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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:35,696 Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. 2 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:38,534 You know what it means. Last week, 3 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:45,876 the assignment was to write an essay about your family. 4 00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:49,439 - Who they... - Are! 5 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,508 And what they... 6 00:00:51,586 --> 00:00:53,850 Mean to us! 7 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:57,413 Excellent droning. So I want everyone to take out their essays. 8 00:00:57,659 --> 00:01:02,096 We're going to read them aloud to the class right up here. 9 00:01:02,864 --> 00:01:10,600 My mom says that me and my dad have very healthy appetites. 10 00:01:10,672 --> 00:01:13,402 My mom and dad are very religious. 11 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:18,207 When they're in their bedroom at night, I always hear them yelling, “Jesus!” 12 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:24,240 My mom says my dad's eyes are brown because he is so full of sh... 13 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,307 Brian! 14 00:01:26,421 --> 00:01:28,753 My brother Jack is in eighth grade. 15 00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:31,451 He told me to ask my dad who he voted for... 16 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,357 for... for President. 17 00:01:33,428 --> 00:01:36,488 I did and my Dad said he's a total Bush-man. 18 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,727 That made my brother laugh really hard. 19 00:01:40,802 --> 00:01:44,465 Whenever my Uncle Stu comes over to play pool with my dad, 20 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:49,670 my mom says the basement smells like a Cheech and Chong movie. 21 00:01:49,744 --> 00:01:52,212 Well... it's like this. 22 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,908 My dog ate my paper. 23 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,973 I checked, but he didn't poop it out. 24 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:00,987 What a lovely sentiment, Mr. Etheridge. 25 00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:04,582 Maybe your dog can eat the zero you'll be receiving too. 26 00:02:04,659 --> 00:02:08,493 - Aw, man! - Harsh. 27 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:11,726 Miss Trinke? It's your turn now. 28 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:27,681 My dad says life can be split into two categories: 29 00:02:27,749 --> 00:02:30,877 New Jersey... and New York. 30 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,563 My dad was a Jersey boy who became the youngest 31 00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:49,762 and most successful music publicist in New York City. 32 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,967 By the time he was 27, he had 100 people working for him. 33 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:58,637 And even though they all loved him, he loved them even more. 34 00:02:58,713 --> 00:03:02,171 My fellow flacks and spin doctors. 35 00:03:02,817 --> 00:03:04,341 Salud. 36 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:08,912 Daddy loved his job, but not as much as he loved my mom. 37 00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,982 Mommy was a book editor in New York City when her and Daddy met. 38 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,551 Daddy said their jobs were kind of the same... 39 00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:18,394 they made slight corrections for their clients. 40 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:24,200 Because George Michael is a pimp who is all about the ladies, my friend. 41 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:27,764 Come on, “I Want Your Sex”? That sound like he's singing to a guy? 42 00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:32,841 Daddy worked so much that sometimes Mommy could only see him late at night. 43 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:37,072 Daddy says that's why they both loved the city so much... 44 00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:39,142 it never went to sleep. 45 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,152 And neither did him and Mommy. 46 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:46,886 But after a year of romance in New York City, 47 00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:49,759 Daddy said it was time to show Mommy where he came from. 48 00:03:50,865 --> 00:03:55,063 So he took her home to New Jersey and put her through what he said 49 00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:58,799 was the biggest test their love would ever face: 50 00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:01,341 “Introducing her to my pop. “ 51 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,102 - Hey, how are ya? - How're ya doin'? 52 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,546 - How're ya doin' yourself? - This is Gertrude. 53 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:11,346 Hi. Merry Christmas. 54 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:17,157 - And what do you do, Mr. Trinke? - Easy on the “Mr. Trinke”. It's Bart. 55 00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:19,352 I work for the borough, for 30 years now. 56 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:22,863 He's the only man in Highlands licensed to operate the street sweeper. 57 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,127 Oh, man, I always wanted to ride in one of those things. 58 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:30,159 Well, you continue seeing my son, I can probably get you a turn at the wheel. 59 00:04:30,238 --> 00:04:34,140 I was only gonna sleep with him a few more times and then dump him, 60 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,835 but now, after an offer like that... 61 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:38,470 Holy shit. Listen to the mouth on this one! 62 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,946 Oh, yeah, they don't make 'em like Mom anymore, do they, Dad? 63 00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:44,348 - Now, listen, I'm goin' to the bar. - What a shock. 64 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,854 If you guys are gonna do anything while I'm gone, stay the hell off of my bed. 65 00:04:47,922 --> 00:04:52,325 - You're going to a bar? - Didn't he tell ya? I'm an alcoholic. 66 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:56,227 - Well, I wanna go to the bar too. - No, you don't wanna go to this bar. 67 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:59,232 It's a bunch of old guys talkin' about how good they had it under Kennedy. 68 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,530 The man was a goddamn saint. 69 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:05,436 I'm goin' to the bar with your dad. You can come if you want. 70 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,474 No, that's OK. I'll stay here and do the dishes. 71 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,441 I only cooked. Why shouldn't I clean? 72 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,240 Suit yourself. But don't wash that pan. 73 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:16,750 I got a layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don't want you scrubbin' it off. 74 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,785 That “juice” is called grease, Dad. 75 00:05:18,853 --> 00:05:20,946 It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries. 76 00:05:21,022 --> 00:05:24,480 It's called juice. And it greases a father's insides 77 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:28,187 so that he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year 78 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,253 when he can be bothered coming to visit him. 79 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:34,261 So that night, Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar, 80 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,762 where she got to meet Pop's other children, 81 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,306 his best friends Greenie and Block. 82 00:05:41,142 --> 00:05:43,804 Hey, your kid's cuttin' a rug. 83 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,077 Who are you, Connie Chung? 84 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:56,385 Daddy said, because Mommy survived her first trip to Jersey, 85 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,618 he knew she was a keeper. 86 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:09,492 He said they celebrated their engagement by going out for pizza. 87 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:13,065 And that's how I got here. 88 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,802 Do we have enough of these at home, or should I steal some? 89 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,709 If you're gonna steal something, steal some rubber gloves. 90 00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:36,585 - Thank you! - You're welcome! 91 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:41,364 And with that, everyone lived happily ever after. 92 00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:43,469 Almost. 93 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,097 Look, you've got two minutes, and then we have to go, OK? 94 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,403 - Or I'm gonna leave. - Would you stop rushing me? 95 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:52,037 I don't understand how somebody who had all day sitting around to get ready 96 00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:53,876 waits till 20 minutes before we have to leave! 97 00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:56,178 You try getting anything accomplished with this big gut in your way! 98 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,549 This is one of the few days of the year that I can be fired for being late! 99 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:04,580 Anytime that you wanna carry this baby, Ollie, you let me know! OK? 100 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,821 I would be glad to go back to wearing regular dresses instead of this tent! 101 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,227 The dress looks fine. It's gorgeous, OK? It's beautiful. 102 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,561 Yeah, until I'm standing next to Janet Jackson or Sheryl Crow. 103 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,430 Then you'll see how not fine it looks. 104 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:17,596 Gertie, I asked you, please, to use your own brush, OK? 105 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,536 - Can you just not use my brush? - Don't start. 106 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,370 It's just that every time I wanna comb my hair 107 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:25,970 I spend 15 minutes taking these long, bushy hairs out of my brush. 108 00:07:26,047 --> 00:07:27,674 And I mean, you ask me to... 109 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:30,916 I'm sorry. 110 00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:34,352 Baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 111 00:07:34,422 --> 00:07:38,051 You don't understand what it's like to be this fat! 112 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,094 I've always been thin, and now I'm a disgusting pig! 113 00:07:41,162 --> 00:07:43,824 And it's my first time going to the Video Music Awards 114 00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:48,062 and all the other girls are gonna be skinny, and I'm gonna look like a whale! 115 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:52,299 Baby, baby, they're just skinny 'cause they're all coked-out whores. 116 00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:54,841 I wanna be a coked-out whore! 117 00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,900 OK, you can be a coked-out whore too. 118 00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,413 You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore. 119 00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,382 - I'm sorry. - I should be more sensitive. I'm sorry. 120 00:08:03,451 --> 00:08:06,045 I should be more sensitive, honey. I know. 121 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,815 - Yes. - I know. 122 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,948 - Baby, we have to go now, OK? - OK. 123 00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:13,391 - I love you. We have to go now. - OK. 124 00:08:13,461 --> 00:08:15,952 - I love you too. - All right, let's go. OK? 125 00:08:16,030 --> 00:08:18,897 Just give me two minutes. 126 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,291 - What time is it? - 20 after. 127 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,667 - She's gonna kill me! - I need the quote for the Madonna release. 128 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:30,370 OK. “Madonna trusts the public will judge for itself that... 129 00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:33,845 this latest in a long line of breakthrough music videos 130 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,974 is not the tasteless sexploitation it's accused of being.” 131 00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:41,249 - “It's artistic expression.” - Of what? 132 00:08:41,322 --> 00:08:46,692 Of one woman's constant need to show the world... her labia. 133 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,057 Hey, can I use the word “labia” in a press release? 134 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,743 See you next week. 135 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,458 One of these days, I'll get me one of those husbands that show up for Lamaze. 136 00:09:20,528 --> 00:09:23,088 I'm sorry, babe. It was Madonna. 137 00:09:23,164 --> 00:09:26,292 So you were late because of another woman. That's nice. 138 00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:29,996 - Come on. I still gotta do my job. - And I still gotta do mine too. 139 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,163 But I was at Lamaze on time. 140 00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:36,467 Look, all I'm saying is 141 00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:40,776 that guy who used to spend all night at the office and barely live in his apartment? 142 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,839 That's not you anymore. 143 00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:45,442 Now you have to be the guy who's done by six 144 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:49,478 and comes home and hangs out with his family. 145 00:09:49,557 --> 00:09:51,889 That's the only way we're gonna work. 146 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,992 OK? 147 00:09:57,398 --> 00:09:58,922 OK. 148 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,231 - OK. - OK. 149 00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:03,293 OK! 150 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,402 - OK. - OK. 151 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,144 - Can I help you? - Yes. 152 00:10:14,215 --> 00:10:17,048 My wife's water broke. She's gonna have a baby. 153 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,347 - You're gonna have to check in, hon. - Check in?! 154 00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:23,379 Where, at the concierge desk?! Why are you being so combative with me?! 155 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:26,893 First of all, take your hands off my uniform. 156 00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:30,419 And second, I'm gonna need a patient here. 157 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,329 This is my wife. This is the belligerent nurse 158 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,167 that's being so difficult with me, giving me such a hard time. 159 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,573 - I'm sorry. He's a little panicky. - Can I get a wheelchair? 160 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,338 - Let's get you up to delivery... - OK. 161 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,379 - ...and let him fill out the paperwork. - OK. 162 00:10:46,447 --> 00:10:48,915 - If we can trust him with a pen. - Here, sweetie. 163 00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:51,383 OK, just relax, breathe. Remember, take it easy. 164 00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:53,545 I love you. I'll be right there, OK? I love you. 165 00:10:53,621 --> 00:10:55,714 - I love you too. - OK, I love you. 166 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:59,748 We've practiced this 1,000 times. It'll be great. How hard can it be? 167 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:05,460 - Push! You're doing good. - You're doing real good. 168 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,296 - No, I can't! I can't do it! - Take a breath. 169 00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:11,167 - It hurts! - I know it hurts. 170 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:14,298 It's OK, baby. Push. You can do it. 171 00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:17,538 Take a deep breath. In five, four... 172 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:19,909 - OK? Here you go. - ...three, two, one. 173 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:23,472 Push. Push harder, Gertie. Push harder. 174 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,178 The baby's crowning. I can see her. I just need one more push. 175 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,721 - Can you see her? - Holy shit! I can see the head! 176 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:32,316 - One more. Breathe. - Push! It's almost there, baby. 177 00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:34,418 Push! You're doing it. Push! 178 00:11:34,495 --> 00:11:36,656 Push! 179 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,796 Here she comes! Here she comes! 180 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,268 Here she is. 181 00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:45,862 - Do you wanna cut the cord, Dad? - Yeah. 182 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,338 Scissors, please. 183 00:11:47,408 --> 00:11:53,313 Yes! And she's got all ten fingers, ten toes. 184 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,908 We'll get her all cleaned up and then we're gonna check... 185 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:58,974 Gertie? 186 00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,953 - Baby, look. - Gertie? 187 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:02,919 Gertie! 188 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,983 Gertie, can you hear me? 189 00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:09,587 - She's OK. Sweetheart? - Nurse, get Dr. Mortimer right away! 190 00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:11,824 She's resting. Who's Dr. Mortimer? 191 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:12,888 Dr. Mortimer! 192 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,900 - What's happening? - She's unresponsive. 193 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,663 - Gertie! - Gertie! Gertie! 194 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:19,706 Gertie, it's me! Gertie? 195 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,003 Healthy baby. Unresponsive. 196 00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:24,510 - Respiratory arrest. - Turn it around! 197 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:28,105 - What's happening to my wife? - Let's open that IV, please. 198 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:31,913 Baby, are you OK? Sweetheart, sweetheart, wake up! 199 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:35,284 Please, someone take Mr. Trinke outside. Please! 200 00:12:35,356 --> 00:12:37,381 I'm gonna have to intubate. 201 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,722 Gertie, wake up, my love. Wake up. 202 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,886 Gertie, please. Wake up. 203 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,590 Get off me! Gertie! 204 00:12:45,666 --> 00:12:48,999 I wanna stay with my wife! Gertie! Gertie! 205 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,060 What's happening?! 206 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:14,159 - Ollie... - If I don't get to go in there right now... 207 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,695 - I swear to God! - Ollie... Ollie, calm down. 208 00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:17,890 Fuck you, calm down! OK?! 209 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,933 I got dragged out of there, I haven't got to see my baby! 210 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,299 Your baby is fine. She's healthy, she's normal. 211 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:27,101 - What's wrong with Gertie? - I need you to calm down before I... 212 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,836 Look, I'm calm! OK?! 213 00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,805 I'm calm. 214 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:40,045 We think Gertie had an aneurysm. 215 00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:44,381 Is she OK? 216 00:13:46,727 --> 00:13:48,718 We lost her, Ollie. 217 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:55,899 The strain of the contractions and the pushing caused the aneurysm to rupture. 218 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,938 There are rarely symptoms for aneurysms... 219 00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:07,375 ♪ I drew a picture of you 220 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,787 ♪ You and your anchor tattoo 221 00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:21,955 ♪ And saw the face that I knew 222 00:14:24,398 --> 00:14:27,162 ♪ Covered in shame 223 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:36,436 ♪ You drew the bird that was here 224 00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:43,744 ♪ The kind of sweet chanticleer 225 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:51,085 ♪ But with a terrible fear 226 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:57,053 ♪ That the cage couldn't tame 227 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:10,643 ♪ That's how I knew the story would break my heart 228 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:15,215 ♪ When you're older 229 00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:25,486 ♪ That's how I knew the story would break my heart 230 00:15:42,576 --> 00:15:44,567 You sure you're OK with this, Dad? 231 00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:47,637 What, OK? She's my granddaughter. 232 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,980 Yeah, you can stay with me anytime, can't you? 233 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,849 Yes, you can. 234 00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:57,755 Until you're a teenager, with the boys and a reefer. 235 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,725 Then I don't wanna know about you. 236 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,252 I wouldn't impose on you, you know. 237 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:08,563 I just got a lot of work... piled up from before and... 238 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:14,437 - I'll be back late tonight, OK? - Yeah, take your time. 239 00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:23,281 Your daddy really misses your mommy, kid. I miss her too. 240 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,443 Especially right now. 241 00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:28,444 Oh, Jesus! 242 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,454 Yeah. 243 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:42,199 - You wanted to see me, Ollie? - Yeah, come on in. 244 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,972 I didn't think you were gonna be in this week. How you doin'? 245 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,031 - You all right? - I'm fine. 246 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:52,442 Look, this piece in the Post. Why didn't you call me when this broke? 247 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:56,642 - I had to read about it in New Jersey. - It's cool. The nurse is a fan. 248 00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:59,914 Will she still be a fan when the Enquirer flashes a stack of 50s in her face? 249 00:16:59,987 --> 00:17:03,548 Listen, something like this breaks, I'm not in the city, 250 00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:05,819 you find me or you find another job. 251 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,553 Yeah, OK. 252 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,593 OK. 253 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,293 What else do we got? 254 00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,634 Will Smith. 255 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:21,572 - Who? - The Fresh Prince? 256 00:17:21,642 --> 00:17:24,076 “DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince” Fresh Prince? 257 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,736 - Yeah. - What about him? 258 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:28,906 You remember the first album, the one with “Girls Ain't... 259 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,246 - Rock the House. Yeah? - Rock the House, right. 260 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:36,255 You remember on the cover of the album Jazzy Jeff is holding a model of a house? 261 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,449 Vaguely. 262 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:40,493 Will Smith is donating that house to the Hard Rock Cafe. 263 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,188 Well, stop the presses. You put the word out yet? 264 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,322 - Date pending, yeah. - Anybody give a shit? 265 00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:50,132 - Every outlet wants in. - You're kidding me? 266 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,467 No. Even US News and World Report. 267 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,508 Why? It's an eight-year-old album. 268 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,476 Doesn't matter. Everyone loves that Fresh Prince TV show. 269 00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:02,276 He's got that movie coming out in a couple of weeks, Independence Day. 270 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:06,115 - Let the film division handle it. - No, we can't. 271 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:09,155 Will wants to keep his music career separate from his movie career. 272 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:13,488 Like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air is ever gonna have a movie career. 273 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:18,496 Get me everything you can. I'll put together a press kit on him, and we'll just do it. 274 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,054 OK. 275 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:22,397 - Patty, get me Kirsch. - Sure, Ollie. 276 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:26,565 I can handle this Fresh Prince stuff if you wanna take a couple of days... 277 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:30,906 Hey, Arthur, I can do my job. I'm all set, OK? You do your job. Go ahead. 278 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,468 Patty, did you not hear me? I asked you to please get Kirsch on the phone. 279 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:34,844 - Ollie? - I'm trying. 280 00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:36,177 What, man? 281 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,741 I know I told you at the funeral, but I'm really sorry... 282 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,685 I'm fine. OK, Arthur? I am fine! 283 00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:44,087 Please go do what I asked you to do now. 284 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,421 - Kirschner on one. - OK! Put him on the phone then! 285 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,053 - How's the baby? - The baby is fine, Arthur! 286 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,529 Forget about the baby! I just wanna do my job! 287 00:18:52,099 --> 00:18:55,398 Jesus Christ, Ollie! What the hell you screamin' about? 288 00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,768 Patty, was that... 289 00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,051 I'm working on that right now. Don't worry. 290 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,610 Just get there early and deal with the menu. OK? 291 00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:18,124 Hey! Are you deaf? The kid is cryin' up there. 292 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:21,591 Can you deal with that? I'm doing something important. OK? Thanks. 293 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,720 What the hell could be more important than your kid crying? 294 00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:26,288 I have a memorabilia donation ceremony in the morning 295 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,800 that my company is treating like a royal wedding 296 00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:32,737 'cause apparently the client's the most beloved American musician since Elvis. 297 00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:34,967 The kid's been screaming for the last ten minutes. 298 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:38,135 If it bothers you so much, go up there and give her a bottle. OK? 299 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:41,044 Sorry. It's a nightmare trying to work at this house. 300 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,747 Jesus! Let me call you back, OK? 301 00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:48,017 - What, Dad? - Listen, kid. 302 00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:52,582 I lost a wife too, remember? So I get how you're feelin'. But come on. 303 00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,492 You were married for what, 20 years? I got about 20 minutes. 304 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,395 So you don't “get” how I'm feeling at all, OK? 305 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,764 I'm sorry, Oliver, but that don't change the fact that you're a goddamn father now 306 00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:04,235 and you haven't acted like it since that kid got home from the hospital! 307 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,638 I been calling in sick for a month to do the things you're supposed to be doin'! 308 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,109 Jesus Christ, if Gertie could see the shit you've been pulling... 309 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:17,643 Gertie doesn't see anything anymore, Dad. She's dead. 310 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,579 Yeah, she's dead. 311 00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:26,692 But you ain't. And neither is that kid. 312 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,467 Yeah. It's nothin'. 313 00:20:43,143 --> 00:20:45,873 All right, so I'm gonna do the kit. It's almost finished. 314 00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:48,972 You can deal with the menu. What time's Will getting there? 315 00:21:00,227 --> 00:21:02,855 Dad, the baby's up! 316 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,325 Dad! The baby needs to be fed! 317 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:14,837 Dad! 318 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,506 What the hell...?! 319 00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:29,178 Are you nuts? What, are you trying to get killed?! 320 00:21:29,256 --> 00:21:32,487 - What are you doing? - Searching for Christ. What's it look like? 321 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:35,357 It would have been nice if you'd told me you were leaving the house! 322 00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:39,023 That way, I could've given you the baby instead of driving all the way down here! 323 00:21:39,099 --> 00:21:42,728 - Now I'm gonna hit traffic! - No, you ain't giving me the baby. 324 00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:49,535 Hey! Excuse me? 325 00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,702 I got uptown and downtown to do this morning. 326 00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:55,646 - You're on your own with the kid today. - What?! No! 327 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:58,616 I have this press conference I have to do this morning, Dad! You know that! 328 00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:02,587 - I got a job to do too. - If I don't leave right now... 329 00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:04,749 - So leave! - And do what with the baby?! 330 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,520 - Take her with you! - Goddamn it! I... 331 00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:11,520 Look, I know I haven't been helping out that much with the baby... 332 00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:13,589 Listen to you, “Helping out that much with the baby.” 333 00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:15,191 She's your daughter, for Christ's sakes! 334 00:22:15,268 --> 00:22:20,001 - What am I supposed to do with her?! - Try acting like her father, shithead! 335 00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,465 Goddamn it! 336 00:22:56,076 --> 00:22:57,566 Folks, I'm sorry. 337 00:22:59,179 --> 00:23:02,842 - Sorry. Steve. - What the...?! 338 00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:05,976 - I ordered diapers. Did they get here yet? - You mean baby diapers? 339 00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:08,384 Why didn't you start half an hour ago? You shouldn't have waited for me! 340 00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:10,650 - We're waiting for Will. - Will's not here?! 341 00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:13,192 - No. - Are either of you guys Trinket? 342 00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,159 - Close enough. Where is he? - We're not sure. 343 00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:17,958 Damn! That baby smells like shit. You know that, right? 344 00:23:18,031 --> 00:23:19,794 It's a good thing you finally showed up, man. 345 00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:23,165 - They're gettin' all rowdy out there. - Oh, Mother of God! 346 00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,033 - What? Jesus... - Ollie! 347 00:23:25,105 --> 00:23:28,734 Ollie, the guy from Rolling Stone... Holy shit! What is that smell? 348 00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:32,005 Grow up, Susan! It's a dirty diaper. What did the Rolling Stone guy say? 349 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,069 If we don't start in five minutes, they're leaving 350 00:23:34,147 --> 00:23:36,615 to go cover the Blues Traveler signing at Tower. 351 00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:39,914 - Jesus Christ! - Hey, you're doing that wrong. 352 00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:42,011 - What? - You're doing that wrong. 353 00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:45,023 You're supposed to wipe front to back. You're wiping back to front. 354 00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:48,424 You do that, you're just wiping the poop into her... 355 00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:50,326 crevice. 356 00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:52,726 Get outta here! Beat it! 357 00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:55,165 Mark my words, you're gonna give her the crotch-rot. 358 00:23:55,235 --> 00:23:57,328 - Would one of you do... You do this. - Oh, not me. No. 359 00:23:57,404 --> 00:23:59,395 Will you do this so I can go out there and calm them down? 360 00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:02,703 Why, because I'm a girl? I've never even seen a naked baby. No! 361 00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:05,404 Fine. Thank you very much. I'm gonna remember this. 362 00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:09,039 - How much of this am I supposed to use? - Should I get that guy back? 363 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:11,515 If it's for the smell, I suggest you use a lot. 364 00:24:11,584 --> 00:24:16,078 You gotta turn... turn it. You gotta turn the top! 365 00:24:16,156 --> 00:24:18,784 Oh! Direct it at the baby. 366 00:24:18,858 --> 00:24:23,295 Thank you! Go out there, please, and tell them we're about to start! 367 00:24:28,268 --> 00:24:30,259 I'd say more. 368 00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:36,535 That's a lot. 369 00:24:39,512 --> 00:24:41,912 All right, the Fresh Prince is almost here. 370 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,075 Is that blow on your shirt? 371 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:49,110 What do you think, Stretch? This is show business, right? 372 00:24:49,189 --> 00:24:52,590 - That was a joke, people. - Where's the Fresh Prince? 373 00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,991 The Fresh Prince is on his way. 374 00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:56,926 - It's crying. Will you take it? - No! No. 375 00:24:56,996 --> 00:25:00,295 Is that Jazzy Jeff? 376 00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:02,527 This is bullshit! Where's the Fresh Prince? 377 00:25:02,602 --> 00:25:05,298 Will someone please shut that girl up? 378 00:25:05,371 --> 00:25:08,169 Enough with the Romper Room, man! Bring out the Fresh Prince! 379 00:25:08,241 --> 00:25:10,141 Fresh Prince! Fresh Prince! 380 00:25:11,211 --> 00:25:13,736 Please take her. 381 00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:16,239 I... 382 00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:23,221 Goddamn it! Christ! Give her to me! Give me the baby. 383 00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:38,431 Would you people just shut the hell up with the “Fresh Prince” already?! 384 00:25:38,505 --> 00:25:40,564 He's a two-bit TV actor... 385 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,938 who won't be around any longer than it takes for the ink to dry 386 00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:47,810 on the pages of the worthless rags you jerk-offs write for! 387 00:25:51,484 --> 00:25:53,349 Shit. 388 00:25:55,822 --> 00:25:58,313 - That guy's toast. - That's a hell of a quote. 389 00:26:08,501 --> 00:26:10,901 ♪ Well, I looked over Jordan 390 00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:13,598 ♪ And what did I see? 391 00:26:13,673 --> 00:26:15,231 It's all right, Arthur. 392 00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:20,769 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home 393 00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:26,477 ♪ A band of angels 394 00:26:26,553 --> 00:26:30,045 ♪ Coming after me 395 00:26:30,123 --> 00:26:35,720 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 396 00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:46,570 ♪ Swing low, sweet chariot 397 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:52,678 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 398 00:26:52,745 --> 00:26:58,945 ♪ Swing low, sweet chariot 399 00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:04,487 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 400 00:27:06,559 --> 00:27:14,559 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 401 00:27:21,774 --> 00:27:23,264 We won't be here too long, Dad. 402 00:27:23,343 --> 00:27:26,835 We'll be out of your hair as soon as I get another job. 403 00:27:26,913 --> 00:27:29,711 I have some feelers out to the other firms right now. 404 00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:32,842 As soon as this whole thing blows over... 405 00:27:32,919 --> 00:27:37,583 It's OK to stay here as long as you need to, till you get back on your feet. 406 00:27:37,657 --> 00:27:40,217 - I appreciate that. - On one condition. 407 00:27:40,293 --> 00:27:44,787 - Here we go. - You put the kid to bed every night. 408 00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:47,856 - That's it? - For starters. 409 00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:51,028 And no whores. I don't want no whores in my house. 410 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:55,434 I'm not really a whoremonger, Dad. 411 00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:58,033 Here, the kid gets this. 412 00:27:58,111 --> 00:28:01,444 That's cute. 8:00, you both get a bottle. 413 00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:06,042 Just shut the hell up and go be a father, would ya, please? 414 00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:31,733 No? 415 00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:43,113 Yeah, this is only temporary, us... you know... 416 00:28:43,189 --> 00:28:45,817 living with your grandfather here. 417 00:28:47,527 --> 00:28:49,427 So... 418 00:28:50,997 --> 00:28:54,125 how about that Fresh Prince thing? 419 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,430 It was quite a show. 420 00:28:57,070 --> 00:28:59,698 Your dad's one big horse's ass. 421 00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:04,733 Daddy's ex-bosses said the guys who did PR for Hitler 422 00:29:04,811 --> 00:29:08,679 have a better chance of working in this business again than Daddy does. 423 00:29:12,552 --> 00:29:14,884 So, OK... 424 00:29:16,322 --> 00:29:18,790 How're you doin'? 425 00:29:22,228 --> 00:29:26,460 Yeah... You know, you kinda look like your mom. 426 00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:30,434 Like a squishier, balder version of your mom. 427 00:29:36,309 --> 00:29:38,277 Man... 428 00:29:38,344 --> 00:29:41,677 I just wish you could've gotten to meet your mom. 429 00:29:42,648 --> 00:29:47,551 I know she wanted to meet you... in a big, bad way. 430 00:29:50,323 --> 00:29:52,587 In a big, bad way. 431 00:29:56,996 --> 00:30:01,626 Sometimes, Daddy wishes he'd have died instead of Mommy. 432 00:30:02,502 --> 00:30:05,437 Because Mommy never would've... 433 00:30:05,505 --> 00:30:09,305 let work get in the way of... getting to know you, 434 00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:14,108 like Daddy has for the last... month or so. 435 00:30:17,183 --> 00:30:21,847 It's just that Daddy... he didn't expect Mommy... 436 00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:25,414 to leave the way she did. 437 00:30:28,261 --> 00:30:33,665 It's just really hard on Daddy, who's been trying to fill up his days with work, 438 00:30:33,733 --> 00:30:39,035 so he wouldn't have to think about Mommy never being around again. 439 00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:42,940 I just loved your mom so much. 440 00:30:43,009 --> 00:30:45,000 You know? 441 00:30:45,978 --> 00:30:48,412 She really lit my world on fire. 442 00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:53,111 When that happens... 443 00:30:54,120 --> 00:31:00,081 you kinda think it'll go on like that until one of you dies. You know? 444 00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:03,253 You just don't expect... 445 00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:06,594 I miss her so much. So, so much. 446 00:31:13,239 --> 00:31:17,972 And you're a little piece of Mommy. And that makes you really special to Daddy. 447 00:31:30,990 --> 00:31:32,981 Just don't go anywhere. 448 00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:36,551 'Cause you're the next best thing to Mommy, and I love you so much. 449 00:31:36,629 --> 00:31:38,893 And I'll always be here for you. 450 00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:42,162 And I'm sorry about the way I've been acting. 451 00:31:42,235 --> 00:31:46,672 I promise you... I'll be better now. 452 00:31:46,739 --> 00:31:50,072 I'm gonna be the best daddy in the world. 453 00:31:50,142 --> 00:31:55,136 'Cause that's what Mommy wanted. And that's what you deserve. 454 00:31:56,682 --> 00:31:59,116 And that's all I am now. 455 00:32:00,319 --> 00:32:02,787 I'm just your dad. 456 00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:24,402 Your dad likes to run off at the mouth sometimes, I know. 457 00:32:28,915 --> 00:32:31,543 Your mother wasn't a fan, either. 458 00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:37,015 You wanna see a picture of your mom? I have one. 459 00:32:38,758 --> 00:32:42,660 This was your mommy. She was really pretty. 460 00:32:43,262 --> 00:32:45,753 OK. You can keep it. 461 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,994 Daddy's got a bunch. 462 00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:53,861 There you go. 463 00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:07,080 Goodnight, Gertie. 464 00:33:32,311 --> 00:33:34,677 ♪ Worlds... 465 00:33:35,948 --> 00:33:38,678 ♪ They rise and fall 466 00:33:40,553 --> 00:33:41,315 Gertie! 467 00:33:41,387 --> 00:33:43,480 ♪ Within her eyes 468 00:33:44,657 --> 00:33:47,251 Your chariot awaits, Princess. 469 00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:49,123 Let's go! 470 00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:53,831 We gotta go! Argh! 471 00:33:53,899 --> 00:33:56,197 ♪ To fly in the sky 472 00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:58,168 - How was school, good? - Mm-hm. 473 00:33:58,237 --> 00:33:59,829 - You have a nice time? - Yep. 474 00:33:59,905 --> 00:34:02,738 Remember to put your seat belt on? Know where to find it? 475 00:34:02,808 --> 00:34:03,297 Yep. 476 00:34:03,376 --> 00:34:08,837 Lock and load. Comin' around. Get ready. 477 00:34:17,790 --> 00:34:20,623 - Ready? - Punch it, Chewy! 478 00:34:23,696 --> 00:34:26,290 - Can we go see Cats? - Absolutely not. 479 00:34:26,365 --> 00:34:27,423 Why? 480 00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,934 Cats was the second-worst thing that ever happened to New York City. 481 00:34:30,002 --> 00:34:33,802 - Besides, Cats closed three years ago. - We never do anything cool. 482 00:34:33,873 --> 00:34:37,502 You're ridin' in the Batmobile, aren't ya? How cool is that? 483 00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:39,100 Oh, my God. 484 00:34:39,178 --> 00:34:41,976 Look, no one's more depressed than me that driving the street sweeper 485 00:34:42,048 --> 00:34:44,380 is considered the height of excitement in my life. 486 00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:46,281 I used to live in New York City. 487 00:34:46,352 --> 00:34:48,343 I could've gone to see Cats three times a day. 488 00:34:48,421 --> 00:34:52,289 - It's not like I ever ask for anything. - Oh-ho-ho! 489 00:34:52,358 --> 00:34:54,622 “And the Oscar goes to Gertie Trinke, 490 00:34:54,694 --> 00:34:57,857 for her performance in Laying It On Thick For My Old Man.” 491 00:34:59,532 --> 00:35:01,500 What is it with you and Cats all of a sudden? 492 00:35:01,567 --> 00:35:04,468 I wanna sing a Cats song in the big show, like everybody else. 493 00:35:04,537 --> 00:35:07,335 - What big show? - There's gonna be this big show at school. 494 00:35:07,406 --> 00:35:10,603 All the people have to sing a song with people from their family. 495 00:35:10,676 --> 00:35:14,669 - Are you inviting me to this big show? - Duh! Yeah, you and Pop too. 496 00:35:14,747 --> 00:35:18,183 Oh-ho! I'm sure that'll go over huge with your pop. 497 00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:20,411 Can Uncle Greenie and Uncle Block be in it too? 498 00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:23,887 Those men are not your uncles. They're barely even your peers. 499 00:35:23,956 --> 00:35:25,014 Pee-ers? 500 00:35:25,091 --> 00:35:28,754 - When is this big show? - Right before Thanksgiving break. 501 00:35:28,828 --> 00:35:30,591 Does it have to be something from the Bible? 502 00:35:30,663 --> 00:35:33,223 I don't think so. Is Cats in the Bible? 503 00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:35,927 The Satanic Bible, yes. 504 00:35:44,944 --> 00:35:47,606 - What? - When you taking her to see the cats? 505 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,046 Jesus, you too? 506 00:35:50,116 --> 00:35:51,879 Gertie! 507 00:35:53,519 --> 00:35:55,612 Do you even know what Cats is, Dad? 508 00:35:55,688 --> 00:35:59,522 - What, I don't read the papers? - You don't read that paper. 509 00:35:59,592 --> 00:36:01,423 What are you doing with a New York Times? 510 00:36:01,494 --> 00:36:03,018 They ran out of the Ledger. 511 00:36:03,095 --> 00:36:05,586 They don't have the Jumble in the Times, Dad. 512 00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,962 Shit. 513 00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:10,726 - Where were you? - I was in the bathroom. 514 00:36:10,803 --> 00:36:14,136 - Why didn't I hear the toilet flush? - Oh. I forgot. 515 00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:16,970 OK, march your butt back upstairs and flush that toilet. 516 00:36:17,042 --> 00:36:18,805 And when I say no about something, 517 00:36:18,878 --> 00:36:21,369 like, I don't know, Cats, maybe, I mean no. 518 00:36:21,447 --> 00:36:22,709 OK? 519 00:36:22,782 --> 00:36:27,310 - Pop, you were supposed to be subtle! - Why do you teach her words like that? 520 00:36:27,386 --> 00:36:29,877 You're gonna have to mow the park for me tomorrow. I can't do it. 521 00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:32,924 - Why the hell not? - I have an appointment in the city at 11:00. 522 00:36:32,992 --> 00:36:35,483 Jesus, kid, why do you keep doin' it to yourself? 523 00:36:35,561 --> 00:36:37,620 How many of these interviews you gotta go on 524 00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:39,095 before you get it through your thick head 525 00:36:39,165 --> 00:36:41,497 they don't want you in that business anymore? 526 00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:44,331 For Christ's sakes, you made fun of that Prince Charles guy. 527 00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:46,394 Thank you. 528 00:36:46,472 --> 00:36:50,033 First of all, Dad, I didn't “make fun” of anybody. 529 00:36:50,109 --> 00:36:53,510 I made one remark about Will Smith, the Fresh Prince. 530 00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,672 Sooner or later, everyone's gonna forget about that 531 00:36:55,748 --> 00:36:57,773 and I'm gonna go back to doing what I'm really good at, 532 00:36:57,850 --> 00:37:01,445 instead of sweeping streets and plowing snow and picking up garbage. 533 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:02,851 OK? 534 00:37:02,922 --> 00:37:07,586 If you're going into the city anyway, at least take the kid to see the cats. 535 00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:10,919 Oh, God... 536 00:37:10,996 --> 00:37:13,863 I'll tell you what, since there is no more Cats, 537 00:37:13,933 --> 00:37:19,371 Gertie, why don't you come over here and pick out another play that you wanna see? 538 00:37:19,438 --> 00:37:23,101 Look through here. Anything you want. Go nuts. 539 00:37:23,175 --> 00:37:26,941 - Cats is a show? - Yeah, you read the papers. 540 00:37:29,348 --> 00:37:31,179 You think you're slick, don't ya, young lady? 541 00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,548 Next time you're lookin' for a partner in crime, 542 00:37:33,619 --> 00:37:35,883 you're gonna have to aim higher than your grandfather. 543 00:37:35,955 --> 00:37:39,447 - He's soft in the head. - I heard that! 544 00:37:42,428 --> 00:37:44,692 Here. Can we go see this show? 545 00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,732 Sweeney Todd? Do you know that this has a lot of singing? 546 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,792 - It's still a play. - OK. I'm just checking. 547 00:37:50,870 --> 00:37:54,203 Your dad one time lost a bet with someone at his work, 548 00:37:54,273 --> 00:37:58,073 and he had to go see a singing play, done by people on roller skates. 549 00:37:58,143 --> 00:38:01,078 - Cool! - Your dad didn't think so. 550 00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:03,371 I handled primarily recording artists 551 00:38:03,616 --> 00:38:07,382 but when I initially trained, I trained in film PR, so I can do that too. 552 00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:13,653 I... took the last six or seven years off. I was raising my daughter in New Jersey. 553 00:38:13,726 --> 00:38:18,095 But I kept abreast, so... I'm pretty comfortable jumping back in. 554 00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:21,360 What else can I tell you guys? 555 00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:24,095 That's it. I can start, you know, right away. 556 00:38:28,107 --> 00:38:31,668 You guys all right? 557 00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:39,177 Are you the Ollie Trinke? The one who used to work at Mandell Kirschner? 558 00:38:41,053 --> 00:38:41,576 Yeah. 559 00:38:41,654 --> 00:38:45,454 - Son of a bitch! - Yes! I told you, Reynolds! Pay up! 560 00:38:45,524 --> 00:38:47,924 - I got it. - Am I missin' somethin'? 561 00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:50,826 Nah, nah, he just bet me you were the Ollie Trinke, 562 00:38:50,896 --> 00:38:52,523 the one who pulled “The Fresh Prince”. 563 00:38:52,598 --> 00:38:54,862 - They named it? - Of course! 564 00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:57,266 Are you kidding? You're a legend, man! 565 00:38:57,336 --> 00:39:00,134 You did what every flack only dreams about doing! 566 00:39:00,205 --> 00:39:02,173 - Which was what? - You went apeshit! 567 00:39:02,241 --> 00:39:04,209 You trashed your client back to the Stone Age. 568 00:39:04,276 --> 00:39:06,574 - Yeah. - We bow to you, man. 569 00:39:06,645 --> 00:39:09,045 - You're like a god around here. - Yep, exactly. 570 00:39:09,114 --> 00:39:12,481 - God enough to get a job? - No. 571 00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:16,248 - What, are you insane? - No chance, Trinke! 572 00:39:17,690 --> 00:39:20,853 - Pop, I'm home! - Yeah, like I give a shit. 573 00:39:20,926 --> 00:39:22,723 You know, thanks a lot, Pop! 574 00:39:30,569 --> 00:39:33,629 - That's what it looks like? - I guess. 575 00:39:33,706 --> 00:39:36,834 - What does yours look like? - Not like that. 576 00:39:36,909 --> 00:39:38,672 Yeah? Let me see. 577 00:39:38,744 --> 00:39:40,735 All right. 578 00:39:41,914 --> 00:39:45,247 Gertie! It's time for Bryan to go home. 579 00:39:55,394 --> 00:39:57,225 OK... 580 00:40:04,203 --> 00:40:07,172 What are your intentions? 581 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,299 What are your intentions with my daughter? 582 00:40:10,376 --> 00:40:14,335 - Do you plan on marrying her? - I don't know. 583 00:40:14,413 --> 00:40:18,179 Well, only married boys and girls... 584 00:40:18,250 --> 00:40:20,650 show each other their... 585 00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,279 their, you know... 586 00:40:23,355 --> 00:40:25,721 parts. 587 00:40:25,791 --> 00:40:26,815 OK? 588 00:40:29,094 --> 00:40:33,793 OK, Bryan, you can go now. If you come back, come back with a ring. 589 00:40:33,866 --> 00:40:35,697 Yes, Mr. Trinke. 590 00:40:35,768 --> 00:40:37,531 - Bye, Gertie. - Bye. 591 00:40:37,603 --> 00:40:39,730 Goodbye, Bryan. 592 00:40:42,307 --> 00:40:43,934 OK. 593 00:40:44,877 --> 00:40:47,437 Do you have any... 594 00:40:48,647 --> 00:40:52,242 questions about what you... 595 00:40:52,317 --> 00:40:53,807 you know... 596 00:40:55,554 --> 00:40:58,421 you know, whatever, saw? 597 00:41:02,995 --> 00:41:05,190 Do you have what Bryan has? 598 00:41:09,301 --> 00:41:13,704 Yes, I have one... too. 599 00:41:16,275 --> 00:41:18,505 Is yours as big as his? 600 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,539 Sadly, yes. 601 00:41:24,116 --> 00:41:26,778 - Can we rent a movie? - Yes. 602 00:41:29,421 --> 00:41:33,414 - So they wouldn't give you a job? - No. But apparently, Daddy's a legend. 603 00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:36,518 You don't need that job anyway. You already got a job. 604 00:41:36,595 --> 00:41:39,860 Yes, well, Daddy used to have a job 605 00:41:39,932 --> 00:41:42,230 where a nightly shower was an option, not a necessity. 606 00:41:42,301 --> 00:41:44,496 - You know what job you should do? - What's that? 607 00:41:44,570 --> 00:41:47,266 You should be a dance teacher, like Johnny in Dirty Dancing. 608 00:41:47,339 --> 00:41:51,742 I should? Should I say, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”? 609 00:41:51,810 --> 00:41:53,675 Oh, can we rent Dirty Dancing again? 610 00:41:53,745 --> 00:41:57,647 Dirty Dancing ranks one notch below Cats in my book. 611 00:41:57,716 --> 00:42:00,241 Can you pick out something else? 612 00:42:02,221 --> 00:42:04,382 Can we rent this? 613 00:42:04,456 --> 00:42:08,153 Absolutely not. Go pick out something from the children's section. 614 00:42:08,227 --> 00:42:11,993 - All those movies suck. - Watch your language. 615 00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:42,426 Nah, that's... 616 00:42:42,494 --> 00:42:45,019 No, I guess that's it. Yep, yep, that's it. 617 00:42:46,565 --> 00:42:49,693 I'll just take this and whatever the kid's getting. 618 00:42:49,768 --> 00:42:53,295 Just go ahead and put it in the bag. I'm all set. 619 00:42:53,372 --> 00:42:55,363 It's good. 620 00:42:57,709 --> 00:43:01,372 “Bi-Bi Guys, featuring Curious Jordie”? 621 00:43:03,282 --> 00:43:06,979 Interesting choice. Does the wife know you're looking into your options? 622 00:43:07,052 --> 00:43:09,179 It's... I got the... 623 00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:12,385 - I got the wrong box by accident. - Oh, right. 624 00:43:12,457 --> 00:43:15,620 Would you mind... exchanging that for me for something... 625 00:43:15,694 --> 00:43:18,390 anything you can get your hands on that's, you know... 626 00:43:18,463 --> 00:43:22,160 - So, then you want something... - ...that's non-bi. 627 00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:29,703 Can I have your membership card, please? 628 00:43:29,775 --> 00:43:31,572 Yeah, sure. 629 00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:35,079 Do you mind if I asked you a few questions about your renting practices? 630 00:43:35,147 --> 00:43:37,081 Sure. 631 00:43:37,149 --> 00:43:38,912 Really? 632 00:43:38,984 --> 00:43:43,785 Do you always rent adult titles with your daughter in tow, or is this the first time? 633 00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:44,753 Excuse me? 634 00:43:44,823 --> 00:43:48,156 When you rent porn, do you usually do it with family around, 635 00:43:48,227 --> 00:43:51,025 or is this like a, you know, special occasion? 636 00:43:52,231 --> 00:43:56,827 - Do I have to answer this? - I'm a grad student, writing a thesis paper. 637 00:43:56,902 --> 00:44:01,737 “A Bird in the Hand: The Family Man and the Pornographic Fixation”. 638 00:44:03,375 --> 00:44:05,707 OK. I would rather not take part. 639 00:44:05,777 --> 00:44:07,142 Really? 640 00:44:07,212 --> 00:44:10,409 Frank, is Bi-Bi Guys a one or a two-night rental? 641 00:44:10,482 --> 00:44:14,509 - What are you getting, Daddy? - Yeah, Daddy. Let's just take a look... 642 00:44:14,586 --> 00:44:16,554 Let's not, OK? 643 00:44:19,858 --> 00:44:23,817 Would you mind not asking me those questions when my daughter's with me? 644 00:44:23,895 --> 00:44:26,420 How about when you bring these back? 645 00:44:26,498 --> 00:44:28,432 That's... Yeah. 646 00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:33,699 In an effort to get honest feedback, leave the kid and the wife at home. 647 00:44:33,772 --> 00:44:37,037 My mom's dead. She died when I was born. 648 00:44:37,109 --> 00:44:38,940 Oh, Jesus. 649 00:44:39,645 --> 00:44:41,943 Man, I'm sorry. I didn't... 650 00:44:42,014 --> 00:44:44,448 No, you didn't. 651 00:44:47,185 --> 00:44:48,914 Let's go. 652 00:44:50,956 --> 00:44:53,151 I'm sorry. 653 00:44:53,225 --> 00:44:55,250 Do I have to? 654 00:44:55,327 --> 00:45:00,458 Major Damage didn't have to go to bed when he fought the Tiki Terrors! 655 00:45:00,532 --> 00:45:02,500 - Melvin! - And do they... 656 00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:04,398 I'll get it. 657 00:45:04,469 --> 00:45:07,802 You will not. You're not even supposed to be up this late. 658 00:45:07,873 --> 00:45:10,137 Watch your video. 659 00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:13,006 - But, Mom! - Say, “OK, Mom.” 660 00:45:13,078 --> 00:45:15,740 Say, “OK, Mom.” 661 00:45:16,615 --> 00:45:17,980 Hi. 662 00:45:18,050 --> 00:45:20,280 Hey! You're the lady from the video store. 663 00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:25,952 Let's not use that term too loosely, OK? Go back and watch your video. 664 00:45:28,393 --> 00:45:29,621 Yes? 665 00:45:29,695 --> 00:45:31,686 I just wanted to come here 666 00:45:31,763 --> 00:45:35,529 and tell you that I'm really sorry about earlier tonight. 667 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:39,366 I feel like shit about what I said and your daughter and everything. 668 00:45:39,438 --> 00:45:42,407 Well... you should. 669 00:45:42,474 --> 00:45:44,669 You know that kid was crying in the car the whole way home? 670 00:45:44,743 --> 00:45:47,473 - Oh, no... - No, I wasn't. 671 00:45:48,013 --> 00:45:51,676 - Get back inside and watch your video! - Nice! Real nice. 672 00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:55,447 See, now you have to let me interview you for my paper. 673 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,044 Is that why you're here? 674 00:45:57,122 --> 00:46:00,057 I just think you'd make one hell of an interesting case study. 675 00:46:00,125 --> 00:46:04,391 The sympathetic widower who doesn't have time to date 'cause he's raising a kid, 676 00:46:04,463 --> 00:46:07,796 so he rents porn instead. I mean, I think that's very interesting stuff. 677 00:46:07,866 --> 00:46:10,357 Jesus Christ! You've got some nerve, lady. 678 00:46:10,435 --> 00:46:13,802 And besides, I'd really like to make it up to you. 679 00:46:13,872 --> 00:46:16,864 For what I said, and for embarrassing you before that. 680 00:46:16,942 --> 00:46:19,968 You're really having a banner evening. You're batting a thousand tonight. 681 00:46:20,045 --> 00:46:23,481 You're Ollie, right? I'm Maya Harding. 682 00:46:26,418 --> 00:46:28,409 “Hi, Maya. Nice to meet you.” 683 00:46:28,487 --> 00:46:29,476 Hi. 684 00:46:29,554 --> 00:46:32,216 Come on, why don't you let me take you out one day this week? 685 00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:36,021 You do eat lunch when you're not knee-deep in adult movies, right? 686 00:46:37,028 --> 00:46:40,122 I appreciate it, but... no thanks. 687 00:46:40,198 --> 00:46:43,190 Ollie, come on, you're ruining my karma level here. 688 00:46:43,268 --> 00:46:45,862 What, buying me one lunch is gonna square you with Krishna? 689 00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,427 Hare Hare! 690 00:46:50,442 --> 00:46:52,740 Is Monday OK? Sound good? 691 00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:57,805 I mean, I was thinking nothing fancy. I was thinking maybe, like, the diner. 692 00:46:57,883 --> 00:47:01,046 - Around noon? - No! 693 00:47:02,521 --> 00:47:04,386 Noon it is! 694 00:47:04,456 --> 00:47:06,185 Oh... 695 00:47:06,258 --> 00:47:08,283 See you there. Bye! 696 00:47:11,029 --> 00:47:13,156 An incredibly strange woman. 697 00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,737 I did not hear the toilet flush. 698 00:47:30,749 --> 00:47:32,182 Thank you. 699 00:47:36,087 --> 00:47:39,352 - Can we get popcorn? - This isn't the movies, sweetheart. 700 00:47:39,424 --> 00:47:44,760 They don't sell popcorn here. This is Broadway. This is class. 701 00:47:44,830 --> 00:47:47,264 ♪ And if you're beautiful 702 00:47:47,332 --> 00:47:48,321 ♪ What then? 703 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,766 ♪ With yellow hair like wheat 704 00:47:50,836 --> 00:47:55,170 ♪ I think we shall not meet again, my little dove 705 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:58,300 ♪ My sweet Johanna 706 00:48:03,181 --> 00:48:05,877 ♪ Goodbye, Johanna 707 00:48:06,318 --> 00:48:08,912 ♪ You're gone and yet you're mine 708 00:48:09,421 --> 00:48:11,685 ♪ I'm fine, Johanna 709 00:48:11,756 --> 00:48:15,487 ♪ I'm fine 710 00:48:15,927 --> 00:48:19,761 OK. You see that floor. Now look three windows in from the right. 711 00:48:19,831 --> 00:48:23,699 See that window? That's where we used to live before we lived with Pop. 712 00:48:23,768 --> 00:48:26,362 We'd still live there if we lived in the city. 713 00:48:26,438 --> 00:48:29,373 - If Mommy was still alive? - Yep. 714 00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:31,799 - Dad... - Yes? 715 00:48:31,877 --> 00:48:34,345 Do you miss Mommy? 716 00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:37,210 I do. Every day. 717 00:48:37,949 --> 00:48:41,476 - What was she like? - I've told you a million times. 718 00:48:41,553 --> 00:48:45,080 - I know, but I forget. - No, I don't think you forget. 719 00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:47,954 I think you just like to hear me tell you. Which is OK. It's all right. 720 00:48:48,026 --> 00:48:49,687 You can ask about your mommy as much as you want. 721 00:48:49,761 --> 00:48:51,285 So tell me already. 722 00:48:51,363 --> 00:48:54,332 Well, she was pushy, like you were right there. 723 00:48:54,399 --> 00:48:58,392 She was beautiful, like you are right now. 724 00:48:58,470 --> 00:49:02,031 And she was... smart... 725 00:49:03,174 --> 00:49:06,007 and strong, like you'll grow up to be one day. 726 00:49:06,077 --> 00:49:07,374 I'm smart now. 727 00:49:07,445 --> 00:49:09,970 I know. I wasn't impugning your intelligence or anything. 728 00:49:10,048 --> 00:49:12,039 What's “impugning” mean? 729 00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:14,244 Oh, not so smart now, are you? 730 00:49:14,319 --> 00:49:16,947 - That's a big word. - Yes, you're right, it is. 731 00:49:17,022 --> 00:49:19,650 Let's see. To impugn means to criticize. 732 00:49:19,724 --> 00:49:24,058 So... Pop's always impugning you, right? 733 00:49:24,563 --> 00:49:26,053 Well, he thinks he is. 734 00:49:26,131 --> 00:49:28,497 But he's just talking to make sure he's still alive. 735 00:49:28,567 --> 00:49:31,468 Pop is a very, very old man. 736 00:49:33,371 --> 00:49:35,362 What do you think? You like the city? 737 00:49:35,540 --> 00:49:38,270 It's OK. But I like Highlands better. 738 00:49:38,343 --> 00:49:39,935 - You do? - Yeah. 739 00:49:40,011 --> 00:49:43,777 My school's there, and my friends... And we can rent movies there. 740 00:49:43,848 --> 00:49:47,443 Well, if memory serves, you can rent movies here too. 741 00:49:47,519 --> 00:49:50,613 Yeah, but not from that pretty lady at the video store. 742 00:49:50,689 --> 00:49:53,055 - Oh, you think she's pretty, do you? - Don't you? 743 00:49:53,124 --> 00:49:55,922 Isn't that why you're taking her on a date? 744 00:49:55,994 --> 00:50:00,260 It's not a date. The only girl I take on dates is you, OK? 745 00:50:00,332 --> 00:50:01,799 This is a date. We're on a date. 746 00:50:01,866 --> 00:50:03,629 - We are? - Mm-hm. 747 00:50:03,702 --> 00:50:06,967 - It doesn't feel like a date. - It doesn't? 748 00:50:07,038 --> 00:50:09,836 Well, I can fix that. 749 00:50:11,776 --> 00:50:12,606 Sir! 750 00:50:31,363 --> 00:50:35,265 How often do you rent adult movies? 751 00:50:36,434 --> 00:50:39,801 - Do I really have to do this? - You have nothing to be ashamed about. 752 00:50:39,871 --> 00:50:43,500 Interest in adult film can be healthy, as long as it's not habitual. 753 00:50:43,575 --> 00:50:48,342 - So come on, how often? - Three or four times a week. 754 00:50:49,114 --> 00:50:51,582 OK, maybe I was wrong. You should be ashamed. 755 00:50:51,650 --> 00:50:54,016 You have a real talent for making the subject feel open 756 00:50:54,085 --> 00:50:56,178 and comfortable in a safe environment. 757 00:50:56,254 --> 00:50:59,348 So you're renting it presumably to masturbate to, right? 758 00:50:59,424 --> 00:51:01,915 - Good God! - Come on, don't be such a tight-ass. 759 00:51:01,993 --> 00:51:03,085 We're all adults here. 760 00:51:03,161 --> 00:51:04,958 I know I'm an adult. How old are you, exactly? 761 00:51:05,030 --> 00:51:07,021 - I'll be 26 in March. - 26? 762 00:51:07,098 --> 00:51:10,192 You still haven't learned some things aren't polite to talk about in public? 763 00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:13,863 If it makes you feel any better, I do it, like, twice a day. 764 00:51:14,272 --> 00:51:17,799 - Good God! - What can I tell ya? I get bored easily. 765 00:51:17,876 --> 00:51:20,344 You're gonna get carpal tunnel syndrome. 766 00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:23,939 Don't get all judgmental with me. You're no slouch yourself. 767 00:51:24,015 --> 00:51:26,848 - Well, no, I... - I just have a healthy sexual appetite. 768 00:51:26,918 --> 00:51:29,182 Why don't you go out and get yourself a boyfriend? 769 00:51:29,254 --> 00:51:31,484 Why don't you just go out and get yourself a girlfriend? 770 00:51:31,556 --> 00:51:33,649 I work all day, I hang out with my kid all night. 771 00:51:33,725 --> 00:51:35,989 So you'd rather hang out with your kid than get laid? 772 00:51:36,061 --> 00:51:41,055 - Yeah. - Aw... that's kinda sweet. 773 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,828 I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke. 774 00:51:44,903 --> 00:51:47,064 OK. Can I go home now? 775 00:51:47,138 --> 00:51:50,005 No. When was the last time you had sex? 776 00:51:51,409 --> 00:51:54,310 I would rather not disclose that information. 777 00:51:54,379 --> 00:51:56,040 Oh, come on, don't clam up on me now. 778 00:51:56,114 --> 00:51:58,309 You're gonna remain anonymous in my paper. 779 00:51:58,383 --> 00:52:01,682 Ha! Anonymity doesn't concern me. Embarrassment does. 780 00:52:01,753 --> 00:52:05,154 - Why would you be embarrassed? - Because it's been a long time. 781 00:52:05,223 --> 00:52:08,556 - How long? - A long time. 782 00:52:08,626 --> 00:52:11,561 Come on, champ. Own it. Just put it out there. 783 00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:14,257 I swear I won't make any editorial cracks about it. 784 00:52:14,332 --> 00:52:16,800 Not in front of you, at least. 785 00:52:19,938 --> 00:52:23,999 - Seven years. - Seven years? 786 00:52:24,075 --> 00:52:26,805 Since my wife died, yeah. 787 00:52:27,879 --> 00:52:31,781 You know, a dumbfounded, mouth-agape look of shock 788 00:52:31,850 --> 00:52:34,751 might be construed by some as an editorial crack too. 789 00:52:35,153 --> 00:52:37,713 - I'm sorry. - It's OK. It's fine. 790 00:52:37,789 --> 00:52:41,156 No, it's not. I mean, it's not at all. 791 00:52:41,226 --> 00:52:45,390 With all due respect to your wife, you've gotta get back on the horse, man. 792 00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:48,398 - No, I don't, actually. - Yes, you do. 793 00:52:48,466 --> 00:52:51,765 - No, I don't. - Yes, you... Get up. 794 00:52:51,836 --> 00:52:54,964 - Are we done? - With this, for now. But come with me. 795 00:52:55,039 --> 00:52:56,973 Lord have mercy. 796 00:52:58,543 --> 00:53:00,602 - Where are we going? - To your place. 797 00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:03,169 We're gonna have some sex. 798 00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:10,479 - What, did you forget something? - No. Look, I appreciate the offer. 799 00:53:11,389 --> 00:53:14,984 I'm very flattered. But I can't do this. 800 00:53:15,660 --> 00:53:17,560 What's the matter? Don't you think I'm cute? 801 00:53:17,629 --> 00:53:20,097 - Of course I think you're cute. - Well, then? 802 00:53:20,165 --> 00:53:23,134 Look, I'm not just celibate because of my daughter. 803 00:53:23,201 --> 00:53:25,396 There are a lot of emotional issues in it too. 804 00:53:25,470 --> 00:53:30,100 I mean, my wife may be dead. I'm still very much in love with her. 805 00:53:30,175 --> 00:53:33,303 Hey, I respect that. I'm not telling you to fall in love with me here, 806 00:53:33,378 --> 00:53:35,403 and I'm not trying to replace your wife. 807 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:40,042 I'm just talking about two consenting adults having some casual sex. 808 00:53:40,118 --> 00:53:44,680 Probably some really short casual sex, with you being a little out of practice. 809 00:53:44,756 --> 00:53:47,691 - I can't do it, I'm sorry. - What are you, a monk? 810 00:53:47,759 --> 00:53:50,455 God! Let's look at this logically, OK? 811 00:53:50,528 --> 00:53:54,089 - You rent porn and touch yourself, right? - Would you lower your voice? 812 00:53:54,165 --> 00:53:57,328 If you're not sweating how your wife would feel about you and porn, 813 00:53:57,402 --> 00:54:01,600 then you shouldn't sweat what I'm proposing 'cause it's the same thing. 814 00:54:01,673 --> 00:54:05,666 Only somebody else is doing the touching and you're saving a $2 rental fee. 815 00:54:07,111 --> 00:54:11,605 Come on, stud. Man cannot live on porn alone. 816 00:54:29,300 --> 00:54:31,029 Oh, God... 817 00:54:32,070 --> 00:54:34,334 I'm home! 818 00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:35,497 Pop?! 819 00:54:35,573 --> 00:54:39,873 - Oh, my God... What do I do? - Get in the bathroom! 820 00:54:57,762 --> 00:55:01,357 - Pop? - No, honey, it's me. 821 00:55:01,432 --> 00:55:04,424 Daddy? Why aren't you at work? 822 00:55:05,770 --> 00:55:09,331 Because I had to come home and do... I had to... 823 00:55:09,407 --> 00:55:11,671 come home and take a shower. 824 00:55:12,677 --> 00:55:15,771 - Can we rent a movie? - Yeah, sure, sure, sure. 825 00:55:15,847 --> 00:55:19,044 As soon as I get done up here and dry off, I'll come down. 826 00:55:19,117 --> 00:55:20,914 OK. 827 00:55:23,321 --> 00:55:25,050 Oh, my God. That was so close. 828 00:55:25,123 --> 00:55:27,421 What do we do now? I'm wet. 829 00:55:34,499 --> 00:55:36,729 Sorry, Dad, I forgot again. 830 00:55:49,013 --> 00:55:50,537 Hi, honey. 831 00:55:50,615 --> 00:55:53,880 You remember Maya. From the video store. 832 00:56:06,364 --> 00:56:10,266 - What are your intentions? - Excuse me? 833 00:56:10,335 --> 00:56:12,394 What are your intentions with my father? 834 00:56:12,470 --> 00:56:14,461 Like, do you plan on marrying him? 835 00:56:14,906 --> 00:56:16,669 I don't... 836 00:56:16,741 --> 00:56:20,643 Because I was taught that only married girls show their girl parts to boys. 837 00:56:20,712 --> 00:56:25,775 - Right, Daddy? - Right. Yes. 838 00:56:26,184 --> 00:56:27,913 Mm-hm. 839 00:56:27,986 --> 00:56:31,012 Can we rent all the movies we want for free? 840 00:56:31,656 --> 00:56:32,645 What? 841 00:56:32,724 --> 00:56:35,249 Can we rent all the movies we want for free? 842 00:56:35,326 --> 00:56:38,352 Yes! Yes, yes. For God's sake, yes. 843 00:56:38,429 --> 00:56:42,729 If it means we're not, you know, that we're not in trouble anymore. 844 00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:44,199 And... Right, Maya? Yes! 845 00:56:44,268 --> 00:56:46,463 Whatever you want. It's on the house. 846 00:56:46,537 --> 00:56:49,335 Even Dirty Dancing? 847 00:56:54,812 --> 00:56:55,506 Yeah. 848 00:56:55,580 --> 00:56:58,276 And we can do Sweeney Todd for the show at school? 849 00:56:58,349 --> 00:56:59,316 What? 850 00:56:59,384 --> 00:57:01,477 We can do Sweeney Todd for the show at school? 851 00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:05,215 - No, honey, that's too grown-up. - Really? 852 00:57:06,224 --> 00:57:09,921 Oh man, what am I gonna tell Pop about you guys? 853 00:57:14,298 --> 00:57:16,994 Fine. We can do Sweeney Todd for the show at school. 854 00:57:17,068 --> 00:57:18,899 OK! 855 00:57:19,570 --> 00:57:22,471 Would you shut the hell up already? Christ, Greenie, you're always... 856 00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:23,973 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh! 857 00:57:24,042 --> 00:57:29,139 Christ Almighty. You wearin' a... wearin' a towel? 858 00:57:30,648 --> 00:57:32,639 Just as long as you didn't do it on my bed. 859 00:57:32,750 --> 00:57:37,153 Oh, Jesus Christ, it was one time in high school! You wanna let it go already? 860 00:57:37,221 --> 00:57:41,351 I banged a broad in my parents' bed once. It was nice. 861 00:57:42,093 --> 00:57:46,257 Terrific. Just so you know, we didn't “bang”. 862 00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:48,321 - What, did ya get to third base? - No! 863 00:57:48,399 --> 00:57:50,526 Not that it's any of your business, but we didn't do anything. 864 00:57:50,601 --> 00:57:53,092 We lost our heads for a second, then cooler heads prevailed 865 00:57:53,171 --> 00:57:55,731 and we stopped before we did anything we'd both regret. 866 00:57:55,807 --> 00:57:58,605 - The kid busted in on 'em. - Oh. 867 00:57:58,676 --> 00:58:01,110 Let's talk about something else for a second, like this water main. 868 00:58:01,179 --> 00:58:03,477 - How bad is it? - Definitely needs to be replaced. 869 00:58:03,548 --> 00:58:06,449 Jesus Christ. If we gotta shut down Bay Avenue for that, 870 00:58:06,517 --> 00:58:08,508 this town is gonna throw a shit fit. 871 00:58:08,586 --> 00:58:09,814 I'm sure. 872 00:58:09,887 --> 00:58:13,823 Hey, kid, you haven't had to inconvenience the taxpayers on the job yet. 873 00:58:13,891 --> 00:58:16,792 They get like animals. Remember back in '88? 874 00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:18,294 South Peak Street. 875 00:58:18,362 --> 00:58:21,763 Holy shit, I thought they were gonna crucify us upside down. 876 00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:26,236 - Like St Peter. - Who are you, the Holy Father? 877 00:58:26,304 --> 00:58:29,933 Everybody knows I meant St Peter. You don't have to explain my shit. 878 00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:31,372 I'm just saying... 879 00:58:31,442 --> 00:58:33,569 When I was down there, how many cars did you wave around? 880 00:58:33,644 --> 00:58:34,633 Three or four. 881 00:58:34,712 --> 00:58:38,307 Three or four cars for the whole half hour I was down there? 882 00:58:38,382 --> 00:58:39,610 Well, it was rush hour. 883 00:58:39,684 --> 00:58:43,017 Yeah, I don't think the legion of commuters in the Highlands of New Jersey 884 00:58:43,087 --> 00:58:48,115 are gonna object to us closing down a small portion of Bay Avenue for a few days. 885 00:58:48,192 --> 00:58:51,457 One at a time, please! One at a time! 886 00:58:53,231 --> 00:58:56,257 - We're doing the best we can. - You were saying? 887 00:58:56,334 --> 00:59:00,794 Why doesn't somebody just go up there and explain to them what's happening? 888 00:59:00,872 --> 00:59:03,432 Why don't you do it, Daddy? Wasn't that your old job? 889 00:59:03,508 --> 00:59:06,909 Making people like singers by saying nice things about 'em? 890 00:59:07,645 --> 00:59:11,342 - Yes, baby, but... - No, the kid's got a point there. 891 00:59:11,415 --> 00:59:13,474 As a guy who used to sling bullshit for a living, 892 00:59:13,551 --> 00:59:15,985 I nominate you to go up there and say something. 893 00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:17,577 - Oh, you do? - Yeah. 894 00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:20,453 - It can't hurt. - Go ahead. 895 00:59:22,627 --> 00:59:24,857 Thanks, Pop. 896 00:59:26,597 --> 00:59:28,690 Control yourselves! 897 00:59:30,034 --> 00:59:32,025 He's goin' up there. 898 00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:38,538 Folks, one second. Please. Folks. 899 00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:42,739 My name's Oliver Trinke and I'm with the borough. 900 00:59:42,813 --> 00:59:45,782 So I guess that makes me the least popular guy in the room. 901 00:59:52,356 --> 00:59:54,984 I want to assure you that... 902 00:59:55,059 --> 00:59:59,223 this Bay Avenue job will be a very minimal inconvenience. 903 00:59:59,297 --> 01:00:01,288 It'll only take three days at the most. 904 01:00:01,365 --> 01:00:03,595 Bullshit! Bullshit! 905 01:00:12,476 --> 01:00:16,173 Folks, a little decorum! A little decorum! 906 01:00:28,059 --> 01:00:29,822 Folks, one second. 907 01:00:29,894 --> 01:00:33,660 I just have one more thing that I just want to add. 908 01:00:43,374 --> 01:00:46,468 I live in this town. I see you guys headin' to work every day. 909 01:01:13,037 --> 01:01:14,561 I'm telling you, it was amazing! 910 01:01:14,639 --> 01:01:19,770 And I get up there and I weave this web of bullshit so profoundly mesmerizing, 911 01:01:19,844 --> 01:01:23,280 - I turn the entire place around! - You silver-tongued devil, you. 912 01:01:23,347 --> 01:01:27,249 Everything I was saying was just right on the money, you know? 913 01:01:27,318 --> 01:01:31,152 Maybe that's 'cause you weren't actually slinging as much bullshit as you thought. 914 01:01:31,222 --> 01:01:34,487 “Get out there and play in the dirt”? I mean, what... I made that up! 915 01:01:34,558 --> 01:01:37,254 Sounds pretty good to me. Hey, Gert. 916 01:01:37,328 --> 01:01:41,628 The sad thing is, I had a greater sense of accomplishment from the water-main thing 917 01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:43,690 than anything else I've done in the past seven years. 918 01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,760 I get it. I mean, you set out to do something and you did it. 919 01:01:46,837 --> 01:01:49,431 So you feel drunk with power now. Makes sense. 920 01:01:49,507 --> 01:01:52,874 That's just it. I was the youngest flack ever put in charge of its entire division... 921 01:01:52,943 --> 01:01:54,342 in the history of Mandell Kirschner. 922 01:01:54,412 --> 01:01:56,346 - I know. - That's an accomplishment. 923 01:01:56,414 --> 01:01:59,781 Convincing a town to approve something that's already in their best interest? 924 01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:03,342 - That's just delayed common sense. - Yeah, but that's your life now. 925 01:02:03,421 --> 01:02:06,948 I mean, being the youngest flack in the history of blah, blah, blah... 926 01:02:07,024 --> 01:02:10,425 that's not you anymore. I mean, that might never have been you. 927 01:02:10,494 --> 01:02:12,826 Oh, it was me. It was me with my own apartment, 928 01:02:12,897 --> 01:02:15,161 me richer, me with more self-respect. 929 01:02:15,232 --> 01:02:17,462 Like it or not, this is you. 930 01:02:17,535 --> 01:02:21,869 I mean, forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are. 931 01:02:22,873 --> 01:02:26,741 - I guess I'll just get this. - Gert, what are you doing? 932 01:02:26,811 --> 01:02:30,713 I distinctly remember your father telling you you could get Dirty Dancing. 933 01:02:30,781 --> 01:02:34,615 - Oh, yeah! He did! - Yeah. 934 01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,985 Thanks for that, by the way. 935 01:02:38,055 --> 01:02:41,752 Incidentally, she's been asking me when she's gonna grow boobies like yours. 936 01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:44,624 - Oh, my God! - She's seven, OK? 937 01:02:44,695 --> 01:02:48,631 If you want, I can give her the old “boobie” talk my mom gave me when I was a kid. 938 01:02:48,699 --> 01:02:51,497 Does that talk include using the word “knockers”? 939 01:02:59,510 --> 01:03:04,209 I'm glad there's no, you know, awkwardness between us. 940 01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:09,480 After the... well, the thing that happened last week with... 941 01:03:09,553 --> 01:03:12,044 Ollie, I was gonna give you a mercy jump. 942 01:03:12,690 --> 01:03:16,285 The moment passed. It's no big deal. 943 01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:19,887 - Just friends, right? - Yeah, friends. 944 01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:26,467 “Mercy jump.” Stay away from my kid. 945 01:03:34,412 --> 01:03:37,347 - No, that's too round. - Shut up. 946 01:03:37,415 --> 01:03:41,181 - Shut up! Shut up! - Just make it... 947 01:03:41,252 --> 01:03:44,744 - Would you shut the hell up?! - All right! 948 01:03:44,822 --> 01:03:47,655 There's people gettin' their throats cut in this thing. 949 01:03:47,725 --> 01:03:49,022 Yep. 950 01:03:49,093 --> 01:03:51,653 And your father said you could do this for the show? 951 01:03:51,729 --> 01:03:53,162 Yep. 952 01:03:53,864 --> 01:03:57,095 Why the hell would he OK you singing this shit? 953 01:03:57,168 --> 01:04:00,695 Because I saw him and Maya naked in the shower. 954 01:04:00,771 --> 01:04:02,534 Oh, yeah. 955 01:04:02,606 --> 01:04:05,097 That'll do it. 956 01:04:27,198 --> 01:04:31,328 Can I speak with an Arthur Brickman, please? 957 01:04:41,011 --> 01:04:43,377 - Ollie. - Arthur. 958 01:04:43,447 --> 01:04:45,438 - Hey, man. - How're you doin'? 959 01:04:45,516 --> 01:04:48,713 - Good. How are you? - Good. Good to see you. 960 01:04:48,786 --> 01:04:52,847 You know, the town voted unanimously, approved the water main, so... 961 01:04:52,923 --> 01:04:55,255 You were always great with a crowd. 962 01:04:55,326 --> 01:04:58,420 Well, except that... that once, of course. 963 01:04:58,496 --> 01:05:01,829 But that's it. It was the polar opposite of the Fresh Prince incident. 964 01:05:01,899 --> 01:05:07,735 It was like I was on the top of my game. Which is why I wanted to see ya. 965 01:05:07,805 --> 01:05:11,639 - I wanna ask you a favor. - Anything, man. What? 966 01:05:11,709 --> 01:05:15,873 Is there any way that you could get me an interview with your firm? 967 01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:22,385 You're serious? 968 01:05:22,453 --> 01:05:24,785 I thought it was weird that you wanted to eat here. 969 01:05:24,855 --> 01:05:27,881 - Oh, I know it's gonna be tough... - Tough? 970 01:05:27,958 --> 01:05:32,554 Ollie, you called a roomful of press a bunch of jerk-offs, 971 01:05:32,630 --> 01:05:35,497 and trashed a client who's one of the biggest movie stars on the planet. 972 01:05:35,566 --> 01:05:38,034 - He wasn't big then. - No, but he is now. 973 01:05:38,102 --> 01:05:40,935 You wanna know how big? When I left Mandell Kirschner, 974 01:05:41,005 --> 01:05:44,202 there were some firms that wouldn't even look at my resume because I... 975 01:05:44,275 --> 01:05:46,675 No offense, but because I worked under you. 976 01:05:48,546 --> 01:05:52,243 I've only been at Angellotti a year now... 977 01:05:52,316 --> 01:05:55,717 You know what, man? Forget I asked. Don't worry about it. Seriously. 978 01:05:55,786 --> 01:05:58,687 - It was stupid. I got carried away... - No, let me finish. 979 01:05:58,756 --> 01:06:01,281 What I was gonna say was... 980 01:06:01,358 --> 01:06:07,490 I've been waiting years to be in a position to be able to help you out, and now I am. 981 01:06:07,565 --> 01:06:10,398 It's not gonna be an easy sell, but... 982 01:06:10,467 --> 01:06:14,426 I think I can get you in a room with Angellotti himself. 983 01:06:15,239 --> 01:06:18,003 - Thank you so much. - Of course. 984 01:06:20,678 --> 01:06:22,839 You know, you're a lot more affectionate than I remember. 985 01:06:22,913 --> 01:06:26,713 It's just... I miss it so much, you know? 986 01:06:26,784 --> 01:06:29,275 It's the only thing I was ever any good at. 987 01:06:29,353 --> 01:06:32,151 Oh, this is great. I can move back here... 988 01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:35,623 I can put Gertie in a really good, expensive private school... 989 01:06:35,693 --> 01:06:38,594 I can get her a nanny, you know? 990 01:06:38,662 --> 01:06:42,860 It'll be like that whole Fresh Prince thing never even happened. 991 01:06:42,933 --> 01:06:48,132 I'll work on the old man when I get back to the office and call you tonight if it's a go. 992 01:06:48,205 --> 01:06:49,536 Oh, great. 993 01:06:49,607 --> 01:06:51,802 ♪ Excuse me 994 01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:53,604 ♪ Dear, see to the customers 995 01:06:53,677 --> 01:06:55,577 ♪ Guess what's the... 996 01:06:55,646 --> 01:06:57,580 - ♪ Quick now! - ♪ My heart's a-flutter 997 01:06:57,648 --> 01:06:59,548 ♪ When I pound the floor 998 01:06:59,617 --> 01:07:01,312 ♪ It's a signal to show that I'm ready to go 999 01:07:01,385 --> 01:07:05,048 ♪ When I pound the floor... I have to get the phone. 1000 01:07:05,122 --> 01:07:08,023 Come on, Pop! Do Dad's part. 1001 01:07:08,092 --> 01:07:09,650 - Me? - Yeah. 1002 01:07:09,727 --> 01:07:11,319 Yeah, go do that. 1003 01:07:12,363 --> 01:07:14,923 Hello? Hey, Arthur. 1004 01:07:18,535 --> 01:07:20,799 You're kidding? 1005 01:07:24,441 --> 01:07:27,308 ♪ I'll pound three times Three times... 1006 01:07:27,378 --> 01:07:31,007 Why do I have to sing your dad's part? I'm supposed to be the guy who gets clipped. 1007 01:07:31,081 --> 01:07:35,142 - You are, but you're Dad's understudy too. - What the hell is that? 1008 01:07:35,219 --> 01:07:37,449 It means if Daddy breaks a leg, then you do his part for him. 1009 01:07:37,521 --> 01:07:40,319 - So, come on, try it again. - You're doin' good. 1010 01:07:40,391 --> 01:07:42,450 ♪ I'll pound three times... 1011 01:07:42,526 --> 01:07:44,187 ♪ Three times! 1012 01:07:44,261 --> 01:07:47,025 Wait, wait, wait! I'm supposed to be the understudy now. 1013 01:07:47,097 --> 01:07:48,564 I cannot work like this. I'm sorry. 1014 01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:51,726 - This is no way to run a show. - You were good. 1015 01:07:51,802 --> 01:07:54,168 You can go back to waiting in the wings, Tommy Tune. 1016 01:07:54,238 --> 01:07:56,763 I'll be doin' my own singing henceforth. 1017 01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,035 - Who's Tommy Tune? - Tommy Tune is a man 1018 01:07:59,109 --> 01:08:02,704 that you can get a chance to see live and on Broadway 1019 01:08:02,780 --> 01:08:05,476 when we move back to New York City! 1020 01:08:07,785 --> 01:08:08,979 - What? - What? 1021 01:08:09,053 --> 01:08:09,883 - What? - What? 1022 01:08:09,953 --> 01:08:11,250 Yeah, what? 1023 01:08:11,321 --> 01:08:15,314 I was just on the phone with an old friend that I worked with at Mandell Kirschner. 1024 01:08:15,392 --> 01:08:18,953 I had lunch with him and I asked him if he'd get me an interview with his new firm. 1025 01:08:19,029 --> 01:08:22,795 Jesus, another interview, Ollie? Come on, when are you gonna learn? 1026 01:08:22,866 --> 01:08:27,394 Well, smart guy, he just called me, said he sat down with his boss, 1027 01:08:27,471 --> 01:08:29,666 sold me to his boss like I was the cure for cancer. 1028 01:08:29,740 --> 01:08:33,870 It just so happens that a little spot has opened up in their music department. 1029 01:08:33,944 --> 01:08:36,674 Boom! After six years of being a pariah, 1030 01:08:36,747 --> 01:08:38,806 I'm gonna get back in! 1031 01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:40,577 I'm talkin' about no more street sweeper, 1032 01:08:40,651 --> 01:08:43,119 no more picking up garbage, and no more water main! 1033 01:08:43,187 --> 01:08:46,122 I'm talking press lines, I'm talking about parties! 1034 01:08:46,190 --> 01:08:48,590 I'm talking about a Westside address, 1035 01:08:48,659 --> 01:08:50,752 I'm talkin' about a good school for Gertie! 1036 01:08:50,828 --> 01:08:52,489 But I already go to a good school. 1037 01:08:52,563 --> 01:08:57,330 Yes, honey, but you're gonna go to a way, way better school in New York City. 1038 01:08:57,401 --> 01:08:59,995 You're gonna be able to take the subway to school. Won't that be fun? 1039 01:09:00,070 --> 01:09:02,265 But the subway's full of junkies and mole-men. 1040 01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:07,002 - Well, they are. - Don't listen to Pop. 1041 01:09:07,077 --> 01:09:09,102 What do I tell you? He makes things up! 1042 01:09:09,179 --> 01:09:11,477 - You'll see. The subways are great. - I don't wanna see. 1043 01:09:11,548 --> 01:09:15,006 I don't wanna go to a school up in the city. I wanna go to my school. 1044 01:09:15,085 --> 01:09:17,610 Honey, it's gonna be too far of a drive for me to come back down here 1045 01:09:17,688 --> 01:09:19,519 to take you to school in New Jersey every morning. 1046 01:09:19,590 --> 01:09:22,525 So let's not move to the city. Let's stay here with Pop. 1047 01:09:22,593 --> 01:09:26,529 Sweetheart, I'm too old to be living with my father. 1048 01:09:26,597 --> 01:09:28,690 I need to get my own place. 1049 01:09:28,766 --> 01:09:31,064 And Pop... I mean, look at him, he's a mad-dog. 1050 01:09:31,135 --> 01:09:33,797 He doesn't want us around here getting in his way, crampin' his style... 1051 01:09:33,871 --> 01:09:37,898 - Do you, Pop? - That's all horseshit. 1052 01:09:37,975 --> 01:09:39,465 You know... thanks, Pop. 1053 01:09:39,543 --> 01:09:42,103 I don't wanna move to the city. I like it here. 1054 01:09:42,179 --> 01:09:44,977 Pop says you can live here as long as you want. 1055 01:09:45,048 --> 01:09:47,676 Baby, remember when I took you to see Sweeney Todd? 1056 01:09:47,751 --> 01:09:49,844 How much fun was that? We had a good time, right? 1057 01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:52,787 I mean, if we move to New York City, we can do that every night! 1058 01:09:52,856 --> 01:09:54,847 Except for the nights you're working, of course. 1059 01:09:54,925 --> 01:09:56,893 You know what? Why don't you shut up for a second, OK? 1060 01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:59,087 I'm trying to talk to my daughter. 1061 01:09:59,163 --> 01:10:01,563 You love New York City. You told me you loved the city. 1062 01:10:01,632 --> 01:10:03,122 - No, I didn't. - Oh! 1063 01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:05,191 - I said it was OK. - Jesus Christ! 1064 01:10:05,269 --> 01:10:09,399 I said I like Highlands better. Why would you want some other job anyway, Dad? 1065 01:10:09,473 --> 01:10:10,804 You get to ride the Batmobile! 1066 01:10:10,874 --> 01:10:13,809 Baby, Daddy doesn't wanna drive the Batmobile! 1067 01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:16,812 Daddy wants to eat sushi! Daddy wants to hail cabs! 1068 01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,973 Daddy wants to have a doorman! 1069 01:10:19,049 --> 01:10:21,574 Daddy wants to lord it over magazine editors! 1070 01:10:21,652 --> 01:10:26,885 Daddy loved his old job, and he's missed it every day since he's been gone. 1071 01:10:26,957 --> 01:10:30,950 Daddy wants to do that job. Daddy doesn't wanna pick up garbage forever! 1072 01:10:31,028 --> 01:10:33,428 But you told everybody at the meeting that your job's good 1073 01:10:33,497 --> 01:10:35,328 because you don't have to wear a suit. 1074 01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:39,597 Yes, but Daddy was just saying that to get them to say yes to a water main. 1075 01:10:39,670 --> 01:10:41,934 So you were just lying to everybody? 1076 01:10:43,073 --> 01:10:47,203 Look, OK, I'll tell you what. I'll go to the meeting, all right? 1077 01:10:47,277 --> 01:10:49,768 If I don't like what the man says, then I won't take the job. 1078 01:10:49,847 --> 01:10:51,178 Now you're lying to me! 1079 01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:53,773 All right, look, young lady! I'm gonna go to this job interview on Monday, 1080 01:10:53,851 --> 01:10:54,977 whether you like it or not. 1081 01:10:55,052 --> 01:10:56,144 Wait, this Monday? 1082 01:10:56,220 --> 01:10:58,882 - Yes. - Ollie, you can't go on Monday. 1083 01:10:58,956 --> 01:11:01,618 - Why? - Because that's the day of my show! 1084 01:11:04,661 --> 01:11:09,121 Oh, shit. It is, isn't it? 1085 01:11:09,199 --> 01:11:12,691 Well, it's at four, so I can, you know, make it back in time. 1086 01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:14,066 But my show's at five! 1087 01:11:14,137 --> 01:11:16,401 On what planet are you gonna get back here by five 1088 01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,202 if you've got a meeting in the city at four? 1089 01:11:18,275 --> 01:11:20,402 Just lay off me for a second! I forgot about the show. 1090 01:11:20,477 --> 01:11:22,672 How could you forget? What, are you stupid? 1091 01:11:22,746 --> 01:11:25,010 Gertie, this job is very important to Daddy. 1092 01:11:25,082 --> 01:11:27,414 What about my show? Isn't that important to you? 1093 01:11:27,484 --> 01:11:29,384 Yes, honey, that's even more important to me. 1094 01:11:29,453 --> 01:11:33,253 Then don't go to your stupid meeting about your stupid new job in the stupid city! 1095 01:11:33,323 --> 01:11:36,383 - That's enough, young lady! - I don't even want you in the show! 1096 01:11:36,460 --> 01:11:38,223 You're not even a good Sweeney Todd anyway. 1097 01:11:38,295 --> 01:11:41,526 Pop's way better. Even Uncle Greenie and Uncle Block are better than you. 1098 01:11:41,598 --> 01:11:43,429 Those men are not your uncles! 1099 01:11:43,500 --> 01:11:46,264 Oh, no, but we're good enough to build sets for her show, right? 1100 01:11:46,336 --> 01:11:48,827 Sorry, I didn't mean that. Where are you going? 1101 01:11:48,906 --> 01:11:52,433 I don't wanna be around you! I don't even want you to come to the show to watch it. 1102 01:11:52,509 --> 01:11:56,912 - Oh, come on! - I don't! I don't even like you anymore! 1103 01:11:56,980 --> 01:12:00,438 Get back here, young lady! Hey! I'm talkin' to you! 1104 01:12:00,517 --> 01:12:03,111 Hey, young lady! Get back here, young lady! 1105 01:12:03,186 --> 01:12:05,814 No! You can't tell me what to do! I don't have to do anything you say! 1106 01:12:05,889 --> 01:12:07,083 - Yes, you do! - Why? 1107 01:12:07,157 --> 01:12:08,590 Because I'm your father, that's why! 1108 01:12:08,659 --> 01:12:10,786 - So what? - Don't you yell at me, Gertrude! 1109 01:12:10,861 --> 01:12:11,885 I'll yell at you all I want! 1110 01:12:11,962 --> 01:12:14,453 Blah, blah, blah! I'm not moving to the stupid city! 1111 01:12:14,531 --> 01:12:17,591 All right, that's it! You are moving to the city and you're gonna like it, and that's the end. 1112 01:12:17,668 --> 01:12:20,102 I hate you! I wish you'd died, not Mommy! 1113 01:12:20,170 --> 01:12:21,603 I hate you right back, you little shit! 1114 01:12:21,705 --> 01:12:25,607 You and your mother took my life away and I just want it back! 1115 01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:36,676 God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean... 1116 01:12:36,753 --> 01:12:37,913 - Get off me! - I'm sorry... 1117 01:12:37,988 --> 01:12:39,979 Get off of me! 1118 01:12:47,364 --> 01:12:49,958 What the hell's the matter with you? 1119 01:13:10,253 --> 01:13:13,950 ♪ I took my love and I took it down 1120 01:13:16,660 --> 01:13:20,061 ♪ I climbed a mountain and I turned around 1121 01:13:21,598 --> 01:13:28,561 ♪ And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills 1122 01:13:28,638 --> 01:13:32,938 ♪ Till the landslide brought me down 1123 01:13:34,845 --> 01:13:39,976 ♪ Oh, mirror in the sky what is love? 1124 01:13:41,318 --> 01:13:47,723 ♪ Can the child within my heart rise above? 1125 01:13:47,791 --> 01:13:54,458 ♪ Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? 1126 01:13:54,531 --> 01:14:01,334 ♪ Can I handle the seasons of my life? 1127 01:14:02,773 --> 01:14:06,174 ♪ I don't know 1128 01:14:14,084 --> 01:14:19,852 ♪ Well, I've been afraid of changing 1129 01:14:19,923 --> 01:14:25,486 ♪ 'Cause I've built my life around you 1130 01:14:27,330 --> 01:14:30,731 ♪ But time makes you bolder 1131 01:14:31,368 --> 01:14:34,064 ♪ Children get older 1132 01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:39,200 ♪ And I'm getting older too 1133 01:14:48,285 --> 01:14:50,515 - Hey. - Hey. 1134 01:14:51,354 --> 01:14:55,120 What happened to you the other night? You just sort of took off. 1135 01:14:55,192 --> 01:14:57,717 It looked to me like you guys needed a little privacy. 1136 01:14:57,794 --> 01:15:00,092 What I really needed was a little backup. 1137 01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,996 She's a kid, Ollie. Kids don't weather change well. 1138 01:15:03,066 --> 01:15:06,399 I mean, in a few years, you won't be able to keep her out of Manhattan. 1139 01:15:06,470 --> 01:15:09,371 But for now, she just wants what she knows. 1140 01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:10,428 So do I. 1141 01:15:10,507 --> 01:15:12,702 Yeah, but is that even what you know anymore? 1142 01:15:12,776 --> 01:15:14,767 Oh, Jesus. You too? 1143 01:15:14,845 --> 01:15:18,679 You want your old life back. Big-money job, out of your old man's house... 1144 01:15:18,748 --> 01:15:21,080 It's not like it doesn't make any sense. 1145 01:15:21,952 --> 01:15:23,351 Yeah. So? 1146 01:15:23,420 --> 01:15:26,150 That's your life that you want back, not theirs. 1147 01:15:26,223 --> 01:15:30,182 I mean, this is their life. What you're sort of saying to everybody who loves you 1148 01:15:30,260 --> 01:15:32,319 is that what we have isn't good enough for you. 1149 01:15:32,395 --> 01:15:34,989 So it's just upsetting everybody, you know? 1150 01:15:35,632 --> 01:15:38,294 - Everybody? - Oh... What, me? 1151 01:15:38,635 --> 01:15:42,571 I mean, it's not like we've got some big romance going on or anything. 1152 01:15:42,639 --> 01:15:44,971 We're just friends, right? 1153 01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:49,671 Did you ever wonder if... maybe someday it might... 1154 01:15:51,014 --> 01:15:54,142 be more than that? 1155 01:15:55,252 --> 01:16:00,212 For about two seconds, before you had me hiding in the shower from your kid. 1156 01:16:00,290 --> 01:16:02,349 Look, Ollie, I like you, but... 1157 01:16:02,425 --> 01:16:05,622 I'm not gonna be all heartbroken 'cause you're leaving town. 1158 01:16:05,695 --> 01:16:06,992 I know. 1159 01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:09,361 Even if I took this job in the city, 1160 01:16:09,432 --> 01:16:15,598 I'd still come back down here and visit my old man. And you. 1161 01:16:15,672 --> 01:16:20,837 Why? I mean, you think I'm gonna stick around here for much longer? 1162 01:16:20,911 --> 01:16:23,345 - Maya... - Ollie... 1163 01:16:24,714 --> 01:16:27,547 I gotta get back to work. 1164 01:16:28,685 --> 01:16:33,122 If... if I don't... if I don't see you at the show, 1165 01:16:33,190 --> 01:16:36,682 give me a call sometime when you get all settled up in the big city. 1166 01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,125 Come on... 1167 01:16:44,534 --> 01:16:46,502 Shit. 1168 01:17:12,295 --> 01:17:14,820 ♪ Now there's tears on the pillow 1169 01:17:15,532 --> 01:17:17,500 ♪ Darling where we slept 1170 01:17:18,969 --> 01:17:22,564 ♪ And you took my heart when you left 1171 01:17:25,108 --> 01:17:31,047 ♪ Without your sweet kiss my soul is lost, my friend 1172 01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:35,517 ♪ Tell me, how do I begin again? 1173 01:17:37,387 --> 01:17:40,982 ♪ My city's in ruins 1174 01:17:43,860 --> 01:17:47,626 ♪ My city's in ruins 1175 01:17:51,201 --> 01:17:54,295 ♪ Now with these hands 1176 01:17:54,704 --> 01:17:57,434 ♪ With these hands 1177 01:17:58,074 --> 01:18:00,634 ♪ With these hands 1178 01:18:01,211 --> 01:18:03,338 ♪ With these hands 1179 01:18:03,413 --> 01:18:04,903 ♪ I pray, Lord 1180 01:18:04,981 --> 01:18:07,609 ♪ With these hands 1181 01:18:07,684 --> 01:18:10,949 - ♪ With these hands - ♪ I pray for the strength, Lord 1182 01:18:11,021 --> 01:18:15,583 ♪ With these hands With these hands 1183 01:18:15,659 --> 01:18:18,457 ♪ I pray for the faith, Lord 1184 01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,662 Hi, Daddy. 1185 01:18:22,732 --> 01:18:25,792 Hey, baby. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. 1186 01:18:25,869 --> 01:18:27,666 It's OK. 1187 01:18:27,737 --> 01:18:32,231 Listen. I'm sorry - for yelling at you the other night. 1188 01:18:33,076 --> 01:18:38,571 I was wrong. And I didn't mean any of the things that I said. 1189 01:18:38,648 --> 01:18:41,640 I know. Neither did I. 1190 01:18:43,987 --> 01:18:46,785 - Daddy? - Yeah? 1191 01:18:46,856 --> 01:18:49,518 Did Mommy like living in the city? 1192 01:18:50,660 --> 01:18:54,596 Yeah, she did. She loved it. 1193 01:18:54,998 --> 01:18:57,592 Then I guess I'll love it too. 1194 01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:01,465 Thanks, sweetheart. 1195 01:19:02,305 --> 01:19:04,068 Thanks. 1196 01:19:07,243 --> 01:19:11,202 You know, I still might make it to your show tomorrow, if the traffic's not too bad. 1197 01:19:11,281 --> 01:19:15,615 I won't be mad if you miss it. I understand. 1198 01:19:16,553 --> 01:19:20,353 OK, sweetie. Go back to sleep. I love you. 1199 01:19:22,926 --> 01:19:25,087 Good night, Daddy. 1200 01:19:26,963 --> 01:19:28,794 Good night. 1201 01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:32,392 - ♪ With these hands - ♪ I pray for my strength, Lord 1202 01:19:32,469 --> 01:19:37,771 ♪ With these hands With these hands 1203 01:19:37,841 --> 01:19:40,241 ♪ Come on, rise up 1204 01:19:42,078 --> 01:19:43,739 ♪ Come on, rise up 1205 01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:46,978 ♪ Come on, rise up 1206 01:19:47,417 --> 01:19:50,250 ♪ Come on, rise up 1207 01:19:50,720 --> 01:19:53,518 ♪ Come on, rise up 1208 01:19:53,890 --> 01:19:56,825 ♪ Come on, rise up 1209 01:19:57,160 --> 01:20:02,962 ♪ Come on, rise up 1210 01:20:04,968 --> 01:20:08,369 George Clooney's office for Tony on line one. 1211 01:20:08,438 --> 01:20:11,373 The Angellotti Company. One moment, please. 1212 01:20:11,441 --> 01:20:13,102 - Can I help you? - Yes. 1213 01:20:13,176 --> 01:20:18,011 My name's Oliver Trinke and I'm here to see Arthur Brickman and Mr. Angellotti. 1214 01:20:18,081 --> 01:20:18,911 OK. 1215 01:20:18,982 --> 01:20:21,075 Mr. Trinke is here. 1216 01:20:21,151 --> 01:20:22,743 OK, I will. 1217 01:20:22,819 --> 01:20:25,379 - They'll be about ten more minutes. - OK. 1218 01:20:27,090 --> 01:20:30,082 - You can have a seat. - Right, right... 1219 01:20:35,598 --> 01:20:36,895 Hello. 1220 01:20:36,966 --> 01:20:39,958 Oh, my God... Hi! 1221 01:20:40,036 --> 01:20:42,197 I'm here to see Brad. 1222 01:20:42,272 --> 01:20:44,365 Yes! He's expecting you, sir. 1223 01:20:44,441 --> 01:20:48,901 He apologizes, but he's stuck in traffic He's just a few blocks away. 1224 01:20:48,978 --> 01:20:52,311 Why don't you just have a seat and I'll let him know that you've arrived. 1225 01:20:52,382 --> 01:20:54,373 Thank you very much. 1226 01:21:07,330 --> 01:21:10,663 They love to keep you waiting, don't they? 1227 01:21:11,835 --> 01:21:16,465 - Excuse me? - They love to keep you waiting. 1228 01:21:16,539 --> 01:21:19,508 Right. Yeah, yeah, they do. 1229 01:21:19,576 --> 01:21:22,602 I think they think it gives them a psychological edge, you know? 1230 01:21:22,679 --> 01:21:25,239 Well, it's about to give 'em the edge of my ass, 1231 01:21:25,315 --> 01:21:28,580 'cause that's all they're gonna see when I'm walkin' out that door. 1232 01:21:28,651 --> 01:21:31,017 You know anything about these guys? 1233 01:21:31,087 --> 01:21:33,555 Only that they're the fastest-growing... 1234 01:21:33,623 --> 01:21:37,423 “...firm in the business.” Yes, I read that article too. 1235 01:21:37,494 --> 01:21:39,655 All right, well... You know as much as I do. 1236 01:21:39,729 --> 01:21:41,890 I guess that means they know what they're doing. 1237 01:21:41,965 --> 01:21:46,231 I suppose. Unless these publicists hire other publicists to get the word out for 'em. 1238 01:21:46,302 --> 01:21:49,703 Right. And then those publicists hire their own publicists 1239 01:21:49,772 --> 01:21:53,139 to help spin the good publicity they created for these publicists. 1240 01:21:53,209 --> 01:21:55,973 Of course, knowing publicists, they probably hire publicists 1241 01:21:56,045 --> 01:21:57,603 to promote the fact that they spun the publicity 1242 01:21:57,680 --> 01:22:01,446 that they hired the other publicists to spin. So... 1243 01:22:01,518 --> 01:22:04,351 - Oh man! So what do you do? - I'm a publicist. 1244 01:22:06,956 --> 01:22:10,653 I didn't realize I was sitting here talking to an Angellotti man. 1245 01:22:10,727 --> 01:22:14,322 Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not an Angellotti man. 1246 01:22:14,397 --> 01:22:16,729 At least not yet. I'm here trying to get a job. 1247 01:22:16,799 --> 01:22:21,827 These guys have been tryin' to steal me from my publicist since my last flick. 1248 01:22:21,905 --> 01:22:24,874 - Oh, the robot movie, right? - Oh, yeah, you saw it? 1249 01:22:24,941 --> 01:22:27,239 I haven't gotten around to it yet. I'm gonna... 1250 01:22:27,310 --> 01:22:29,710 Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot for the support though, man. 1251 01:22:29,779 --> 01:22:33,681 - I wanna see it... - You know what? It's not that good. 1252 01:22:33,750 --> 01:22:36,446 I have a kid. I don't get a chance to get out and see movies 1253 01:22:36,519 --> 01:22:38,680 unless they have singing crabs in 'em. 1254 01:22:38,755 --> 01:22:41,451 Singing crabs? I saw that one. That means you have a girl. 1255 01:22:41,524 --> 01:22:42,991 That's right. 1256 01:22:43,059 --> 01:22:45,118 - How old is she? - She's seven. 1257 01:22:45,194 --> 01:22:47,754 Yeah? Cool. I got a girl and two boys. 1258 01:22:47,830 --> 01:22:49,730 Three kids? 1259 01:22:49,799 --> 01:22:52,529 God. How do you find time to make all those blockbusters? 1260 01:22:52,602 --> 01:22:54,126 Shoot, if I didn't have all them damn kids, 1261 01:22:54,203 --> 01:22:56,068 I wouldn't have to make these blockbusters. 1262 01:22:56,139 --> 01:22:57,834 Right. 1263 01:22:57,907 --> 01:22:59,898 Oh, man. 1264 01:23:00,510 --> 01:23:03,536 - It's cool, though, isn't it? - Making blockbusters? 1265 01:23:03,613 --> 01:23:07,276 - You tell me. - Bein' a parent, funny man. 1266 01:23:08,585 --> 01:23:11,053 It has its moments. 1267 01:23:11,120 --> 01:23:13,486 - What's your daughter's name? - Gertrude. 1268 01:23:13,856 --> 01:23:16,416 Damn! Why'd you do that to that girl, man? 1269 01:23:17,660 --> 01:23:19,628 - Did you lose a bet? - No. 1270 01:23:19,696 --> 01:23:23,962 - No, it was my wife's name. - “Was”? OK, let me guess. 1271 01:23:24,033 --> 01:23:28,402 She took you for half after she saddled the kid with the name Gert? 1272 01:23:28,471 --> 01:23:32,066 I can't blame it on her. I saddled the kid with the name Gert. 1273 01:23:32,141 --> 01:23:35,201 She died in childbirth. So... 1274 01:23:36,946 --> 01:23:39,710 - No, no, no, it's... - I feel like an asshole, man. 1275 01:23:39,782 --> 01:23:43,183 - Don't worry about it. - No, listen, I'm really sorry about that. 1276 01:23:43,252 --> 01:23:47,712 I didn't see your movie, so we're even. Trust me. 1277 01:23:47,790 --> 01:23:51,783 This is exactly why people don't talk to each other in waiting rooms, right? 1278 01:23:51,861 --> 01:23:54,830 Probably. Although, I gotta tell ya... 1279 01:23:54,897 --> 01:23:59,197 the fact that the guy who wrote “Parents Just Don't Understand” is now a parent 1280 01:23:59,268 --> 01:24:01,668 completely makes up for it. 1281 01:24:02,505 --> 01:24:04,063 Oh, man. We don't though, do we? 1282 01:24:04,140 --> 01:24:06,335 - What's that? - Understand. 1283 01:24:06,409 --> 01:24:10,937 I mean, these kids today. From the door, man, they got it all over us. 1284 01:24:11,047 --> 01:24:14,813 My daughter has it all over me, I can tell you that. 1285 01:24:14,884 --> 01:24:16,408 Yeah, my middle one, my son? 1286 01:24:16,486 --> 01:24:19,046 Every time I walk out of the house in the morning 1287 01:24:19,122 --> 01:24:21,454 he says, “Daddy, how far you love me?” 1288 01:24:21,524 --> 01:24:24,288 I always pick somewhere close. “I love you to that table, man.” 1289 01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:28,694 “No, you don't. You love me all the way to the moon and back down to the dirt.” 1290 01:24:30,166 --> 01:24:30,928 That's great. 1291 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:34,094 It take everything I got to walk out of that house. 1292 01:24:35,171 --> 01:24:37,230 You get to spend time with them on the set though, right? 1293 01:24:37,306 --> 01:24:41,606 Oh, yeah. But if I was a smart man, I wouldn't be sittin' here right now. 1294 01:24:41,678 --> 01:24:45,341 I'd be at home playing in the dirt with my kids. 1295 01:24:47,150 --> 01:24:50,017 But we all know that I'm not famous 'cause of my brains. 1296 01:24:50,086 --> 01:24:54,955 It's 'cause I'm, like, strikingly handsome, crazy sexy. 1297 01:24:55,024 --> 01:24:59,051 And I'm, like, hung like it's ridiculous. 1298 01:25:00,396 --> 01:25:05,424 Oh, man! But I'm definitely not the sharpest spoon in the shed. 1299 01:25:07,837 --> 01:25:10,362 You know... 1300 01:25:10,440 --> 01:25:13,432 - It was really nice talking to you. - Oh, hey, you too, man. 1301 01:25:13,509 --> 01:25:16,171 - You out? - I'm out. 1302 01:25:16,245 --> 01:25:18,179 Hey, you recommend these guys? 1303 01:25:18,247 --> 01:25:22,013 Only guy I can recommend is named Arthur Brickman. 1304 01:25:22,085 --> 01:25:24,144 Other than that, I can't vouch for anybody. 1305 01:25:24,220 --> 01:25:27,314 Hold on. You Brickman? 1306 01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:33,088 No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play in the dirt with his kid. 1307 01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:49,907 - ♪ Toby! - ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me 1308 01:25:49,979 --> 01:25:52,106 - ♪ Ale there! - ♪ Right, mum! 1309 01:25:52,181 --> 01:25:53,170 ♪ Quick now! 1310 01:25:53,249 --> 01:25:55,149 ♪ God, that's good! 1311 01:25:55,218 --> 01:25:57,743 You want some rouge, or should I just pinch your cheeks? 1312 01:25:57,820 --> 01:26:01,517 Pinch my cheeks, kids' show or not, I'll put you through the wall. 1313 01:26:14,237 --> 01:26:18,173 I'd like to welcome everyone to Saint Maria Goretti's 1314 01:26:18,241 --> 01:26:20,732 Student/Family Fall Pageant. 1315 01:26:24,280 --> 01:26:28,114 This is a celebration of your children and their talents, 1316 01:26:28,184 --> 01:26:30,084 so we hope you enjoy the show. 1317 01:26:30,153 --> 01:26:35,056 Our first act is first-grader Cynthia Bodnar and her mother Jane, 1318 01:26:35,124 --> 01:26:39,891 performing the song “Memory” from the Broadway show Cats. 1319 01:26:45,935 --> 01:26:50,395 And now Tracy Colelli, from Sister Ann's kindergarten class, 1320 01:26:50,473 --> 01:26:54,739 will perform with her parents “Memory” from Cats. 1321 01:27:08,591 --> 01:27:14,791 And now, first-grader Martin Tobias and his mother will perform... 1322 01:27:14,864 --> 01:27:17,424 Oh, boy, this is a popular song. 1323 01:27:17,500 --> 01:27:19,991 ”Memory” from Cats. 1324 01:27:32,949 --> 01:27:34,974 You gotta be kidding me! 1325 01:27:51,200 --> 01:27:54,966 You couldn't make it easy on me, could you, Gert? 1326 01:28:13,689 --> 01:28:15,919 Honey, it's gonna be OK. 1327 01:28:17,059 --> 01:28:20,551 You're next, Gertie. Break a leg. 1328 01:28:58,467 --> 01:29:02,836 And now, we have something not from Cats. Thank God. 1329 01:29:02,905 --> 01:29:07,069 First-grader Gertrude Trinke and her father, Oliver... 1330 01:29:12,615 --> 01:29:15,982 - Just my grandfather. - Oh. 1331 01:29:16,052 --> 01:29:20,614 I'm sorry. First-grader Gertrude Trinke and her grandfather 1332 01:29:20,690 --> 01:29:23,887 will be performing what I can only assume is a hymn, 1333 01:29:23,960 --> 01:29:29,398 entitled “God, That's Good”, from the musical Sweeney Todd. 1334 01:29:43,479 --> 01:29:47,506 ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 1335 01:29:49,385 --> 01:29:51,250 ♪ Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well 1336 01:29:51,320 --> 01:29:54,847 ♪ At that delicate, luscious, ambrosial smell? 1337 01:29:54,924 --> 01:29:57,154 ♪ Yes, they are, I can tell 1338 01:29:57,226 --> 01:30:01,526 ♪ Well, ladies and gentlemen, that aroma enriching the breeze 1339 01:30:01,597 --> 01:30:03,622 ♪ Is like nothing compared to its succulent source 1340 01:30:03,699 --> 01:30:06,691 ♪ As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course 1341 01:30:07,737 --> 01:30:12,197 ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, you can't imagine the rapture and star 1342 01:30:12,274 --> 01:30:16,040 ♪ Just inside of this door 1343 01:30:18,381 --> 01:30:22,147 ♪ There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies 1344 01:30:22,218 --> 01:30:25,847 ♪ Savory and sweet pies, as you see 1345 01:30:26,288 --> 01:30:30,315 ♪ You who eats pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies 1346 01:30:30,393 --> 01:30:33,829 ♪ Conjure up the treat pies used to be 1347 01:30:34,196 --> 01:30:37,188 - ♪ Toby! - ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me... 1348 01:30:37,266 --> 01:30:39,131 - ♪ Ale there! - ♪ Right, mum! 1349 01:30:39,201 --> 01:30:41,965 - ♪ Quick now! - ♪ God, that's good! 1350 01:30:42,038 --> 01:30:43,835 ♪ Nice to see you, dearie 1351 01:30:43,906 --> 01:30:46,067 ♪ How have you been keeping? 1352 01:30:46,142 --> 01:30:49,634 ♪ Cor, me bones is weary Toby! One for the gentleman 1353 01:30:49,712 --> 01:30:52,909 ♪ Hear the birdies cheeping? Helps to keep it cheery 1354 01:30:53,349 --> 01:30:55,340 ♪ Toby! Throw the old woman out! 1355 01:30:55,418 --> 01:30:57,079 ♪ God, that's good! 1356 01:30:57,153 --> 01:31:00,714 ♪ What's your budget, dearie? No, we don't cut slices 1357 01:31:01,624 --> 01:31:03,615 Take this off. 1358 01:31:05,494 --> 01:31:08,588 ♪ ...me prices I'm a little leery 1359 01:31:08,664 --> 01:31:10,564 ♪ Business couldn't be better, though 1360 01:31:10,633 --> 01:31:12,260 ♪ God, that's good! 1361 01:31:12,334 --> 01:31:14,234 ♪ Knock on wood 1362 01:31:14,303 --> 01:31:16,328 ♪ Excuse me 1363 01:31:16,405 --> 01:31:18,236 ♪ Dear, see to the customers 1364 01:31:18,307 --> 01:31:20,969 ♪ Yes, what, love? 1365 01:31:29,185 --> 01:31:31,346 - ♪ Quick now! - ♪ Me heart's a-flutter 1366 01:31:31,420 --> 01:31:33,411 - ♪ When I pound the floor... - ♪ When you pound the floor 1367 01:31:33,489 --> 01:31:35,150 ♪ It's a signal to show that I'm ready to go 1368 01:31:35,224 --> 01:31:36,953 - ♪ When I pound the floor... - ♪ When you pound the floor 1369 01:31:37,026 --> 01:31:39,961 - ♪ Will you trust me? - ♪ I just want to be sure 1370 01:31:40,029 --> 01:31:44,762 ♪ When I'm certain that you're in place I'll pound three times 1371 01:31:44,967 --> 01:31:47,367 ♪ Three times 1372 01:31:47,436 --> 01:31:50,098 ♪ And then you! 1373 01:31:50,172 --> 01:31:52,766 ♪ Three times! 1374 01:31:52,842 --> 01:31:55,072 ♪ If you... 1375 01:31:55,144 --> 01:31:56,771 ♪ Exactly! 1376 01:31:56,846 --> 01:31:58,575 - ♪ More hot pies! - ♪ God! 1377 01:31:58,647 --> 01:31:59,875 - ♪ More hot! - ♪ Right! 1378 01:31:59,949 --> 01:32:02,281 ♪ More pies! More! 1379 01:32:02,351 --> 01:32:04,148 ♪ Wait! 1380 01:32:15,965 --> 01:32:18,297 ♪ God, that's good! 1381 01:32:30,746 --> 01:32:32,270 Shit. 1382 01:32:56,005 --> 01:32:59,236 - I love you, Daddy. - I love you too. 1383 01:32:59,308 --> 01:33:01,299 I love you so much. 1384 01:33:01,377 --> 01:33:03,572 - You were great. - You too. 1385 01:33:10,519 --> 01:33:12,510 You... guys... 1386 01:33:12,588 --> 01:33:15,386 were... great! 1387 01:33:17,126 --> 01:33:19,117 Oh, God! 1388 01:33:19,195 --> 01:33:21,595 Hey, Gertie! Come dance with me. 1389 01:33:21,664 --> 01:33:25,760 - Bye, Uncle Greenie. Bye, Uncle Block. - Bye, sweetheart. 1390 01:33:27,069 --> 01:33:29,435 - I'm startin' to like show business. - Yeah. 1391 01:33:29,505 --> 01:33:34,533 Well, don't get caught up in the glory. Tomorrow you're on shithouse duty. 1392 01:33:34,610 --> 01:33:39,912 You know, sometimes I just wanna... 1393 01:33:39,982 --> 01:33:43,213 I'm so tired of being your little geisha. 1394 01:33:43,285 --> 01:33:46,118 You had me worried there for a minute. 1395 01:33:46,188 --> 01:33:50,090 Yeah, who knew all those years you were nursing a case of stage fright. 1396 01:33:50,159 --> 01:33:53,959 Not about that, smart ass. About the other thing. 1397 01:33:54,530 --> 01:33:58,523 - About moving away. - Come on, Dad. 1398 01:33:58,601 --> 01:34:00,660 Don't you wanna live alone again? 1399 01:34:01,604 --> 01:34:04,835 Not as much as I don't wanna die alone. 1400 01:34:14,083 --> 01:34:16,074 We're not going anywhere, Pop. 1401 01:34:23,626 --> 01:34:25,389 You wanna go over there and cheer up your pop? 1402 01:34:25,461 --> 01:34:29,022 He's devastated about missing his big singing debut. 1403 01:34:29,098 --> 01:34:31,089 Aw! 1404 01:34:31,166 --> 01:34:33,361 Pop! 1405 01:34:36,205 --> 01:34:38,230 Hey, Princess! 1406 01:34:39,141 --> 01:34:42,269 Look at you. Mr. Big Hero of the Night. 1407 01:34:42,344 --> 01:34:46,838 Yeah, well, it might take me longer than some, but I... 1408 01:34:46,915 --> 01:34:49,247 May I? 1409 01:34:49,318 --> 01:34:51,309 OK. 1410 01:34:52,888 --> 01:34:55,914 I like to think I come around eventually. 1411 01:34:55,991 --> 01:34:59,188 Well, you showing up when you did like that? 1412 01:34:59,261 --> 01:35:03,163 That was just about the most romantic thing I've ever seen. 1413 01:35:04,733 --> 01:35:07,133 Honestly. 1414 01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:10,137 Well... stick around. 1415 01:35:12,107 --> 01:35:14,598 It may get even more romantic than that. 1416 01:35:14,677 --> 01:35:17,407 - Really? - Yeah. 1417 01:35:20,949 --> 01:35:24,112 See? How was that for romance? 1418 01:35:27,556 --> 01:35:30,184 I'll think about it. 1419 01:35:31,994 --> 01:35:34,155 Do that. 1420 01:35:34,997 --> 01:35:37,192 Ollie Trinke... 1421 01:36:01,623 --> 01:36:02,885 Hey. 1422 01:36:03,359 --> 01:36:06,260 Your kid's cuttin' a rug with that Maya. 1423 01:36:11,734 --> 01:36:15,135 The sun even shines on a dog's ass some days. 1424 01:36:16,138 --> 01:36:18,265 You getting a dog? 1425 01:36:24,413 --> 01:36:26,176 Maya? 1426 01:36:26,248 --> 01:36:29,649 - Can I dance with my dad now? - If you must. 1427 01:36:29,718 --> 01:36:33,245 Don't let him go, though, Gert. He's one of a kind. 1428 01:36:34,890 --> 01:36:36,915 I know. 1429 01:36:38,627 --> 01:36:41,221 Come here. 1430 01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:44,163 - You wanna dance? - So, no city? 1431 01:36:44,666 --> 01:36:48,432 - No. No city. - We're staying here with Pop? 1432 01:36:49,438 --> 01:36:52,202 God help us, yes, we're staying with Pop. 1433 01:36:52,441 --> 01:36:57,208 - And you're taking me to see Cats? - Oh-ho! Nice try, but no. 1434 01:36:58,647 --> 01:37:02,242 - Thank you, Daddy. - Anything for you, Gert. 1435 01:37:03,252 --> 01:37:06,221 - You know why? - Why? 1436 01:37:06,755 --> 01:37:09,952 'Cause you're the only thing I was ever really good at. 1437 01:38:22,498 --> 01:38:27,162 ♪ I got no time for the corner boys 1438 01:38:28,237 --> 01:38:33,174 ♪ Down in the street making all that noise 1439 01:38:34,643 --> 01:38:38,511 ♪ Or the girls out on the avenue 1440 01:38:40,282 --> 01:38:46,585 ♪ 'Cause tonight I wanna be with you 1441 01:38:46,655 --> 01:38:50,853 ♪ Tonight I'm gonna take that ride 1442 01:38:51,927 --> 01:38:56,694 ♪ Across the river to the Jersey side 1443 01:38:58,100 --> 01:39:01,729 ♪ Take my baby to the carnival 1444 01:39:03,705 --> 01:39:09,735 ♪ Then I'll take her on all the rides 1445 01:39:09,811 --> 01:39:15,306 ♪ 'Cause down the shore everything's all right 1446 01:39:15,384 --> 01:39:20,845 ♪ You and your baby on a Saturday night 1447 01:39:22,090 --> 01:39:25,787 ♪ You know all my dreams come true 1448 01:39:27,095 --> 01:39:32,499 ♪ When I'm walking down the street with you 1449 01:39:32,568 --> 01:39:37,267 ♪ Sing sha la la la la la la 1450 01:39:39,174 --> 01:39:43,304 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1451 01:39:44,913 --> 01:39:49,111 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1452 01:39:50,519 --> 01:39:56,822 ♪ Sha la la Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl 1453 01:39:56,892 --> 01:40:00,953 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1454 01:40:02,931 --> 01:40:06,731 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1455 01:40:08,804 --> 01:40:13,571 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1456 01:40:14,676 --> 01:40:18,612 ♪ Sha la la la la la 1457 01:40:20,115 --> 01:40:25,018 ♪ You know she thrills me with all her charms 1458 01:40:26,254 --> 01:40:31,248 ♪ When I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms 1459 01:40:32,060 --> 01:40:36,019 ♪ My little girl gives me everything 1460 01:40:37,799 --> 01:40:42,532 ♪ I know someday that she'll wear my ring 1461 01:40:43,438 --> 01:40:48,671 ♪ So don't bother me, man, I ain't got no time 1462 01:40:49,578 --> 01:40:55,016 ♪ I'm on my way to see that girl of mine 1463 01:40:55,817 --> 01:40:59,947 ♪ 'Cause nothing matters in this whole wide world 1464 01:41:01,523 --> 01:41:08,019 ♪ When you're in love with a Jersey girl 1465 01:41:08,096 --> 01:41:12,260 ♪ Sha la la la la la la 1466 01:41:13,869 --> 01:41:19,068 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la la la la la 1467 01:41:19,908 --> 01:41:25,175 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1468 01:41:25,247 --> 01:41:31,117 ♪ Sha la la Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl121345

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