Original subtitles

SWEPT AWAY

This is wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! A real paradise

To think this paradise will be filled with shit

rubbish and plastic bags

Since we have to fake mass civilization, let's destroy it all

What fun when there are 100 million of us

The sea will be one big, open-air sewer

lmagine! True bliss

A concrete anthill full of no-hopers

Europe's garden, my foot!

OK, but let's enjoy it now while it's still paradise

This is no time to bust our balls with ecology

Oh, no! God forbid! Let's all love one another

Look at this brainy bunch of economic planners

I'm quite right when I say

that to save the very little that's left of ltaly

all ltalians, especially the fast breeders

should be interned in a faraway reserve

Are you advocating mass sterilization?

Yes, of course. No need to joke about it

-We should, and how. -There she goes again!

-Let me drown! -I'm talking to you, reds

You opposed the referendum rather than upset the clergy

-What the fuck are you saying? -The truth, my dear

So the Republicans helped you win now?

Without the Communists, you'd have fucking well

-All right, all right. -You'd have divorce in ltaly

OK. What about abortion? Not a word from you

See how ignorant and thick you are!

A Communist bill on abortion is currently under review

What do you want? Abortion on national health?

Yes. Precisely that

Or else a daily TV ad on the use of condoms

Oh, fuck off, Raffaella!

You've gone senile. Totally senile

He remembers fucking nothing. La Malfa predicted it in 1970

Oh, La Malfa! That harbinger of doom

He makes more sense than the Socialists and Communists

What's wrong with the Communists?

The Communists as economic planners?

After 50 years, all of Moscow wears yellow shoes

and all of Stalingrad black ones. And you dare criticize us!

They aren't greedy merchants

They're messy, the Russians. An artistic nation

Artistic, are they?

So Stalin, to you, is intellect and debauchery

He was great at setting up concentration camps in Siberia

Flawless management

Yes, madam. Still nothing compared to Hiroshima

Oh, God! Not that again

What about your Stalin number?

Anyway, let's focus on today's problems

The Communists have always been in opposition

and La Malfa is in the priests' pockets

Priests? You rotten bastard!

It's you who are licking the priests' asses

You dream of governing along with the church

Better forget that

Fanfani will never allow your damn compromise

You're so anti-Communist

that you're scared we'll strike a deal with them

-That'd be the end for you! -So that's your true aspiration

A confessional with Stalin as father confessor

a penance of 39 Hail Marys and 30 years in Siberia

Leave Siberia out of this. Your Communist phobia

has inflicted 30 years of Christian Democrats on us

But it's over for you now

You've been busting our balls for 30 years

Yes, we're fucking fed up!

We'll never go for you. From the pan into the shit

-Imagine! -Sure, you'd rather have a junta

What a look!

Look at him. He'd happily burn me alive. He's obviously a red

He's active in his local party branch. Almost an executive

Then he sees us as ruthless profiteers

Let's hope he doesn't crack and kill us in our sleep

Scared of the people's revenge?

Begging for mercy? I'd never do that

We starve widows and orphans. Can you hear me?

-We starve the proletariat... -Bitch! Fucking capitalist bitch!

-She's worse than him. -Now you know where I stand.

But I like my wine chilled

Remember, Brezhnev himself likes his wine chilled

If you serve him warm wine you'll end up in Siberia

Can you hear that bitch?

Just to make me angry

What's that?

What's that?

Coffee, madam

Reheated?

Yes

No, thank you. Must be freshly brewed for me

How marvelous! A real Southern bungler

Listen, boss. I have a complaint

That lady, the blonde

The one who hired the boat... Mrs. Pancetti

-Mrs. Pavone Lanzetti? -She called me a bungler

Let her call her husband a Southern bungler

Or I'll throw the coffeepot at her

Can't you make an effort for a month?

-They're paying you 500,00 lire. -Sure

But if that capitalist bitch doesn't watch it, she'll fucking

Gennarino, what are you trying to say?

A real man's first duty is to preserve his dignity

Are you making fun of me?

It's a papal state, my dear. And we know who's to blame

Sure! The Communists, who in 1948

Yes, my dear prick, the Communists themselves

who in 1948 copped the Concordat with the Vatican

instead of raising the anticlerical banner like La Malfa

We must learn from you and La Malfa now

-You must learn from us. -Come off it

-Only La Malfa exists for you. -True

I'm mad about him. He's sexy. I adore him

What the hell are you wearing? Something simple for the boat?

You look like the Pope

It's not party-approved but it's lovely

Look at your awful military breeches

These are trendy Bermuda shorts

-Oh, my God! -What's so funny?

What the hell are you laughing at?

Who's singing? Gennarino? What a mellow voice

Even Communists have a heart

Ask him if Stalin would cry and play the balalaika

after signing mass death warrants

He's thinking of his home, not Stalin

Don't listen to her. She's joking

Why don't you stop playing Marie Antoinette?

You're boring and common, and sound like the Candido

-That's right. -Offensive too, now

-That's really nice. -Keep playing

-I'll see you. -Full

-Of what? -Kings

Shamelessly lucky

I won't give in to political terrorism

and hide behind Karl Marx as you do

Who's hiding? I'm stone broke. I'm a guest here

You're being moralistic

People with servants changed the world

I've always known Marx had three maids

What crap!

This is no good. Overcooked

The spaghetti's overcooked. Why did you let it overcook?

Couldn't you pay just a little attention?

Yes. I'm sorry

He's sorry all right. He doesn't give a damn

-She's furious. -What happened?

The capitalist whore's mad. The spaghetti are overcooked

-It feels fine. -She likes it al dente

Come on. It's not so bad

I like it. Must be my appetite

You like it, too? All right

Enjoy your meal. I'm dieting

-Was the pasta overcooked? -Never mind

Maybe Gennarino's punishing us because we're capitalists

Nonsense. Without you we'd be stuck in putrid factories

sweating for a pittance

However, while we're waiting for the final revolution

let's try and have pasta al dente for once

You're quite right. Pasta al dente next time

The water's simply wonderful

An absolute paradise!

-At your service. -This is freshly caught

We bought it from a local

Let's have a nice fish stew, fresh and sea-scented

Go easy on the red pepper though. Last time it was like fire

-Red pepper really makes it. -It won't this time

Busting our balls over fish stew, even

I'll add red pepper all right

-Care for some coffee? -By the way

-I'll be discreet about this. -Go ahead

You should all change T-shirts before breakfast

-Sweat can be unpleasant. -You're quite right

Some iced coffee, please

That bitch!

I'll change my T-shirt all right

Just wait and see how I change it

That one's filthy. You can't wear that

OK. A fresh T-shirt for her ladyship

-Here's the coffee. -Hurry

I'll take it to her in my clean T-shirt

-Coffee for the rich whore. -This is some loony cruise

-Your coffee, madam. -Thank you

What's that clownish thing you're wearing?

You requested us to change our T-shirts, didn't you?

Gennarino, are you being facetious?

Me, facetious? I always have a few more rounds

Going to bed, darling? We'll have a few more rounds

Night, everyone

-Aren't you playing? -Can't afford it

I'm coming with you

They're playing for millions. Totally crazy

Good night

-Good night, Professor. -'Night, Pippo

-What's new, boss? -Strike me dead!

Quite a set-up down there

The husband's gone to bed to sleep

while the wife stays up and plays cards

I'd send my wife to bed with a kick in the ass

What kind of husbands are they? Wimps

They've loosened the reins and the women take advantage

The man goes to bed while his wife drinks and plays cards

What a way to behave!

Why? What do you do at your place at night?

-I drink and play cards. -And your wife sleeps

-I'm a man! -Well, they do the opposite

That's correct. And you think it's right?

Those jerks spoil our women. Who will wash our underpants?

Look what I found in the brunette's cabin

I think it's hashish

I knew it. They're too relaxed

I knew something was cooking

A drug, isn't it? Hashish? Let me sniff it

-Well? -This is "Marijuana."

Marijuana, is it? Ever tried it?

-Are you crazy? -Want to try?

What an idea, you fool!

You might like it and get hooked

You'll get sick, steal, and go to jail

How tragic! San Gennaro's fire

-Let me try it. -Certainly not

I'll keep these. Go to bed, you pervert

Fuck you! We could've had an orgy. Go fuck yourself

Go to bed, moron. Orgy, my foot

Thrill-seeking when he has six kids and a pregnant wife

Do they all think this rotten yacht is a brothel?

That idiot wants an orgy with marijuana

Downstairs is a gambling den

Give me the shits and I'll have you all put away

I'll step outside while you're emptying the ashtrays

It's so smoky in here

Ah, fresh air! I was dying of heat

-What time is it, Pippo? -7 p.m.

-7 p.m. -Afraid so

Good Lord! How can that be?

Rafaella, you're up at last

Damn! Why didn't you wake me?

-I've slept all day. -Since 6 a.m.

-Where are the others? -They left ages ago

They took a dinghy to the caves

Lower the other dinghy. I'll have a swim before dusk

-At this hour? -Why not?

I'll take my suit, my sweater in case I'm cold

Is the dinghy ready?

-Gennarino! -What's up?

Get a dinghy. Madam's going out

A dinghy at this hour? It's late

-Who said? -Some dickhead

-Madam, there's a current. -So what?

Just that... the caves aren't close

-And the sun's setting. -So what?

Nothing

I feel we should go back

-Why? -As a precaution

It's all the same to me, but I must warn you

-It's getting dark. -Dark, my foot!

We'll have another 30 minutes of light at the caves

-I've warned you. -All right!

You've warned me and I disagree. Too bad

-Are you afraid? -Me afraid?

I'm not afraid at all. I'm having fun

What's up now? I knew it

They had to come here and bust my balls

How delightful! It's like having wet spark plugs

This is perfect

Damned filthy slut!

Damned dirty whore!

-What are you mumbling? -I'm swearing to myself

Nothing to do with you

If we could see the others, at least

That would be asking too much

Damn this fucking battery!

-What's going on? -I don't know, madam

-I just don't know. -That's great

Fucking engine!

-Is it broken? -Well, it's not working

I was destined not to swim today

-Do something. -Am I just sitting here?

Damn!

-Is there any hope? -Hope never dies, madam

Are you sure we have gas?

Yes, we have

Let's wait, then

Lucky the sea is calm now

Shit

This is really dragging on

Pippo should have been here. He knows about engines

I can't win

-Aren't we going too far out? -I warned you about the wind

-That's irrelevant. -No, it isn't

The last thing I want to do is argue

-Try to do something. -Not much I can do

What do you mean? You can't fix it

My God... Why go out in a boat if you can't operate it?

I can't stand a bumbling, amateurish approach

All right. It's no use getting all uptight

It's chilly too. Good thing there's another sweater here

-I'm so cold. -Be my guest

-This sweater really stinks. -It's mine

Sorry

What a great adventure

Damn it! Now it's pitch black too

Never mind. They must come back this way

Let's hope so

Of course

They won't choose tonight to circumnavigate the island

Besides, even if they do

when they don't see us they'll come and find us

-Let's hope so. -Not again!

You're like some bird of ill omen

"Let's hope so" is exactly what I mean

The sea is vast, the current strong, and we're too far out

-Do something about it, then. -And I can't see a thing

-Aren't there any oars? -Yes. To row where?

Take it easy there. Watch it

Watch it? You're the one who'd better watch it

He's the sailor, and I'm supposed to watch it

-Look at this. It's night! -I told you

No, sweetheart

You didn't tell me the engine might break down

As if I'd be here now!

Never mind now. It's no use playing the bird of ill omen

They'll come and get us

Just look at him

-Do we have a flare gun? -No, we don't

I knew it. Never trust anyone

All right. Let's not get melodramatic

They'll come and get us

Let's hope so

Let's hope so, yes!

Look at the mess I'm in because of that bitch

Why did it have to be me?

Let's see what's wrong with this fucking carburator

Rotten thing!

Oh, Jesus

Oh, Mother of God

Where is he?

Help! Oh, God!

Nice swim, eh?

-I dropped my knife. -What did you say?

What are you talking about?

-My knife fell overboard. -By itself?

How come they haven't turned up yet? Where are we?

Damn it

I can't see land anymore

Holy Mother! What are those idiots doing?

Why haven't they come?

What have they been doing all night? Nothing!

The sea is big but people's idiocy is even bigger

Maybe they're waiting calmly for us

-What? -I didn't say anything

You never say anything

They have everything on the yacht

Courses, charts, radar... even choppers

Why don't they come and get us?

They should have spotted us in no time, those jerks

Bunglers, that's what they are

They lack initiative. They're absolutely hopeless

I bet they're waiting for us, blissfully unaware

Leave that engine alone. You don't have the know-how

Forget about it. It's so irritating

That'll be the day

Pig-headed, aren't you?

Just as well. We're leaving at last

A stroke of fortune after so much bad luck

About time!

Let's hurry it up. I'm dying of thirst

Back to the boat, quick

-Which way, please? -Are you asking me?

I won't accept responsibility

Come on. You're the sailor. How would I know?

Why put the burden on me?

Sailors know about charting courses

How would I know? Try to figure it out

-From the sun, the stars... -The stars, yes

-That, at least. -At least

Let's try to avoid winding up in Africa

-Let's hope so. -What do you mean?

-Which way are you going? -You tell me

Do you prefer left or right? I can veer to the right

-Are you being funny? -Funny, my foot

You want to go left? I'll go left

This is sheer stupidity

Maybe, but I refuse to accept the responsibility

All this turning is burning up gas

Tell me where to go, then. Want to stop and sunbathe?

-Want to swim? -Let's go that way

I'm not afraid of decisions, unlike some people

Let's hope for the best

And don't say "Let's hope so" in that baleful tone of yours

Come here!

Gotcha!

A beautiful, fat sardine

-For you. -It's revolting. I'll throw up

Eat it. It will help stave off hunger and thirst

-Like that! Never! -Hold on a sec

I've added a little salt

Come on

Be brave

I'd advise you to be strong, otherwise...

-Yuck! It's disgusting. -Give it to me

Why did you do that? You threw it overboard

I could've eaten it myself

It took me hours to catch it

With my own bare hands! And you threw it away

All right. Calm down. Fasting's good for us

It keeps us trim and it's cleansing

All dietitians say so

No use glowering at me

Think of your Southern women

They lose their figures once they're over 20

At 30, they look 50. Worse than Turkish women

He's still glowering. You should put them on diets

They're forced to diet... because of poverty

Please spare me the social statement

Oh, Gennarino, I'm so bored

Oh, God...

Good God!

Help!

Let me blow it

She's thrown away my whistle now

We're shipwrecked. Help!

They'll never hear us. We're downwind of them

There's no way out. Let's try with the oars

With this current? Where would we end up?

Never mind

Good heavens! This boat is really rolling

Don't tell me the weather's changing

A storm's all we need right now

That's it. My cigarettes are wet

No cigarettes, no gas... end of story

Never mind

What on earth are you doing standing up?

Stop talking. Stand up and act as a sail

A sail? My body as a sail?

That's quite idiotic

With evening gowns maybe...

This is sheer lunacy

A sail! To go where?

Do you know which way the wind is blowing?

No, I don't

I had to be shipwrecked with a fuckwit of a sailor

All right. Let's do the sail. Happy?

If we knew the direction of the wind, at least

Are we going south?

Don't tell me we'll end up in Africa for real

That Gaddafi guy has a bit of a temper

That'd be fun, believe me

What if they don't find us tomorrow?

I can't take another night of this

I'm sick, very sick

What will we do if we're not rescued by tomorrow?

He sleeps

That's all he can do. Great help, he is

Being shipwrecked is one thing

but with this ... this nigger!

Patience

Land! Look... there's land

Land!

Hurry up. I wouldn't want the wind to change...

-Direction? -Yes. Land!

No worries. We'll be there in 30 minutes

We'll need to watch the reef

-Why? Because of our dinghy? -Yes

Nonsense. Dinghies are made for landing

They used them to land in Normandy

They're virtually unsinkable, the ad says

Well, we should sue them. Unsinkable, my foot!

Ouch!

Help!

-I'm going to ask for help. -I'm coming

You should be a bit more patient in a situation like this

Don't you think?

It's so rugged. Ouch!

Be careful! The ground's quite rocky

Maybe I ought to go first and have a look

-You can wait here. -Certainly not, Gennarino

Out of the question

You might get lost and never find me again

No. I'd rather come with you, my dear

We're sure to come across a house, a hotel

a road, an expressway, a motel of some kind

Oh my God

The nightmare's over at last

I'm dying for a coffee. Iced, naturally

I'm afraid that coffee will be a bit hard to...

What? I can't hear you

I'm afraid we'll have problems with your coffee

Why?

We've landed on a wild, uninhabited island

-Uninhabited? -There's nothing

Not a soul to be seen

But... that's impossible. Nonsense

We're not in the South Seas

We're in the heart of the Mediterranean. It's impossible

It's possible all right

Why do you carry on like that? I'm not a child

If I say it's deserted, it's deserted

I don't believe you

Who says so, anyway? Cape Kennedy control tower?

-You didn't see properly. -I saw very well

I can assure you, there's not a soul to be seen

-It's a wild, deserted island. -That's impossible

Look around you. They look like the Dolomites

It could be Sardinia, or Sicily. How do I know?

-Go and have another look. -Up there?

-No thank you. -What?

No, I'm not going back up. I had a good look before

OK. If you want to argue, I'll be quite clear

Why should I trust you? You got me lost at sea

You fucked up the engine, you can't navigate

you're inaccurate like all Southerners

Why should I trust you as if you were Swiss?

Forget it. You're hopeless anyway

One can't draw blood from a stone

-What did you say? -Nothing

I want to know what you just said

Let's get this clear. Are you threatening me?

I said, "One can't draw blood from a stone."

Listen carefully, Mrs. Raffaella Pavone Zampetti

I'm fucking fed up with you

I do what I fucking like! Slut!

Who do you think you are? Go fuck yourself!

-You oaf! -Fuck yourself!

-Boor! -Fuck yourself!

Uncivilized lout. I'll fix him

I don't take these things lightly

I'll fix him, the turd!

-Trollop! -You'll see

Where am I going now? Ouch!

-You swine! -Whore!

You rotten bastard!

Slut, whore, harlot...

They'll all be strung up soon enough

Filthy deckhand! Fuzzy-haired Sicilian!

What do you call someone like him? A turd!

Kiss my ass!

Harlot, whore, slut

You're a turd. A king-sized turd

Scumbag! Dirty whore!

There's a limit to what a poor devil can put up with

Then he just fucking explodes

You're an immature coward

Subproletarian jerk!

It's gone to his head

What does he think he's doing?

Gennarino is no more. Fucking whore!

You're in fucking trouble

Africa, Ethiopia... Negus!

We're going to have fun, Mrs. Pancetti

-You're in fucking big trouble. -It's the slave's revolt

The Bastille all over again!

You're a whore, a hooker, a harlot

He's doing a Spartacus, this shithead

Look at the mess I'm in because of that damned oaf

You dirty, social-democratic prickteaser

Fuck!

Hey! Anybody home?

Nobody there?

Nobody

Hardly surprising in a land forsaken by God and man alike

So you're here. We're never without Christ on the cross

You're worse than Coke

A fishing net

All torn

There's nothing in here. Nothing at all

All right

You're an abject individual. A despicable coward

You'll live to regret this. There must be a law

I'll have you hailed. Neglect and dereliction

You're eating while others are starving

That's right

A law like that would put all the rich behind bars

Since we don't have it, only the poor are in jail

You fucking Communist!

If that black animal thinks he can be a turd with me

he's grossly mistaken

With all these birds around there must be eggs

Goddamn nature! I knew it

Proletarians can turn into rotten bastards

When they get hold of power, they use it

Blackmailing, depriving, exploiting

They're worse than Hitler

Damn nigger! If he thinks I'll go to him and beg

he's got it all terribly wrong

I'd rather starve to death. I swear I would

Sell me that fish

I'll pay any price

Did you understand? Playing deaf, are you?

Listen, I know you're a rotten bastard

but you wouldn't let me starve to death, would you?

All right. Let's be logical about this

You have the upper hand

How much do you want for that fish?

One hundred thousand? Two hundred?

How much do you want for that damned fish?

Come on. Enough of this joke

You're exaggerating, aren't you?

I'm ill. And I've hurt my foot too

I'll give you half a million. Scumbag!

Keep insulting me

I know it's not easy being an underdog

But there's a problem

This fish... is not for sale

Why not?

Because I've just decided to do what you bunch do

-Us, what? -Yes, what you do

When you burn fruit to keep prices high

Isn't that what you do? Well?

Murderer!

I'm an ignorant bungler

You're the smart, organized murderers

You're smoking my cigarettes. Thief!

Didn't you throw them away?

That lobster wasn't very tasty

Anyhow, listen carefully, woman

Lesson One!

No money can buy you my fish

If you want this fish, you'll have to earn it

Understand?

Wash my underpants!

Never!

Here they are

That's the best I can do

Believe me... I'm ill

Give me that fish

You don't deserve it

Besides, you should say please

Please, Gennarino. Come on

What? Gennarino?

Mr. Carunchio!

Mr. Carunchio!

Mr. Carunchio, that's right

Here's your fish

Listen. This is preposterous. And cowardly too

Well, do I have a washing machine here?

No, I don't. So someone has to wash my underpants

Mrs. Raffaella has never washed anybody's underpants before

Where are you going? Wait. I have an injured foot

Now that she's lost her status

she has to learn to wash my underpants

Wait!

Work enobles man, and woman even more so

Mr. Carunchio

I don't understand why you refuse to help me

I've hurt my foot. Look. Mr. Carunchio?

Wait for me. I have an injured foot

Where are you going. Please be kind

What's come over you? Don't you realize I'm lame?

I'm addressing you politely. It's very rude not to answer

Where's he going? Listen to me

A house?

This is wonderful

This makes a big difference

We won't have to sleep under the stars

What's he doing? Are you leaving me outside?

It's getting dark. I'm cold

I'll get a chill. Be kind, Mr. Carunchio

What do you mean?

Don't tell me you have some deviant plan in mind

You rich people can be quite depraved

Of course! What's dawned on him now?

Let's see now. Correct me if I'm wrong

I was shipwrecked and have come to this shitty place

to go to bed with you!

With a beast like you!

This great specimen of Mediterranean manhood!

Have you looked at yourself?

Yes, I have. I'm considered very handsome

Yes, by experienced women of quality

who have more femininity in their little toes

than you have in your whole body

Swine! Rotten lout!

You ugly Abyssinian!

It had to happen to me!

-I'm cold. -Pigs keep warm with leaves

I'm ill

You ludicrous, vain, black midget!

The things I've always loathed

Listen now, I find you repulsive

Did you hear me? Was I clear?

You're repulsive

I may catch pneumonia, but I had to tell him

I'm so cold

Maria... my coffee

How disgusting!

What's so good about torturing a poor woman?

A poor woman, is that what you are?

OK, a rich woman!

Come on. Let's get to work

Get it? No work, no food. Go inside and clean

But... Holy Mother! Isn't this torturing game over yet?

Why are you doing this?

Isn't our stupid shipwreck enough?

Why do you want me to pay for all social injustices?

What do you stand to gain?

When we're rescued, if you're kind to me

you won't regret it. Come on. Enough's enough!

How do you know they'll come and rescue us?

How do you know we won't have to spend years on this island?

-I'll kill myself. -Go ahead. Suit yourself

But if you want to eat, you'll have to work. OK?

-You're hurting me. -I won't be your servant

No way. The party's over. You'll wait on me now

Woman serves man and not the other way around

-You're hurting me badly. -And I'll hurt you even more

Until you learn who the master is

-Kiss the master's hand. -Pardon?

Kiss it

You damned rich slut! You made me spit blood

Even yesterday you still called me disgusting

Kiss the master's hand. Kiss it!

Or leave and don't come crying to me

I'll have no mercy

You're a worm

Lesson Two

I won't take any more insults from you

Get out of here!

Kiss it!

Kiss the master's hand

Kiss my hand

You're allowed to work now

Run!

Faster, you idiot. My fish will get away

-It's very hard here. -Quick, you moron

-I could fall and break a leg. -Run!

-You must obey at once. -I'm doing the best I can

-Why hit me? -Don't argue, woman

-What do you want from me? -When I call, you run

How can I fucking run?

Shut up, idiot! You must obey. Enough!

Some temper!

Here's the water

Why are you sitting down?

Why not? I've worked. And I deserve it

Get up

I want to be waited on

Have you ever invited me to your table on the boat?

Now I want to be served

Everyone gets their turn

Don't you agree?

This fucking lady

This wine's warm, the pasta's overdone

The coffee's stale

I want more. I'm hungry

Remember the abuse I copped from you? That'll do

You despised us. "Sweaty T-shirts... disgusting!"

Some salt

So we'd feel smellier and filthier than pigs

And we'd change our T-shirts ten times a day

because mylady was disgusted

-Gennarino, please. -Gennarino?

How dare you? Mr. Carunchio

This is a nightmare. Mr. Carunchio

Without pulling a face

Water

-It's right there! -It's warm

Fetch some from the stream

One must be patient

Unfortunately, I like it cold

Just like you and Brezhnev with your wine

Run. I'm thirsty

The last of your former smokes

The best one

You threw them away, didn't you?

What are you staring at?

I can stare at you as much as I please, woman

Think I'm staring at your ass?

Big deal!

As if I would

And when you were sprawled out in the sun like pigs?

Your tits hanging out

Yes, your tits. As if we didn't exist

As if we were animals, not human beings

But you porkers knew very well that we were men

And you relished the thought of us lusting after you

Remember?

Of course you do

Dirty capitalist slut

Show me your tits now

Come on, uncover your melons

Hear me?

Keep on playing deaf, then

Are you bashful?

Madam's bashful

How come you weren't embarrassed before?

In fact, you enjoyed it. Admit it!

You all sprawled out in the sun and us dying of lust

You naked capitalist bitches were provoking us

You perverts!

-Undress! -You filthy pig!

You're fighting back at last. Fucking bitch!

-Let go of me! -I'll teach you a lesson

-Come here. -Help! You coward!

You're a coward. Help!

-Go on, shout. -Help!

She's crying for help, the idiot

Who's going to help you? Idiot!

Let go of my hair. Stop it!

You criminal! Help!

Go on, keep screaming

You'll pay for everything

Let go of my hair. Stop it!

Kick me in the balls, eh?

Not bad for a lady

And I'll kick you in the ass

You rotten social-democrat capitalist whore!

You coward! Worm! Scum!

Swine!

-Let go of me, swine! -You'll pay for everything

Let go of my sarong

Why should I pay for all of life's injustices?

-You're obsessed. -Obsessed, my foot!

Get away, you maniac!

-I give up. -Do you? Too easy, my dear

There's a drop here

This is for the recession you and your friends caused

by dodging tax and sending money to Switzerland

What's that got to do with me?

This is for the poor devils who can't get a hospital bed

though it would kill them if they did

Why me? Am I responsible for all the evils of the world?

This is for the increase in the price of meat, parmesan

public transportation and gas

This is for the oil and retrenchments

For the Christian Democrats

VAT and the special tax

This is because you made us scared of life itself

Come here. The best part is still to come

-What are you doing? -Getting intimate

Yes, I am. I'm tearing off your panties

That's it. Let's finish this off

I'm dying to shove it up that sweet joy trail of yours

To pump you till you're totally wrecked

And make you feel what a real man is like

You've never known a real man

Filthy, powerless, capitalist whore

I hate you. But I like you

And you know it. I liked you on board, too

Dirty bitch, I can feel you're dying for it

Don't move. You have no way out

Come on, say it

Have the courage to say what you feel inside

You're bursting with desire. Hear how she moans

Like a frog squashed by a cart

Confess your burning desire. Come on, say it. Admit it

You want it. You're saying yes, you slut!

Well, it's no!

Because I'm saying no

To an ugly, illiterate lout

to someone who wore smelly T-shirts

to someone you called filthy Southerner

to someone you found disgusting

your yes is not enough!

You must love him

You must fall in love

Head over heels in love

You're already my slave. I want you as my love slave

You'll crawl at my feet, and beg for mercy

Your loins will burn with desire

with crazy passion, like a sickness

I'll get under your skin, into your head

your heart, your belly. I'm going to be your God

Is that clear? Either passion or nothing!

You don't know yet who Gennarino Carunchio is

I feel like that rabbit

You killed it

You're cruel

You're so beautiful

You're a real woman

So sweet, like a tender eel

Like a suckling pig to lick all over

You make me die, my love

No... that's not right

You must call me master

Yes, call me master. I like it

My master, my lord... hit me, kill me

Do what you like, just hold me tight

You speak so well. It really turns me on

Tell me the truth

Is this how you spoke to that jerk of a husband of yours?

What do you rich people tell each other?

How do you make love?

You rotten tart, you have orgies, don't you?

You're all perverts. You do filthy things

Real pigs, you are. You do it in fours, fives

Pigs and fags together... Do you take drugs?

Little Miss Innocent, tell me the truth

How many times have you cheated on your husband?

Did the Party tell you all rich women are sluts?

You're hurting me. Why?

Don't you dare make fun of the Party like that

Who cares about your Party right now?

The Party's sacred. Wash your mouth out

We're not on the yacht here. Idiot!

The Party's sacred and you're a slut. I'm going to screw you

My beautiful high-class tart... You're my servant now

Why?

Why?

Because

No... please don't stop

I love to see you trembling with desire

-Please... I beg you. -No!

Not now. When I say so

How many lovers have you had? With that Madonna look of yours

How many lovers? Confess

You're the first

In that a tart's voice?

You're a liar, a whore, a liar, a whore

Madam... I'm screwing you

Darling, are you awake?

Omelette with seagull's eggs, cooked in rabbit's fat

I prepared it for my precious lover

my lord and master Mr. Carunchio

It's my first omelette ever. I'll be revolting

Taste it

-Is it really bad? -Just bad

-Is this a gift? -The omelette?

No, the floral decoration

-Well, more or less. -You're all sick in the head

A decent, ordinary woman wouldn't dream of crowning it

You're right, but

I'm no longer my own self

I'm crazy, drunk, as if the Turks had raped me

pirates had abducted me, sheiks kidnapped me

Primeval sensations... I'm totally overcome. Believe me

I don't know if you realize it. It was wonderful for me

How was it for you?

Well, not too bad

He's trying to be funny, the fool

Well, then? What's all this familiarity

You have no sense of humor. I was kidding

Kidding? Where did you get that idea?

What were you thinking? Women are objects of pleasure

Amusement for the workers. That's what you are for me

I'm a bordello whore, then

-A bordello whore, why not? -That's not nice

"Whore" may be an insult

but it's also a compliment

I'm the only one who understands you

Dear Mrs. Pancetti

You never looked so happy on the yacht

Mr. Carunchio!

-Mr. Carunchio... -What's up?

I love you

Mr. Carunchio, I love you

A yacht went past. I didn't cry for help

-I hid myself till it went. -You're crazy

Yes, totally crazy about you

Swept away by a crazy dream, I've never felt so good

I don't want it to end. I love you

I love you madly

What's that for?

There are only two options

If it's a lie, it's for lying to me

If it's the truth, it's for overstepping the mark

If a boat goes by, you have to tell me

I'm the master and I decide whether to hail it or not

Understand?

Come here

Here, I said. Come on

Get this straight in your head

I'm the only one who can make decisions

I'm not kidding

-You hurt me. -But it's stopped now

Hasn't it? Ah, so it hasn't

-No. You hurt me. -Come to me

I'll make you better

You're a brute. You hit me all the time

It makes love more pleasurable

-Doesn't it feel better? -You're not a sadist, are you?

Bitch! You're more beautiful when I hit you

Christ! Your eyes look like the deviI's

Two beams of light crying out your burning desire

Where are you going? Who are you?

A serpent, a panther, a slut? Who are you?

Oh, darling... You're what man was like in nature

before everything changed

Darling, you should have

yes, you should have been the first

The very first

The first? But then there'd be a second

The first... and only one

I mean... I'm sorry I'm no longer a virgin

You should have been the one

to deflower me

to leave your mark on me

Darling

please

sodomize me

Sodomize me

Please, darling

sodomize me

Actually, I don't feel like it

I beg you, darling. You're my first real man

Sodomize me

Listen to me, you rotten bourgeois pervert

Are you using difficult words just to put me down?

What's this filthy business anyway?

-What the hell is it? -Sorry, darling

Sorry, my ass

What a way to talk! I'm ignorant and proud of it

It's just because it's a hard thing to say

Besides, I'm not familiar with your filthy ways

What do you mean, "sodorize", "motorize", whatever it is?

Sodomize me. That's it

So that's what it is. Gee, you're a roundabout!

Why not call a spade a spade?

But darling, you can't. It's an act of love

It would make it vulgar

Vulgar? There's nothing vulgar about love

Vulgarity is a middle-class invention

Where do you get these ideas from?

Yes, like that

Do you think you can say things like that to me?

Don't give yourself so many airs

"I've seen that look but once

"In the eyes of a child, bored at a party."

What are you raving on about? You should learn to sew instead

It's a very beautiful poem. It reminds me of you

Bullshit

There you go again with your big words

I don't trust you when you talk like that

-Who could trust a woman? -I'm not just any woman

-I'm your woman. -Fine words!

But what if we hadn't been shipwrecked?

You'd still be a filthy rich white, and I a destitute black

You wouldn't have given me a thought

You'd be a grand lady, and I a repulsive waiter

Everyone in his place

You're so unfair. I didn't know real love before

Are we telling fairy tales? It happened because we're here

Boundless passion, here. I'd love to see, though

Mrs. Pancetti strolling about Milan with this Southerner

Try to picture it

How much love would there be?

Maybe I'd love you even more

More? Then you're lying when you say your love is total

You must be absolutely truthful when making these statements

Because if I get angry

-I'll kill you. -Kill me?

I'll kill you

-Let's get married. -No

This is your husband's

I want something that is yours

-I want this. -My earring. OK... Ouch!

Let me do it

Hold on

There. Burt Lancaster in The Crimson Pirate

You caught me red-handed. Poor wretch

Don't be nervous. There

I'll take the bare minimum. Don't worry

No. Let's hide, my love

They won't find us in the chapel

Did you leave our wood on the beach?

No, my love!

You say you love me. I want the whole truth

What more proof do you need? You and I were born here

You said so. The world is so cruel that it can change us again

-The two of us here are real. -I'm afraid not

No. I want to know

if Mrs. Raffaella Pavone Lanzetti thinks the same as you

What do you care about what we were?

What happened to us was an unrepeatable miracle

Why be part of the system?

Of that monstrous machine that cripples us all?

I beg you, darling, let's stay here

I need proof first

Then we'll do as you say. I want proof first

Believe me. You are all I want

You're scared, aren't you?

Yes

That's why I need proof

He's so stubborn

The sailor's eating in the galley

-Get me Mrs. Lanzetti. -She's getting ready, poor thing

How fabulous! We've rescued two shipwrecks

A true sea adventure

The sea is an open door to all adventure

-Endless adventure. -That's right

-Quite romantic too. -It's the ultimate adventure

The little sailor's so cute

How did things go with Mrs. Lanzetti?

-Nothing. -That can't be

Listen. If I say nothing, I mean nothing

She's the greatest pain sailing the Mediterranean

She must have really given you the shits

A hungry, thirsty lady without her comforts

-She must have... -At first, perhaps

-But then... -She calmed down?

Necessity brought her down off her high horse

-She was totally reasonable. -Really?

She trusted you? This is quite extraordinary

You deserve a medal. Her husband will give you one

We called him on the radio. He's on his way in a chopper

Here they come! It's a Customs chopper

Thank you

You're welcome

Here's our Gennarino

A glass for our Gennarino

Gennaruzzu!

My darling! My sweetheart!

-What's all this yelling? -In my arms at last

-Stop this hullabaloo! -I thought you were dead

I couldn't stop crying

I'm alive. Now stop this act. We're in public

Pleased to meet you, madam

To think that we might never have met

If we hadn't been rescued, I mean

That's very true

-Give this to your husband. -All right

-OK. Many thanks, sir. -Thank him on my behalf

Anything you need, don't hesitate

All the best. Good-bye

I can't believe I'm touching you

When they saw me crying, the kids understood everything

They leapt with joy when they heard you were alive

-Poor little things. -They wanted to come along

That's all we needed. You shouldn't have come, either

A wife chasing her man! It's embarrassing

-Are they well? -They're dying to hug you. Me too

They were so kind. We have a room with a bath

-The guest house is over there. -The Hope Guesthouse

-People shoot themselves there. -Come off it

It overlooks the harbor

There's a rooftop restaurant where we can eat like lords

I nearly forgot. This is for you from Mr. Pavone Lanzetti

-What is it? -I don't know

Good Lord! A million!

How dare he? And how dare you accept it?

-He said it was for you. -You should've sent him to me

That's what any decent woman would have done

That pig thinks he's giving me charity

-I'm busy now. -What about me?

I'll wait for you at the Hope Guesthouse

The Hope Guesthouse!

One million

I want a beautiful, precious ring

A ring for every elegant person

It has cost 1,000,000

not a lira more or less. -Here

With a crown of diamonds, this is worth a bit more

We can come to an agreement

Is it an engagement ring?

A divorce ring

Telephone for Mrs. Pavone Lanzetti

The phone? Must be my mother. She finds me everywhere

My love

I know

You can't cry out the truth in front of everybody

Where are you?

Right opposite you. Above the harbor

At the gas station

I can see you

Listen

You've failed the test. But I don't give a damn

You know. I know you know

Listen carefully. Along the fishermen's wharf

down the harbor near the customs office

the fourth trawler, called the Santa Rosalia

belongs to a friend of mine

He's agreed to take us back to the island

He's leaving in 30 minutes, at sunset

I'll meet you there

You'll be there, won't you?

It's not all over, is it?

No, darling. Oh, Lord!

I love you more than ever

I've never loved you so much. You have no idea how much

Very well. I don't care about anything else

In 30 minutes, at the Santa Rosalia

The saint herself will protect us

She will guide us to our island

What about the others? Your wife?

I told you. I don't care about anything else

Just you and me

Your husband dared to give me 1,000,000 lire

I felt like throwing it in his face

He wanted to humble me with a tip

He doesn't know who Gennarino Carunchio is

See you in 30 minutes... my love

Madam... this is for you

-Who is it from? -The guy on the phone

Madam Raffaella, have you understood

who Gennarino Carunchio is?

-Give me 100 lire. -I've already paid you

-Did you do a good job? -Yes, but give me 100 lire more

-I have something for you -What?

100 lire first

Here

The lady I gave the gift to sent you this

You damned whore! Traitor!

May I be damned for believing you

I knew I should nave never trusted a rich woman

The rich always screw you

Rotten capitalist slut, deserting me like this

Deserting me like this

You betrayed me, sea. You were once my friend

then you broke my heart

Sea... I spit on you

You betrayed me with that slut!

You too?

Everybody saw you under the helicopter today

Are you getting above yourself?

They all saw you carrying on over that blonde slut

Don't you dare!

You scumbag

Stay away from me

Don't you ever come back home. Get lost!

Don't you worry. I'm not coming home

Ever again

I want

I want nothing more to do with you women

Enough!

We have divorce in Italy now

I want nothing more to do

If I get the shits, I'll jump in the sea and drown

I'm glad I voted no

Whore!

One whore above, and one below

A sea that betrays you

How the fuck can I go on like this?