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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,756
(Piano music, cheering)
2
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,798
You are probably wondering what
l am doing in a prisoner of war camp,
3
00:00:16,798 --> 00:00:18,677
dressed as a dancing girl.
4
00:00:18,677 --> 00:00:20,716
One, two, three...
5
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:23,553
My breath will not last
long enough for me to tell you
6
00:00:23,553 --> 00:00:26,074
but suffice it to say,
we are about to escape
7
00:00:26,074 --> 00:00:29,277
in the rubbish cart
driven by Lieutenant Gruber,
8
00:00:29,277 --> 00:00:32,716
who is the one who fancies me.
9
00:00:32,716 --> 00:00:34,756
(Cheering, whistling)
10
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,153
(Horn toots)
11
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,716
- lt's here, chaps.
- lt's here.
12
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,756
Thank goodness.
13
00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:53,195
Come on, Colonel, eyes and teeth.
14
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,837
l say, that was jolly good.
They're shouting for more.
15
00:01:03,837 --> 00:01:08,038
There is not time.
No encores. Get into the cart.
16
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,752
Psst. ln here. Crouch down.
17
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,034
Oh, this is show business for you.
18
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:33,156
One minute, you are a star,
19
00:01:33,156 --> 00:01:36,198
the next, you are on the rubbish heap.
20
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,950
Keep digging, von Smallhausen.
21
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,358
Herr Flick, Herr Flick,
we have broken through!
22
00:01:44,358 --> 00:01:47,591
Good, we will see where
this tunnel is emerging.
23
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,029
Please to be holding tight.
24
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,438
(Ren�) Aah!
25
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,357
Zis could be ze dormitory of the nunnery.
26
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,238
lf your theory is correct,
von Smallhausen,
27
00:02:08,238 --> 00:02:10,834
the nuns have very large feet
28
00:02:10,834 --> 00:02:13,434
and a strange taste in pictures.
29
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,869
We are in ze prisoner of war camp.
30
00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:20,669
We must return at once
to Gestapo headquarters.
31
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,719
Open ze gate.
32
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,791
You are wearing a rotten disguise.
33
00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:38,836
Go back to your hut, Englishman.
34
00:02:38,836 --> 00:02:41,480
But l am Otto Flick of the Gestapo.
35
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,393
And l am Hitler's Auntie Nellie.
36
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,390
Von Smallhausen, the tunnel.
37
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,996
(Engine chugging)
38
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,196
What are you playing at?
39
00:03:06,196 --> 00:03:09,636
l regret to say that we have
some mechanical malfunction.
40
00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:11,790
Well, fix it.
41
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:20,592
lt smells terrible in here.
l am going to have to get out.
42
00:03:20,592 --> 00:03:21,342
Oh.
43
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,038
l have traced the fault.
There was a loose wire.
44
00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:35,032
Good, start it again
and let's get cracking.
45
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,434
Ooh, Michelle, l'm still shaking from fear.
46
00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:44,829
Oh, but it was a glorious episode.
47
00:03:44,829 --> 00:03:49,232
We accomplished our mission
and got the airmen back into the camp.
48
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,310
- l say, what's going on?
- What are you chaps doing here?
49
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,118
We followed you.
50
00:03:56,118 --> 00:03:58,839
You were supposed to
stay behind at the camp.
51
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,434
Oh. Well, you should have said.
52
00:04:01,434 --> 00:04:04,637
l did say. l told you
when you were getting dressed.
53
00:04:04,637 --> 00:04:08,759
l had trouble with Fairfax's bra,
l probably wasn't listening.
54
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:14,073
- What are they doing here?
- There 'as been a cockup.
55
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,996
You are late, von Smallhausen.
56
00:04:19,996 --> 00:04:22,548
My peasant servant
forgot to wake me up.
57
00:04:22,548 --> 00:04:24,790
- Did you shoot him?
- No, no.
58
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:29,112
l spoke to him sharply and
told him to be more careful in future.
59
00:04:29,112 --> 00:04:33,432
l sometimes wonder
how you got into the Gestapo.
60
00:04:33,432 --> 00:04:35,875
l think it was the limp.
61
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,708
And the sinister gaze.
62
00:04:39,708 --> 00:04:41,995
Take this wireless and follow me.
63
00:04:41,995 --> 00:04:45,390
- lt's very light, Herr Flick.
- lt is the latest model.
64
00:04:45,390 --> 00:04:47,630
Bring also the batteries.
65
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:59,352
M Leclerc, get behind the bar.
Polish the glasses.
66
00:04:59,352 --> 00:05:01,396
- Yes, madame.
- Er, no, look.
67
00:05:01,396 --> 00:05:05,075
Take this money, go across
the square and buy more gin.
68
00:05:05,075 --> 00:05:07,435
Your mother has drunk it all.
69
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,752
How shall l disguise myself?
70
00:05:12,752 --> 00:05:15,559
You will not need a disguise.
71
00:05:15,559 --> 00:05:19,269
Just go as yourself -
a perfectly normal idiot.
72
00:05:19,269 --> 00:05:21,316
- Huh?
- Now.
73
00:05:21,316 --> 00:05:23,197
(Mutters)
74
00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:26,989
Ren�, l will take some food
down to the cellar to the Colonel.
75
00:05:26,989 --> 00:05:31,392
Edith, do not give him our food.
Tell him to get back to his office.
76
00:05:31,392 --> 00:05:36,235
How can he when he is dressed
as a girl from the Folies Berg�re?
77
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,629
Why does he not borrow
my coat and hat?
78
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,870
Because of the escape, there is a curfew.
79
00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:43,349
lf he is found as a civilian
he could be shot.
80
00:05:43,349 --> 00:05:45,829
Lieutenant Gruber will bring his uniform.
81
00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:48,559
Very well, feed him.
82
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,597
- Oh, Rrren�!
- Yvette.
83
00:05:56,597 --> 00:05:57,347
Oh!
84
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,990
Oh, at last, we are alone.
85
00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:04,514
- Hold me tight.
- Yvette.
86
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:08,275
Oh, Ren�. Oh, Ren�, it is so long...
87
00:06:08,275 --> 00:06:08,995
(Bell)
88
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,276
Sorry, where were we?
89
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,193
lt is so long since you held me like zis.
90
00:06:19,193 --> 00:06:23,796
Oh, just the feel of your strong body
through my thin blouse
91
00:06:23,796 --> 00:06:26,348
makes my knees tremble.
92
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,630
What a coincidence.
93
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,312
When are you going to tell
your wife you are leaving her?
94
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,073
Oh, er, soon, Yvette, soon.
95
00:06:38,073 --> 00:06:40,071
Well, why not this morning?
96
00:06:40,071 --> 00:06:42,913
Well, it is very complicated, Yvette.
97
00:06:42,913 --> 00:06:45,116
Remember that l have been shot dead
98
00:06:45,116 --> 00:06:48,033
and l am now posing
as my own twin brother.
99
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,190
My will left this caf� to Edith.
100
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:52,475
lf l am going to get my hands back on it,
101
00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:55,233
l am going to have to do it
by marrying her again
102
00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:58,710
and then telling her that
l am leaving her to marry you.
103
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,712
So, you see,
this morning is not a good time.
104
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,711
- Oh, tell me there is nobody else.
- There is nobody else.
105
00:07:07,711 --> 00:07:09,836
l feel better now.
106
00:07:09,836 --> 00:07:13,674
Oh, Yvette, dear, sweet, emotional child.
107
00:07:13,674 --> 00:07:15,478
Let me look at you.
108
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,630
Oh, you are crying...in one eye.
109
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,678
l think it is a little bit of grit.
110
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,671
Keep very still and l will get it out.
111
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,991
Lieutenant Gruber.
112
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,908
l thought for a moment that
you were perhaps still closed.
113
00:07:40,908 --> 00:07:43,560
Oh, for the German army,
we never close,
114
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,438
particularly an 'ero of the Russian front.
115
00:07:46,438 --> 00:07:48,954
l have here the uniform for the Colonel.
116
00:07:48,954 --> 00:07:52,271
- Good. He is in the cellar.
- l will take it down to him.
117
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,555
Oh, Lieutenant Gruber, good morning.
118
00:07:54,555 --> 00:07:57,359
The Colonel will be pleased to see you.
119
00:07:57,359 --> 00:08:01,479
Ren�, Edith, Michelle wishes to speak
with us in ze back room.
120
00:08:01,479 --> 00:08:03,312
Oh, 'eck.
121
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,076
Do not move.
122
00:08:09,076 --> 00:08:11,913
What are you doing here
in broad daylight?
123
00:08:11,913 --> 00:08:14,673
l have bad news. Gather round.
124
00:08:14,673 --> 00:08:19,436
l have little time so listen very carefully,
l shall say this only once.
125
00:08:19,436 --> 00:08:21,476
Maria did not escape with us.
126
00:08:21,476 --> 00:08:24,552
- We know that.
- What happened to her?
127
00:08:24,552 --> 00:08:26,870
We have heard that in order to escape,
128
00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:30,396
she broke into the postal room
of the prisoner of war camp.
129
00:08:30,396 --> 00:08:33,836
Once there, she disguised herself
as a Red Cross parcel.
130
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:40,312
Unfortunately,
she did not put on enough stamps.
131
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:43,198
So they have sent her back
to Switzerland.
132
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,471
lt's all perfectly logical, l suppose.
133
00:08:50,471 --> 00:08:54,678
The poor child.
Ren�, we must light a candle for her.
134
00:08:54,678 --> 00:08:56,751
Oh, of course.
135
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,996
For Maria.
136
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,191
We must advertise for a new girl.
137
00:09:09,191 --> 00:09:11,236
l have more news.
138
00:09:11,236 --> 00:09:14,676
We have heard that Hitler
is preparing to invade England.
139
00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:18,116
We must carry out sabotage
as soon as we receive the orders.
140
00:09:18,116 --> 00:09:21,078
- What about the airmen?
- They will have to stay here.
141
00:09:21,078 --> 00:09:25,153
This operation has absolute priority.
Where are they now?
142
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,158
(Both) Hello.
143
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,713
London will be coming through
on the radio, we must hurry.
144
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,879
Higher, von Smallhausen.
London is due to transmit.
145
00:09:44,879 --> 00:09:47,349
lt's very heavy, Herr Flick.
146
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,069
Stop whingeing, von Smallhausen.
147
00:09:51,069 --> 00:09:53,549
What do you intend to do with this radio
148
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:56,632
now that l have humped it
onto the roof of the chateau?
149
00:09:56,632 --> 00:10:00,235
We will jam the London broadcast
and substitute one of our own.
150
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,036
Aw, she sleeps.
151
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,276
She looks like a little angel.
152
00:10:11,276 --> 00:10:13,828
She looks more like a dead moth.
153
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,675
We must wake her very gently.
154
00:10:18,675 --> 00:10:20,671
Mama. Mama.
155
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,916
(Toots)
156
00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:27,197
- Wake up, you old bat.
- (Screams)
157
00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:30,556
Oh! Oh, no, no, no.
158
00:10:30,556 --> 00:10:34,553
You have woken me from my dream.
159
00:10:34,553 --> 00:10:36,870
You are callous and heartless, Ren�.
160
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,520
She was smiling so beautifully.
161
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,556
Was it a nice dream, Mama?
162
00:10:41,556 --> 00:10:45,030
Well, it was, er...
163
00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:47,315
vivid...
164
00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:49,994
and a bit, er, naughty.
165
00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:52,719
Edith. Ready?
166
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,360
(All) One, two, three. Uh!
167
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,398
- Aah!
- Sorry, Mama. The radio.
168
00:10:58,398 --> 00:11:00,391
(Buzzer)
169
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,833
Ooh! Oh, ze flashing knobs.
170
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,994
lt has broken my dream.
171
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,954
What are you doing
in the bed of my mother?
172
00:11:19,954 --> 00:11:22,235
When l climbed through the droonpoop
173
00:11:22,235 --> 00:11:24,914
in the prisoner of war comp,
174
00:11:24,914 --> 00:11:27,275
l slopped and bonged my hod.
175
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,195
Your mither allowed me to lay on her bod
176
00:11:33,195 --> 00:11:35,635
so l could have a bit of wrist.
177
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,879
London is coming through
on the radio. Shut up.
178
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:45,195
'Allo, 'allo. This is Nighthawk,
come in London. Over.
179
00:11:45,195 --> 00:11:49,273
''Allo, Nighthawk.
London calling. London calling.'
180
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:53,035
l have zem. l will now jam
the London transmitter
181
00:11:53,035 --> 00:11:55,588
and broadcast myself.
182
00:11:55,588 --> 00:11:59,673
(Ren�) 'This is Nighthawk,
come in London.'
183
00:11:59,673 --> 00:12:01,716
Hello, Nighthawk.
184
00:12:01,716 --> 00:12:05,759
Ve vish to send medals
to all ze members of ze Resistance.
185
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,628
Please give me their names
and addresses.
186
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:12,314
'We do not know
their names and addresses.
187
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:15,915
'But send me the medals
and l will pass them on.'
188
00:12:15,915 --> 00:12:18,753
- Where are the airmen?
- ln the back room.
189
00:12:18,753 --> 00:12:20,796
'Where is the back room?'
190
00:12:20,796 --> 00:12:22,996
Behind the front room.
191
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,470
He is asking a lot of questions.
192
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:29,950
Give it to me.
Are you sure you are in London?
193
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:33,430
Of course. l am in Piccadilly Circus.
194
00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:35,636
Von Smallhausen, the effects.
195
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:40,633
- (Toots)
- Paper! Paper!
196
00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:43,837
- 'Read all about it.'
- (Toots)
197
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,871
Violets, lovely violets.
198
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,951
Violets. Bl..aah!
199
00:12:51,951 --> 00:12:55,510
Herr Flick, l'm falling off the roof! Aah!
200
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:58,433
Flick! lt is Herr Flick,
we have been discovered.
201
00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,715
Quick, dismantle everything.
202
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,876
You fool. What are you doing?
203
00:13:06,876 --> 00:13:10,236
They do not know our position
and you've smashed the radio.
204
00:13:10,236 --> 00:13:12,470
- We cannot speak to London.
- Well...
205
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,189
Lieutenant, l am worried about Hans.
206
00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:21,238
He hasn't been seen
since he was catapulted over the wire.
207
00:13:21,238 --> 00:13:24,039
- Do you think he has deserted?
- No, not Hans.
208
00:13:24,039 --> 00:13:28,432
He has neither the courage
nor the intelligence to be a coward.
209
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:35,428
Colonel, l have searched the vicinity
of the camp and found these.
210
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,317
These are the spectacles
of Hans Geering.
211
00:13:41,317 --> 00:13:44,631
l questioned a passing peasant
who said that an RAF officer
212
00:13:44,631 --> 00:13:46,711
answering to the description of Hans
213
00:13:46,711 --> 00:13:48,756
was taken avay by the Resistance.
214
00:13:48,756 --> 00:13:51,229
Can we be sure it was the Captain?
215
00:13:51,229 --> 00:13:55,279
Yes. These are the spectacles
of little Hans.
216
00:13:55,279 --> 00:13:59,911
Through these very lenses,
those beady eyes used to stare at me.
217
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,630
Like a trusting Pekingese.
218
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,513
Ah, er, Colonel,
Lieutenant Gruber, Helga,
219
00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:10,716
sorry to keep you waiting.
220
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:13,758
Er, you are probably wondering
why l have been upstairs
221
00:14:13,758 --> 00:14:15,796
with my wife and the policeman.
222
00:14:15,796 --> 00:14:19,998
lt's France, Ren�,
one is not surprised at anything.
223
00:14:19,998 --> 00:14:22,719
Oh, no, Colonel, it was nothing like that.
224
00:14:22,719 --> 00:14:24,916
lt never is.
225
00:14:24,916 --> 00:14:29,391
Er, l-l-l-l was consulting
this officer of the law
226
00:14:29,391 --> 00:14:31,596
about my security arrangements.
227
00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:35,036
There are many buglers about.
228
00:14:35,036 --> 00:14:37,839
The girls should lick their bedroom door
229
00:14:37,839 --> 00:14:40,718
and your wife should have
a good, strong belt.
230
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,355
He means bolt.
Thank you, Officer. Be on your way.
231
00:14:46,355 --> 00:14:49,796
Come and sit down, Ren�.
l want to talk to you, urgently.
232
00:14:49,796 --> 00:14:52,235
Yes, yes, in a moment. l... Ah!
233
00:14:52,235 --> 00:14:54,959
Er, thank you, gas inspector...
234
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,396
for reading my meter.
235
00:14:58,396 --> 00:15:00,630
There is a nasty smell in the kitchen
236
00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:03,598
which l wish you to sniff
with your professional nose.
237
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:06,752
lt is either a gas leak
or the Camembert is off.
238
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:09,957
Yvette, look after the Colonel, will you?
239
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,275
Give me back my hat
and coat and get out.
240
00:15:14,275 --> 00:15:16,635
Ren�, l have the solution to our problem.
241
00:15:16,635 --> 00:15:19,473
As far as l am concerned,
she is our problem.
242
00:15:19,473 --> 00:15:22,757
Outside the caf� is the little tank
of Lieutenant Gruber.
243
00:15:22,757 --> 00:15:25,991
ln it is a radio.
Why do we not contact London on it?
244
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:28,036
You are more mad than she is.
245
00:15:28,036 --> 00:15:31,669
This is the bold idea
of a brave woman. We will do it.
246
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:35,230
Do it? The Germans are
in the caf�, ten yards away.
247
00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:37,675
We will arrange for them to be distracted.
248
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:41,355
We will all rendezvous
inside the tank in three minutes.
249
00:15:41,355 --> 00:15:43,510
But, look...
250
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,114
Edith, l will have nothing to do with this.
251
00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:48,794
You are the bravest man in all France?
252
00:15:48,794 --> 00:15:51,394
You have the courage of a chicken.
253
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,828
A very little chicken!
254
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,674
Ren�, l insist on speaking to you.
255
00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:03,149
Ah, er, allow me
to get you a drink, Colonel.
256
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,950
Where have you been?
257
00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:18,271
l passed out in the bushes.
258
00:16:18,271 --> 00:16:21,079
l was returning with the gin
259
00:16:21,079 --> 00:16:24,391
and l was 'it on the 'ead by a radio.
260
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,120
No doubt dropped
from a passing aeroplane.
261
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,670
The Germans shoot them down
all the time. Get behind the bar.
262
00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:35,228
Er, now, Colonel, what can l do for you?
263
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:38,039
Ren�, we are very worried about Hans.
264
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:40,190
He vas taken avay by the Resistance.
265
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:43,590
He is in RAF uniform,
he could be shot on sight.
266
00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:47,878
Or they could have kidnapped him
and be holding him to ransom.
267
00:16:47,878 --> 00:16:50,394
l saw him land in the rubbish heap.
268
00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:54,155
l sink, perhaps, he was taken
by the Communist Resistance.
269
00:16:54,155 --> 00:16:58,677
The Communist Resis...?
l thought they were on strike.
270
00:16:58,677 --> 00:17:02,673
lt has been settled.
Zey have agreed higher ransoms.
271
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:06,548
lf l hear anything, Colonel,
you will be the first to know.
272
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:11,679
Ren�, Michelle will be waiting for us
in the little tank.
273
00:17:11,679 --> 00:17:14,877
We cannot just walk out.
They will wonder where we have gone.
274
00:17:14,877 --> 00:17:17,599
- We need a diversion.
- Ah!
275
00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:20,672
l could do for you my world-famous
276
00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:23,877
blindfold knife-throwing performance.
277
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:28,272
- Huh?
- We need a diversion, not a massacre.
278
00:17:28,272 --> 00:17:30,476
- l have it. Come with me.
- Well...
279
00:17:30,476 --> 00:17:32,630
Lieutenant Gruber,
280
00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:35,280
there is something
Ren� would like you to do
281
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,316
but he is too shy to ask.
282
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,749
- And what is this?
- What are you saying, Edith?
283
00:17:42,749 --> 00:17:46,276
lt is such a long time since
you played for us at the piano.
284
00:17:46,276 --> 00:17:50,797
Er, Ren� is always talking about
your singing. Are you not, Ren�?
285
00:17:50,797 --> 00:17:53,075
lt is the sole topic of my conversation.
286
00:17:53,075 --> 00:17:56,709
l should be delighted.
And what is your favourite song, Ren�?
287
00:17:56,709 --> 00:18:00,554
Ah, er, oh, anything,
Lieutenant Gruber. You choose.
288
00:18:00,554 --> 00:18:03,473
l think you vill be enjoying this one.
289
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,990
Mad about ze boy
290
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:16,193
l know it's stupid
But l'm mad about ze boy
291
00:18:16,193 --> 00:18:20,592
l'm so ashamed of it but must admit
292
00:18:20,592 --> 00:18:23,114
Ze sleepless nights
l've had about ze boy...
293
00:18:23,114 --> 00:18:26,192
Ren�, Michelle will be waiting in the tank.
294
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,669
- Er...
- On ze silver screen...
295
00:18:28,669 --> 00:18:32,639
Lieutenant Gruber, er, your singing is...
296
00:18:32,639 --> 00:18:36,269
so beautiful, l must go outside, er...
297
00:18:36,269 --> 00:18:39,909
l do not like to be seen
crying in front of men.
298
00:18:39,909 --> 00:18:42,230
l understand.
299
00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:44,390
l feel a bit emotional myself.
300
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,792
Lord knows l'm not a schoolgirl
301
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,560
l shouldn't really care...
302
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,154
Keep singing.
l can hear you from outside.
303
00:18:55,154 --> 00:18:57,959
Lord knows l'm not a schoolgirl...
304
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,636
Edith, this is madness.
305
00:19:02,636 --> 00:19:05,757
- Michelle, Michelle.
- She's not here. Let's go back.
306
00:19:05,757 --> 00:19:09,674
Quick, it is all connected.
All we need is an 'igher aerial.
307
00:19:09,674 --> 00:19:12,797
Well, l do not have one.
Edith, back into the caf�.
308
00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:15,155
No, no. lt is all arranged.
309
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,595
lt is attached to this brick.
310
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,518
(Glass breaking)
311
00:19:22,518 --> 00:19:26,036
What are you doing?
That is the window of my bathroom.
312
00:19:26,036 --> 00:19:28,395
- You...
- (Shocked cries)
313
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:31,910
Oh.
314
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,269
Who has thrown a brick
into my bathroom?
315
00:19:37,269 --> 00:19:40,750
lt's all right, Mama.
lt is only the Resistance.
316
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:44,150
Oh, that is right.
Tell the whole neighbourhood.
317
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:47,471
(Man) ''Allo, 'allo.
Are you receiving me? Over.'
318
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:49,869
Quick, zey are coming through.
319
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:55,399
You take ze radio.
l must merge into the scenery.
320
00:19:55,399 --> 00:19:59,075
Merge into the scenery!
Why cannot we merge into the scenery?
321
00:19:59,075 --> 00:20:00,957
Quick, the radio.
322
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,512
- (Static)
- lt is not correctly tuned.
323
00:20:10,512 --> 00:20:12,716
l will twiddle the knob.
324
00:20:12,716 --> 00:20:14,518
(Crackling)
325
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,875
(Static and music from radio)
326
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,634
l'm feeling quite insane
327
00:20:22,634 --> 00:20:24,438
And young again
328
00:20:24,438 --> 00:20:28,399
And all because
329
00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:32,393
l'm mad about the boy
330
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,440
(Bell)
331
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,836
Good moaning.
332
00:20:40,836 --> 00:20:43,593
Where is the owner of the smell tink?
333
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,871
- l am ze owner.
- You have left your rudio on.
334
00:20:48,871 --> 00:20:53,238
lf you do not swatch it off,
you will have a flit bittery.
335
00:20:53,238 --> 00:20:55,788
Thank you. l was just leaving anyway.
336
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:58,155
Can l give anyone a lift? Colonel, Helga?
337
00:20:58,155 --> 00:21:00,515
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
338
00:21:00,515 --> 00:21:04,275
(Man) ''Allo, 'allo. l am receiving you.
339
00:21:04,275 --> 00:21:08,069
'Stand by. We have somebody
who wishes to speak with you.'
340
00:21:08,069 --> 00:21:10,230
l do not recognise this voice.
341
00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:12,675
Do you think it could be
Herr Flick again?
342
00:21:12,675 --> 00:21:15,399
Very likely. Let us get out of here.
343
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,512
Ren�, what were you doing
in Gruber's little tank?
344
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,269
Well, we, we heard the telephone ring
345
00:21:28,269 --> 00:21:30,920
so we just popped in to answer it...
346
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,709
in case it was anyone important
for you, like Hitler.
347
00:21:34,709 --> 00:21:37,997
- (Man) 'Hello.'
- lt doesn't sound like Hitler.
348
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,036
'Hello.'
349
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,837
This is Colonel von Strohm,
who's talking?
350
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,911
'Captain Hans Geering.'
351
00:21:46,911 --> 00:21:50,549
Hans! Thank heavens you are safe.
352
00:21:50,549 --> 00:21:52,596
What happened to you?
353
00:21:52,596 --> 00:21:55,797
'Erm, the Resistance took me away.'
354
00:21:55,797 --> 00:21:59,589
The Resistance.
They'll be wanting a ransom.
355
00:21:59,589 --> 00:22:02,717
Hans, can you give us
your present position?
356
00:22:02,717 --> 00:22:06,554
'l am in an office
overlooking Piccadilly Circus.'
357
00:22:06,554 --> 00:22:10,235
(English woman)
'Violets! Lovely violets!'
358
00:22:10,235 --> 00:22:11,958
What has happened?
359
00:22:11,958 --> 00:22:14,873
(Hans) 'l'm afraid the war
is over for me, Colonel.
360
00:22:14,873 --> 00:22:17,394
'The Resistance mistook me
for a British airman
361
00:22:17,394 --> 00:22:19,436
'and sent me back to England.'
362
00:22:19,436 --> 00:22:22,990
Then you must escape
and get back here as soon as possible.
363
00:22:22,990 --> 00:22:26,152
'Erm, that will not be easy, Colonel.
364
00:22:26,152 --> 00:22:28,595
'You see, l do not have my spectacles.'
365
00:22:28,595 --> 00:22:32,673
Hans, what am l going to tell
the General?
366
00:22:32,673 --> 00:22:36,548
'Well, er, tell him the food is very good
367
00:22:36,548 --> 00:22:40,519
'and the British think
they're going to win. Over and out.'
368
00:22:40,519 --> 00:22:42,716
Hans. Hans?
369
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,193
Hans!
370
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,236
Hans.
28646
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