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1
00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:03,001
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,457
So, honey,
how was your day?
3
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,125
Oh, just great, dear.
4
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,860
Mmm. Are the kids tucked in?
5
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,261
All tucked in.
6
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,864
Mommy and Daddy
can have some
together time.
7
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,966
Ooh!
8
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,602
Well, when was the last time
we had a moment alone?
9
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,037
Certainly before
the kids came.
10
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,139
Yeah. Life was
better then.
11
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,410
Honey, I hate the kids.
12
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,612
We're still hungry.
13
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,681
Spaghetti!
14
00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:52,751
Don't you guys have any
baked goods or frozen treats?
15
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,586
Uh, guys, you are
our closest friends,
16
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:58,089
but we are sick
and tired of you.
17
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,158
Please get out and
don't ever come back.
18
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,261
(LAUGHING) They crack
me up, these two.
19
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,797
Cory, maybe we should
go back to our...
Hole?
20
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,365
Our... Our...
Dump? Sewer?
21
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,971
Look, we'd love to hang out
with you guys forever,
22
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,174
but right now, you're
on this new marriage thing
23
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,476
and we're on this new
living-together thing.
24
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,512
Yeah. So it's like you're
a couple and we're a couple,
25
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,681
and we're exactly
the same except that...
26
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,682
You're married
and we're happy.
27
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,019
So get out.
28
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,620
We're serious.
29
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:31,122
We understand.
30
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,125
We really do.
31
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:37,095
We'd never want to impose
on your little life of sin.
32
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:39,764
You make me sick!
33
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:41,933
Sluts.
34
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:46,138
We're just gonna go
and hang out with
our other friends.
35
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,140
Yeah! You think you're our
only friends in the world?
36
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:49,307
Well, you're not!
37
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,676
Because we are
a beloved couple!
38
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,747
You got other friends?
No. You?
39
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,316
No. Why'd we do that?
I don't know.
40
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,651
Well, what are
we gonna do now?
I don't know.
41
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,493
(WHISPERING)
42
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,897
Angela, I have never
seen you so happy.
43
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,200
Oh, that's because
I haven't been.
44
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:17,636
That's why I'm not
gonna get in the way
of you and Shawn.
45
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:18,904
So I'm gonna move out.
46
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,572
Why? You're
not in the way.
47
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,273
No, I know I'm not,
but I got this offer
48
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:24,209
to be a resident advisor
at Brittany Hall,
49
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:25,843
and I thought
it might be fun.
50
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,746
Oh, Rachel, you don't
have to move out.
51
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,949
It's not like me and
Shawn are a family.
(DOG BARKS)
52
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:35,787
(LAUGHING) Look, honey.
I got us a baby!
53
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:38,156
Oh, big dog!
Big dog!
He's so cute!
54
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,458
Yeah. Now it's like
we got our own family.
55
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:41,860
I'm gonna be an RA.
56
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,262
Good for you.
57
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,631
(DOG BARKS)
And the dog's decided
to go to the park.
58
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,503
Pretty girl.
Pretty girl!
59
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:53,672
Pretty girl!
60
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,140
Uh, who's in charge here?
61
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,209
You are.
Now do things to me.
62
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:01,747
Hi. Uh, Jack Hunter,
manager of the Student Union.
63
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,214
Everything you see
here, I manage it,
64
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:04,716
because I'm Jack Hunter...
65
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,050
Bed-wetter.
66
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,153
You can tell her, Jack.
She's gonna find out anyway.
67
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,988
And who might you be,
pretty lady?
68
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,189
I'm your new boss.
69
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,458
Name? Name, name. Name?
70
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,559
Name.
71
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,329
Name is Bridget Murphy.
72
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,765
Murphy?
73
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,532
Like the bed?
Vomit!
74
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:24,770
If I may be so bold,
75
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:26,805
how did somebody as
76
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,106
(STAMMERING INCOHERENTLY)
77
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:30,976
as you get to be
the manager of
our Student Union?
78
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,744
Oh, I know a guy.
79
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,079
Mmm.
What guy?
80
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,447
Well, some would
like to call him
81
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,049
the chancellor
of this university.
82
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,686
I, however, like
to call him daddy.
83
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,322
I like to call
him daddy, too.
84
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,290
Her father is
Chancellor Murphy.
85
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:48,860
(LAUGHS) That's right, boys.
Nepotism rears its ugly head.
86
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,361
Nepotism!
It's nepotism!
87
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,431
You have no idea
what that means.
Why should I?
88
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:56,268
Well, then let me
explain it to you.
89
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,504
I own you.
90
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,040
I can do anything
I want with you,
91
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,475
and I probably
will because
92
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,644
I'm a spoiled
little brat who
always gets her way.
93
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,355
So far, I don't hear
anything I don't like.
94
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,492
Good. Go clean
the toilets.
95
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,395
Thank you.
(GIGGLING)
96
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,036
You know, I understand
97
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,671
that it must be somewhat
embarrassing for you,
98
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,973
having once held
this position.
99
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:40,045
No, I'm okay.
100
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,479
What, uh, would be
embarrassing, though,
101
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,082
is if I let some
obviously spoiled
102
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,317
and surgically-augmented
little daddy's girl
103
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,219
ruffle my feathers.
104
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,288
Are you gonna
kiss me now?
105
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,824
I'm gonna kiss you never.
106
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,727
Do you think I don't
understand good looks
and a rich daddy?
107
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:59,731
Yeah, you and I are cut
from the same velvet
cloth, Miss Bridget.
108
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,900
So I know
how to protect
myself from you.
109
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,003
And I know how
to protect my
friends, too.
110
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,606
Toilets are clean, boss.
Oh, hey, look.
111
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,108
I'm a Teletubby.
112
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,648
He's not my friend.
113
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,917
Not the purple one, though.
114
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,421
Hoo! Hoo!
(LAUGHING)
115
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:26,558
Behold! Our future, okay?
116
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:30,062
Two bedrooms,
two bathrooms,
a kitchen,
117
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,830
and some kind of nook!
118
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:34,365
Why would you take us here?
119
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:37,168
Why would you take us
to this house which we
could never afford?
120
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,404
If we could afford it,
do you like it?
121
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,239
We can't afford it.
122
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,575
Don't do that, okay?
Because you're becoming
like a negative little missy.
123
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:46,878
Cory, it is just
cruel to take a person
124
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,848
who is this close
to losing it,
this close!
125
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:53,184
And taunt her with this cute,
little, adorable house
126
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:55,821
which she'll never,
ever live in!
127
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,689
So, you like the house?
128
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,158
I love this house!
Why would you
do this to me?
129
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:03,328
(IN SINGSONG VOICE) Hello!
130
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:06,331
You must be my happy,
happy newlyweds!
131
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,766
Are you the real
estate agent?
132
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,469
(LAUGHING) Why,
yes, I am. Whee!
133
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,506
Edith Stevens,
at your service.
134
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,609
Oh, how much do you love
135
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,578
this breathtaking
starter cottage
with nook?
136
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,482
I'm reporting you
to the Better Business
Bureau immediately.
137
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,617
Oh! Why, whatever
for, my dear?
This man is a dope.
138
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,719
You knew that
after three minutes
of talking with him,
139
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,921
and then you led him
to believe we could
afford this house
140
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,457
when the truth
is he can barely
afford a sandwich.
141
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,992
(CHUCKLING)
142
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,728
My dear Mrs. Matthews,
143
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,697
it is my joy
144
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:43,868
to place young couples
in cozy surroundings
such as these,
145
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:48,105
and, like most other
couples, you think,
"I can't afford it."
146
00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:49,373
(CHUCKLES)
147
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,642
But you can!
148
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,344
How?
149
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,347
How can we afford
an $80,000 house?
150
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,583
Very simple.
Over 30 years.
151
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,018
I've already explained
it to your husband.
152
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,487
I told you not
to talk to him.
153
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,022
She can talk to me.
Yeah, I can talk to him.
154
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,157
(LAUGHING)
155
00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:08,693
Remember,
just a trifle
down payment
156
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,428
and a pittance
of a mortgage
157
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:13,899
and two living parents
with a pen who can sign.
158
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,902
You guys are gonna
be so proud of us
159
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,670
because I went
into the world,
I did my homework,
160
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:20,938
and I made it happen.
161
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,306
I made it happen.
162
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,075
What'd you do?
163
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,877
No, it's good.
Really, it's good.
164
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,912
I didn't think it
was good at first,
but it is.
165
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,247
Show them, honey.
166
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,149
All we need are
your two signatures,
167
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,918
and we will have our
very own dream home.
With nook!
168
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,120
Okay, as soon
as you sign this,
169
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,355
we are completely
on our own.
170
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,758
What is this?
171
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:44,662
Well, it's a loan application
for an $80,000 house, Amy.
172
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,464
I don't like when you
call him "idiot," Alan.
173
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:47,598
I didn't call
him anything.
174
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:50,001
Oh, I guess I must have
thought it in my head.
175
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:52,269
(STAMMERING)
What's going on here?
176
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,272
What's going on here
is you want us
177
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,908
to sign your
$80,000 mortgage
178
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,776
so that when you
don't pay it...
We're gonna pay it.
179
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,678
...they can come
and take our house.
180
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,313
Is that what you
want me to sign, Cory?
181
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:05,015
Do you realize how
ridiculous you are?
182
00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:06,451
Why? Why is that
ridiculous?
183
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,654
Because you can't
buy a house before
you have a job!
184
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:11,789
You get a job,
you save for
a down payment,
185
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:12,990
then you buy the house!
186
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,592
No. No, Dad.
Because you know
187
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,894
it's gonna take
us forever to raise
that kind of money.
188
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,264
Dad? I'm calling you Dad.
189
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,132
I heard that.
190
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,701
The house that
we're in right now
is very bad.
191
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,237
We would have
invited you there
except it's very bad.
192
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,574
I'm sorry, Topanga.
I'm sorry that
it's very bad.
193
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,943
Look, we know
this isn't
easy for you.
194
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,179
Look, we're dying
in that place!
195
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,514
All right? Why do you
keep shutting us down?
196
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,417
Cory, my son,
whom I love,
197
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,020
figure it out.
198
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,388
You think I'm
gonna figure out
what kind of father
199
00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:45,023
wants his kids
to have a bad time?
200
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,891
I'm never gonna
figure that out.
Never!
201
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,694
I don't even know
why we came here.
202
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,366
I don't understand
this either.
203
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,608
I hate this, Alan.
204
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:04,875
I know.
205
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,322
It's nice.
206
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,389
Liar!
207
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,825
Well, when you
said, "stink hole,"
208
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,328
I really didn't think
it was a stink hole,
but it is.
209
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,563
It is a stink hole,
isn't it? Oh...
210
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:28,066
I think this place
has possibilities.
211
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:32,536
What possibilities?
Grease fire? Wrecking ball?
212
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,105
Or the place just
falls apart on its own
213
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,241
because it
knows it should?
214
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,976
Cory, come on.
This is exactly
the type of place
215
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,678
we always said
we wanted to
live in, right?
216
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,113
I'm married now.
217
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,815
Oh, hey! If you two
want to live here,
you can go right ahead.
218
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,151
Come on.
You could...
219
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,453
You could put a nice little
bookshelf in right here.
220
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,589
Yeah, or get
that romantic
photograph
221
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,058
of the French couple
kissing by the lamppost.
222
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:57,529
No, guys, guys,
we're not gonna fix
this place up, okay?
223
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,731
It's not like we're
gonna live here.
224
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,665
Where are you gonna live?
225
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,235
Oh, we found this
great little starter
house with a nook.
226
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,003
I don't get it.
227
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,639
What's to get?
228
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,308
We hate this house,
and I'm gonna get us
into that other house
229
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:13,210
with or without
my cheapskate dad.
230
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,247
Cory, you got a great place
to start right here.
231
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,082
Why don't you slow
down for a second
232
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,784
and take a look
around you?
233
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,353
You know, this is
your place, man.
234
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:23,454
Fix it up.
235
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,655
Have an imagination.
236
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,991
You have an imagination.
237
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,426
Okay, look what we
got here, Shawn.
238
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,094
Imagine this is
the water you drink.
239
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,629
Look at this.
240
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,367
Okay? Look at that.
241
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,636
Go ahead.
Drink the mud.
242
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:42,941
Cory, imagine you have
some pride in the place
and fix the rusty pipes!
243
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,143
You want to live in
a nice place, you're
gonna have to work at it,
244
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,712
and then, someday,
245
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,281
maybe you'll be
lying next to each
other on the floor
246
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,483
with the sun
streaming in
the window,
247
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,752
drinking coffee and
reading the newspaper.
248
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,721
Well, you know,
that's easy for
you to say,
249
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,589
Mr. I Live With
My Girlfriend
250
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,925
In A Great Apartment
That I Lucked Into.
251
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:05,196
And you know what?
You guys aren't
even married!
252
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,564
How fair is that?
253
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:09,567
I don't know.
254
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,838
Thanks for having us.
255
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,711
We had a very nice time.
256
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,778
Liar!
257
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:31,622
ERIC: I can't keep
my eyes off her tushie.
258
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,826
You must. Don't let
that tushie control you.
259
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,127
Bad tushie.
Evil.
260
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,530
I want it.
She knows you want it.
261
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,865
She knows you'd
be her pathetic
little love slave.
262
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:43,534
(WHISPERING)
Did she say that?
263
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,036
She's a sadist, Eric.
264
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,537
And she's looking
for a masochist.
265
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,339
Did she say that?
266
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:49,841
No!
267
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,310
Here's what she'll say,
268
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,778
she'll say,
"Clean the toilets,
269
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,647
"ground the espresso,
count the cups."
270
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,382
And then here's
what you'll say,
271
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,686
you'll say, "I will
get to it when I am
good and ready,
272
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:04,689
"so shut your cake
hole, Irene."
273
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:07,058
Her name is Bridget,
and I wrote her this poem.
274
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,030
"Bridget, you
make me fidget."
275
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,403
Hello, pretty boys.
276
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,571
So, have you, um,
cleaned the toilets,
277
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,541
ground the espresso,
counted the cups?
278
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,544
I will get to it when
I am good and ready,
279
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,313
so shut your
cake hole, Irene.
280
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,715
How about you,
bonehead?
281
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,384
Cake hole.
282
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,551
Cake hole.
283
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,688
Well?
284
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,825
Jack thinks
you're a bad girl
285
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,326
and I'll fall prey
to your tushie.
286
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,730
But I think you're
a sweet little farm girl
287
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:48,199
who likes to hold
hands on the porch.
288
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,068
Take my shoe off
and suck my third toe.
289
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:57,441
By the way, Jack,
you're fired.
290
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,911
ERIC: And I'm in a brand-new,
healthy relationship.
291
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,249
"You have to have
an imagination, Cory."
292
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,750
That's easy for
Shawn to say.
293
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:08,386
He's in that cushy
apartment, living
the good life,
294
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,088
eating bonbons!
295
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:13,023
Maybe a bookshelf
would look cute
over there.
296
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,526
No. You know where
a bookshelf would
look good, Topanga?
297
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,328
In the nook!
298
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,097
Cory?
What?
299
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,898
We are not gonna have
a nook right now.
300
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,134
We're not?
301
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:24,736
No.
302
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,007
So, we live here now.
303
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,444
Yeah.
304
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:36,414
(EXHALES) What if
I built us a nook?
305
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,182
There isn't any room.
306
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,984
Well, what if
I fixed the sink?
307
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,819
Do you know how
to fix a sink?
308
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,722
No.
You never thought you'd ever
have to fix a sink, did you?
309
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,524
No.
310
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,025
What if I helped?
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
311
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,495
You know how
to fix a sink?
312
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,962
No.
313
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,331
So neither one of us
knows how to fix a sink.
314
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,700
Together.
315
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:56,768
Okay.
316
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,638
All right. Now, before
I go under there,
I gotta tell you,
317
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,740
whatever you do,
it's very important
318
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,375
that you remember
that you do not
319
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,810
turn on the water!
320
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,379
Oh, sorry!
Did something
bad happen?
321
00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:13,918
You tell me!
322
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,119
Cory, I am so sorry.
323
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,288
Okay, you gotta hug me.
324
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,356
No!
325
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,690
Hug me!
326
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,459
No! Get away from me,
Swamp Thing!
(LAUGHING)
327
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,994
Swamp Thing
wants the booty!
(EXCLAIMS)
328
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,863
It's after me!
I must warn
the village!
329
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:29,567
No, no, I'm taking you back
to the swamp to do things!
330
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,169
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
331
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,704
Aw, wouldn't you know it?
332
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,973
Swamp Thing very frustrated.
333
00:14:38,812 --> 00:14:40,044
(CORY SIGHS)
334
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,645
(CRYING)
She won't go to sleep.
335
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,614
She hasn't slept
in three weeks,
and neither have I.
336
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,583
Can I just lean
against your wall?
337
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,718
Cory, Kelly and
the baby are here.
338
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,820
Yeah, you guys got a 5/8
crescent wrench?
339
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,188
Oh, you figured out
how to fix it?
340
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,924
No, I just want
to hit myself
over the head.
341
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,361
(LAUGHS) I'm sorry.
Was I interrupting something?
342
00:14:56,429 --> 00:15:00,030
Well, we were playing a nice
little game of Swamp Thing.
343
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,899
Oh, Swamp Thing.
Oh, yeah.
344
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,702
(LAUGHS) I remember playing
Swamp Thing with my husband.
345
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,170
You know what
you get at the
end of the game?
346
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,238
What's that?
(BABY CRYING)
347
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,673
Hello!
348
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:13,011
I don't want
to play anymore.
349
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,646
Well, why don't Cory
and I watch the baby
and you can go see a movie?
350
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,982
Oh, no, I could
never do that.
351
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,583
Why? You deserve
some time to yourself,
352
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,719
and Cory and I have
everything under control.
Right, honey?
353
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,821
Uh, there's something
staring at me in here.
354
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,590
Go see a movie.
355
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,057
Really?
356
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,694
It's licking me!
357
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,396
I'm a really good
babysitter, I promise.
358
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,231
Could I sleep for
an hour instead?
359
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,667
Sleep as long as
you need, darling.
360
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:39,370
Okay. She just ate,
so you might need
to burp her,
361
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,740
and if she gets fussy,
she likes Itsy Bitsy Spider the best.
362
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,608
Okay, go to sleep.
Okay.
363
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,144
(CRYING)
(SHUSHING)
364
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,680
Yeah.
365
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:51,081
Thank you.
366
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,883
(SIGHS)
367
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,686
You're a good neighbor.
368
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:56,820
I'm glad you're here.
369
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:58,622
Thanks.
370
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,023
Okay.
371
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,092
Hey.
372
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:07,498
(SINGING ITSY BITSY SPIDER)
373
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,434
How's that
waterspout, sport?
374
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,236
Well, I don't know
how the water spout is,
but the itsy bitsy spider
375
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,805
just laid about
five million eggs
up my nose.
376
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,240
You fix it yet,
Mr. Plumber?
377
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,142
Oh, how could
I have fixed it?
378
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,645
How could anybody
do anything good
around here?
379
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,888
Oh, my gosh. Look.
380
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,790
Topanga,
look at this!
It's clear!
381
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:33,858
We have clear water!
382
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,059
And you fixed it!
383
00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:36,727
I fixed it!
384
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,529
I fixed...
We did it!
385
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:41,265
We did this!
I feel incredible!
386
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,100
What a great
day for me.
387
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,035
Isn't that incredible?
388
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:49,206
Cory, look.
She went to sleep.
389
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,842
She went to sleep for me.
390
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,212
She's comfortable here.
391
00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:01,518
Well, here we are.
(SIGHS)
392
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,320
Mmm-hmm.
393
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,290
Lying on the floor,
reading the newspaper
together and drinking coffee.
394
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,292
It's perfect.
395
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,727
It's what I've
always wanted.
396
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,863
You happy?
397
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,132
I'm as happy
as I'm gonna get.
398
00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:18,168
What does that mean?
399
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:20,605
We don't deserve this,
Angela, not yet.
400
00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:24,642
This came easy for us.
We didn't work at it.
401
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,879
It's easy to be
happy about all of this,
402
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,581
but what if we
were on our own
403
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,084
and other people
weren't helping us
pay the rent?
404
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,822
You're jealous of
Cory and Topanga.
405
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,225
You're jealous of
their stink hole.
406
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:44,829
I haven't had a lot
of good things in my life
that really belonged to me,
407
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,597
so when they come along,
408
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:50,334
I want to do my best
to protect them and
hold on to them.
409
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:53,303
I'm not gonna let
anything bad happen
to this relationship.
410
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,640
You're such a sap.
411
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,407
Why can't you
just be happy?
412
00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:01,646
Because this is not real.
413
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,347
I mean, it's not like
Cory and Topanga.
414
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,616
You and I, we're
just playing house.
415
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:09,019
You want what Cory
and Topanga have?
416
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:11,856
Do you want
to get married?
417
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,325
(CHUCKLES)
Are you proposing?
418
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,363
I'm just asking.
419
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,600
Not yet.
Not yet.
420
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:24,668
(BOTH LAUGH)
421
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,072
But someday,
422
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,573
if and when we do,
423
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,408
I promise,
424
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:33,744
we'll have a stink hole
just like Cory and Topanga.
425
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:37,714
You promise?
Yeah.
426
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,549
(SIGHING)
Ooh, I'm looking
forward to it.
427
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,819
Me, too.
428
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,124
Who's gonna
break it to him?
429
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:55,132
Drink this, you no-signing,
no-money-giving-us,
430
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:58,202
no-letting-us-
stay-in-your-house
little wisp of a man.
431
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,370
Drink it!
432
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:01,705
Is it poison?
433
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,141
It was before
Cory fixed it.
434
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,409
You fixed pipes?
435
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,478
He fixed pipes, dear.
436
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,579
While I was playing
with the baby.
437
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,383
They had a baby, dear.
438
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,251
You know, I was gonna
call you to come over
439
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,086
and help me
fix the pipes,
but I didn't.
440
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,855
You wanna know why?
'Cause I didn't
think you'd help me.
441
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,624
Would you have helped me?
442
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,493
No.
Well, I knew it.
443
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,728
Well, we fixed
the pipes ourselves.
444
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,865
And how do you
feel about that?
445
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:30,868
Proud. Very proud
of us, okay?
446
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,770
Topanga and I are
gonna paint our place,
447
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,273
we're gonna put up
a bookshelf, and someday,
when we can afford it,
448
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,941
we are gonna buy that
house with a nook.
449
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,342
Without your help.
450
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:39,876
Now what do you
have to say to that?
451
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:45,716
I'd say you finally
figured it out.
452
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,818
Welcome to being an adult.
453
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:49,953
(ALAN LAUGHS)
454
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,923
When your mother
and I got married,
we had nothing.
455
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:55,359
Nobody would help us.
We did fine.
456
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:56,794
We didn't know it then,
457
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,963
but it was the sweetest
time in our lives.
458
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,898
We bonded together forever.
459
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,833
We fell completely in love
because we knew
460
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,401
we made a life
for ourselves
461
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,670
with nobody's
help but our own.
462
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,372
Yeah.
463
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,374
I would never
take that away
from you, Son.
464
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:18,983
(CHUCKLING)
465
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,984
I'm sorry, Dad.
(GRUNTS APPROVINGLY)
466
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,289
Thanks, Dad.
I'm calling
you Dad.
467
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:26,691
I heard that.
468
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,258
(CHUCKLING)
469
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:42,272
So, basically what you're
telling me is that your butt
is out on the street?
470
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:45,109
Well, Shawn, Jack,
and Eric are gonna
take over the apartment
471
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,445
because there's three
bedrooms and that's
what makes sense, and...
472
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,180
But your butt's
out on the street.
473
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,515
Right.
474
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,984
But if you talk
to my last roommate,
475
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:57,021
I bet she'll give you
some good references.
476
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,355
You know what?
I know her,
477
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,224
and she is a really
beautiful woman.
478
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,361
Well, that she is.
479
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,263
And she would
love to have you
as her roommate.
480
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:07,531
Really?
481
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:09,633
Yeah.
482
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,536
Ooh!
483
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,405
But who gets the dog?
484
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:18,075
Oh, Bridget.
485
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,011
Your breath's so warm.
486
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,212
(PANTING)
487
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,381
So, should we
wake him up?
488
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,384
No.
489
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,919
Actually, they make
kind of a cute couple.
490
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:34,024
Bridget, I got two
words for you.
491
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,592
Tic Tac.
42229
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