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1
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:12,135
♪ I CAN'T WAIT TO TALK
TO PAULA TODAY ♪
2
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:16,835
♪ I HAD THE DREAM
ABOUT THE OATMEAL AGAIN ♪
3
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:21,150
♪ PAULA DIDN'T
COME HOME LAST NIGHT ♪
4
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:25,754
♪ I HOPE THAT SHE'S OK ♪
5
00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:30,257
AU REVOIR,
PROFESSOR.
6
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:32,733
TU ES MAGNIFIQUE,CHéRIE.
7
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:34,862
UH-HUH.
HUH, HUH, HUH...
8
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:38,528
♪ I WAS WORRIED PAULA
WAS OUT GETTING LAID ♪
9
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:42,368
♪ BUT SHE GOT A JOB
WORKING AS A NIGHT MAID ♪
10
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,465
GOOD MORNING,
JOHNNY.
11
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,306
PAULA, I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA
OF YOU WORKING ALL NIGHT.
12
00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:47,242
IF YOU NEED MONEY,
13
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,707
I COULD ASK PEOPLE
ON THE STREET FOR CHANGE.
14
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,106
THAT'S SWEET OF YOU, JOHNNY,
BUT I WASN'T WORKING.
15
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:57,249
MY SEXY AND SOPHISTICATED
FRENCH POETRY PROFESSOR
16
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:01,387
MADE ME STAY AFTER CLASS
FOR ABOUT 12 HOURS.
17
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,394
[PAULA SIGHS]
18
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,555
WE DISCUSSED
MY TRANSFORMATION
19
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,563
FROM A GIRL TO A WOMAN.
20
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,385
I HAD A DREAM
IT WAS RAINING OATMEAL.
21
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:12,531
PROFESSOR DUBOIS' DREAMS ARE SO
MUCH MORE COMPLEX THAN THAT.
22
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:15,569
HE DREAMS OF CAVIAR
AND OYSTERS.
23
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,295
WOW! THAT IS SOPHISTICATED.
24
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,411
WELL, HE IS A PROFESSOR.
25
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,543
ALL MY PROFESSORS
ARE AMAZING.
26
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:27,879
IT'S JUST SO NICE TO BE AROUND
SOMEONE I RESPECT FOR A CHANGE.
27
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:30,517
HAVE A GOOD DAY
OF BEGGING, JOHNNY.
28
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,293
RESPECT, HUH?
29
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,192
I DON'T GET NO RESPECT.
30
00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:35,194
WHAT A THRILL.
31
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,185
THERE'S MY ANGEL
OF THE MORNING.
32
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:42,257
MAMA...IS IT WET IN HERE,
OR IS IT JUST ME?
33
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,369
GOD...YOU'RE STRONG, MAMA.
34
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:47,231
I'M GETTIN' TOO OLD
FOR THIS CRAP!
35
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,900
I HAVE A GOOD MIND
TO LET YOU GET A RASH,
36
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:52,539
YOU...INCONTINENT RUMMY!
37
00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:54,665
MAMA...I'M ITCHY.
38
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:55,641
YOU'RE ALWAYS ITCHY.
39
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:59,178
YOU WERE AN ITCHY BABY,
YOU'RE AN ITCHY DRUNK,
40
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:01,645
AND THIS IS NOT
A MOTHER'S JOB.
41
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:03,354
THIS IS A WIFE'S JOB!
42
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:04,276
OUCH!
43
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,350
YOU NEED A GODDAMN WIFE!
44
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:07,489
YOU CAN MOVE IN
WITH HER...
45
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,924
PISS ALL OVER
HER FUCKIN' HOUSE.
46
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,589
I FEEL LIKE
A BIG BOY NOW.
47
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:14,688
AND YOUR NEW WIFE CAN TAKE
CARE OF YOU AND JOHNNY.
48
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,231
I'LL HAVE THE WHOLE HOUSE
TO MYSELF.
49
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:21,327
FINALLY! FINALLY, TO GET OUT
OF THAT LOUSY BASEMENT!
50
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:24,601
YOU KNOW THERE'S
SPORES DOWN THERE?
51
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,947
HELL, NO. I GOT A CHICK
COMIN' OVER IN 15 MINUTES.
52
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:34,883
IF I LET YOU
LIGHT UP NOW,
53
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,348
IT'LL BE GONE BY THE TIME
SHE GETS HERE.
54
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:38,787
[GROWLING]
55
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:38,787
[CHUCKLES]
56
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:40,551
SORRY, BUDDY.
I CAN'T DO IT.
57
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,760
I DON'T WANT YOUR HIGH ASS
BLOWIN' UP MY SCENE.
58
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:45,334
[GROWLING]
59
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,191
OHH! AHH! [GIGGLES]
60
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:49,329
SHIT! BEAUTIFUL! OH!
SHIT! BEAUTIFUL! OH!
61
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,625
ANGUS!
62
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,540
[WHIMPERS]
63
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:02,739
ANGUS, THAT WAS
A $50,000 TV.
64
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:03,579
THAT CAN BE REPLACED...
65
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:07,653
BUT MY FIRST BONG--
OLD ETHEL--NEVER.
66
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:08,951
SON, THIS WAS
67
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,645
MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER'S
BONG,
68
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:12,347
WHO PASSED IT ON
TO YOUR GRANDFATHER,
69
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,488
WHO GAVE IT TO ME.
70
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:16,323
AND NOW
I GIVE IT TO YOU.
71
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,589
HER NAME IS...
ETHEL.
72
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,757
YOU'VE DESTROYED
MY MOST PRECIOUS KEEPSAKE.
73
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,856
[GROWLING]
74
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,856
NOW NO ONE CAN GET HIGH...
75
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,328
YOU SELFISH
BONG-BREAKIN' FERRET.
76
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,597
[GROWLING]
77
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:26,725
DON'T BRING
A SHARD OF GLASS
78
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:30,269
TO A KNIFE FIGHT,
MY FRIEND.
79
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,743
[GROWLING]
80
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,743
[DOORBELL RINGS]
81
00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:36,738
YOU'RE SO LUCKY.
82
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,709
HEE HEE HEE HEE
HAH HAH HAH!
83
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:39,808
HEY.
84
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,509
HEY.
85
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:46,694
SORRY, ANGUS.
86
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,418
[MUTTERING]
87
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,634
THANKS SO MUCH FOR MEETING
WITH ME, MR. STANKY.
88
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,733
JOHNNY, I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD
89
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,495
TO THIS CHERRY PIE
ALL DAY,
90
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,773
AND I'D LIKE
TO ENJOY IT IN PEACE.
91
00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,072
THAT'S
A NICE-LOOKING PIE.
92
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,444
ANYWAY,
I WANT TO BE A T.A.
93
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,943
FOR YOUR BIOLOGY CLASS.
94
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:07,774
HOLD ON. THE PIE'S
SAYING SOMETHING.
95
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:08,710
WHAT'S THAT?
96
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,305
I ALREADY HAVE
A T.A.?
97
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,076
THAT'S FOR POINTING
THAT OUT, PIE.
98
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,875
SORRY, JOHNNY.
THE PIE HAS SPOKEN.
99
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:18,917
TELL THE PIE THAT 2 T.A.s
ARE BETTER THAN ONE.
100
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,916
THE PIE SAYS IT DOESN'T
LOOK GOOD FOR ME
101
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,588
TO HAVE FAILING STUDENTS
AS TEACHING ASSISTANTS.
102
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,688
AND NOW BACK TO THE PIE.
103
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,530
[CRYING]
OHH...OHH...OHH...
104
00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:30,855
PLEASE STOP THAT.
105
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:31,800
[CRYING]
106
00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:35,444
PLEASE? JUST
FOR ONE CLASS?
107
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,841
ALL RIGHT.
ME AND THE PIE
108
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:40,043
ARE GOING ON VACATION ANYWAY,
SO WHO CARES?
109
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:44,406
OHHH...OH, MR. STANKY,
YOU WON'T REGRET THIS!
110
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,947
HA HA HA! I PROMISE!
111
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,013
THE CARIBBEAN?
112
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,951
[USING ALTERNATE PRONUNCIATION]
OR THE CARIBBEAN?
113
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,554
MM-HMM! AH!
114
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:55,119
HERE WE ARE.
115
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,958
"LOVEGEYSER.COM.
116
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,694
SPRAYIN' LOVE
EVERYWHERE."
117
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,890
PERFECT!
118
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:02,861
"NAME."
119
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:06,699
DOUGLAS JENKINS.
120
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:07,826
UH, "PROFILE."
121
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:11,800
PATHETIC WINO SEEKS SUGAR MAMA
TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
122
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,611
YEAH, I BETTER
MASSAGE THAT A LITTLE.
123
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:16,643
AH. DELICIOUS
PIECE OF ARM CANDY
124
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:19,409
LOOKIN' FOR A GENEROUS
ARM TO HANG ONTO.
125
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:20,849
YOU BUY ME DINNER,
126
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,483
I'LL BE YOUR
FUZZY LITTLE BEAR.
127
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,719
HAH HAH HAH!
I LIKE IT.
128
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:28,924
YOU GIVE ME A HOME,
AND I'LL NEVER LEAVE IT!
129
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,862
HA HA HA!
HOLY SHIT!
130
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,134
WHOO! THAT WAS FAST!
131
00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:34,492
THERE MUST BE
A LOT OF LONELY,
132
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,000
DESPERATE MONEYBAGS
SITTIN' AROUND.
133
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,733
ALL RIGHT!
[CHUCKLES]
134
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,398
"I'M LOOKIN' FOR THE OBJECT
OF MY DESIRES,
135
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:44,867
AND MONEY IS NO OBJECT."
HA HA HA HA!
136
00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:47,137
A BINGO! YEAH!
137
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,736
♪ I'M GONNA BE A T.A. ♪
138
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:50,709
PAULA!
139
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:51,707
HEY, JOHNNY.
140
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:52,708
GUESS WHAT.
141
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,479
I'M TEACHING
A CLASS TOMORROW...
142
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:57,877
JUST LIKE ONE OF YOUR
AMAZING PROFESSORS!
143
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,020
OH. WHAT CLASS?
144
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:00,916
IT'S BIOLOGY.
145
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:04,557
DO YOU WANNA COME
WATCH ME TEACH TOMORROW?
146
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,664
SURE. BIOLOGY?
147
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,596
OOH, THAT'S
A REALLY TOUGH SUBJECT.
148
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:12,102
IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT,
149
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,795
YOU'D LOOK SO STUPID.
150
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:15,896
SO STUPID.
151
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,968
I'M PROUD OF YOU,
JOHNNY.
152
00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,507
[UNEASILY]
THANKS, PAULA.
153
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:22,042
WELL...
I'LL SEE YOU...
154
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,508
[CHEERFULLY]
IN THE MORNING!
155
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:25,877
Betsy: SO...
WHAT'S THE THREAD COUNT
156
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,105
ON THIS COMFORTER,
ANYWAY?
157
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,180
Clay: JESUS. IF WE'RE GONNA
GET THAT PERSONAL,
158
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,648
I'M GONNA
HAVE TO RELAX.
159
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,985
[CHOKING AND SPUTTERING]
160
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,493
Clay:
DON'T FUCKIN' SCRATCH MY DOORS, YOU DICK.
161
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:37,756
THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE
GETTIN' HIGH IN HERE
162
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,234
WITHOUT YOUOR MY FAVORITE BONG.
163
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,155
[CHITTERING]
164
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,859
[GROWLING]
165
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:45,801
[ALARM RINGING]
166
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,565
THAT SON OF A BITCH.
167
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,073
ANGUS!
168
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:52,809
[CHITTERING]
169
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:55,881
URRRHHH...
170
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,182
YEAH!
171
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,153
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,
ANGUS?
172
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,652
YOU MUST THINK
I'M AN IDIOT.
173
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,653
NICE TRY,
THOUGH.
174
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,175
LOOK AT YOU! OHHH...
175
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:07,720
WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE
A SON LIKE THIS?!
176
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,887
MAMA, I'M GOIN'
DOWN THE DRAIN.
177
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:13,126
MORE LIKE THE TOILET,
YOU DRUNKEN TURD!
178
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:16,032
NOW, LOOK...I FOUND A WOMAN
ON THE INTERNET FOR YOU,
179
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:18,025
AND YOU'RE HAVIN' LUNCH
WITH HER.
180
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:21,597
AND...IT'S YOUR JOB TO WOO
THE PANTS OFF OF HER
181
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,497
SO I DON'T HAVE TO DO
THIS SHIT NO MORE! GET IT?!
182
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:26,611
WHERE IS MY HEAD
183
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,642
IN RELATION TO MY LEGS
RIGHT NOW, MAMA?
184
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:30,439
UP YOUR ASS!
185
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,549
NOW, GET YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP,
DOUGIE.
186
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,922
YOU HIT THE AUCTION BLOCK
TOMORROW AT NOON.
187
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:40,552
[DRUNKENLY]
WHEE! I'M IN SPACE!
188
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,120
AAH!
189
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,731
DON'T YOU JUST
LOVE SPOONING?
190
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,303
NOT AFTER I CUM.
OR BEFORE.
191
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,632
I HATE THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE
SO SOON AFTER WE MAKE LOVE.
192
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:54,699
IT DOESN'T
GIVE US ANY TIME
193
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,537
FOR DISCUSSING
OUR FEELINGS.
194
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:57,972
YEAH, THAT'S ONE
OF THE BIG DRAWBACKS.
195
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,967
IF ONLY WE COULD SPEND
THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER.
196
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,780
BUT YOU CAN'T
BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO FLY,
197
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,083
AND IT SHOWS.
198
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,854
[PAGER BEEPS]
199
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:09,583
[GASPS] GREAT NEWS,CLAY.
200
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:10,479
MY FLIGHT WAS DELAYED.
201
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:14,719
WE CAN STAY JUST
LIKE THIS FOR HOURS.
202
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:15,917
GREAT.
203
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:19,828
I LOVE WRAPPING MY STRONG ARMS
AROUND YOUR WAIFISH FRAME.
204
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:20,962
DO YOU LIKE IT?
205
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,827
I LIKE IT JUST FINE.
206
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,295
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
207
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:27,233
MMM. BABY SPOON.
208
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,170
SPEAK.
209
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,574
CLAY,
I'M LATE FOR CLASS!
210
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,695
I NEED TO GET TO SCHOOL
FERRARI FAST.
211
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:32,641
COOL.
BE RIGHT THERE, JOHNNY.
212
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:35,105
SORRY, BABE, GOTTA GO.
MY FRIEND JUST CALLED.
213
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:36,944
HE SAID MY FERRET'S SICK.
214
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,639
EW!
215
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,106
THANKS, CLAY.
216
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:41,980
UNH!
217
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,978
GIMME THAT JACKET!
THAT'S YOUR FATHER'S!
218
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,720
I JUST THOUGHT
I COULD BORROW IT.
219
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:46,785
HE NEVER WEARS IT.
220
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,092
YEAH? WELL, HE'S
WEARING IT TODAY.
221
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:52,155
MAMA, YOU DIDN'T PUT OUT
MY CLOTHES TODAY.
222
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,994
I LAID OUT YOUR PANTS,
DIDN'T I?
223
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:58,330
NOW GO BACK INSIDE.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE A SPECTACLE.
224
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,740
NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR
GRANDMA THROW YOU TO SCHOOL.
225
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,214
YOU'LL GET THERE
A LOT QUICKER.
226
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,354
HI, JOHNNY.
227
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:13,311
HI!
228
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:14,609
SEE YOU INSIDE.
229
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,150
NICE. WHO IS SHE?
230
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:16,945
THAT'S CLAUDIA.
231
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:18,046
SHE'S THE OTHER
TEACHING ASSISTANT.
232
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:22,087
WELL, I MAY JUST HAVE TO
AUDIT THIS CLASS OF YOURS.
233
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:22,964
I'M TOUCHED.
234
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,022
I COULD USE
THE MORAL SUPPORT RIGHT NOW.
235
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:27,791
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
WITH PAULA COMING.
236
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:28,890
I WANT TO IMPRESS HER.
237
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,031
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
238
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,026
YOU GO AHEAD, JOHNNY.
239
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,697
I'LL BE THERE IN A SEC.
240
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:33,365
OK. SEE YOU.
241
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:34,932
I DON'T CARE
HOW HOT SHE IS.
242
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:39,211
I'M NOT SITTING THROUGH THAT
CLASS WITHOUT GETTIN' HIGH.
243
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:41,640
[LAUGHS]
244
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:42,377
[LAUGHING]
245
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:44,081
SORRY, BRO,
YOU BROKE OLD ETHEL.
246
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,883
THERE'S NO WAY I'M LETTING YOU
TOUCH CATHERINE.
247
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:49,376
[GROWLING]
248
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,650
HOW MANY TIMES
DO I GOTTA TELL YOU?
249
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,388
NO HORSEPLAY
IN THE FERRARI.
250
00:10:58,257 --> 00:10:59,727
HI, PAULA.
251
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,832
HI, PROFESSOR JENKINS.
252
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:03,834
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
253
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:09,736
I GOT ATTACKED BY...
MY FRONT LAWN.
254
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:10,936
[CLEARS THROAT]
255
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,173
GOOD MORNING, CLASS.
256
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,138
HEY, JOHNNY.
257
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,035
MR. STANKY
IS ON VACATION,
258
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,707
SO I WILL BE
TEACHING THE CLASS TODAY.
259
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:18,607
[ALL BOOING]
260
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:20,007
Student: WHO THE HELL
ARE YOU TO TEACH US?
261
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,149
Second student:
AREN'T YOU FAILING?
262
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:23,154
COME ON.
263
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:24,275
WAY TO GO.
264
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,380
[SEXY MUSIC PLAYING]
265
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:28,821
I JUST HAD TO POWDER MY NOSE.
HAVE WE STARTED YET?
266
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,288
NOT YET.
267
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,293
OH, GOOD.
268
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,158
GOOD MORNING, CLASS.
269
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:36,996
OH, YEAH, BABY,
RIGHT ON. RIGHT ON.
270
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,803
GOOD MORNING, CLAUDIA.
271
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,004
HEY, HEAT MISER!
272
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:43,196
GET YOUR HAIR OUT OF THE WAY
SO I CAN SEE THE BLACKBOARD.
273
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:44,899
[GROWLING]
274
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,810
HOW'S YOUR VIEW NOW?
275
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:47,912
MAMA, I'M NERVOUS.
276
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:51,383
I'VE BEEN OUT OF THE DATING
SCENE FOR A WHILE NOW.
277
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,314
MAYBE I SHOULD
HAVE A DRINK.
278
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,879
NO! LISTEN UP!
279
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,277
YOU'RE STAYING SOBER
FOR THIS ONE.
280
00:11:57,349 --> 00:11:59,089
SEE, THE SECRET
TO DATING...
281
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:02,421
IS HIDING
WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
282
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,018
[CACKLING]
283
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,220
[CAR PULLS UP]
284
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,961
OH, MY GOD!
SHE'S HERE!
285
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,366
WHAT A COW.
286
00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:17,374
YEAH, A CASH COW!
287
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:20,406
AND YOU BETTER
MAKE THIS WORK!
288
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:25,336
NOW, WHEN I SAY GENE,
289
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:29,421
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT BUTTON FLY
OR ACID WASHED.
290
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:34,852
I'M TALKING
ABOUT GENE...ETICS.
291
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,792
GENETICS! RIGHT?
292
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:40,357
I GOT A BIOLOGY QUESTION
FOR YOU, CLAUDIA.
293
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,956
WAS IT YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER
WHO CARRIED THE HOTTIE GENE?
294
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:46,498
WAS IT YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER
WHO CARRIED THE JERK OFF GENE?
295
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:47,995
Students: OOH!
296
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,497
♪ SHE THINKS
YOU'RE A JERK OFF ♪
297
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,969
VIC, DON'T BE
A SHOW BOAT.
298
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,338
CLAY'S NEW
TO THE CLASS,
299
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:55,806
AND HE'S JUST
TRYING TO FIT IN.
300
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,205
THANKS, TEACH, BUT I DON'T THINK
I NEED PROTECTION
301
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:58,937
FROM A GUY
WHO GOT BEAT UP
302
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,151
BY HIS GRANDMOTHER
THIS MORNING.
303
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:02,883
[CLASS LAUGHS]
304
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,218
SHE JUST STRIPPED ME OF--
305
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,923
WHY DID YOUR GRANDMA
STRIP YOU?
306
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,445
HE ASKED HER TO.
HE'S HARD UP.
307
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,990
YOU'RE TERRIBLE,
CLAY ZEEMAN!
308
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,026
BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS,
309
00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,264
YOUR TEACHER,
JOHNNY JENKINS,
310
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:18,028
COULDN'T GET LAID
IN A HEN HOUSE.
311
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:19,167
QUIT IT.
312
00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:23,141
THAT'S WHAT JOHNNY'S MOM SAID
RIGHT BEFORE SHE LEFT.
313
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,799
YOU'RE A HOOT.
314
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,310
WANT TO SEE
MY FERRARI?
315
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,112
SURE.
316
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,113
CLASS, LET'S TAKE
A 10-MINUTE BREAK.
317
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,275
All: AWW!
318
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,208
JUST 10 MINUTES, RIGHT?
319
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,850
ARE YOU OK, JOHNNY?
320
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:37,945
THAT CLAY
IS A MONSTER.
321
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,247
OH, HE'S NOT SO BAD.
322
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:42,958
IT WAS NICE OF HIM TO COME TO
CLASS AND SUPPORT ME.
323
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:43,692
WHEN HE GETS BACK,
324
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,486
I'M GONNA KICK HIM
IN THE GONADS.
325
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,988
HEY, JOHNNY,
MAYBE SHE COULD BEAT UP
326
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:50,129
YOUR GRANDMA FOR YOU
AFTERWARDS, TOO, HUH?
327
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,256
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT, PAULA.
328
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,131
I'LL HANDLE IT MYSELF.
329
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,269
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO BACK TO YOUR SCHOOL
330
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,104
AND SEE THAT SEXY
FRENCH PROFESSOR
331
00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,410
YOU LIKE SO MUCH.
332
00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:01,611
OK, JOHNNY.
333
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:08,882
COME ON, DOUGIE!
WOO HER! WOO HER!
334
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,218
DO YOU LIKE SANDWICHES?
335
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,153
HMM. I GUESS YOU DO.
336
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:17,119
SO, WHERE DO YOU GET
A DRESS THAT BIG?
337
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,633
I BEG YOUR PARDON!
338
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:25,602
HEY, YOU LOVE BIRDS,
HOW ABOUT A BLOODY MARY?
339
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:27,604
ALL RIGHT!
340
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,444
THIS ONE GOES OUT
TO LEONA VESPER...
341
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:35,473
♪ THE MINUTE YOU ROLLED
THROUGH THE DOOR ♪
342
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,411
♪ BUM BUM ♪
343
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:40,475
♪ I COULD TELL YOU WERE
A REAL RICH LADY ♪
344
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,206
A REAL RICH LADY!
345
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:45,421
♪ HEY RICH LADY ♪
346
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:48,294
♪ HEY RICH LADY ♪
347
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,894
♪ HEY RICH LADY ♪
348
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:53,125
♪ SPEND A LITTLE
MONEY ON ME ♪
349
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:54,432
[CRASH]
350
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:55,463
Leona: DEAR?
351
00:14:55,527 --> 00:15:00,197
DEAR, CAN WE GET ANOTHER
PITCHER OF THOSE, PLEASE?
352
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,950
Clay's voice:
NOW NO ONE CAN GET HIGH,
353
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:16,222
YOU SELFISH
BONG-BREAKIN' FERRET.
354
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,586
CLAUDIA SHOULD
BE BACK BY NOW.
355
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,615
LET'S FACE IT. SHE'S GONE.
356
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,530
SHE'S NOT COMING BACK.
357
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,592
OUR LIVES ARE RUINED!
358
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,961
CALM DOWN, EVERYONE.
359
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,929
LET'S JUST GET BACK
TO THE LESSON.
360
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:32,597
FUCK THE LESSON!
361
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,025
HOW CAN WE GET HER
BACK HERE?
362
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:34,969
JOHNNY'S HIS FRIEND.
363
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:38,304
LET'S HOLD HIM HOSTAGE
AS RANSOM FOR CLAUDIA.
364
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:41,240
NO! JOHNNY'S ONE OF US!
365
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,337
COME ON, GUYS,
STOP KIDDING AROUND.
366
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:47,180
NO! THAT'S A HORRIBLE IDEA!
367
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:50,346
AHH!
368
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:53,046
JOHNNY, HELP.
369
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,092
AAH! COME ON!
370
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:58,164
LET'S CALL
YOUR GIRLFRIEND NOW.
371
00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:00,061
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
372
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,525
HOLD, PLEASE. SPEAK.
373
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:02,433
BRING THE GIRL BACK
374
00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:04,404
OR WE'RE GONNA TORTURE
YOUR FRIEND JOHNNY.
375
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,003
WHO IS THIS?
376
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,003
IT'S ME, VIC.
377
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,730
WHO IS THIS?
378
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,730
IT'S ME, VIC.
379
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,469
I DON'T KNOW
ANY VIC.
380
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,673
YOU MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
381
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:10,665
[RING]
382
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:11,336
SPEAK.
383
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:13,343
IT'S VIC
FROM BIOLOGY CLASS.
384
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:16,075
REMEMBER YOU SCARED ME
WITH THE FERRET?
385
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:16,741
HMM...
386
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,409
I'LL E-MAIL YOU
A PICTURE.
387
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,307
NOW I REMEMBER.
388
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:20,278
YOU'RE
THAT DORKY ASSWIPE
389
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:21,606
FROM THE CLASS TODAY,
RIGHT?
390
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,750
YEAH! ANYWAY, IF YOU DON'T
BRING CLAUDIA BACK,
391
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:28,087
WE'RE GONNA TORTURE
YOUR FRIEND JOHNNY REAL BAD.
392
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,393
JOHNNY'S BEEN TORTURED
BY SICKER PEOPLE THAN YOU.
393
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:31,586
HAVE YOU MET HIS FAMILY?
394
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,257
NO. ARE THEY NICE?
395
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,325
JOHNNY CAN TAKE
WHATEVER YOU DISH OUT.
396
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,703
[EXHALING]
397
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,570
AHA!
398
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,639
[SNIFFING]
399
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,119
[GURGLING]
400
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,791
NOT SO FAST,
MY LITTLE FURRY FRIEND.
401
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,431
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE WAGER
BEFORE WE LIGHT UP?
402
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:15,197
LET'S SEE WHO CAN SMOKE
THE MOST WEED.
403
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,668
IF YOU OUT-SMOKE ME,
YOU GET THIS KICK-ASS HOOKA
404
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:22,067
AND IT'S NEVER-ENDING SUPPLY
OF WACKY TOBACKY.
405
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:26,411
AND IF I OUT-SMOKE YOU,
I GET YOUR SOUL.
406
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,478
OK. READY?
407
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,789
HOSES UP. GO.
408
00:17:32,851 --> 00:17:35,551
[BOTH INHALING]
409
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,162
[COUGHING]
410
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,556
OH, MAN, THAT'S IT.
411
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:43,658
I CAN'T SMOKE ANYMORE.
412
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,699
I SHOULD HAVE STUCK
TO THE FIDDLE.
413
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:48,434
[COUGHING]
414
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,570
TA DA!
415
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:53,165
THAT'S RIGHT, ANGUS,
YOU'RE THE WINNER.
416
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,468
AND HERE'S YOUR HOOKA.
417
00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,710
[DEVIL LAUGHS]
418
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:02,448
YOU GOT ALL THE WEED
YOU'LL EVER NEED,
419
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:05,254
BUT YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE.
420
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:07,287
[LAUGHING]
421
00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:08,852
1, 2...
422
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:09,591
CHA CHA--
423
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,155
OH, GOD, HOW DOES
THAT GO AGAIN?
424
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,594
OOH! HE'S GREAT,
ISN'T HE?
425
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,460
OH, HE'S VERY,
VERY ENTERTAINING.
426
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:20,569
THEY'RE GOING
TO ADORE HIM AT CANNES.
427
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:21,802
OK, SO WHAT'S
THE DEAL?
428
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,537
HAVE YOU SEEN ENOUGH
OR WHAT?
429
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,572
HE'S ALL PACKED
AND READY TO GO.
430
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:28,707
I MUST ADMIT, I LIKE
WHAT I'VE SEEN SO FAR.
431
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:33,754
BUT, WELL, I HAVEN'T
SEEN IT ALL, NOW HAVE I?
432
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:38,182
OF COURSE.
I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY.
433
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:40,415
Dad: HELLO!
434
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:45,216
OOH! AND LOOK AT THE WONDERFUL
MARBLING HERE!
435
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,560
THAT'S MY DOUGIE.
436
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,325
I'M AWFULLY PROUD.
437
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,700
AAH! OW!
438
00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:56,565
I DON'T THINK
HE CAN TAKE ANYMORE.
439
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,165
OK, WE'LL CALL CLAY AGAIN.
440
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,668
[RING]
441
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:01,369
SPEAK.
442
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,640
YOUR BOY'S
NOT DOING TOO WELL,
443
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:05,278
BUT DON'T TAKE
MY WORD FOR IT.
444
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:08,284
AAH! CLAY! CLAY!
445
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:09,407
OW!
446
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,521
PLEASE BRING
CLAUDIA BACK!
447
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,353
SO, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THAT?
448
00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:14,518
YOU READY
TO DO BUSINESS?
449
00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:17,256
I DON'T NEGOTIATE
WITH TERRORISTS.
450
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:21,262
HOW COULD I EVER THINK SOMEONE
EVER TRADE YOU FOR CLAUDIA?
451
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,296
HE'S NOT COMING
TO GET ME?
452
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:24,232
NOPE.
453
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:25,056
AWW!
454
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:25,056
AWW!
455
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:28,230
NOW WE'LL NEVER SEE
HOT CLAUDIA AGAIN.
456
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,300
NEVER AGAIN.
457
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:30,738
LET'S SHAVE HIS HEAD!
458
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:32,402
NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
459
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:33,311
HEY, ASSMAR,
460
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:35,542
YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF
A HEAD SHAVE, TOO.
461
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:37,607
NO!
462
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,414
WHO KEEPS CALLING YOU?
463
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:41,909
SOUNDS LIKE JOHNNY'S
HAVING A TOUGH TIME
464
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,380
HANDLING THAT CLASS.
465
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:45,318
THAT KID'S
SUCH A BITCH.
466
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:46,184
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
467
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:47,551
I SAID HE'S A BITCH.
468
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,249
NO ONE MAKES FUN
OF JOHNNY...
469
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:50,821
EXCEPT FOR ME...
470
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:52,959
HIS DAD,
HIS GRANDMA,
471
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,355
ANGUS, UM, GOKI,
AND PAULA...
472
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:57,598
SOMETIMES CHIP...
473
00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:58,803
AND THE MAILMAN
WHEN WE SEE HIM OCCASIONALLY...
474
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,404
AND I GUESS THE GUY
FROM THE RECORD STORE...
475
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:02,966
AND CARDINAL MALROONEY.
476
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,665
BUT YOU?
YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER.
477
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:07,814
YOU FUCKING
PIECE OF SHIT!
478
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,783
LOUIS, WE'VE GOT
A HOSTAGE SITUATION.
479
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:10,681
ASSEMBLE THE S.W.A.T. TEAM.
480
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:14,252
THESE SADDLEBAGS
CAN BE TOTALLY SUCKED OUT.
481
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:17,853
Leona: AND WE CAN PUT IN
SOME PEC IMPLANTS.
482
00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:20,686
LOOK HOW MUCH YOUNGER
HE LOOKS WHEN I DO THIS.
483
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,392
I DON'T WANT
TO BE ALL CUT UP.
484
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:26,264
OH, DON'T YOU WANT
TO BE PRETTY FOR ME?
485
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:28,955
AND I CAN GET YOU
ON THE DONOR LIST
486
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:30,757
FOR A NEW LIVER,
487
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:33,899
THEN YOU CAN DRINK
ALL YOU WANT.
488
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,566
LET THE SLICING BEGIN!
489
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,844
UH, YOU'RE
NOT EXPECTING ME
490
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,243
TO PAY FOR ANY
OF THIS, RIGHT?
491
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,635
NO, OF COURSE NOT, DEAR.
492
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,508
I'M HIS MAMA NOW.
493
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:47,306
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
494
00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:49,006
MAMA?
495
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,881
YES?
496
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,881
YES?
497
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,550
MOVE IN.
498
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:58,764
BALD AND TOOTHLESS
AT 19.
499
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,664
[CRASH]
500
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,663
AAH! NO!
501
00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,609
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS HOW
IT'S GONNA WORK.
502
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:23,778
I'M TAKING THE KID AND WE'RE
WALKING OUT OF HERE, SEE?
503
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,719
NO!
504
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,924
DON'T DO
ANYTHING STUPID.
505
00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:29,656
OH, I WON'T.
506
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,861
WHOA!
507
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:34,331
NICE.
508
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,333
GET HIM!
509
00:21:36,995 --> 00:21:38,995
YOU GUYS ARE HEAVY.
510
00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:44,401
I THINK SOMEONE'S GONNA BE
VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU SAFE.
511
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:46,539
JOHNNY!
512
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:48,912
NO! I'M HIS MAMA!
513
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,814
NO! I'M HIS MAMA!
514
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,876
WELL, THERE'S A SIMPLE WAY
TO SETTLE ALL OF THIS.
515
00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:59,315
WE'LL JUST SEE WHO
HE WANTS TO BE HIS MAMA.
516
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,324
GOOD IDEA, FATTIE.
517
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:02,386
NOW, COME TO MAMA,
518
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:07,434
AND I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
YOU EVER DREAMED OF.
519
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,432
DON'T LISTEN TO HER,
DOUGIE!
520
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,704
I'VE ALWAYS
TAKEN CARE OF YOU.
521
00:22:11,763 --> 00:22:13,633
I'M YOUR REAL MAMA.
522
00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:14,729
NO, NO, NO, NO.
523
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,700
COME TO MAMA.
524
00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:21,508
DOUGLAS JENKINS,
GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
525
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:23,377
Dad: I CAN'T DECIDE.
526
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:26,852
YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE
ONE BIG PERSON RIGHT NOW.
527
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:28,952
Leona: OH, MERCY!
528
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,854
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
529
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:33,386
WELL,
I'LL JUST CHANGE HIM.
530
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:34,992
I DO IT ALL THE TIME.
531
00:22:35,053 --> 00:22:38,123
NO, NO, NO. I WILL.
532
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:43,927
Grandma: HEY, HEY, HEY!
533
00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:46,925
YOU'RE NOT BREADING
A CUTLET DOWN THERE.
534
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:48,128
Leona: HE'S TENDER.
535
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,100
Dad: OOH!
536
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:51,937
DID YOU SAY CUTLETS?
537
00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:52,843
YEAH, YOU COW!
538
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:57,514
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU
LEAVE THIS TO AN EXPERT?
539
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:06,949
HYAH!
540
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,563
MAMA, I'M COLD.
541
00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:14,755
DAMN STRAIGHT!
542
00:23:14,826 --> 00:23:16,126
I'M YOUR MAMA!
543
00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,404
WAIT HERE, BOY,
544
00:23:17,462 --> 00:23:21,432
WHILE I TAKE OUT
THE TRASH.
545
00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:23,573
OUCH!
546
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:27,812
OOH! OOH! OH! OH! OW!
547
00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:34,507
I KNEW YOU'D COME
FOR ME, CLAY.
548
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,019
YEAH, SORRY I FUCKED UP
YOUR CHANCE TO IMPRESS PAULA.
549
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,522
BUT I'M GONNA
MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
550
00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:40,493
I CHOPPERED HER IN ALL THE WAY
FROM COCONUT COLLEGE.
551
00:23:40,552 --> 00:23:42,002
[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]
552
00:23:40,552 --> 00:23:42,002
WOW! SHE MADE GOOD TIME!
553
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,620
[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]
554
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,620
WOW! SHE MADE GOOD TIME!
555
00:23:42,687 --> 00:23:46,087
SHE ONLY LEFT HERE
13 MINUTES AGO.
556
00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:53,099
SO, WHAT DID I MISS?
557
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:53,995
YOU TWO HAVE FUN.
558
00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:55,965
JOHNNY'S GONNA GIVE YOU
A PRIVATE LESSON,
559
00:23:56,034 --> 00:23:57,904
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
560
00:23:57,969 --> 00:23:58,939
NICE.
561
00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:01,114
JOHNNY,
WHERE'S YOUR HAIR?
562
00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:04,883
UH, MOST OF IT'S
OVER THERE.
563
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:06,584
OH, LOOK AT YOU,
564
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:09,105
STANDING THERE
IN FRONT OF YOUR CLASSROOM.
565
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:12,481
YOU LOOK SO DISTINGUISHED
AND MATURE.
566
00:24:12,551 --> 00:24:14,491
JUST LIKE
MY HISTORY PROFESSOR.
567
00:24:14,553 --> 00:24:15,493
REALLY?
568
00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:17,124
YEAH.
EXCEPT HE HAS HAIR.
569
00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:19,589
BESIDES THAT,
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM.
570
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:21,458
TEACHING WAS
A LOT HARDER
571
00:24:21,526 --> 00:24:23,086
THAN I THOUGHT
IT WAS GOING TO BE.
572
00:24:23,161 --> 00:24:26,201
I'M SORRY YOU HAD
TO SEE ME LIKE THAT.
573
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,074
WELL,
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,
574
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:31,043
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT.
575
00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:34,240
OOPS.
YOU LOST SOMETHING.
576
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,636
[LISPING]
I'M SO EMBARRASSED.
577
00:24:37,709 --> 00:24:39,909
UH, YOU CAN HARDLY NOTICE.
578
00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:41,678
IT MAKES YOU LOOK OLDER,
ANYWAY.
579
00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:44,046
DO YOU REALLY THINK I COULD
BE A TEACHER SOMEDAY?
580
00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:48,145
I THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
YOU SET YOUR MIND TO, JOHNNY.
581
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:49,190
REALLY?
582
00:24:49,254 --> 00:24:49,894
SURE.
583
00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:51,715
I THINK YOU COULD
DO ANYTHING,
584
00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:54,130
GO ANYWHERE,
BE ANYBODY,
585
00:24:54,192 --> 00:24:55,862
DATE ANY GIRL,
586
00:24:55,927 --> 00:24:59,197
COOK ANY MEAL,
VACUUM ANY RUG,
587
00:24:59,264 --> 00:25:03,004
WAX ANY FLOOR,
TAKE OUT ANY GARBAGE.
588
00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:04,398
OH...
589
00:25:04,469 --> 00:25:07,239
WHEN YOU SAID,
"DATE ANY GIRL,"
590
00:25:07,305 --> 00:25:10,005
DID YOU MEAN
"ANY GIRL"?
591
00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:11,705
NOT JUST ANY GIRL.
592
00:25:11,776 --> 00:25:12,576
YOU NEED TO FIND A GIRL
593
00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:15,614
WHO LIKES TO SLEEP
WITH THEIR PROFESSORS.
594
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:20,520
GOOD LUCK, JOHNNY!
I KNOW SHE'S OUT THERE.
595
00:25:20,585 --> 00:25:21,285
YOU KNOW, MAMA,
596
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,223
YOU REALLY DO
BLOODY MARYS RIGHT.
597
00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:25,718
YEAH, WELL, JUST BECAUSE
I'M NOT WILLING
598
00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:28,090
TO GIVE YOU AWAY
TO SOME RICH ELEPHANT
599
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:31,899
DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT
AN EMBARRASSMENT AS A SON.
600
00:25:31,963 --> 00:25:32,733
OF COURSE, MAMA.
601
00:25:32,797 --> 00:25:34,697
Clay: ANGUS, BUDDY,
YOU SAVED THE DAY.
602
00:25:34,766 --> 00:25:35,696
YOU ROLLED IN,
603
00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:36,697
AND THOSE GEEKS
WENT DOWN FASTER
604
00:25:36,768 --> 00:25:40,568
THAN JOHNNY'S GRANDMA
AT A HUGE COCK CONVENTION.
605
00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:42,969
I GOT YOU SOMETHING AS
A TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION.
606
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:46,141
THAT'S RIGHT, BUDDY,
YOUR VERY OWN HOOKA...
607
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:48,051
VERONICA.
608
00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:50,283
[PURRING]
609
00:25:52,951 --> 00:25:55,591
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
610
00:25:55,641 --> 00:26:00,191
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