Original subtitles

Offside

Have you put sun block on yet?

What?

What was that?

I already have

Sure?

Allah sees everything.

What is it?

A nice colour, isn’t it? I think i suits me.

Leave me alone!

Hi, a packet of Camel cigarettes, please.

- Hello - Hello

Hello

Dastan, put that back, please.

Why? I’ve got money.

You’re too young.

- Dad would’ve got it for me. - Exactly, am I your father?

God is the greatest!

Don’t touch me!

Watch it, or your Burka mum will have to scratch you off the floor.

Hey!

Dastan, stop it!

Why do you always do that?

What?

Interfere with other people’s business.

You really are clueless.

Then please explain if I’m too stupid.

Go on!

Ever heard of a thing called honour?

Their words hurt me too, you know?

You don’t have to come along.

Football’s not you’re thing anyway.

But you are. Ever heard of a thing called pride?

Thanks, Dastan.

Shit, man!

Come on Rümlang! Come on Rümlang!

Dastan, your dad’s looking a bit different today.

Look at those amazing jugs he’s grown!

Hey, there’s a rule – no mum jokes.

That doesn’t go for Taliban.

Totally. You always act so Swiss. I didn’t even know you were like that.

I’m not.

Hey Dastan.

You left this in the car.

- Hello - Hello

Keep it up!

Good luck.

Dude, did you get your baby bottle?

I’d start sucking on it right now.

You go and suck on your Gatorade bottle so you grow up big and strong.

Anything else?

Give it back, dude!

How embarrassing.

Totally. She would have loved it. I’ve got a great technique.

There’s no point. Arab girls have hairy chests.

What?

Our girls even grow beards.

That explains the fashion.

Hey Dastan, Allah, ooohhh!

Dude, stop it. Your mum…

She’s got nothing to say anyway.

At least she’s covered up so I don’t have to put up with the sight of her.

Dastan! What’s that for?

It’s all your fault!

Hey!

Seriously, you’re so useless even your mum’s embarrassed for you.

I saw her. She was in tears.

You’ve got no honour, slagging off your mum like that.

That’s enough young man.

He can’t even score a goal!

We lost to weak contenders.

he messes up every single pass!

Man, it would have been so easy.

Where’s my stuff?

You total jerk!

You’re to blame for everyone’s bad mood and all you do is take a nice shower?

Are you crazy?

What do you want?

booze for tonight would be nice.

Want your stuff back?

Then go and get some.

Something strong.

yeah, man.

Here, Take my bike.

What? You got no balls?

Dastan!

We don’t need a wannabe Zidane on the pitch, understand?

It’s not on. You need to get a grip of yourself.

It’s only a game.

Look boys, it’s Zidane with the booze!

What do you call this?

Where’s the vodka?

Did you piss your pants without your burka mum?

Is that all you’ve got? It’s starting to bore me.

What’s that?

Go yourself. Grow some balls!

Me?

Hey, thanks for the bike.

And now what? Running home to cry to mama?

What are you staring at?

Are you going home to your mum, are you?

Yes.

Then piss off, my friend!

Cry me a river!