Original subtitles

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

I do not want to go to New York!

What about Topanga?

Who cares about...

Why does everyone always take Topanga's side?

Topanga?

Give me your hand.

Why?

I want to see if our energies converge.

(LAUGHING)

(GASPS)

You're not gonna, like, kiss me now, are you?

Would it be your first kiss?

You shouldn't kiss somebody you're not married to.

Hmm.

Yeah, I would have to feel I really knew the person.

And that I liked him.

Good.

Good.

It was my first one, too.

I did it.

I joined the Peace Corps.

Are you serious?

Yeah, I'm gonna sit in a hut and eat mud.

It's a plan, all right?

My stepdad thinks he's gonna teach me a lesson?

No, no, I'm gonna teach him a lesson.

Oh, Cory.

Hey, I've been doing some thinking about New York.

Oh, yeah!

Well, I'm gonna do some thinking, too.

Let me tell you what we're gonna do.

This is where our friends are.

This is where we grew up.

This is where we should stay.

I'm gonna turn down the internship.

I want to do whatever you want.

I was really looking forward to going,

but if you don't want to go...

Yeah, well, I think we should stay here.

Yes.

I'll see you at home?

Where we live.

Yes!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Hey!

Ka-ching! Ka-ching!

Yeah! Whoo!

Thank you!

We're not moving to New York, Shawnie!

Nothing's gonna change!

You know she didn't mean a word she just said.

I know it!

But for now, will you please join me in fooling myself?

(GIGGLING)

Feeny!

Fee-ee-ee-ny!

Feeny!

Ooh, that was a new one!

You are not calling a duck!

Oh, come on. Admit you love the Feeny call.

Now, I have a feeling we're not gonna be together that much longer,

so you've got to admit it before it's too late.

Mr. Feeny.

Mr. Feeny!

Mr. Feeny!

Mr. Feeny!

(MUFFLED)

Feeny.

(STAMMERING) Feeny.

Feeny!

Fee-hee-hee-hee-ney!

Wow! Hey, hey, hey, what?

Wha-wha-what-what?

Hey! Ow!

(HISSING)

Ow!

I love the Feeny call.

I had a feeling you'd feel that way,

so I had this made for you.

Feeny!

(STAMMERING) Feeny!

Feeny!

Bone-chilling, Mr. Matthews.

Hey, Feeny, look. It's Eric doing Mission: Impossible.

Okay, okay. Enough of the love fest.

Can you do me a favor?

Cory's not doing real well. He's afraid of change.

Just give him the usual.

(DOOR CLOSING)

I'll have the usual.

Hi, Cory.

It's Mr. Matthews. Mr. Feeny, come on. Mr. Matthews.

I like it when you call me Mr. Matthews.

That's what you used to call me when I was a kid.

That's what I want.

Fine, Mr. Matthews.

Okay, well, come on. Stand by the fence.

Your best advice always came right here from the fence.

Hey, Mr. Feeny, whatcha doing?

Okay, what can I do for you?

Okay.

Topanga's got this job offer.

Okay, she's got an internship

at a law firm in New York City.

And she turned it down. And she turned it down because of me.

Wait a minute. How did you know that?

What if she didn't turn it down because of you?

Of course she did.

You're wrong about this one, Mr. Feeny.

You're really slipping.

Okay, this is your moment. Now, get me. Get me.

(SIGHS)

You see that flower?

Yes! A garden metaphor!

I love the garden metaphor. I just love them.

That flower was in a small pot in my living room,

but it outgrew its surroundings,

so I transplanted it here in the garden.

Seems like it's doing okay.

Oh, yes, it's flourishing.

Now, Topanga always thrived here.

She was successful in whatever she did.

Here.

Well, I think she'd be successful anywhere.

Do you believe that?

Yeah, of course I do.

Does she?

What?

Did you know that,

before she decided not to go to Yale,

she came to my office to talk to me?

About me.

Right? She didn't want to go to Yale because of me.

Yes, that's what she said.

You mean, it wasn't about me?

Now, when I pulled the flower out of the small pot in my living room,

it resisted a little, you know.

It tried to hang on by its roots.

I had to force it out.

'Cause you thought it would do better out here...

In the world, right?

No, because I thought if I left it there,

it would stop growing.

You're putting my puny plant in the ground?

Your plant, though immature and undeveloped,

has within it the potential

to grow and flower.

With the help of a proper gardener.

You think so?

Oh, yes. As long as no one wishes it ill.

Honey, I have never failed at anything.

No. You've never failed at anything,

and you never will as long as you stay right here

and you play it safe.

Well, I want to go to New York.

No, you don't.

I do.

I need room to grow, Topanga, and I don't think it's fair

that you're keeping me from growing.

You would do this for me?

Topanga, I'd do anything for you.

Topanga, if I had to dream up the perfect woman,

she wouldn't even come close to you.

Would you be my girlfriend?

Yes or no?

Cory...

Mmm-hmm...

I love you, too.

I was always hoping you did.

No, you're not moving,

because we're supposed to be together,

like we've always talked about, so you can't move.

Because we don't deserve that kind of pain.

Cory, will you just give me a hug and a kiss and say goodbye to me?

No.

Cory.

Topanga.

I missed you. I missed you so much.

I think it's a good thing

that Cory's the only boy I've ever loved.

I was looking forward to doing all of the things

that people do who are in love...

With Cory.

You lied to Topanga!

I didn't do anything.

You lied to Topanga!

Shawn, all we did was talk.

All you did was talk?

That's it. No kissy?

Just talky.

You kissed her?

What am I gonna do?

I'll tell you what you're not gonna do, Cory.

You are not gonna tell Topanga. You understand me?

I know women, Cor,

and I know that she'll forgive you for talking to Lauren.

And I know that she'll even forgive you for lying to her,

because you never have before.

But she will never, ever forgive you

for kissing another girl.

(BANGING)

I want to talk to you.

All right.

I want to talk to you!

When were you planning on telling me about Lauren's letter?

(STAMMERING) Now.

I was gonna tell you about it now.

Cory, I have never once had to wonder

if you were telling me the truth.

You kissed her and you lied to me about it.

I don't know if I trust you now.

She kissed me.

Oh! And you moved away?

What did you do to stop her?

Nothing! Nothing!

I said, "Kiss me, baby, sweetie!

"Kill the relationship with the person

"I care about more than anything,

"and make me miserable for the rest of my horrible life!"

That's what I said!

Her kiss meant nothing to me!

Cor, what I'm about to tell you

is gonna make you want to kill me.

I'm not gonna kill you, Shawn.

It takes too much time to break in a new best friend.

Topanga went out with another guy last night.

I'm sorry.

You know, we're the only two guys in the world

who still think there's hope for me and Topanga.

You're throwing in the towel?

Yeah, I am.

Okay.

Thank you.

You okay?

Yeah, sure.

It's an interesting feeling, though.

What, to know it's over?

To be the only guy in the world who knows it's not.

I love you, and I will always love you.

Another guy kissed you?

Yeah.

Want to do something about it?

I felt that, boy.

So, are we starting over?

Yeah.

Mr. Feeny said I should go to Yale

unless I have a really good reason not to.

There isn't any good reason.

Actually, there is.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The John Adams High School class of 1998.

Will you marry me?

(CHEERING)

We would like your brother to be your best man.

No, Eric! You're gonna knock over the candle!

CORY: Oh!

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Look, it's happening.

(ALARM RINGING)

Eric, look what you did! Eric!

(SINGING) ♪ The curtains are on fire

♪ The curtains are on fire ♪

(BOTH SCREAMING)

♪ They're chopping up the dorm room

♪ They're chopping up the dorm room

♪ My brother is a moron

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

(LAUGHS)

(SCREAMING)

(SMOKE ALARM RINGING)

He's out, Shawn's in!

Somebody save the baby!

Somebody save the baby!

That is the most beautiful dress I've ever seen.

Bite me!

I wasn't sure this day would ever come...

But you were.

I wasn't sure that love could survive

everything that we put it through.

But you were.

You were always strong and always sure.

And now I know that I want you to stand beside me

for the rest of my life.

That's what I'm sure of.

I have to talk to her now, okay?

Go ahead.

Ever since I was young,

I never really understood anything about the world.

And I never understood anything that happened in my life.

The only thing that ever made sense to me was you

and how I felt about you.

(SNIFFLES)

That's all I've ever known.

And that's enough.

That's enough for me for the rest of my life, Topanga.

Cory, I'm scared.

I know you are.

What if I fail?

Well, if you fail, then I'll see this girl

who took a real risk, you know,

who left the world she was used to

with great courage,

and she danced the dance, you know?

And if you fail, I think there's a real chance I'll love you even more.

We're going to New York.

We are going to start the next chapter of our lives.

How am I taking it?

Better than me.

Let's hug.

(SQUEALING)

May I have this dance?

I thought you'd never ask.

What do you mean New York? New York is crazy!

They're just babies! There's no babies in New York!

The rats eat them!

Mom, get a hold of yourself. You're psycho.

Oh, that's very nice. Your mother is psycho.

Oh, now I'm psycho, Alan.

Morgan, don't call your mother psycho. It's not nice.

Cory and Topanga are going to the big city and...

(SOBBING) I'm inconsolable!

Eric's decided to go with them.

Oh!

So, what's for lunch?

You're going into the Peace Corps?

I thought you were gonna travel the world.

Well, I will, I will,

right after I do some good in it.

"I am chucking to death."

Hmm.

Oh, God! Oh, God. Okay!

(YELPS)

Whoo! Monsoon season is officially over, baby.

(SCREAMING)

New plan!

(SCREAMING)

Pie her!

Pie her! Pie her!

Pie!

Pie!

Yeah, don't treat me special 'cause I'm a woman!

She's right!

I'm not your mother, I'm your roommate!

Yeah!

Now hit Jack with the pie.

Okay.

That's about everything.

I can't believe we're actually doing this.

I feel this is the right move for me, you know. New York City.

Nobody knows me there. I can be anybody I want to be.

I want you to be Eric.

(ERIC SINGING NONSENSE)

Hello, roomie! (SCREAMING)

Roomie?

(SCREAMING)

Rachel, what is Eric's favorite fish?

Penguin.

No, I don't think you understood.

Bam!

I know my man!

It's like we have one brain.

Yes, but, see, you're already in a new relationship.

You're in a triangle, Feeny.

And take it from somebody who's been in a triangle before,

he who hesitates is lost.

Rachel!

I'm okay, I'm okay.

Check! For the love of God, will someone please bring me a check?

(EXCLAIMING)

Matthews! Sir, yes, sir!

You are a disgrace to this university,

to this country, and humanity in general!

Wow!

(EXCLAIMING)

Talkity-talk! Talkity-talk-talk-talk! Yak!

Oh, look! It's great. Trailer boy's got all the answers!

You know something, trailer boy?

There's one thing you don't have.

Bam! Penny!

You never breastfed me!

Listen, Porky, we're in the middle of a serious family discussion here.

Well...

I'm going to New York.

Good.

See ya, pal.

Hey! Eric?

Yeah. Nice to meet you.

Hey, nice to meet you, too, Jack.

You smoke?

No. You smoke?

No.

Do you like pets?

Nah. I have a hard enough time keeping track of myself.

You? I'm not a pet guy.

I got four kids, though.

(LAUGHS)

I thought it was funny.

Favorite color on three.

Go.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Blue! Blue!

See you later, man. Yeah, nice to meet you, all right.

I don't like him.

Give me my numbers!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

You don't get it. We're in college now.

We're being judged on a whole new level.

Theories and footnotes, shades of meaning,

nuance, spelling!

Where does it end? Where does it end?

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I love you, man.

Dude, don't even, man. I'm the one that loves you.

Dude!

Dude! Dude!

RACHEL: Oh, boys! I can't figure out how to work the stopper in the bathtub.

Can one of you please come and show me?

Okay, well, the best goodbyes are fast goodbyes.

Are you freaking nuts?

Where is your soul?

You're just gonna cast me aside like an old pair of shoes.

(CRYING) We have to say goodbye for an hour!

Guys, it's only 70 miles away.

(VOICE BREAKING) No, no, no!

Shawn, I was doing it quick

because I thought you wanted to do it quick!

I want a divorce.

Okay, I'm here. What's the big emergency?

Come on.

You're my best friend, man.

You just got to loosen up.

You don't think I'm a geek?

Of course not.

You think I'm cool?

Of course not.

Then what am I?

You're Cory. I'm Shawn.

Just like it's always been.

What else do you need to know?

GIRL: Fight! Fight!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Break it up! Break it up!

Get back to class now.

Hunter and Matthews?

Did you guys know you were fighting each other?

I was hoping you'd come alone.

Yeah, I tried, but you-know-who wouldn't hear of it.

I think she suspects.

Hey, I understand that she's important to you.

We both knew this would happen eventually.

Getting older.

Meeting girls. Having relationships with those girls.

Which means there's less time for...

Best friends... Best friends

to spend time together.

It's only natural. Sure, natural.

Hey, that cinnabun was for me, wasn't it?

Cory...

(BOTH SNORING)

Yip yip-yip-yip-yip!

Interesting. In my class,

Mr. Hunter handles the yipping.

Shawn! Shawn, it's both of them!

Oh, no. Now I don't know which class I slept through.

(BLAST)

(SCREAMING) Feeny left us the keys to his house.

He knows this is gonna happen. He wants this to happen.

(SCREAMING)

Cory, if you're gonna stay at my bed and breakfast,

I'm gonna have to ask you to keep your voice down.

The Moreparks are upstairs napping.

(QUIETLY SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh!

My room here is a shrine to my mediocre life.

Let's stop right there, okay?

You don't have a mediocre life.

There's nothing about me that separates me from anybody else.

Underpants!

You showed him that?

Hey! How come I never get to see nothing?

(SHOUTING) How long you been married?

Who?

What?

They want you to take the rolls!

So, this is it?

Yes, this is...

Goodbye.

Oh, that's it. I can't take this anymore.

Here, this is for you.

What's that?

His stuff.

You're coming with us?

I'm going with you?

Really?

Yay! Yay!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I can't do this.

I've got a life here, Cory.

I can't just pack up and leave.

I mean, I've got a mother and a father

and a girlfriend and a good job.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Do you really like her?

Yeah, I really do.