Original subtitles

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Come on, throw it!

Independent, eh?

He doesn't need anybody to play a game. Not even an opponent.

I like that.

You speak Italian?

Why should you? Nobody speaks it here.

Just me, because I don't know another language.

Kids are kids. They always break your balls.

What were we saying? Oh yes, that I like Switzerland.

And why, you'll ask?

Because it's clean. The air, the grass...

The people mind their own business.

You say they're cold? No, they're civilized ...that's different.

Know something?

Don't worry, madam, I'll get it.

Come on, I'll race you!

Come on! Don't you want to come with me?

Your work permit?

I gave it to you with my passport.

I'm Giovanni Garofoli: innocent.

You're Italian.

Nobody's perfect, commissioner.

- Where do you work? - I'm a waiter, commissioner.

I'm only temporary. The restaurant is trying me out.

And before that?

I was a kitchen hand.

Oh, before that! I did everything. Construction, carpentry...

I slept two years in the workers' bunkhouse.

It was absolutely wonderful there.

I mean, I had a bed there. What else did I need?

We were too tired to even use any furniture.

- Why were you in the woods today? - Just relaxing on my Sunday off.

Why did you run away?

I should have reported the crime. But I didn't, partly out of tact.

After all, it's your crime. I'm only a foreigner!

If you were me...well, being a Commissioner, you'd call the police.

But you are the police, so why would you?

What are you talking about?

I don't know. Keep questioning me and you'll believe I'm the killer!

I'll confess, and the Turk will get the job!

What Turk?

The Turk? The restaurant only has one opening for a permanent waiter.

There are two of us trying out. Me and a Turk.

It means everything to me. It could change my life.

All right. You can go!

- Where to? - Go home. Didn't you say you were innocent?

Yes, but...

- You believed me? - Why, shouldn't I?

Yes, of course! But...

I'm proud to work in this country...

...where you believe a man just because he's a man!

- You'll give back the ball? - I won't worry, if you have it.

- Should I go? - Yes, please.

Bring in the murderer.

- Did he sign a confession? - Yes, voluntarily.

What's going on at table 8? They've been waiting half an hour!

They ordered lamb.

Shall I go see what happened to it?

The table 6 will have to wait.

Send your busboy Gianni!

Don't worry, I'll be right back.

Did you see Gianni? Where's that son of a bitch?

Which one? There's so many here!

I'll kill him. That'll make one less!

Why the hell are you so late?

I was in the hospital.

They were insulting Italians. I got mad and grabbed one of them...

And landed in the hospital!

I'm running up and down the stairs, doing your work...

...and you're playing the patriot!

I had three stitches!

Three stitches in three hours? An hour a stitch?

If they throw me out because of you...

...if the Turk gets the job...

...they'll have to piece you back together with a sewing machine!

Watch out, please!

What is this, an avalanche?

Who else would it be but the Turk?

Looking for the kitchen? The kitchen's over here,

We have fresh strawberries, today.

Your shirt...!

It's from the orange, signor Boegli. I'll clean it right away.

Warn the gentlemen that the plates are scorching.

Serve them elegantly, please. With style.

This is the second time I've found a fish hidden here.

They'll think we're all thieves.

I'll take it upstairs.

Careful, Miguel, careful.

Nothing. Careful, eh?

Here it is. It has just arrived.

Why do the foreigners dislike us Italians so much?

Go see how they treat southern Italians in Milan!

I'd have gotten a life sentence there.

There are too many of us here.

2 million foreigners in a country of 5 million! An invasion!

But how would they manage without us Italians to work?

They'd get Spaniards, or Greeks, or Slavs,

They're not as pretentious and they don't waste time in the hospital!

Look at the Turk. He'd work even if they cut his hands off!

Look who's coming!

At your best, eh?

Of course, monsieur, don't you worry!

Who the hell is he?

It's a pleasure to have you back, sir.

Thanks. I'll be staying for a while.

To what do we owe the honour? Vacation? Business?

Taxes, my friend, taxes!

The minute I step foot in Italy, it'll cost me 3 million!

Idiot! You sit down without a seat?

This is no picnic on the grass. It's a restaurant.

You're new here.

Giovanni Garofoli... they're trying me out.

Not bad for a try!

Anything wrong?

Everything's fine. We're in good hands.

He's special, this guy. Don't lose him.

We Italians have to help each other. We're both exiles, Garofoli.

Exactly alike, sir!

There's a chair this time, don't worry.

- What are you doing there? - Me? Nothing.

Come on, I'll buy you a coffee.

You mad at me?

If I was a little rough on you, don't be hurt.

- I could be your father. How old is he? - Thirty-six.

I could be your grandfather.

You're young and inexperienced. So you get into fights.

So what if somebody doesn't like Italians?

We often can't stand each other, so imagine how foreigners feel!

Feel lonely? Need company? I'm right here.

We can work together days, and look for girls at night.

What are you up to?

She's with you?

Signor Nino, I'll tell her I'm going with you instead.

If you've got a girl, why have coffee with me? imbecile!

On you go!

Watch him, signorina. Don't make him defend Italy's good name.

Or he'll be in the hospital every day!

Some patriot! He talks politics, meanwhile he's screwing around!

Maria, you better get up here in a hurry.

I may not be so young anymore,

But every six months at least, a man needs his wife!

It's different for a woman.

A woman is calmer.

More sentimental. She doesn't feel certain needs so strongly.

Or does she?

There she goes again...

What were you saying?

What were you saying... about the lights?

When I turn off the light at night, I feel alone, too.

This dame plays the piano and never turns off the lights.

Breaks your balls, but it's good music.

You'll really bring us to Switzerland?

He's been there 3 years now! ls he building his own train?

You think I'm telling lies?

A man who's away that long forgets his family.

- Not my Nino! - Just you wait a couple of years!

Anyway, don't you think I worry about it, too?

But it's you I'm here working for! It's you I'm sweating for!

Look, I'll show you that I love you!

I'll show you and your brother! Look!

See this? And that's just one day's tips.

In Italy, I wouldn't see this much in 40 years.

They think I'm enjoying myself this far away!

I want my daughter to marry here and my son to grow up here!

Wait till I get that job over the Turk.

I'll bring you all here to drown in Swiss money!

A man could find something in Italy, too.

A bomb! Like the one you found poaching, that blew off your hands!

What are you laughing about? Do you still remember your daddy?

Do you still remember daddy?

Run, run fast, or burn your ass!

Don't say "ass", Giacomo.

Ass! Ass! Up your ass!

When did he ever listen to anybody?

- You stay up pretty late, eh? - Sometimes.

Your lights were on all last night. The meters keep running.

- I'm afraid of the dark. - With this peace and quiet?

It's like a cemetery.

That's just it!

I don't really understand you.

You're always so alone, so mysterious.

What are you anyway? Turk? Yugoslav?

- Anarchic? Pianist? - Greek.

- And you speak Italian? - I used to teach it.

You were a professor?

And now, you're a factory worker?

In Greece, many more important people than I had to leave.

Right. Down there, you are even worse off than us.

If you ever want company, to talk, play the piano...whatever...

...just give me a call, and I'll be there.

Thanks, but I don't think that'll be necessary.

Goodnight. And down with the colonels!

Excuse me?

Down with the colonels. No good?

It's perfect!

- Goodnight, and down with them! - Who's going to listen to you here?

Signor Nino, this is it.

They chose you.

Let's hope so.

Well, Garofoli, how are you?

Still innocent, commissioner.

What did you do Sunday?

I mean, after our talk.

You committed obscene acts in public.

Can I talk to you man-to-man?

It's been months since I thought about obscene acts, even in private!

Didn't you pee?

Well, every once in a while. Why, is it forbidden?

In public, yes.

What pig would do it in public?

See if you recognize him.

Just a couple drops, commissioner.

I didn't even realize. It was the interrogation...the upset...

Before a woman!

With all the beauties of Switzerland, they have to photograph this?

All right, I'll pay a fine! I'll cut it off!

You wouldn't kick me out because of this?

Not if signor Boegli renews your permit,

Without a work permit, I can't stay in Switzerland.

How can I go back to Italy?

After three years of promises, what do I tell my family? That I peed?

Signor Boegli, you're not influenced by this nonsense, are you?

We're all like a big family here. Tell the commissioner.

He'll tell you now.

No room, eh?

Not until Florence. And after that, who gives a damn?

Play, paisan, play! Tomorrow we'll be home!

I'll never look at a watch again, to forget this country.

They're all ice here. No heart!

And they've got no sea. They can't even wash.

You don't have any sea!

Look at the sea, and you look at beauty.

What feeling it inspires!

What are you doing here?

You didn't leave?

I can't.

I can't go back to Italy like this. I'd shoot myself first.

I just need to stay two or three days.

I'll sleep on the floor, anywhere. I already know where to get work.

Listen, I'd like to help you, but I can't.

I don't live alone.

- Can't you explain to the gentleman...? - No, impossible.

Why did you choose me?

The restaurant took away my room and my work papers.

- I trust you. You're a political exile. - That's just it!

You don't have bombs here, do you?

It's an immigration policeman.

Don't hide. We'll find an excuse.

I'd throw bombs for you, but not now!

Don't worry, he's a friend.

A friend of who?

No, they've gone.

You understand now, right?

He's your son...and he doesn't have a permit to stay in Switzerland.

Not yet. If they find him, they'll make us both leave.

Why didn't you tell me? It's like that all over.

Immigrants' closets have more kids than moths!

- Where'd you put the Swiss guy? - I said I had to get a scan'.

Get it, then.

We'll talk when I get back.

My son is Grigory.

I'm Nino.

I'm Elena.

It's a pleasure.

The pleasure is mine.

That's why the lights are always on. You live at night, like bats.

What should we do? Play a game of cards?

Great idea! But let's hurry, before they make us go back in the closet.

I warn you, I'm good. You choose the game.

Solitaire? Sorry I ever said a word!

I make great airplanes, if you have some scissors and paper.

How old are you?

How old are you?

You don't speak a word of Italian?

Well, say so! Then I wouldn't go on like an idiot!

You're cute, though. If only you could talk...

You're insulted?

He can't understand, but he gets insulted!

Are you crazy? You'll get sick, you'll get drunk.

I was talking to keep you company.

I don't need you for conversation... for all you have to say!

I'll sit down in a corner.

I'll open a nice book.

I'll close it because it's in Greek.

And I'll stay here nice and quiet.

Know the song of the little bird?

I'll teach it to you. Music, you can understand.

You'll learn right away. One finger only.

It's pretty! The priest taught it to me when I was your age.

See how easy? Go on, now you try.

Mama will have a nice surprise.

That's a nice tune, too!

Good morning, sir...here's our wake-up song for you!

That's enough, see you tomorrow.

Ever have musicians wake you up?

Well, I had a radio once...

No, you need live music to wake up to.

Well, pisser! Didn't the Swiss throw you out?

But so many Italians do well here. They open businesses...

You complain about this country, eh? Until it's time to leave.

Blame Italy, that forces us to emigrate.

Sure, if you stay here, you have to make some little -

...sacrifice.

Meet a dear old friend. What's your name?

- She's your wife? - She's a whore!

Sorry, I didn't notice.

I need work, so I won't have to go back to Italy.

I'll find you all the jobs you want. But what will you get out of it?

- Money? - If at all possible...

You make money with money, not with work.

But if you don't have any...

How much do you have on you?

Show me.

Sorry, but I hide my money on me... for security.

After all, you never know. So I made a little inside pocket.

My zipper got caught in my underwear.

It's stuck there.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

I tore my shirt, too! Here it is.

Guess right and double your money. Guess wrong and you lose everything.

What do I drink in the morning? Tea or coffee?

You better give me back my money.

I knew it, no guts! Go back to work, then.

Coffee?

Pay him double.

Hurry up, I have to pick up my wife and kids.

You, disappear! Leave before I get back.

- What? Putting it back in your ass? - It's the safest place I have.

I'll have to make you all over!

After the airport, I'll invest your money in a bank.

Your family?

How much does a plane like that cost?

It costs, it costs. Don't buy one.

Having a father like you is some advantage.

When you're born rich, you can only lose your own money.

A poor man has drive...

...a hunger for life. You're lucky you don't have a lira.

Some luck. And just think how many of us there are!

Hey. champion!

- And where's mum? Didn't she come? - She couldn't.

I don't know why.

I'll get their suitcases.

Handsome kids. They look just like foreigners!

Have a nice vacation?

Want to go right home, or take a drive first?

Whatever you want, dad.

Dad, can we go right to school with Jim? Do you mind?

I don't give a good goddamn!

Maybe your wife was held up by something important.

You know, at the last minute...

Do I know her?

Was your wife ever at the Beau Rivage restaurant with you?

Oh, she's gorgeous!

Mine is too... in her own modest way, of course.

She's a shit!

Maybe that photo isn't too good...

Why did she turn against me? Why turn my kids against me?

Oh, you mean, yours...

To her, I'm an idiot who squandered the family fortune.

My fortune, not hers!

Who put 10,000 men out of work...

As if she gave a damn about workers...!

That's my wife, sir!

Sorry, I'll have it pasted back together.

I'll do it, I just have to find all the pieces... here's a leg...

....here's an arm... here's grandma....

Want to work for me?

I need a new butler. Someone I can trust.

You can start whenever you like.

Even tonight.

Here's Giacomo's head...

So many pieces! Like mincemeat!

You both must be crazy.

Look at the table. Grigory decorated it.

And your millionaire“?

My money must already be in his bank.

I phoned that I'd start tomorrow. He was sorry. He's lonely.

He'll appreciate me all the more.

Not more than we do! Right, Grigory?

Give him to me, I'll carry him to bed.

He's intelligent. I taught him all the bad words my son says...

He caught on right away.

So long, Mozart.

Nino's leaving you tomorrow. Don't you have anything to say?

Up your ass...

See how fast he learns?

You go to sleep now, too.

Tomorrow's a big day for you. You have to be in good shape.

I'm not very good with words, but...

No, it's all wrong. You, me, the situation...

We'll say goodbye tomorrow.

I know, you're lonely, just like I am.

That's not a good enough reason.

I make you laugh, eh?

Elena, you can't give up now.

Can I come in?

May l...?

Isn't anybody home?

Butler...?

Secretary...?

They're ringing!

May l...?

Did you sleep well?

Breakfast is served.

Milk, coffee, butter, marmalade, and Nino Garofoli!

Should I open the curtains?

You don't feel well?

Don't worry, sir, I'm here!

You drank too much, eh?

What can I give him? ls there any medicine here?

No, these are just sleeping pills.

More sleeping pills... "Nightie Naps"...

"Sleep-tite"...all empty.

My God! Sir, you didn't take all this stuff?

Butler...! Damn him! Did he go for a doctor?

I could call and ask the restaurant for one.

The Beau Riveau Restaurant... Bart...Barz...

Bank. ..bank. ..bank. . .there's nothing but banks in this country!

My money!

Sir, now I feel sick.

Sir, where did you deposit my money?

This may be a bad time, but while you're still here, make an effort.

You're not all that clear!

What will I tell my family? That I lent my money to a millionaire?

Will they laugh at me!

You close down factories, put 10,000 men out of work...

You get off, and I pay?

The criminal! Jail is too good for him.

They should give you the life sentence.

Even when he's dying, he's screwing someone!

Drink, and vomit. It'll do you good.

Got a chill, sir?

Where did he go?

Oh, it's the bed. how do you stop it?

Some time for a massage!

Oh, there's nothing left. Well, you can't die yet.

I'll bring you back to life if I have to kick your ass in.

This isn't elegant or scientific...

...but you'll wake up when I throw this in your face!

Good morning to you. Here's your wake-up song.

And here's a cheerful toast with milk and coffee!

So you're still alive, you old bastard!

Your horse's ass! Where've you been?

I'm glad to see your foolish fat face.

You old whore's behind!

Enough compliments! I have to talk to you.

- What happened to your leg? - Scaffolding...

They always give us the dangerous jobs.

I need to stay here a night or two, till I work things out.

I know it's dangerous, and that there's a guard. But if you -

But if you let me touch you, I'll never leave your side.

Then I'll come a little closer and jump right inside!

Go on Gigi, sing, sing.

What got into you? After all we've been through together?

You at the head, and me at the foot! You'll sleep here in my bed!

- Suppose they catch us? - They'll think we're fags!

With that mug of yours?

Wasn't I a beautiful doll?

You have kept them?

I still have our costumes. They're not rags, they're trophies!

Renzo, this is the guy I sang The Three Graces with.

He's 18 and has a wife and two kids. The idiot!

- Come on, you know the song. - Not now, Gigi, I'm bushed.

How did it go? You remember?

Who says these bunnhouses are lousy?

So what if they're freezing? It keeps the bedbugs from eating us alive!

We didn't come here out of need. We've got enough need at home!

If a guy lets his head fall in his plate, it's not because he's tired.

It's because he's too dumb to know a plate from a pillow!

Everyone envies us. Even the Swiss.

They come to see how we're getting along. And how are we getting along?

We feel wonderful! Who cares if our wives are far away?

The administration sends us the loveliest, sexiest girls in the world.

Gentlemen, here's Gigia!

And here's the one and only Rosina!

Rosa, why don't you write to me?

If you'll just listen, we'll sing you a song.

Every day, sun or rain, I cross the border by train.

I'm Gigia, the commuter's broad.

If you want me, I'm easy to board!

Whoever wants her can jump aboard.

Nice behind, in front even cuter, she's the emigrants' favorite commuter!

For just a couple francs as pay, we go up and down every day!

Ah, life is hard...forward and back!

But harder in the back!

Traveling, you'll find broadens your mind.

I'm Rosina and I know how to make do.

I can cook, make beds, sew...and screw!

A wonderful cook, but better to screw!

Man isn't made of wood,

dear little wife of mine.

So if I'm unfaithful to you...

What the hell can you do?

Just blame the hard luck that took me far from home.

To tell of our virtues, here's Mama!

I've imported each little creature. Touch them and you pay duty,

They're home-grown, not exotic. Here's your chance to be patriotic.

Swiss girls are hard to get. No foreigner's made them yet.

Leave them alone! Don't you touch!

You've broken your ass for them, that's enough!

You'll be much better off with this native stuff!

Man isn't made of wood. ..

Dear little wife of mine...

Renzo, what's wrong?

- Nothing. I just want to go home. - Well, you'll go home.

Like them? Humiliated here for years, and laughing about it?

We're just keeping our spirits up.

I'm sick of these dumb jokes.

Let him be. He's hysterical.

No, he's right! They've screwed us all our lives with a song and a guitar.

And we're still singing!

We've been had.

We have to change things, not sing about them.

I could vomit every time I hear "sun" and "sea"!

These whores won't let me sleep!

Go on, sleep. But it's time to wake up!

Look at yourself in the mirror, bitch!

- You call me that? - Who else?

Can a paisan offer you a ray of light?

A job, with no documents required?

Only 10% the first three months...

Trust a paisan...healthy, outdoor work, and no documents needed!

- Who are you? - Who are you?

I won't tell you.

Me neither.

And so we're through.

Our paisan sent me.

It's the guy with no papers!

Don't worry, none of us have papers. We're all one, big family.

You raise chickens?

No, we get them full grown. We only kill them, bless the Madonna.

Look how beautiful!

Come, I'll show you how it all works.

Every job is done with love!

Here, you put in the head and chop it off. Watch your hand...

This is the steam machine. Beautiful!

And here, the feathers come off. It's like a party!

At night, you go to sleep with a clear conscience...

...thanking God, and blessing the Madonna.

Even without any feathers, these creatures seem almost human.

- Let's go eat. Aren't you hungry? - What do you earn a day?

They're always playing.

It's a piece work. The more you kill, the more you earn.

We get up when the cock crows...

You kill him...

...and, thank God, we start another day...

...blessing the Madonna!

Our house is right there.

But that's a chicken coop.

There are no chickens there now.

It's still a chicken coop.

It's not a chicken coop if there aren't any chickens!

The owner offered us a house, but we'd have to pay rent.

This one is completely free.

Look how nice it is, thank God.

That's Mimmo.

My married nephew sleeps here.

Salvatore and his wife, here... each one has his own little apartment.

And Mimmo sleeps alone.

How do you do without women?

I manage.

And where do I sleep?

There in that mess, or with Mimmo.

In that mess.

Why not make a hole in the roof so you could stand up sometimes?

Look at the table and chairs.

Sawed in half!

You're new here, son. Little by little, you'll get used to it.

And never stand up again.

That's the Madonna of Pompei.

If I bowed down lower, it'd seem like adulation!

Well, do you like our house?

Maybe if you really searched, you'd find a place like this in Italy.

Maybe. But we couldn't make as good money.

Oh, we don't spend any of it. We have all we need.

It's all put aside for a rainy day.

Here are our women...

Daughter, mother, and niece.

You didn't saw them in half.

No, they fit just right!

Don't grow anymore or they'll throw you out.

He's already 12 years old.

A big bruiser! Do you go to school?

To a German school? No, he can't understand.

If he did, he'd kill himself.

He only knows the language of the chickens.

Hear how well he does it? Do it again for Nino!

No, once is enough!

Look at Michele! Do it like Michele!

Isn't he just like a real chicken?

I hesitated to say it...

Make a toast, Nino!

I'd like to ask one question.

All right, but on your feet!

Are you insulted?

At this point...

That's enough! Let him go on.

Just one question...

Who am I?

He doesn't know who he is?

He said Nino Garofoli,

Maybe he forgot!

You're Italian and I'm Italian.

But is that enough to make us alike? Am I like you?

If I went out with Mimmo...

...who's content to live in a place like this...

...what would people say? That we're alike?

My son, why worry about what people say?

People are envious!

Well then, I ask you, how do you see me?

Michele, how do you see me? Tell me!

The same as us...exactly the same.

Nino, come see!

Where are we going? To see what?

They're the owners' children, with their friends.

Beautiful, eh?

Beautiful!

Sir, the public baths close at 6!

Dark or light?

This guy doesn't know what the hell he wants!

I'm Italian! So what? You don't like it?

The Italians will win this game 7 to 0!

Go on, threaten me! That's what I'm here for!

I'll say whatever I like!

I understand what I'm saying!

Move forward, signora.

These young kids, they see fine from this distance.

Even without glasses...

I can't go to the hospital!

Are you all right, amigo? Did they hurt you?

What language is that? Aren't you German?

Spanish, senior!

Would you believe it...?

You're to be across the frontier by midnight.

With pleasure. All my best!

Sorry, but it just came over me. I'm Italian!

Sorry, signora. It was my hand!

It's not allowed here! Well, I'll pee later, out the window!

So long, sergeant. Thanks for everything!

Write me sometime, handsome!

Is there a small place for a guy who can't find a place anywhere?

Do they want me?

What's your name?

Then it's probable!

What would they want?

Maybe it's good news.

In German? Impossible!

Right. Remember, you haven't seen me.

Who even knows you? Who is he, anyway?

Are you all right, Nino?

Didn't you hear the loudspeaker?

Yes, but I didn't understand very well.

You look so funny.

I cut myself.

Half blond and half brunette...

That's me. Neither here nor there.

It's hard to explain all that's happened.

I know. Rudiger told me.

Remember my friend? When you hid in the closet?

Oh, the Swiss cop. You still see him?

I married him.

Then you still see him.

He's a good man.

If the Pope picks them as his guards, they must have some qualities.

He gave me this for you.

It's a residency permit.

You can stay another six months, and find any work you like.

Nino, aren't you pleased?

There's no end to it! They just kicked me out!

It was all over!

You try everything, you fight...

...but when you lose - at least you get a rest!

So, you'd rather go back to Italy?

You just want to go away?

Then what do you want?

I don't know.

Maybe it's because my head hurts...

The problem isn't Italy or Switzerland. Choose any country.

Choose whatever you like. But choose to live!

Don't give up now.

Tell that to Grigory.

He remembers me?

He talks about you a lot.

Well, tell it to him.

He's only a child.

That's just it. He can use it.

I'm tired, Elena. I don't have the heart for it.

You're very kind, Elena. Thanks for thinking of me,

Say hello to Grigory for me!

All we need is the sun! All we need is the sea!

The girl of my heart and a song to sing!

Whether you gained...

Whether you lost...

Let's forget the past...

We're from Naples, paisan!

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