's a lot of money.

Oh, don't be such a grouch.

We'll make it up in no time.

Come on, dinner's ready.

Oh, Harriet?

What are we having for dinner?

It's a surprise.

Oh. Steak?

No.

- Lamb chops? - No.

It's something special I got at the market.

It's called the economy TV dinner.

We have a whole house full of lamps.