Original subtitles

♪

♪ In the morning when they found us ♪

♪ And we woke up in the coconut wind ♪

♪ How you took my hand and told me

all the stories of the places you'’d been ♪

♪ And how you thought that I would make it ♪

♪ Now you were the one for me

♪ Yeah

♪

♪ How can you really love someone who can'’t love you ♪

♪ How can you love someone you can'’t leave ♪

♪ It'’s my fault ♪

♪ It'’s your fault too ♪

♪ How about you go and find somebody who can love you ♪

♪

♪ Yeah

♪ When I wake up in the morning ♪

♪ How long until you roll in my dreams ♪

♪ But how I learned not to care ♪

♪ If you'’re not the story that'’s easily seized ♪

♪ And how can you treat me so badly ♪

♪ If you love me don'’t treat me so mean ♪

♪ '’Cause I'm darling politely asking ♪

♪ Can'’t you see all the pain that I'’m in ♪

♪ It'’s getting pretty hard to make it ♪

♪ That'’s all the time for me ♪

♪ And for you

♪

♪ How can you really love someone who can'’t love you ♪

♪ How can you love someone you can'’t leave ♪

♪ It'’s my fault ♪

♪ It'’s your fault too ♪

♪ How about you go and find somebody who can love you ♪

♪ How can you really love someone who can'’t love you ♪

♪ How can you love someone you can'’t leave ♪

♪ It'’s my fault ♪

♪ It'’s your fault too ♪

♪ How about you go and find somebody who ♪

♪

♪ How can you really love someone who can'’t love you ♪

♪ How can you love someone you can'’t leave ♪

♪ It'’s my fault ♪

♪ It'’s your fault too ♪

♪ How about you go and find somebody who can love you ♪

It'’s not enough.

You have to buy more.

What should I get?

Have you seen our lovely collection of CDs for a dollar?

This whole section'’s only a dollar?

-Yeah. -We prefer to think of it

of an installation.

'’Cause nothing here ever moves?

It'’s our statement on the music industry.

Mm.

You can'’t leave until you find at least one CD

you want to buy for a dollar.

Guys, this is really depressing.

Hey, imagine if you'’d signed those bands.

You know, we can actually stay open till midnight

if you need some more time.

[engine buzzing]

You got this.

[laughing]

[knocking]

Hey.

So it'’s kind of slow today.

Rub it in.

Yeah.

Would it be okay if I set up my laptop back here

after I got off?

I'’m trying to avoid my roommates.

How long is this gonna go on for, Duane?

Just till the end of the month.

Okay.

I'’m so glad I'm not in my twenties anymore.

Thanks.

-Duane. -Yeah?

What is it you'’re always working on on that laptop of yours?

Just more playlists.

Like right now I'’m working on one

that'’s a history of New York rock.

Like the one definitive track for each band.

You ever thought about a blog?

Uh...

Seriously, you should post it online.

I don'’t know, I mean,

everyone has one, so, who would ever read it?

You never know, do you?

It might lead to something,

give you an outlet.

Yeah, I'’ll think about it.

[sighing]

♪

Thank you for your patronage.

You should come with me to Coachella this year.

Hang in the VIP tent.

I only listen to the LA Philharmonic.

Are they playing Coachella this year?

-The Sahara tent. -No.

No, come on, man.

Don'’t tell me you like that, you of all people.

-What does that mean? -You'’re the one that's saying

that you can'’t stand those bands that have the--

hold on, what was it--

the Williamsburg Testicle-Free Seal of Approval.

Was that me that said that?

Come on, dude, all I'’m saying is if we open up for them

at the Palladium, that'’s huge for us.

They have a following!

Come on, man, they'’ve been dishing out

that Warmed-Over Krautrock for years now.

I can'’t believe the hipsters are still buying it.

Are you listening to yourself right now?

Warmed-Over Krautrock?

What does that even mean?

Yeah, Duane speaks in rock critic, you need subtitles

in front of him so you understand what he'’s saying.

-I do not speak in rock critic. -Yeah, you do.

You guys coming to my show on Tuesday by the way?

I'’ve seen you play like seven times.

I have actually seen you play in every place

that you'’ve ever played.

But I need you there, you'’re objective.

-I need your opinion. -Aw.

Wait, did you get another show?

Yeah, yeah, another out of work actor is putting on a showcase

and he needs set design that he can'’t afford to pay for.

Right on, well, I hope somebody comes

and shows up and digs your work.

Well, I'’ll be there.

You guys going on first again?

No, man, third, 11 o'’clock start time.

Nice, look at you guys!

-Moving up in the world. -Mm!

-Ow, ow! -Oh-ho!

Again with the tie!

Look, I'’ve got to leave again early.

Can you guys lock up for me?

Yeah, we'’re good.

Where you going all respectable-like?

Sex addict support group.

It'’s a terrible affliction.

Hey, are you off the clock?

Uh, yeah, no, I'’m just hanging out.

You know, six hours of used record time'’s

-just not enough for this guy. -Yeah, I caught him sleeping

in the easy listening section last week.

Oh yeah right, the easy listening.

-Loving the t-shirt. -Thank you.

Yeah, a friend of mine made it for me.

We should sell them in the store.

[door closing]

I'’m gonna say one person in the next three hours.

Ooh, oh, let'’s not get crazy now.

No, no, no, no, he'’s right.

Today is the day it all turns around.

There is a huge pent up demand out there.

I can, I can just feel it.

Hm.

I do think though if somebody comes in and buys something,

-we should give them a beer. -Probably.

Speaking of which, is it my turn to buy?

-Yeah. -Yes.

All right.

See if you can find that beer that tastes like banana bread.

♪

No, no, no, no, no, the cut off line is Some Girls.

After that, the iron gate comes crashing down.

That'’s it, period.

Come on, you gotta give '’em Tattoo You.

-Start Me Up? -Come on,

most of that album was Mick dubbing in vocals over tracks

they'’ve had in the can for years.

Hey, Mick Taylor is all over it.

Mick Taylor'’s my secret boyfriend.

-Good one. -Right?

How do you know who Mick Taylor is?

Dude, my dad has all those records.

Condescend much?

-I wasn'’t being condescending. -Uh...

Was I being condescending?

How long have we worked together?

I'’m sorry, it's just most girls your age don'’t--

Dude, d--d--d--

since when has Lysette done anything

-like most girls our age? -Thank you.

Yes.

Oh God, it'’s so sweet that you'’re so upset about it.

♪

-It'’s easy, Elvis. -Oh, lame.

-Why? -It'’s obvious!

It'’s not--who could fault me?

Wait, okay, why, why do guys always have to say Elvis

when they'’re asked who they would sleep with

if they had to sleep with a guy?

-Why wouldn'’t ya? -Why, because it'’s

the easy choice for straight guys, that'’s why.

Oh, the easy choice, fine.

All right, Mr. I Live on the Edge then.

Come on, hit me, what'’s your choice?

I'’m gonna go with George Harrison.

Agh, can'’t you guys get it up

for somebody in the last 40 years?

-Somebody that'’s actually alive. -Hold on, hold on, yeah.

Just explain your choice first.

First of all, he just looks so cool

in every picture with The Beatles.

Doesn'’t matter what year.

Second, he was such an admirable person in real life.

-Hm. -Hm, aren'’t you gonna

ask him how he knows who George Harrison is?

God, I'’m never gonna live that down, am I?

-No. -And you know what the thing is,

I don'’t even wanna sleep with the guy.

I wanna have like a mystical,

spiritual union with him.

What?

A mystical, spiritual union?

What does that mean?

Haven'’t you guys ever wanted to live

beyond the grasp of material things?

No!

That'’s what he was all about.

Hm.

Who are you?

I mean, where are these hidden depths coming from?

Stereotype much?

Look beyond the tattoos, dude.

That should be an album title

or like a lyric or something, it'’d be great.

Are we not drinking ourselves into oblivion?

You can if you want, unless you want a ride.

♪

Twice now I'’ve offered to bring in my own speakers.

-And? -He keeps putting me off.

He says he'’s gonna fix the PA system himself.

He must not wanna spend the money right now.

How much does it cost to set up an iPod dock?

Have you ever heard of a record store that can'’t play music?

What kind of a message does that send?

It'’s not good.

We'’re not doing any in-stores.

Or record release parties.

Where do you guys think he'’s going when he puts on that tie?

I mean, do you think he'’s skipping out

on us for interviews?

Maybe he'’s going to a speed dating service for,

like, middle-aged indie dudes.

I wish he could meet someone.

Seriously, I mean, do you know where he'’s going?

Oh, I have no clue.

♪

So when am I gonna get the chance to show my hidden depths?

I mean, tell me that, my friend.

How long am I gonna keep living like this,

like only halfway in the world?

♪

I mean, the songs playing in my head are so much more real

and intense than anything going on in my real life.

Do you ever feel like that?

You must.

I just thought that when my real life started, like,

music would just fade to the background.

Like it'’d be the soundtrack

to my exciting, fulfilling life.

♪

You know, I can tell you from every date in college

what song was playing

in the car, the club, bar,

whatever, I can name '’em all.

♪

God, those poor girls though.

♪

Did I ever shut up?

I don'’t know, but music'’s my life.

But I don'’t play an instrument, I don'’t sing.

I can'’t write or read music.

I don'’t create anything.

I don'’t add to anything.

♪

You probably can'’t even imagine what that'’s like.

Chris, Chris plays in a band.

They'’re a loud, heavy, sweaty band.

"Ahhh" and all that.

But I don'’t know, I still

would love to know what it'’s like

to live in that moment of performance.

Like, where there'’s no gap between being and creating.

A work of art isn'’t something

that you turn over endlessly in your head.

It'’s just there.

♪

And when it'’s done, it's gone.

But you did it.

♪

So when am I gonna get the chance to tell everyone

all the things I need to tell them?

Tell me that, my friend.

♪

[car engines whirring]

[birds chirping]

♪

Hey, man.

What'’s up?

Uh, so what'’s up with the shirt?

Oh, yeah, this chick gave it to me.

It'’s a memento.

Isn'’t it a little early for Twilight irony?

-Twilight irony? -Yeah.

I mean, all the girls that saw that movie

when they were 12 are like 18 now

and they'’re still probably in love with the guy.

So you can pull that t-shirt off.

If I wore a Twilight shirt, if I was being ironic,

I'’d look like an asshole.

And if not, I'’d look beyond pathetic.

Yeah, you would.

Hey, did you see that shirt that Chris was wearing yesterday?

Let me guess, you wanna make fun of it?

No, it actually got me thinking.

You know, in like five or ten years time,

Twilight irony could be big business.

Twilight irony.

You know that sounds an awful lot like rock critic.

Didn'’t we talk about that?

I'’m being serious.

Watch, in five to ten years time,

Twilight irony is gonna be a thing.

'’Cause all those girls that saw the movie

are gonna be old enough to have their own bands

and club nights and things,

and they'’ll appropriate that imagery from their adolescence.

Put a new spin on it.

You'’ve got your finger on the pulse.

Look, somebody'’s gonna make a buck off it.

Maybe it should be me.

I didn'’t know you were so ambitious.

I keep my plans for world domination well hidden.

Very well hidden.

♪

Sweetheart, do we really have to document everything I do?

Don'’t be self-conscious.

Come on, you were gonna do reality TV.

Don'’t remind me.

Look over your shoulder, one more.

[camera shutter clicking]

Now, you do know I'’m not a rock star yet, right?

You were born a rock star.

These are great, we'’ll use 'em for your Tumblr.

Oh, great, my Tumblr.

My Facebook, my Instagram, my Twitter.

What?

Nothing.

♪

-Good morning. -Morning.

I can use one of them, thank you.

-Big day. -Yeah, I was gonna pop out

during lunch and show my work.

Fine.

Onwards and upwards.

Do you know if Chris has a gig this week?

I'’m thinking about going and checking it out.

Yeah, it'’s on Tuesday but I'’m not gonna go.

-Had enough? -I'’ve seen him like seven times.

I feel like I'’ve done my duty at this point.

I know what you mean.

They'’re really good though.

-Dude, the guitarist. -Kyle.

-Kid can play. -Yeah.

Him and Chris together, they could really do something.

Yeah, but whenever I go see them,

Chris has all those girls hanging on him,

and then I go backstage to say hi

and they'’re all like...

Agh, you can tell they'’re trying to decide if I'’m someone

they need to be nice to or not.

Last time I went,

some girl asked me whose dad I was.

Ouch.

Kinda hate being in that situation.

Backstage, yeah?

You know, like, the girl hanging out

with all the stud musicians.

You'’re not a musician too,

they'’re never really gonna respect you.

Chris is a really cool guy, but at his shows

I feel like even he expects me to be his fan club.

Ego fluffer.

[scoffing]

[distant horns honking]

You call that guy yet?

Who?

That guy I was telling you about, Johnny.

[camera shutter clicking]

-Johnny. -What?

He knows everybody.

Johnny.

-He'’s a song doctor. -So?

He could really help you guys.

Come on, you know we'’re not that kind of band.

-You'’re not. -What?

You and Kyle are like a boy band for girls with tattoos.

You just don'’t know it yet.

Oh yeah, is that right?

Well, thanks.

I guess.

[camera shutter clicking]

♪

So, I have my own table at Comic-Con this year.

You wanna come with?

You could be my booth babe.

♪

I was just joking about booth babe.

[laughing]

I think you'’d be a great booth babe.

Booth babe!

What'’s up, Walt man?

You okay?

Yeah, I'’m just sorting out some finances, you know.

So, tell us about the meeting with the big time manager.

-Oh, yeah. -How did that go?

Awesome, you wouldn'’t believe it.

He has gold records all over his wall.

[muffled conversations]

Every day it'’s the same thing.

What, here?

No!

Chris has Walt hooked.

All he has to do is come in and spin tales

about his band trying to make it in the biz

and then Walt'’ll let him show up as late as he wants,

make phone calls, leave early.

It'’s like Chris is Scheherazade or something.

I know who Scheherazade is.

-I didn'’t say anything, I-- -Oh no?

But you were gonna.

But he was telling me, he'’s like, he's like,

"You like albums, I like albums.

We all like albums, I'’m not talking about albums.

All I need is five killer tracks that I can license."

Wow.

There it is.

The industry in a nutshell, man.

Yeah, no joke.

You know, it'’s really not cool of you

to talk behind people'’s backs,

especially since Walt is super cool

and he lets you hang out here

so you don'’t have to see your roommates.

Was I being lame?

Would it help if I got beer?

That would be a start.

The wife and me split around the time of the dot-com boom.

The store got priced out of San Francisco

and I moved down here.

Couldn'’t believe how cheap the leases were in LA.

Wait, so you and your wife ran the record store up there?

We were just off the Lower Haight.

It was when alternative rock was really kicking in.

And for a while, it was like the store was this...

Hey, boss, tell us again how you saw Nirvana

before Nevermind came out.

Duane, are you being lame?

No.

That'’s her there.

Oh, so you were married to Neko Case.

No, this one.

No way.

Damn, she'’s actually kinda good-looking.

-Uh, thanks. -No, I'’m just saying

it doesn'’t look like a green card marriage.

Yeah, well, didn'’t hurt the foot traffic in the store,

if you know what I mean.

♪

You should come with me to Coachella this year.

I know people, we can party in the VIP tent.

I'’m more of a Stagecoach girl.

Oh, me too.

I mean, I love country music.

Tim McGraw is a god.

[door closing]

-Yeah. -Hey, Lys,

did you ever show that director your set designs the other day?

Yup.

Did he hit on you too?

Yeah.

All right, well just make sure you give me the address.

I'’ll send Duane over there to beat his ass.

I'’ll do it, I'll walk in with a Japanese import disc

and take his head off.

Well, I kinda pictured you talking him to death.

Thank you, guys, but um,

let'’s wait to see if I get the job first before you off him.

Fine.

♪

[traffic whirring]

[indistinct chatter]

A more diversified portfolio.

You don'’t say?

401K?

I haven'’t even got half a K.

[sighing]

A more aggressive rate of return.

So what would he suggest I do?

How about I could sell weapons to the Hezbollah?

Open a car wash?

Music is all I know, man.

Music up to the year 2005.

After that, I'’m lost.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

♪

[birds chirping]

♪

Yeah, man, there'’s plenty of days where living in LA

just seems like a big hassle.

[horns honking]

It'’s always during the day when you'’re like...

"Why do I put up with this shit," you know?

Come on!

But at night,

it wasn'’t until I moved to LA that I realized--

really appreciated what magic hour meant.

I mean, sometimes I feel like

you can feel the whole city just changing,

coming to life, you know?

After dark is the reward.

It'’s like all these people just coming out

that you never see during the day, you know?

No one you'’d ever see in an office.

♪

Are we talking about girls here?

Well, not just the girls.

No, it'’s how it feels when I go to a cool show.

It'’s that vibe, you know?

Kinda subterranean.

♪

Yeah, actually.

And it'’s not just when we have a cool show either.

You know, once I go to any show, it'’s like,

this is what I live for, you know?

Like it'’s amazing how a great show can just--

just makes up for so much in your life.

It'’s like kinda chasing a high in a way.

So you let everything else just slip away.

That'’s why I put up with the bullshit.

You get one good night

and it makes everything that was hassling you at noon

seem just so far away.

♪

You'’re up by noon?

I remember what it was like.

♪

So...

Do you have a boyfriend?

Yeah, whenever I want.

Hm.

♪

Bye!

Good answer.

He walked right into that.

[muffled TV playing]

♪

When you were growing up,

did girls ever call you Brain Duane?

No.

Why not?

Seems like a wasted opportunity.

♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪

Come on, man, give me a break.

Those guys are like a dumbed down California stoner version

of The Jesus and Mary Chain.

Is he always like this?

They'’re like The Cure got stoned with Sublime

and lost all creativity.

You say of the name of any band and it'’s like pushing a button

and out comes a grammatically correct rant.

♪

This girl at the bar told me I was like a walking Shazam app.

I couldn'’t tell if she meant it as a compliment or not.

♪

Check one, one, two, one.

Check one, two, three.

Check, check.

[camera shutter clicking]

♪

You know it drives Kyle crazy

when you'’re taking pictures the entire set?

He needs to get used to it.

Well, maybe you could just stop

taking pictures after three songs.

No, I need to take pictures the whole show

-to make sure that-- -You'’re not gonna get--

Chris, when you guys are performing,

do you like completely escape self consciousness?

♪

I'’m just curious as a civilian.

-That is the goal. -Yeah.

Sometimes, like when I lock in with Kyle, you know?

♪

With the other guys, I feel like I have to think about shit

that I feel like I shouldn'’t have to think about.

♪

Transcendence is hard to come by.

That'’s another album title right there.

♪

Are you good?

Yeah, no, I'’m good.

[indistinct chatter]

♪

To transcendence.

♪

[indistinct chatter]

Last call.

Walt knows exactly what he'’s doing

when he leaves her up at the counter all day.

And she knows who Mick Taylor is.

-The perfect woman. -Yeah.

[indistinct conversations]

Are you sweet on her?

I don'’t know.

Kinda.

Well she just blows me away with some of the stuff

she comes out with sometimes.

There'’s no dude in the picture?

Not that I know of.

Well, she'’s always texting someone.

Her theater people?

Maybe, I don'’t know.

I still can'’t get a read on whether or not

she'’d be into me or not.

Well, no offense,

if she doesn'’t wanna sleep with you,

that doesn'’t really surprise me.

It'’s not really what's intriguing about her.

Okay, and why wouldn'’t it surprise you

if she didn'’t wanna sleep with me?

Dude, don'’t you get it?

You'’re radioactive to women because you'’re so needy.

Radioactive?

I'’m not radioactive.

What are you--

what does that even mean?

You really didn'’t know?

Anyways, like I was saying,

what'’s interesting about Lysette is that she doesn'’t even

show any signs of wanting to sleep with me,

which is like, what is she waiting for, right?

[indistinct conversations]

♪

There is no such thing as underground anymore.

The internet killed it.

Nowadays, everywhere you go,

it'’s the same overproduced pussy-ass rock.

You know?

Yeah, so you only go for the cutting-edge stuff, huh?

Cutting-edge is the life I live.

Come with me.

♪

I have to know.

Are you for real?

Did you mean what you just said?

Yeah.

We wouldn'’t offer this to just anyone.

♪

The blogosphere is on fire about this album.

The band'’s name is called Ass Spatter?

You'’ve never heard of Ass Spatter?

Dude, he'’s never heard of Ass Spatter.

I have, I'’ve heard of Ass-- I dig their early stuff.

When was this made?

Just think of it as timeless,

and you'’ve gotta go for the vinyl.

You'’d be missing out on the whole vision

if you went digital only.

-Is this really rare? -Dude.

Thurston Moore cannot get his hands on this record.

-How much you want for it? -We both know

that you can'’t put a price on transgression, but...

we'’ll let you have it for 20 bucks.

Twenty bucks?

Okay, I'’ll skip pedicure this week.

-Sign me up. -Right on, dude.

You got 20 bucks for that?

Unbelievable.

May I?

Take that, go get a bottle of champagne.

Wow, it'’s that big of a deal?

Oh yes, I'’ve had that thing since like '’94.

It was on the wall in San Francisco.

People used to come into the store just to laugh at it.

I can'’t believe you got rid of the bloody thing.

-Thank you. -It was my pleasure.

♪

Right, I'’ve got I Touch Myself,

She Bop, and Dancing With Myself.

What else do you think should be on there?

Wow, you'’re really making a playlist about masturbation.

What else is there to do?

A subject much on your mind?

You just had to go there.

You couldn'’t let that one just pass you by.

Well, of course, you'’ve gotta make the obvious play.

Wouldn'’t indie rock guys be more likely to write a song

about masturbation than classic rock guys?

Discuss.

-I do not hold forth. -Yeah, you do.

You sit on your stool all day and you hold forth

about music and about television.

It'’s true, dude, you do.

Lock up for me, will you?

Will do.

Haven'’t you ever noticed how much you scare the customers?

All right, no, I do not scare the customers.

-Where are the customers? -Yeah, that'’s on me.

Wouldn'’t go so far as to say you scare the customers, but...

♪

So this is it?

Hi.

You really spend your afternoons here?

No, it'’s quaint.

An honest to God record store.

You should have DJs come in for competitions.

We should.

You could have all this music on a laptop or a phone.

Well, most people come in here because they like

the tactile experience of vinyl.

Still, if you hadn'’t turned down that reality show,

you wouldn'’t have to be here.

You never told us about a reality show.

-Yeah! -Oh, busted!

Your secret'’s out.

Can you see this guy with a camera crew

following him around everywhere?

Please, my worst nightmare.

So, do you get, like, commission for selling

these collector'’s items or something?

No, no, no, no, not this guy.

See, he doesn'’t even actually work here.

He makes a fortune selling

his exotic used porn collection online.

I don'’t have an exotic porn collection.

Oh, a real playa.

No, I, I don'’t have any porn collection.

Don'’t be modest, tell '’em about it.

[laughing]

[traffic whirring]

That was mean.

I was trying to help the guy out.

Listen, I gave you an opening, you should'’ve rolled with it.

Right, and how am I supposed to roll with you

making me sound like a total perv?

You just gotta be less bottled up.

You should'’ve, should'’ve went over there

and been like, "Hey, let me show you, uh--"

Wait, what is it what you say?

It'’s uh, "Let me show you what the tactile experience

of vinyl'’s all about."

Oh, your vintage soul collection

is making me feel strangely flustered.

Those chicks would'’ve been totally into that.

Bottled up?

So are they your new fan club?

Well, it'’s--girls like that are why I need you in my life.

So how'’s your photographer friend these days?

Who, you mean Erin?

You'’d know her name better than I would.

I don'’t know, she's around.

She'’s around?

-Where? -What?

-I don'’t belong to her. -Is she behind me?

-You wanna meet her? -Love to meet her.

♪

[scoffing]

♪

Bottled up.

♪

Bottled up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on, slow down.

I--hold on, give me a second.

Did we sell anybody a record named Ass Spatter?

It'’s a 'epinoymous,'’ it means that

the album was the same as the band name.

You mean it was eponymous.

I don'’t know, I've only read it.

Besides, how do you know?

-Kidding. -Okay, well,

he keeps ranting about Ass Spatter, okay?

Thought it was some dude with Tourettes prank calling us.

-So what'’s he want? -He says we swindled him.

Oh.

Dude needs to smoke a joint.

Dude, we let you in on the ground floor of Ass Spatter

and now you wanna wimp out?

Okay, you said that you wanted

to be part of a real underground.

Well, now you are.

Yeah, yeah, you know

there were only 500 copies of that record made.

Exactly, you'’re part of a vanguard.

Do us proud, dude.

Well, call me crazy but I think your talents

are under-used around here.

You don'’t think he's gonna come back with a gun, do you?

Hey, man, what'’s so--

what, what?

You'’ve gotta be kidding me! Shit!

I should go see what'’s up.

No, no, no, let her go.

[plane engine humming]

Goddamnit.

Goddamnit!

Hey.

What'’s wrong?

My guitarist quit.

Kyle.

I'’m sorry.

Is that it for the band?

I don'’t know.

Maybe.

Probably.

He was really good.

No kidding.

I waited years to meet a guy like him.

Do you know how rare it is to meet someone

with their own sound,

someone who doesn'’t sound like anybody else?

I mean, people don'’t stop and listen to me when I sing,

but they do for him.

They shut up and they put down their phones when he plays.

No, it'’s you as well.

No, it'’s me with him.

He makes everybody he plays with sound better.

You know, I turn 28 this year.

I turned down a reality TV gig for this band.

Why'’d you turn that down?

Dude, seriously?

I didn'’t want Kyle to think I was hedging my bets.

You'’ll find another guy.

Do you know how hard it is to find a real guitar player?

In LA?

I mean, they'’re everywhere.

-Just-- -From now on,

I'’m gonna have everyone telling me,

"Hey, listen to this kid.

He sounds just like Jack White."

"Meet this guy.

He'’s gonna be the next Jack White."

I'’m gonna audition 30 people,

and they'’re all gonna sound like Jack White,

except they don'’t have talent

and they don'’t have charisma!

Shouldn'’t someone be up front?

Like, in case any customers come in?

Good one.

So why is Kyle leaving?

His girlfriend is moving to Austin

for grad school and he wants to be with her.

I was lining up a gig at South by Southwest,

and now he'’s moving to Austin.

That'’s serious irony.

Hey, don'’t you have a blog to work on or something?

Come on, man.

I mean, is losing this guy really that bad?

Besides, the electric guitar is a tired instrument.

That'’s like saying the voice is a tired instrument.

It'’s a tired instrument until somebody comes along

and plays and blows you away with what he can do.

What?

[door slamming]

Every conversation he'’s in, he'’s just so loud.

He just fills all the space.

But he'’s good looking, so, eh...

Oh, come on.

As if looks are some kind of novelty in LA.

What did you move here for

if you can'’t deal with guys like that?

Seriously.

Look, the girls love Chris

because he'’s passionate about something.

Now what are you passionate about?

-Lots of things. -Besides 180 gram

vinyl reissues.

I'’m not a Nick Hornby character, you know.

I never said you were.

Look, what you care about is all up here.

But no one can see what it is.

We can'’t read your mind.

Now drop the barriers.

You'’ve gotta open up.

♪

♪

Fire. Fire is what people want.

No offense, but you spend the whole time

just walking around coolly disdainful.

Fine, you might meet a girl who'’s the same way.

Do you think she'’ll wear those cool cat-eye glasses?

'’Cause I am a big fan.

But she will never show you passion,

because you never show her the passion.

♪

You don'’t take a risk.

♪

Who knows?

You may be very happy together.

Bloody idiot.

♪

♪

Look, dude, seriously.

Don'’t go to the District Attorney'’s office.

♪

No, just think about it.

You walk into the D.A.'’s office

with a record that says "Ass Spatter" on it.

You could get arrested.

You want me to audition a guy named Shade.

Shade is his name.

No first name, no last name,

I just address him as "Shade"?

No, you don'’t want me to go "Mr. Shade," right?

Just...

Oh, yeah.

I bet he'’s great.

I think he is going to be the best guy

that we have available, huh?

Sure.

[laughing]

[grunting]

♪

Amazing how shit would sell in the '’90s.

CDs would just go on forever.

One good track, 14 shit ones.

Right around 2000, I knew our moment was gone forever.

Change in the zeitgeist?

People just didn'’t want to buy overpriced CDs anymore.

Plus the wife left,

the store went tits up in a ditch.

You guys, quit being morbid.

We'’re not being morbid.

We'’re just doing some cultural archaeology.

You guys want to get lunch?

Chris can man the battle station.

Go on.

So you think we'’re morbid, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, you guys want to read the tea leaves

into every dopey-ass song that comes on the radio.

Well...

Well, I'’m glad I have you in my life

to debunk my pretensions.

Aww, everybody needs someone to take the piss.

Actually, I'’m just glad I have you in my life, period.

Well, thanks.

You know, I don'’t think you know how much you mean to me.

Come on, don'’t tell me you haven'’t felt it.

Felt what?

You know, the...

the vibe when we'’re working together.

It'’s fun!

A little playful,

a little tense.

I just thought maybe we should go deeper with it.

You know, take it to the next level.

Wait, hold on, I'’m mixing metaphors now.

-I mean-- -Things are fun between us

because they'’re not tense.

You'’re my pal.

I want to feel like you have my back

when goofballs come in and they start hitting on me.

Lysette, could I have a word with you?

-Yeah. -Am I interrupting anything?

No.

Lysette, I need to tell you something.

You don'’t have a crush on me, do you?

-Me? -Sorry.

You know, why didn'’t--

"Deeper with it," Jesus Christ.

Jesus f-- what the hell was that?

Look, you'’ve been here the longest,

so I thought you should be the first to know.

The meetings I had with the loan officer at the bank

didn'’t pan out.

I couldn'’t point to anything to say business

is gonna pick up here anytime soon.

I'’m sorry, but I'm out of--

You know what?

I do have things that move me in my life.

All right, things that stir my innermost being.

And I'’m not radioactive!

Why are you being such a freak?

So glad I'’m not in my 20s anymore.

Hey!

Hey, man, hold on.

What is your deal?

You'’re being a jerk!

That'’s great, I'’m being the jerk?

What is this, the world turned inside out?

Listen, man, when I told you

you were being too needy around women,

I was doing you a favor.

Yeah, thanks a lot for that, I really appreciate it.

You'’re so magnanimous.

God, "magnanimous," it means that--

I know what magnanimous means, dickhead!

Yeah!

Kick his ass!

What is it with you, huh?

Is it so hard to believe that a girl could be fond of you

without wanting to do you?

You'’re accusing me?

I respect woman, all right?

Oh, yeah, I'’m sure you respect women

in all those fantasies of yours, no doubt.

My fantasies aren'’t the issue here!

Listen, all I'’m saying is that this is the real world.

Why can'’t you just be happy with what you have with Lysette?

What are you even talking about?

She cares about you.

Why can'’t you appreciate that for what it is?

What are you, the death metal Dr. Phil now?

Do you ever stop being clever?

Where is it getting you?

What was that guy'’s deal?

Oh, my God.

♪

Hey.

Look, you guys, before you say anything,

I'’m really sorry about the whole temper tantrum thing.

I swear that'’ll never happen again.

We'’re closing.

Okay, cool.

Well, I can stick around and lock up then,

if you guys want.

No, man, like closing for good, closing.

We haven'’t come even close to making our lease in months.

What? What about the record store day?

I mean, we had the guy buy a Noy box set

for 250 bucks alone.

One day doesn'’t make up for the entire year, does it?

If you recall, I used that 250 bucks

to take you all out to dinner.

I knew we were screwed even then.

I knew this day was coming.

Ever since that old Latina lady came in

and she was looking for the Taylor Swift album

for her granddaughter, and we didn'’t have it.

That day was like an avalanche of bad karma, wasn'’t it?

Yeah.

Now, I don'’t want any of you getting sentimental.

No tears.

What are you looking at me for?

This place had a decent run.

I knew the days of the record stores were numbered

even when I opened the place.

To Essential Music.

Hear, hear.

♪

Think of it as a relief.

No more sitting here wondering when

the next Japanese collector of our dreams

is gonna walk through that door,

whip out his Black American Express card.

Oh, well, I am glad you'’re over that,

because we have never taken American Express.

You have a point.

Seriously, though, I know it'’s early,

but have you considered what you'’re gonna do next?

Well, look, I'’ve done the Lower Haight,

I'’ve done Silver Lake.

What should I do, keep moving?

Open up shop in more and more edgier locations?

I hear there'’s a record store vacuum

happening in Juárez right now.

No, it'’s time for me to stand up

and embrace the monster that is the World Wide Web.

[gasping]

I'’m gonna sell stuff online.

Good luck with that.

Wait, so that'’s why you had us doing inventory.

Yeah.

Seriously, can you imagine

another five years of this place?

Me telling the same old war stories

to a bunch of kids who have no idea

what I'’m talking about.

Oh, my God, I feel like it'’s finally starting to sink in.

-What is? -That I might never

have conversations where people say things

like, "Warmed-Over Krautrock" ever again.

Is that really such a bad thing?

Look, you guys, I'’m sorry about the meltdown earlier--

Forget about it.

You guys know I'’d crawl through 10 miles

of broken glass for you, right?

Oh, yeah. Never doubted it.

Freak.

So, if we stay open until Sunday,

will that be enough for you to make your rent?

Yes. Thank you.

It'’s not about prolonging the death throes.

I say stay open at the weekend, let a few people in

to pick over the stock, you know, experts.

Yeah, vultures.

Now we'’ve got to wring out every dollar, right?

Exactly. And I'’ll tell you what.

If Ass Spatter guy calls again,

tell him to come back Monday, we'’ll give him a full refund.

Perfect!

I still can'’t believe he got away with that.

My proudest moment.

It might be all right.

I mean, come on, selling that collection,

that could be like a steady trickle of income.

I don'’t know, man, I feel like we were watching

an Academy Award performance.

What do you mean?

You couldn'’t tell?

He obviously didn'’t want us to see how bummed out he was.

[sniffing]

You all right?

He didn'’t want us to know

he'’s been losing money for months.

How did I miss that?

♪

A lot of drama, huh?

Yeah.

Thank you for the ride home.

Of course.

We'’ll make the last couple days fun, huh?

Make sure this guy gets home all right.

Oh, I'’ll do my best, but you know this guy.

He'’s a wild man.

Yeah.

Hey, Lys, hold up.

Hey.

Hey, look, I'’m sorry if I put you on the spot

earlier today.

Thank you.

-Duane. -Yeah?

You know we would make a terrible couple, don'’t you?

Terrible?

Why?

Because I don'’t know what I want

and neither do you.

-I don'’t what? -What?

I mean, I don'’t know what I want

-or I don'’t know what you want? -Both!

You'’re right.

-I'’ll see you tomorrow. -See you tomorrow.

Nailed it.

Is it possible that I just know completely nothing

about women?

♪

It'’s not the end of the world.

♪

Yeah, well, it really feels like it to me.

And that'’s exactly why I'’m gonna be there Sunday

when you say goodbye, all right?

You know, just so you don'’t do anything stupid.

Great.

And since when did I become your project?

♪

♪ And it came from the heart

Did you actually want Lysette?

Or were you just...

♪

I don'’t know.

♪

What do you mean?

No offense, but it seems like you don'’t have

a whole lot of positive things

going on in your life right now.

Well, considering all the other women in my life

are on my album covers...

Okay, promise me you are not gonna go home,

stay up all night, and have a pity party

with all your music.

You just think I'’m some dumb college kid,

don'’t you?

Seriously, do yourself a favor, no pity parties,

no drowning in your sorrows, okay?

Dude, we don'’t even have any alcohol in the apartment.

♪

Which is not to say

there might not be a moment of mature reflection

with some sensitive musical accompaniment.

♪

Goodnight, dude.

♪

[vocalizing]

♪

[birds chirping]

My friends always ask about you.

I think they thought you were my mid-life crisis.

Can'’t think why.

It'’s that thing you got on your head, Walt.

Well, if it'’s good enough for Keith,

it'’s good enough for me.

Keith?

Never mind.

I'’m sorry to hear about the store.

Oh.

Alexis, if you could see what some of these kids

are doing out there in Silver Lake and Echo Park,

it would blow your mind.

They'’ve got record stores with art galleries in the back,

recording studios, cafes.

I can'’t compete with that.

-What happened? -It'’s me.

I'’m just not feeling it anymore.

I'’ve lost me mojo, man.

♪

I used to get this incredible buzz from music.

I'’d read all the music press.

If there was an obscure zine, I would know it.

I'’d read about some band

whose records you couldn'’t even find.

And I'’d just spend days

imagining what they would sound like.

The indie bands, the little indie labels,

it was like poetry to me.

♪

But now when I flip through a music magazine,

it'’s like a foreign language that I don'’t speak anymore.

It'’s a load of gibberish.

Did I just sound incredibly middle-aged

-saying all that? -Well, it was bound

to happen sometime, Walt.

I always thought I was immune somehow.

I can'’t believe there's gonna be no more Essential Music.

I mean, in my life, there have been

three record stores: Wallichs Music City,

Tower on Sunset, your place.

Now music is just something I listen to on the computer.

Well, there you have it.

I bet I drove you crazy

all the time I spent in the store, didn'’t I?

Well, I couldn'’t drag you out of there.

You had your office set up like a man cave

before man caves were the thing.

Forgive me?

So what are you gonna do?

I think it'’s time yours truly got a Hollywood gig.

Hmm.

So any time they'’re making movies

set between 1975 and 2005,

let me be the one who picks the songs for it.

Nice!

You'’ve been saving yourself up for that.

My fee will be very reasonable,

a low six-figure sum.

Do you ever think of moving back to England?

England?

Last time I was in England, John Major was Prime Minister.

-Who? -I rest my case.

So seriously, what are you gonna do?

Alexis, what is all this questioning?

It'’s like the ex-wife.

[sighing]

What am I gonna do?

In the immortal words of the great Joe Strummer...

Who the fuck knows?

Do you want money, Walt?

Me?

Duane'’s Blog.

[keyboard keys clacking]

Duane'’s Super Music Power Hour.

Duane'’s Ass-Kicking, Blog-a-tastic...

Duane'’s Ass-Kicking, Subgenre to Mainstream...

Duane'’s Blog.

♪

[door opening]

This looks like quite the project.

You wouldn'’t believe the shit I'’ve been finding in here.

Do you even remember those?

-Cassette single? -Yeah.

It looks like it should be played on a toy or something.

One more format that fell by the wayside.

Yeah.

It really is the end of days.

Ah, now you'’re both here, I'’ve got something for you.

Don'’t spend it all at once.

Probably won'’t be getting one of these for a while.

Probably use it to buy some new CDs.

You guys know of any place

that'’s got some rock bottom prices?

No, don'’t do that.

We'’ve got something for you, ready?

Thought you could use some cheering up.

We figured it was the one thing in the store

you'’d most appreciate.

Well, thanks for looking out for me, you guys.

Don'’t mention it.

Would you like some free coasters?

Somebody took all the psych albums?

Well, a couple of dealers came by and sniffed out

the best stuff in about three minutes flat.

-Sorry. -What do you got going on

after this whole last hurrah?

Jeanine and I got a gig.

We'’re gonna be working on sets

up at the Santa Maria Shakespeare Festival.

That is awesome!

A nice coastal town, get you out of LA

-for the summer. -Exactly!

I'’m so excited to be away

from 99-seat black box theaters for a while.

You'’ll have to let me know when that goes on.

I'’ll make sure to check it out.

You know, it wouldn'’t be the worst thing in the world

for you to get out of this place.

Right.

Wait, what'’s that?

You'’re running out on Ass Spatter guy?

Yeah, I don'’t think things are gonna work out between us.

Too bad. He seemed like the kind of guy

who'’s probably carving your name

into his chest right now.

I'’m so happy you finally met someone.

Oh, both you guys,

we'’re having a party a week from Saturday,

and I really hope you can come.

Walt, you gonna be there?

Yeah, I might make it.

Not sure I can handle the new dynamic

where you guys don'’t work for me anymore.

Seriously, I would love to see you there.

We'’re hoping that Duane might hold forth

for a few hours.

How can I say no to that?

It'’s a deal, we'll be there!

All right, well, uh...

See you later!

And Walt, please, don'’t let me down!

You'’ll be seeing me, man.

A year from now, Duane and me will be fighting

over who'’s gonna work your merch table.

Oh, my God.

Please don'’t even joke about that.

Yeah, I need to get out of here now.

I'’ll see you soon.

Promise me you'’re not gonna obsess about that party.

Man, figuring out how I'’m gonna pay rent this month

has pushed all of that to the side, believe me.

So what'’s next for you?

Oh, I didn'’t tell you.

The band is down to me and the bassist.

-What happened? -Everyone'’s bailing.

Drummer quit to go play drums for a Mexican goth band.

Huh.

It'’s like last week I was fronting

this amazing rock army,

and this week we'’re just a roots outfit.

I don'’t know, man.

Strike another match, go start anew.

What?

Nothing, Dylan line.

Hey, I was thinking, you should really

start that blog or something.

Like, you know a lot about music,

and you know how to turn a phrase.

-You may as well. -Thanks.

I don'’t know, I mean, it'’s such a cliché, though.

It'’s not a cliché if you'’re doing it.

I mean, what'’s that famous quote by that chick?

Martha Graham.

Seriously, it'’s that famous quote

where she'’s like, "If you have something special

to bring in this world, it'’s your duty to bring it out

because nobody else has it."

That could be you and your music knowledge.

You'’re quoting Martha Graham?

Who are you?

I had a vocal coach in high school

I remembered it from.

This chick, by the way, was totally into me.

Well, I never forgot it.

You should check it out.

I will.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

Wait, you took vocal lessons?

Yes, not very rock and roll, I know.

Let'’s just say that'’s my dirty little secret.

Literally in every high school musical.

♪ Could it be? Yes, it could ♪

♪ Something'’s coming, something good ♪

♪ Long as I wait

♪ Something'’s coming, I don'’t know what it is ♪

♪ But it is gonna be great

♪

[knocking]

Yeah, I like it.

Do you need some help?

No, I'’m fine.

You could handle the last minute rush.

Shouldn'’t it be your fan club broken up about this?

Not you?

You weren'’t planning on a secret career

in retailing, were you?

No. Nope.

It'’s just, you know, I'’ve been working here

for a year and a half,

and it just--it occurred to me

that the type of work that I want to do,

it'’s always going to be a temporary situation.

At least you'’ll meet new people.

Yeah, but I'’m really--

I'’m really gonna miss the old ones.

[door opening, closing]

Right.

[ripping]

[sighing]

♪

[keys jingling]

♪

Fuck, man.

Dammit.

♪

♪

Why? Please!

You'’ll love jazz-country fusion, it'’s the best!