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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,001
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,124
(HUMMING)
3
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:29,228
Mmm!
4
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:30,428
(CHUCKLES)
5
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:33,265
Shawn, I think
I've discovered
a new taste treat.
6
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:36,301
Cory, do you mind?
I'm in the middle of...
7
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,769
Mmm! Cheesy.
8
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,404
Prove that you love me.
9
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,476
Look at her.
10
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,178
Like a Waterpik,
this one.
11
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:50,782
Hey! How come you never
lick the food off my teeth?
12
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,551
'Cause we're married now.
I don't have to.
13
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,420
Okay, Cory, this is
your last question.
14
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,656
"Do you ever have difficulty
performing in bed?"
15
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,725
Why don't you tell me?
16
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:02,927
(CHUCKLES) Yes.
17
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:06,932
Hey! Topanga!
18
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,199
All right, everyone.
Let's tabulate our scores.
19
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,769
Hey! Last night,
I had a stummy ache.
20
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,073
You didn't take care
of me, by the way.
21
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,309
All right,
let's see who's gonna
live the longest.
22
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,545
Peaches, I can't help
but notice that
you're ignoring me.
23
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,981
Okay, Shawn and Angela
are going to live well
into their 80s.
24
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,484
According to this,
I should live to be 100.
25
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:26,784
This is fun!
26
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,820
What about me?
27
00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:30,154
What about my longevity?
28
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,090
Okay, Cory, you got...
29
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,560
Hmm. Good for you, honey.
30
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,296
Good for Cor! I'm gonna
live to be 100, too.
31
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:39,664
(CHUCKLES) No.
32
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:43,368
You've proved these
people wrong by being
alive right now.
33
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:47,905
Let me see that!
34
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,142
Cory, it's just
a magazine.
35
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:53,745
Yeah. You're not
gonna take this
seriously, are you?
36
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:55,980
You guys wanna know
what's weird about this?
37
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,650
Is that all of a sudden,
I can't feel my legs.
38
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,352
Oh, here we go.
39
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,419
(SIGHS)
40
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,823
My life just
got really bad.
41
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,025
Honey, your husband
can't feel his legs!
42
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,660
What are we gonna
do about this?
43
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,363
Movie? Anyone want
to see a movie?
44
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:13,898
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
45
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,467
If you're not gonna
take care of me now,
46
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,936
who's gonna take care
of me when I get old?
47
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,505
Movie!
Ooh! It'll be dark
in a movie theater.
48
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,140
Ooh!
CORY: Honey!
49
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:24,909
I'm dying, and you're
going to a movie?
50
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,346
Nice wife!
51
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,684
Hello, wife!
52
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,120
You'll never guess
what happened down
at the store today.
53
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,254
A customer came in?
54
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,455
Yes. (LAUGHS)
55
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,390
And bought a tent.
56
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,793
First one since that
stinking Blair Witch
movie came out.
57
00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:44,095
You know what
this means, huh?
58
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,331
People aren't afraid
of the woods anymore.
59
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:47,766
They're camping again!
60
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,336
Yes! Life is good!
Nothing can stop us now!
61
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,443
I've decided to join
the family business.
62
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:02,981
No, no, no.
63
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,683
Is this, like,
the happiest day of
your life or what?
64
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:11,590
(STAMMERING)
Eric, you can't
work in my store.
65
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,758
Why not?
I sold it.
66
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,027
It's gone.
67
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,162
Sorry.
68
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,264
Alan!
69
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:20,665
Man, you know,
that's too bad
70
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,167
'cause Jack and Rachel
and I were thinking about
71
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,769
what we were gonna
do with our lives and...
72
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,103
Yeah, you're a little
freaked out about
graduation, huh?
73
00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:26,371
Well, yeah, I was
until I realized that
74
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:27,905
I wanted to work
with my dad.
75
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,642
Too bad.
76
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,845
Alan, this
is your son.
77
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,014
Too bad.
78
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,682
(WHISPERING)
Amy, things are just
starting to turn around.
79
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:38,750
Shame on you!
80
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,051
You work with him!
81
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,822
Hey! What about school?
82
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,991
Well, you know,
I'm only taking
two classes,
83
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,193
so I can actually put
in a full week Monday
through Friday,
84
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:49,928
but I won't work
on Saturday
85
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,297
out of respect
for my Jewish
peeps, you know?
86
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:55,867
Alan, you remember how
we were worried about
Eric's F-U-T-U-R-E?
87
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,570
(LAUGHING) Oh, Ma!
You don't have to worry
about my furniture.
88
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,642
No, no, no! This would
be a great opportunity
89
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,943
for him to get some
real-life work experience.
90
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,379
You know, I was thinking
the same thing.
91
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:10,115
And what could be better
than working with my dad?
92
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:15,253
Meat-packing plants,
they're better.
93
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,322
Because they're
in Wisconsin!
94
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,523
Go to Wisconsin, Eric.
95
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,627
(LAUGHING)
Your father's
just kidding.
96
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,694
Aren't you?
97
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,129
Yeah, I guess.
98
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,031
Good, 'cause I got
a lot of neat ideas
for the store.
99
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,299
Here's one. Now,
try to follow me
100
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,901
'cause I'm gonna be
doing a lot of this.
101
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,736
All right?
102
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:36,741
We hang little pine trees
off the real pine trees,
103
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,544
to give that whole
forest the new-car smell.
104
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,717
Did you see what
I just did there?
105
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,986
See, I got a ton...
I have so many of
these ideas, it's like...
106
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,655
Kind of frazzles me
every once in a while,
107
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,023
so I'm gonna go upstairs
and keep thinking about
them, all right?
108
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,035
Take this frying pan
and hit me on the head
as hard as you can.
109
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,102
Okay.
110
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,074
Good morning.
111
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,808
I couldn't deliver
a urine sample.
112
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,977
No urine. Okay.
113
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,512
So, what seems
to be the problem?
114
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,314
Well, Doctor, I took
a test the other day,
115
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,717
and it said that
my type-A personality
and love of cheese
116
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,084
makes me a ticking bomb.
117
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,252
Hmm. What kind of
a test did you take?
118
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,687
Couples magazine,
119
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,121
Courteney Cox,
David Arquette
skeet shooting issue.
120
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,657
Good-looking fellow,
that Arquette boy.
121
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,558
Thanks.
122
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,828
So anyway, I was just, uh...
My longevity results revealed
123
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,797
that I should have
actually died last Tuesday.
124
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:33,999
Right, I see.
125
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,367
(BLOOD PRESSURE BELT HISSES)
Hmm.
126
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,303
Okay, I hate that
immediately.
127
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:41,106
Well, yeah, sometimes
patients get a little
nervous coming in,
128
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,707
their pressure goes up.
Oh, good.
129
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:43,975
Although I'm just
not certain
130
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,277
that's happening here
in your case.
131
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,779
Wait a minute.
Doctor, do you...
132
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,747
Do you really think
there's something
wrong with me?
133
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,184
Why? Would you
like there to be
something wrong?
134
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,519
No. Why would
I want something
to be wrong with me?
135
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,354
That would
just be crazy.
136
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,522
Right. Do you have
any history of mental
illness in the family?
137
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,192
Uh, no, I don't.
138
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,727
(STAMMERING) I do have
an uncle who thinks
he's Sammy Sosa.
139
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,496
Hmm. Institutionalized?
140
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:05,763
Yeah, but they
let him out for
spring training.
141
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,465
Uh-huh.
142
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,901
Uh, is there a reason
you're asking me all
these serious questions?
143
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,636
Mmm-hmm.
144
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,972
I see in my notes
here you've got,
uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
145
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,272
Tummy ache, that
your brain hurts,
146
00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:16,708
and you've lost all
feeling in your legs.
147
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,143
Yeah.
148
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,244
Could you tell
my wife that?
149
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,845
I want you to
write her a note.
150
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:21,980
Right. It says here
you're a newlywed.
151
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,114
Things going well
with the wife?
152
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,749
Why? Because
she's not here?
153
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,584
Is that what makes you
question my marriage?
154
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,120
Ever have trouble
performing in bed?
155
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:30,655
(SOFTLY) Why?
Did she call you?
156
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:33,457
No, she didn't.
157
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,959
You're very sensitive
about all this, aren't you?
158
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,661
Yes, I am, Doctor.
Are you gay?
159
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:39,898
No, are you?
Yes, I am.
160
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,034
I'd like to check you
for a hernia now.
161
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,036
Okay, good.
162
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,938
I want that and every
other test you got.
163
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,574
Because we are not
gonna stop until we find
something wrong with me.
164
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,442
I'm a firm believer
that the patient
knows his body best.
165
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:52,544
Where would you
like to start?
166
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,146
My armpit hurts.
Right here. This one.
167
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,781
Right there.
Okay, let's...
Mmm-hmm.
168
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,584
And you should see him
with the customers.
169
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,086
I'm telling you,
this kid has a real
affinity for people.
170
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,556
Amy, everybody's
crazy about him.
171
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,257
So Eric did good.
172
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,793
Yeah, he actually did good.
173
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,328
You seem surprised.
174
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,730
Eric was always
a people person.
175
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:17,169
Yeah, we know that,
but we also realize that
Eric's, you know...
176
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,269
Nuts.
177
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:19,971
No. Eccentric.
178
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:22,340
Eric has always
marched to the beat
of a different drum.
179
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:23,809
Most creative people do.
180
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,911
Well, I'm just
glad he did well.
181
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,546
Amy and I have spent
a lot of sleepless nights
worrying about Eric.
182
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,583
Well, of course
I worried but I always
believed he'd be okay.
183
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:32,651
Yeah, well,
184
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,618
I wasn't so sure.
Why?
185
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,887
George, you're
his teacher.
You know why.
186
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,289
No, I'm afraid I don't.
187
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,924
Alan, what are
you getting at?
188
00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:43,194
(EXHALES) Nothing, okay?
Don't gang up on me.
189
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,697
Eric always did
the best he could.
190
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,766
That's the most
I can ask from
anybody.
191
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,569
Well, we're talking
about Eric stepping
out into the real world.
192
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,003
It's not so
easy out there.
193
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,504
No, it isn't.
194
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:56,374
And I understand
your concern for
your children, Alan.
195
00:07:56,443 --> 00:08:00,111
Eric. I'm concerned
about Eric. My other
kids are doing just fine.
196
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,546
Howdy!
197
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:04,882
Eric, your parents
tell me you're doing
very well at the store.
198
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,618
Really? Well,
you know what?
199
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,219
This has been, like,
one of the greatest
days of my life.
200
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,688
You know, I'm telling
you something, Mr. Feeny.
201
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,422
I think I finally
found my niece.
202
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,324
Niche.
203
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,026
Niche?
204
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,131
Oh! Oh! Eric.
205
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,668
Hey, I got
something
to show you.
206
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,775
Ma, look at that.
207
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,012
"Matthews and Son
Outdoor Adventures."
208
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,913
Alan, what is this?
209
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,182
Oh, it's a mockup
of the new sign
I'm gonna have made.
210
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:41,119
Huh? What do
you think of
that, George?
211
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,288
I think it's,
uh, very nice.
212
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,189
Feeny! Look at that.
213
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,524
I got a job
after graduation.
214
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,092
Look, "Matthews and Son."
215
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,660
(LAUGHS)
216
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,795
Looks like
I finally
got a future.
217
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,596
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks, man!
218
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,101
He's got a future.
219
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,903
He doesn't have to
go out into the world
and get disappointed.
220
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,771
That's what's important.
221
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,806
No, there's one more
important thing.
222
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,742
What?
You have no faith
in your son.
223
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,551
All right. Well,
thank you so much
224
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,019
for shopping
my daddy's store,
225
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,955
and, uh, you got
a good product here.
226
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,156
If anything goes wrong
with it, come back,
227
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,657
you talk to me, okay?
I'm Eric. Great.
228
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,660
Why don't I ring you up,
get you on your way?
229
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,229
You know, Eric seems
really comfortable here.
230
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,532
Well, sure.
He's with his dad.
It's a family store.
231
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,733
Why wouldn't he
feel comfortable?
232
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,801
(SIGHS) I wish
I was comfortable.
233
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,470
Yeah, I'd give anything
to know what I was
gonna do with myself.
234
00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:33,571
What do you mean?
235
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,539
We graduate in May.
Ugh.
236
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:38,209
Yeah, four months,
and we're thrown out
into the real world.
237
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,078
You don't know
what you're gonna do?
238
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,646
Well, you know what?
All this time, I've studied
engineering and journalism.
239
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:45,450
Now comes the time when
I actually have to choose
between the two of them,
240
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,985
and I want to be
a lawyer like Rachel.
Ugh.
241
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:49,020
Lawyer was, like,
eight careers ago.
242
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,488
I don't want
to be a lawyer,
either.
243
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,057
You know what
I want to be?
244
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,859
I want to be Eric.
245
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,227
I mean, he's
the lucky one.
246
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,463
Oh, come on.
You're saying that
for my benefit.
247
00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:00,098
No. No.
No, really.
248
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,834
Really, he's the only one
that has a handle on things.
249
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,502
He is?
Yeah.
250
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:07,038
Yeah, I mean,
he's got a job.
His future's all set.
251
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,741
Yeah.
252
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,609
He's the only one
of you guys whose
future is all set.
253
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,311
Imagine that.
254
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,546
(BELL ON DOOR DINGS)
255
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,816
What do you think
about that, George?
256
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,885
Hmm? Maybe you ought
to go help your other
little lost sheep, huh?
257
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,587
Go help them
find their way,
258
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,422
because Eric's going
to be just fine.
259
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:25,824
Alan...
260
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,591
What? I'm a little
proud of my kid here.
261
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,260
I admit I was a little
nervous for him...
262
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:30,762
You never believed in him.
263
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,764
No, I was a little
nervous for him.
264
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,131
And you still don't
believe in him.
265
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,033
You think he will
go out in the world
266
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,268
and experience
disappointment,
267
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,537
so you wanna
lock him up here.
268
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,472
I thought if he would
be here with you,
269
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,075
he would gain
experience and
confidence
270
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,543
and be ready to go
out in the world.
271
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,012
And now, I think it
might be the worst
place for him.
272
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,848
He's safe here.
And he's a step
ahead of them.
273
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,717
So I was thinking
med school.
274
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:53,851
You'd make
a great doctor.
275
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,353
Yeah, people
really love you.
276
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,954
Veterinarian.
277
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,657
What?
Yeah, I mean,
I love animals.
278
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,426
I always have,
and I just love
to take care of them.
279
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,660
You know,
I love animals, too.
280
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,328
Would it be like,
like a little shop,
281
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:06,931
and you'd help
fix up little kids'
pets and stuff?
282
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,232
Yeah, I want a bunch
of letters on the wall
283
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,268
from little kids thanking
me for helping their dogs.
284
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,902
Oh.
285
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,004
What about the ones you'd
have to put to sleep?
286
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,775
I'm gonna be a caterer.
287
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,313
And you rather
he was confused
like them?
288
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,747
You know why
they're confused?
289
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,283
Because they
have choices.
290
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,453
They believe they are
capable of anything.
291
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,622
Amy, not everybody
is capable of anything.
292
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,293
Alan, eventually
I have to let my
students graduate.
293
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,894
I shelter them
as much as I can,
294
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:39,430
but, finally,
I have to let
them go.
295
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,931
You know, we could
keep Eric here.
296
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,933
We know
he would do fine.
297
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:45,470
But we wouldn't
know what else
he was capable of.
298
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,871
And you know
what's worse?
299
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:48,039
Neither would he.
300
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,575
Well, that's very nice.
301
00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:52,310
You don't think I know
what's best for my son.
302
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,680
Well, I think I do know
what's best for my son.
303
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,216
Now, if you
don't mind,
304
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,117
we have a store to run.
305
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,752
Excuse me.
306
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,427
He's been planning
his funeral.
I do the eulogy.
307
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,429
You get to light
the eternal flame.
308
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,097
This is all my fault.
309
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,532
I should have never given him
that stupid Couples quiz.
310
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,067
What did the doctor say?
311
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,304
He stopped off
there to get his
test results back.
312
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,773
But what if he
actually finds out there's
something wrong with him?
313
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,742
Oh, there's something
wrong with him, honey.
314
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,879
She means here.
315
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,717
I know what she means!
Don't you think I know
what she means?
316
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,852
I know he's crazy!
I know everything.
317
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,788
Do you wanna know
what he won't
let me touch?
318
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,756
"No, not there!
I might get cancer."
319
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:41,592
Where?
320
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,865
Topanga, what if there
actually is something
wrong with him?
321
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,001
Oh, please.
He's just doing this
because he's afraid
322
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,036
I'm not gonna take care
of him when he's 80.
323
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,738
He's just doing this
to get attention.
324
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:54,638
He is?
325
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,040
Yes.
326
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,609
Well, why don't you
just give it to him?
327
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,144
Because I'd rather
give him attention
for acting normal.
328
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:02,547
Oh, honey, we know that's
never gonna happen.
329
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,949
You're right. It's not.
330
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,851
I married a nut,
but aside from that,
331
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,452
there's absolutely
nothing wrong with him.
332
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,094
Hello, everyone.
333
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:19,396
(DOOR SHUTS)
334
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,665
Here we are in hell.
335
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,902
I'm glad you're
all here today.
336
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,971
Cory?
Is there something wrong?
337
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,440
Well, as you all know,
I just came from the doctor.
338
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,142
You have something?
339
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,645
Yes. I have something.
340
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,148
You all made fun of me,
341
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,150
but I have
something,
all right.
342
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,521
It's all right here.
343
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:45,956
Right here.
344
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,726
You're my wife.
345
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:49,861
Okay?
346
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,562
You have the right
to know first.
347
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:57,868
What's it say?
348
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,472
He has hypochondria.
349
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,976
Chronic and severe
hypochondria.
350
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:09,580
(VOICE BREAKING)
That's right.
351
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,851
I'm a hypochondriac.
352
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,189
Cory, it means that there's
nothing wrong with you.
353
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:20,824
It means you create
stuff in your head.
354
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:24,829
Yes, well, he gave
me these placebos.
355
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,431
Placebos are what
they give to crazy
people like you
356
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,866
to make them think
they're being cured
357
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:31,369
of something
they don't have!
358
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:35,005
Hey! I have to be
on these for the
rest of my life!
359
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,376
Okay, so, what's
up for tonight?
360
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,045
SHAWN: Movie?
ANGELA: Movie.
361
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,383
Cory?
362
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,888
(STAMMERING)
I have a tummy ache.
Ugh.
363
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,423
Wait up.
364
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:56,627
(DOOR CLOSING)
365
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,764
I don't care what
that magazine said.
366
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,533
He's gonna
outlive all
of us!
367
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:04,168
But if he thinks
that I'm gonna
take care of him
368
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,304
for the rest
of his life,
he's nuts!
369
00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:08,072
Of course he is.
370
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,273
That's why you
married him.
371
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,850
Do you want a blanket?
372
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,351
Oh, that would be swell.
373
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,854
But not wool.
Wool chafes
my nippies.
374
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,859
Do you want
me to make you
some tea, then?
375
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:30,695
You know what
I really want?
376
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:31,996
What?
377
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,732
I want you to come
and sit next to me
378
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,567
and hold my hand
until I fall asleep.
379
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:40,771
That's what you want?
380
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:41,772
Yeah.
381
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,540
I do.
382
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,745
(SIGHS CONTENTEDLY)
383
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,682
Is this what our life
is gonna be like?
384
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,251
(WHISPERING) Could you
talk softer? Just a little.
385
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,590
(WHISPERING)
Is this what our life
is gonna be like?
386
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:03,394
Well, sometimes
you'll be sick and
I'll take care of you.
387
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,429
That sounds nice.
388
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,865
I just want to know
that we'll always
take care of each other.
389
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,534
Do you feel better?
390
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,903
Well, isn't this better
than going to the movies?
391
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,671
Yeah, it is.
392
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,540
Then I feel better.
393
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,343
Good.
394
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,545
But I'm gonna
close my eyes now.
395
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,548
I think the placebos
are kicking in.
396
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,464
Just think,
last week,
397
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,900
I had no idea
what I wanted to
do with my life.
398
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,668
And now, I know just
what I should be.
399
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,137
And you helped me
find out.
400
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,741
Is this what
you really want
to be, Eric?
401
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:53,644
Sure. You know, I mean,
I hear Jack and Rachel
talking all the time,
402
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,447
you know, doctor, lawyer,
journalist, engineer.
403
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,216
Just... They all
sound really confused.
404
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,719
(LAUGHS) Remember
when you wanted
to be a weatherman?
405
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,487
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
That was crazy, huh?
406
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,623
Why?
407
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,425
Well, 'cause I could
never be that.
408
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:10,661
Why not? Why couldn't
you be a weatherman?
409
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,362
You really gotta
be on the ball to
be a weatherman.
410
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:16,867
I mean, you gotta
know about meteorology
and all that stuff.
411
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:20,705
Plus, I get really sad
when people lose their
homes in floods.
412
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,673
Would you rather
work here for the
rest of your life,
413
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,475
or would you rather
be a weatherman?
414
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:27,945
I think I'd rather
be a veterinarian.
415
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:30,247
What?
416
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,116
Yeah. I mean, I heard
Rachel talking about it.
417
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:34,218
It sounded like something
I'd want to do, too,
418
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:35,786
but I can't be
that either, can I?
419
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,589
Well, if you could
be anything
you wanted to be,
420
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,090
what would you choose?
421
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:43,294
Either a veterinarian,
so I could help animals,
422
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:46,096
or a weatherman,
so I could warn people
when there's a flood...
423
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,731
Or when there's sunshine.
424
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,033
That's crazy, huh?
425
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,468
No.
426
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:52,903
No, it's not crazy.
427
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,273
ERIC: Oh, great.
428
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,174
Now I sound
as confused
as these guys.
429
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,643
Yeah.
430
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,479
Yeah, you do.
431
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:02,713
So, you ready for dinner?
432
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,016
Oh, no. You know what?
Not gonna be able to go.
433
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,583
Tomorrow's the start
of the big ski season,
434
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:08,252
so we're having
a big clearance sale.
435
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,154
I gotta help my dad.
You guys are gonna have
to go on without me.
436
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,555
BOTH: Okay.
No!
437
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,525
Uh, no, I don't want you
to go on without him.
438
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:17,829
You go with your friends.
439
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,129
But all the skis.
I mean, we gotta...
440
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:20,664
Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of the skis.
441
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,600
You sure you can
do this without me?
442
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,202
I'm sure.
443
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,470
You be with your friends.
444
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,773
I belong here.
You belong with
your friends.
445
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:31,675
You sure?
446
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,011
I am. I am now.
447
00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:36,080
Okay.
448
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,484
Hey, you know what?
I think I've got it.
449
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,820
What about
architecture?
450
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,590
Now that's something
I think you'd be good at.
Sweet.
451
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,525
RACHEL: I've decided
to be a corporate art buyer.
452
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,427
Wow!
453
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:51,462
What is that?
454
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:52,663
I don't know.
455
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,165
(LAUGHS) I think
I made it up.
456
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,300
Hi!
457
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,435
Hey, Ma!
Hey, Joshie!
Hey!
458
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,871
Pediatrician!
459
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:01,839
Me, too.
460
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,274
Me, too.
461
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:04,442
JACK: Well, then
it's settled, then.
RACHEL: Good!
462
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,543
ERIC: Good.
JACK: Great.
463
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:06,611
All right.
Let's go!
464
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:07,778
Let's go.
Bye.
465
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,747
Bye.
See you, baby brother.
466
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,552
He's a good kid, Amy.
He'll be okay.
467
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,787
I'm scared for him.
I'm scared for all of them.
468
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,655
Well, did you do
your best for him?
469
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,124
I did.
470
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,692
Then he'll be okay.
471
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:22,860
He's your son.
472
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,695
He's our son.
473
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,164
He's our son
out in the world.
474
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,600
You shelter him
as long as you can,
but then you gotta let him go.
475
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,868
That's what we do, hmm?
476
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,938
How about you, Joshie?
477
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:37,774
How are you doing?
478
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:40,878
(CHUCKLES)
479
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,027
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
480
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,495
I'll get it.
481
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,135
Are you the wife?
Uh, Cory?
482
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,937
It's nice to meet you.
483
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,406
I'm Sammy Sosa.
484
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,510
Uncle Morrie!
They let you out?
485
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:15,045
I'm in town three days
to play against the Phillies.
486
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,947
But it's January.
487
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,983
I'm nuts.
Didn't he tell you?
488
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,618
And you came all
the way to see me?
489
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,319
Come here! Hey!
490
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,855
I heard you had
the "hypo-chondo-ria."
Yeah.
491
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,859
Can I make
you some tea,
Uncle Morrie?
492
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:29,993
Who?
493
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,295
(STAMMERING)
Uncle Sammy Sosa.
494
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:35,999
No tea.
495
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,401
Tea makes me sleepy.
496
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:39,269
You see, I gotta
keep wide awake
497
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:42,106
so I can catch
that bum, McGwire.
498
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,241
Nearly forgot.
Sit down!
499
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:47,044
I brought you
an autographed baseball
500
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,146
from all of the boys
at Sunnyvale.
501
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,082
Oh! Look at this.
Yeah.
502
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,684
"Ken Griffey Jr.,
Orel Hershiser..."
Yup.
503
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,586
"...Princess Margaret,
Patsy Cline,
504
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,955
"Dagwood Bumstead,
Rin Tin Tin,
505
00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:00,357
"Catherine Zeta-Jones"!
506
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,759
What's she like?
(LAUGHS)
507
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:05,195
I'll tell you later
in the spaceship.
508
00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:10,000
Ah! There's the rest
of my outfield.
509
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,374
Wait, wait, wait!
510
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:17,741
You forgot him.
511
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,250
Bye, honey.
Bye.
512
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:27,451
I love you.
44607
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