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1
00:00:06,451 --> 00:00:09,935
Dave, what are we doing
in this ritzy store?
2
00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:13,490
Smells like trust funds
and white-collar crime in here.
3
00:00:13,962 --> 00:00:14,746
I know,
4
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:16,086
but I need some
new shirts for work,
5
00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:19,264
and Haberdashery L.A.
is the hot new place.
6
00:00:19,349 --> 00:00:20,905
They say it's for the modern,
7
00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:22,889
yet classic gentleman.
8
00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:25,219
Then what are you doing here?
9
00:00:26,709 --> 00:00:28,210
Calvin, what about this?
10
00:00:28,982 --> 00:00:32,148
I love the story that hat
is telling on you.
11
00:00:32,529 --> 00:00:34,132
I saw the price
of that.
12
00:00:34,217 --> 00:00:36,069
Is the moral of the story
bankruptcy?
13
00:00:36,256 --> 00:00:37,687
(laughs)
14
00:00:38,178 --> 00:00:39,685
Oh, I like this guy.
15
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:42,046
Would you two care
for some complimentary
16
00:00:42,131 --> 00:00:44,116
small-batch bourbon
while you shop?
17
00:00:44,201 --> 00:00:45,550
I like this guy.
18
00:00:45,634 --> 00:00:47,937
Complimentary
is my favorite brand.
19
00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:52,124
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
20
00:00:52,209 --> 00:00:52,991
(sniffs)
21
00:00:53,076 --> 00:00:55,678
Ooh, oaky, yet peppery.
22
00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:58,663
Am I sensing some notes
of burnt caramel?
23
00:00:59,286 --> 00:01:01,093
Dave, I would take you
more seriously
24
00:01:01,178 --> 00:01:02,155
if I didn't see you drinking
25
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,428
a box of chocolate milk
this morning.
26
00:01:06,172 --> 00:01:08,857
You know what would
look amazing on you?
27
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,520
This jacket.
28
00:01:10,608 --> 00:01:13,795
Ooh! That is a nice
jacket. Mm-hmm.
29
00:01:13,929 --> 00:01:15,889
Oh, you know what?
Calvin, you should try that on.
30
00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:18,784
Is it complimentary to try on?
31
00:01:18,868 --> 00:01:21,569
As long as you stay
in the store.
32
00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:23,066
(chuckles)
33
00:01:23,282 --> 00:01:24,240
Hey.
34
00:01:24,342 --> 00:01:26,490
Okay. Yeah.
35
00:01:26,646 --> 00:01:28,834
- Yeah, that's nice right there.
- All right.
36
00:01:28,978 --> 00:01:31,928
Now that's how that jacket
was made to be worn.
37
00:01:32,213 --> 00:01:33,279
(chuckles)
38
00:01:33,364 --> 00:01:35,436
You know, it might be
the bourbon talking,
39
00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:37,339
but, uh, I believe you.
40
00:01:37,589 --> 00:01:38,740
(chuckles)
41
00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:40,771
Whew.
42
00:01:40,856 --> 00:01:43,641
Calvin, you know what?
You should get it.
43
00:01:43,792 --> 00:01:45,610
I mean, I do need
a jacket, right?
44
00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:46,812
Yeah.
45
00:01:46,896 --> 00:01:50,282
And it's on sale
for only $800.
46
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:52,787
Man, this is L.A.
Don't nobody need a jacket.
47
00:01:52,872 --> 00:01:54,523
Well, hold on, hold on, hold on.
48
00:01:54,608 --> 00:01:56,026
Calvin, don't take it off.
49
00:01:56,272 --> 00:01:58,924
That jacket's so sharp,
you might cut yourself.
50
00:01:59,008 --> 00:02:02,084
Aw, yeah, man.
51
00:02:02,211 --> 00:02:04,904
- I do look fly, though, right?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:05,615 --> 00:02:06,789
I don't know, Dave,
53
00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:10,396
I just can't justify
spending $800 for a jacket.
54
00:02:10,481 --> 00:02:11,698
If it makes you
feel better,
55
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,912
it's actually $799.99.
56
00:02:16,825 --> 00:02:19,744
So, you saying 700
and some change?
57
00:02:19,828 --> 00:02:21,246
Mm-hmm.
58
00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:23,545
Well, I can justify that.
59
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,293
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
60
00:02:27,378 --> 00:02:29,128
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
61
00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:31,212
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
Season 04 Episode 09
62
00:02:31,296 --> 00:02:33,487
Episode Title: "Welcome to the Splurge"
Aired on: December 06, 2021.
63
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:35,706
I mean, look,
I can wear this
64
00:02:35,791 --> 00:02:37,709
to so many different
special occasions.
65
00:02:37,947 --> 00:02:39,680
The Met Gala, all right.
66
00:02:39,765 --> 00:02:41,868
Pop it up like this, BET Awards.
67
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:42,970
(laughs)
68
00:02:43,055 --> 00:02:44,173
And right here,
69
00:02:44,258 --> 00:02:46,157
double date with
Barack and Michelle.
70
00:02:47,057 --> 00:02:49,282
But, baby, you don't do
any of those things.
71
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:51,509
Because I never had this jacket.
72
00:02:52,876 --> 00:02:56,235
Well, I think it's
very chic, very sexy.
73
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,405
When a piece tells your story,
74
00:02:58,490 --> 00:02:59,946
you got to read it,
75
00:03:00,071 --> 00:03:01,923
even if it was a lot of money.
76
00:03:02,345 --> 00:03:04,055
Well, Calvin,
you know what they say,
77
00:03:04,139 --> 00:03:05,196
you can't take it
with you.
78
00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:06,649
Well, they lied.
79
00:03:06,734 --> 00:03:08,665
I'm getting buried
in this thing.
80
00:03:09,386 --> 00:03:11,149
Well, baby, I'm happy
you're finally
81
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,688
splurging a little
on yourself.
82
00:03:12,773 --> 00:03:14,079
- Yeah.
- (phone chiming)
83
00:03:14,555 --> 00:03:15,572
(gasps)
84
00:03:15,657 --> 00:03:17,601
Dave, Daisy Wasser
just texted me back.
85
00:03:17,686 --> 00:03:18,516
Oh, my God. Okay.
86
00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:20,579
All right.
It's all happening.
87
00:03:21,321 --> 00:03:23,316
Okay, who's Daisy Wasser?
88
00:03:23,401 --> 00:03:24,446
My new mom friend.
89
00:03:24,548 --> 00:03:26,233
Her daughter Thatcher's
on Grover's soccer team.
90
00:03:26,317 --> 00:03:29,136
Yeah, and her husband, Josh,
is a celebrity chef. Mm-hmm.
91
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,377
He owns a farm-to-table
restaurant.
92
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,821
That sounds like food
with dirt on it.
93
00:03:34,602 --> 00:03:37,010
That's five-star dirt.
94
00:03:37,376 --> 00:03:38,745
More importantly...
(sighs)
95
00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:40,312
we really need
parent friends
96
00:03:40,397 --> 00:03:42,014
to do all these
parent activities with.
97
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,799
Like go to animated movies,
kids' birthday parties,
98
00:03:44,884 --> 00:03:47,548
and water parks.
Unless you guys are interested?
99
00:03:47,696 --> 00:03:50,727
We didn't want to do those
things with our own damn kids.
100
00:03:52,602 --> 00:03:55,517
Well, look at us, we're
all making new friends.
101
00:03:55,648 --> 00:03:57,110
- (chuckles)
- (stammers)
102
00:03:57,391 --> 00:03:59,852
Hello? Jay-Z?
103
00:03:59,977 --> 00:04:01,860
You're making
a new album?
104
00:04:02,212 --> 00:04:05,993
Of course. I would love to pose
on the cover in my new jacket.
105
00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:14,424
Oh, hey, man.
Where you coming from?
106
00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:17,217
Uh... You know,
I was out with the...
107
00:04:17,301 --> 00:04:18,868
(stammers, clears throat)
Nowhere.
108
00:04:20,204 --> 00:04:22,127
(stammers)
Man, what you doing?
109
00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:23,275
You left your phone
in my car.
110
00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:24,744
(chuckles) Thanks.
I'll see you later, Trey.
111
00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:26,878
Hey, Marty, you would've
loved that new Marvel movie.
112
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,091
I'm surprised
you didn't go with us.
113
00:04:28,175 --> 00:04:29,962
It was nerds
everywhere.
114
00:04:30,448 --> 00:04:31,788
Goodbye, Trey.
115
00:04:31,873 --> 00:04:32,361
(Grunts)
116
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:35,545
Get out. Get the hell out, Trey.
117
00:04:36,199 --> 00:04:38,084
Uh, I thought you said
118
00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:40,384
you didn't feel like
going to the Marvel movie.
119
00:04:40,469 --> 00:04:41,344
(sighs)
120
00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:42,345
Look, I'm sorry.
121
00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:44,048
I forgot you wanted
to see it, okay?
122
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:46,314
Which is why I put it
in our shared calendar.
123
00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:48,115
(scoffs) Marty, you know
I never check that.
124
00:04:48,199 --> 00:04:51,318
Which is why I put a Post-it
on your pillow.
125
00:04:51,402 --> 00:04:53,601
Oh, come on, man.
It's just a movie.
126
00:04:53,702 --> 00:04:54,755
I...
127
00:04:55,413 --> 00:04:56,976
A superhero movie
128
00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:59,343
is not just a movie.
129
00:04:59,874 --> 00:05:01,367
It is an experience.
130
00:05:04,507 --> 00:05:06,299
Well, here's to
new parent friends
131
00:05:06,383 --> 00:05:08,538
that understand the importance
of day drinking.
132
00:05:09,671 --> 00:05:10,859
(chuckles)
133
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:14,280
Okay, Josh, look, I-I don't want
to make this weird, but
134
00:05:14,476 --> 00:05:16,344
I followed your recipe
for homemade beer
135
00:05:16,429 --> 00:05:18,378
and... would love to know
what you think.
136
00:05:21,065 --> 00:05:23,085
Wow. Wow!
137
00:05:23,288 --> 00:05:24,149
(smacks lips)
138
00:05:24,249 --> 00:05:25,109
Is that clove?
139
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:28,296
It is! Yeah, I was hoping
you were gonna pick up on that.
140
00:05:29,812 --> 00:05:31,531
Hey, you guys are great hosts.
141
00:05:31,616 --> 00:05:33,530
Why don't you let us
return the favor next time?
142
00:05:33,913 --> 00:05:35,561
Thatcher and Grover can swim
143
00:05:35,646 --> 00:05:37,257
while we hang at the bar
144
00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:38,500
in our pool.
145
00:05:38,585 --> 00:05:39,733
You haven't had
a margarita
146
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:42,085
until you had
a swim-up margarita.
147
00:05:42,257 --> 00:05:43,303
Ooh.
148
00:05:43,387 --> 00:05:44,905
You know, I have been
waiting my whole life
149
00:05:44,989 --> 00:05:46,640
for someone to say
those words to me.
150
00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:48,675
(laughter)
151
00:05:49,032 --> 00:05:52,846
Submit, human! Whoa.
Okay, okay. All right, hey.
152
00:05:52,931 --> 00:05:55,315
Hey, guys. Guys. Hey, hey.
Is everybody okay?
153
00:05:55,571 --> 00:05:56,817
We're space pirates.
154
00:05:56,901 --> 00:05:59,432
Aw, I love that you guys
are using your imagination.
155
00:05:59,517 --> 00:06:00,822
You're so creative.
156
00:06:00,907 --> 00:06:02,446
And you're so basic.
157
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,868
Stop talking to me
like I'm a child.
158
00:06:06,267 --> 00:06:09,596
Thatcher, thanks
for giving us your truth,
159
00:06:09,681 --> 00:06:11,861
but next time, let's
choose kinder words.
160
00:06:12,157 --> 00:06:13,824
Okay. Will do, Daisy.
161
00:06:13,909 --> 00:06:15,275
(chuckles)
162
00:06:17,806 --> 00:06:19,510
Thatcher calls you
by your first name?
163
00:06:19,595 --> 00:06:20,607
Yes, yes.
164
00:06:20,691 --> 00:06:23,072
We, uh, we listen
to a parenting podcast
165
00:06:23,157 --> 00:06:25,979
that suggests "mom and dad"
causes an imbalance
166
00:06:26,064 --> 00:06:28,650
in the power dynamic
between parent and child.
167
00:06:28,734 --> 00:06:30,185
- Mm. Mm.
- GROVER: Stop. You're hitting too hard.
168
00:06:30,269 --> 00:06:32,153
THATCHER: I don't care!
Okay. Yeah, sure.
169
00:06:32,237 --> 00:06:34,155
I guess, uh, there's an argument
170
00:06:34,239 --> 00:06:36,275
for empowering kids.
171
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,732
Oh!
172
00:06:40,798 --> 00:06:41,916
Sorry.
173
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:44,098
No need to
apologize, kids.
174
00:06:44,182 --> 00:06:45,259
Things are
just things.
175
00:06:45,349 --> 00:06:47,986
Don't let it cause
any psychic trauma.
176
00:06:50,703 --> 00:06:53,955
Guys, thanks for understanding.
We will pay to replace it.
177
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:55,384
(phone chimes)
178
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:59,454
Oh, look at that.
You already Venmo'd me. Thanks.
179
00:07:00,361 --> 00:07:02,250
We found that allowing
Thatcher to discover
180
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,552
her own boundaries
is really good
181
00:07:04,636 --> 00:07:06,892
for her social-emotional
portfolio.
182
00:07:07,064 --> 00:07:08,923
Hmm...
183
00:07:09,007 --> 00:07:10,658
Sometimes boundaries
are good, right?
184
00:07:10,742 --> 00:07:13,853
You know, like at a museum
or around my vase.
185
00:07:17,158 --> 00:07:18,508
Okay, baby,
186
00:07:18,593 --> 00:07:20,829
you ready to go to dinner?
Oh, yeah.
187
00:07:21,078 --> 00:07:22,134
I've been
dreaming about
188
00:07:22,219 --> 00:07:24,268
Brachetto's
chicken parm all day.
189
00:07:24,353 --> 00:07:25,376
(chuckles) Well...
190
00:07:25,461 --> 00:07:26,876
We're going
to a nice restaurant.
191
00:07:26,961 --> 00:07:28,343
Aren't you gonna wear
your new jacket?
192
00:07:28,427 --> 00:07:31,713
(laughs) Brachetto's
is not jacket worthy.
193
00:07:31,797 --> 00:07:35,016
(chuckles) Any place
where you can use crayons
194
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:38,019
to color on the table
is not that nice.
195
00:07:38,329 --> 00:07:39,587
You're being ridiculous.
196
00:07:39,671 --> 00:07:41,122
You spent all that money
on a new jacket,
197
00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:42,751
and now you're afraid
to wear it?
198
00:07:42,836 --> 00:07:45,757
I'm not afraid to wear it.
I just choose not to wear it
199
00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:49,650
out in that dirty world full
of miscreants and vagabonds.
200
00:07:50,999 --> 00:07:53,190
Okay. Okay,
you know what?
201
00:07:53,275 --> 00:07:56,321
We're gonna take this
nice and slow, okay?
202
00:07:56,501 --> 00:07:58,338
- We're gonna put the jacket on...
- All right.
203
00:07:58,422 --> 00:07:59,840
Come on, baby,
come on. You got...
204
00:07:59,925 --> 00:08:02,204
Oh, look at that.
Now...
205
00:08:02,289 --> 00:08:05,942
we're gonna wear
the jacket outside,
206
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,846
and then if that goes well,
we'll wear it to the car.
207
00:08:08,931 --> 00:08:10,582
(chuckles)
Good?
208
00:08:10,682 --> 00:08:12,386
No, I get it, I get it.
You got it?
209
00:08:12,471 --> 00:08:15,857
It's nice, you know. Yeah.
I mean, why was I tripping?
210
00:08:15,941 --> 00:08:18,860
You tripping.
(chuckling) Come on.
211
00:08:18,944 --> 00:08:20,931
Okay, here we go.
Thank you, baby.
212
00:08:21,813 --> 00:08:23,236
(thunder crashes)
213
00:08:23,321 --> 00:08:25,667
Aw, hell no.
It's raining out there.
214
00:08:25,751 --> 00:08:28,017
God has spoken.
Mm-mm.
215
00:08:30,659 --> 00:08:32,406
ANNOUNCER (on TV): And that
does it for our post-game coverage
216
00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:35,282
of the epic battle between
the Lakers and the Celtics.
217
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,134
Man, I would've killed
to have been at that game.
218
00:08:38,379 --> 00:08:40,790
(laughing, cheering)
219
00:08:41,318 --> 00:08:42,736
Yeah!
220
00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:46,229
Oh, that was, hands down,
one of the most fun nights
221
00:08:46,314 --> 00:08:48,389
- ever!
- Yeah, no joke.
222
00:08:48,473 --> 00:08:50,509
And I've been to Medieval Times.
223
00:08:50,939 --> 00:08:53,995
Hold up. W-Wait, wait.
You two were at the game?
224
00:08:54,079 --> 00:08:56,197
Bro, we were basically
in the game.
225
00:08:56,281 --> 00:08:59,167
Marty got us JPL floor seats.
Thank you, science!
226
00:08:59,251 --> 00:09:00,665
You, too, Marty.
227
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:02,736
Wow, really?
228
00:09:02,902 --> 00:09:05,238
You know how much I wanted
to go to that game.
229
00:09:05,493 --> 00:09:07,978
Oh, and how would I know that?
230
00:09:09,055 --> 00:09:10,907
Did you put a Post-it
on my pillow?
231
00:09:11,163 --> 00:09:13,103
I know what you're
trying to do, Marty.
232
00:09:13,188 --> 00:09:16,283
Oh, do you now?
Because all I was doing
233
00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:18,978
was enjoying a night out
with my good friend, Trey.
234
00:09:19,235 --> 00:09:20,611
First of all, Trey
235
00:09:20,696 --> 00:09:22,389
is my good friend.
236
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:24,705
I mean, yeah,
but you never got me
237
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,341
floor seats
to the Laker game.
238
00:09:26,426 --> 00:09:30,046
Well, how about some tacos
from the truck on 3rd Street?
239
00:09:30,131 --> 00:09:32,016
- Do I get guac?
- Yes.
240
00:09:32,434 --> 00:09:34,032
You get guac.
241
00:09:36,845 --> 00:09:39,392
I call dibs
on the last Popsicle.
242
00:09:43,658 --> 00:09:47,511
I mean, that swim-up bar
was awesome.
243
00:09:47,596 --> 00:09:50,316
You know, Josh did not have to
name a margarita after me,
244
00:09:50,401 --> 00:09:53,970
but those Dave-aritas
really hit the spot.
245
00:09:55,205 --> 00:09:56,622
What a perfect day.
246
00:09:56,808 --> 00:09:59,327
Perfect? Dave,
you're wearing my wrap
247
00:09:59,411 --> 00:10:00,720
because their
obnoxious kid
248
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:01,963
threw your clothes
into the pool.
249
00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:04,065
Well, which allowed me
250
00:10:04,149 --> 00:10:06,189
to get a lovely breeze.
(scoffs)
251
00:10:07,853 --> 00:10:09,853
Look, Josh and Daisy are great,
252
00:10:09,938 --> 00:10:12,023
but their daughter's
a nightmare.
253
00:10:12,257 --> 00:10:14,626
She called me "troll toes."
254
00:10:14,806 --> 00:10:18,329
Which is more of an observation
than it is a criticism.
255
00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:22,275
O-Okay, okay, look.
256
00:10:23,401 --> 00:10:25,053
Let's just give them
one more chance.
257
00:10:25,137 --> 00:10:27,009
We have so much in common.
258
00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:29,017
You know, Thatcher just...
259
00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:32,040
keeps us on our troll toes.
260
00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:35,838
Not funny, and besides,
261
00:10:35,923 --> 00:10:37,635
she's a bad influence on Grover.
262
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,333
Grover is a great kid.
263
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:41,431
Thatcher is not gonna turn him.
264
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,479
GEMMA:
Oh, sweetie,
265
00:10:42,564 --> 00:10:43,173
it's getting late.
266
00:10:43,258 --> 00:10:45,079
Please take a quick shower
before bed.
267
00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:48,059
I'll get to it
when I get to it, Gemma.
268
00:10:51,378 --> 00:10:53,162
Upstairs, now.
269
00:10:53,247 --> 00:10:54,982
(groans) Fine.
270
00:10:58,963 --> 00:11:00,884
Uh... Gemma,
271
00:11:01,006 --> 00:11:02,533
I think we might want
to be mindful
272
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:05,236
of his social-emotional
portfolio.
273
00:11:06,118 --> 00:11:08,096
Upstairs, now.
274
00:11:10,348 --> 00:11:11,642
Fine.
275
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:20,942
Why are we hosting
the Wassers again?
276
00:11:21,026 --> 00:11:22,977
After yesterday,
I am not in the mood.
277
00:11:23,061 --> 00:11:24,479
I didn't have a choice.
278
00:11:24,563 --> 00:11:27,096
Josh just texted me,
"On our way," with a wine emoji.
279
00:11:27,181 --> 00:11:28,869
Well, let's just
turn off the lights
280
00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:30,190
and pretend we're not home.
281
00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:32,986
(knocking on door)
Too late. Hey!
282
00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:38,826
- Hi.
- Oh, hey, guys. Hey, Thatcher.
283
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:40,441
Uh, Grover's just having a snack
in the kitchen.
284
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,572
And before you ask, no,
we don't have any candy.
285
00:11:42,657 --> 00:11:44,178
I already know
that your snacks suck.
286
00:11:44,263 --> 00:11:46,736
Good thing I had chocolate
in the car.
287
00:11:52,525 --> 00:11:54,008
Don't worry about that blanket,
288
00:11:54,092 --> 00:11:56,532
just an irreplaceable
family heirloom.
289
00:11:57,548 --> 00:11:58,924
Sorry about that,
290
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,736
- and about yesterday.
- Yeah.
291
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,963
We, uh, we brought you
this biodynamic
292
00:12:03,048 --> 00:12:05,252
sparkling Lambrusco
to apologize.
293
00:12:05,337 --> 00:12:07,355
Oh, well, that makes it
all better.
294
00:12:07,439 --> 00:12:09,157
I'll go get some glasses.
295
00:12:09,384 --> 00:12:11,103
(glass shatters)
296
00:12:11,276 --> 00:12:12,554
Make that plastic cups.
297
00:12:12,638 --> 00:12:13,759
(knocking on door)
298
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:15,710
Ooh, excuse me. Sorry.
299
00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:18,994
Oh, hey, come on in, guys.
300
00:12:19,079 --> 00:12:21,971
Hey, we're just taking
Calvin's new jacket
301
00:12:22,056 --> 00:12:23,923
out for a test-drive.
302
00:12:24,589 --> 00:12:26,532
See? That wasn't so bad.
303
00:12:26,618 --> 00:12:28,009
Not so bad?
304
00:12:28,093 --> 00:12:29,901
Those pigeons on the
power line were trying
305
00:12:29,986 --> 00:12:32,213
to go all Call of Duty
on me.
306
00:12:32,632 --> 00:12:34,415
No pun intended.
307
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:36,290
DAVE:
Uh, Josh, Daisy,
308
00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:38,658
these are our dearest friends,
Calvin and Tina Butler.
309
00:12:38,743 --> 00:12:40,462
Hey, so nice
to meet you.
310
00:12:41,473 --> 00:12:43,508
(mechanical blipping)
311
00:12:49,047 --> 00:12:51,082
(alarm blaring)
312
00:12:52,617 --> 00:12:54,635
Josh Wasser. How you doing?
313
00:12:54,719 --> 00:12:55,937
Calvin Butler.
314
00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:57,204
Oh! (Chuckles)
315
00:12:57,289 --> 00:13:00,525
No reason to do all that.
You know what I mean? My man.
316
00:13:03,228 --> 00:13:04,557
Hey!
317
00:13:04,642 --> 00:13:06,549
I'm so glad you guys are here.
318
00:13:06,641 --> 00:13:09,564
(screaming)
Whoa, careful, careful!
319
00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:12,494
- Okay, all right.
- Oh, God.
320
00:13:12,579 --> 00:13:13,736
What the hell?
321
00:13:13,821 --> 00:13:15,393
It's fruit punch.
322
00:13:15,478 --> 00:13:19,025
Say hello to my little friend.
323
00:13:20,211 --> 00:13:22,062
Thatcher,
324
00:13:22,147 --> 00:13:24,415
are we making
good decisions right now?
325
00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:27,194
(alarm blaring)
326
00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:29,690
Okay, that's it.
I'm out of here.
327
00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:31,272
There's a little white girl
out of control.
328
00:13:31,356 --> 00:13:33,407
I'm gonna take my chances
with the pigeons.
329
00:13:33,553 --> 00:13:35,589
(dramatic music playing)
330
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:48,501
(distorted):
I got you!
331
00:13:50,308 --> 00:13:51,292
(thuds)
332
00:13:51,376 --> 00:13:53,011
Yes.
333
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,860
Ooh.
334
00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:01,064
(grunting)
335
00:14:01,286 --> 00:14:04,363
Hey, thank you
for doing that for me.
336
00:14:04,448 --> 00:14:06,282
I did it
for the jacket.
337
00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:10,533
Now, where is she?
338
00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,744
'Cause I ain't afraid
to fight no fifth grader.
339
00:14:12,829 --> 00:14:14,081
Uh...
340
00:14:14,165 --> 00:14:16,721
That is just not the way
we deal with our daughter.
341
00:14:16,806 --> 00:14:19,901
See, stains will come out,
but psychic trauma,
342
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:21,767
that lasts forever.
343
00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:24,158
Right.
344
00:14:24,242 --> 00:14:25,493
That little girl
345
00:14:25,577 --> 00:14:28,262
needs some good old-fashioned
Black parenting.
346
00:14:28,613 --> 00:14:32,415
Say the word and me and Tina'll
sneak through the back door.
347
00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:36,181
All I need
is five minutes.
348
00:14:40,978 --> 00:14:42,110
Oh,
349
00:14:42,227 --> 00:14:44,645
so you up in here
making a sandwich?
350
00:14:45,393 --> 00:14:47,095
Looks like it.
351
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,569
Well, so am I.
352
00:14:55,113 --> 00:14:57,173
(clears throat)
Pass me the mayo.
353
00:14:59,652 --> 00:15:01,887
(squishing)
354
00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:06,070
We all out.
355
00:15:09,502 --> 00:15:10,920
So, it's gonna
be like that, huh?
356
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:13,923
(chuckles) Oh, yeah.
It's like that.
357
00:15:14,007 --> 00:15:15,361
(gags)
358
00:15:15,876 --> 00:15:18,427
Ah! Ah!
359
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,314
I ruined my own sandwich
out of spite.
360
00:15:21,657 --> 00:15:23,466
Look, Marty,
this is stupid, man.
361
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:24,934
What are we fighting for?
362
00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:28,486
Because you clearly don't like
spending time with me.
363
00:15:30,523 --> 00:15:32,790
I do like spending time
with you.
364
00:15:33,055 --> 00:15:35,704
I just don't like spending
all my time with you.
365
00:15:35,995 --> 00:15:38,415
You know, we're brothers,
we're roommates,
366
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,079
we ride
to work together.
367
00:15:40,353 --> 00:15:41,917
That's a lot.
368
00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:43,953
Well, why didn't you just say
you needed space?
369
00:15:44,037 --> 00:15:45,855
Know what, you right.
370
00:15:45,939 --> 00:15:48,374
I should have,
and I'm sorry.
371
00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:51,427
I'm sorry, too.
372
00:15:51,511 --> 00:15:53,113
All right.
373
00:15:55,115 --> 00:15:57,099
Dave, this isn't
gonna work.
374
00:15:57,183 --> 00:16:00,803
I want parent friends, too,
but not these parent friends.
375
00:16:00,887 --> 00:16:03,704
Let's just tell them,
"Josh, Daisy.
376
00:16:03,789 --> 00:16:05,064
"You're terrible parents,
377
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:07,792
and your daughter is gonna
grow up to become the Joker."
378
00:16:09,352 --> 00:16:10,987
Knock, knock.
379
00:16:12,031 --> 00:16:13,616
Guys, while you
were in here,
380
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:16,446
we were out there
doing a tandem meditation.
381
00:16:16,531 --> 00:16:17,665
No.
382
00:16:18,031 --> 00:16:20,922
And, um, we were both
picking up
383
00:16:21,007 --> 00:16:23,673
on some pretty
negative harmonics.
384
00:16:25,056 --> 00:16:26,486
Yeah, well,
we were in here
385
00:16:26,571 --> 00:16:30,181
picking up after your daughter's
trail of destruction.
386
00:16:31,151 --> 00:16:34,611
Okay, okay, uh, well, clearly,
we're struggling here.
387
00:16:35,110 --> 00:16:36,169
Uh, we just
388
00:16:36,254 --> 00:16:38,172
have very different
parenting styles. (Sighs)
389
00:16:38,281 --> 00:16:40,837
Yes, we're picking up
on that, too,
390
00:16:40,922 --> 00:16:44,282
and we're happy to share
some parenting tips with you.
391
00:16:46,175 --> 00:16:47,618
Wait, what?
392
00:16:47,743 --> 00:16:49,027
DAVE:
Uh, you know what?
393
00:16:49,135 --> 00:16:51,554
Guys... (chuckles)
Call us old-fashioned,
394
00:16:51,638 --> 00:16:54,446
but we are firm believers
in, I d...
395
00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:57,126
The traditional
parent-child dynamic.
396
00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:58,704
Oh...
397
00:16:58,789 --> 00:17:01,675
That is so adorably
Judeo-Christian of you.
398
00:17:02,603 --> 00:17:04,279
Okay, um...
399
00:17:04,364 --> 00:17:05,604
You know,
before things get personal,
400
00:17:05,688 --> 00:17:07,372
why don't we,
why don't we just be adults,
401
00:17:07,457 --> 00:17:09,343
put a pin in the parenting
conversation, and go enjoy
402
00:17:09,427 --> 00:17:11,829
the very nice bottle of wine
that you guys brought over.
403
00:17:13,558 --> 00:17:16,610
All right.
404
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,037
See that?
405
00:17:18,131 --> 00:17:19,882
It was good that you
married a mediator.
406
00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:21,743
Your mother
was wrong.
407
00:17:23,753 --> 00:17:24,652
(gasps)
408
00:17:24,737 --> 00:17:26,994
Oh, my. You have
got to be kidding me.
409
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:27,990
No!
(paint spraying)
410
00:17:28,074 --> 00:17:29,125
No. No way.
411
00:17:29,209 --> 00:17:31,160
That's your face
right now, Gemma.
412
00:17:31,501 --> 00:17:33,129
Venmo's on its way.
413
00:17:33,610 --> 00:17:35,030
Thatcher,
414
00:17:35,114 --> 00:17:37,314
I know we practice
our street art at home,
415
00:17:37,399 --> 00:17:39,484
but Dave and Gemma
might not like it.
416
00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:41,103
We don't. Get out.
417
00:17:41,306 --> 00:17:43,105
Hey, uh,
418
00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:45,107
Josh, Daisy,
this is over.
419
00:17:45,243 --> 00:17:46,709
Well, that breaks
our hearts.
420
00:17:46,793 --> 00:17:49,478
Well, Thatcher broke
our house. Bye.
421
00:17:49,562 --> 00:17:52,014
But I want to sign my work.
422
00:17:52,098 --> 00:17:53,007
Okay, you know what?
423
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:54,633
How about this?
"Xoxo, you little brat."
424
00:17:54,717 --> 00:17:56,285
Now, get out of here.
425
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:00,828
Thank God
426
00:18:01,008 --> 00:18:02,776
I'm not her dad.
427
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:06,234
Man, that girl was a lot.
428
00:18:07,039 --> 00:18:08,929
You did the right thing, Dave.
429
00:18:11,172 --> 00:18:12,812
Oh.
430
00:18:13,336 --> 00:18:14,853
I know.
431
00:18:14,938 --> 00:18:18,187
My room. No iPad.
432
00:18:19,804 --> 00:18:21,455
CALVIN:
I've made my final decision.
433
00:18:22,109 --> 00:18:23,879
This jacket
is driving me crazy,
434
00:18:23,963 --> 00:18:25,181
so I'm taking it back.
435
00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:27,183
Calvin, you're overreacting.
436
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,929
Am I?
437
00:18:29,072 --> 00:18:31,524
I mean, you had to go
all Secret Service
438
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,648
just to protect me from
little baby Scarface over there.
439
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:39,401
Clearly, I shouldn't have
such an expensive jacket.
440
00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:41,857
You know who you
remind me of right now?
441
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:43,781
My mother.
442
00:18:43,934 --> 00:18:46,047
Okay, now you're
just being mean.
443
00:18:47,749 --> 00:18:50,734
She saved up for years
to buy this china set,
444
00:18:50,990 --> 00:18:54,039
and when she finally got it,
she was so afraid it would break
445
00:18:54,124 --> 00:18:56,442
she never took it
out of the box.
446
00:18:56,629 --> 00:18:58,321
And you know
how this story ends.
447
00:18:58,406 --> 00:19:00,516
Yes. The china was safe
448
00:19:00,601 --> 00:19:03,195
and preserved
for future generations.
449
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:06,722
Yes, Calvin,
but she also died
450
00:19:06,806 --> 00:19:08,891
before she got a chance
to ever use it.
451
00:19:08,975 --> 00:19:10,156
Mm.
452
00:19:10,572 --> 00:19:12,190
Yeah, that's a shame.
453
00:19:12,345 --> 00:19:14,930
Your mother deserved
to enjoy nice things.
454
00:19:15,641 --> 00:19:17,233
And so do you.
455
00:19:17,317 --> 00:19:18,609
(chuckles)
456
00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:21,570
You know what? You're right.
457
00:19:21,654 --> 00:19:23,806
Give me that jacket.
Okay.
458
00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:27,343
You know, this neighborhood
deserves nice things, too,
459
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:29,829
like seeing me in this jacket.
460
00:19:31,798 --> 00:19:34,216
I mean, I do
look good, don't I?
461
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,217
(whoops)
462
00:19:35,301 --> 00:19:36,742
Well, come on.
463
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:38,544
Let's go give them
something to talk about.
464
00:19:38,771 --> 00:19:40,990
Ooh, are we going
someplace special?
465
00:19:41,074 --> 00:19:42,242
Yes.
466
00:19:42,327 --> 00:19:44,844
I'm taking my favorite girl
out for ice cream.
467
00:19:44,929 --> 00:19:47,578
Ooh, yes.
I-In a cup, not a cone.
468
00:19:47,809 --> 00:19:49,508
Okay.
B-Baby steps.
469
00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:56,846
I mean, my man.
470
00:19:56,931 --> 00:20:00,151
First, you splurge
on a new jacket,
471
00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:03,922
then you get two scoops
of ice cream with sprinkles.
472
00:20:04,188 --> 00:20:05,681
(chuckles)
473
00:20:05,844 --> 00:20:07,648
YOLO, Tina.
474
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:10,084
You know? I got to say,
475
00:20:10,523 --> 00:20:12,462
it feels kind of good
476
00:20:12,547 --> 00:20:15,090
splurging on things
you don't necessarily need.
477
00:20:15,508 --> 00:20:17,962
I might have a little Diddy
in me after all.
478
00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:19,377
You know.
Uh-oh. Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
479
00:20:19,461 --> 00:20:20,884
Get it, get it, baby.
Get it.
480
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:22,164
(knocking on door)
Take that, take that.
481
00:20:22,248 --> 00:20:25,578
(chuckles)
482
00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:27,891
We have a surprise
for you, Calvin.
483
00:20:34,386 --> 00:20:36,258
I went and got the same jacket.
484
00:20:37,412 --> 00:20:39,109
Jacket twins.
485
00:20:39,983 --> 00:20:40,882
Wow.
486
00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,382
Okay, I see you walking.
487
00:20:42,476 --> 00:20:43,510
- That's right.
- CALVIN: Walk it out, baby.
488
00:20:43,594 --> 00:20:45,195
- Okay. Walk it.
- Get it, Dave.
489
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,427
- And two and three, and walk it out.
- All right.
490
00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:50,420
Walk it out. Walk it out.
491
00:20:56,883 --> 00:20:59,802
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
492
00:20:59,886 --> 00:21:02,805
and TOYOTA.
493
00:21:02,889 --> 00:21:05,925
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
494
00:21:06,009 --> 00:21:08,009
Sync corrections by srjanapala
34933
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