Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

- Hi, Oz. - Hi, Oz.

Oh, hi, fellas.

We thought we'd drop over and get our signals straight

for tomorrow. - Oh, no, you didn't.

You came over to help yourself to some of my favorite lures.

Now, Oz, you know us better than that.

We'll let you cart them up to the lake

and then we'll help ourselves.

I don't care what you do as long as we catch some fish.

Don't worry.

We will.

What time are you going to pick me up?

I thought you were going to pick me up.

I drove last time.

- And I drove the time before. - OK.

Then we'll toss for it.

OK.

I'll pick you guys up.

You're not going to use this one, are you?

You're darn right I am.

Why not?

The last time you used it, you scared all the fish away.

You guys are just jealous.

I've caught a lot of fish with this.

Well, anyway.

What time are you going to pick us up?

Oh, how about, say, 5:30?

5:30?

The fish won't even be up that early.

Well, it takes a couple of hours to drive up there.

Two hours to drive to Lake Warfield?

It only takes about 40 minutes.

Well, who said anything about Lake Warfield?

That's where we're going.

Well, since when?

When did we decide this?

On the way over here.

Well, thanks a lot.

Who cast my ballot?

What difference does it make?

Joe wants to go up there.

I want to go up there.

That's two out of three.

Besides, what's wrong with Lake Warfield?

Well, it's fine if you want to pick wildflowers.

But if you want to catch fish, I can think

of a lot of better places.

Name one.

Wait a second.

What are you doing?

The last time he suggested a place,

there wasn't even any water up there.

OK, you guys, but I happen to know

the most sensational fishing spot

in this section of the country.

Oz, we've already decided we're going to Lake Warfield.

They just stocked the place a couple of months ago,

and there's bound to be a lot of fish.

Well, I'd like to come home with some decent-sized fish

for a change. - Well, so would we.

That's why we're going to Lake Warfield.

Come on, Oz.

Don't be so stubborn.

Who's being stubborn?

You guys are the ones who are being stubborn.

Joseph, am I being stubborn?

Certainly not.

Am I?

Not in the least. There.

You see, Oz?

All I see is a couple of guys who

aren't going to catch any fish.

That's what you think.

Look, it's pretty obvious nobody's

going to convince anybody around here,

so why don't you guys go fishing where you want to go

and I'll go fishing where I want to go?

OK, we will.

- OK. - Now, wait a minute, Joe.

We can't do that.

We can't do what?

We can't let Oz get up at 5:30 in the morning

and drive up all alone to someplace

where there aren't any fish.

Aren't any fish?!

Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.

You guys, with your wives, of course,

are invited over to our house for a trout dinner tomorrow

night, and I'll supply the trout.

We accept.

What time?

Say, 7 o'clock?

You've got a deal.

OK.

Oh, and Oz.

Be sure you have lots of onions for the hamburgers.

Hi, boys.

Hi, Pop.

Say, do you guys have any plans for tomorrow?

Uh, no thanks, Pop.

No thanks, Pop.

What do you mean "no thanks, Pop"?

I haven't even told you what I have in mind yet.

Well, we know what you have in mind,

and we don't want to get up at 5:30.

Harriet--

No thanks.

I don't want to get up at 5:30.

I wish you people would let me ask the question before you

turn me down.

Look, why don't you just call up Joe and Darb and tell

'em you decided to go with them after all?

Well, you know I can't do that, Harriet,

after I made such a big issue about catching the trout

and inviting them over for dinner.

Whose dog is that?

I don't know, but I'm sure he doesn't

want to get up at 5:30 either.

Well, good night.

Oh, you're going to bed so early?

Yeah.

If I go to bed right now, I'll only

get about seven hours sleep. - Oh.

Well, good night, dear. - Good night.

I thought you went to bed.

Well, I did, but I can't get to sleep.

That dog has been barking for the last hour.

Oh.

That's on television.

I've been watching "The Hound of the Baskervilles."

It's a real live dog.

Turn it down a second.

Oh, yeah.

It's been going on like that for an hour.

I wonder who he belongs to.

Well, some people moved in that house

down the street the other day. It could belong to them.

Well, I wish they'd keep him quiet.

Oh, he'll probably quiet down.

Well, I hope so.

I have to get up in about six hours.

Hello. - Oz.

It's Joe. - Oh.

Hi, Joe.

Oz, do you have a dog?

You know we don't.

I hear one barking.

It sounds like it's coming from over your way.

Well, I think it belongs to the people that just moved in

down the street from us.

You're on the phone.

Sounds like it's right in your house.

No.

That's "The Hound of the Baskervilles."

What is this, some kind of a practical joke or something?

I tell you, it's not my dog.

I'm trying to get to sleep.

I'm going fishing in the morning.

Well, so am I. And stop being such a grouch.

Don't need to be quiet.

I'm wide awake.

That's a shame.

All I can hear is that darn dog barking.

I'm amazed you can hear anything.

Think I ought to go over there?

Where?

Over to their house.

Oh, you can't do that.

I can't go over and ask them to stop their dog from barking?

Well, they might be asleep.

Are you kidding?

With all that going on?

Well, now, that's not very nice.

We don't even know the people. Come on.

You get to sleep.

We'll find out.

Oh, that's beautiful.

Now he's bringing in reinforcements.

I'll never get to sleep.

Harriet?

Hmm?

I'm going over there and see what I can do about this.

OK, dear. Good luck.

Catch lots of fish.

Sleeps through anything.

Hi there, boy.

You've been doing all that barking?

Have you been doing all that barking, huh?

Hey, you're a nice fella.

- Yes? - Good evening.

My name is Nelson. I'm your neighbor.

I live just down the street.

Oh, good evening.

I'm Mrs. Frazer.

I'm glad to see I didn't wake you up.

Oh, no, no.

I was watching "The Late Show."

Oh.

Well, your dog was barking, and I thought

maybe something was wrong.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I've tried everything, but he just won't stop.

I hope he hasn't been disturbing you.

Oh, well, it isn't that, but a couple of my neighbors

are going fishing tomorrow, and you

know how it is when you have to get up early in the morning.

Hiya, boy.

Oh, his name's Charlie.

Oh, hi, Charlie.

Well, I guess it's the new surroundings.

And I think he probably misses my husband.

He's away on a business trip.

Oh, I see.

Charlie's always been kind of a man's dog.

Oh, yeah.

Well, he seems to be quiet now.

I guess that must be it.

Well, I hope he stays that way.

He's usually very well-behaved.

All right, boy.

Well, I guess I'll be going.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, and thank you for stopping by.

You bet.

Now, Charlie, cut it out.

Charlie, stop that.

Stop that, Charlie.

Now, you cut it out, Charlie.

You cut it out now.

You be a good boy.

No, no, no.

You stay there now and be a good boy.

He seems to like you.

Yeah. Well, good night.

Good night.

- Ozzie?

Yeah.

Where have you been?

I went over to see about the dog.

Oh.

Well, I guess you're right.

He seems to have stopped barking.

Uh, well yeah.

Well, you better get to bed.

You're not going to get any sleep at all.

Harriet, we have a little problem.

What do you mean?

What are we going to do about Charlie?

Want some more hot chocolate?

No, thanks.

I have to get up to bed.

How about Charlie?

Oh, he's had enough.

You know, I realize it's late, and I may be a little foggy,

but I still don't understand how we ended up

dogsitting for Mrs. Frazer.

Well, it just seemed like the simplest solution.

As I say, old Charlie's only happy

when there's a man around, so I agreed

to keep him here until morning.

If he stayed over there, he'd just bark all night.

Well, I've got to get up to bed.

What about your friend?

Oh, I think he's OK now.

Put him out in the backyard.

Come on, Charlie.

Don't forget to lock the gate.

I locked it when I came back in.

Good night, Charlie.

See you in the morning.

If you sleep fast, you can still get about four hours.

Oh, great.

Maybe it's too cold out there.

Will you let him in?

I'll get this.

Hello?

Would you keep your dog quiet?

It's not my dog.

Well, then somebody over there has a terrible cold.

I'm keeping a neighbor's dog.

Well, do something, will you?

Will you relax, Joe?

He's sitting right here beside me,

and he's nice and quiet now.

Listen, you can hear him breathing.

Breathe for Joe.

Here's some water in case you get thirsty.

And there's a nice soft blanket, so you

go to sleep like a good boy.

Good night.

I think he'll be OK now.

You hope.

Boy, I'm tired already.

I'll bet you are.

Why don't you just forget about fishing tomorrow?

Oh, Harriet.

I can't do that.

Well, the boys just drove up.

Oh yeah.

Oh great.

OK, Joe.

I hear him.

- 'Night, Pop. - 'Night, Pop.

Good night, fellas.

Now, look, Charlie.

You just lie there nice and quiet like a good boy.

I have to get up in about 3 and 1/2 hours.

Now let's all get some sleep, huh?

Good luck.

Charlie.

Are you sure you're nice and comfortable, Charlie?

Ozzie.

5:30.

I can't believe it.

You didn't have to get up. - I did, too.

You left the alarm on upstairs.

Oh.

Gee.

I'm sorry.

Look at him.

Last night, we couldn't make him go

to sleep, and now look at him. - Well, he's tired.

You kept him awake all night.

If it's all the same to you, I'm going back to sleep.

Have a good time.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, hiya, Barry.

What are you doing up so early in the morning?

I always get up early.

Oh.

Well, I guess it's OK if you're used to it.

Mr. Nelson?

Yeah?

You look terrible this morning.

What happened?

Oh. Well, I didn't get much sleep last night.

Are you just getting home?

No, I'm going fishing.

Why don't you go back to bed?

Well, it's kind of a long story.

See, I have a bet with Mr. Randolph and Mr. Darby.

I promised to bring them back a trout dinner.

They were going fishing, too.

That is, if they got up for it.

They left a few minutes ago.

Oh.

Well, then I guess they managed to get up on time.

How come you didn't go with them?

Well, they wanted to go to Lake Warfield,

and I wanted to go to Shadow Lake.

See, the fishing's better up there.

Well, I'd better get going.

I hope you catch some fish before you fall asleep.

Oh, thanks.

I think I will.

I'm wide awake now.

- Good luck, Mr. Nelson. - OK.

So long, Barry.

Bye.

Charlie.

Now, who let you out of the house?

As if I didn't know.

Stay there, boy.

Stay there.

Morning.

Good morning.

A cup of black coffee, please.

OK.

You going fishing?

Well, I am if I can stay awake.

You're not the only one having that trouble.

When did they come in here?

Oh, about 10 minutes ago.

Do you know them?

Well, they look kind of familiar.

Do you think I ought to wake them up?

Oh, no. I wouldn't if I were you.

They probably need to sleep.

Thank you. - Thank you.

Bye.

Joe.

Oh, I must have dozed off.

Ha!

Me, too.

Well, come on.

Let's get going.

I know this sounds crazy, but I thought

I heard that darn dog barking again.

Me, too.

But I thought I was dreaming.

You don't suppose we could hear him all the way up here,

do you?

Joe, we're 20 miles from home.

Well, just the same, he sure has a loud bark.

Yes, sir.

May I help you?

Yes.

Do you have any-- Do you have any trout?

Yes, sir.

Well, I'd like a couple of nice ones that--

They look like they've just been caught?

Yes.

Don't worry, sir.

We handle this problem all the time.

We won't say a word.

I'll try to find you a couple of nice ones.

Oh, thank you.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, hi there, Barry.

Did you catch a lot of fish?

Well, not too many.

How many did you catch?

Well, none.

I would have, except I fell asleep

and somebody stole my fishing pole.

How do these look?

Oh, very nice.

Do you have your creel with you?

No, it's out in the car.

Oh well.

I'll just wrap them in plain paper.

Thank you.

Mr. Nelson?

Yeah?

Are you going to make believe you caught those?

Well, not exactly.

That is, see, actually, my contention

was that the fishing was better at Shadow Lake, which it really

is.

Pardon me.

Pardon me.

Would you mind changing my order, please?

I'd like to have 3 pounds of ground round instead.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Nelson?

Yes?

I'd like to shake hands with an honest man.

Oh.

Well, thank you, Barry.

Me, too, sir.

Oh, thank you.

Good show.

You know, for a guy who didn't get any sleep last night,

you certainly look well rested.

Oh, thanks.

Well, I took a shower.

Besides, don't forget I slept all day.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Hi, Dave.

- Did you take Charlie back? - Yeah.

Mrs. Frazer said thanks a lot for taking care of him.

Oh.

I sure hope he doesn't bark all night again tonight.

Well, she said she was sure he wouldn't.

Mr. Frazer's coming home tonight.

Oh, that's good.

Well, thanks a lot, Dave.

OK.

Are you sure hamburgers will be all right for dinner?

Are you kidding?

They'll be too good for those guys.

Gee, I sure wish I'd caught some fish.

I'll bet I would have too if I hadn't fallen asleep.

- Oh, here they are.

I'll get it.

I hate to face them.

I must admit, I'm not a very good loser.

- Well, who is? - Hi.

Hi, Dave.

Hi, Ozzie, Harriet.

Hi, Oz.

OK, let's see them.

See what?

All those big fish you caught.

We're having trout for dinner, aren't we?

That's what you promised.

OK, you guys are talking so big.

How many fish did you catch?

They caught three.

They're home in our freezer in one ice tray.

Clara...

Somebody's at the back door. Pardon me.

Well, come on in and sit down.

You know something, Joe?

I'll bet he didn't catch a darn thing.

I'll bet he didn't even go up there.

Oh. Hi, Mrs. Frazer.

Come on in.

Oh, thank you, but I have to get right back.

My husband's waiting for his dinner.

What's this?

Well, it's a little thank-you gift for taking such good care

of Charlie. - Oh.

That wasn't necessary.

Oh, what beautiful trout!

Where'd you get these?

My husband caught them.

He loves to fish, and he managed to sneak away for a few hours

while he was on his trip.

Oh, they're just beautiful.

Thank you so much. - Well, it was a pleasure.

Goodbye, Mr. Nelson. - Goodbye.

OK, Oz. Where are the fish?

You mean the hamburgers.

Wait a second.

Holy smokes!

Doggone you, Joe!

I told you we should have gone with Oz.

What are you talking about?

You're the one who insisted on going up

to that miserable mudhole. - Fellas--

Oz. Come on.

Tell us, where'd you get the fish?

Well, somebody gave them to me.

OK.

Very funny.

Come on, where'd you go?

Well, it's kind of a long story.

Did you go up there alone?

No.

This big shaggy dog went up there with me,

and we sat out in the sun for a while, and we both fell asleep.

OK, you fellas, out of the kitchen.

I have to finish dinner.

Come on, Joe.

We're getting nowhere fast.

Oh, he's a nice fella.

He'll tell us later.

Would you put these on the fire, please?

Ozzie?

Yes, dear?

Never mind the "yes, dear."

Where'd you get these?

Mrs. Frazer's husband caught them,

and she just brought them over and gave them to me

for taking care of Charlie.

Well, wasn't that nice of her?

Did you tell Darb and Joe?

Well, I started to--

I don't blame you.

Do you think you can get

them ready in time for dinner?

Oh, I think so.

Well, what are we going to do with 3 pounds of ground round?

Oh.

Well, why not?

He earned it.

Coming right up, Charlie.

You know, from now on, this is going

to be my favorite shaggy dog story.