All language subtitles for The Neighborhood - 4x09 - Welcome to the Splurge.WEB.ION10.en

Dave, what are we doing
in this ritzy store?

Smells like trust funds
and white-collar crime in here.

I know,

but I need some new shirts for work,

and Haberdashery L.A.
is the hot new place.

They say it's for the modern,

yet classic gentleman.

Then what are you doing here?

Calvin, what about this?

I love the story that hat
is telling on you.

I saw the price of that.

Is the moral of the story bankruptcy?

Oh, I like this guy.

Would you two care
for some complimentary

small-batch bourbon while you shop?

I like this guy.

Complimentary is my favorite brand.

Thank you. Mm-hmm.

Ooh, oaky, yet peppery.

Am I sensing some notes
of burnt caramel?

Dave, I would take you more seriously

if I didn't see you drinking

a box of chocolate milk this morning.

You know what would look amazing on you?

This jacket.

- Ooh! That is a nice jacket.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, you know what?
Calvin, you should try that on.

Is it complimentary to try on?

As long as you stay in the store.

Hey.

Okay. Yeah.

- Yeah, that's nice right there.
- All right.

Now that's how that jacket
was made to be worn.

You know, it might be
the bourbon talking,

but, uh, I believe you.

Whew.

Calvin, you know what?
You should get it.

I mean, I do need a jacket, right?

Yeah.

And it's on sale for only $800.

Man, this is L.A.
Don't nobody need a jacket.

Well, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Calvin, don't take it off.

That jacket's so sharp,
you might cut yourself.

Aw, yeah, man.

- I do look fly, though, right?
- Yeah.

I don't know, Dave,

I just can't justify
spending $800 for a jacket.

If it makes you feel better,

it's actually $799.99.

So, you saying 700 and some change?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I can justify that.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪

I mean, look, I can wear this

to so many different special occasions.

The Met Gala, all right.

Pop it up like this, BET Awards.

And right here,

double date with Barack and Michelle.

But, baby, you don't do
any of those things.

Because I never had this jacket.

Well, I think it's very chic, very sexy.

When a piece tells your story,

you got to read it,

even if it was a lot of money.

Well, Calvin, you know what they say,

you can't take it with you.

Well, they lied.

I'm getting buried in this thing.

Well, baby, I'm happy you're finally

splurging a little on yourself.

Yeah.

Dave, Daisy Wasser just texted me back.

Oh, my God. Okay.

All right. It's all happening.

Okay, who's Daisy Wasser?

My new mom friend.

Her daughter Thatcher's
on Grover's soccer team.

Yeah, and her husband,
Josh, is a celebrity chef.

Mm-hmm.

He owns a farm-to-table restaurant.

That sounds like food with dirt on it.

That's five-star dirt.

More importantly...

we really need parent friends

to do all these parent activities with.

Like go to animated movies,
kids' birthday parties,

and water parks.
Unless you guys are interested?

We didn't want to do those
things with our own damn kids.

Well, look at us, we're
all making new friends.

Hello? Jay-Z?

You're making a new album?

Of course. I would love to pose
on the cover in my new jacket.

Oh, hey, man. Where you coming from?

Uh... You know, I was out with the...

Nowhere.

Man, what you doing?

You left your phone in my car.

Thanks. I'll see you later, Trey.

Hey, Marty, you would've
loved that new Marvel movie.

I'm surprised you didn't go with us.

It was nerds everywhere.

Goodbye, Trey.

Get out. Get the hell out, Trey.

Uh, I thought you said

you didn't feel like
going to the Marvel movie.

Look, I'm sorry.

I forgot you wanted to see it, okay?

Which is why I put it
in our shared calendar.

Marty, you know I never check that.

Which is why I put a Post-it
on your pillow.

Oh, come on, man. It's just a movie.

I...

A superhero movie

is not just a movie.

It is an experience.

Well, here's to new parent friends

that understand the importance
of day drinking.

Okay, Josh, look, I-I don't want
to make this weird, but

I followed your recipe for homemade beer

and... would love to know
what you think.

Wow. Wow!

Is that clove?

It is! Yeah, I was hoping
you were gonna pick up on that.

Hey, you guys are great hosts.

Why don't you let us
return the favor next time?

Thatcher and Grover can swim

while we hang at the bar

in our pool.

You haven't had a margarita

until you had a swim-up margarita.

Ooh.

You know, I have been
waiting my whole life

for someone to say those words to me.

Submit, human! Whoa.
Okay, okay. All right, hey.

Hey, guys. Guys. Hey, hey.
Is everybody okay?

We're space pirates.

Aw, I love that you guys
are using your imagination.

You're so creative.

And you're so basic.

Stop talking to me like I'm a child.

Thatcher, thanks
for giving us your truth,

but next time, let's
choose kinder words.

Okay. Will do, Daisy.

Thatcher calls you by your first name?

Yes, yes.

We, uh, we listen to a parenting podcast

that suggests "mom and dad"
causes an imbalance

in the power dynamic
between parent and child.

- Mm. Mm.
- Stop. You're hitting too hard.

- I don't care!
- Okay. Yeah, sure.

I guess, uh, there's an argument

for empowering kids.

Oh!

Sorry.

No need to apologize, kids.

Things are just things.

Don't let it cause any psychic trauma.

Guys, thanks for understanding.
We will pay to replace it.

Oh, look at that.
You already Venmo'd me. Thanks.

We found that allowing
Thatcher to discover

her own boundaries is really good

for her social-emotional portfolio.

Hmm...

Sometimes boundaries are good, right?

You know, like at a museum
or around my vase.

Okay, baby,

- you ready to go to dinner?
- Oh, yeah.

I've been dreaming about

Brachetto's chicken parm all day.

Well...

We're going to a nice restaurant.

Aren't you gonna wear your new jacket?

Brachetto's is not jacket worthy.

Any place where you can use crayons

to color on the table is not that nice.

You're being ridiculous.

You spent all that money
on a new jacket,

and now you're afraid to wear it?

I'm not afraid to wear it.
I just choose not to wear it

out in that dirty world full
of miscreants and vagabonds.

Okay. Okay, you know what?

We're gonna take this
nice and slow, okay?

- We're gonna put the jacket on...
- All right.

Come on, baby, come on. You got...

Oh, look at that. Now...

we're gonna wear the jacket outside,

and then if that goes well,
we'll wear it to the car.

Good?

- No, I get it, I get it.
- You got it?

It's nice, you know. Yeah.
I mean, why was I tripping?

- You tripping.
- Come on.

Okay, here we go. Thank you, baby.

Aw, hell no. It's raining out there.

God has spoken. Mm-mm.

And that does it for
our post-game coverage

of the epic battle between
the Lakers and the Celtics.

Man, I would've killed
to have been at that game.

Yeah!

Oh, that was, hands down,
one of the most fun nights

- ever!
- Yeah, no joke.

And I've been to Medieval Times.

Hold up. W-Wait, wait.
You two were at the game?

Bro, we were basically in the game.

Marty got us JPL floor seats.
Thank you, science!

You, too, Marty.

Wow, really?

You know how much I wanted
to go to that game.

Oh, and how would I know that?

Did you put a Post-it on my pillow?

I know what you're trying to do, Marty.

Oh, do you now? Because all I was doing

was enjoying a night out
with my good friend, Trey.

First of all, Trey

is my good friend.

I mean, yeah, but you never got me

floor seats to the Laker game.

Well, how about some tacos
from the truck on 3rd Street?

- Do I get guac?
- Yes.

You get guac.

I call dibs on the last Popsicle.

I mean, that swim-up bar was awesome.

You know, Josh did not have to
name a margarita after me,

but those Dave-aritas
really hit the spot.

What a perfect day.

Perfect? Dave, you're wearing my wrap

because their obnoxious kid

threw your clothes into the pool.

Well, which allowed me

to get a lovely breeze.

Look, Josh and Daisy are great,

but their daughter's a nightmare.

She called me "troll toes."

Which is more of an observation
than it is a criticism.

O-Okay, okay, look.

Let's just give them one more chance.

We have so much in common.

You know, Thatcher just...

keeps us on our troll toes.

Not funny, and besides,

she's a bad influence on Grover.

Grover is a great kid.

Thatcher is not gonna turn him.

Oh, sweetie, it's getting late.

Please take a quick shower before bed.

I'll get to it when I get to it, Gemma.

Upstairs, now.

Fine.

Uh... Gemma,

I think we might want to be mindful

of his social-emotional portfolio.

Upstairs, now.

Fine.

Why are we hosting the Wassers again?

After yesterday, I am not in the mood.

I didn't have a choice.

Josh just texted me,
"On our way," with a wine emoji.

Well, let's just turn off the lights

and pretend we're not home.

Too late. Hey!

- Hi.
- Oh, hey, guys. Hey, Thatcher.

Uh, Grover's just having a snack
in the kitchen.

And before you ask, no,
we don't have any candy.

I already know that your snacks suck.

Good thing I had chocolate in the car.

Don't worry about that blanket,

just an irreplaceable family heirloom.

Sorry about that,

- and about yesterday.
- Yeah.

We, uh, we brought you this biodynamic

sparkling Lambrusco to apologize.

Oh, well, that makes it all better.

I'll go get some glasses.

Make that plastic cups.

Ooh, excuse me. Sorry.

Oh, hey, come on in, guys.

Hey, we're just taking
Calvin's new jacket

out for a test-drive.

See? That wasn't so bad.

Not so bad?

Those pigeons on the
power line were trying

to go all Call of Duty on me.

No pun intended.

Uh, Josh, Daisy,

these are our dearest friends,
Calvin and Tina Butler.

Hey, so nice to meet you.

Josh Wasser. How you doing?

Calvin Butler.

Oh!

No reason to do all that.
You know what I mean? My man.

Hey!

I'm so glad you guys are here.

Whoa, careful, careful!

- Okay, all right.
- Oh, God.

What the hell?

It's fruit punch.

Say hello to my little friend.

Thatcher,

are we making good decisions right now?

Okay, that's it. I'm out of here.

There's a little white girl
out of control.

I'm gonna take my chances
with the pigeons.

I got you!

Yes.

Ooh.

Hey, thank you for doing that for me.

I did it for the jacket.

Now, where is she?

'Cause I ain't afraid
to fight no fifth grader.

Uh...

That is just not the way
we deal with our daughter.

See, stains will come out,
but psychic trauma,

that lasts forever.

Right.

That little girl

needs some good old-fashioned
Black parenting.

Say the word and me and Tina'll
sneak through the back door.

All I need is five minutes.

Oh,

so you up in here making a sandwich?

Looks like it.

Well, so am I.

Pass me the mayo.

We all out.

So, it's gonna be like that, huh?

Oh, yeah. It's like that.

Ah! Ah!

I ruined my own sandwich out of spite.

Look, Marty, this is stupid, man.

What are we fighting for?

Because you clearly don't like
spending time with me.

I do like spending time with you.

I just don't like spending
all my time with you.

You know, we're brothers,
we're roommates,

we ride to work together.

That's a lot.

Well, why didn't you just say
you needed space?

Know what, you right.

I should have, and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

All right.

Dave, this isn't gonna work.

I want parent friends, too,
but not these parent friends.

Let's just tell them, "Josh, Daisy.

"You're terrible parents,

and your daughter is gonna
grow up to become the Joker."

Knock, knock.

Guys, while you were in here,

we were out there
doing a tandem meditation.

No.

And, um, we were both picking up

on some pretty negative harmonics.

Yeah, well, we were in here

picking up after your daughter's
trail of destruction.

Okay, okay, uh, well, clearly,
we're struggling here.

Uh, we just

have very different parenting styles.

Yes, we're picking up on that, too,

and we're happy to share
some parenting tips with you.

Wait, what?

Uh, you know what?

Guys... Call us old-fashioned,

but we are firm believers in, I d...

The traditional parent-child dynamic.

Oh...

That is so adorably
Judeo-Christian of you.

Okay, um...

You know, before things get personal,

why don't we,
why don't we just be adults,

put a pin in the parenting
conversation, and go enjoy

the very nice bottle of wine
that you guys brought over.

All right.

See that?

It was good that you married a mediator.

Your mother was wrong.

Oh, my. You have got to be kidding me.

No!

No. No way.

That's your face right now, Gemma.

Venmo's on its way.

Thatcher,

I know we practice
our street art at home,

but Dave and Gemma might not like it.

We don't. Get out.

Hey, uh,

Josh, Daisy, this is over.

Well, that breaks our hearts.

Well, Thatcher broke our house. Bye.

But I want to sign my work.

Okay, you know what?

How about this? "Xoxo, you little brat."

Now, get out of here.

Thank God

I'm not her dad.

Man, that girl was a lot.

You did the right thing, Dave.

Oh.

I know.

My room. No iPad.

I've made my final decision.

This jacket is driving me crazy,

so I'm taking it back.

Calvin, you're overreacting.

Am I?

I mean, you had to go all Secret Service

just to protect me from
little baby Scarface over there.

Clearly, I shouldn't have
such an expensive jacket.

You know who you remind me of right now?

My mother.

Okay, now you're just being mean.

She saved up for years
to buy this china set,

and when she finally got it,
she was so afraid it would break

she never took it out of the box.

And you know how this story ends.

Yes. The china was safe

and preserved for future generations.

Yes, Calvin, but she also died

before she got a chance to ever use it.

Mm.

Yeah, that's a shame.

Your mother deserved
to enjoy nice things.

And so do you.

You know what? You're right.

- Give me that jacket.
- Okay.

You know, this neighborhood
deserves nice things, too,

like seeing me in this jacket.

I mean, I do look good, don't I?

Well, come on.

Let's go give them
something to talk about.

Ooh, are we going someplace special?

Yes.

I'm taking my favorite girl
out for ice cream.

- Ooh, yes.
- I-In a cup, not a cone.

- Okay.
- B-Baby steps.

I mean, my man.

First, you splurge on a new jacket,

then you get two scoops
of ice cream with sprinkles.

YOLO, Tina.

You know? I got to say,

it feels kind of good

splurging on things
you don't necessarily need.

I might have a little Diddy
in me after all.

- You know.
- Uh-oh. Hey, hey. Hey, hey.

Get it, get it, baby. Get it.

Take that, take that.

We have a surprise for you, Calvin.

I went and got the same jacket.

Jacket twins.

Wow.

Okay, I see you walking.

- That's right.
- Walk it out, baby.

- Okay. Walk it.
- Get it, Dave.

- And two and three, and walk it out.
- All right.

Walk it out. Walk it out.

Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com