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1
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:12,069
SO ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR
HONEY-NUT LITTLE GIRLIE Os?
2
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,008
THEY'RE LEPRECHAUN Os.
3
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:15,142
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT
FLOATING AROUND IN THERE,
4
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,438
LITTLE MARSHMALLOW PANTIES?
5
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:18,580
HA HA HA HA.
6
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,375
YOUR SON'S
A PANTY EATER.
7
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,417
Dad and Grandma:
♪ PANTY EATER, PANTY EATER ♪
8
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,422
♪ JOHNNY'S A PANTY EATER ♪
9
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:25,424
[DOORBELL RINGS]
10
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:26,715
♪ THEY'RE
MYSTICALLY NUTRITIOUS ♪
11
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:27,716
YOU SHOULD TRY SOME.
12
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:28,787
BOY.
13
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,263
HELLO.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
14
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:35,355
I'M LOOKING FOR
A JOHNNY O'JENKINS.
15
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,228
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
16
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:41,096
YOU HAVE WON
A GLORIOUS PRIZE. IT'S THE--
17
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,397
JOHNNY, PAY ATTENTION.
18
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:46,409
THIS IS HOW A MAN HANDLES
BASIC SOCIAL INTERACTION.
19
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,513
GET OFF MY FRONT LAWN,
SHORTY!
20
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:52,405
YOU MESS WITH THE LEPRECHAUNS,
YOU GET THE CLOVERS.
21
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,679
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
YOU PERVERT!
22
00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:58,487
YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEAD, YOU FAT,
OLD, UGLY COCKSUCKER.
23
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,551
JOHNNY, IF YOU'RE EVER
IN A FIGHT WITH A MIDGET,
24
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:04,521
REMEMBER
THEY HAVE WEAK KIDNEYS.
25
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,331
NO! NOT MY KIDNEYS!
26
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,132
THEY'RE SO WEAK!
27
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,404
WELL, SHOULD
HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT
28
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,563
BEFORE YOU RANG MY DOORBELL.
29
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,401
SEE, JOHNNY?
YOUR OLD MAN'S STILL GOT IT.
30
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,797
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING,
BABY. OH, YEAH.
31
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:18,911
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.
32
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,042
LET IT BE A LESSON
TO YOU.
33
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:23,906
DAD, I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT
I'VE LEARNED HERE TODAY.
34
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:27,911
GOOD, NOW
CLEAN THIS MESS UP.
35
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,222
HOLY COW!
36
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,893
I WON THE LEPRECHAUN Os
SWEEPSTAKES.
37
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,692
CLAY, I WON
A FREE TRIP TO MEXICO.
38
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:36,885
YOU WANNA COME WITH ME?
39
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,116
MEXICO?
40
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:41,561
NO WAY. I'D RATHER SIT AT HOME
AND CHILL FOR THE NEXT WEEK.
41
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,898
COME ON.
IT'LL BE FUN.
42
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,899
NO. SITTING
AT HOME'S FUNNER.
43
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,770
IT'S "MORE FUN,"
NOT "FUNNER."
44
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:53,769
I WAS ABOUT TO AGREE,
45
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,740
BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE
CORRECTED ME,
46
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:56,638
I DON'T WANT TO GO.
47
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:58,509
WHAT ABOUT ANGUS?
WOULDN'T HE WANT TO GO?
48
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,178
ANGUS DOESN'T
LIKE MEXICO.
49
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,347
OH. I ALWAYS THOUGHT
HE LOVED IT.
50
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,616
OH, WELL, I CAN'T
CONVINCE BOTH OF YOU.
51
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,345
HOLD, PLEASE.
52
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,920
IF YOU CONTINUE
TO HOLD YOUR BREATH,
53
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:11,218
YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO
COME TO MEXICO WITH US.
54
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:12,791
ALL RIGHT, JOHNNY.
YOU CONVINCED ME.
55
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:13,589
WE'RE GOING TO MEXICO.
56
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,500
YAY! GREAT!
I'LL PACK AND COME OVER.
57
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:18,673
[CHATTERS]
58
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:20,896
HI, JOHNNY.
59
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:22,037
HI, PAULA.
60
00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:25,411
GOT SOME EXCITING PLANS
THAT INVOLVE THE BOTH OF US.
61
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:26,911
YOU DO?
62
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:26,911
IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME.
63
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,213
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
WEEKEND FOR A LONG TIME.
64
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:30,906
YOU HAVE?
65
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:33,347
YEAH,
I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF IT
66
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,253
SINCE
I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
67
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,775
BUT I'VE BEEN TOO EMBARRASSED
TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
68
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,990
THAT'S EXACTLY
HOW I FEEL, PAULA.
69
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,893
I'VE BEEN
DREAMING OF IT AS WELL.
70
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:45,255
MY WHOLE LIFE
I'VE WANTED TO...
71
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,785
YES? YES? YES?
72
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:48,729
GO TO PONY CAMP!
73
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:49,325
ME, TOO!
74
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,895
JOHNNY, ARE YOU GAY?
75
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,895
NO!
76
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:55,365
WELL, A GUY WANTING TO GO
TO PONY CAMP IS GAY.
77
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:56,795
IF YOU WANT,
I CAN FIND OUT
78
00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,669
IF THERE'S A PONY CAMP
FOR GAY GUYS.
79
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,808
BUT I'M NOT GAY.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE PONIES.
80
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,883
JOHNNY,
HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?
81
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,242
I'M SORRY. I DON'T
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
82
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,051
I'M DRUNK.
83
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,282
WELL, DON'T GET DRUNK
THIS WEEKEND,
84
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:11,418
BECAUSE I NEED YOU
TO TAKE CARE OF MY DOG TOOTSIE.
85
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:12,004
YOU DO?
86
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:12,004
YEAH.
87
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:12,220
YOU DO?
88
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:12,220
YEAH.
89
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,415
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
I TRUST ENOUGH,
90
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:17,287
WELL, WHO'S NOT DOING
ANYTHING THIS WEEKEND.
91
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,487
I'M FLATTERED.
92
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,688
I KNEW YOU'D
NEVER LET ME DOWN.
93
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,560
WELL, HERE
ARE ALL HER TOYS,
94
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,429
HER BLANKIES,
AND TREATS.
95
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,897
AND HERE'S TOOTSIE.
96
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,774
THERE'S MY RIDE.
THANKS, JOHNNY!
97
00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:38,906
I WISH SHE'D JUMP
ON MY FACE LIKE THAT.
98
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,381
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT
HIDING BACK THERE?
99
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,990
THE DAY YOU PULL
ONE OVER ON ME, KIDDO,
100
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:51,663
IS THE DAY I START
LACTATING AGAIN.
101
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,988
YOU CALL THIS
A PAYCHECK? HUH.
102
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,530
DON'T EXPECT ME
TO GO ANOTHER WEEK
103
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:57,796
WITHOUT GETTING
MY NAILS DONE.
104
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:02,344
AND IT'S COMING OUT
OF YOUR LIQUOR MONEY.
105
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:04,342
MA, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
106
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,774
IT'S THE ECONOMY.
107
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:06,838
EXCUSES!
108
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:10,876
MY FRIEND MADGE'S SON
JUST BOUGHT HER A NEW CAR.
109
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:13,013
AND WHEN SHE ASKS ME
ABOUT YOU,
110
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:15,049
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO SAY? HUH?!
111
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:18,694
YOU COULD SAY I JUST KICKED
A LEPRECHAUN'S ASS.
112
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,051
[SOBBING]
113
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,620
Y-YOU BREAK MY HEART.
114
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,790
YOU HAD SO MUCH PROMISE.
NOW LOOK AT YOU.
115
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:29,499
MA, I'M GONNA
MAKE YOU PROUD
116
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,732
AS SOON AS I GET
MY DRIVER'S LICENSE BACK.
117
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,928
YOU'LL SEE.
MY SALES'LL SKYROCKET.
118
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,840
WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE?
119
00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:44,976
UH, PARKING TICKETS?
120
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:48,084
HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO SELL ANYTHING
121
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:52,017
IF YOU CAN'T GET TO YOUR
ACCOUNTS? ASSHOLE.
122
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:52,815
WILL YOU DRIVE ME?
123
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,915
SIT UP STRAIGHT.
TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT.
124
00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:56,417
WIPE THAT SMIRK
OFF YOUR FACE.
125
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,659
COMB YOUR HAIR.
FIX YOUR TIE.
126
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,625
PEOPLE WON'T
TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY
127
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,103
IF YOU LOOK
LIKE A SLOB.
128
00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:05,101
YOUR FATHER WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN CAUGHT DEAD
129
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:06,634
WEARING THOSE PANTS.
130
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,469
ACTUALLY, THESE ARE
THE PANTS HE DIED IN.
131
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:10,765
NO SHIT?
132
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:11,937
HOW DID YOU
GET THOSE?
133
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:15,644
DAD, ARE YOU SURE
WE SHOULD BE DOING THIS?
134
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,408
I JUST BOUGHT HIM
THESE PANTS. SHUT UP!
135
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,808
OK, HERE'S
YOUR FIRST ACCOUNT.
136
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,080
LET'S JUST HOPE SOME OF YOUR
FATHER'S BUSINESS SAVVY
137
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:24,950
RUBBED OFF ON YOU.
138
00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:28,087
DON'T WORRY, MA.
IT'S ALL RUBBED OFF NOW.
139
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,224
WHEN
YOU GO IN THERE,
140
00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:32,088
DON'T TELL THEM WHY YOU
HAVEN'T BEEN COMING AROUND!
141
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,658
I'M NOT THAT STUPID, MA.
142
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,796
AND REMEMBER TO GIVE 'EM
A FIRM HANDSHAKE
143
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,532
AND MAKE EYE CONTACT.
144
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:38,457
RIGHT. EYE CONTACT.
145
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,671
I'M GONNA GO IN THERE
AND GIVE 'EM HELL, MA.
146
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:42,574
YOU'LL SEE.
147
00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:45,395
ZIP YOUR FLY, SCHMUCK.
148
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:46,971
IT'S OPEN.
149
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:47,939
I HAVE BAD NEWS.
150
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:48,877
I CAN'T GO TO MEXICO.
151
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,511
I HAVE TO TAKE CARE
OF PAULA'S DOG TOOTSIE.
152
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,477
WELL, THAT'S OK.
153
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,405
JUST GIVE ME THE TICKET,
AND I'LL BRING A GIRL.
154
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,580
OK.
155
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,831
PLEASE, ALLOW ME.
156
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,101
CLAY?
157
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:16,999
DAMN.
158
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:19,209
THIS BITCH HAS GOT
SOME KICKING PHEROMONES.
159
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,142
[SNIFFS]
160
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,078
I KNOW.
161
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:27,182
I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND
THE WEEKEND WITH HER.
162
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:28,646
HAVE FUN.
163
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:29,654
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
164
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:32,015
CAN'T WE TAKE HER
TO MEXICO?
165
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,664
NO, I DON'T THINK PAULA
WOULD WANT THAT. SEE YA!
166
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,133
BUT I WANNA GO
WITH YOU GUYS.
167
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,832
FINE.
♪ BUT I GET TO HOLD HER ♪
168
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:46,932
SO WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO OLD BOB HASSLET?
169
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:48,069
LIVER DISEASE.
170
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,504
MY RECORDS SHOW THAT NEITHER
YOU NOR YOUR UGLY PANTS
171
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,840
HAVE MADE A CALL ON US
FOR ALMOST 6 MONTHS.
172
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:57,105
I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE
RIGHT NOW!
173
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:00,252
HOW'D IT GO?
174
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,813
WHAT'S OUR NEXT STOP?
175
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,121
COME WITH ME!
176
00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:05,222
MA, DON'T!
YOU'LL EMBARRASS ME.
177
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:08,524
HEY, DIDN'T I JUST THROW YOU
OUT OF MY OFFICE?
178
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,118
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
179
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:16,660
COME.
SIT NEXT TO MOMMY.
180
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:19,229
GOOD BOY.
181
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,228
NOW, MR. CACKLEBAG,
182
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,270
HOW CAN I GET YOU AND MY SON
IN BED TOGETHER?
183
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:31,239
IN A BUSINESS
SENSE, OF COURSE.
184
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:32,610
I'M SORRY, MRS. JENKINS,
185
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,848
BUT THOSE PANTS
ARE OFFENSIVE.
186
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,253
I CAN'T DO BUSINESS WITH A MAN
WHO WEARS PANTS LIKE THOSE.
187
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,675
I WOULDN'T BUY OFFICE SUPPLIES
FROM THOSE PANTS
188
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:41,191
IF THE LAST PAPERCLIPS
ON EARTH WERE IN THOSE POCKETS.
189
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:44,124
I'VE SOLD THOUSANDS
OF PAPERCLIPS IN THESE PANTS.
190
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,630
LIKE HELL YOU HAVE!
191
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,231
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
SETTLE DOWN.
192
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:51,133
I'M SORRY. IT'S THE PANTS.
THEY MAKE ME CRAZY.
193
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:51,927
I'M SORRY, TOO.
194
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,898
THOSE PANTS
DRIVE ME CRAZY AS WELL.
195
00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:57,136
SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT
I'M UP AGAINST HERE.
196
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,843
IT'S NOT EASY
BEING A SINGLE MOM.
197
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:02,736
YOU KNOW, HIS DAD DIED
WHEN HE WAS 38,
198
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:07,548
AND, WELL, I'VE BEEN
RAISING HIM EVER SINCE.
199
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:08,853
THAT MUST BE HARD
FOR YOU.
200
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,545
MR. CACKLEBAG,
201
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:13,286
MY SON ISN'T USUALLY
THIS RAMBUNCTIOUS.
202
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,952
HE'S BEEN
INTO THE SUGAR.
203
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:18,061
I KNOW HOW THAT IS.
I HAVE A 4-YEAR-OLD MYSELF.
204
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,094
OH, THAT'S A FEISTY AGE.
205
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:21,029
WHAT'S YOUR BOY'S NAME?
206
00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:23,003
DIGGER, AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE IS FEISTY.
207
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,702
WHY, JUST YESTERDAY
208
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:26,834
HE WAS RUNNING AROUND THE PARK
NAKED CHASING DUCKS.
209
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:30,039
MY DOUGIE USED
TO DO THAT, TOO.
210
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:31,272
YEAH, HE DID.
211
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,767
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "USED TO"?
212
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:35,808
[DUCK QUACKING]
213
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,178
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
214
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,616
MAYBE WE DO NEED
SOME SUPPLIES AFTER ALL.
215
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,722
THANK YOU.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
216
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:46,745
YOU KNOW WHAT?
217
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:51,919
I'VE BEEN SO LONELY SINCE
HIS FATHER PASSED AWAY.
218
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:54,261
[CHUCKLES]
219
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,966
"FOR WHEN YOUR BITCH
IS IN HEAT
220
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,931
AND YOUR HANDS ARE FULL."
221
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,372
WE'RE NOT HERE FOR YOU,
ANGUS.
222
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,608
GO LOOK AT THE FISH.
223
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,335
QUIT IT, YOU FUCK!
224
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,659
PLEASE, GUYS,
LET'S STOP THIS
225
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,864
BEFORE SOMEONE
LOSES AN EYE.
226
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:31,128
Johnny:
DON'T WORRY, GIRL.
227
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,202
TRUCE! I GIVE UP.
228
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:36,096
YOU WIN.
HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
229
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,968
HERE'S A LITTLE
PEACE OFFERING.
230
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,068
HERE. LET ME HELP YOU
PUT IT ON.
231
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,240
HOW'S THAT, BUDDY?
YOU LIKE IT?
232
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,279
[CHIRPS]
233
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,053
GOOD.
234
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:54,250
BITCH.
235
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:01,860
[AS LEGOLAS]
GIMLI, I'VE SHOT 17 ORCS BY MY BOW.
236
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,397
AH, LEGOLAS THE ELF,
237
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:04,662
I'LL CATCH YOU YET.
238
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:07,300
I'VE SLAIN 16
WITH MY AXE
239
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,726
AND STILL COUNTING.
240
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,401
[NORMAL VOICE]
WE'RE LOSING HER.
241
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,809
WELL,
I JUST GAVE IT MY ALL.
242
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,742
JUST KEEP GOING.
243
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:16,407
MY ANCESTORS DID NOT DIE
244
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,105
IN THE MINES OF MORIA
IN VAIN!
245
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:22,207
WE'LL BE ROASTING
ORC MEAT TONIGHT. AAH!
246
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:26,090
YOU'RE BLOCKING HER VIEW.
247
00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:31,058
CLAY, I DON'T THINK SHE'S
SEEN LORD OF THE RINGS YET.
248
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:32,093
[SNEEZES]
249
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,458
OH, MY GOD.
DID YOU SEE THAT?
250
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,386
THAT WAS SO CUTE.
251
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,386
[SNEEZES]
252
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:37,001
DO YOU THINK
SHE'S CAUGHT A COLD?
253
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,763
MAYBE SHE'S ALLERGIC
TO SOMETHING.
254
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,831
BUT WHAT?
255
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,831
[SNEEZES]
256
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:51,178
ANGUS, YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THE
CLOSET UNTIL YOU'RE DE-LOUSED.
257
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:57,378
[SNEEZES]
258
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,185
[BEAUTIFUL PLAYING]
259
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:11,060
[LAUGHS SLYLY]
260
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,514
[LAUGHS]
261
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,950
[PURRS]
262
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:37,894
UURRGGHH!
263
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,499
YOU KNOW, I THINK I SHOULD
TAKE TOOTSIE HOME NOW.
264
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:46,534
YOU'RE NOT
TAKING HER ANYWHERE.
265
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,899
YOU CAN GO HOME AND
COME BACK IN THE MORNING.
266
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:49,738
PAULA GAVE HER TO ME!
267
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,772
THE OLSEN TWINS ARE
COMING OVER LATER.
268
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:55,207
I REALLY WANT THEM
TO SEE HER.
269
00:12:55,975 --> 00:13:00,875
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
ANGUS! COME ON OUT HERE.
270
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,546
HI, ANGUS.
271
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,384
I'M MICHAEL JACKSON'S
NOSE.
272
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,179
I HEAR YOU DON'T LIKE
THE WAY YOU LOOK.
273
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,991
YOU WANT TO BE WHITE
AND FLUFFY JUST LIKE ME.
274
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:12,933
WELL, COME ON.
YOUR DAY OF BEAUTY AWAITS.
275
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,232
Chorus:
♪ ANGUS, IF YOU WILL ♪
276
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,864
♪ TRUST IN THIS NOSE ♪
277
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:22,330
♪ AND ALL YOUR DREAMS
WILL BE FULFILLED ♪
278
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,171
♪ YOU'RE UGLY NOW ♪
279
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:28,066
♪ BUT THAT WILL SOON
BE IN THE PAST ♪
280
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:32,410
♪ AFTER YOUR
HOT BLEACH BATH ♪
281
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,878
♪ ANGUS, IF YOU WILL ♪
282
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,278
♪ DON'T BE AFRAID ♪
283
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:43,020
♪ TO HAVE YOUR
RODENT-LIKE BLOOD SPILLED ♪
284
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:45,018
♪ WE HAVE
TO SLASH AWAY... ♪
285
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:46,430
Nose: NOW THAT
YOU'RE WHITE,
286
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,062
THE REST IS EASY.
287
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:49,427
AND NOW
288
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,155
THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE,
289
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,200
BEN AFFLECK,
290
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:53,274
WILL GIVE YOU
A HAIRCUT.
291
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:57,942
SO, ANGUS, WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO HAVE DONE TODAY?
292
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,973
OH! YOU'RE GOING
FOR THE TOOTSIE!
293
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,210
WHEEEEE!
294
00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:08,847
WOOOOOO.
295
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,388
WOOOOO.
296
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:18,861
THAT'S MY LITTLE
FUZZY-WUZZY ANGUS.
297
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:19,964
SO CUTE.
298
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,625
[LAUGHS]
299
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:38,507
UUURRRGGGHHH!
300
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,152
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
301
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,248
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
302
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:47,546
[PSYCHO, GROUPIE,COCAINE, CRAZY PLAYING]
303
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,935
OK, NOW WHAT WAS
SO HARD ABOUT THAT?
304
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,602
LOOK,
I'M AN OLD LADY,
305
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,640
AND I
JUST MADE A SALE.
306
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:07,605
WHY CAN'T YOU?
307
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:10,313
UH, 'CAUSE
I'M NOT AN OLD LADY?
308
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:13,406
NO, BUT YOU ARE
A MIDDLE-AGED LUNKHEAD,
309
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,349
SO YOU HAVE TO USE THAT
TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.
310
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,645
"LUNKHEAD."
311
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:19,386
SO WHAT'S
THE GAME PLAN?
312
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:21,051
IT'S NOT THE PRODUCT
I'M SELLING.
313
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,120
IT'S ME...AND I'M
AS CHEAP AS THEY COME.
314
00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:28,028
NOW GET IN THERE
AND SELL, SELL, SELL!
315
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,333
YOU GOT IT, MA.
316
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:31,399
I'M OK.
317
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,673
THERE'S NO WAY
ANOTHER TAX REBATE
318
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:36,042
IS GOING TO STIMULATE
THE ECONOMY.
319
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,971
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
320
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,537
WAIT. WHERE'S TOOTSIE?
321
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,995
TOOTSIE?
322
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,995
PRETTY BABY?
323
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:42,010
TOOTSIE?
324
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:42,010
PRETTY BABY?
325
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:43,444
MUFFIN ASS?
326
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,439
TOOTSIE?
327
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:46,351
AAH!
328
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,952
[I FEEL LOVE PLAYING]
329
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:56,085
I'LL TAKE 3 ERASERS.
330
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,363
WHAT THE FUCK
IS THAT THING?
331
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,685
WE GOT A RAT.
332
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:03,229
ANGUS, WE GOT A RAT.
333
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,562
GO GET IT.
334
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,031
Johnny: THERE IT IS.
335
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,200
Clay: GET HIM!
336
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,038
THERE HE GOES!
337
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:12,502
Clay:
IT'S DISGUSTING.
338
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,265
WE GOT HIM NOW.
339
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,513
THANK GOD.
IT'S GONNA JUMP.
340
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:21,479
SO WHAT
WE'RE DEALING WITH
341
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:22,507
IS A HAIRLESS,
MUTANT RODENT
342
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:24,251
WITH SUICIDAL
TENDENCIES.
343
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,076
AH-CHOO!
344
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,950
TOOTSIE?
345
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,950
TOOTSIE?
346
00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:30,016
Both: NO!
347
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,119
THE CHICKEN HAWK
SAVED TOOTSIE.
348
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,461
LONG LIVE
THE CHICKEN HAWK.
349
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:37,156
AND NOW IT'S
GOING TO EAT HER.
350
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:38,399
OH, MY GOD.
351
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:40,204
PAULA'S
GOING TO KILL ME.
352
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:42,025
I KILLED HER DOG.
353
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,501
YOU DIDN'T
KILL HER DOG.
354
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:44,669
YOU GOT IT
KILLED.
355
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:45,467
THERE'S A BIG
DIFFERENCE.
356
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:48,607
WHY WAS SHE
SHAVED LIKE THAT ANYWAY?
357
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,314
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
358
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:54,147
LET'S CHECK
THE SECURITY TAPE.
359
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,545
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
360
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,418
THIS IS
ALL YOUR FAULT.
361
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:03,286
NOW THE WORLD HAS LOST
A BRIGHT, SHINING LIGHT.
362
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,715
WHY THE HELL DID
YOU SHAVE HER ANYWAY?
363
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,630
YOU'RE WORSE
THAN A FUCKING CAT.
364
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,032
GET THE HELL
OUT OF MY SIGHT!
365
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:09,864
I DON'T CARE IF
I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN.
366
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:12,458
MAYBE THERE'S
STILL TIME TO SAVE HER.
367
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,171
LET'S GO.
368
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:18,442
UHH!
369
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:29,476
[WHISTLES]
370
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:32,790
HOW ARE WE
GOING TO FIND HER?
371
00:17:32,851 --> 00:17:35,191
WE'RE NOT. WE'RE GOING TO
GET HER A NEW DOG.
372
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,364
NO, WAIT.
LET'S ASK THIS INDIAN.
373
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:40,093
HE MIGHT KNOW
HOW BIRDS THINK.
374
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,356
HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN
A CHICKEN HAWK
375
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,059
CARRYING
A SHAVED POMERANIAN?
376
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,230
OH, SURE,
I'VE SEEN 'EM.
377
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:48,029
WE ALL SEEN 'EM.
378
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,300
WE WERE ALL JUST
TALKING ABOUT THEM.
379
00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:52,743
WHO'S WE ALL?
380
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:56,235
ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS.
381
00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:59,238
WELL, CAN YOU
LEAD US TO THEM?
382
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,081
WHAT WILL YOU
TRADE ME FOR IT?
383
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:02,376
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU NAME IT.
384
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,248
THAT'S A SHINY BELT
BUCKLE YOU'RE WEARING.
385
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:08,247
I'D LIKE A BELT BUCKLE
LIKE THAT.
386
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:11,515
WHAT WERE YOU?
10 IN '92?
387
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,730
YOU GAVE IT TO ME
LAST YEAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
388
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,403
THAT WAS
THOUGHTFUL OF ME.
389
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:17,362
NOW GIVE IT
TO THE INDIAN.
390
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,599
BY THE WAY,
I'M FROM PAKISTAN.
391
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:30,476
[WHISTLING A TUNE]
392
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:52,633
[GASPS]
393
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,368
[COUGHS]
394
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,917
EWW!
395
00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:18,516
[MUMBLES]
396
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,473
[LAUGHS]
397
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:39,651
[STICK 'EM UP PLAYING]
398
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:48,885
[GROANS]
399
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,525
UHH!
400
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:53,249
I GOT 3 ERASERS!
401
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,022
TOUCHDOWN!
402
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,517
PIPE DOWN IN THERE!
403
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:59,558
HE'S STILL PUMPED UP
ABOUT HIS BIG SALE TODAY.
404
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:02,385
YEAH. HE SOLD--
ARE YOU READY?
405
00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:05,861
300,000 ERASERS!
406
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:06,731
YEAH!
407
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:09,398
I THINK HE'S GOING
TO GET PROMOTED SOON.
408
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,738
YOU'RE SO LUCKY
TO HAVE HIM.
409
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:14,443
HA HA!
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
410
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:16,484
OH, DAMN IT.
411
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,641
Johnny: I WISH
TOOTSIE WAS HERE.
412
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:19,980
SHE'D KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
413
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,745
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO FACE PAULA.
414
00:21:22,814 --> 00:21:25,854
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.
415
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:28,447
WHY DID YOU COME
ALL THE WAY UP TO PONY CAMP?
416
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,920
OH...JUST
TO SURPRISE YOU.
417
00:21:30,989 --> 00:21:33,629
ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING
FROM ME, JOHNNY?
418
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,062
IS TOOTSIE OK?
419
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,427
UH...UM...
420
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:38,426
JOHNNY KILLED
YOUR DOG.
421
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:40,827
WHAT? NO,
I DIDN'T KILL IT!
422
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:43,599
YOU KILLED TOOTSIE?
423
00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:44,569
NO!
424
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:45,996
HE'S RIGHT.
HE GOT HER KILLED.
425
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:46,871
BIG DIFFERENCE.
426
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:47,768
I DIDN'T
GET IT KILLED.
427
00:21:47,839 --> 00:21:51,439
I MEAN, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO GET IT KILLED!
428
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:52,110
I MEAN--
429
00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:56,677
[CRYING]
I'M SO SORRY, PAULA!
430
00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:59,646
TOOTSIE!
THERE YOU ARE.
431
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:03,018
THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIVE.
432
00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:06,358
OH, I GET IT NOW.
433
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:08,425
SHE WAS NEVER DEAD.
434
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:09,363
YOU GUYS!
435
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:11,998
YOU REALLY HAD ME
GOING THERE FOR A MINUTE.
436
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:12,904
KILLING TOOTSIE--
437
00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:15,434
OH, MY GOD.
TOO FUNNY.
438
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,130
WE TRY.
439
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:19,341
AND I LOVE
THE NEW SUMMER CUT.
440
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,344
SHE LOOKS ADORABLE.
441
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:22,406
YEAH.
442
00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:25,844
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF
HER AGAIN ANYTIME.
443
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:26,911
SHE'S A BLAST.
444
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:30,718
JOHNNY, YOU'RE THE BEST.
445
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:38,089
ANGUS, I'LL NEVER LET A CUTE
BITCH COME BETWEEN US AGAIN.
446
00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:40,726
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND
AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
447
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:43,102
SORRY I FORGOT THAT.
448
00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:43,861
THAT'S MY BOY.
449
00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:48,999
WHERE'S TOOTSIE'S
NEW BEST FRIEND?
450
00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:53,836
AW, SO CUTE.
451
00:22:53,905 --> 00:22:58,735
I FEEL ALL WARM
AND MOIST INSIDE.
452
00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:01,048
JOHNNY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
453
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:03,553
THAT I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR HELP WITH TOOTSIE
454
00:23:03,615 --> 00:23:04,575
THIS WEEKEND.
455
00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:08,619
I REALLY ONLY DID IT
BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH--
456
00:23:08,687 --> 00:23:10,417
WELL, I OWE YOU BIG TIME,
457
00:23:10,489 --> 00:23:14,959
AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO
TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU, JOHNNY,
458
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:16,956
AND I MEAN ANYTHING,
459
00:23:17,028 --> 00:23:20,668
ANYTHING AT ALL,
NO MATTER WHAT,
460
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,602
DON'T RULE ANYTHING OUT.
461
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:26,437
LET YOUR FANTASIES
RUN WILD.
462
00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:27,565
I'M SO READY FOR THIS.
463
00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:29,979
I CAN FEEL IT
DEEP DOWN INSIDE.
464
00:23:30,041 --> 00:23:32,841
WELL, MAYBE SOMETIME
465
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:36,411
IF IT'S NOT
INCONVENIENT FOR YOU--
466
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,051
YES? YES?
467
00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:40,116
MAYBE I COULD
TAKE YOU TO A MOVIE?
468
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:41,885
THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A DATE, JOHNNY.
469
00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:42,993
WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
470
00:23:43,054 --> 00:23:46,064
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE
A MANICURE BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY?
471
00:23:46,124 --> 00:23:47,664
I'M NOT GAY!
472
00:23:47,726 --> 00:23:49,626
GOTCHA! HA HA HA.
473
00:23:49,694 --> 00:23:53,704
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN PLAY JOKES AROUND HERE.
474
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:54,595
[LAUGHS]
475
00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:55,766
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
I WISH JOHNNY WAS GAY.
476
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:59,604
IT'D BE EVEN FUNNIER TO SEE HIM
ACT LIKE THIS WITH A GUY.
477
00:23:59,671 --> 00:24:00,671
[LAUGHS]
478
00:24:00,721 --> 00:24:05,271
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