Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

OK, lady.

Just keep your mouth shut and you won't get hurt.

Keep the gun on her, Lefty.

If she moves, let her have it.

Uh, Mom?

Oh!

I'm sorry.

Would it disturb you if I made a phone call?

No, go right ahead.

I'm glad to have your company.

This is a pretty spooky murder mystery.

Hello?

Yes, I was thinking of making reservations for dinner

there tomorrow night.

Could you tell me the price range of your steak dinners?

Oh, that much, huh?

Well, how about a la carte?

Oh, well, gee.

No, I'm not sure the time.

I'd better check with my wife first.

Thank you.

Check with your wife?

Well, that's what Pop always says when he's

trying to get out of something.

Who are you calling?

Oh, the Candlelight Room.

Oh, well, no wonder.

The prices are pretty steep there.

Who are you taking out to dinner?

Well, nobody, I'm afraid.

At least not over there.

Hey, do you know any place that's

nice and quiet, with a lot of atmosphere,

where a guy could take a girl to dinner for about $3.95?

Each?

No, altogether.

And including gas to get there.

Oh, good luck.

Wait a minute.

I know a place that has nice, big, thick steaks,

the cooking's great, and it has a nice, warm, homey atmosphere,

too.

Including free television after dinner.

Sorry.

Your father and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night.

Well, that's that.

I guess maybe I won't make a date after all.

You mean you haven't even got a date?

No, and it's a good thing.

I just found out I can't afford it.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Hello? - Hi.

- Oh, hi, Rick. - Oh, look who's here.

- Well, hi. - Hi, Mom.

What's the matter?

Can't you think of his name either?

Well, his face is familiar.

Now, that's a fine way to greet

a son who's come all the way over here just to say hello.

And to borrow something.

- Who told you? - Well, June.

She just called a few minutes ago.

She said if you got the card table,

would you borrow some chairs, too?

Oh. Is it all right, Mom?

To borrow the chairs? - Oh, sure.

I've got them out by the back door, stacked ready to go.

Oh, good.

June's having some girlfriends over for bridge.

Speaking of having people over,

when are you going to invite me over for dinner?

Any time. You name it.

- How about tomorrow night? - What's the rush?

Well, it's Saturday night, and I just thought I'd get a date

and take her someplace nice for dinner.

And you can't afford a restaurant.

Well, let's look at it this way.

It's either invite me to dinner or lend me $10.

- Now, there's a choice for you. - Yeah.

I think I'll invite him to dinner.

You'd better check with June first.

Yeah, that's a thought.

Well, now, just a second here.

Aren't you the master of your own household,

the lord of the manor?

Well, yeah, but June handles the budget.

Besides, maybe she has something planned for tomorrow

night. - Well, does she or doesn't she?

Well, I don't know.

Doesn't she check with you?

Well, yeah, of course she does.

Look, if I'm going to have an argument,

I'd rather go home and fight with June.

It's more fun making up.

- Hi. - Hi.

Can I help you with anything?

No, just tell me where you want these.

Oh, any place.

Why don't you put them up against the wall for now?

I'll find a place for them later.

What's that?

It's the oven.

It's the first time I tried the timer and it works great.

Oh, good.

Hey. There's nothing in there.

I know it.

I was just trying it out.

What are we having for dinner?

It's on the stove.

Oh, gee.

What is it?

Stew.

And if you don't watch yourself, you won't get any.

Boy, it smells good.

There's enough here for an army.

It's always better the second night.

In fact, I'm glad we're having stew.

That's Rick's favorite.

Oh, is he coming here for dinner?

Oh, yeah.

Not tonight, of course.

Tomorrow night.

I invited Ricky and a date.

That is, if it's all right with you.

Oh, sure.

Who's he bringing?

I don't know.

You know Ricky.

I don't think he knows either.

We can't give them stew for dinner.

Oh, why not?

It's just Ricky and a date.

Well, OK. If you think it'll be all right.

Oh, sure.

And may I offer you my congratulations?

You just passed the "surprise guest for dinner" test

with flying colors.

Thanks.

Oh, and, there's another little reaction test.

Oh, what's that?

Well, it involves a wife who wants her husband

to get up in the morning and do the marketing,

and he has a date to play golf.

Oh.

And who does he have a date with?

With my father and my brother.

Well, I guess I can't argue with that.

Oh, and there's just one more.

Even though this husband has to get up real early

in the morning to play golf, his wife

gets up, cheerful and happy, and fixes breakfast for him.

Well, can't win 'em all.

How does it look to you, Pop?

Uh.

Well, it breaks a little to the left.

And it breaks to the right as you get near the cup.

Uh, Pop?

Please, David, he's concentrating.

How do you figure you'll play it?

Looks like a straight putt to me.

Thanks, Pop.

Wait a minute, what are you doing?

I'm going to putt it. It's my ball.

Thanks for the advice.

Your ball's over here.

You were right, Pop.

It was a straight putt.

How about lining this one up for me, Pop?

You kidding?

You can sink that two footer standing on your head.

By the way, we're expecting you for dinner tonight.

Oh, yeah, I know. What time?

Oh, about 7:30.

Wait a minute, fellas.

Let me putt this, will you?

Good job, Pop.

Oh, thanks.

That gives me a five.

Well, should we give him this one?

Are you kidding?

Let him putt it out.

Boy, what you have to go through to win $0.50 around

here.

Oh, by the way, I have a date for tonight.

- Oh, good. - Yeah.

I'm bringing Mae Bellinger.

- Mae Bellinger? - Yeah.

C'mon, Dave. Putt it out.

You mean the Mae Bellinger I used to go with?

Yeah.

Dave.

Oh, gee, Rick, I don't think that's such a good idea.

What do you care? You're married now.

Well, that's just the point. You know a lot of girls.

Why do you have to bring one of my old girlfriends?

Come on, will you, Dave?

We're holding up a foursome.

I just don't think it's such a good idea.

Why not?

You're not going with her anymore.

Naturally not.

But what's June going to think when

you come walking in the house with one of my old girlfriends?

What difference does that make?

She's my date, not yours.

Uh, Dave.

I hate to get mixed up in this, but have you told June about--

Mae Bellinger.

Mae Bellinger?

Have you told June about it?

No, I don't think I ever mentioned her.

It just didn't occur to me.

She wasn't anything special.

Well, like that.

I mean, she's a real nice girl,

but it wasn't any big romance.

I just took her out quite a few times.

Uh, Dave.

At any rate, don't you think it might be a good idea

if you told June about her?

You know, avoid any misunderstanding?

Yeah, you might be right at that.

Can I help you, gentlemen?

Oh, yeah.

I'll have a cup of donuts, a couple of coffee--

I'll have a cup of coffee and about four of those donuts.

Four donuts?

Yeah, I didn't have any breakfast.

You mean June didn't get up and fix breakfast for you?

No.

It was kind of early and I didn't want to bother.

How about you, sir?

Well, I think I'll have four donuts and a cup of coffee,

too.

Same here, and I'm not even married.

- Hi. - Hi.

How was the game?

Oh, I've had better days.

Oh, that's too bad.

I hope you got some breakfast.

Yeah, sort of.

Good, because we haven't got anything for lunch.

I didn't get a chance to get down to the market yet.

Oh, that's OK.

I'm not very hungry anyway.

Did you talk to Rick about dinner?

I mean, are they definitely coming?

Yeah, he'll be here about 7:30.

Oh, good.

Who's he bringing?

Oh, a date.

Somebody.

I could have guessed that.

What's her name?

Her name is Mae Bellinger.

Do you know her?

No, I don't think so.

Do you?

Yeah.

What are you doing with the album?

Oh, I just thought I'd start to organize some

of those old pictures of yours.

Oh.

I thought maybe you'd like to throw some of them out.

Any ones in particular?

Yes.

All the ones of your old girlfriends.

Don't tell me I married a jealous woman.

Is there any other kind?

Who's this little blonde?

Oh, that's Betty somebody.

She used to go with Wally.

Well, how come you have a picture?

I don't know.

We just took a lot of pictures that day.

You can throw it out if you want to.

Well, I don't want to throw it out if you want to keep it.

No, I don't want to keep it. I don't care.

Just wondered why you never told me about her.

Probably because she was Wally's girl.

OK.

I believe you.

Here's a cute girl.

Who's she?

Oh, that's Joan somebody.

I met her at the beach one day.

So I see.

That's a cute bathing suit.

That is a bathing suit, isn't it?

I believe you could call it that.

Now, who's this redhead?

Gee, I don't know.

Looks familiar.

Oh, that's the girl I married.

And I'm glad.

So am I.

- Rick? - Oh, hi.

What are you doing over here?

I came over to talk to you.

Why didn't you call me up on the phone?

Well, June was still at the apartment

and I didn't want her to hear what I was saying.

And get your feet off my bed.

This isn't your bed anymore.

They're both mine now.

Unless what you're going to tell me

is a little more serious than I think.

I don't know how serious it is,

but I didn't tell June about Mae Bellinger.

You mean, June thinks I'm coming over there alone?

No, she knows you're coming over with a girl named

Mae Bellinger.

But she doesn't know I used to go with her.

Why didn't you tell her?

Well, if I told her now, she'd wonder

why I didn't mention it before.

Why didn't you?

Well, I just didn't think it was that important.

Well, what do you want me to do?

I just thought maybe you could suggest to Mae

that it might be a good idea if she didn't

mention the fact that we'd been out together a couple of times.

It was more than a couple of times, wasn't it?

Yeah, a few times, then.

OK.

I'll do something about it.

I'm sure June would understand, though.

It's only logical.

What's only logical?

That Mae should come before June.

- Hi, June. - Well, hi.

What are you doing here?

Oh, just picking up a few things.

Where's Dave?

Oh, he's home.

He wanted to do the marketing, but I kind of

think that's a woman's job, don't you?

Oh.

That is--

That is, until you get him trained a little better.

Besides, I just needed a few extra things for dinner

tonight. - Oh, yeah.

I understand you're having a couple of guests.

Yes, Ricky and his date.

I forget what her name is.

Mae Bellinger.

Oh, do you know her?

Well, I've met her a few times.

She's a very nice girl.

I'm sure she is.

I think Dave was a little afraid

you might not understand.

Well, what's there to understand?

Well, I mean the fact that he used to go out with her.

You mean Dave used to go out with the girl

that Ricky's bringing to dinner?

Well, yes.

Didn't he tell you?

No.

Oh.

Oh.

I seem to have spilled the beans.

Don't worry about it.

It happens all the time. - Oh.

I'll take care of it.

Well, thank you very much.

Gee, it's funny Dave didn't tell me about it.

Well, it probably just slipped his mind.

Or maybe I shouldn't have opened my big mouth.

That's OK.

I'm glad you told me, really.

Well, I hope so.

I'm sure he would have told you himself sooner or later.

Well, there's just one more thing.

Honestly, I hardly know the girl.

No, it's not about her.

That is, not directly.

I was just wondering, is there something

special David likes to eat?

Well, he likes almost everything.

I mean something unusual.

I really am a pretty good cook, you know.

And I think I'd like to show off a little tonight.

Well, let me think.

He loves beef stroganoff.

Have you ever made that?

No, I haven't.

But I'm sure I could learn in a hurry.

I'm sure you could.

Good. Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.

And good luck.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Oh, sorry.

Let me help you with those.

Holy smokes.

What's going on in here?

I cleaned the apartment.

You just cleaned it, didn't you?

I know, but I want it to look especially nice for tonight.

Well, I thought it looked fine.

Thank you, but you don't see it through a woman's eyes.

I guess you're right.

Where have you been?

Oh, I just went over to get a paper and talk to Rick.

Well, you just played golf with him this morning.

Oh, yeah.

I just wanted to check on a few things.

He'll be here at 7:30. - OK.

Oh, let me help you with that.

Oh, thank you.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Ricky.

Yeah, he just came in.

Thanks.

Honey?

Thank you.

Hello, Rick?

How are you?

Did you talk to Mae?

Oh, gee, that's great.

I sure appreciate it.

I hope I didn't put you on the spot.

Thanks a lot.

Then I'll see you about 7:30.

OK.

Bye.

What did Rick want?

He can make it, can't he?

Oh, yeah.

He was just checking.

He'll be here at 7:30.

It's kind of early to start the stew, isn't it?

Well, we're not having stew.

I changed my mind.

Why not?

Well, I just thought it'd be nicer

to have something a little more unusual.

Oh. Like what?

Oh, beef stroganoff.

What's wrong with stew?

Don't you like beef stroganoff?

Well, sure.

It's one of my favorite dishes.

I didn't know you could make it.

Well, I've never tried it before,

but it shouldn't be too difficult.

And I've got a good cookbook here.

I guess you know what you're doing.

You go on now.

I've got a lot to do before Mae--

before Mae and Ricky get here.

OK.

If you need me, just holler.

Oh, Dave?

Yeah.

How do you spell stroganoff?

- S-T-R-O-- - Oh, never mind.

I've got it.

Hey, here they come.

OK.

Gee, you look beautiful.

Thank you.

Hey, that's a new dress, isn't it?

Yes. I got it this afternoon.

It was on sale, so I thought it would be OK.

Oh, sure.

It looks great.

Your hair looks nice, too.

Why, thank you.

I'll get it.

Hi. - Hi.

Hi. Are we too early?

No, no. You're right on time.

Come on in. - You remember Mae.

Sure. Hi, Mae.

Hi, Dave.

It's been a long time.

It sure has.

Mae, this is my wife, June.

Hi.

Very nice to meet you. - Thank you.

Nice to meet you. - May I help you with your coat?

Oh, yeah.

It's nice to see you again, Dave.

How you been?

Just fine, thanks. How are your folks?

Fine. How are your folks?

The same.

Have you heard David's father is married to my mother?

And vise versa.

Yes, so I understand.

Here.

Let me take that.

Your apartment's just beautiful.

Thank you very much.

I'll hang this up for you.

Hey, these hors d'oeuvres look good.

Are they edible? - Sure.

Everything except the toothpicks.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Hey, wait a minute.

You'll spoil my debut as a host.

Allow me. - Will you excuse me?

I'm going to check on the dinner.

Oh, sure. Can I help you with anything?

Oh, no. Thanks.

Well, if you need any help, just yell.

OK.

How's it going?

Oh, pretty good, I guess.

I found this behind the couch over by the window.

Gosh.

I must have forgotten it.

Did anybody see it?

Not until I kicked it over.

Gee, I'm sorry.

That's OK.

Got a good laugh.

Hey, you're not going to eat any dinner.

You'll be too full of hors d'oeuvres.

Oh, don't worry about that.

I'm sure dinner will be ready in a minute.

Here. I made some more hors d'oeuvres.

Oh, good.

How's the dinner coming along?

Oh, it'll be ready in a little while.

Did you show Mae the wedding pictures yet?

Oh, yes.

They're wonderful.

Can't you sit down for a minute, hon?

No, I'd better get back in the kitchen.

Well, are you sure I can't help at all?

Oh, no. That's OK.

You entertain the fellas.

Yeah, I think that was the best party the fraternity ever

gave.

Well, I like beach parties anyway.

They're always a lot of fun.

Who was it who put David's bongo drums out on Seal Rock?

I don't know.

I never did find out.

I remember that.

He had to swim out and get them.

Are you having a good time?

Oh, sure.

We miss you.

- Do you really? - Yeah.

What's happening out here?

I'm getting dinner.

I know that.

I mean, are you having any difficulty?

It's getting a little late and everybody's kind of hungry.

Give them some more hors d'oeuvres.

Well, they're all gone.

And so are the peanuts and the candy.

Are you sure everything's OK?

Yes, yes.

It'll be ready in a minute.

Everything's just fine.

I was just asking.

Oh, no it isn't.

What's the matter, sweetheart?

I made a mess of everything.

And I wanted the dinner to be so nice.

What-- no you haven't.

It's all on the stove, isn't it?

Yes, but look at it.

The sauce is watery.

The meat's tough.

The rice is like rubber, and the salad, limp.

Oh, come on now.

It can't be that bad.

Oh, you're laughing at me.

No, I'm not, sweetheart.

Honest.

Everything's going to be fine.

Gee.

It sure smells good.

I never should have tried it in the first place.

Oh, come on now, honey.

Don't worry about it.

Oh, what are you two lovebirds doing?

No necking in the kitchen.

Dinner isn't quite ready yet.

Is there anything wrong?

Nothing, except that I can't cook beef stroganoff.

Well, maybe I can help, if you don't mind.

Well, thank you, but I don't think anybody

could help at this point.

Oh, it can't be that bad.

Let me take a look at it.

Well, the sauce is just a little thin.

Do you have any more sour cream?

Yes.

Could use just a little bit more seasoning.

Do you have any paprika?

Here.

But the meat seems so tough.

Well, just about five more minutes cooking

will take care of that.

What about the rice?

I'm afraid we'd better start over again with that.

Won't take long.

Well, that's a great dinner.

It sure was.

Yes, congratulations, Mae.

Don't be silly.

You had it all there.

I just sort of gave it that last little push.

Who cares?

It sure was good.

Thank you.

- Oh, can I help with anything? - Oh, no, thanks.

You go right ahead.

I'll just get the coffee.

Oh, excuse me a minute.

She sure is lovely, isn't she?

Yeah, she sure is.

Can I give you a hand?

No, thank you.

What's the matter?

You're not worried about dinner, are you?

Everything went fine.

Thanks to Mae.

Too bad you didn't marry her.

Then you could have beef stroganoff every night.

Marry who?

Mae, your old girlfriend.

She isn't my old girlfriend.

Come on, David.

I know all about it.

I've never been out with her in my life.

Oh, David.

Honest, you've got the wrong Mae.

That was Mae Bellinger.

Rick was going to bring her at first,

but then we decided it wouldn't be such a good idea.

So he asked somebody else.

Oh, sure.

And her name just happened to be Mae.

Well, it didn't just happen.

He had a heck of a time finding another girl named Mae.

I went to all this trouble for nothing?

No, it never hurts to let your husband know

you're a little jealous.

I am not jealous.

What about Mae Bellinger?

Oh, Rick called her up and postponed his date.

He's going to take her out next week.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

He just better not bring her over here.

Oh, so you are jealous.

Well, maybe just a little bit.

Good, I'm glad.

What about the coffee?

David?

June?

Everlovin'.

Everlovin'.

Everlovin'.

Everlovin'.

Everlovin', you're my one desire.

Everlovin', you set my soul on fire.

Everlovin' I'll be everlovin' you.

Whoa whoa.

Whoa.

Everlovin' I will treat you tender.

Everlovin', if you will surrender.

Everlovin', I'll be everlovin' you.

Whoa.

Whoa.

You're my darling, the only one I'm dreaming of.

I got to make you mine, because you're

the only one I ever loved.

Everlovin', say you'll leave me never.

Everlovin', I'll be yours forever.

Everlovin', I'll be everlovin' you.

Whoa.

Whoa.

You're my darling, the only one I'm dreaming of.

I got to make you mine because you're

the only one I'll ever love.

Everlovin', say you'll leave me never.

Everlovin', I'll be yours forever.

Everlovin', I'll be everlovin' you.

Whoa, yeah.

Everlovin', I'll be everlovin' you.

Whoa, yeah.

Everlovin', I'll be everlovin' you.

Whoa, yeah.