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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:05,805 - Thank you. 2 00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:07,674 - Whoa. Who are these from? 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,075 - "Congrats on 'Night Nurse.' 4 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,144 "Think of me for your future projects. 5 00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:13,313 Your fan, Debra Messing." 6 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:14,848 - Oh, Debra. 7 00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:16,716 - God, ever since Mom put in the "Deadline" article, 8 00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:19,219 everybody thinks "Night Nurse" is still happening. 9 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:20,587 - Which is great. 10 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,155 You get all the credit for being in a movie 11 00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:23,857 without having to actually film it. 12 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,725 Like Angelina Jolie and all those "Maleficent" movies. 13 00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:27,827 - Yeah, there's no way those were real, right? 14 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,696 - No. They are 100% just posters. 15 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,365 - But I wanted to actually film it. 16 00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,934 - I know. It's still cool. 17 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,404 I mean, you have been dying to be known as an actor, 18 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,105 and now you technically are. 19 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,573 - Yeah, I mean, I have been 20 00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:43,777 getting a lot of messages from gay celebrities. 21 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,445 - Wait. Who? 22 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,049 - Ben Platt and Adam Rippon both DM'ed me and said congrats 23 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,617 And Antoni sent me a bunch of hearts. 24 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,885 - How many? 25 00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,620 - I dunno, like, enough to make 'em small? 26 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,956 - Oh, my God. Cary, you're in. 27 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,024 - What? 28 00:00:58,091 --> 00:00:59,893 - You are a Respected Gay now. 29 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:02,195 That is the most powerful thing a person can be. 30 00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:05,098 Famous gays want to know you. They want to fuck you. 31 00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,133 Take your pick, baby. I'd choose Antoni. 32 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,904 I mean, imagine having sex with him. 33 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:13,039 Huh. I can't get my brain to do it. 34 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,876 - Holy shit. I just got a DM from Dean Brennon. 35 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,044 - Wait, the actor? - Yeah. 36 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,612 And he just asked me out. 37 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:22,482 - Ugh, Dean Brennon is gay? That sucks. 38 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,117 - Yeah. I mean, he doesn't really 39 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:25,418 comment on his sexuality, 40 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:26,820 but he is playing George Michael 41 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,421 in that new George Michael biopic "George." 42 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:31,224 - He is so hot. You have to message him back. 43 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:34,227 - Yeah, I'm gonna do it. 44 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,896 I'm gonna fuck Dean Brennon. - [squeals softly] 45 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,165 - Or if I'm being honest, Dean Brennon is gonna fuck me. 46 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,433 - Yeah, he's probably gonna fuck you. 47 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,401 - Mm-hmm. 48 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:42,969 ♪ ♪ 49 00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:45,338 - Chase. Are you so excited for today? 50 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,974 - Yeah. It's nice to be back in the recording studio again. 51 00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:49,342 It's been so long. 52 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,111 - And it doesn't get bigger than "Bambi." 53 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,613 - Wait, what? - Yeah. You're playing Thumper 54 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,248 in Disney's new live-action "Bambi." 55 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,183 It's gonna be exactly the same as the original, 56 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,751 only cost more and look worse. 57 00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:00,353 - But you said I was collaborating 58 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,422 on a project with Drake and Cardi B. 59 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,457 - You are. Drake's playing Bambi, 60 00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:05,925 and Cardi B's playing Bambi's mom. 61 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,660 - But we're not actors. - Yeah. 62 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,196 They don't let actors do voice acting for movies anymore. 63 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,764 It's only singers and athletes. 64 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:14,467 So it's you, Drake, Cardi B, Shawn Mendes is Mr. Mole, 65 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,769 and Damian Davis from the "Golden State Warriors" 66 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,371 is Flower. 67 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,173 All right, let's get in there. Let's make some vocal magic. 68 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,674 - Damian? 69 00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:24,444 My friend Lance is a huge fan and wanted me to say hi, 70 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,012 and that you almost have the same birthday. 71 00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:28,715 His is January 11th and yours is February 8th. 72 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,017 - Oh, wow, twins. - [squeals softly] 73 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,220 - Okay, let's go for one. 74 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,357 "Bambi" scene 12. Thumper and Flower, take one. 75 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,559 - What's wrong with your legs, Flower? 76 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,994 Why can't they jump? 77 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:43,163 - Cause I'm not a rabbit like you, 78 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,898 I'm just a little skunk. 79 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,032 - Great. Let's go again. 80 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,700 - Oh, hey, Mom got an offer 81 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,969 to host a prime time game show for NBC. 82 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,538 They're doing "Tic Tac Toe" now. 83 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,805 What do you think? 84 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:55,308 - Oh, another thing? And at night? 85 00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,477 - Yeah. I was gonna pass cause it seems like a cash grab. 86 00:02:57,544 --> 00:03:00,346 - Yeah, I think that's cool. That's probably cool. 87 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,081 Okay, I still have some time with her. 88 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,084 - No, silly Bambi. Those are called birds. 89 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,354 Say it with me. B-b-b-birds. 90 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:09,589 - This sucks. 91 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,924 - Yeah, sorry, man. I'm trying my best. 92 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,259 [phone chimes] - Oh. It's official. 93 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,328 Our own Cary Donald Dubek 94 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,697 is now on a date with Dean Brennon. 95 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,365 - What? He is? - Yeah. 96 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:22,101 He's going to literally, like, fuck a celebrity. 97 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,537 God, I wanna fuck a celebrity. 98 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,873 - What's wrong with your legs, Flower? 99 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,108 - Okay, Damian. 100 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,947 - Sorry, I--I just gotta say, you are so hot. 101 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,782 [laughter] 102 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,016 - You're pretty hot yourself. 103 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:40,286 - Oh, my God. [chuckles] 104 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,454 - Is everything okay? 105 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:42,789 - Yeah, I just wanna make sure 106 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,457 people can see it's me in these. 107 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,925 [shutters clicking] 108 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,294 - Sorry 'bout these guys. They're obsessed with me. 109 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:51,297 - Dean, you two together? You having sex? 110 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:54,867 - Guys, I don't comment on my sexuality. 111 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:57,470 - [chuckles] That's so modern. 112 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,372 But can I tell them we're on a date? 113 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:00,773 Just 'cause otherwise 114 00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,275 it might look like you're babysitting me. 115 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,644 - [chuckles] Sorry. 116 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,613 I like to keep my personal life personal. 117 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:10,383 - Totally. Totally. Yeah. Do you wanna move inside or? 118 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:15,154 - No. That's okay. Man, your hair is amazing. 119 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,623 What kind of product do you use? 120 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,157 - Oh, my God. Now you are touching me. 121 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,160 - Whoa, looks like somebody has a comment. 122 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,097 Cary, let's talk about that big boner you have under the table. 123 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:26,165 - All right, well, I--I also like 124 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,902 to keep my personal life personal, guys. So. 125 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,004 - [laughing] - No, you get it. 126 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,505 - Yeah. 127 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,074 - So I mean, your friend loves me. But what about you? 128 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,576 - Well, I didn't before, 129 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,511 but now that you're sitting in front of me, 130 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,848 there's just so much to work with. 131 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,182 [chuckles] 132 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,184 - Listen, I'm just here for the night, 133 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,186 but would you wanna come over for a drink? 134 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:51,524 I have an apartment here. - Oh. Yeah. That'd be great. 135 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,459 - Hey, Damian. We're ready for you. 136 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:54,761 - All right. They're ready for me. 137 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:57,830 - Okay. Good luck, Flower. 138 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,668 [phone line trilling] 139 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,002 - Hey, B. 140 00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:04,604 - Lance, Damian Davis just invited me 141 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,172 to his place for a drink. 142 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:08,107 - What? My Damian Davis? 143 00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:10,710 Hey, Leah's here right now. Mind if I put her on speaker? 144 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,145 - Oh, absolutely. 145 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,647 This is actually the perfect introduction to me. 146 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,382 Hi, Leah. Nice to meet you. 147 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,185 - Hey, Brooke. You too. Wait, which one's Damian Davis? 148 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:20,653 - The one with the beard you like. 149 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,122 - Oh, my God, Brooke, he is so hot. 150 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,324 And seems kind of funny? 151 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,858 - Leah, he's hilarious. 152 00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:28,061 - Okay, you have to keep us posted. 153 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,697 - Yeah, tell us everything. - Um, dur. 154 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,732 [squeals softly] 155 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,300 - All right, let's go again from the top. 156 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,803 - Hey, how much longer is this gonna take? 157 00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:40,139 - Um, as long as it takes, bud. 158 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,742 Guess who's going to Damian Davis' for a drink later? 159 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,177 Looks like Cary isn't 160 00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:47,413 the only one who's gonna fuck a celebrity. 161 00:05:48,247 --> 00:05:50,850 - Yeah, I gotta say, I love that shirt on you. 162 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,086 - Oh, thanks. - Do you mind if I-- 163 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,721 - Touch my neck in front of a thousand cameras? 164 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,989 Absolutely not. 165 00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:58,057 - Oh. 166 00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:00,426 Mossimo. - [chuckles] 167 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,762 So I don't wanna leave this for even one second, 168 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,831 but I--I have to go to the bathroom. 169 00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:07,233 - Don't worry, I won't go anywhere. 170 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,835 - All right. 171 00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,843 [sighs] 172 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:21,247 - Cary Dubek, I have important information you need to know. 173 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:23,883 - What? 174 00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:27,053 - Dean Brennon's not who he says. 175 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,422 You're being gay-baited. 176 00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,624 - Excuse me? Who are you? 177 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,226 - [soft, squeaky fart] 178 00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:36,629 I cannot tell you who I am. - Why not? 179 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,564 - Because I farted and I'm embarrassed. 180 00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:40,099 It's Shuli. - Shuli? 181 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:41,634 - Shh! Keep your voice down. 182 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:42,935 I shouldn't even be here. 183 00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:44,637 It's breaking The Publicist Code. 184 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:47,106 But when I saw the paparazzi pics online, 185 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:48,641 I felt like I needed to tell you. 186 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:52,078 Dean Brennon is straight. Like, super straight. 187 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,913 - What? No, he's not. 188 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,248 He's playing George 189 00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,049 in the new George Michael biopic, "George." 190 00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:59,285 - Cary, you should know better than anyone 191 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,320 that only straight people play gay roles. 192 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,056 But to get more press while he promotes his movie, 193 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,225 he's trying to make it seem like maybe, 194 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:10,329 just maybe he's gay so people will talk about him more. 195 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,798 It's PR 101. 196 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,400 - No, no, he literally won't stop touching me. 197 00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,236 - On the lips? Or is he just touching your hair, 198 00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,338 checking your shirt tag for the cameras? 199 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,507 Look, you're the new, hot gay on the scene. 200 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:25,278 He wants to ride your gay without ever riding your ass. 201 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:29,148 Want proof? Go to this address. 202 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,250 Now, I gotta go. 203 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:35,188 To the bathroom! Get the hell out of here. 204 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,322 - Okay. 205 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:40,593 - Hey. 206 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:44,096 Would you maybe wanna go back to my place now? 207 00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:47,099 - Oh, really? Wow, yeah. 208 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,868 Yes, that is exactly what I wanna do. 209 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,837 Great, let's go. 210 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,039 God, Shuli is such an idiot. 211 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,007 [camera shutters clicking] 212 00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:57,343 - Mm, this wine is so good. What is it? 213 00:07:57,443 --> 00:07:58,711 - Okay, but you can't make fun of me 214 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,313 'cause I'm kind of a wine freak. 215 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,349 It's a 2014 Domaine Laroche Chablis. 216 00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:05,351 - Ooh, it's fancy. 217 00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:10,456 Um, where's your bathroom? I just need to go real quick. 218 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,124 Okay, it's going really well. 219 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:15,495 We're having a Donny Lachey Chablis. 220 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,296 - Ooh, I gotta order me some of that. 221 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:20,566 - Does he look hot drinking it? - Oh, my God, girl, so hot. 222 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,901 Okay, I gotta get back out there. 223 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,903 I'll call if anything else happens. 224 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:24,904 [door shuts] 225 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,639 Hey. - Hey. 226 00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:30,376 - Sorry about that. Where were we? 227 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:37,316 - I think we were maybe at here. 228 00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:44,257 - I have to go to the bathroom again. 229 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,759 [elevator bell rings] 230 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:50,730 - So here we are. What do you think? 231 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,098 - It's great. 232 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,268 Would you maybe wanna show me the bedroom? 233 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,869 - Of course. 234 00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,771 Or wait, I forgot about my dog, Boomer. 235 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,606 We should probably take him out first. 236 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,174 Hey! [claps] 237 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:03,209 - What's that? 238 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,510 - Dean Brennon! 239 00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,612 Walking his dog with Night Nurse! 240 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,014 Are you two more than friends? 241 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,850 - Guys, I don't comment on my sexuality. 242 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,052 Jeez, how do they always find me? 243 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,620 Let's just go back to your place. 244 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,957 - Okay, yes. Please. 245 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,293 So here we are. 246 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,461 And right back here is the bedroom. 247 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,763 - Cool. 248 00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:25,464 But wait, Cary, your trash is full. 249 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,633 Let me take it out for you first. 250 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,570 - Sorry, take out my-- - Dean Brennon! 251 00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,805 Taking out Night Nurse's trash! 252 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,373 You two official? You moving in together? 253 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,808 - You found me again? 254 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:39,412 Guys, I wanna keep my personal life personal. 255 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,747 [camera shutters clicking] 256 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,052 Jesus, I'm so sorry about that. - It's okay. 257 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,486 It's just getting late, 258 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,822 and I'd really like to head to the bedroom. 259 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,824 - Yes, of course. 260 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:52,925 I'll let you get some sleep. 261 00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:54,327 - No, no, no, that's not-- 262 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,828 - But I'll be back at dawn with two coffees. 263 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,597 Maybe we can walk up and down Fifth Avenue 264 00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:58,965 and drink them together? 265 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:01,801 Night. [door shuts] 266 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,842 - Sorry. Small bladder. 267 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,612 Okay, things are escalating quickly. 268 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:13,613 He just took off my shirt. 269 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:14,814 both: Oh, my God! 270 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,084 - Okay, now I took off his shirt. 271 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,185 - Ooh! 272 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,920 - Is everything all right? 273 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,689 - Okay, now we're both naked. I think we're gonna have sex? 274 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:24,824 - What? 275 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:26,993 Okay, we're having sex! 276 00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:30,262 [screaming] 277 00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:31,497 [bottle shatters] - [giggles] 278 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,702 [siren wailing] 279 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,772 [phone buzzing] 280 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,273 - Oh, hey, Dean. 281 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,042 - Cary. Where are you? I have our coffees. 282 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:46,145 - I had to go into work early. - Oh, bummer. 283 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,813 Well, I was wondering if you wanted 284 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,548 to come to the Equality Gala with me tonight? 285 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,883 - Oh, um-- 286 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,518 - I won't take no for an answer. 287 00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,053 Come over later, we can get ready together. 288 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,287 [line clicks] 289 00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:58,724 [baby crying] 290 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,861 [thunder rumbling] 291 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,464 [suspenseful music] 292 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:11,671 ♪ ♪ 293 00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,339 [knocking] 294 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,644 - What do you want? 295 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:22,481 - My name's Cary. Um, I need your help. 296 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:25,084 - This is a private residence. Go away. 297 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:29,221 - It's about Dean Brennon! [thunder rumbles] 298 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,824 [locks rattling] 299 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,168 Sorry, I--I heard you might have proof 300 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,502 Dean Brennon is straight. 301 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:46,906 - I'm the proof. We used to date. 302 00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:50,109 - Oh, my God. You're Jordana Brewster? 303 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,745 - Please keep your voice down. - Oh, right. Sorry. Yeah. 304 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,213 I just-- 305 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,182 I just watched every "Fast and the Furious" movie 306 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:57,450 with my old roommate. 307 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,118 - Aw, that's so cool. Thank you. 308 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,619 But, you know, it's so weird. 309 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,621 Everyone sees me as this, like, badass action chick 310 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,757 when really I'm just this total nerd 311 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:06,125 who majored in theater studies. 312 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,760 - Oh, cool. 313 00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,528 - Yeah, I went to this college in New Haven. 314 00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:10,696 Doesn't really matter which college, 315 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,531 but it was in New Haven. 316 00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:15,201 - I'm sorry, Ms. Brewster, can we focus? 317 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,136 I'm being gay-baited. 318 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,472 - [clicks tongue] Yeah. 319 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:23,642 So Dean and I dated for two weeks in 2010. 320 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,112 We met shooting a "Scooby-Doo-Flintstones" 321 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:29,482 live action crossover film called "Scooby-Doo 4: 322 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,150 Yabba Dabba Dooby." [thunder rumbles] 323 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,552 - But when I Google Dean Brennon Jordana Brewster, 324 00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:34,754 nothing comes up. 325 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,422 - That's because he had me scrubbed. 326 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:41,160 Getty Images, his Wiki, there's no trace of me anywhere. 327 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:45,264 Luckily, I managed to keep this. 328 00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,665 ♪ ♪ 329 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,633 - What? 330 00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:52,838 ♪ ♪ 331 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,840 This is us... 332 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,675 at the "2010 Teen Choice Awards." 333 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,779 - Oh, my God. He is straight. 334 00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,014 He's wearing cargo shorts. 335 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,983 Actually, you're both wearing cargo shorts. 336 00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:05,351 - Those were really good times. 337 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,153 But even then, Dean wanted more. 338 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:09,355 When we got home from the ceremony, 339 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,357 he punched a hole in the wall. 340 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,925 - Because he lost? 341 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,126 - Because he won. 342 00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,861 Dean didn't want a Teen Choice Award. 343 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,863 He wanted an Oscar. 344 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:22,301 And he said that he would stop at nothing to get it. 345 00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:25,371 - I--I have to go. Dean will be expecting me. 346 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,973 We're going to the Equality Gala. 347 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,675 - Good luck. - Thank you. 348 00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:32,611 - And please know I can do highbrow too. 349 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,180 I did "Godot" in college. 350 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,614 You know, I'll just tell you which college it was. 351 00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:36,882 It was actually-- - Yale. Yes, I know. 352 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,951 Jordana, I--I have to go. 353 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,654 - [laughs] I had a great time last night. 354 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,322 - Oh, yeah? So did I. 355 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:46,058 This is embarrassing, but my lawyers make me do this. 356 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,460 Would you be okay signing an NDA? 357 00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,229 - Oh, of course. 358 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,730 - I mean, obviously, I trust you. 359 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,233 - It's no problem at all. Your privacy is key. 360 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,735 - Thanks. It's just my fans always wanna know every detail 361 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,237 of my personal life, you know? 362 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:02,074 - Totally. Yeah. Discretion is my middle name. 363 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,843 Okay, you guys can't tell anyone 364 00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,911 that I fucked Damian Davis because I just signed an NDA. 365 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,746 - Whoa. Okay, you got it, B. 366 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,682 - Yeah, Brooke, I promise I won't tell anyone either. 367 00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:11,183 - Perfect. Well, then I'm not worried, 368 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,854 'cause you two are the only people I told. 369 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,825 [thunder rumbling] 370 00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:22,494 - Dean? 371 00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:25,564 [oldies music playing softly] 372 00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:29,401 ♪ ♪ 373 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:33,272 Dean? - Hey! Just in the shower. 374 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,774 Come on in. I'll be out in a sec. 375 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:42,047 - Ow. Daddy, no! Ow! It hurts! 376 00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:43,883 - So how was your day? 377 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,951 ♪ ♪ 378 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:49,221 - I met someone who knows you. 379 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:52,458 Jordana Brewster? 380 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:56,762 - Oh, yeah, from "Fast and the Furious"? 381 00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,430 What's she like? I never met her. 382 00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:00,466 - Oh, really? 383 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,469 'Cause she told me she was your date 384 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,772 to the "2010 Teen Choice Awards." 385 00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,974 - Huh. [chuckles] That's weird. 386 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,576 - Cut the crap, Dean. 387 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,646 I know what's going on. You've been gay-baiting me. 388 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,614 - Okay, now you're being crazy. 389 00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:18,550 - I'm not being crazy. 390 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:20,319 You're crazy. You used me, Dean. 391 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,154 You made me think this was real. 392 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,756 I thought we were gonna have sex. 393 00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:24,990 Like, I thought I was gonna get to see your dick 394 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,926 and your balls and your butt. 395 00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,427 But I haven't gotten to see anything. 396 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,662 I haven't even seen one cheek. 397 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,330 - Cary, you're being hysterical. 398 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,465 And frankly, you're not pretty when you're like this. 399 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:37,136 - Was I ever pretty to you? 400 00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:38,804 - I don't comment on my sexuality. 401 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,073 - Oh, my God. Tell the truth. 402 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:44,076 You're never gonna ride my ass hard, are you? 403 00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:48,981 - No. [thunder rumbles] 404 00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:51,083 - I have to get out of here. - Don't go. Please. 405 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,619 I can explain. 406 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,354 - [clears throat] 407 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,523 - Hey Brooke, have a nice night? 408 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,824 - Nothing special. 409 00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:00,025 - Hey, Brooke, how was your evening? 410 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,460 - Quiet. Read a book. 411 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,795 - Brooke, what'd you do last night? 412 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:03,862 - Shut up, bitch! 413 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:04,797 - Oh. 414 00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:08,000 [indistinct chatter] 415 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,202 - Jesus! 416 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,205 Mom, what are you doing? 417 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:14,306 Mom! 418 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,308 - Oh, hi, honey. Sorry about that. 419 00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,177 I trained myself to sleep standing up 420 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:19,878 so I can take 20-second catnaps 421 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,347 while people don't need me without messing up my hair. 422 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,048 That's what Ryan Seacrest does, so. 423 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,717 - Okay. Well, I'll just let you get back to it. 424 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,552 - Oh, what did you guys decide about "Tic Tac Toe?" 425 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,287 - Oh, I think we're just gonna pass. 426 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:29,855 - Okay, yeah, I don't have to do that. 427 00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:31,724 We should probably let someone else host that. 428 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,359 But then again, if you think it's a good idea, Brookie, 429 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,626 I'm more than happy to do it. [phone buzzing] 430 00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:37,629 - Okay. Uh, sorry, Mom. 431 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,067 - Hello, Brooke Dubek. 432 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,335 - Ms. Dubek, my name is Philip Price. 433 00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:45,004 I represent Damian Davis. 434 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,039 We have reason to believe you broke your NDA 435 00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:49,641 and we intend to take legal action against you. 436 00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:52,378 - Wait, what? 437 00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:55,981 - You don't understand, Cary. I'm not a bad guy. 438 00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:57,983 My life is just so much better now 439 00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:01,186 that people think I might maybe kinda be gay. 440 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:06,392 I used to be nothing. A nobody. But now--now, I'm a somebody. 441 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:09,261 Last year, I was ever only on the cover of "Men's Health." 442 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,096 It was just me John Krasinski switching off months. 443 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,932 But this month alone, I'm on "Men's Health" 444 00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:17,436 and "GQ" and "Attitude." 445 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,706 Do you know how that feels? 446 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,174 - Actually, no. 447 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:25,411 - I mean, people ship me, Cary. They ship me. 448 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:26,845 On Twitter, Instagram, 449 00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:29,782 everyone is obsessed because I'm a mystery. 450 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:34,720 I'm an enigma. I am the coolest man alive. 451 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,688 - You're a psychopath. 452 00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:38,023 And I've already dated one straight guy. 453 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,258 I'm not doing it again. 454 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,292 ♪ ♪ 455 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,628 - I'm not going back, Cary. 456 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,798 I'm not going back to 100% straight for sure. 457 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,033 I mean, there's Oscar buzz for me for "George." 458 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,136 I'm in talks to play the first gay superhero. 459 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,305 You know how huge that would be for me? 460 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,641 And for you guys. 461 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,609 So here's what we're gonna do. 462 00:17:57,709 --> 00:18:00,879 You are going to come to this Equality Gala with me tonight, 463 00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:05,417 and you are gonna stand by my side and smile. 464 00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:08,921 And if anybody asks, 465 00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:10,889 we do not... 466 00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:12,825 comment... 467 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,226 on our sexuality. 468 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:18,097 - [gasps] [thunder rumbles] 469 00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:21,500 [knock at door] 470 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,135 - Oh. Hey, B. 471 00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:26,071 - Don't "Hey, B" me, you little snake. 472 00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:27,639 - Whoa. What? 473 00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:29,441 - Oh, sure. Yeah, play dumb, but I know for a fact 474 00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,844 that you told people that I fucked Damian Davis. 475 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,245 - Wait. No, I didn't. 476 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,346 I would never do you dirty like that. 477 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,481 - Oh, yeah? 478 00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:36,949 Well, if you didn't tell, who did? 479 00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:38,350 - Oh, Brooke, hey. 480 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,519 - Enough of your shit, you rat-faced bitch. 481 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,820 I knew it was you all along. 482 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,355 - What? I didn't say a word. 483 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,990 - Yeah. B, neither of us told. 484 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:47,159 We haven't even left the apartment today. 485 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:50,462 - Yeah. - Well, then what the hell? 486 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:53,332 Like, literally how did this get out, then? 487 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,334 I fucked Damian Davis. 488 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,435 [words echoing] 489 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,872 Oh, my God. I'm so dumb. 490 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,707 I also told Streeter. 491 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,044 - Oh, wow. 492 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,379 It's cool to see so many people 493 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:08,447 coming to this Equality Gala tonight. 494 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:09,715 The "Pose" people, 495 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,717 that little lesbian tennis player, 496 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,051 Dean Brennon. 497 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,621 - Then tomorrow, I thought we'd head to JFK. 498 00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:18,323 Not to fly anywhere, just to drag empty suitcases around 499 00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:19,958 while the paparazzi take pictures. 500 00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:21,360 [placid classical music playing] 501 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:25,197 - Yes, Dean. Whatever you say, Dean. 502 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,233 - Okay, we're here. 503 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,234 Smile. 504 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,903 [camera shutters clicking] 505 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,372 - It's Dean Brennon! - Over here, Dean! 506 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,140 [overlapping shouting] 507 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,543 - Dean, can you finally confirm what's going on with you two? 508 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,144 - I don't comment on my sexuality. 509 00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:41,647 [words echoing] I keep my personal life personal. 510 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:45,918 I'll just say Cary has become a huge part of my life. 511 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,553 I don't comment-- I don't comment-- 512 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,321 I don't comment on my sexuality. 513 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,023 I don't comment on my sexuality. 514 00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:53,058 - Sorry, I just need to go, uh, 515 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,727 touch up my eye jewels. 516 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:58,030 - Dean! - Over here! 517 00:19:58,096 --> 00:19:59,431 - Hi Streeter, it's Brooke. 518 00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,266 Just calling 'cause apparently it got out 519 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,001 that I fucked Damian Davis, 520 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:05,237 and I know for a fact it was you. 521 00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:06,672 So hold on to your ass, 522 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:10,676 'cause I'm on my way to tear it a new hole! 523 00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,878 Go faster! 524 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,446 Streeter! 525 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,715 - Oh. Hey, Brooke. I was just listening to your voicemail. 526 00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,584 - 'Cause I'm on my way to tear it a new asshole! 527 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,052 No--no, I didn't tell anybody, I swear! 528 00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,787 [phone buzzing] Please don't hurt my ass! 529 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,522 - Hello, Brooke Dubek. 530 00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,791 - Ms. Dubek, Philip Price. You broke your NDA again. 531 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,292 - What? No, I didn't. 532 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,961 - Yes, you did. 533 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,629 We'd like you to come into our offices tomorrow 534 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,030 and discuss the financial implications. 535 00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:33,865 [line clicks] 536 00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:35,634 - What is going on? 537 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,269 I mean, if you didn't say anything, 538 00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:39,238 Lance and Leah haven't left their apartment all day. 539 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,206 How is this happening? 540 00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,975 I fucked Damian Davis. 541 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,276 Go faster! 542 00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:47,246 Oh, my God. 543 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,147 It's so obvious. 544 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,983 Lance, your apartment is bugged. 545 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,819 - Yeah! That's how they found out Brooke fucked Damian Davis! 546 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,387 - What? - I know it sounds insane, 547 00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:57,990 but there is literally no other explanation. 548 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,491 [engine revving] 549 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,494 - [sighs] Fuck. 550 00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:05,497 - Hey, everything okay? 551 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:06,832 My name's James. 552 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,734 I'm on the board of the Equality Foundation. 553 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,269 - Oh, thank God. 554 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,804 Um, yes, there's actually something I need to tell you. 555 00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:15,474 Dean Brennon isn't who he says he is. 556 00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:16,675 - What? 557 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:19,111 - Yeah, he's-- he's 100% straight. 558 00:21:19,177 --> 00:21:21,980 He's been gay-baiting me. 559 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,416 - Oh, my God. Hold on. 560 00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,854 Now listen up, you little faggot. 561 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,255 Of course Dean's straight! 562 00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:31,690 But you're not gonna say a word 563 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,792 because we need him at events like this. 564 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:36,361 You think Gus Kenworthy is coming to this shit 565 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:38,130 if it's just Billie Jean King? 566 00:21:38,196 --> 00:21:41,967 No. Plus, if he leaves, who do we flirt with? 567 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:46,471 - Um, all the other gay people? 568 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:47,673 - Ew. 569 00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:49,207 Listen, we're not idiots. 570 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,110 Everyone here knows Dean is straight. 571 00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:55,047 We just like to believe he's gay. It gives us hope. 572 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,515 It makes us think that anything is possible, 573 00:21:56,615 --> 00:22:00,619 that anyone at any time could be gay. 574 00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:04,222 Don't you wanna live in a world like that? 575 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,624 - No. 576 00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:07,059 No, this is fucked, okay? 577 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,493 You can all do what you want, 578 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,529 but I'm not gonna be a part of it. 579 00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:12,798 - Suit yourself. I'll let Dean know you left. 580 00:22:12,864 --> 00:22:16,168 Hmm, that's actually a good in. 581 00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:17,636 Oh, Deanie! 582 00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:18,737 [indistinct chatter] 583 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,672 [door shuts] - Ugh. 584 00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:24,042 [indistinct chatter] 585 00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:25,544 [door shuts] 586 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,548 [door shuts] 587 00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:35,387 - Hey, guys. I brought wine. 588 00:22:35,487 --> 00:22:37,189 [whispering] I didn't. Get in the bathroom. 589 00:22:37,255 --> 00:22:38,757 - What? 590 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,359 [shower water pattering] 591 00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:43,362 - Okay, no one talk louder than the sound of the water. 592 00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,030 - Yeah, otherwise the bugs will hear. 593 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:46,431 - Come on, B, really? 594 00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:48,500 You think there's bugs in this apartment? 595 00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:51,169 - I don't know. All I know is that I didn't tell anyone else 596 00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:52,938 that I fucked Damian Davis. 597 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:54,940 [phone buzzing] What? 598 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,441 Hello, Brooke Dubek. 599 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:57,943 - Ms. Dubek, Philip Price. 600 00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,178 We know you broke your NDA for a third time 601 00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:01,613 and it's time for you-- 602 00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:05,250 - Yes, Philip, I know the rest. Thank you. 603 00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:09,121 Oh, my God. How is this happening again? 604 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,956 - Brooke fucked Damian Davis! 605 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,458 - Oh, my God, Brooke. - What? What is it? 606 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:16,228 - There are no bugs in the wall. 607 00:23:16,294 --> 00:23:18,397 One of us here is wearing a wire. 608 00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:19,798 both: We're not wearing wires. 609 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:22,367 - Yes. It's the only logical explanation. 610 00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:23,969 both: No, it's not. There's no wires. 611 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:28,473 - Then there's only one way to find out who it is. 612 00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:32,210 Okay, so it was no one. No one's wearing a wire. 613 00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:34,813 - Yeah, that was a bad pitch. Who pitched that, Leah? 614 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:36,148 - I don't get it. 615 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,717 Like, I am a smart girl. What am I missing? 616 00:23:38,784 --> 00:23:40,752 I mean, I was alone every single time 617 00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:42,587 I called you guys from those Lyfts. 618 00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:44,956 - Wait, girl. You called us from Lyfts? 619 00:23:45,056 --> 00:23:45,957 - Uh-huh. 620 00:23:46,057 --> 00:23:47,926 - Brooke. - Oh, my God. 621 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:49,261 - What? - Come on. 622 00:23:49,327 --> 00:23:50,629 - Give me my shirt. - Here. 623 00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:51,997 - What? 624 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,465 - Yeah, come on, Brooke. 'Cause I also... 625 00:23:53,565 --> 00:23:56,668 - What? - Now see what they see. 626 00:23:56,768 --> 00:24:00,639 - Guys? Really, seriously, I don't get it. 627 00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:03,642 Also, it was nice to meet you Leah. 628 00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:05,143 Bangin' bod, girl. 629 00:24:08,079 --> 00:24:09,347 - ♪ Ring around the rosy ♪ 630 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:12,184 ♪ Pocket full of posies ♪ 631 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:14,653 ♪ Ashes, ashes ♪ 632 00:24:14,753 --> 00:24:18,123 ♪ We all fall down ♪ 633 00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:27,199 - You look well. - Here's your harness back. 634 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,701 - Thanks. 635 00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:32,003 Not that I'll be needing it. 636 00:24:32,103 --> 00:24:34,105 I didn't get that gay superhero movie. 637 00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:37,976 - That's what you get, Dean. You shouldn't gay-bait people. 638 00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:41,112 You know the most annoying part of all of this? 639 00:24:41,179 --> 00:24:43,315 I got messages from so many other guys. 640 00:24:43,381 --> 00:24:46,284 I could have had sex with any of them. 641 00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:49,054 But I chose you. 642 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:51,857 - And why do you think that was? 643 00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:53,225 - What? 644 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,494 Because you were the hottest. 645 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,029 - Or was it because I was the straightest? 646 00:24:58,129 --> 00:24:59,798 [soft dramatic music] 647 00:24:59,865 --> 00:25:01,132 - No. No. 648 00:25:01,199 --> 00:25:02,734 I didn't--I didn't know you were straight. 649 00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,069 I thought you were gay. 650 00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:05,570 - I don't think that's true. 651 00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:07,739 I think deep down, you knew that I was straight 652 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:09,307 and that's why you chose me. 653 00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:12,544 So you can act all high and mighty, 654 00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:15,514 but I think you knew exactly what you were doing. 655 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:18,083 ♪ ♪ 656 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,818 Goodbye, Cary. 657 00:25:19,885 --> 00:25:23,522 ♪ ♪ 658 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:29,227 - You guys can't tell anyone I fucked Damian Davis. 659 00:25:29,327 --> 00:25:32,163 Apparently, it got out that I fucked Damian Davis. 660 00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:33,865 - Brooke fucked Damian Davis! 661 00:25:35,567 --> 00:25:37,269 - So as you can see, 662 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:40,171 these are videos from three separate Lyft drivers. 663 00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:43,842 - Who, of course, are little human beings up there. 664 00:25:43,909 --> 00:25:45,176 - Yes. - [clears throat] 665 00:25:45,243 --> 00:25:46,745 - And if I had to guess, 666 00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:49,581 it's that energy that made them send us the tapes. 667 00:25:49,681 --> 00:25:51,116 - I can see that. 668 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,585 So how much do I owe? 669 00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:57,622 [chuckles nervously] 670 00:25:57,722 --> 00:25:59,624 [gasps] 671 00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:00,959 Oh, my God! 672 00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:03,261 How am I supposed to get you all this money? 673 00:26:06,097 --> 00:26:08,199 - Hello, and welcome to "Pat Tac Toe." 674 00:26:08,266 --> 00:26:10,902 I'm your host, Tic Dubek. [cheers and applause] 675 00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:13,405 - She's just warming up. She'll get better. 676 00:26:13,471 --> 00:26:14,973 - No worries. 677 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:16,441 We'll just bring her in ADR that line this weekend. 678 00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:18,143 - Okay, perfect. 679 00:26:22,447 --> 00:26:25,417 [Delibes' "Lakmé"] 680 00:26:25,483 --> 00:26:32,591 ♪ ♪ 49572

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