Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie, here's Harriet, here's David, and here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

Well, look what we've got here.

Yeah, it looks like the finals of the campus beauty contest.

Yeah, and they all look like winners.

Which one would you vote for?

Whichever one I could get a date with.

You've got a date with me tonight and don't forget it.

Oh, hi there, Ginger, honey.

I didn't recognize you there for a minute.

On second thought, maybe we don't have a date.

So what are we girls discussing this afternoon?

Well, if you must know, we were talking about George.

Well, what about him?

He took Susan to the Rendezvous Room last night.

How come you guys never take us any places like that?

Well, for one thing, I've never heard of it.

Probably because it isn't cheap.

Susan says it's the most beautiful place in town.

They have a tremendous crystal chandelier

and a big open fireplace.

And all the waiters are dressed up in red coats.

I'd sure like to go there.

So would I.

And they have a nice little orchestra for dancing, too.

What else is new?

Well, they got a new fry cook down at the Beanery.

No kidding?

I sure would love to go there.

OK, then it's a deal.

Everybody down to the Beanery tonight.

We're talking about the Rendezvous.

The Rendezvous?

Ever heard of a place called the Rendezvous?

Not me.

No, but I think I hear the bell ringing

for our next class, though. - I think you're right.

Let's go. See you later, girls.

So long, girls.

Bye.

Well, there goes the last of the big spenders.

They didn't seem to go for the idea.

I really didn't think they would, but it was worth a try.

Say, by the way, who are George and Susan?

My mother and father.

How about those golddiggers, hinting around

for us to take them to some expensive place

like The Rendezvous.

Yeah.

You know, if you don't watch those girls,

they'll really take advantage of you.

Hey, what happened to the chicken

that was in here yesterday?

Oh, sorry, old man, we had it for dinner last night.

Oh, here's some cake.

This will be enough.

- Hi, fellas. - Oh, hi, Mr. Nelson.

Hi, Pop.

What's going on, or is this a private discussion?

No. Nothing like that.

We were just talking about how much it costs to take girls out

these days.

Oh, gee, I'm awfully sorry.

I'm a little broke myself this week.

Oh, don't get nervous, Pop.

This isn't a touch.

Oh, that's good.

Say, have you ever heard of a place called

The Rendezvous, Mr. Nelson?

Yeah.

Seems to me I have.

From what I understand, if you guys are going over there,

you better take plenty of money with you.

Not much chance of my going there.

Oh, me either.

When I go out on a date, about all I can afford

is a movie and a hamburger.

And most of the time he goes Dutch.

The trouble with you guys is your dates

are too involved these days.

Well, in what way?

Well, you're always worried about going someplace special.

When I used to go on a date with a girl,

I'd just go over to her house and play some records

or take her for a walk or something like that.

Then who would you take out the next time?

You know what I mean.

There are lots of things you can do without spending

too much money. - Like what?

Oh, wait a minute while I get a pencil and paper.

Like what, Pop?

Well, you fellas probably aren't

interested in the things we used to be interested in.

Well, sure we are, if it'll save us some money.

Well, we used to go for walks.

Oh, I guess I mentioned that.

And we used to go to the museum or sit around, a bunch of us,

and just talk.

And sometimes we'd make fudge or have a taffy pull,

or even just stay home and put some records on and dance.

Well, I'm with you, Pop, but I doubt if you

could convince the girls.

Well, you'd be surprised how much fun you can have.

It's just a matter of people enjoying each other's company.

Say, Mr. Nelson, would you be willing to make that speech

at a few of the sorority houses?

Well, first of all, how about giving me a piece of cake?

Oh, sure, here, have some of mine.

I agree with your father.

You don't necessarily have to spend a lot of money

to have fun.

Well, times have changed since you were in school, though,

Mom.

Everything was cheaper in those days.

Including the fellas.

Wait a second, we weren't a bunch of cheapskates, you know.

We used to have some pretty big times.

We sure did.

We never missed an opening night at Palisades Amusement Park.

Your mother's kidding, but that

was a pretty expensive date.

Where'd you get the money, Pop?

Well, that's where we were a little more

sensible than you guys.

We used to save up for the really big dates.

That's right, by taking us on all those cheap dates

in between.

Wait a second.

Oh, I'm not complaining, dear.

In fact, as I recall, the girls were the ones

who used to suggest it.

Hey, maybe you're the one who should give the talk

at the sorority houses, Mom.

All our girls ever suggest is something like The Rendezvous

Room.

Well, you could take them there.

Well, sure, but we'd like to leave without having

to wash the dishes.

Well, why don't you save up your money for a few weeks?

Well, yeah, but you can't expect the girls just

to sit around doing nothing in the meantime.

Oh, Mom doesn't mean not to take them out.

She just means to take them on some of those cheap dates

that Pop used to specialize in.

Just a second, Dave--

No offense, Pop. We're on your side.

Well, only thing, though, will it work?

I have a hunch the girls are going to think

we're a bunch of tightwads.

Well, let them in on it from the beginning.

Tell them that you're saving up for a big date.

I'll bet they go along with it. - I think your mother's right.

It's worth a try.

Well, maybe.

Why don't we talk it over with them tomorrow?

It's OK with me.

I'm sure they'll understand.

Just see how little money you can spend on dates for a while.

Make a game of it.

Well, I just hope the other team is willing to play.

How about the zoo?

That doesn't cost anything. - Yeah, the zoo.

Put that down, Wally. - Now, wait a minute.

If you go to the zoo, you got to buy peanuts

to feed to the elephants.

Well, don't give them to the elephants.

Make it a lunch date and eat them yourself.

- Yeah. - Are you kidding?

How cheap can you get?

Well, that's the idea, to save money.

OK, the zoo. Any other ideas?

Let's see what we got.

The museum, the planetarium, listening to records,

window shopping-- - After the stores are closed.

Naturally.

Well, I guess that's about it.

Gee, this stuff doesn't sound very exciting.

Hey, how about going down to the Emporium

and riding the escalators?

Well, it was just a thought.

I guess this is about it.

Well, now all we have to do is go over to the sorority house

and tell the girls. - Wait a minute.

Why don't we wait till tomorrow?

I got a big date tonight.

Where are you going?

Well, I'm not sure yet.

Well, I'll tell you where you're going.

You're going to pick her up and then take a long walk

and wind up at the Penny Arcade.

Then on the way home, you're going

to stop by the candy machine for a couple of chocolate bars.

Maybe I'd better make believe I'm sick and call off the date.

Maybe I'll call mine off, too.

Well, listen, fellas, if we can get a couple of the guys

to go along with this, we can make this thing work out.

Yeah, Dave's right.

But remember one thing, when we're

explaining our little plan to the girls,

don't mention the word cheap, anybody.

Yeah, we don't want them to get the wrong idea.

Well, what are we going to say?

Well, we just tell them we're going

to take them on dates that are a little less expensive.

Or a little more inexpensive.

Why don't we just tell them it'll be a lot of fun?

Well, it will be.

It'll be a lot of fun.

And very cheap.

Just remember the goal we have in mind.

Yeah, big night at The Rendezvous.

Maybe we better set a definite date for that.

What's the matter? Don't you trust us?

Well, we want to.

Well, what do you think of the idea?

I don't think it sounds too bad.

I think it sounds like a lot of fun.

- Me, too. - Yeah, me, too.

Well, I'll go along with it, although it won't

be much of a change for me.

Well, what do you mean, honey?

Now when we go Dutch, it won't cost you a cent.

I guess we all agree.

OK, we'll save up our date money

for a big night at The Rendezvous.

- Hi, fellas. - Hi, Wally.

Where you been?

Oh, Ginger and I had a date.

We went to a play. - A play?

Yeah, her father gave us a couple of tickets.

Where you guys been?

The planetarium.

For the fourth time.

Oh, I must say, the girls are sure being good sports

about this whole thing.

Yeah, they sure are.

Say, Jack, would you bring me a small bag of potato chips?

Sure.

And you better put a hamburger with them.

- OK. - A hamburger?

Yeah, I'm hungry.

I haven't had anything to eat since dinner.

I thought we were supposed to be saving our money.

Well, I am. I took Ginger right home.

I didn't buy her anything to eat.

You know, I'm kind of hungry myself.

Jack, you want to make that two hamburgers?

Right.

Make one for me, too, will you, Jack?

OK.

Oh, are you going out?

Yeah, I've got a date.

- Isn't that a new sweater? - Yeah.

It was on sale at the campus shop.

I just couldn't resist it.

Oh, it's very nice.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

Well, I'll see you later.

- Goodnight, dear. - Hi.

- Hi. - Hey, wait a second.

Where are you going with my sweater?

Your sweater? I just bought it.

It was on sale at the campus shop.

I know.

I was just over there, too.

What else did you get?

Oh, nothing much, just some socks and a sport shirt.

Oh, they're real nice, Rick.

Oh, thanks.

Well, I better go up and get dressed.

I'll see you later, Dave. - OK.

Night, Mom. - Good night, dear.

Good night, Pop.

Good night.

7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

Hey. - What's the matter?

Lock all the doors.

Don't anybody move.

What's the trouble now?

I'm supposed to have $16.

Are you accusing your own fraternity brothers

of stealing your money?

All I know is I'm missing $5 out of my brand new wallet.

Oh, I forgot. I bought this.

That's where the money went.

I thought we were supposed to be saving our money.

You guys realize, of course, that this

is the weekend we're supposed to take the girls

to The Rendezvous Room.

- Is that this weekend? - Of course, it is.

I don't have enough money.

I'll get it.

You'd have enough money if you hadn't gone to the malt shop

practically every day. - What do you mean?

You were down there every night, too.

So was everybody else.

I thought we had this all figured out.

What happened?

Well, it kind of looks like we've

been saving money on the girls and spending it on ourselves.

Maybe we better postpone this Rendezvous business

for a couple of weeks till we can save some money.

Well, that's fine except that they

think we've already saved it.

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't we just forget to make the reservations

till it's too late? Then we'll have to postpone it.

Yeah, that sounds good.

That's the best idea yet.

OK, then it's all agreed.

We'll accidentally on purpose forget

to make the reservations.

I'm afraid you're a little late.

What do you mean?

Well, that was Judy on the phone

and she said the girls have made reservations

for the whole gang for Saturday night at The Rendezvous Room.

Any more suggestions?

Yeah, let's have lunch.

You guys hitting the old books, huh?

- Yeah. - How's it coming?

Oh, not so good.

Anyway I figure, I still don't have enough money

to go The Rendezvous.

Well, maybe I can help you out.

Would you like me to float a small loan?

I suppose we'd have to pay you back.

Well, naturally, but I'm willing to give you

a reasonable rate of interest.

I'm afraid that wouldn't help too much, Pop, unless you

can float the whole fraternity.

You know, I'm beginning to wonder whether this was

a good idea in the first place.

Don't look at me.

It was Pop's idea to go on the cheap dates.

Well, yeah, but not to make that bargain with the girls.

That was your mother's idea.

What was my idea?

Well, for the boys to enter into that agreement

with the girls.

Which we can't keep.

Well, as your father would say,

there was nothing wrong with the play.

You guys just fumbled the ball.

Have you got any ideas as to how we

can pick it up and run with it?

Since the truth is that you couldn't save the money,

why don't you just tell that to the girls?

Are you kidding?

We'd be in worse shape than we are now.

How do you figure that?

Well, we wouldn't have any money

and we wouldn't have any girls either.

Well, I don't agree with you.

I think the girls would appreciate

being told the truth.

Just tell them you tried and you couldn't save the money.

Just listen to your mother, boys.

Don't forget she was a girl herself once, you know.

Now remember, we're just going to tell them the truth,

that we couldn't save the money.

Are we going to tell them we spent

all the money on ourselves?

Oh, I don't think that's necessary.

There's no sense confusing them with a lot of details.

OK, then we'll just go in and tell them most of the truth.

Hi, fellas.

Hi Judy.

Could we come in and talk to you?

Sure. Come on in.

Come on, Wally.

Maybe I better wait in the car and keep the motor running.

Come on.

So to make a long, painful story short,

somehow we just couldn't save enough money.

Oh.

Well, I guess if if you tried, you tried.

Remember now, no violence.

Relax, will you? We're letting you off the hook.

You are?

Well, it looks like it.

Actually, we don't have much choice.

I guess we'd better cancel the reservations.

Gee, we're awful sorry.

Maybe we can make it some other week?

Well, to tell you the truth, we were all talking a while ago

and we've had a lot of fun on those crazy dates.

Yeah, we have.

You, too, Ginger?

Well, I guess so.

At least I saved a lot of money.

Well, I guess we've all had a lot of fun.

Wait a minute.

If I've saved a lot of money, how come you haven't?

Well, I guess I just haven't saved enough.

Here, if you don't believe me, take a look in my wallet.

See?

Wait a minute.

Let's take a look at that wallet.

Oh.

Well, come on, fellas.

I think we better be going now.

Hold it, Fatso.

What is it, honey?

Where did you get the money for the new wallet?

Well, I saved it.

Come on, Rick. - I'm right behind you.

Rick?

Isn't that a new sweater you have on?

Oh, yeah, I guess it is.

They're on sale down at the campus shop, this week only.

Come on, fellas, let's go.

I'm beginning to see where the money went.

Hey, come back here.

Where'd you spend all your money, Sport?

Oh, no place. I just got my brakes fixed.

- Your brakes? - Yeah.

Isn't my life more important than going to The Rendezvous?

Do you want us to take a vote on that?

Well, we'll see you later, girls.

Don't forget to cancel the reservations.

We're not canceling any reservations.

What do you mean?

We carried out our part of the bargain

and now you fellas are going to carry out yours.

We're going to The Rendezvous.

We'll expect you at 8 o'clock sharp.

Tonight.

And bring money.

Well, good bye, girls.

For a couple of guys who are embarking

on a difficult mission, you look pretty good.

Oh, thanks, Pop. I don't feel too good.

Did you get enough money together?

Well, frankly, no.

Well, I'm still willing to lend you a couple of bucks.

Well, thanks, Pop, but this is bigger than both of us.

It's practically the whole fraternity that's in trouble.

What are you going to do about it?

Well, we thought we'd go over to the sorority

and try to talk the girls into going someplace

else like a movie or something.

Oh, who's that?

That's probably the rest of the guys.

We're going down there in a caravan.

Nobody wants to show up alone.

Good luck, boys, wherever you go.

- Thanks, Pop, we'll need it. - Good night, Mom.

Good night, dear.

Good night.

Hi, fellas, come on in.

- Hi. - Hi, girls.

You look very nice tonight. - Thank you.

So do you. - Thank you.

Well, we're ready for The Rendezvous.

Shall we get started?

Well, we have something to tell you.

Go ahead, Dave.

Well, we've selected Wally as the spokesman for our group.

Wally?

Oh, no, you don't.

Well, somebody say something.

Well, to put it briefly, we still

don't have enough money to take you to The Rendezvous.

Oh, really?

Well, we refuse to accept your explanation.

Well, there's nothing to refuse.

We just don't have the money.

We've been promised an evening at The Rendezvous tonight

and that's what we're going to have.

Somehow, I don't think they're getting the message.

Oh, we got the message all right,

but we're still going to The Rendezvous.

Well, have a nice time, honey.

Oh, well, you're going with us.

- Huh? - We are?

That's right.

We decided if you fellas couldn't take us,

we'd take you.

Hey, we accept.

No, wait a minute, Wally.

We can't do that. - Well, of course, you can,

Sure, we can.

Wally.

Open the doors, girls.

Welcome to The Rendezvous.

What's this?

It's our version of The Rendezvous.

Come on in and see.

Well, here it is, fellas.

It has everything we advertised, a cozy fireplace beautifully

decorated, a big crystal chandelier,

and gorgeous waitresses also beautifully decorated.

Boy, this must be the place!

Just sit down, Buster, and keep your eyes on me.

Why don't we all sit down?

Good idea.

Chateaubriand.

I think I'll take that.

Lobster thermidor, that's for me.

Boneless squab with wild rice.

What are you girls having?

Well, why don't you order for us.

All right.

That'll be Chateaubriand for two and two lobster thermidors.

Wally?

Two boneless squabs with wild rices.

Very good.

Sheila, six hamburgers over here.

Hamburgers?

Just what I wanted.

I thought there was a catch to this.

Wally, would you take care of that?

Oh, sure.

Why don't we hear the other side?

It's a pleasure, Mademoiselle.

This was a wonderful idea, girls.

Yeah, you sure took us off the hook.

Well, I have to admit, we were a little mad at first.

But then we realized we weren't so good at saving money either.

Well, I sure got to hand it to you girls,

you're a good sport, Ginger.

Let's hear it for Ginger.

For she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good--

What's this? - It's the check.

What do you think it is?

Don't you guys even want to pay for the hamburgers?

Oh, well, sure.

Oh, naturally.

Let's see, three boys and three girls, and one sixth of that,

and my share is-- - Wally.

OK. OK.

I'll pay it now. We'll settle up later.

There's no hurry, dear. Anytime.

Tomorrow is OK.

Have you got the money, Rick?

Boy, this place has just about everything.

Oh, wait a minute, you haven't seen our main attraction.

- What's that? - The entertainment.

Come on.

Oh, this is not my idea of entertainment.

Are you kidding?

Look at Rick.

Well, I'm sorry, but I fail to see anything funny around here.

I want to walk you, talk with you all about love.

'Cause there's no better time then tonight

when I get you under the stars above.

Put your lips to mine with your kiss of fire.

Oh, yeah, just to be with you day and night, my one desire.

I want a date with you would be great with you, baby, tonight.

When I get you in my arms tonight, everything's

going to turn out right.

Put your lips to mine with your kiss of fire.

Oh, yeah, just to be with you, baby, is my one desire.

All the times I've wasted, baby, be my steady date.

Want to make up for lost time tonight,

and I just can't wait to put your lips to mine

with your kiss of fire.

Oh, yeah.

Just to be with you, baby, tonight is my one desire.

All the times I've wasted, baby, be my steady date.

Want to make up for lost time tonight,

and I just can't wait to put your lips to mine

with your kiss of fire.

Oh, yeah.

Just to be with you, baby, is my one desire.

Just to be with you, baby, tonight is my one desire.

just to be with you, baby, tonight is my one desire.

I'm in love.

I'm in love.

I'm in love.

I'm in love.

I walk around with my heart in pain.

This feeling I can't explain.

Such a pounding in my brain.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah, I'm in love.

In love.

I'm in love.

I get excited just to hear your name.

People think that I'm insane.

They don't know that you're to blame.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah.

I'm in love.

In love.

I'm in love.

I find myself just walking the floor.

Never felt like this before.

Yes, you cast your spell on me, and I'm as happy as can be.

I'm with you, baby, through and through.

No matter what you say or do.

You know my heart belongs to you.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah.

I'm in love.

In love.

I'm in love.

I find myself just walking the floor.

Never felt like this before.

Yes, you cast your spell on me, and I'm as happy as can be.

I'm with you, baby, through and through.

No matter what you say or do, you

know my heart belongs to you.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah.

I'm in love.

In love.

I'm in love.

In love.

I'm in love.

In love.

I'm in love.